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3 Idiots (2009)
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roliekgeorge@yahoo.com hello ya what? sir kindly switch off your mobile phone just one sec one sec please!!! excuse me! sir please sit down!!!! captain ther is a medical emergency a passenger has just fallen down on the aisle delhi air india 11 returning to medical emergency sir excuse me sir excuse me sir one minute!!!!!!! im alright now thank you! all go now i'll go now gentlemen wait!! get the vehicle are you Mr.dullon why? should i tatoo my name here? take out the vehicle fast!! ok sir!! come sir should go to hotel right sir?? ya ya we'll go hotel but through vasant vihar.. take me ther put some load on accelerator kaake!!!! ya farhan tell me you come out fast im reachin ur place in 5 min what happened dude? chathur had called remember him? who "silencer"? ya ya he's tellin rancho is comin what u're sayin? hanh he's tellin if wanna meet rancho come to campus at 8, on the tank oh s hey u come out fast ya ok ok sruthi i'll be back in sometime oooo shoes.... hey i got my friend back what? hey i'll come back n speak to u!!! atleast wear pants n go!!! now can we go to hotel sir? we'll go to hotel kaake but only after goin to "imperial college of engineering" ok sir!!! forgot to take socks dude!! u talkin about socks??? hey look down even pants u forgot!!! oooooooo sir now u can go to hotel!!! but only after goin to airport because my sir is comin there take him to hotel!!!!! same sur name "dullon" im dullon!! where the hell had u sent taxi?? is it on runway?? oye rancho hey chathur where is rancho? rancho where is rancho? welcome idiots wanna drink madiera(RUM) this is that rum you all used to drink here? have a drink hey where is rancho? i'll tell u first u watch this not my wife... llook at the bunglow behind idiots 3.5 million swiming pool heated!!! living room maple wood flooring my new lamborghini 6496cc sssss very fast hey why u showin all these to us? forgot? what is this? come bet... after 10 years will come back over here itself, on this same day n we'll see who is more successful??? have dareness??.........tell, will u come??.... will u come? remember something now??? here only i kept bet with that idiot i kept my promise im back he he stupid i left my flight n came he left his pant n came just to meet rancho from five years we're searchin for him dont know he's dead or alive or wat do u think? will he come for this stupid bet he wont come i know he wont come he he eh what? will u break his teeth or ill only do it..... one min farhan one min idiot.. then why did u call us over here? to meet rancho come n see where he stayed back n where i reached!!! means tat u know where is rancho? aah? yes where is rancho? he is in shimla!!!! #.....he was like a fleeting wind.....# #.....like a flutterting kite.....# #.....where did he go? lets find him.....# #.....he was like a fleeting wind.....# #.....like a flutterting kite.....# #.....where did he go? lets find him.....# #.....while confined channel guided us.....# #.....he would define his pathways.....# #.....and loiter along them merrily.....# #.....while our future haunted us.....# #.....he would celebrate the present.....# #.....and live every moment with reckless freedom .....# #.....where did he come from? .....# #....touching our hearts .....# #.....where did he go? lets find him.....# #.....he was like a shade in sweltering heat .....# #.....like village in desert .....# #.....he was like salve for our distress .....# #.....while we cowered from challenges .....# #.....he would dive in seas .....# #.....and swim against the rip currents .....# #.....he was a wandering cloud .....# #.....he was our pal .....# #.....where did he go? lets find him.....# rancho! ranchhodas shamaldas chanchad how different his name was? that same different thoughts since childhood we heard that life is like a race.... if u dont run fast others will overtake u... damn!!! to take birth... had to race among 300 million sps he he eh i born at 5.15am n at 5.16am my dad told My son will become engineer!!! farhan qureshi! b.tech engineer and my fate was sealed!!! what i wanted to become?? nobody asked me though? raju rastogi ranchhoddas chanchad tell me ur room number! D26 follow me im manmohan M.M all these enginneers call me milli meter milk, egg, bread, wash clothes, iron clothes, filling journals, copying assignment let it be any work tell me!!! fixed rate no bargain!! one min one min hold this hold..... this is kilo byte this is mega byte n this is his mother giga byte take their pictures... this family does'nt byte [bite] [raju praying] here comes one more big believer!!! hi farhan qureshi...im raju rastogi dont worry after someday u stay here... ur belief in god will vanish eventually only naked girls poster sticked by your side.. n u'll say oh god get me once!!! hey get out of here!! out out give 4 rupees here 5 rupees... keep change wow sir u gave me tip even i'll give u a tip today night.... wear underwear which doesnt have hole!!! why? oh emperor..... u r great..... accept our gift aaahh this is he-man, he-man take this... ooohhhoo white white white we were humiliated, hands saluting, heads down like slaves, when we saw rancho for the first time! new gift..gift gift gift gift! namaste sir!!! remove your pants n get sealed!!! whats ur name? tell ranchhodas shamaldas chanchad!! huuii hhehehhee listen brothers learn by-heart!!! by final year u'll learn!!! hmmm remove ur pants.... remove pant oooh so u wont listen like this hanh? dont wear wet pant kid? come remove now!! aal iz well aal iz well.............[ranchod baba mantra lol] what is he tellin? someone make him understand!!! hey james bond make him understand!! hmm take off ur pants of they're gonna piss on u oye english!!! feeling shy to speak in hindi hanh? sorry sir i was born in uganda, n studied in pondicherry!! so little slow in hindi!!! so slowly make him understand!! who is in a hurry here? worn again hanh? [in pure hindi!!!!laughing stock] take off ur pants or they gonna piss on u... he is tellin piss as muthravisarjan???hahahha ooo here come pandit learning engineering hey come out you idiot come out come out or else ill piss on ur door!!! ill count 10 if u dont come out ill piss on ur door for the whole semester salt water is a great conductor of electricity we all studied it!! he applied it!! ICE's director's name was Dr.viru shastrabhuddi but every one calls him virus all called him computer virus!!! oye virus is comin..carryin eggs with him he has told first years to come down come fast fast virus was the most competetive man we had ever seen if someone overtakes him even one step......... he could'nt accept it, to save time he used velcro instead of buttons and a hook in tie!! he has trained his mind that he can write using both his hands at the same time everday at 2 he used to take a power nap of exactly 7.5 minutes n used to listen opera govind had to do all unproductive works like shaving, cuttin nails in this 7.5 mins what is this? sir nest!! whose?? cuckoo bird's nest cuckoo bird never builds their nest.. they lay their eggs on other birds nest and when their babies come to the world, what do they do first? they kick out other eggs from the nest... competition over the life begins with murder thats nature... compete or die! you all so are like the cuckoo birds and these are those eggs whom u kicked out and reached ICE dont forget because every year, 4 lakh applications comes to ICE among them only 200 will be selected you and these finished broken eggs!! my own son applied for 3 years rejected everytime remember life is a race!! if u dont run fast someone will beat u n move faster than u... let me tell u very interesting story this is an astronauts pen in space, foundain pen, ball pen cannot be used so after spending millions of dollars scientists invented this pen..!! from this u can write in any angle, any temperature, zero gravity one day when i was a student the director of our institute called me he said "viru shastrabhuddi." i said "yes sir" come here!! i got scared showed me this pen he said this is a symbol of excellence i give it to u and the day when u get a extraordinary student like u pass this pen to him from 32 year viru shastrabhuddi is waiting for the next viru shastrabhuddi any one here in this batch to honour this pen? good hands down should i write in the notice board i said put down your hands sir i have a question sir... sir if in space fountain pen ball pen cannot be used why astronaut didn't tried pencil in space sir? could've saved millions of dollars i will get back to you on this that fellow in night kicks seniors and in day irritating director, im telling u if we stay with him... he will put us in trouble buddy, u though screwed virus completely oh emperor, u're great.. accept our gift.... get lost, dont u've school? who'll pay fees? yout father? u callin my father? hey stop stop raju wat u doin? eh listen! no fees required for schooling!!! uniform is required, uniform... whichever school u like go, get the uniform of that school.. go sit in the class..... who'll come to know when there is a huge population??? if i get caught? if they catch u, then uniform change, school change!!! ehhe there was really something special about him, he always used to challenge everything in the world.. each n every move.... he was the only one free bird in VIRUS's nest... we all were just robots operated by professors remote control... but he was the only one.. perhaps not a machine!!!! what is a machine? why are you smiling?? um.. actually sir from my childhood i used to dream of studying in an engineering college today im sitting over here, feeling excited sir!!! no need to be so overexcited... tell.. tell me the definition for machine um.. sir machine is anything that reduces human effort sir will you please elaborate...? sir um... all those things which makes the work for humans easier are machines sir feeling hot!!! pressed button, wind blowing, FAN is a machine sir!! u can talk to your friend miles away..TELEPHONE is machine sir!!! calculate crores in less time... CALCULATOR is a machine sir sir actually we are dependent in the world for machine sir from PEN NIB to PANTS ZIB... all machines sir!! one sec up one sec down, up down up down up tell me the definition?? sir thats wat im tellin sir.. will you write all these in examz hanh? "this is machine up down up down up"?? IDIOT!!! anybody else??? )^&(%#( )&%%&(#&%# $(^($&%#&%# (&^%%%$^&&&^%$%& he he eh bla bla bla bla (&%(%%# !