1
[traffic noise]
MARION: Shh!
Mommy and Daddy
decided to have Lulu.
Well, we didn't really decide.
It just happened.
When you were born,
we were very happy,
and we still are,
but separately.
Daddy has his apartment,
and Mommy has her apartment,
and Daddy can see Lulu
whenever he wants.
Everything is great.
Now your grandpa
is coming to visit,
and you have to be
very cuddly with him,
because, not long ago,
Granny flew away into the sky...
and now Pappy is sad and lonely.
But Auntie Rose is coming, too.
It's going to be a party!
Party! Party! Party!
MALE TV REPORTER: Today marks
the sixth consecutive day
the man that calls
himself the Oak Fairy
remains perched and tied
to the oldest oak tree
in Central Park,
refusing to come down
until city officials
can bring him written proof
the tree will not be cut down.
No news yet
from Mayor Bloomberg's office.
We'll keep you posted
as the situation de--
Save the trees or die!
OAK FAIRY: Save the trees!
Save the trees!
I will not come down!
[crowd cheering,
whistles blowing ]
I'm the Oak Fairy,
and I have a message
for New York.
If I can do it here,
I can do it anywhere!
It's up to you,
New York, New York.
Come on, time to get
in your own bed.
OAK FAIRY: I have provisions
for five months,
and I have a device here that can turn
snow into drinking water.
I will not come down.
That's right!
[women chanting ]
- It's funny.
- What?
I always feel way more comfortable
having sex without the kids in bed.
- Me, too.
- It's crazy.
It's crazy.
- It's so weird.
- It's so weird.
Yeah, I know.
I don't know why.
Do all sorts of shit.
I know, they kind of
are in the way, right?
I know, I know.
[telephone rings]
Uh-oh.
- No, that's--
- No.
No, I need to take this.
- Oh, come on.
- It's probably my dad.
It is my dad. Oh!
- He's a big boy.
- Papa?
[ In French ]
No, I'm not out of breath.
No, we're six hours behind, Dad.
Okay, go back to bed.
Then have breakfast...
Sure, there'll be food.
- Oh, God.
- Don't call back.
I'm going to bed now.
Love you.
[ In English ]
Okay. He's already up.
- Okay-
- okay-
Maybe this is a little too much this week.
I mean, you got
your family coming to visit,
you got your exhibit,
you're selling your soul.
You're so sweet
to worry about me.
No, but really,
I want my dad to be here,
because it's very important for me.
It's my biggest exhibit in years.
I just want what's best for you.
You know what's best for me?
What's best for you?
I really want them to meet
my sweet, sweet little koala bear.
Who's my sweet little koala bear?
Is that what I have to say to get laid?
Yes, say it, say it!
If that's what I have to say,
yes, I'm your koala bear.
Yes. You know
what koala bears do?
They go up and down the trees,
you know, like--
[ laughs] No, no, but--
Oh, my God!
No, no, no.
No, no, it's a fur ball, sweetie.
MINGUS: No!
- No, I got to take care of that.
MINGUS: Oh!
Last time, Lulu ate it. I can't.
Plus, you're always going down
on me with the glasses.
It's weird.
MINGUS:
No, I was gonna take them off.
MARION, narrating:
Let me fill you in.
I met Mingus
through his sister, Elizabeth,
who's been my friend
ever since I moved to New York.
A few years ago,
Mingus and I
ended up working together
at The Village Voice.
I was up all night.
MARION: Lulu was about
eight months old,
and things had started
to get sort of messy with Jack.
Around that time, Mingus
became my confidant of sorts.
But what's gonna happen
to me if I leave him?
Hey, when things go bad,
I mean, it's best to just walk.
I walked twice, didn't regret it.
Yeah, but you're a man.
It's much easier for you.
Who's gonna want me, okay?
I'm gonna be 38, I'm fat,
I'm a pain in the ass.
- But you're French.
- I have a kid,
I'm struggling
with incontinence, okay?
Don't tell anyone.
- Shh, shh.
- I can't even sneeze,
but I'm doing
my exercise, okay?
I'm squeezing.
Like, right now, I'm squeezing.
I'm squeezing all the time,
everywhere I go.
When I'm taking pictures,
I'm squeezing all the time.
Like right now, I'm squeezing.
Squeezing, squeezing, squeezing,
squeezing, squeezing, squeezing.
Okay, I'm letting go.
Okay, I'm squeezing again.
Squeezing, squeezing.
I'm squeezing,
squeezing all the time.
Let's face it.
My love life is over.
- We haven't had sex in one year.
- A year?
He doesn't even want
a blowjob anymore.
- Get out of here!
- I thought it was my specialty.
Who is this guy?
I mean, you're fucked, man.
Just go pump-
I know, I gotta go. It hurts.
- Pump them.
- I gotta pump them.
Okay, I'll see you
at the photo shoot.
- Okay.
- I'm so sad.
[crying]
Oh, come on, Frenchie.
Frenchie, you're gonna be good.
- It's over.
- I've known you a while.
You'll bounce back.
You mean like a big ball?
Like a big beach ball.
[crying]
He hates me.
- No, no, no.
- He hates me, he hates me.
Come on, blow.
MARION, narrating: And the post-baby
big ball that I was
bounced right into his arms.
Was it pity, was it love,
was it my innocent comment
about blowjobs?
I'll never be sure.
All I know
is that six months later,
baby in hand,
I was moving in with Mingus,
and, so far, so good.
Actually, things
have never been better.
Delancey Street,
you know
The subway charms the soul
When balmy breezes blow
To and fro
RECORDED FEMALE VOICE:
Please do not leave any luggage...
- [ in French ] Is that the Paris flight?
- Oui.
- Is anyone left?
- Does it say "Air France" here?
ROSE: Marion!
- MARION: You're the last ones.
- ROSE: Dad's stuck in customs.
[tape ripping ]
[ In English ] Is that it?
Do I need to look
anywhere else, sir?
[ Chuckles ]
[squish ]
What the hell is this thing?
[taxi driver
speaking native language]
MARION: [ in French ]
Did you think 10 sausages and 8 cheeses
would go unnoticed?
Your dad was a hero!
- What's he doing here?
- He wanted to come.
- Are you together?
- We hang out.
- But, "together"?
- Yeah.
What a gorgeous city.
Makes me wanna write poetry again.
[ In English ]
Oh, New York, we made it, baby!
- We made it!
- Oh, oh, oh.
If we can make it here,
we can make it anywhere!
[Jeannot speaking French ]
[whimsical piano music]
[ In French ]
The elevator always gets stuck.
[ In English ]
Hey, look who's here!
- International sausage smugglers.
- Oh, Mingus!
Jean not! Jean not!
Pleased to meet you.
Kiss!
Kiss! One, two, three!
- Whoo whoo!
- [ In French ] In Brittany, you get three.
I never got three before.
- Uh, 9a va?
- Ouais.
[ In French ]
I brought a bunch of presents,
but Customs swiped them all.
[ In English ] He had so many presents
for us, sausages,
you know, as I told you.
Yeah, but they took it at Customs.
They took the sausages,
but they didn't take the smell,
so you're giving us something
right now. Whew.
Uh, and you must be
the famous sister, Rose.
Uh, yes.
Famous for what, please?
Uh, pleased to meet you.
Mwah, mwah.
Famous Rose.
And you are?
I'm Manu.
Super nice meeting you.
I'm Rose's boyfriend.
I used to be Marion's boyfriend,
but now I'm with Rose.
[ In French ] Why do you tell everyone
you're Marion's ex?
Sweet, sweet.
I got to make a call.
[ In French ]
It was in my last show.
So he won't think I'm just some stranger.
MARION: What's going on?
Where's my grandson?
- Out with his nanny.
- Let's go get him.
Don't you wanna rest first?
Where do I sleep?
On the couch for two days,
then in Lulu's room,
while Willow is at her mom's.
No privacy?
- Where am I supposed to jerk off?
- [ Manu laughs]
Dad, you're disgusting.
I'll put up screens
so you can jerk off in peace.
What about us?
Dad, no jerking off. Promise?
No, it's been years...
He might!
You were supposed to come alone
and sleep in the kids' room.
Now where do I put you and Manu?
Next to Dad.
You won't even see us.
Right, Manu?
No sweat. I have my sleeping bag.
I can sleep anywhere.
[ In English ]
I mean, don't sweat it, bro.
I can sleep anywhere.
I'm easy.
- Good for you.
- [ In French ] Let's go to the park.
ROSE: I need a shower.
MARION: Don't you want to shower, too?
I took a shower in Paris.
I'll freshen up at the sink tomorrow.
[in English] Hey, Ming,
you like Salt-N-Pepa?
You mean,
like seasoning on food?
No, I mean the rap--
the rap band.
You know,
"Let's talk about sex, baby.
Let's talk about you and me."
Anyway, it was
a big song in New York.
You must know that.
Twenty years ago.
Eh, maybe.
- Yeah.
- [ In French] I'll join Rose.
[ In English ] My dad, he doesn't
want to take a shower.
He thinks it depletes
the immune system.
[ Muttering ]
Depletes it? My God.
I know, he's gonna smell.
Does he know?
He smells now.
[shower running ]
Are you mad at me
for this guy coming?
I'm really sorry.
I had no idea
my sister would bring him.
Should I be mad?
It's just your ex camped out
in our living room.
What are you--
What are you--
- My ex? Did he say that?
- Yes, he said he's your ex.
He's crazy!
He's out of his mind!
He's totally delusional!
I mean, we fooled around
a hundred years ago.
- Oh, my God.
- But, listen, barely fooled around.
I've fooled around with you.
- You--you--you--
- No, listen.
You get serious
when you fool around.
Listen, he's mildly schizophrenic.
- He's like totally crazy.
- Mildly schizophrenic?
You can't be mildly schizophrenic.
What are you saying here?
He hears nice voices talking to him?
He would have killed Ringo
and not John?
Okay, listen. Do you like my dad?
That's way more important.
- I like him.
- Look how cute he is.
- He's very cute.
- Look at him.
We're so alike.
We're like twins.
- I know, I just want to fuck him right now.
- Oh, he's so cute.
Okay, I'm sorry about the guy.
- I'm sorry she brought him.
- No, we'll be all right, please.
It'll work out,
but I got to go to work.
Okay. Bye, sweetie.
[Jeannot, speaking French ]
- [ In French] Are we going?
- ROSE: Get out, Manu.
- We're waiting for Rose.
- Get out!
C'est bon.
