1
(IMPOSING ORCHESTRATED MUSIC)
(TENSE, AMBIENT MUSIC)
(CHIRPING)
(PANTING)
(QUICK FOOTSTEPS PATTING)
- (YELPS)
- Where did everybody go?
I don't know. (PANTING)
Let's get outta here.
Okay.
Help!
MAN: Help, hey!
- Help!
- Help!
(RADIO CHATTERING)
What the hell are
you doing, Jesse? Gina?
- It's following!
- All right, take it easy!
Tell me what's going on.
(UNEARTHLY GURGLING)
(GINA SCREAMS)
(SNARLING)
Get in the car.
(DOOR SLAMS)
(UNEARTHLY HISSING)
(SCREAMING)
GINA: Holy shit!
(UNEARTHLY ROARING)
(SCREAMS)
(RATTLING)
(SCREAMING)
(SNORING)
(SNARLING)
Wow, you lasted a whole 10 minutes
into the movie this time.
That's a new record.
It's my one and only super power.
All right, let's get
you upstairs, you old man.
Sexy time?
You're too tired.
MAN: We'll see about that. (CHUCKLES)
Ah!
MAN: Okay.
Okay, okay.
WOMAN: I dunno how
you put it to your face.
Aww.
Shit in your beard.
You said you want me to shave my face?
No, you can't shave.
Why not?
'Cause I have short hair,
you have the rest of the hair.
You're the girl, I'm the guy.
- You do not look like a boy.
- I do.
Maybe, like, you know, a
really effeminate Peter Pan,
but not a boy.
Do you want to see Master
Blaster 2000 next week?
- Nobody wants to see Master...
- Please, please.
- Yes, they do.
- No.
TV: In Amherst, New York.
What's in it for me?
TV: National attention
because Dr. Clukian
was the gynecologist who also...
I think you know what's in it for you.
TV: He was killed at the
kitchen of his own own home
by a high powered rifle
shotgun some distance away.
(FAUCET RUNNING)
(EERIE, TINKLING MUSIC)
MAN: Comin' in hot.
Oh.
(KISSING)
- Baby?
- Yeah?
WOMAN: Let's get married again.
(MAN LAUGHS)
- No!
- Why?
No.
Don't you remember how expensive that was?
Well, then let's just go to Vegas.
Are you serious?
WOMAN: Mm-hmm.
- Okay!
- Mm-hmm.
(GENTLE MUSIC)
I love you.
I love you, too.
WOMAN: Forever.
Forever and more.
(KISSING)
(RADIO STATIC TUNING)
(CLICKS)
(RADIO STATIC CRACKLING)
(RADIO STATIC CRACKLES)
Ugh, is this broken?
(MAN GROANS)
Baby, I'm gonna get a glass of water.
(TRAIN HORN BLOWS)
(CRICKETS CHIRP)
(FAUCET RUNNING)
(DEEP HUMMING)
(EERIE, AMBIENT MUSIC)
(GASPS)
(GLASS SHATTERING)
(GUN FIRES)
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
(WHIMPERS)
Carina!
Hey, hey, what happened?
What happened?
Carina!
You're okay.
You're okay.
Carina, tell me what happened.
Hey, it's okay, Carina.
(SOBBING)
It's okay.
(POLICE SIREN WAILS)
I am.
Okay?
It's my job.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, love you, too.
PARTNER: Trouble at home?
It's all good.
What's goin' on here?
I'm not sure.
This young couple called
in a double suicide bit.
What do you mean you don't know?
I'm sorry.
This is a federal matter now.
Who're you?
Call this number, he'll
explain the situation.
Look, wait a second...
Just call the number.
We've also contacted your
superior to explain the matter.
(ZIPPING)
Yeah, so there's that.
In all your years, have
anything like this ever happened?
(EERIE, FOREBODING MUSIC)
Hello?
(KNOCKING)
Yup, I'm comin'.