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow great !!!! perfect !! great please sit down! thank you thank you but sir even i told the same in simple language..... if you like simple language.. u can go join some other arts n commerce college but sir.. we should understand it atleast like this way mugging up from book, what the use sir? oh you know more than books??? books has the same definition... and if u wanna pass,, u'll write this itself.... but sir, ther are other books also get out!!! ooh why? in simple language... please go outside... IDIOT! so we were discussing about the machines hey why you came back? i forgot somethin sir!! what? instrument and record, analyse, summarize, organize, debate and explained information that are elastative and non-elastative hard bound paper bag jacketed non-jacketed with forward introduction, table of cotents index that are intented for the enlightment understanding enhancement and education human brains of sense in root of vision sometimes touch!! what you wish to say?? books sir books!! i forgot books sir can i take it? could'nt you say in simple way? i tried sometime before, but u dint like it in simple way sir.... professors used to keep rancho outside more often than in classroom if he get kicked from one class, he'll go sit in another classroom rancho used to say that knowledge is increasing everywhere.......where ever you get... gain it!!! he was entirely different from all of us we used to fight for bathroom but wherever rancho used to get water, he used to have bath there itself! he was very much attached to machines used to carry screwdriver in his pocket where ever he goes he would open any machine that he finds.... some got closed some did not!! there was another guy just like him joy lobo sir excuse me sir mr.joy lobo sir if u mind lettting me know abt the convocations dates... why? actually dad wanted to get a reservation i'm the first engineer in my village sir.. all the relatives wanted to come on the convocation day in that case call make a phone call to your dad son please please dont waste my time hurry hello dad director sir will speak to you joy mr.lobo your son wont get graduated this year what happened sir? he has violated all the deadlines with unrealistic mr lobo mr lobo unrealistic project it is i had told already he making some non-sense helicopter so i recommend you not to reserve his ticket, im so sorry sir im just close is your project ready? is your project ready? sir atleast take a look at this once sir please do submit it i'll take into consideration sir give me some extension sir why why should i give you an extension? sir after dads stroke i couldnt concentrate for 2 months sir please did you leave having food and water for 2 months? no did you leave taking bath?no? then why did you left studies? sir im very close sir pls take a look at this sir please.. mr.lobo my son died falling from train on sunday afternoon monday morning virushastrabhuddi gave lecture in this college so dont tell me that non-sense i can only give you sympathy not extension si...r how cool design he made?? wireless camera over helicopter? traffic updates security... can be used for all but VIRUS was tellin this is an impractical design... wont fly it seems? how it wont fly? ill make it fly!! hm hm hey dont tell joy will give him surprise we'll make this fly out his window and record his reaction if we do his project, who'll do ours? test, viva, quizzes included, there are 42 examz in each semester hey you worry a lot dude take this hand and keep it in your hand and say, aal iz well aal iz well all is well aal iz well now he has brought something new our BABA ranchhodas!! hey in our village there was a watchman... he used to yell in night saying aal iz well and we used to sleep tight one night there was a robbery in our village, then we came to know that he's blind, and he yells aal iz well aal iz well and we used to sleep like fools... but that day we came to know about the real fact see our heart right, is a big coward... keep our heart as a fool if you have any big problem in life tell our heart no problem baby everythin is ok aal iz well aal iz well hm so that will solve problem ? hanh? no but still it gains the dareness to survive remember this mantra... this is gonna become more useful over here got it got it yeah take it to joys window hey joy, up up ooye window... see silencer naked naked heheh ehhe hey joy come out joy hey joy look outside.. joy.... #... give me some sunshine.. give me some rain...# #... give me another chance i wanna grow up once again.....# you've a good news sir.. neither police got to know nor joys dad.... everyone will think its a suicide, sir reason for death in postmortem report intense pressure in wind pipe resulting in choking this fool believed tat died because of the pressure held here... and from last 4 years of pressure over here? wat about that? even thats not in the report also sir, these engineers are so back minded sir didnt even invent some machine, that could really behold the pressure over here... if they had does, could've come to know this is not a suicide, its a murder, are you blaming me for the suicide of joy? if one student cant tolerate pressure why im i the one responsible? so many pressure will come in life... then everytime will you blame other for that? sir im not blaming you sir actually im blaming the system sir i've got some statistics sir in suicides india is no:1 sir every 1 half hour one of the other students attempt suicide, sir student die less in sickness and more in suicide here sir something is going wrong rightt sir? i cant tell about other colleges but this is one of the finest college in the country im running this college from 32 years i brought this college to no:1 from 28th position sir wat no:1 sir ??? here we dont've any talks related to new ideas,no talks on inventions only great talk on only marks, or else job in USA we dont gain any knowledge here sir... here they only teach us how to bring good marks... now are you going to teach me how to take class? pls sit down today we have our great leader behind us who claims that he can teach better than our highly qualified teachers so today our professor ranchhodas chanchad will teach us engineering we donot have all day you all have 30 secs should find the meaning of the word written on the board if u want u can make use of your books too the one who gets the answer can lift ur hands up we'll see who'll come first and whos last your time starts now time up time up sir time up what? nobody got the answer? now rewind 1 min of life a bit and think when i asked this question.. anybody thought that today we will get something to learn new..? anyone..sir no everyone sunk in race whats the use if u come first studying like this? will you improve your knowledge? no only pressure will increase and this is a college not a PRESSURE COOKER the lion in the circus also learns to sit on the chair fearing the whip held in his owner's hand but we call such a lion as well trained,not well educated hello.... this is not a philosophy class! tell us the meaning of those 2 words, sir actually no such words exists sir these are my friends names farhan and raju quiet non-sense like this you teach engineering? no sir im not teaching you engineering, you know better than me i was teaching you that, how to teach, and i believe that you learn someday for sure sir because i never leave my weaker students hand busted quiet quiet i said i would regret to inform you that your son farhan, raju is goin on wrong routes if u dont take required action their future will be spoiled VIRUS's letters fell down in our homes like an atom bomb there was mourning in hiroshima n nagasaki! and we were invited to both the home to get kicked come come inside see there we could only afford one airconditioner and we didnt keep in our bedroom , we kept it in farhans bedroom for him to study convieniently i didnt buy car, riding scooter till now invested all money in farhans studies we sacrificed our future for farhan's better future.. did you understand or not? then can u imagine wat i must be going through! hey you took all these photos farhan? quiet he has the ghost of photography in his head he used to take the images of animals and used to say he wanted to become wild life photographer son what was your percentage that year? did you hear that? from 94 percent straight down to 91 pecent u feel it funny? no no uncle no i was tellin how great pictures he has taken why you makin him an engineer you could've made him a wild life photographer i'm foldin my hands n requesting u please dont spoil my sons future kids come lets eat somethin when you come next time have food and go.... dad though didnt give us food, and atlast to fill our hungry stomach, and to fill the quota of advise we reached raju's home raju's home reminds us about the 1950's black and white films one small bed where his paralysed father rest one coughing mother and one sister at her age of marriage sofa with all springs out and 24 hours running water from terrace mother was retired from school and almost tired everytime... his dad was a postmaster at his age after paralysis he lost his half body and salary completely.... and sister!!! kammo(raju's sister) is 28 now... asking maruthi 800 as dowry... if dont study n all how she'll get married? take lady's finger curry.. hand jee thank you you know wat? lady's finger has now become 12 rupees per kg and cauliflower 10 rupees world is looting all over and upon that your these kind of letters come from college what will we eat?? want paneer?? someday back u get little of paneer in goldsmith's shop want paneer? no no enough mom just leave it keep quiet, what? ok ok, i'll keep quiet earn for kids, work like a servant, and after all these keep mouth shut? hey these all our news if i dont tell it to my son, to whom will i say? to his friends? hey raju it was a big confusion whether we should control our friend