[Jeannot, speaking French ]
She primps for hours. Let's go.
I'm coming.
- Rose, we're going, okay?
- ROSE: Okay!
To the playground.
You saw it, right?
[in English ] We go.
[speaking French ]
[ Phone ringing ]
Well, if you can find somebody
that'll do a funny show about Haiti,
then go and hire them,
'cause I'm not the guy.
Mingus, may I have a towel?
Hold on a second.
Towels, cabinet, bathroom.
The towels are in the cabinet?
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
the lower cabinet.
- Oh, okay.
- Okay, okay.
Well, who's gonna do it?
Well, uh--
I gotta call you back.
Yeah, yeah,
I gotta call you back.
Something just came up.
ROSE:
Mingus? You leaving? Wait!
That's my robe.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I couldn't find the towels.
Do you have a cup of tea?
I'm so cold.
Well, the kettle's over there.
I hear you take
really good care of Jack's kid.
Thank you,
from my father and I, thank you.
Lulu's my man.
I have so much admiration for you.
My God, raising the child
of another man?
You're so, um...
What is the word, um...
open-minded, yes?
Yeah, but I have my limits.
I gotta...
But the situation,
it must be difficult for Willow, no?
I gotta go, okay? Take care.
Bye, Mingus.
[laughs]
[ In French ]
That's Julia...
Lulu!
[in English]
My dad.
[ In French ]
Come to Grandpa!
- Look what I've got you!
- [trike bell rings]
- C'est quoi?
- Oh, Bonjour.
He's so beautiful!
He'll be as handsome as you were
when you were young.
MARION, narrating:
For once, Mann's right.
My father has always been
a very handsome man.
[military cadence plays]
He was born in Saigon, Vietnam,
a French colony at the time.
At 18, Jeannot was sent
to fight in Algeria,
but refused to kill
and was shipped back to France,
spending three years
cleaning the toilets
of 752 dirty soldiers,
or as he likes to put it,
seeing more shit than
any human being has ever seen.
Then Jeannot went to Paris,
where he met my mother, Anna,
during May 1968
on a Parisian barricade.
They immediately fell in love,
and for 40 years,
they stayed happy together
until fate separated them.
Why didn't I find someone
like my dad when I was 25,
someone I would have loved
all my life?
Maybe times have changed.
In the 1900s,
life expectancy used to be 45.
Now if you meet
the love of your life at 25,
you get to live with him
for the next 60 years.
That's a lot of sex
with the same person,
or no sex at all for 60 years.
[cell phone vibrating ]
Hey.
No, no, no,
what are you talking about?
I guess she needed a robe.
Yo, homes,
you're looking parched.
- Man, have you been sitting there all day...
- I'm right in the middle of it.
To come rolling out of the ocean
in day-glo bikinis?
All right, I'll talk to you later.
Love you.
MAN: Next time she sidles
up next to you
and whispers in your ear,
"Ay, papi, cola."
And we are back.
My, uh, girlfriend's family
just got in, fresh from Paris.
Well, not exactly fresh.
My father-in-law,
or girlfriend's father,
was detained at customs
for four hours
for trying to smuggle in
30 pounds of sausage.
We got people
trying to get bombs in
and cocaine.
He seems to think that there's
a sausage shortage in America.
Gotta hand it
to Homeland Security.
If you come in here with a sausage,
they will get you.
- [ In French] Like it?
- Mm.
- [ Hammer tapping]
- Nobody's fucking. It's weird.
It's about relationships fading over time,
- not about fucking.
- [ moaning ]
[ In English ] Especially this one,
The Vulnerability of Man.
But I'm very excited about the soul,
'cause we're gonna sell the soul
for $10,000.
MARION, narrating:
Oh, and I forgot to mention:
tomorrow at my gallery opening,
as an attempt to stand out
as an artist,
lam selling my soul.
ROSE: What?
MARION, narrating:
Yes, you've heard it right.
It is not a figure of speech.
Tomorrow,
I will sign this contract,
and it will be sold
as a conceptual piece.
You're selling Marion's soul
for $10,000?
It's gonna go like hot cakes.
Okay, I will talk to my sister
for one second.
You know, I am an artist, too,
and I'd love to show you a little...
[in French] - ls Mingus the one?
- The one? We'll see.
America's cool!
Can I sell my soul, too?
Ask your art dealer.
[in English] No, no.
That woman in freeze-frame,
and it kind of represents to me
like the eternal femininity,
you know?
- Mmm, yes.
- It's pretty French.
Very French, very French.
[ In French ]
Would they like an old man's soul?
- It's a conceptual piece.
- ls the cash conceptual, too?
[ In English ] 'Cause I'd love to do
a show in your gallery.
It's a teeny space,
but I could, you know, use it
and put my stuff in it.
I would do inst--
I wouldn't do like that.
I would do installation plus photos.
I would do--It would be a party
here, you know.
- We can talk about it.
- You love this one, right?
Yeah, oh, I love it, I love it.
People like that, you know.
The garbage one.
No, the one with the TV.
[ In French ] I'm the one who
supports you, you nut! It's my dough.
Who washes your stinky briefs, eh?
You wanna go sightseeing
or bicker all day?
[ In English ]
I bring everything at the show--
my photos, my sculptures.
I do stuff also in macram.
[ In French ]
I'm insulted, Dad.
- [ In English] I love this country.
- Yeah, yeah.
- All right, see you.
- Bonjour.
MARION: Bye, Susan.
See you tomorrow.
Bye-bye, Marion.
MARION: [ in French ]
We can't see all of New York.
[whimsical music]
- Ah. Oh, Willow.
- Hi.
[ In English ]
Oh, sweetie, you're home?
Yeah, I got off early
and picked up Willow.
- Oh, great.
- Hello, Mingus.
JEAN NOT: Salut, Mingus.
Willow, this is my family--
my dad, my sister, and a friend.
- Oh, it's beautiful.
- Thank you.
You're an artist just like me.
[ In French ] Hello, Miss.
Oh, how beautiful she is!
[ In English ]
You're a beautiful girl.
WILLOW: Thank you.
My dad says you don't speak English.
You can do sign language.
[speaking French ]
Lulu has chocolate in his hair.
Me?
[ Imitates airplane]
New York, New York! [ laughs]
My back hurts.
Go get a massage!
We know a great Thai place.
Thai?
[ In English ] Sweetie, do you think
you can book an appointment
at Thai Hands for my dad?
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we can go together.
I could use one myself.
You all clean?
T'es tout propre?
Hey, look at my KKK buddy.
Sweetie!
White power!
He should be proud
of his whiteness. Hello?
MANU: [in French]
Got any weed?
No, I don't have any weed.
[ In English ] Do you know where I can,
uh, score some good New York weed?
- I don't smoke, man.
- You don't smoke?
- No, I don't smoke.
- No shit.
MARION: Sweetie, don't forget
to call your sister about dinner tonight.
MINGUS:
Yeah, yeah, sure.
[in French] She found
the only non-smoking brother.
Here we go.
- Hey. How are you?
- Hey. I'm pretty good. How are you?
Nice to see you.
This is my father-in-law, Jeannot.
Nice to meet you.
Come on, come on.
Jeannot, so, um, man or a woman?
Woman.
Woman, okay.
A woman--that's good.
I usually take a man, but--
- Man?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
My back is really bad.
I mean, I need a massage.
Would you like it hard
or soft?
What?
You know what?
Just get him a woman
and a soft, you know--
- Sure.
- Something soft.
- Oop-la. Oop-la.
- Okay, okay, okay.
And then we steam.
We go steam.
- Sssss!
- Steam.
Steam--sssss!
- Steams.
- Yeah, yeah, it's relaxing.
You gotta take off
your hat, though.
Hat? No.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
just get the steam all over you.
Yeah, yeah,
just come on in here.
Enjoy the steam.
You just breathe it in and--
And, um, uh...
you breathe it in,
and it'll relax you.
It'll relax you.
- Ah.
- Very relaxing.
[ In French ]
It's hot in here!
I'm boiling. I'm no homard.
Omar? Omar?
Crab.
No, no, no, no, no crabs here.
This place is spotless.
We're in America.
You know, after the steam
we can, you know--
We put our underwear
back on and a robe,
and we go get
our massage--massage.
You, Marion--good?
Uh, yeah, we're good.
We're good.
You know, good good?
Jack sex.
Oh.
Oh, oh, that's--
You want details?
Uh, no,
you're not getting details.
Mingus sex--good.
Okay.
- Good sex Mingus.
- Good.
- [ Knock on glass]
- Jeannot, ready?
Yes, out.
Yes. Ooh!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Jeannot, Jeannot, Jeannot.
No, no, no, you--
You need your robe--
le robe!
- Oh!
- Jeannot, Jeannot, Jeannot.
Jean not, Jean not, Jean not.
Bon massage.
Oh, my God.
[ In French ] Dad seems better.
Since Mom's gone, he's not the same.
But Paris is kind of blurry
from the Empire State Building.
Don't say that. I can't leave.
Lulu needs his father.
I'm not judging you.
I understand.
[sniffling ]
- Rose, you're crying.
- It's the onions.
But those are potatoes.
- I love you.
- Dummy.
- [door buzzer blares]
- Oh!
That thing is so loud.
It's crazy.
I have to get them to fix it!
It's Elizabeth, Mingus' sister.
- [ In English] Hello?
- ELIZABETH: It's me!
[in French] I'll call them now.
[ In English ] No, not--
Not ad--
Not ad services.
No, repair.
Repair.
Repair!
- [door closes]
- Oh.
Yes, that's the right address.
Hey. I'm dealing
with this broken buzzer.
- Hi, Auntie!
- Hi, midget!
Hi, I'm Mingus' sister.
Nice to meet you.
First of all,
I would like to tell you
that your automated system
is not working properly, okay?
Well, don't--
Don't have an attitude.
Okay, fine, fine.
Okay, yeah, my name.
Okay, it's Dupree.
Dupree. Dupree.
"D" like dick,
"u" like uterus,
"p" like penis.
No, I'm not being rude.
I'm just spelling my name.
Okay, fine.
"D" like daisies,
"u" like unicorn,
"p" like paradise,
"r" like roses,
"e" like, uh...
estrogen. I'm sorry.
Well--Yeah, well, you have
an accent, too, I'm sorry.
No, okay. Don't get angry.
Okay, okay.
Are they coming tomorrow?
I need to know.
Thank you. I didn't mean to--
Yeah, thank you.
[Manu humming]
Thank you. Yes.