(KNOCKING)
Sorry for the early
morning wake up call.
Is it a good time to talk?
Carina.
Hey.
Carina, hey.
There's somebody here
that wants to talk to you.
Carina, we gotta talk about
last night, all right?
There's someone here's gonna
ask you a couple questions.
All right?
Okay.
All right, this is Detective...
Detective Anthony Barker.
Your husband John was
kind enough to let me in
to ask you all some questions
regarding last night's incident.
Uh, that is if you're feeling up to it.
Carina, was it?
Okay, uh, Carina, John told me
that you was the only witness
for last night's incident.
Can you explain what you saw?
Um, pain?
Pain.
I'm sure it was painful, but...
There were two of them.
There was one laying on the ground dead,
and, um,
and the other one looking at me.
(UNEASY AMBIENT MUSIC)
(SOBS)
(STAMMERS)
Um,
that's fine, if I need
anything, I'll be in touch.
Hey, can I ask you somethin'?
Uh, sure, what about?
If you can give me any information,
like names, motives.
Sorry.
Look, my wife, she's freaked out.
I gotta tell her somethin'.
I'm sorry, I can't.
To be honest,
to be honest, I don't know
what happened last night.
Okay?
But I promise you, as soon
as I find out anything,
I'll let you know.
What do you even mean...
I'm sorry to bother you, sir.
Are you Mr. John Maxi?
Yeah, I'm John Maxi.
Is Mrs. Maxi home?
Uh, you know, no, she's not, so, um,
uh, excuse me?
What the shit?
Yeah, the wife got me out on the couch.
I will, but right after
I'm done with this case.
Look,
something's really not
right that's goin' on here.
Isn't this the reason we became cops?
PARTNER: You're one of
the good ones, Anthony.
Anyway, I found a similar
case from a few years back.
This poor guy claims he saw a man
turn into a lizard person.
So now what?
PARTNER: Yeah, the crazy
bastard moved to Nevada
and has been living just
outside Area 51 ever since.
He's got a website, Tom
the Conspiracy Theorist.
Sending you a link now.
All right, thanks, man, I appreciate it.
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
(CAR HORN HONKS)
Come on.
What?
It's the Master Blaster thing.
I thought you loved that.
What's that?
Role play sex?
Excuse me.
Can you guys tell me
more about your tours?
Hi, I'm Isabelle, this
is my boyfriend Desmond.
What the heck, Isabelle?
Oh, hey, guys.
I'm Desmond, what can I do for ya?
Um, it says you guys
are conspiracy theorists.
Wait, have you guys actually traveled
to all these places?
Most of them.
We're hardcore enthusiasts
trying to find out the answers
to what the government
doesn't want us to know about.
Wait, do you mean like
ghosts and things like that?
(SCOFFS) You mean spirits?
Yes, yes, of course.
So you guys, like,
actually seen anything?
We've been to some
pretty terrifying places,
but personally, I haven't seen anything.
Well, where are you going next?
Well, we're getting
a small group together
to camp out at Area 51
at the end of the month.
You guys should totally come with us.
DESMOND: And bring your friends.
That sounds epic.
Awesome!
Just sign up right here,
and we'll give you a
couple in a couple of weeks
when we have everything set up.
CARINA: Awesome, sounds good.
All right, all right, yay.
Camping, aliens.
Master Blaster 2, come on.
Are you sure you wanna do this?
Yeah!
Come on, it'll be fun.
Really, like, I been trying to be cool,
like, the last couple months,
I know you're coping with
a lot since that night,
but this is just a little much.
Aw, are you scared we'll
actually find something?
I mean, a jail cell?
Oh my God, John, you
know me better than that.
I mean, do I?
Because over the last couple months,
I know you've just been
coping with so much
that you've just been researching
nonstop on the internet.
All these conspiracy theories,
and like all this stuff.
Listen, I swear I'm fine.
Let's just do this one last thing,
and then it's over, okay?
I promise.
All right.