or wipe his mother's tears then we thought to leave all these matter, and lets concentrate on mattar paneer now, even his exhema's cream comes for 55 rupees now want more roti son??? no no done no stomach filled aunty lady's finger 12 rupees and caulli flower 10 rupees hehheee atleast we offered you some food unlike your hungy father hitler qureshi hanh hanh your mom is mother teresa right?? she was serving us itchy roti, dont make fun of my mother hey leave it, why u all fighting? feelin damn hungry come lets go have some food outside this is the end of month who'll give money his mom mother teresa? to have food doesnt require money dude, uniform is required uniform, watch there.. come come namaste jee namaste ooooo uncle hey listen get us 3 glass of vodka half soda half water what are the starters available? what ever get us two plates each and leave this here and change the music yaar..put some ghazal or something pia what the hell is this? what have you worn?? bloody eighteenth century watch? what people will say? watch suhas's fiance, she is gonna become doctor, and she's wearing a watch just costing 200 bucks? please take it off thank you hi handsome hey aunty, you're looking good dont miss my set darling rubies? from mendelaves.. mendelave wow!!! hey lets go meet david, come i'll show u, ofcourse of course excuse me yes um.. flowers um.. can i take this glass? why? what if u break my head with glass? why should i throw this on you? because im gonna give you some free advises, what? dont ever marry that fool, excuse me he is not a human, he is just a price tag, price tag he'll embarrass you tellin all prices of different thing all your life, your life will be spoiled and your future will be finished, should i give a demo? should i find out whats the price for his shoes? im not gonna ask him, he himself will reveal, just a sec oh my god hey hey what have you done? its a 300 dollar shoes u dropped mint chutney on my 300 dollars shoes! run away, its a free advise, take it or leave it genuine itallian leather hand stiched, dad are these your guests? these are my students why they're here? one sec this is really good dude, smelling very good, hey no space for puri dude, adjust it by side, ohh hi hey hi, you helped me opening up my eyes, thank you so much nothing like that..it was my duty! can i ask you for little more help? ya ya my dad wont allow me to break the engagement with suhas, how great you explain! it would be good if u give a demo for him also, ya ya why not why not? ill give demo raju get me chutney, you're really sweet, where is he, where is your dad? totally behind you, ooh, aal iz well aal iz well run away, its a free advise, take it or leave it what u all doin here? um sir.. we'll go on the stage, give this envelope n come sir give it to me this is my sister's marriage umm. sis sister? sir, totally how many daughters do u have, sir? its empty! as though we dint invite you, you all might be from groom's side right? no sir actually we're from science's side sir how? can you explain? dad, he explains really good, now itself he'll give demo, give um... sir in delhi, power goes out frequently sir and this really affects the marriage too sir so i thought to make an inverter that can generate power from all cars that has come in the marriage, ohhh wow and did you make the inverter? sir design is ready sir!!!! um.. where is the design farhan i've given you the design right? aah, i had given to raju, raju design?? sir actually, leave it sir ill make the inverter itself and show you directly, you can only make us fool, not an inverter!!! no sir ill surely make the inverter, i promise and ill give your name for the inverter because after all it had been invented in your daughter's marriage so it'll an honour, farhan, raju.. i wish to meet both of you in the office tomorrow sir what was your per plate cost sir, we'll pay sir in terms of installment sir and afterward we wont intrude in any marriage sir i wont even enter my marriage also sir, infact i wont marry also sir, even he wont marry also sir hanh hanh, even i wont sir even your parents shouldnt've married sit!!!!!!!! be attention... ?????? this is ranchhodas's father's monthly income now from this, one, or let it be two zero if you remove out... does'nt make much difference to bother, but if one more zero is less, i would worry a little this is your father's monthly income, mr.farhan! ye... yes sir, and now if you make it one more zero less, now this is your family income mr.raju rastogi, big reason to worry, follow viru shastrabhuddi's suggestion, change your rooms and get shifted with chathur ramalingam exams are closer, and if you be with that chanchad, will never pass in exams! #..... opera started......# wanna get shaved? no sir,, then get lost! raju you try to understand, VIRUS is playing games between us, divide and rule dont get scared, had to be scared! for me to get good job, i need good grades, and grades are within his hands, i dont have rich father like you..using whose money, i can spend the rest of my life hey raju what non-sense are you tellin? should we do whatever he says hanh? aal iz well, aal iz well? you'll be the only one who gonna catch his tail not me, now you're crossing the line, no im making line in between, because i have to support my family! mom's half salary has been spend on dad's medicines, sister's marriage is not happening, as the groom wants maruthi 800, from past 5 years mom dint even buy one saree, yaar..now in this argument..if u r getting mother's saree in between..what can i say? yaar so like that how many sarees are reserved for one year? heheh dont make fun of my mother, hey raju we will study, with complete dedication we'll study, but not only to pass exams, some great scholar has told, "never study to be successful, study for self efficiency" dont run behind success, excellence follow behind excellence success will come all way behind you, who the great scholar told this? BABA ranchhodas??? hey hey dont take tension yaar, we'll top the exams yaar, nothin is impossible! nothin is impossible? hanh? take this, now put this back, k!! raju changed his train's bogey, now he started the journey(saffar) with chathur, not the "saffar" in hindi, english's SUFFER S SU SUF SUFF SUFFE SUFFER SUFFER hehhehe everyone calls chathur as "silencer" to make his mind even more sharper, he used to eat some bengali BABA's PAN, and he used to leave his HOT AIR!!!! i din do it! raaju.... and he always put the blame on others! SILENCER used to mug up 18 hours a day and during exam's night, he used to distract others from study #.... oooo baby.... come on baby ye.....# he believed in two ways of topping exams one is to get marks by yourself, or try reducing other's marks racho has made the combined plan to teach silencer a lesson, and to help raju, our director sir has done much miracle here, chamatkaar (miracle) means.... i dont want the meaning dubey jee, i'll memorize it.... chathur has been chosen to present introductory speech on teacher's day he wrote speech in pure hindi from librarian dubey jee to impress VIRUS, hello, yes will call, chathur, you've a call dubey jee please keep this print out with you, ill come back in sometime, oohhh even do that work also.... !!! hey dubey jee! director sir has remembered you, ya now ok you give this to chathur , ill come back now helllo, hello hello mr.ramalingam, yes ya im calling from lajpat nagar police station, are you from uganda? h h yes sir, hmmm your life is under risk, wat how? um listen to my instructions carefullly else when you step out from the college gate you'll face death in centre of road itself, why ? what happened? by the time chathur recovers from this shock, before that itself racho changed a few words in the speech like..... chamathkaar has become balathkaar [ miracle ] [ rape ] had you called me sir? who are you? dubey librarian, im permenant sir, CONGRATULATIONS!! um.. one min one min commisioner sir's call, hold on, excuse me sir sir take phone take it wat to say? ya ya where was i? you were tellin, outside gate, my death hanh! when you go out the gate, you a see a signal in front of you traffic signal!! hanh ok ok when that signal becomes red, all vehicle will stop, ok ok then then you cross the road carefully, you know why son nowadays traffic is huge so like if any vehicle hits you or somethin, you might die, what non-sense i know that! oh u know that, very good son then you are safe, well done well done. #......became a fool.......# hey SILENCER!!! dubey has given you this, hey you dont call me that CHANCHAD, CHANCHAD director told me that he din call me, he dint call you, i told that he remembered you!! idiots... respected teachers, chief guest minister shri RD tripati ji, students n my dear friends today if ICE is touchin sky high limits, then the credit goes to only one man shri viru sahastrabuddhi.. give him a hand, sir he's sayin it.. but every word is mine he is a great guy, really you are, from past 32 years he had continuosly in this college, he has done rapes upon rapes,,, this means.. miracles upon miracles hope he continues to do so we feel wondered that, how a person in his lifetime can do these many rapes ? with his extreme self discipline.. he's made himself this capable right usage of time complete utilization of bell somebody, learn from him, learn from him, learn from him........ sit down sit down today..we all students are here.. tomorrow, we'll spread across so many countries i promise u all whichever country we are........... there we'll rape!!! we'll enlight the name of ICE!!!!!! we'll show everyone, the capability 2 perform rape that students have over here no other students in across the globe has it!!! no other student, no other student!! respected minister.. namaskar you have given that thing for this institution.... that we needed the most.... money money!!! not that.... that means what kinda insulting topic is this boy speakin! is ther with everyone,.... everyone keeps it hidden........ nobody never gives it...... eeaan eaan??? this guy is too vulgar u have given ur in the hands of this rapist now let us see, how he makes use of it......... sahastrabuddhi, dont u have so much of brains indecent guy on this golden occasion, i can recollect a shlok, listen listen..now he'll explain his farting stength in sanskrit uthamam dadadatu paadham [ give out excellent fart ] paadham??? ooo SILENCER....... [ fart ] . madyam paadam..... tuchuk tuchuk. [ middle most farting ] . kanishtam thud thudiya paadam [ smallest thud thudiya farting ] sur suriiee............ praana kadakam... [important breath of life] see, without understanding if u cram things.. this will be the result, see see By cramming, u can save 4 years of ur college life.. but for the next 40 years of your life, u'll go on getting raped........ aare yaar,we made him understand so much.. but still he hasnt understood, madyam paadam thuchuk thuchuk... unbelievable yaar.... u done the right point.. rancho how fun it was...... hehe poor fellow dint had any idea...... hey you hey you swines.. in wat way have i harmed u?? eheh ehe hey sorry dude dont take it personally, ill take it personally, chathur ramalingam is not gonna forget this insult, ill think of it every minute, every sec of my life dude leave it, acttually we were giving demo for raju... that dont cram things n study. understand n study..enjoy the beauty of science yaar im not here to enjoy thing... then wat?..are you here 2 rape??or have you come here to rape science!!..tuchuk tuchuk!! laugh.....!!! laugh on my methods.. one day using this methods... i'll become successful n show everyone and then i'll laugh.......... and u'll cry!! yaar, u're boarding the wrong train again dont run behind success...... become a great engineer such that success runs behind u..... these ideals dont work in the real world CHANCHAD u board ur train........... and i'll board mine and after 10 years from now..v'll come back on this same station on this same date, we'll see whose more successful!!! you? or me! do u dare... do u dare...??? then lets bet....tel wil u come.. wil u come..? wil u come..?? wat are u doing yaar? wat has happened to him!! wat is he writing yaar?? dont forget this date....... i'm not used to such expensive gifts,suhas! get used to it pia..u're gonna be suhas tandon's wife!! where's the bill man? i'll be back hanh! u had changed the speech right?..dont lie! oooo...umm..ya wat problem do u have with my dad, hanh? i dont have any problem with him .. i'm making an inverter on his name.....see this oooh.. broke it!! why are u behind my dad, hanh? because he's not running a college, but a factory.!! where donkeys are manufactured every year.... see..see over there..ur donkey how dare u call him a donkey!! then wat else should i call him..??? first he did engineering..then MBA.. n after that he went to America to work for a bank... heeeh if he had to work in a bank only, then why did he do engineering? for such donkeys..life only means profit or loss statement... he's seeing there's profit being with u, tats why he's with u you director's daughter whose gonna be a doctor..its good for his image etc etc he has no attachment with u..... wat do u think of yourself? wat do u mean by sayin suhas is not interested in me? aare..you bought new watch??..one minute..hold this i have to show u demo everytime...... hey suhas! where were u?..i've been looking for u! she lost her watch yaar..she's searchin for it..... wat!!!!..u lost the watch??? aare leave it yaar..get a new one aare it cost 4 lakhs..... oh shut up!! how could u be so careless pia!!..this careless attitude is disgusting its disrespectful tat was a limited edition watch u just lost! u got it 4 free..so tats it..now u wear your 18th century watch at dinner.. wat?..wat are u staring at? huh..now u'll start crying..real mature pia i cant handle this..now stop crying n search!! seach for some other hand for this watch..donkey!!! hey..u're solid yaar..u said donkey to him on his face! get lost!! yaar its too much noisy here right..?? she's saying thank u to me..but i hear it as get lost i said get lost only! aare yaar,why're u getting so angry?? do u know..actually you never had loved him at all! wat do u mean? means..whenever he comes infront of u.. have u ever felt like wind is blowing..or dupatta/veil is flying in slow motion?? or the moon looks even bigger in the sky....? such things only happens in a film, not in real life! aare no-no..it happens in real life also....if u love a human, it'll happen... it doesnt happen with donkeys #.... phone ringing...# hello!!..ya wat??.. oh god!!.. ok ok..i'm coming..ya bye bye hey..u're a medical student right? i need ur help..its an emergency..please please! come with me..please aare yaar..u doctors take an oath tat u'll never say no to a patient! wat do u call it..hippocratic oath!! yaar help me yaar..please..its an emergeny..please u barged into my sister's engagement, u broke my engagement dad is taking BP pills because of u and i'm helpin u over here unbelivable!! this hippocratics...it has just ruined doctor's lifes!! aunty, where is raju? he's gone to get a taxi....we called for an ambulance two hours ago.. our country is so weird..there is a guarantee for pizza to reach in 30 mins..but ambulance!! he must be hospitalised..urgently! hey stop man! move..move..move..move move..move..move..move doctor..doctor.. emergency..emergency.. patient keep this with u.. hey raju idiot, u brought dad on a scooter? then should i have sent him through a speed-post..?? dont get into my dad's profession!! where?..where is dad? ask the doctor!!! this was a close call pia... if it wud've been late by 2 or 2.5 hours, then we wud have lost him good that u did not wait for an ambulance n got him on a scooter, i'll go now..if there is any problem..call me ok..bye rancho.... thank u yaar! idiot, are you saying thank u to a friend....? is tat silencer teaching u manners?hanh? hasnt he told u..... friendship is the biggest sthan of a human! go go..now go..u guys have exam tomorrow,right? aare there are a lot of exams..... but dad is mostly only one.. now we'll take the post master sir n go only then!! racho..forgive me yaar..i was frightened! enough..enough.sshhh..quiet..quiet forgive me..!! enough..quiet! enough..quiet! go..meet dad..n dont go with such a gloomy face go.. thanks yaar go #..... he was our pal......# ur scooty saved a life today..its nice.. how much is it? put chutney n see..might be, it'll tel! aaaaaaeeeee.... hey happy independence day.... but today is not 15th august but it is so for u..now u can wear ur mom's watch whenever u want! nobody will say..y have u worn a 18th century watch n all tat!! bye hey how do u know tat it was my mom's watch? in a sister's wedding..if a girl is nicely dressed head to toe except for an old watch in the hand, wat does it mean? on tat day, u were missin ur mom a lot..right? yes ur mom must have been very beautiful, right? yes, how do u know? have u seen ur dad?.. life is a race..... if u dont run fast.... u'll be like a broken egg of the cuckoo bird today we'll teach you how to prepare chutney this chutney is very useful, this is not only to have, but its really useful to understand people too.. now the bad time has gone for you... now u can leave donkeys and start loving humans time is perfect for startin love.... temperature is constant... and the climate is clear n clean.... and if you felt love for someone.... sure its gonna rain on u............ hello..wake up!! wat..uncle passed away or wat!! wat? no stupid! its already 8:30.. at 9:00,the exam starts..u wanna go or not!! aare yaar..how can u leave him alone here n go! i'm there, doctors are there..n its only a matter of 3 hours comeon..take my scooter n go..now come on go..its getting late hey!! why have u worn an old watch! go!! sorry sir..we were late..emergency!! settle down there! sir they r still writing!! hello..time up!! sir..5 minutes sir..we were half-an hour late! it was an emergency sir..please please examiner looked at us like we asked for both his kidneys!! but we still continued to write while he was busy arranging papers according to roll numbers its over sir u're late!.. i cant take ur papers sir,please sir sir, do u know, who we are? even if u are prime minister's son, i wont accept ur paper! sir do u know our names n roll numbers?? no..who are u guys? u dont know..then..run run run run hey..wats ur roll number? where is it.. where is his paper? aaaahhh! today the results were gonna come scared and innocent!..all were busy striking a deal with god god..please save me with electronics, i'll break coconuts! oh snake-god!..save my physics..i shall send one litre milk everyday! oh cow-god!..just..just get me passing marks god..i'll treat malati n sangeeta like my sisters..please save my results god..god..i'll offer 100RS per month..surely god!..promise! nowadays, traffic constables also dont accept 100RS..as if god wud fall for it! check..check..check from below..check from below its your's yaar.. in the last and your's? second last! and rancho? its not there yaar! my heart sank, not because we were last but because our friend had failed! not posibble!. its fine chatur there is a mistake!..its not possible! this is injustice..injustice..oh god!! why is this idiot silencer shouting so much? he has come second.... idiot..whose first then? rancho! rancho...idiot.. move..move yaar we learnt something about human behaviour tat day if ur friend fails, u feel sad!.. but if ur friend comes first..u feel even more sad! on tat day..we were sad.. but there were two more people who were sadder than us ranchhoddas chhanchad..first row..right of the director! uday sinha..second row..third seat! alok mittal..second row..fifth seat! hey! sir..is it compulsory to sit acccording to our ranks? why, do u have any problem? sir, i have problem with entire grading system itself! its like caste-system sir!..A grade students-kings, C grade students-slaves! its not nice sir! do u have a better idea for this? yes sir, i do have! results should not be put up on a notice board.... why should we exhibit someone's weakness in front of all? now sir..if in ur blood test, the haemoglobin count is less.,. will the doctor give u tonic..or put up ur report on the TV? u see sir! so basically wat u're saying is i must go to each one's room one-by-one n say results in their ears! u've come first..u've come second..i'm so sorry, u failed! no sir,i dint mean tat way but the thing is..grade creates divide..divide now see..i've come first so i'm sitting with u.. whereas my friends have come last.. so they are seated in the last..in a corner atleat they r sitting in a corner now..if they continue being with u, next year they'll be out of the photo itself! neither will they pass nor any company will give them jobs! sir, they'll find a job some how sir.... there wil be atleast few companies.. which hire people n not machines for work! its not like tat sir..they'll find a job.. i guarentee oh..u guarentee it..u guarantee it! bets..bet?? govind.... if even one among those two get a job in the campus interview.. then shave my moustache! ok sir!! happy? happy sir! woahhhh!!!!.. by using car's horn..u wanna hide ur horn..idiot! idiot.. septic tank..u had the churan again...?? i dint do it.. raaaaju!!! hanh..... we've been very used to this hot air from those days.. this idiot is only responsible for global warming! i cant take it! give me..give me ur wallet..i'll go n buy a pant! leave it yaar..wear this chatur ramaalingam's suit's pant! hey dont u touch my suit! leave it yaar..rancho wil recognise u even without the pant! hey Mr.,where's this address? brother, if i was so educated....would i be selling groundnuts? he doesnt know to read but atleast he knows to speak! brother..here in shimla..is there any ranchhodas chhanchad?? yes..yes..he stays over there! #....he was like the fleeting wind.....