Hi, everyone!
[humming]
[speaking French ]
Look at that.
Up, up, Up.
Better, huh?
[ In Vietnamese]
Do you know any Vietnamese?
Uh...
Quick, quick! I'm dead!
Monkey! Furry balls!
[in English]
Oh, my God.
Oh, Mingus, sit down!
Come have tea with us.
VAN:
You know your father-in-law
was born in the same street as I was.
Jeannot, I had no idea
you spoke Thai.
- No, it's Vietnamese.
- Vietnamese.
Oh, Vietnamese, I'm sorry.
I just thought because of the sign.
It says Thai Massage.
We're all from Saigon.
Saigon. Shit, still in Saigon.
Apocalypse Now!
[ laughs]
[Jeannot speaking French ]
[ laughter]
MANU: [ in English ] It's cool you guys
understand each other.
[ In French ]
Out of mustard!
A full one, just for you.
Okay, merci.
Mingus, can you help me open this?
- Yeah, sure.
- No, no, no, no.
Let me show her something, okay?
[ In French ]
Look. Take a knife...
A little air, and it pops open.
Brains over brawn!
Thank you.
- You eat so slow.
- Well, I chew.
Anyway, I'm not hungry.
- You sure?
- It's the jet lag...
[ in English ]
She's not hungry.
JEANNOT: [in French]
This steak is tasteless!
Genetic beef!
Everything's genetic.
So are you!
JEANNOT: It's like shoe leather.
Tasteless.
Even shoe leather
can taste like something.
Depending on what you've stepped on.
[laughing]
MARION: I'll clear.
[ In English ] Did anybody tell you
that you look like Beyonc?
Beyonc?
A lot actually.
Really? That's a first.
Maybe just a little sexier.
Mmm.
Cheesecake?
So, Jeannot,
did you like your massage?
Who's the creep?
My sister's boyfriend.
[in French] Lulu doesn't talk much.
Does he know 100 words?
100 words? He talks nonstop.
Relax. Multilingual kids
often lag behind in speech.
I'm relaxed.
My son isn't lagging behind.
[ In French ] Are you happy
that Obama is president?
MANU: He says, you happy
with Obama, man?
Oh, I'm very happy
with Obama.
I mean, there's been
a couple of rough patches,
but, you know, just because
there's a black president
doesn't mean I can't get critical.
[ In French ]
Yeah, he likes Obama a lot.
Ah. [ laughs]
That's it?
[ Rose speaking French ]
ROSE: He's not very affectionate,
but Dad says you were a taciturn child too.
Taciturn? He's affectionate with us.
He's not a slut, like some people.
Just trying to help. Early treatment
is more effective, that's all.
It is my jab!
Radio?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, um...
I do a radio show,
but I also write articles
for The Voice.
As a matter of fact,
that's where I met Marion.
[ In French ] He's a lawyer at the radio.
That's how they met.
Doesn't he have a radio show?
[ In English ]
You have a show, too, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I have a few shows.
Two on Public Radio
and one on Sirius.
[ In French ] He's got the flu.
It may be serious.
It's the air system.
[speaking French ]
Air conditioning.
That's how you get sick.
You can get Legionnaire's Disease.
You can die!
[in English] Dead!
No good!
Air conditioning no good!
Yeah, but it's...
It comes in handy
in the summer.
True.
[ In French ]
He says "useful in the summer."
- That's true.
- [ Marion speaking French ]
My son's not autistic.
You still have huge anger issues.
Only when I see you!
Is everything okay?
Are you fighting?
- No, no.
- No.
[ In English ]
Man, you're so lucky to be black.
That's my only regret, you know.
'Cause I would have
been a cool black man.
I'm talking Miles or Prince,
but I'm Jewish, you know.
It's good, too.
It's almost the same.
We both been 'buked forever, right?
- Tough shit.
- 'Buked?
Oh, yeah, big time, bro.
Open your eyes.
Open your eyes.
- [ In French ] What was that?
- Just talking. We're buddies.
[in English] I can't.
- You been 'buked?
- I've been--apparently.
[ Rose speaking French ]
[ In French ] Fuck yourself,
and not my ex-lovers.
But, no, you want a dick
that was in my pussy.
- That's sick!
- You wanna be me.
Calm down, you harpies!
Or you'll both get a spanking!
[ In English ]
What's going on here?
I thought brothers and sisters
should love one another.
It is love, honey. It's just--
It's, um, crazy love.
[ In French ]
You're traumatized by what I said?!
You never accepted my birth!
- Oh! Oh! Oh!
- [ Rose continues in French ]
[ In French ]
Oh, my God!
[ In English ]
Don't worry, Ming.
[ In French ]
Like two cats in heat!
Are you listening to her?!
We're trying to have a serious
conversation here. Shit!
[ In English ]
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Shit.
- Can this thing calm down?
JEANNOT: [in French]
You're like cats and dogs.
This is really...bullshit.
[ In English ]
It's okay, sweetie, my Dad is--
[laughing]
Bad girl.
[speaking French ]
[ In French ] You have no self-control.
That's your problem.
What about your pussy control?
[ In English ]
Marion, can you stop this right now?
MARION:
I'm doing nothing wrong.
- What am I doing?
- Ming...
Don't bother. They're sisters.
They're always like that.
I know them forever.
I give her her first orgasm.
[door buzzer blares,
everyone screams]
MINGUS: What is that?
Why is it so loud?
- Both of them.
- Huh?
MARION: I'm sorry.
It's gonna be fixed, tomorrow.
Shit, I think it's for me, guys.
For you?
Who the hell's for him?
You got another sister
I don't know about?
- What's wrong?
- [ Jeannot moaning ]
[ Manu speaking French ]
I'm sorry.
She drives me crazy, okay?
Is there something I should know?
Actually, when she was a kid,
we thought she was really possessed,
like by the devil.
You know,
we were worried about her.
What the fuck's going on with you?
Okay, you know what she told me?
Lulu is autistic, okay?
Do you think that's acceptable?
She didn't say that.
You made the jump.
You make these jumps sometimes.
- Is Marion's dad okay?
- Yeah, he's fine.
No, I don't make jumps.
I never jump, okay?
'Cause we know Lulu's not autistic.
- He's smarter than your whole family.
- [door opens]
Who's that?
[ Manu speaking indistinctly ]
MAN: Of course, it's what I do.
It's my job.
MANU:
Yeah, let's take a look.
MAN:
Hey, everybody, how you doin'?
Who is that man?
He didn't.
No, he didn't!
[ Stomps feet ]
- So I'm looking for heady stuff.
- Okay.
- Super strong.
- Okay, I got four kinds.
I got blueberry...
- [ in French ] Is he a drug dealer?
- Really?
[ In English ]
No, wait, that's not right.
There you go.
- What is that man giving to Lulu's uncle?
- Nothing, nothing.
WILLOW:
But he just gave him a little bag.
It's grass from the park,
Central Park.
Why is he paying money
for grass from the park?
MINGUS:
Uh, because it's a souvenir
that he's planning
on taking back to France.
They don't have grass in France.
Uh, you know what? I think it's time
for you to go to bed, huh?.
- Good night, everybody.
- Yes, let's go, sweetie, come on.
Tell her about there's
no grass in France.
- I'm s--I'm sorry.
- Please.
- I know, I'm gonna...
- Deal with this right now.
- You don't want me to deal with it.
- I'm gonna handle it right now.
I'm gonna handle it right now.
- [ In French ] What the hell are you doing?
- What?
What are you doing?
- I'm not blind.
- It's for Rose.
[in English] Lulu's up.
He's asking for you.
[ In French ]
You woke Lulu up.
MANU: He's a light sleeper.
Buy your dope outside.
Mingus is furious.
It's dangerous! I'll get raped.
This is New York.
[in English ] Well, uh,
it don't happen again, Ming.
Don't happen again.
It don't?
It don't, ever.
- It better don't.
- It don't.
I'm serious. It don't.
[sighs]
[ In French ] In two days,
you can share Lulu's room.
Away from those jerks.
Why'd she bring Manu?
Oh, it's Jean-Luc!
Ooh... [continues in French ]
They're completely ignoring you
now that Lulu's around.
Papa.
Nobody loves you.
Of course we love him.
We're crazy about that cat.
Oh, Jean-Luc,
the days of Grandma Anna's foie gras
are long gone.
[ In English ]
Give me a kiss. Mwah.
What you got for me?
Yeah!
All right, guys, sleep tight.
Don't close the door.
I'm scared of Teddy.
Teddy who?
Ted Bundy, Dad.
Oh, he's dead with Hitler.
You don't have to worry about him.
Good grief.
Besides, serial killers
don't kill little girls.
- Good night.
- Good night, fake daddy.
Ohh...
I can't stand
that Willow's mother
doesn't monitor
what she watches on TV.
- All this fucking serial killer shit.
- I know.
By the way, Lulu called me
"fake daddy" again.
Oh, no!
I got to call Jack, you know.
I can't believe
he's still doing this.
[traffic noise, siren ]
[ In French ] This city's electric.
I wanna stay forever.
I feel uncomfortable...
the way Mingus looks at me.
I didn't notice.
There's this weird energy between us.
You think he cheats on Marion?
What are you talking about?
Mingus is cool. He's black.
I like him.
And his name rhymes with cunnilingus.
That's funny.
[ laughing ]
Love it! "Mingus--cunnilingus."
MANU: I'm really high!
How about a pizza?
ROSE: I'm starving!
[ In English ]
You know what, too?
She was walking
around naked today.
- What?
- Yeah, I was in my office.
She was just walking around naked.
Is that some kind of French thing?
Naked?
She was naked naked.
Naked naked...l mean.
God, I mean,
she's an exhibitionist,
and she used to be much worse.
She used to be a nympho,
but, you know, don't worry.
It's nothing personal.
She does it to everybody.
It's like a first contact.
It's to be like, you know,
like dogs sniffing each other's ass.
[bell dings]
[thud]
- Oh--Oh, my--
- What happened?
The bloody elevator,
it always does this.
Hang on one second. Um...
[ in French ]
Good thing we've got pizza.
Want some?
I'm freaked, we're stuck.
Still got that roach?
Of course.
[ In English ]
I'm sorry, you can't smoke in he--
Wait a minute. Is that a joint?
Yes, it's okay.
I'm a psychiatrist.
It's prescribed for my condition.
I, um...l suffer
from panic attacks.
Me, too. Big ones.
Oh, God.
MANU: [in French] Smoke up!