- I love you.
- I love you.
Hey!
It's me, Brother B.
And I've come with a very
special message for you today,
and it's about aliens,
and how they are among us,
and how the government
is covering them up.
And based on the
substantial evidence that...
Hey, you ready yet?
BROTHER B: Local authorities,
and these might know
- it is true.
- Hello, Carina.
JOHN: You in there?
There is no Carina, only Zuul.
All right, well, as long as
you pay rent, I don't care.
No, come on!
There's only five more minutes!
Aren't you gonna get enough
of that stuff this weekend?
CARINA: What the hell?
Hey, you know we got
a front door, right?
(CHUCKLES) Oh, I'm sorry, man.
I shoulda called first.
(TAPPING)
(JOHN SIGHS)
Are you goin' somewhere?
Yeah, uh, I'm actually
taking the wife up to Area 51.
Mm.
That's your idea of a romantic getaway?
Yeah, I mean, no, but since that night,
she's Just been like researching
government conspiracies,
and, you know.
What you think?
Think about what?
Government conspiracies,
ghosts, (CHUCKLES)
aliens.
No, no.
It's, uh, it's not my thing.
Yeah, so, uh, I gotta get goin'.
Uh, not to hold you up,
but if you don't mind,
I'd like to hang back
for a couple of minutes
just to see if I find anything.
Knock yourself out, man.
All right.
Oh yeah, and if you find
my wedding ring back there,
- can you let me know?
- Finders keepers.
(UNEASY, AMBIENT MUSIC)
RADIO HOST: It's the
bottom of the eighth inning,
and so far it's been...
Should we report him?
JOHN: What?
No.
It's just creepy, though.
I don't think he meant anything by it.
I mean, if anything,
you know, realistically,
I think he's the only one that
actually gives a shit, so...
(SIGHS) Okay.
Change of subject, let's
listen to some creepy stories.
JOHN: Ahh, no can do.
I'm drivin', so we'll listen
to whatever King John wants to listen to.
CARINA: Whoa, King John?
Am I supposed to call you that now?
Uh-huh, yup.
That's King John, master
of the bedroom to you.
All right, well, I guess
there's some truth to that.
JOHN: Forever?
Forever and more.
(KISSING)
RADIO HOST: Pitcher
throws the fastball.
It's a hard hit!
Ground to third, over to second in time...
(SOMBER, REFLECTIVE MUSIC)
(KNOCKING)
What're you still doin' here?
Oh, (CHUCKLES) Chief,
I was just finishing up.
CHIEF: Something on your mind?
Uh, no, no.
I'm fine.
When're you gonna learn
to trust me, Anthony?
(PHONE RINGING)
You're still working the Maxi case.
Look, Chief...
I know you have a hard
time letting things go,
but I'm gonna look the
other way on this one.
But come Monday, I want
you to forget about it.
Blood test results are in.
Monday.
(WOMAN TYPING)
(TENSE, UNEASY MUSIC)
Are you sure those are the lab results?
Did you take multiple samples?
No, no, it's fine, it's okay.
Look, I gotta,
I can't have my wife catching me right now
working this late.
Okay?
All right, I'll talk to you Monday.
All right.
(DOOR LOCK CLICKS)
Honey, I'm home!
Baby?
Jessica.
Honey?
(KEYS JINGLE)
Baby.
(PAPER CRINKLING)
(PHONE BUZZING)
(SIGHS)
Detective Anthony Barker.
Oh, Tom?
I'll get on right now, okay?
(LAPTOP RINGING)
Hello, my friend.
How are things this evening?
Not so good, man.
What's with the long face?
I messed up, man, tonight, uh,
I was supposed to be with
Jessica for our anniversary.
Oh, man, did you forget
your own anniversary?
I know, man, yeah.
Hey, I told you to
take it easy, my friend.
Hell, your partner and your
boss told you the same thing.
I know, look,
but I'm gonna fix everything.