# lets go! #....like a fluttering kite.....# #..... where did he go? let find him!......# oye chatur..here's is ur bottle of churan! oh thanks..where did u find it? it was in the pocket! hey..how dare u!..tats my pant.. hey wat mine..wat ur's..its written in gita! hey shut up... remove pants hey wat are u doing yaar!..people will misinterpret! mad..idiot! hey leave.. hey i want it now! wat happened? rancho's dad! brother, where can i find ranchhodas? he's sittin over there... thank you... rancho yes oh sorry.. we wish to meet ranchhodas i'm only ranchhodas..tel me? no..ranchhodas shyamaldas chhanchad i'm only ranchhodas shyamaldas chhanchad..tel me? rancho....take care of yourself! ranchhodas chhanchad!!! raju!! yaar..i must be the first man in history who travelled from delhi to shimla in underwear that too ..to meet a wrong person! yaar..the same name..the same degree..n the same photo but the person is different..wats the matter!..i'm unable to understand! but from where did silencer get rancho's address? yes! oye chatur!..come here hey..hey.. how dare u open this..i got this from san francisco its hand-made biscuit.. specially for Mr.phunsuk wangdu! phunsuk bangdu...now who is this? wangdu..wangdu..'W'..'W'...phunsuk wangdu.. do u know who that is?? he's a great scientist...400 patents..the world wants him! i have been chasing him from past one year..n the meeting has been fixed now! u know..once he signs a deal with my company..i'll be huge!..huge! now stop praising this wangdu n tell us from where did u get rancho's address? u should be thanking phunsuk wangdu..its because of him, tat i found a clue see this..my secretary tracey was here last month to arrange a meeting with phunsuk wangdu tracey cudnt get an appointment with phunsuk but i got rancho i checked shimla's phone directory..in that the name was..chhanchad ranchhodas then how did his appearance change?? he heard u r coming n got a plastic surgery done or wat? only one man can answer this! i'm sorry dad!.. i cudnt fulfil ur last wish! u kept on telling..take me to haridwar..take me to haridwar but i was waiting for the highway's tender to be opened the tender opened over there and u closed ur eyes over here! i'm so sorry dad!.. i could not be a good son! what are u saying yaar?.. u have become such a great engineer, the degree's been put up on the wall u r a very good son! how dare u enter my property without my permission, hanh? i'll put u behind bars! u'll go behind bars, idiot! we have investigated everything.. on the basis of ICE degree, u're taking these highway contracts and hydro projects this degree belongs to our friend..how did it come to u? its a 150 hectares property..i'll blow off ur heads and bury u in a corner..nobody will get to know!.. get the point!..now get lost! i'm taking dad's ashes and going to haridwar..if u say, i'll even take ur bones along with that! lift the dad!!!! over there..there there leave my dad! aeeeeee.. tell who u are..or else i shall immerse ur dad's ashes over here itself handover dad to me! dad's ashes wont go to ganga..they'll go into the gutter!! aeeee...remove dad from the pot...remove from the pot! if u press the trigger then i'll press the flush! see, 'll count till three..tats it!.. hey..whom are u scaring, hanh?..shoot! raju,put it in! one.. hey..we'll go to hell but along with that we'll even finish ur dad!..got it two.. then strain-strain n remove ur dad using a strainer! wat? we got the wrong one..this one is empty. empty??? empty?? empty..v'll empty it! no no v'll empty it..v'll empty it..i'm tellin u..v'll empty it noooooooo...hands up! come on tel..tel, who you are? aare, i'm ranchhodas yaa! aeeeeeeeeeee no..i swear on dad..i swear on dad..i'm tellin the truth yaar! i'm ranchhodas..he was chhote! chhote?????? he was the son of our gardener.. everyone used to call him chhote! even after his mom-dad passed away...dad let him stay in the house! he used to do odd house-hold works..u know changing bulbs..gettin eggs n bread..ironing..like he was very much interested in studies! he used to wear my old uniform n get into the school whichever class he liked..he would go n sit in that one! i used to take advantage of that.. i used to make him do my homework also and make him write my exam papers also i was having a good time! then one day.. master ji saw that a sixth standard child was solving a tenth standard problem which class u r in,son?..wats ur name? we were caught dad was a big man so master ji thought its better to tell him before telling the principal! u've beginned this..then u only wil end it! the whole himachal salutes in front of me.. but as soon as i turn away....behind my back, they call me an illiterate! this wont happen with my son! he wants education...and me..just..degree let it continue as it is...make this boy an engineer ranchhodas chhanchad's degree..over there..on that wall i want i went away to london for four years ..n he kept studyin in ICE using my name he had a deal with my dad that after gettin a degree from ICE he wont meet anyone from ICE in his whole lifetime! he usually said..i wont go meet anyone..but one day two idiots will come searching for me then wat wil u do? he misses u both a lot! i'll give u the address.. go meet him.. but dont tel my secret to anyone yaar..please! which secret? aeeeeeeeeee sir ji..u got d wrong glass..big sir is in this hey wat d hell is goin on?.. who was that gun man? u cant understand... ignore it..ignore it where are we going? ladakh ladakh?..why?? to meet rancho! is he in ladakh? what he doing over there? dont know..but this is a school's address! school teacher..he he he..master ji! i'm vice-president of rockledge corporation! and he..A for apple..B for Ball D for donkey next week, i'll be signing a multi-million dollar deal with phunshuk wangdu! and he..A for apple..B for ball today, my respect grew even more for that Idiot rancho! we all went to college only to get a degree.... if we dont have a degree, we wont have a job! if u dont have a job, no father will give his daughter's hand bank wont give credit card, n world wont respect us... but that idiot came to college, not for the degree but to study! he wasnt afraid to come last or greedy to come first! who was the first man to step on the moon? neil armstrong sir! obviously its neil armstrong, we all know it..but who was the second man? dont waste ur time, its not important! nobody remembers the man who ever came second! after two monthes..26 companies will come to this college to offer jobs to u all! that means before ur final exams, u'll have jobs on ur hands! this is ur last act my friends! put the medal on the pedal..press the accelerator go out there n make history any questions? yes.. sir, suppose any student gets a job and..... he fails in the finals by 1-2 marks.. then will the job remain or....? very good question is there any other person, in whose mind, the same question is arising? as expected please come on stage, everyone give them a big hand..come on the stage..come come...come..dont waste time! from past four years, they have been the most consistent students of ICE! because consistently, they've come last in every exam come my geniuses..come if we remove these two people's brains n sell in the market, we'll get a very gud price! because they r unused brain..never have been used! n to answer to their question whether they paas or fail, its not gonna affect their jobs because they r not gonna get jobs at all! i guarentee it their names will be written in gold FARHANITRATE n PRERAJULISATION!.. give them a big hand please..everybody! idiot, he raped completely... collective rape u know..in front of..in front of everyone! god...i'll stop eating non-veg..i'll light thousands of incense sticks! do only one thing.. take away VIRUS from this world! burn him in hell.. make hot pakkodas of him in hot oil....god.. aeee are u giving god a contract to kill? idiot u sit quietly, hanh.. idiot every year u sit in the centre with VIRUS n take photo while we'll be rotting in the side this year i think we'll be finished out of the photo itself! aee.. do u know why i come first? why? because i'm in love with machines engineering is my passion..passion do u know wats ur passion? hey tats my bag.. keep quiet man! wat are u doin, rancho? hey.. this is ur passion..this..this go n post this letter.. but wat is it? andre..isthawa ya..isthawa he wanted to go to him..go to hungary n learn work from him! but fearing his dad, due to hitler qureshi, he never posted the letter at all! aare..quit engineering..n become a wild life photographer! do that work which u are talented in! if lata mangeshkar's dad would have told her to become a fast bowler or sachin tendulkar's father would have told him to be a singer.. then think..where would they stand today! are u understanding, what i'm sayin? idiot..he loves animals but is marrying machines! ae baba ranchhodas.. my