It'll turn into one big bong.
Let's get old bitch high.
[ laughs] Stop!
With that stick up her ass?
Pull it out and open the door!
[in French also]
Aren't you a little old for such silliness?
[ Both laughing ]
[ Kissing ]
[ In English ] Sweetie, I don't think I can
with my dad in the living room.
- [Jeannot snoring ]
- Hey, he's asleep.
Don't you hear him?
He's knocked out,
he's knocked out.
Okay.
[front door opens, closes ]
[Rose giggling]
Oh, um, they're back.
That's okay. That's okay.
They're gonna go to sleep.
Okay.
[ Rose and Manu whispering ]
They're--They're together
in the bathroom.
SQ?
[ Rhythmic bumping ]
[ Rose snickers ]
[ Bumping continues]
- No!
- Oh, my God.
- No!
- No, no!
Okay.
MARION: It stopped?
Well, I guess--
[electric toothbrush buzzing ]
Okay, now
they're brushing their teeth.
No, no, no,
that's my electric toothbrush.
That's not yours. It's probably theirs.
They brought it.
No, no, no, I know that one.
I know the sound.
That's my electric toothbrush.
[bumping]
MINGUS:
What's that?
They're brushing their teeth
while they're doing it, I guess?
No, no, no.
They're doing something
freaky with my toothbrush.
- No.
- My toothbrush is off-limits.
- Do something.
- I can't go in there.
- Go now!
- I can't go.
I can't see my sister
doing it, okay?
Oh, stop it.
It's your sister and your ex.
- You've seen them both naked.
- No, no, no!
- Go in there.
- I'm not going.
I'm not going in there.
I'm not going in there.
I'm supposed to go?
[ Manu moans]
[ buzzing stops]
Okay, they're done.
They're done now.
Okay.
I think they're done.
- [ Manu sobbing ]
- Yeah, they're done.
- All right.
- Okay, good night.
MINGUS: Good night.
Tomorrow, can you make it
a priority to find them a place?
MARION: Of course, sweetie.
[quietly moans]
[speaks French ]
Ah ha ha!
[moaning]
Mmm...[ eating loudly]
[Mingus moaning]
Mingus!
- I like you!
- [ knives scraping ]
I like you!
Mingus!
Nyuh nyuh nyuh
nyuh nyuh nyuh!
V h v uh ny uh'.!
[ growls ]
[Manu laughing]
[screaming ]
Sweetie, what is it?
I'm not a pig, I'm not a pig.
I know you're not a pig.
It's just--
It's just a bad dream.
- JEANNOT: Ha ha! Big chef cowboy!
- [ Lulu shrieks]
WILLOW: Good morning, Daddy.
ROSE:
Hi, Mingus, good morning.
[ Lulu shrieks]
Hey, Mingus.
How are you doing, man?
JEANNOT: [in French]
You lovers finally up?
We're hungry!
[in English] Food!
Yum yum yum yum...
Your family's hungry, and it's
making me nervous for some reason.
They're like a reverse
Waiting for Godot.
Wherever you look, there's always one
just lurking in the corner.
- I like it.
- It's nice.
[ In French ]
I gave the kids Corn Flakes.
But I hate that stuff.
I'll go out for croissants.
Chocolate croissant!
Thanks for the bathroom last night.
I told you!
- You didn't complain then.
JEANNOT: Look at your feet!
You're disgusting!
- MANU: Take it easy.
- You're both filthy pigs.
You're a real pain this morning!
[ Buzzing ]
Mm-hmm.
[ Muttering ]
[thuds in trash ]
JEANNOT: [in English]
Oh, Mingus, please, coffee.
Yeah, I'll get it. I'll get it.
Hey, I love your t-shirt, Mingus.
Me, too, Mingus.
- Good?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No American coffee, eh?
[ In French ]
No sock juice, please.
Uh, chaussette juice, no?
MINGUS:
Oh, sausage juice?
Please, no sausage juice.
It's bad for you.
You two wife?
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I was divorced twice.
Marriage, Marion--not good.
Marion... [exhales, hisses]
Uh, free.
Marion very free.
Easy Rider.
Oh, Easy Rider.
Rider, Rider, like, uh...
Yeah, I can see the resemblance
to Peter Fonda.
[laughing]
Good. Peter Fonda.
Very funny.
[laughing]
You understand my humour?
- You understand?
- Oh, yes.
Marion very much Peter Fonda.
[ Imitates motorcycle engine]
Okay. Okay.
- Is good, eh?
- Yeah.
Lucky me.
Lucky me?
I'm lucky--fortunate...
to be with your daughter.
It's a good thing.
What?
Um...
your daughter nice.
- Nice?
- Nice.
It means "snow"?
No, not night. Nice.
- Nice?
- Nice.
Very nice.
- Nice.
- Ah.
I like you, Mingus.
Good man.
[tickling sounds]
Uh, yeah.
[giggling]
[tickling sounds]
Mingus.
You you you
You you you.
[tickling sounds]
[laughs]
[tickling sounds]
Peter Fonda.
- Peter Fonda.
- Peter Fonda.
[tickling sounds, laughing ]
I'll get the coffee.
I'll get the coffee.
Ahem.
Do you happen to have
French family members visiting?
Yes, my dad and sister.
Yes, well,
your sister and some guy
were in the elevator
smoking pot.
And they were very rude.
I'm going to call
the landlord, you know.
With all the noise all the time,
we've had enough.
The whole building
complains about you.
Just because
my kids make too much noise?
I know it was your son
who spray-painted the mailbox.
What are you talking about?
He's not even 3.
I'm going to have you evicted.
Okay, fine.
I don't give a shit,
because I have nothing to lose.
I have a brain tumour.
What?
Stage IV.
I only have three months left.
That's why my family is visiting,
to say good-bye.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't know.
And now you know.
I only have three weeks left
before I go into a coma, bitch,
but maybe you can have me evicted
while I'm on my deathbed.
Is that what you want?
I am so sorry.
I had no idea.
Is there anything I can do?
My husband is a surgeon
at Lenox Hill, you know.
Thank you, but it's too late.
[ Door opens ]
MARION: [ in French ]
I got tons of croissants.
Oh, the croissants!
- Three each.
- Hey.
Wait! Leave some for Mingus!
And for the kids!
[all speaking and eating ]
- You're animals!
- MANU: Spitting all over.
MARION: You're impossible.
Rose? Manu?
BOTH: Yes?
Did you smoke pot
in the elevator?
- No.
- Are you sure?
Yeah.
My neighbor met French people
smoking pot in the elevator.
MANU:
Must have been other French people.
We had a rooftop view.
Why smoke in an elevator?
We're not kids.
MARION: Yes or no? Were you
smoking in the elevator?
No, Marion.
We're not perfect,
but we're not barbarians.
[ In English ]
I saved you a croissant.
- It was not easy.
- Thanks, thanks, thanks.
Everything okay?
Yeah, everything's okay,
but I had a fight with that neighbor again.
In the elevator,
she attacked me.
I had to--Made up some story
to get out of it.
I mean, it was, like, horrible.
What was she mad about?
The--The mailboxes again,
believe it or not.
Well, maybe you shouldn't
have let Lulu paint them.
It was an art project.
And on top of it,
I remind you,
it was Willow's idea.
Oh, so now it's Willow's fault?
I'm not saying it's Willow's fault.
You just said it's Willow's fault.
No, I'm saying it was her idea, okay?
And she has a lot of ideas like that,
like doing funny things all the time.
- She's a kid.
- It's okay. It's a nice project.
It was nice. It's pretty.
I have no problem with it.
But she has a dark side.
She's always having crazy ideas.
Dark? She's dark now?
Come on, admit it.
She's got a dark side.
And I believe she's gonna
end up being Goth.
I mean, she's borderline Goth.
Like a little black Goth girl?
Yeah, maybe
she'll be the first black Goth girl.
I'm sorry, it probably
has a lot to do with how fucked up
your relationship
with your ex-wife was.
Wait, wait, wait,
how did we get there?
I mean, you act like
you and Jack were just perfect.
- Okay.
- I mean, you want to go back to Jack?
That's what you want?
You want the fighting and the bickering?
That's what you want?
- You want me to call him?
- Who's the bickerer now?
- Oh, really?
- Okay, keep it down.
I don't want
to fight in front of them.
Don't want to fight?
You come over here and fight.
I love her to death.
I'm just saying
she has a few issues.
It's great. Maybe she'll be
the next Francis Bacon.
You recognize yourself
that she's always watching
those fucking death shows
and all that shit.
Look who's--Issues?
Who's got issues?
[ In French ] May I borrow a dress?
I love your style.
I guess so.
[in English] I'd like to show you
some American toys,
so next time you come,
you can bring me some.
[ Urinating ]
Negative.
Marion?
[ Rose speaking French ]
[in French] Coming!
She's such a pain.
What is it?
Can I borrow this dress tonight?
I love it.
If you want.
It's two sizes too big,
but with a belt...
- Thanks.
- [ knock on door]
- Mwah.
- Ugh.
ROSE: Merci!
- [ In English ] Who is it?
- No idea.
Hi. I'm Ron.
I'm Bella's husband.
She asked me to come by.
I'm Mingus. Bella? Why?
For your girlfriend, to see
if there's anything I could do to help.
With her condition.
Condition?
I have some very good oncologist
friends at Sloan-Kettering.
It's always good
to get a second opinion.
A brain tumor
is not necessarily fatal.
- A brain tumor?
- Yeah.
A brain tumor?
A brain tumor?
Honey, honey, you have a brain tumor?
Oh, my God, no!
I'm sorry.
You didn't know?
I didn't know.
I suspected something was wrong.
I mean, all the yelling
and screaming and bickering,
and her inability to make
a decision about anything,
and the forgetfulness
and the flatulence, but--
You didn't tell me.
You were protecting me?
Just hiding it,
just so I wouldn't be hurt?
You're an amazing woman.
And now the limping,
the limping.
I had to. I had to keep it
from you and the children.
MINGUS: I'm so lucky.
God, you're so amazing.
I'm sorry, honey.
Oh, hello.
- Partial paralysis?
- Yes.
MINGUS:
It's partial. It comes and goes.
It comes and goes.
Oh, I feel so sick.
Do you have a CAT scan?
I could look at it,
see if I could locate the tumor.
No, no, they're at the hospital.
I'm sorry, sweetie.
- Sloan-Kettering?
- No, in Paris.
Don't they CAT-scan you regularly
to monitor the growth?