I'm gonna set everything right,
I'm gonna get,
have Jessica fall back in love with me,
but as soon as I finish this case.
Oh, speaking of which,
I was reading up on the lizard
people living underground.
Actually, I was wondering
if you could tell me more
about the Men in Black.
The Men in Black.
Yeah, I, I think I met them.
On the case you're workin' on?
Yeah.
Tom, I'm telling you,
something's really not
right that's going on.
Really sketchy.
I don't know, it's like, Ms. Maxi, right?
She says she saw two bodies that night.
- And?
- It happened.
Yeah, by the time I showed up,
there was only one body.
No one else tampered with the evidence.
I'm telling you, man, it's
a government conspiracy.
That's not all.
I found some bloody headphones
in the backyard, right?
Please tell me you ran them for prints.
It was the husband.
I swear her husband did it.
The blood was mine.
Dude.
That's some M. Night
Shama-level twisted shit.
I think I'm startin' to lose my mind.
I'll see what my guys say about the MIB,
but I would lay low, man.
You're way in over your head.
(SIGHS)
I dunno.
Maybe.
(WIND WHIPPING)
JOHN: Hey, they told us to meet them
at that alien-themed
restaurant off the 15, right?
You know what? Let me check.
Yeah, that's the one.
JOHN: Well, I think this is it.
CARINA: Oh, wow.
JOHN: There's the welcoming committee.
CARINA: Be nice.
I haven't even said anything yet.
- Hi!
- Hey.
Hey!
- How are you?
- You made it!
CARINA: (CHUCKLES) I did.
Hello, how are you?
Good!
Hi!
- Hey!
- Oh!
Goin' in for the hug, okay, okay.
You remember my boyfriend Desmond?
- Yeah.
- Glad you all could make it!
ISABELLE: This is his cousin Logan,
he's visiting from Florida.
What're you doin' up this way?
You know, anything to
get away from the parents.
Oh, you're still in college?
Workin' on my PhD.
Logan's gonna be a doctor
of microbiology. (CHUCKLES)
Very impressive.
Thank you.
Well, I'm hungry.
- Anyone else?
- Me, too, yeah.
DESMOND: Let's go.
Haven't you ever seen
cloth in space before?
I'm tellin' you, you
gotta look at the flag.
But I thought the moon had some gravity.
Does it not?
Yeah, wouldn't that mean
there'd be a little atmosphere?
AKA wind?
Okay, well, what about all the shadows?
(CHUCKLES) What shadows?
All of the shadows are coming
from different directions.
Technically, only the
sun is giving the light.
Huh.
Baby, what do you think?
Oh, don't ask me, I just build bikes.
Come on, what do you say?
The moon landing, is it fake or real?
Why would it be fake?
Because the US government wanted to win
the great Space Race with Russia.
Okay.
I mean, I think that's a dumb
reason to fake a moon landing.
Yeah, you're not gonna
get anything out of him.
That's not true.
She gets somethin' out
of me every night, right?
Bah!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Hey. (KISSES)
I'm gonna hit the head.
Which way's the restroom?
Around back on your left.
JOHN: Thanks.
Sorry about that.
Don't be.
You shouldn't have to hold
back your love for a second.
I think it's important
to always show affection
for the one you care for.
So what do you ladies think
about the Roswell crash?
(FAUCET RUNS)
(MENACING MUSIC)
Don't go, please, stay!
- Please, don't go!
- Listen, back up!
- Don't!
- Back up!
- Dude!
- No, stay, stay!
JOHN: Back up, man!
- Calm down!
- Stay, stay!
Calm down!
All right, hey, chill out!
- Chill!
- Stay.
Oh my God, John, what happened?
Hey, just some crazy
guy back there, all right?
- It's nothing.
- Where?
CARINA: What, what do you mean?
Some old dude just yellin' at me.
- What?
- Let's go kick his ass!
- No, Logan, Logan.
- Logan!
Logan!
Logan!