girlfriend n wife..both are engineering itself then y do i come last..tel? because u are a coward..coward see this..see his hand..the fingers are less..and the rings are more one for exam..one for sister's marriage n one for job aare..if u fear so much from the future..u think u can live? and where wil u focus on today? i've got weird friends yaar one fears and lives..and one idiot..dies and lives! heyy but u idiot..do both the things.. u fear also and die also... ae..i dont fear! hey..listen he dies on pia and fears to tell aaaaaaaahehheee go go..get lost its easy to give free advise dude but difficult to follow it if u dare..then go n tell pia..tel hey from where n all u guys r connecting things.. there's full connection baba listen to me..listen to me what i say is..if u go and tell pia about what u feeling then even i'll go and tel my dad that i wanna be a photographer.. and dont wanna be an engineer yes even i'll remove all my rings and go to give interview now say say..do u dare.. baba rancchodas rolled his tongue back....what will he say? come.. come... where... where.? mmm hmm.. come... veeru, jay has come veeru!!! see..see if there's any dog! hey cowards...im not afraid of anythin....come! hey u guys get in..if there's any danger outside..i'll give VIRUS alert! idiot..VIRUS..old man! hey shall i give background music? pia? sshhhhh..dont shout.. i'm ranchhodas chhanchad listen to me for 2mins then i'll go away [raju singing...... on background] [dont say anythin, dont at all say anythin!..] pia, the 22minutes tat i spent with u on the scooter those were the most beautiful 22minutes of my life! i can spend the rest of my life on the scooter with u wow! #.......everythin is still.......# do u know..u come on scooter everyday wearin a bride's costume in my dreams! instead of the veil... takes off ur helmet! and you come near me to kiss me but that kiss wont happen yaar... why? beacuse nose comes in between and then i wake up nose doesnt come in between, stupid i'm sorry..i thought u were pia.. i wish i was sister, why did u interrupt in between? he took 4 years to say this pia kiss him n tell him, nose doesnt come in between you have my permission kiss him yaar..hez so cute who is this? sister who r u? do u know..when u were speakin..he kicked..first time! he..how do u know its a he or she? dad had asked the astrologer.. he wanted to know,is an engineer coming home or a doctor? means? means if its a boy, then its an engineer and if its a gal, then its a doctor oye champ..u stay inside itself..outside there's a lot of circus! and the circus's ringmaster, your granfather will spin the hunter and say run! life is a race..run..be an engineer but you become watever your heart says if he scares you too much keep a hand on ur heart n say AAL IZZ WEll! he kicked! say again ..AAL IZZ WELL! ALL IZZ WEll! yes..he kicked..he kicked..pia say ALL IZZ WELL!. .ALL IZZ WELL! goooooooo! you send letter to my dad!.... take this pee-mail freely from us pigeon..go go go.. pigeon go go go... pigeon go go go whoz it? whoz it? your coming son-in-law..idiotic VIRUS..and marriage attenders! rastogi!! security..that way..that way!!! so u all have already learnt about the simple pendulum now lets get down to the advanced study about compound pendulum its an irregular object oscillating about its own axis let me demonstrate to u wats this?? pencil wats inside it? lead! good! lead is the axis to this pencil even u can be a compound pendulum if u osscilate about where is raju rastogi? present sir! hi..everybody is here good morning sir.. where were u last night? sir, he was studyin sir..he was studyin whole night sir! really? he hasnt slept since two nights, thats why he's lookin like this sir! wat are u sayin! wat were u studyin? ummmm.. induction motors sir..induction motor..he studied fully sir..induction motor! in tat case, mr.raju rastogi.. yes sir........ can u tel me how an induction motor starts? brrrrm.. brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.. brrrrrrrrrr..... stop it! brrrrrrrrrrmmm brmmmmm brmm brm sir..rum!! mr.rastogi, lets have a cup of tea in my office sir close the door do u know how to type? yes sir can u type a letter for me? definitely sir come sit sir i'm sorry sir please type dear sir, it is my painful duty to inform u that ur son is restigated.. no no sorry..delete it delete it..go back! ur son mr.raju rastogi is restigated from the IMPERIAL COLLEGE OF ENGINEERING! come on..type type..come on..go on dad will die sir.... please type sir,please sir my decision is final and irrevokable! he's living only in a hope that he could see me becoming an engineer sir! you could've thought of this before you pissed in front of my doors... sir give me one more chance sir, please..just one chance sir please sir ok..remove ur name from the letter and put rancchodas chhanchad's name! i know he was with you last night! be my witness and i wont remove u from the college you have 7.5 minutes with you..to think #......we wont let you go .......# #.......we shall not let you leave.......# #.......even if god might summon you.......# #.....but we are not the one who fear him.....# #.....we are standing here in this ground with resolve.....# #.....take out our eyes from our pal....# #....no matter how hard you try.....# #....we're not gonna let you leave lik this.....# #......we wont let you go .......# #.......we shall not let you leave.......# rancho, look at that monitor raju! the body is paralyzed due to the shock but the mind is alert he can see us and hear us! please aunty, dont cry in front of him! talk to him normally.. motivate him.. crack jokes.. keep him happy oye raju, we have a good news yaar dad is become proper yaar.... that new medicine worked! its rastogi family's tradition tat.. if one man gets up.. the other man will lie down! comeon comeon..getup now your dad is askin for pia's scooter? wat do u say?..shall i give it? wont he bang it? hey raju, farhan wants to tell u somethin on the webcam..live from the hostel! see this..virus has cancelled ur suspension..problem solved comeon..wake up atleast now! everythin is solved... oye..are u listening....hey rastogi!! see this..mom bought a new saree..new saree brand new it costs 2000 bucks son..see atleast get up now..idiot not one..she bought ten sarees..ten! see oye raju raju..tel me,how do i look? hey..kammo have u heard about kammo? aare, kammo's marriage has been fixed and tat too..without any dowry! hey..bridegroom..the bridegroom doesnt want maruti 800 doesnt want anything..wants kammo..only kammo.. hanh... n do u know whoz the bridegroom? yes whoz the bridegroom? guess it u know him very well hanh... he loves animals a lot hanh..???!! and ..and he's gonna be a wild life photographer! hey keep quiet!..keep quiet! didnt flash?? aare,its our farhan yaar! as if our farhan will take dowry from u ppl! aare, our farhan will marry ur sister..farhan! and that too..free..free..free hey..hey.. hey..hey raju raju if we would have given 1 kilo lady's finger and 1/2 kilo paneer freely to that idiot, even then he wud get up what was the need to sacrifice me? well done yaar..well done well done everything is fixed..ur sister's marriage is fixed farhan will marry..ok done!!! rancho!!.. idiots..how much wil u lie?? u r saved..idiot!! did u call for a taxi? i have called for it,... its waiting thank you,,.. why? i have to go 4 a job interview oh..so u gonna go with me? no..i'll drop u home n i'll go for the job interview! idiot..why will i go home? did u forget?.. we had promised something to this idiot! give..give me ur tie! why? give it..i dont think after reading this, u'll be able to go for the interview! what is this? its a letter its come for u..from hungary! its some photographer..andre isthawan! idiots..u posted my letter? he liked ur photos very much..he's become crazy! he wants to make u his assistant! he has called you to work in the brazilian rainforest for one year! he's sayin..he'll even give u salary! dad wont oblige! go to him..n make him understand lovingly.. dont fear today farhan.. otherwise after 50yrs when u'll be old and fallen in the hospital... and be waiting to die u'll think then..letter was in the hand..taxi was at the gate.. if i had dared a little bit..life would have been somethin else! wat do u think, will he like it? what was the need to get such an expensive one! today, son is getting a job now the days to put our head up and roam wid pride are arriving n u r being stingy!..hanh? aare farhan? farhan, today was ur interview..right? i dint go i dont wanna be an engineer dad! wat happened..u had an an accident? sir..umm.. that building in front sir.. i had jumped off its third floor sir! why? because i was restigated! why? sir i had pissed on director's door when i was in a drunken state... that devil rancho is still playin with ur brain? i cant understand engineering..even if i'll be..i'll be a very bad engineer dad! rancho tells a very simple thing.. whatever u enjoy doing, make that ur profession! then work wont seem work but a game! aare..how much will u earn in that jungle? dad, stipend is'nt too much but i'll get to learn a lot! after 5yrs, when u'll see ur friends buying a car then u'll curse urself! i'll be frustrated being an engineer, then i'll curse you throughout my life! dad,its better i curse myself..right? aare..people will laugh!! they'll say that you came till final year and had quit! that kapoor sir told me that u're lucky that ur son is studyin in ICE! what will he think? kappor sir din get AC fixed in my room! makin me sleep comfortably..he himself din sleep in heat! makin me sit on the shoulders..kapoor sir din take me around the zoo! u did all that dad! what u think, makes a difference! wat kapoor sir thinks, it doesnt make a difference to me! aare..i dont even know his first name! have u watched a film n come..are u performing drama? stop it now.. poor guy is tensed! god forbid..if he commits something like raju! then the discussion is only over! dont say anything to son or else he'll jump from the terrace! no dad..i wont commit suicide!.. i promise! that rancho.. whom u call a devil!.. he forcibly made me put ur's and mom's photo in this! he started sayin that....promise me....that whenever such stupid thoughts come to ur mind! see