Uh-uh, they don't, because I don't have
health insurance, and...
- You don't?
- And there's no hope anyway.
- I don't have health insurance, sweetie.
- Okay. Oh.
You know,
I can call your friends.
- Second opinion's a good idea.
- Yes.
- But right now, I feel really weak.
- Oh.
- And we need to talk.
- Of course.
Thank you so much.
- I need to relax and talk to him.
- You know what, Ron?
Why don't you have
some coffee with us?
No, no.
No, we have a lot of--
Ron, why don't you
come in for some coffee?
My hand--It's back.
It's coming back.
Ron, Ron, would you
like some coffee?
- Uh...
- No.
MINGUS: Yeah, yeah, come sit with us,
have some coffee.
We need to talk,
sweetie, remember?
Yes, yes, we can have
our cancer talk.
But, Ron, would you like
some coffee?
I'd love some.
Great, great, great.
Just come this way.
- Right this way.
- But I have a brain tumor, sweetie.
- Yes, yes, we'll--
- [whispers] What are you doing?
Oh.
Oh. Hello. I'm Rose.
- Oh.
- Like a rose.
I'm Ron, like, um...
Yeah, time--
Coffee's over here, Ron.
Ron.
Hi, man. I'm Manu.
Super nice meeting you.
- So nice your family's here for support.
- I know.
They're very supportive.
MINGUS: You know what?
You do have a CAT scan, remember?
MARION:
No, I don't.
About a month ago,
you slipped in the tub,
and you insisted
that we have a CAT scan done,
even though
you never hit your head.
It was before the tumor grew.
I know where it is.
Just sit tight.
I left them at the hospital.
RON:
Do you have any kind of fever?
- Just a terrible headache.
- Here, follow my finger.
Follow my finger
just with your eyes.
Don't turn your head.
Got your CAT scan.
Let me take a quick--
Uh-huh.
Uh...huh.
Uh-huh.
MARION: Sweetie,
I should have told you.
MINGUS: I can't lose you.
I can't lose you.
I don't really see
anything at all.
What about this here?
- No, that's, uh...
- Those holes, yeah.
That's--That's actually normal.
If you didn't have these holes,
you'd be severely retarded.
MINGUS:
They are pretty small.
Oh, this is interesting.
Is it bad?
Oh, actually, nothing.
I'm a urologist
- Oh.
- Ron, are you okay?
MINGUS:
Well, just keep them.
No. No, no, no.
We're keeping them.
It's, you know--
I need to keep them.
Why not?
Why can't he keep them?
Because I'm attached to those.
That was before I was sick.
I want to keep them healthy,
the healthy pictures of me.
You know what?
You should come to Marion's show.
It's tonight
at the Susan Kellner Gallery.
Will the whole family
be attending?
- Yeah, the whole family will be there.
- Thank you for coming.
MARION:
Okay, I need to rest now.
Bye.
Can we get these, please? Okay.
- Insane behavior.
- Bye.
- I thought it was--
- Nice to meet you.
You are so fucking unsupportive!
I had to make up that lie
because of the bitch.
You know what?
She was gonna call the landlord on us.
Why did you do this to me?
A fucking brain tumor?
A tumor?
MARION: So what?
You know what?
I might have
a brain tumor, you know,
because I always have headaches,
and I'm throwing up all the time.
You know what?
I could have a brain tumor.
Do you have to fake your death
for us to keep the apartment?
What's gonna happen?
[ In French ]
Rose! Cover your ass!
You're walking around naked
and I'm fucking sick of it!
Are you lovebirds fighting?
[ In English ] I get it. I get it.
- What is wrong with you?
- WILLOW: Marion, Lulu stinks.
[sighs]
[ In French ]
Sweetheart, stop moving.
What a nice doo-doo!
- Here.
- Give it to Dad.
- Are you nuts?
- It disgusts me.
I'm not into shit.
Sweetie, everything's fine.
Marion, don't get mad,
but I thought he'd be a little bigger.
- Jack was well hung, no?
- His doctor never said a thing.
A micropenis
often goes undiagnosed.
What is this bullshit?
Maybe it's just small.
Let's measure it.
He has a very nice weenie.
Like his grandpa.
- A little weenie will get big!
- It's to measure furniture.
Okay.
What do we do?
Push away the fat
so we see the length.
Don't hurt him.
Quit cheating, Marion.
- You're pulling the foreskin.
- Stop torturing him!
Not bad.
Look at that thing! It's enormous!
Sure, it's huge!
[ Both laughing ]
[speaking French ]
Your son peed on me!
JEANNOT:
I'd have done the same.
[ In English ]
I'm taking them with me to yoga.
They want to see my gym.
It's okay if we all come for lunch?
You're sure?
MINGUS:
Yeah, it's okay.
They want to come uptown
and go to the park after.
- Okay.
- Bye.
I love you.
- And they are gone.
- [door closes]
MARION: [ in French ] Dad, promise
you won't fart in my yoga class.
JEANNOT:
Ah, no, no, no.
You're coming, right?
Let's go.
- Rose! Don't you have a bra?
- No, I have a tank top. It's fine.
But we do handstands!
I'm flat-chested.
You're so American.
We saw some great machines upstairs.
- I'll take care of him.
- They have great smoothies, too.
He has no idea what a smoothie is.
Whatever!
[whimsical music]
[weights clang loudly]
[in English] Uh, Mingus.
Mingus, yes.
Okay, I'll give it a sh--
I don't know.
No, I'm from Brooklyn.
Well, I'm originally from--
No, no, no.
See, when people hear "Brooklyn,"
they think, "Oh, he's tough."
No, I'm from Park Slope,
from the punky,
bitch side of Brooklyn.
Are you sure I can call you that?
Barack.
You--Hawaii, that's right.
That's right.
So when you were a kid
and you got mad at people,
did you go,
"Yeah, I'm from Hawaii.
"Don't fuck with me.
I'm from Hawaii."
You can't say that, right?
Yeah, it's
the same as Park Slope.
Did the gangs
throw coconuts? I mean...
Oh, don't--don't--
don't get sensitive.
Yes, I'm sure Hawaii was rough.
I believe you.
There was rocks in your sand.
You write, too?
I'm sure they would love to put
one of your articles in The Voice.
What do you write about?
Plants?
YOGA INSTRUCTOR:
Gazing towards the sky.
[soft music playing ]
[all breathing deeply]
And one more.
[snaps fingers]
YOGA INSTRUCTOR:
Coming back the way we came.
Bending the knee.
Hands come up.
Exhale, hands to heart center.
Deep breath in. Rise.
Turn to face the front.
Fingers come down.
Foot comes back.
And let's press right back
into down dog.
Deep breath in and out.
- Rose.
- Quoi?
YOGA INSTRUCTOR:
Two.
MARION: [ in French ]
Was it good?
A piece of shit on bread for 20 Euros?
That's pricey.
It's dollars, Dad.
Dollars are worth nothing.
Plus service and a tip.
In France, the tips, included.
Here, your tip is based
on the quality of the service.
JEANNOT: That's why they're so nice.
To make more dough!
You prefer Parisian waiters,
who bitch and throw coffee in your face?
[ In English ]
What are you eating, Mingus?
[ Rose laughing ]
It's a frittata.
I guess it's a funny frittata, huh?
How is your midday wine, Jeannot?
- [ In French ] What's so funny?
- It's just a private joke.
JEANNOT: [in English]
Good wine, French wine--Bordeaux.
Hey. Hey, what are you
doing here, man?
I thought we lost you
to Washington.
I'm in town
doing a radio interview.
Okay, okay. Hey, Justin,
I want you to meet
my girlfriend Marion.
Oh. Oh, Justin, so nice
to finally meet you.
JUSTIN:
Nice to meet you.
And this is her family--
Jeannot
[ in French ] Delighted!
- [ In English] Rose...
- Hello.
And Rose's boyfriend, Manu.
- I'm Manu.
- Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
Hey, you know what?
I'm doing my radio show in about an hour.
Why don't you come
and be on the air?
I'm catching the 4:20 to D.C.
[ in French ]
I think he works for Obama now.
[speaking French ]
[ In English ] Oh, actually I meant to call you
about Barack's visit to N.Y.
To have him on my show?
Oh.
- Slow down there.
- Okay, okay.
No, no, no, but he's doing
a press conference,
and I think I can get you in.
- Get out of here.
- Oh!
- No!
- Yeah.
MARION:
Oh, sweetie, that's so great.
- This is wonderful.
- Is it true?
[ In French ]
Mingus is gonna interview Obama.
- JEANNOT: [ in English] Good, Obama!
- Thanks.
ROSE:
He's so good-looking.
So much better-looking
than Sarkozy.
- Sorry.
- I love him.
- Obama, socialist! Yeah!
- No, Dad.
- Not really a socialist.
- JEANNOT: No?
If I may say so,
you did a fucking great job
in Harold & Kumar
Go to White Castle.
That was, like, totally hysterical.
- MARION: Manu!
- It was so fucking funny.
That's not him.
- Would you sit down?
- It's okay.
Justin, one thing.
I did not think that Obama,
he deserved to win
the Nobel Peace Prize.
Do you agree or no?
- [ In French ] Rose, shut up.
- Just asking.
[ In English ]
I'm sorry, Justin, okay?
She doesn't know
what she's talking about.
- It's okay. It's okay.
- I do.
It's a free country.
Everyone's entitled
to their own opinion.
- Thank you.
- Hey, hey, hey,
I'm sorry about that.
[ In French ] Can't you keep quiet?
[in English] I just met them.
[ In French ]
Always with your dumb-ass ideas.
[ In English ] Girlfriend's family's
coming for the weekend.
[ In French ]
The guy works for Obama, you slut!
MARION: Whore!
[ In English ]
It's crazy. It's crazy.
[ In French ]
You bitch!
JEAN NOT: Stop, girls!
- Cunt!
- You whore!
[in English ] What the fuck?
I don't know what happened.
It's crazy, I know.
- She's not normally like this.
- Good.
I mean, really.
[ Both shouting in French ]
Um...
- [ in French] Stop!
- You harpies!
[ In English ] So, I gotta catch my train.
[ In French ]
You're a pest.
- [ In English ] You know how it is.
- Crazy.
- I'm sorry.
- I gotta catch my train.
You're gonna call me
about this interview, right?
Yeah. I should really get going.
- All right.
- It's great to see you.
I'm gonna be waiting by the phone.
- I'm on Facebook.
- JUSTIN: Mm-hmm.
Bye, Kumar.
It's not fucking Kumar.
Can I talk to you for a minute?
Okay.
MINGUS: I want 'em out.
- What?
- I want 'em out.
No. Okay, you want them out?
Yes, I agree, they're out.
My sister is out.
She's out of her mind.
She's crazy.
I don't want to see her anymore.
And this guy--they're out.
You don't hear me.
They all gotta go.
What do you mean?
Even my dad?
Even your dad.
Yes, your dad.
He came all the way from Paris.
He hates flying.
He came to see me and Lulu.
He can't go.
Hey, hey, how could you
argue with your sister right there?
I'm supposed to meet
the next black president?
Hey, what was I supposed to do,
let her kill me right on the spot?
- Yes!
- I mean, I was about to--
No! I don't want
to make you look bad.
I mean, I'm always
a supportive girlfriend.
I always support you
in every possible way.
What the fuck?
Every time somebody comes
from one of your jobs,
I'm like, "Hey, how are you doing?
Nice to meet you."
Let's compromise, okay?
Relationships are about compromise.
You always say that.
Manu and my sister,
- they can, like, fuck themselves...
- Bye-bye.
Everywhere in New York.
Okay, but my dad stays.
Please, I can't put him in a hotel.
He's gonna have a breakdown.
He's gonna die.
Please, my dad. Just my dad.
All right, your dad can stay, okay?
Thank you.
MANU: [in French]
Something fishy's going on.
JEANNOT:
He works too much.
Now look at that disgusting car.
Must be a real gas-guzzler.
Go for it, Jeannot.
[ Key scraping ]
[laughing]
Didn't damage your keys, did you?
I'm so sorry.
[Jeannot and Manu snickering ]
Yeah, it'll be fine.
- Bye, Ming.
- See you later.
- [ In French ] I'm really sorry, Marion.
- [speaking French ]
Forgive me.
Now I have to find
you and Manu a hotel.
It's all Mann's fault.
He's such a pain!
[cell phone dings]
The nanny called four times!
What's up?
I don't know!
I'll call her right away.
[ In English ]
So, what?
You can't make it tonight?
All right,
I'll come pick them up then.
[ In French ]
Go to Central Park, then come home.
Don't worry. I know where it is.
- ROSE: Bye.
- Taxi!
Taxi!
[ In English ]
All right, we're back.
Sir, can you turn it up?
It's my boyfriend on the radio.
- MINGUS: You know...
- Thank you.
When I used to think of the French,
I used to think of Godard,
Renoir, the Surrealists.
But now when I think
of the French,
I think of freaky sex
with electric toothbrushes.
Don't ask. Don't ask. They're killing me.
Oh, we got a call.
Cynthia from Williamsburg.
How's it going, Cynthia?
CYNTHIA: Hey, I just want to say
I love your show, baby.
I love it so much that my boyfriend
is getting kind of jealous.
Okay, baby.
- Can you turn that up a little more?
- MINGUS: So any thoughts, Cynthia?
CYNTHIA: Oh, you really want
to know my thoughts?
I don't know,
maybe not live on the radio.
MINGUS:
Some, um, x-rated thoughts, huh?
CYNTHIA:
Mmm, always when I think of you, baby.
Nice to know somebody's
thinking x-rated of me.
CYNTHIA: [chuckles]
I was kind of sad to find out
that you have
a nice little French girlfriend.
Sad that you're sad, but yes.
- Bitch.
- MINGUS: That's how it is.
So, Cynthia, do you have
anything you want to share,
any political views?
CYNTHIA: No, but if you ever
need a pair of free jeans,
just pop into The Gap--
you know,
the one on Columbus--
and ask for Cynthia.
MINGUS: Oh, okay.
You know what?
I just might do that.
- Yeah.
- I need some jeans.
I need some jeans.
I'm not gonna tell you when...
- Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.
- MINGUS: but it just might happen.
All right, time for the news.
- See you later, Cynthia.
- [ screaming]
The protester known as the Oak Fairy
has fallen from his tree in Central Park.
No, he could not fly,
as many of his supporters believed.
He is in stable condition
with a broken foot,
and we expect a statement soon.
WILLOW:
Look, Marion, I have some grass.
Nobody knows
it's not from Central Park.
What's happening with the costumes?
The teacher said they asked for blood,
and Lulu is a dead bunny.
Guys, no dead anything.
But I like being a dead princess.
Okay, I know you love the dead,
the vampires and stuff,
but being dead is not cool.
- Dead people rot, right?
- Yes.
Yes, and vampires--
I know a bunch of cute guys
play them in movies,
but I promise you,
it's not cool, okay?
You know what comes out
of a Vampire's tush?
Rotten digested blood.
Eww.
Eww, yeah, exactly.
So you don't want to be a dead person,
sweetie, okay?
Because death
is very sad and lonely.
And one day, you're gonna see
your papa die,
and you're gonna be very, very sad.
All right? So what's cool
is to be alive and happy, okay?
- Okay?
- Yeah.
So let's go home and clean this up.
Okay? No dead anything.
- Uh, Miss Marion.
- Yes?
I don't think you should do it.
- What?
- Uh, sell your soul.
Oh, it's okay, Julia. It's fine.
No, but suppose the person
who buys it is a really bad man,
you know, like el diablo .
[praying in Spanish]
My gallerist promised me she's
not gonna sell my soul to the devil,
just a rich motherfucker.
And, remember,
I need some money to pay you.
Okay, say no more.
We are all
under economic pressure.
- I understand.
- Okay.
- Okay? Bye.
- Bye.
- Good luck with your uncle.
- Thank you.
[ Door opens ]
MARION: [ in French ]
Dad, how's it going?
I'm making crepes.
LULU: Meow meow meow.
What happened to the kids?
- Wah! Wah!
- I have to clean them up.
Who are these bloody monsters?
- [ Knock on door]
- [ in English] Come in.
Please don't use
my family in your show.
Oh, come on, I was being nice
and respectful, all things considered.
You use your ex-boyfriends
in your show.
That's totally different.
[ In French ]
Want some wine?
[ In English ]
Are you an alcoholic?
It was fun.
There's a pair of jeans
for your skinny black ass, okay?
I'm saving you a trip to The Gap.
I was never gonna call that girl up.
I was never going by The Gap,
but thanks for the jeans.
- Okay, you're welcome.
- Appreciate it.
You know,
I have to find a dress,
and I think I still have hives,
right, from the yoga?
No, no, no hives, no hives,
but your boobs have been
getting a little bigger.
Really? I know, they hurt.
- They hurt right now.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know
why they've been hurting.
Keep doing that.
Keep doing that.
- What?
- Oh, I like that. I like that.
Just like that.
You know what? Why don't you
send your dad with the kids
to the park, give us a little time?
You would let our kids with my dad,
who you were about to evict,
just to get some?
Hell, yeah.
- Well, let me talk to him.
- [zips up jacket]
Mm-mmm, Mm-mmm.
No, no, no.
I'm gonna talk to my dad first, okay?
Okay, Okay-
JEANNOT: [in French]
Who wants another crepe?
Papa? Wanna take the kids
to a Halloween party in the park?
[speaking French ]
They say it'll be fabulous!
- [door buzzer blares]
- Oh, non!
The repairman's coming today.
I hope that's him.
- [ In English] Hello?
- ROSE: [in French] It's me.
I found them a great hotel.
Cheap! They'll be in peace.
We'll be in peace.
Oh, Manu rolled a joint
in front of the police station.
I let Rose handle it.
He rolled a joint in front
of the police station?
[laughs]
- So?
[Speaking French]
They're sending him back tonight.
He can't even come back for his stuff.
- Wow! Are you okay?
- Fine.
I'll see him in 10 days.
It's no big deal.
[speaking French ]
Now we don't need a hotel.
I won't bother anyone.
I'm going out with the kids.
Wanna come?
Let me take a little wee-wee.
Then I'm all yours.
A little wee-wee?
Did she just get rid of Manu?
ROSE: Marion, will there be lots of guys
at your opening tonight?
You're sure she's not adopted?
I can't believe we have the same genes!
[ In English ]
Okay, kids!
- Kids, we're going to the Halloween fair.
- LULU: Halloween fair?
And you know who you're going with?
Auntie and Grandpa.
ALL: Bye!
ROSE". Au revoir.
- [ In English] Bye, Mingus.
- Take care. Take care.
Have fun.
Sweetie, Manu has been
deported back to Paris.
You'll never have
to see him again ever.
Whoa. [ laughs 1
How did you do that?
Tomorrow--Rose.
You really love me.
- Mm-hmm.
- I love you, too.
[laughs]
Come here.
- [door buzzer blares]
- Oh!
They forgot something.
[ In French ]
What's up?
MAN: [in English]
I'm here to fix the buzzer.
- The buzzer.
- The buzzer.
- Sweetie.
- Okay, here, let me get it.
Uh, could you come back
a little later?
MAN:
We're backed up right now.
Won't be possible
for another two weeks at least.
Oh, no, no,
we can't wait two weeks.
Sweetie, it wakes up
the kids every time.
- Uh, okay, I got it. I got it.
- Please.
MINGUS: Right here.
This system hasn't been updated
since the Prohibition.
Okay, how long is it gonna take,
you think?
About two hours, maybe three.
- Really?
- You don't want me to do it?
I just have a great party to attend.
No, no, it's okay. Just do it.
Just do it. It's fine, it's fine.
Looks like my services
are no longer needed here, so...
Okay, and I'm gonna go early,
so I can check
everything's all right.
Are you gonna be okay
bringing everyone?
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay.
Bye.
Hey, can I have
something to drink?
Yeah. What do you want?
Chai latte, low-fat milk,
one sugar.
Okay.
[ Rock music playing ]
I hope it sells.
Those prints cost me a fortune.
I hope so, too.
Otherwise this place
is gonna become
a Banana Republic in no time.
Listen, the good news is
I think we've got a taker for the soul.
- Really?
- Yes.
- Who is it?
- Anonymous party.
- Anonymous?
- Anonymous party.
- Did they make a check?
- A direct deposit.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
- We're here.
- Everything okay?
How are you, Mingus?
Nice to see you.
I fucked up
and left the diaper bag in the taxi.
Oh, no.
Would your dad ever key a car?
Of course not.
That's impossible.
MINGUS: Well, there's
an angry limo driver outside
that wants to press charges.
Well, that's--Really?
Well, I'll deal with it later.
[ In French ] Dad, stay here.