this photo and think what will happen to this smile when they see ur dead body! dad, i wanna convince u!.. but not by hanging this suicide's sword on ur head! what will happen.... hanh? if i be a photographer....then i'll earn less right?.. home will be small, car will be small! but dad, i'll be happy.. i wil be really happy! whatever i do for u..i'll do it from my heart! till today..i have listened to whatever u said, today..just once..let me listen to my heart! please dad! dad..dont go..please! return this one.. son, how much will ur professional camera cost? will we get it against this laptop? if it costs more money, then ask me son go..go son..live ur life yourself marks are consistenly poor.. any particular reason? due to fear..i was a bright student since childhood parents thought that it will abolish our poverty! i started to fear! when i came here.. i saw that there's a race,.. if u dont come first, no one will recognize u i started to fear even more! fear is not good for grade, sir! i started wearing more rings..praying more not only praying..i started begging to god give me this, give me that! sir, today i havent told god..tat get me this job i just folded my hands..n said thank u 4 this life if u guys..if u guys even reject me today..then i dont have any regrets because i believe..i'll somehow do something worthy with my life sir! see..this very much frank behaviour of ur's is not good for our company! we need a diplomatic person to handle the clients and u are way too straightforward! but..if u assure us that u can control this attitude of ur's.. then..something can happen!!! sure after breaking both the limbs, i learnt to stand on my feet sir, with great difficulty, i got this attitude in me!..it wont cant happen sir! u keep ur job, i'll keep my attitude i'm sorry..dont mind sir! stop i've been recruiting from the past 25years.. conducted a lot of interviews to get the job.. people find yes in our yes itself! from where have u come yaar??.. sir..i?? how much salary will u take brother?..lets discuss thank u sir.. thank u oh emperor.... you're great accept out gift... govind...............!!!!!!!!!!! sir you only told if they get job, remove your moustache..... hanh,.... what have you done? he eh ehehehheehheeeehhe im feeling like someone undressed me humiliated me.... i wont let you conquer, rastogi you gonna get job only when you pass in final exams,,,, but this time im gonna set the paper for exam........ dad thats not fair everything is fair in love and war.... and this is world war 3 rastogi you're gone this time.... hehe heheheee what are you doin here? easy easy.... you're drunk? ya yaar, had to take two, four... two... four?? two or four? i was in need of dareness... for what? to steal this.... what is this? a duplicate key of VIRUS's office sshh ssshh sshhhs questions papers are in the red sealed envelope.... dad has set by himself.... to fail raju in exam.. take it out... mad or wat?? this is cheating yaar... no.. everything is fair in love and war eeheh eheheh ok... just tell me one thing,... do you really feel... nose comes in between if wanted to kiss? hmmm... ey have this dhokla... hold this, u gujrati people are too cute yaar.. but why does your food sound so dangerous? dhokla, phaphda, handhwa, thepla, kakkrah its seems as though they are some missiles! come..come on tonight bush dropped two dhoklas..400 killed, 200 injured! come on.. aare i can bear with khakrah, phaphda but this name of ur's ranchhodas shyamaldas chhanchad! yack!! i wont change my surname after marriage, hanh? pia, we cant get married why?.. do u love someone?.. no are u a gay? no then why dont u propose me?.. are u impotent? then prove it..prove it pia..i'm not.. hey stop stop stop stop! aare, wat happened? aare, we havent informed pia at all! oh stop now..my bladders are bursting!!.. oh shutup yaar! are u in touch with her? no yaar but i have her landline no. then dial it, i'll stop.. ya..stop stop stop hello! no place to piss in this country?? hello..ya..is pia there? she's not there sir ok..where will she be availiable?..in the hospital? sir, why will she go to hospital today.. its her marriage today! she's gone to manali! pia marriage is over! its not yet over..see, its a 6 hour's way..if we speed up, then we'll surely reach before the marriage vows! wat do u say? now if u have already thought about it partner, then take a u-turn! ae, no u-turn..straight to ladakh..we'll meet rancho n come back.. friday, i have a meeting with phunsukh wangdu come..come..sit in the car if i miss it, u know wat will happen! the japanese will get in.. they are offering him a first name in the company phunshuk n fujiashi..profit hearings are.... pia weds suhas!! and thanks for the suit, hanh! yaar..virus will suffer a heart attack hello.., hello whenever his daughters are getting married..we come off to ruin it! ok listen..i'll handle pia..u pull out the price-tag! farhan! we found rancho, pia! is it for 107?.. yes sir! give it here.. how much time do u take yaar? sorry sir.. come on..go house-keeping sir! come in! more..more..amore quick quick iron my sherwani! more..more..amore aare, we found rancho..still, will u marry this donkey? u're mad, farhan! dont fool urself pia! you love rancho even today.. n eating these dhoklas remembering him! more..more..amore he's a dog's tail..put it inside a pipe for 12years.. when u remove it..it'll still remain bent! shutup farhan..suhas is the changed man! now he never talks about brands n prices! my 1.5lakh worth sherwani!!!!!!!!! why do u people eat chutney??? sir'i'll do something sir! wat..wat will u do? sir..sir..we get such shirts n sherwanis everyday in our laundry sir! i'll clean it within 2minutes sir! sir..one minute sir! get it soon! but its too late now, farhan! pia..pia..come, its getting late!..comeon pia..i'm raju..dont shout, people will kill me where is suhas? aare, he had come from house-keeping..he took away the sherwani!! go inside..n send suhas the hymns are going on pia..if i get up n go then all will be furious yaar! yes farhan, tel me car is ready at the gate i'm telling..take pia n run! aare dont move yaar sir?? sherwani?? u are here? yes whose taking the vows over there? vows? if the vows get over..then our marriage will be over..i'm already married pia..lets go! there are so many people over here..all of the will laugh!! aare, because people laugh..so will u suicide? aare..rastogi?? pia.. people will gossip for two days n forget it! but today if u do this marriage..u never forget that car was at the gate! we had come to take u to rancho..but only because u feared from people u got married to this donkey! house keeping?? yaar pia..there is a small..minor tension.. what? we dont know if rancho's married or not? wat!! aare, i would'nt have happened yaar..it would'nt have happened! and if it would've happened? then we'll drop u back! aare, dont take tension..have this biscuit hand-made biscuit from san-francisco idiot,,,. from where did he come? ignore it..ignore it.. u eat the biscuits..eat.. its very good AAL IZZ WELL..AAL IZZ WELL! till yesterday i was a noble citizen of this country but in the last 24hours..i had got an emergency landin of a plane almost immersed shyamalda's soul in the gutter and kidnapped a bride from her wedding all for that idiot rancho but even tat idiot gave out his heart for his friends he had entered ravan's territory, to steal a question paper for raju search for a red sealed envelope ok come... he was very afraid..that if raju failed, he'll again go n do a high-jump! but even we were very principled robbers! we had sweared tat we'll steal the paper oly 4 raju..we wont even c it ourselves! aare yaar,where has he hidden it? aare yaar, searching like this, it'll be good morning rancho, ask pia where are u, since then i'm callin u? pia, ur phone give it to me, one minute pia..pia jiju..when we say AAL IZZ WELL..it kicks! it kicked u heard? pia, your phone we got it..rancho.. hello?? aare atleast call me sometimes!! make its copy..make its xerox copy..quick! take it keep it wherever we got it from... carefully! oye where had you been???? hanh? hanh?? take this... what is it?? enjoy.... question paper.... VIRUS's had set by himself to make you fail in exam.... weird friends i've got.... teaching how to live straight forward first.... then makin me do things that are odd... no..today.. if i pass, it'll be on my own ability! otherwise its ok if i fail! idiot! idiot won my heart!..my heart said i'll make this idiot my brother-in-law um.. um... then i controlled my emotion! go..go.. no sir no sir please.. u had come to change the system! u'll piss on my door bloody rascals sorry sir you are restigated, if u r'nt gone by morning..i'll call the police i'll call the police rascals..rascals all of u! how did he get my office's key? i gave him the keys dad i wish i had given it to my brother he would have been alive today.. stop it pia what do u think?..brother, fell off the train and died? shutup pia you decided that he'll be an engineer..... did you ever ask him, what he wanted to be? how much you pressurised brother, dad.. he thought its easier to die than to give an entrance exam! what is she saying? dad, you go into the room! you get into your room! pia stop it..wat r u doin pia!..i'm tellin u right.. brother wanted to study literature..he wanted to be a writer but he could'nt write anything more than this suicide note! pia, hide that letter..please! till when will i hide it sister? once only once if u would have told him if u can do engineering then quit it! do whatever you like! then today brother would have been alive, dad! he cannot suicide u're right dad, it wasnt a suicide... it was a murder! in many areas..the roads are immersed in water..their is total traffic jam! dad.. dad!!.. mona.... aare, i told you to go back right? then why are you coming behind us? why..is this your mom's road? please help..we are desperate here! is there only one ambulance in the city? get an ambulance from some other hospital! the whole city is immersed in water, sir we cant do anythin! no..pia..that.. hey mona..wat happened? rancho..pia! rancho, its impossible to reach over here.... so do as i say! you guys are not understanding!..get water bags..drive fast!!..u're not underst....... they