Lulu, let's go to the buffet.
[speaking French ]
[ In English ]
Oh, thank you so much for coming.
We'll take any occasion
to see our granddaughter.
- Hello, Willow darling.
- Hi, Grandma. Hi, Grandpa.
MARION:
Thank you for coming.
[ In French ]
Crab sticks!
Dad, that's cheese.
[in English] Uh, Jeannot,
my parents, Carol and Lee.
Mingus' family.
We're family! We kiss, right?
Kiss.
MINGUS: You gotta kiss him
or he gets mad.
That's my mother.
No tongue.
Kiss, Lee.
You know, actually you guys
have a lot in common.
You were both
very involved n the '60s.
Huh?
[ In French ] They were civil rights activists.
They fought for Afro-American rights.
[ In English ] I love "Last Poets."
No way.
They were friends of ours.
LEE: Good, good.
Okay, um, shall we look
at the pictures?
It's going well, no?
I think so. It's crazy.
[ In French ] Can we talk?
Your friend Brad is really cute.
But he's gay.
- "Gay" gay or...?
- Gay GAY!
Come meet Mingus' parents.
[ In English ] Hello. I'm Rose.
There's somebody important
I need you to meet. Come here.
So, you know,
I'm a psychologist, too,
but my specialty is that
I work with children.
Are you familiar
with the work of Frangoise Dolto?
Oh, my God, I wrote my dissertation
on Dolto at the Sorbonne.
[ In French ] Dad, they know Dolto!
- [ In English ] What sign are you?
- I'm fish.
Pisces--insightful,
sensitive to the plights of others.
Oh, my God, so much.
You know, I go to the buffet now
to get something to drink.
Could I--
Do you want something?
I'd love a glass of white wine.
- Lee?
- Two.
- [ In French ] Red wine.
- And a little cheese, because...Q
- [ in English] Ohh. It's good, huh?
- CAROL: Yeah, yeah.
Her sister's lovely.
It's hard to believe
she's Marion's sister.
Could you back off?
This is her night.
Well, clearly, she's been very busy
with her nights.
It's over 10 years of pictures.
Carol, Lee, come here.
[ Iaughing ]
It's funny.
Marion is funny!
S & M...
[laughs]
- It's going good, no?
- No, no, no, no.
No, it's not going good.
It's not going good.
- I can't sell a thing. Nothing has sold.
- What?
I think, what with the subject matter
and the setup,
people were expecting something
a little sexier--
something, I don't know.
Sexier?
But I never sleep naked.
Who does?
Do you sleep naked?
No. Oh, this is good.
No, no, no, John Kelly's here.
I need you to go talk to him.
- The John Kelly?
- Yes.
Oh, my God,
he can be so vicious.
I know. Exactly.
That's why I need you
to bring your A-game.
[ Marion exhales]
I think...
Yes?
I like it.
[ Chuckles ]
Great, thanks. Thank you.
So why did you use
yourself as a subject?
Well, I know myself pretty well,
first of all.
And then I thought
through a study of a microcosm,
I could start
to understand others.
So you're saying
you're universal then?
No, I wouldn't say--
I wouldn't say I'm universal.
You're not writing that, are you?
It's so pretentious.
Please don't write that.
No, what I'm saying is that I'm probably
just shy to approach strangers.
And I was
genuinely interested in seeing
how a relationship
evolves through time.
That's--
So you're trying
to place your work
in the same realm as people
like Cindy Sherman
and Nan Goldin, Sophie Calle?
Well, they're amazing.
I wouldn't...
Amazing.
Amazing. Brilliant.
This is--
This is so cute.
I like the theme.
Great.
More than the execution.
Okay.
These photos are sort of, um...
mundane.
Mundane?
They're mundane,
but at the same time,
they're pretty.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Okay, that's not bad.
It was nice meeting you.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for coming.
I'm happy you enjoyed the show.
No, it's okay.
If you hate the show,
you can say it. It's fine.
I can take it. Totally fine.
I'm not, you know,
those kind of people
that can't take criticism.
But you know what? What's good is
for the truth to come out.
And, you know,
you could just say it--
you hate it. You hate my show.
And you know what?
It's okay, because, actually,
I want to tell you something.
Everyone hates you.
In the art world,
everyone hates you.
Even outside of the art world,
everyone hates you,
because, you know what?
You're an asshole, okay?
- Everyone?
- And if I didn't have a kid,
I would snap your fucking neck.
And if I could, I would take
every single of those pictures
- and shove it up your ass.
- Hey, is everything okay here?
- Yeah, oh!
- Okay, thank you.
This is so good.
- All right.
- I'll take care of it.
I think it's all part of this--
like it almost becomes
performance at this stage.
She's insane.
Oh.
And that's part of the whole thing.
- Bye.
- Okay.
Text me.
[speaking Italian ]
WILLOW: [ in English ] Miss?
- Ciao.
- Where are you from?
From Rome, in Italy.
I have some grass
from Central Park.
Do you want to bring some
back to your country?
It's only 20 bucks.
Excuse me.
No, thank you.
Where are your parents?
MINGUS: Excuse me.
Is she bothering you?
No. You are the father?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Willow, what are you doing?
They're from Europe
like Lulu's uncle.
They want some grass
to bring back home.
Could you excuse us?
It's not what you think.
I'm raising money so we can have
more bunnies at school.
I'll get you bunnies, okay?
I'll get you all the bunnies you want.
It's a school project.
[speaking Italian ]
Look at this.
School project.
[ In Italian ] It's the end of the world.
A little girl in a fairy costume,
who deals drugs!
[ In English ] Are you sure you don't have
a battery charger?
You know, the cord thing?
- Where have you been?
- I was here. I'm dealing with--
I just found the kids
trying to sell grass
from Central Park
to some Italian lady.
Well, So? I'm running out of battery.
You haven't got--
Hey, fuck the battery, okay?
Do you understand
that I told the court
that I would provide a life
filled with love,
laughter, and fluffy animals?
What do you think's
gonna happen when they find out
she's imitating drug dealers
that your ex invited into our home?
Okay, I'm sorry. The guy is
on an airplane right now, okay?
So there's nothing else I can do.
Sweetie, this whole evening is turning
into a horrible disaster for me.
I've sold nothing at all--
nothing. It's over.
Marion, I need you.
- She's busy.
- I have to go.
I have to go, sweetie.
God.
Very exciting announcement
to make.
- Nothing sold?
- Just the soul.
- Come on.
- [ rings bell]
SUSAN: Everyone, please step up.
Step up. Thank you.
I have a very exciting
announcement to make.
Tonight, we have sold
the soul of Marion Dupree
to the highest bidder for $5,000.
[cheering ]
Bravo. Bravissimo.
And date--Date it, please.
It's being notarized.
I am delighted to be
officially soulless
as of this day of October 31st.
I thought my soul was worth
at least $10,000.
[ laughter]
But I guess in these times
of economic turmoil,
- I am...
- Lucky, fortunate.
Fortunate,
yes, that it sold at all.
- Grateful.
- Yes, exactly.
WOMAN:
Uh, who bought it?
Anonymous.
Wow!
MAN: That's crazy.
- Thank you.
- [ applause]
The soulless Marion Dupree.
WOMAN'S VOICE:
She's not my friend.
MAN'S VOICE: She's a failure.
She sold her soul,
but no one's
buying anything else.
WOMAN'S VOICE:
She's a bad mother.
MAN'S VOICE:
Doesn't even show her tits.
SECOND MAN'S VOICE:
It's cute.
THIRD MAN'S VOICE: I'd rather
buy toilet paper than her pictures.
Oh, Marion,
did we miss the show?
- Are you okay?
- No.
Marion, I just want to say
that you are a talented artist,
and you will be remembered.
I can't breathe. I'm suffocating.
RON: Oh.
Oh, my God, this is it.
We should get in
and buy a few pictures.
They're gonna be
worth a fortune very soon.
Did you hear? Let's go in!
- Let's go.
- Come on.
[ Loud rock music playing ]
[ Passersby chattering ]
[ Band playing jazz]
Your father told me about your mom.
You never told us.
MARION:
I don't like to talk about it.
You know, in our village,
when we cannot let go
of someone who died,
we need to find a trapped animal
and release it.
Really?
You feel different today.
Different how?
Susan, just cut
the anonymous crap, okay?
I don't believe you.
Just give me his number.
Someone picked up the certificate,
so you have something--
something for him,
like a number or something.
Just give me his name!
I don't care
about the good news.
Just give it to me now.
My phone is running out of battery.
I'm gonna have to call you
from a public phone
and catch gonorrhea
of the mouth!
Is that what you want?
Give it to me!
I just wanted to give you instructions
on how my soul works.
MAN: I see, like, uh...
Like an instruction manual?
Yeah, to make sure you get
maximum return on your investment.
My soul is quite complicated
- and brought me many problems...
- Oh.
Which is why I was willing to sell it.
I see.
You're the actor
Vincent Gallo, right?
Yeah, the actor, the director,
the poet, the fashion model,
motorcycle racer, legend,
and the owner of your soul.
Yes, Vincent Gallo--me.
Why did you buy my soul?
Why did you sell your soul?
It's sort of a conceptual statement,
because I don't believe in the soul.
You don't believe?
Then why did we have
to meet here today?
I was just curious to know
why you bought it.
I just want to know why.
And you're sure you don't believe
in the soul, right?
You're sure it doesn't exist?
Yes.
MINGUS:
Pick up, pick up.
You have children.
You have to pick up the phone.
They could be hurt.
They could be dead.
Pick up the phone.
It went straight to voicemail.
Where is she?
I can't find her.
I mean,
the show was a success.
She sold everything.
Suddenly, it's all gone.
[ In French ] I'm not worried.
She's like that.
[ In English ] Mingus, do you have ice
for my feet, please?
Mingus. [ laughs]
Do you have ice for my feet?
Please, Mingus.
Why don't you get it yourself?
Okay.
And by the way, why do you laugh
every time you say my name?
Oh, Mingus,
please don't be mad.
It was a stupid joke between me
and that stupid Manu.
Your name--it rhymes
with "cunnilingus," and in French--
And in English, too!
Okay.
Thank you. Thank you.
It all makes sense now.
[laughing]
Mingus, cunnilingus.
- Oh, man, yes, yes.
- Yes.
Oh, Mingus, can you
get me some ice?
La la la. Mingus,
can you get the ketchup?
La la la.
Mingus, can you get my shoe?
La la la.
Can you remind me again
what you do for a living?
- I--
- You're a shrink for kids.
That is so scary.
Sick.
If there's a tiny little chance
that it does exist,
I think it's a good idea
that I have a backup,
you know, a sort
of "in case I need it" soul.
Well, let's say the soul does exist.
It's very unlikely you can just sell it
by signing a little piece of paper, right?
I disagree with you.
The concept of a soul is a little absurd,
but the idea of trading it, selling it
is no more absurd than the idea
that the soul exists.
Do you miss your soul?
Of course not.
[ blows raspberry]
[ Blows raspberry]
Yeah, mm-hmm, okay.
I'm just trying to think, if I s--
if I lost my soul,
how would that feel?
I mean, that's, uh...
I couldn't imagine that. I--
I might start to cry.
Where is, uh, the contract?
Someone picked it up
at the gallery, so you--
Where is it?
Why do you ask?
I need it back.
Just give it to me back.
I know you sent the money
already to the bank,
but I can make you--
make you a check right now,
and you give it back to me.
And it's no big deal, right?
No.
It's not for sale,
not for any price, not for anything.
I'm sorry.
- But it's mine.
- No.
You decided to sell it.
I decided to buy it,
and now it's mine.
Please tell me where it is.
I just want to know where it is,
that it's in a safe place.
GALLO:
It's in a safe place, baby.
It's very safe.
It's in a very, very safe place--
my favourite place.
It's in a little suede pouch
in the colour brown.
Tiny, little pouch.
It's rolled up, placed in the pouch,
and I keep it right here
in my groin area.
Safe, protected.
[cat meows]
MINGUS:
So you're not dead.
I said I wasn't gonna get mad.
But you know what?
Where have you been?
I'm sorry.
I couldn't call you.
My phone ran out of battery,
and then I was trying
to get my soul back,
and he ate it.
Who ate what?
Vincent Gallo.
Vincent Gallo?
So that's where you've been?
Well, first, I got a massage
because I was tense, okay?
And then I finally found out, like,
who's the anonymous person
who bought my soul.
So I called,
and we had a meeting,
and it was Vincent Gallo,
and then--and then I tried
to negotiate with him--
my soul back.
And the paper--
he had the paper with him.
The certificate I signed.
I just want it back,
not because
I believe in the soul,
but because I believe
something was wrong with me
ever since I signed that paper.
So he had it in a little area,
he said, like in a suede pouch
next to his groin area, you know?
I lunged at him,
and I grabbed the pouch,
and I punched him in the face,
and then he punched me
in the stomach,
and then we punched
back and forth.
And then we--
we fell to the floor.
And then he--
he grabbed it,
[sobbing ]
and he ate it.
So you spent all night
in Vincent Gallo's pants
on the floor?
- No, it's not what you think.
- That's what you just said.
- No, no, no.
- That's what you just said.
No, that's not at all what I said.
I said he had my soul
in his underwear.
Okay? It's very different.
No, it's not fucking different.
You're fucking going cra--
Ever since your family got here,
you've become another person.
Now the question is,
is this who you really are
and you've just been hiding it
from me the whole time?
Or this is just some isolated incident
that'll never happen again?
What is it?
Psycho bitch?
Not psycho bitch?
I'm not a psycho bitch, sweetie.
I was really trying
to get my soul back,
and it was in his underwear.
[sniffling ]
And I didn't touch his penis.
How is Lulu?
You know what?
Why don't you check yourself?
He was crying.
He missed his mommy.
Mommy left without saying anything.
He's okay?
Yeah, he's fine.
He's in our bed.
I'm gonna go sleep in my office.
You don't have to do that.
- It's stupid.
- No, no.
It's stupid. Nothing happened.
Nothing really--
MARION, narrating:
In fairy tales, they tell you
they lived happily ever after.
They never tell you
the rest of the story
for a very good reason.
No more dragons to slay
after the happy ending.
Life begins,
and that's way harder to handle
than any dragon.
But then again, you can end up
with the most precious gift
in the whole world.
You know why
I don't believe in the soul?
Because a soul would
probably mean an afterlife.
And if there was something,
my mom would have tried
to communicate with me somehow,
even though she knows better
than to contact me
when I'm home alone at night.
- [ In French ] We're beat.
- We took Lulu to school.
ROSE: You okay?
Wanna come to Central Park?
It'll clear your head.
Oh, pm.
- [ knocking]
- MINGUS: [in English] Come in.
Hey, sweetie. You want to come
with us to Central Park?
No, gotta do my taxes.
MARION:
Taxes in November?
MINGUS:
Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
Could you close the door?
[ In French ]
It'll work out with Mingus.
- He works too much, that's all.
- Papa.
Your show was a success.
Because they thought I had a brain tumour.
What are you talking about?
Marion, we love you.
We're here for you.
Look at that castle.
Can we go in?
Marion, what is that?
MINGUS: [in English]
You know what? if we broke up,
I would just wake up
in the morning,
I'd get my coffee,
and I'd be on my way.
No more organic crap.
Nothing organic.
The day we break up,
I'm, you know,
gonna start barbecuing
in this place,
I'll tell you that.
I can go to the Knick game,
and I could, you know,
hang with my boys,
and I could--with a few women,
multiple women.
Hey, you got something on your--
Somebody needs
to help you out there.
I'd come back,
and I'd be refreshed
from getting this pussy.
And then--
You don't mind
if I say "pussy," right?
I mean, you know,
the options are unbelievable.
Who am I kidding?
Girls you meet at bars,
eating cheeseburgers
at 2:00 in the morning--
they want to talk after sex.
"What are you thinking?
"When you were in me,
you were going crazy.
"How did it feel?
What's your sign?"
My sign is "shut the fuck up."
That's my sign.
I mean, Marion's difficult...
but I like her.
She's an animal lover.
Yes, I know Hitler loved animals, too,
but, you know.
I mean, she cooks, and she--
Oh, my God,
she gives an amazing--
You don't even understand it.
If we ever break up
and you get the chance,
you have my blessing.
Well, not that you need my blessing.
I'm sure if I left her with you
for five minutes,
she'd be on her fucking knees.
Was that cold?
She hates cold.
You know what?
I hate cold.
Marion's,
you know, she's a lot of things,
- but she's never cold.
- [ phone chimes]
Belvedere Castle.
You know, I'm not you.
This is why I'm not the president.
I'm not really big
on the public romantic reconciliations.
They're not my thing.
But I'm gonna wait for her to get back,
and then I'm gonna
tell her how I feel.
You know,
I gotta go take a piss.
When I get back,
I want to hear about you
and Michelle, okay?
All right, my man. All right.
All right, let's do this.
Lift the seat.
[ Urinating ]
Shit.
- [ Lip 1
- Hmm.
Oh, shit.
JEANNOT: [in French]
Don't pose.
Act natural.
ROSE: I'm natural.
[wings flapping ]
[flapping 1
[cooing 1
Papa! Rose!
A pigeon's stuck up here.
I'll free him to help Mom!
ROSE:
What are you talking about?
Marion, what are you doing?
[ In English ]
Uh, Miss, you--you can't do that!
Miss!
- ROSE: Marion!
- Miss!
- [ In English] Miss! Miss!
- I just have to free that pigeon!
MINGUS: What's going on?
What's going on?
I don't know. The lady's crazy.
She started climbing up there.
- Okay, little guy, okay.
- MINGUS: Honey! Honey!
[ In French ]
You're crazy!
- Come on, Dad!
- Marion!
- [ In English ] No, no, what's going on?
- I can do it.
It's not you! It's your hormones!
MARION:
I'm okay, sweetie!
MINGUS:
We're gonna have a little Obama!
What?
Aw, shit!
POLICEMAN:
We got a trespasser. I need backup.
Got it! Whoa!
[screams ]
No!
[ In French ]
Shit!
Oh, no! [grunts]
MARION, narrating: If you live your life
with one person only,
one day, they'll be gone
or you'll be gone,
and one of you will be left
all alone in the cold world.
The family we are born in
eventually vanishes.
By then you've created
your own family, if you're lucky.
First, you have
to choose the person
you'll build this family with
and stick to it
as much as possible.
How many tries do you get
before you strike out?
When my mother died,
just a few hours before the end,
she looked into my eyes,
and she had the expression
of a little girl
who didn't know
what was happening to her,
the same
as when Lulu was born--
something totally pure.
So I guess we can do
all the growing up we can.
In the end, at the core,
we stay the same.
[scaffold rattles]
But before that sad ending
that awaits all of us,
maybe we can share beautiful,
ephemeral moments
with the people we love.
VINCENT GALLO:
You got the two losers,
and then, eventually, you got
a girlfriend and a wife...
[cooing 1
MARION: So Mommy, Daddy,
Pappy, and Auntie
ended up in jail,
but not for long.
It all worked out in the end.
Then seven months later,
you were born.
Grandpa moved to New York
so he could be close to all of us.
And that's also when
Auntie Rose met Uncle Bob.
He was the policeman
that threw us all in jail.
[laughs]
And, luckily,
they moved to Paris.
What you doing?
I was just explaining to her
what happened before she was born.
No crazy stuff, right?
Of course not.
Just a love story
with a happy ending.
[laughs]
[whimsical music]
[ Reggae music]
WOMAN: It's been so long
since I've been home
MAN:
Probably miss home bad
WOMAN: My body bleeds,
and I'm feeling raw
Too much space
where you belong
Somewhere dark and warm,
it's feeling so right
To be wrong
MAN: It's clear now
WOMAN: It's been so long
since I've been home
MAN: I've been missing you
from the start
WOMAN: My body bleeds,
and I'm feeling raw
MAN: Unh!
Sleep tight, angel
WOMAN: Too much places
I have found
MAN: Where?
WOMAN: Playing the game,
scoring my name
Couldn't have been
so wrong
MAN: Woman...
[man singing, lyrics indistinct]
Where have you been to?
All the time I've been
missing you, you, you
And the lie that you tell,
you tell me, too
But the love's still new
And the nighttime blue
WOMAN: Too much space
where you belong
Somewhere dark and warm,
it's feeling so right
To be wrong
MAN: It's clear now
WOMAN: It's been so long
since I've been home
MAN: I've been missing you
from the start
WOMAN: My body bleeds,
and I'm feeling raw
MAN: Unh!
Sleep tight, angel
WOMAN: Too much places
I have found
MAN: Where?
WOMAN: Playing the game,
scoring my name
Couldn't have been
so wrong
He couldn't have been
so wrong
He couldn't have been
so wrong