disconnected!! monaa! monaa! be careful..be careful turn on the light..turn on the light! table..table..table-tennis table raju, switch on the webcam! yaa ya pia.. hello raju..where is sister....show me!! ya..hold on hold on dont worry.. hold on see this pia sister ,everything will be alright! i'm near u..ok? pia i'm dying.. rancho, when there were no hospitals and doctors in this world even then babies were born... you guys will carry on sister's delivery aaaaa aal izz well..aal izz well.. how dare you...??? wat are you guys doing? dad, dont come in between..please stay out of this ok!! farhan, you go get towels and scissors.... millimeter, get cloth drying clip and hot water.... rancho you cover sister... sister.... push push..push..come on.. push.... keep quiet..i'm unable to push rancho, see if crowning is happening? crowning means? go get that diagram rancho, see if the head is coming out come on rancho..quickly gooooooo go go go..go rancho..go..come on no..no crowning..its not coming..no sister.. please push mona.. mona she's tired pia.. wake her up if she doesnt push, then it'll be a big problem vacuum cup has to be put, pia from where will they get a vacuum cup over there... wat is a vacuum cup?..how does it look?..wat do they do with it? i'll show u if the mother gets tired and is unable to push then this cup is put on the baby's head suction pump creates vacuum and this cup sticks on the baby's head then the baby is pulled out i can make this..i can make it how? vacuum cleaner sir.. vacuum cleaner??.. yes sir..vacuum cleaner but vacuum cleaner's pressure is too much rancho i'll control the pressure is there a vacuum cleaner over there? its there in my office farhan go soon and get it from sir's office take the key mona..push mona..come on push wat happened? wat happened? ya pia hello raju wat happened? the light is gone pia oh god!!..now how wil the vacuum cleaner work farhan, you get the vacuum cleaner and i shall get the light.. how? millimeter..get virus out..fast come on come virus..get out..get out aare not this virus yaar.. my virus, the inverter that i had made that? go get that soon oh ok..that one..i understood!!! raju..wake everyone in the hostel and tell them that we want car battery, wires, tool kit and vaccuum gauge.. come on come out..there's an emergency in the common room where is rancho? sir sir sir..here sir everyone keep the batteries over here..comeon..quickly! and the wires raju.. turn off all switches and connect this inverter to main... take this rancho, vacuum cleaner... farhan.... that camera cleaning thing..what do u call it? plower..plower..go n get it soon rancho, take this plower pull the vaccuum and put it on the pipe..over here! rancho..its done! is every swiches off? now turn on only TT table's n computer's light! raju, turn on the computer..fast! help me..connect this..put it in this! pia..come soon..pia..come soon love u rancho farhan..on it yes pia, how much must the suction be? not more than 0.5 rancho farhan..0.5 cover up yes ok delivery using vacuum cleaner..i havent seen this in 20 yrs of my career! farhan..off it.. yeah raju, get on the table..see me push the baby down like this..like this farhan, turn it on.. come on sister....push..u can do it! come on mona..push..come on think abt champ..for champ..come on come on mona..mona push its coming..its coming come on sister....you can do it farhan..turn it off.. ya ya..i turned it off put two clips..and cut the umbical chord farhan, get two clips..fast! put it on the umbical chord and get scissors careful careful get the towel..towel pia..pia,,,why isnt it cryin? hanh?.. hey hey champ rancho rub its back hey champ no..nothin is happening.. blow air into its mouth.. come on.. come on champ nothin is happening queit mona..quiet.. say all izz well.. say aal izz well it kicked what!!! it kicked say aal izz well.. all izz well all izz well all izz well all izz well all izz well all izz well all izz well all izz well yeah!!!! at that time if VIRUS would have told that his grandson would have been an engineer... i would have raped that idiot! but when that idiot opened his mouth, then a miracle happened! solid you kick.. will u become a footballer or what? become..become whatever ur heart says stop....where are u going?.. i'm not finished with you, on the first day of college, you had asked me a question....remember? that why dont they use a pencil in the space.. if the tip of the pencil breaks in the space, then it will be revolving under the action of gravity it can get into someone's eyes, it can get into someone's nose it can get into the instrument panel.. u were wrong..u were wrong you cannot be right all the time! you understand?? yes sir this was a very important invention.... you understand? yes sir my director had told me.... when any extraordinary student comes... go go go...go study... pass in the exams and go away from here...... and now student of the year.. ranchhodas shyamaldas chhanchad sir..one photo sir! i wanted to capture all these memories in my camera n take it with me! on that day, everyone were hugging each other, getting emotional and making promises that we'll stay in touch, we'll surely meet up once in a year! who knew that we were seeing rancho for the last time? yaar, untie him! i'll sue you all in american court! raju.. this kinda school..... only can be made by that idiot rancho! but where is he? see there.. go in creatures..... go dont piss over here... u want a beating, hanh? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha.. we got him.... that idiot is some where around.. come on brother, where will we find ranchhodas? is his name ranchhodas!!! rancho chote..chote..chote aare, whats his name ultimately? aare, cool down.... cool down come with me.. where.. where is rancho? rancho..rancho farhan, do u know.....he has read every book written by u!!..see this raju.... he reads ur blogs everyday! he tells the children about ur research very proudly! do u remember your helmet pia sister? it was stolen right? who are you?.. and how do u remember all our names? didnt you recognize me? no how will u recogzine.. now that millimeter has become centimeter! oye oye oye..idiot..what centimeter..u have become kilometer!!! but what are you doing over here? for the first time, i got a letter on my name.. i found a train ticket from tat it was written inside that if you wanna study then board the train! and i boarded it.. idiot rancho.. where is tat idiot? furjee.. take this n go!!! you come in my dreams everyday on a scooter wearing a bride's costume ! instead of the veil.. you take off your helmet! and you come near me to kiss me! aaaaaaah..ouch! could nt you tell and go? ummmm..no.. ummmm...sorry did u get married? wat?..wat?.. no..u? almost, idiot! then? then what? do you love someone? hmm.. ya who? you..! did you see, the nose does'nt come in between, stupid! yes, thats right! idiot rancho! hi, farhan! aare keep your hi to yourself! aare listen to me! no, you listen to me aare..u listen to me..listen to me, no,u listen to me, i'll explain everything hey raju idiot!! look here... aeee.idiot hit him..hit him two-three from my side aswell because of you, what all i had to become..u know? this idiot got glasses! come.. getup idiot.. getup ha ha eh ehhe hehhhee hey idiot! having fun idiots? hey.. hi chatur ranchhodas chhanchad..... namaste masterji where have u reached?..u have become a teacher in the village, eh? A for apple.. B for ball we boarded the bus together right but your train went away in reverse straight to primary teacher from engineering ha ha ha ha whats the salary chanchhad?..tell me..Rs 5000, hanh? for me, they are like 100 dollars my son's pocket money is more than your salary hey stop this non-sense he used to do non-sense.. he wanted to change the education system he wanted to change the world now he changes children's diaper over here! will you break his teeth or shall i break it?..idiot hey let it be! do you remember...i had told u.. one day you'll cry and i'll laugh hehehe hahhaa sign over here.. accept it.. that and lost and i won! the declaration of defeat.. unbelivable yaar.. chatur.. unbelivable hey, that is virus's pen how did you get it.. you stole it? umm..now what shall i say yaar? this is for winners.. not losers no problem.. if u have any difficulty in school and need a donation to call my assistant, eh! ha ha ehe he e A for apple..B for ball he has'nt changed at all yaar yaar..ignore it,..ignore it! leave him yaar..he'll keep sayin anythin leave it..the good news is ur name is not ranchhodas chhanchad imagine.... after marriage i would be pia chhanchad! yack by the way, whats your real name? phunshuk wangdu wangdu? pia wangdu? no.. means u r a scientist? tat means u have 400 patents in ur name? i wont change my surname after marriage means you are chatur's wangdu? are the japanese looking for you? i dont like wangdu! i think so... yaar tell me one thing.. are you a scientist or a teacher? i'm a scientist but i also teach children means you are the phunshuk wangdu?? yes man..yes oye silencer.. hey chathur comeback! stop stop stop take van, hanh? ehhehe hehe he wont stop that way!.. i'll stop him! Mr.wangdu.. i cant believe u called! i'm sorry mr.chatur but i cant sign a deal with your company! what sir, what happened sir? aare how shall i sign yaar.. you took away my pen! he heh ehehe what pen sir?.. i did'nt get you the one thats in your hand.. virus's pen!! virus's pen?? mr.wangdu? ya tell me chatur! A for Apple..B for Ball.... L for lucky! ehhe ehhee yaar, he has been raped!! eh ehhehee u got me.. u got me rancho i mean mr.wangdu.. totally flowd me.. good one i hope our personal problems are not gonna affect our deal.... hey chatur..over here..here i was just joking yaar.. i knew it from within that you'll do something in life! no.. u're lying? no no no no.. i'm tellin you.. i swear rancho 100..chatur zero you win, i lose.. you dont believe me aare yaar oh emperor, you are great.. accept the gift i'll give you a free advice mr.wangdu..run!! run run.. hey rancho.. i'll lose my job yaar... i have small-small kids baba ranchhodas used to say rightly kids.... be self-efficeient.. self-efficient then success will come behind u |
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