Come on, let's just get out of here!
Come on!
- All right?
- Are you sure you're okay?
Yeah, I'm fine, all right.
He just spooked me.
Let's get in the car, come on.
Ever think about time time travel?
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, yeah.
Like for instance, if you,
you got any more stakes over there?
JOHN: Yeah.
Like if you could go back
in time and kill Hitler,
but you knew because of the
butterfly effect and everything
that if you did, you'd actually be born
a woman instead of a man,
and, uh, I don't know,
like, uh, your sister has some
sort of terrible disease...
I mean, yeah, no, I think
about that all the time.
Tent's lookin' good, boys, keep it up!
Oh, thanks, Logan.
(HAMMERING)
Little help?
No, you guys got this stuff
figured out more than I do.
It's better left in your hands.
You guys got it.
Hey, Desmond.
DESMOND: Yeah.
So, uh, what's the
deal with your cousin?
Oh, he's in a fraternity.
Got kicked out of school
with the rest of them.
He's on academic suspension
until they review his case.
Whole hazing thing, you know how it goes.
JOHN: What, like the butt stuff?
DESMOND: Yeah, like the butt stuff.
(JOHN CHUCKLES)
You know, the kinda stuff you read about.
I suspected.
DESMOND: Yeah, yeah, so they're all
on academic probation pending review.
So how's business though,
like with the tours and stuff?
Things good?
Well, you didn't bring anyone, so...
Well, it's not my job.
(CHUCKLES) So, you know.
Yeah, no, we're doin' all
right, we're doin' all right.
Gone to a lot of really cool places.
I think you're gonna love Area 51.
I mean, as long as
Carina likes it, you know.
Come on, get into the spirit.
I'm with it, I'm with it, you know.
Like, time travel, right?
Paradoxes.
Quantum Leap.
Aliens.
(CHUCKLES) Aliens, that's it, that's it.
I'm gonna make you a believer yet.
- Somethin'.
- We'll see.
Well, tent looks like shit,
so it's probably perfect for Logan.
So what made you wanna
come to Area 51 with us?
I'm sorry, what's that now?
I'm sorry, it's just
that you and your husband
don't seem like our usual clients.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, well, we're
all kinda new to this stuff.
ISABELLE: Oh, yeah?
Yeah, um,
I mean, I actually don't
really talk about it,
but some weird things happened
to me a few months ago.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I mean, I don't even
know how to describe it.
There was this man, and, um,
he shot himself.
Oh my God, that's awful!
Why?
That's the thing,
(STAMMERS) I don't know.
But his face was like...
Well, did you call the police?
Yeah.
But I don't know, they
weren't like real police.
Weren't real.
(CHUCKLES) Okay, to be honest, Isabelle,
I think this whole thing
is a government coverup.
I mean, the cops came,
and I just don't think
they were real cops.
And then these two men dressed in black,
they came in, too.
It was so weird.
Well, did John see any of this?
(SNICKERS) Yeah, John
thinks I'm losing my mind.
Don't say that.
I've seen the way he looks at you,
and it's nothing but love.
Can you do me a solid?
Sure.
Can you just not tell
John about any of this?
My lips are sealed.
I want my clients to
enjoy their time with us,
and there's no need for unnecessary drama.
Okay.
Speaking of which,
would you mind if I grabbed
a selfie for the website?
Uh, sure thing.
(PHONE CLICKS)
(CHUCKLES)
What is that?
What do you mean?
Look, there's something
in the background.
Oh, no, that's just,
like, a plane or something.
No, look!
It's a UFO, huh?
No, I'm sure.
(SCOFFS)
(EERIE MUSIC)
(FLIES BUZZING)
Well, shit.
Logan, I told you to close up the food
before we left, man.
It's not my tour, man.
Ugh!
The fire should get rid of them.
Let me see if I can get this started.
All right.
And voila, we're campin'!
Babe, can you grab me another beer?
One beer comin' up!
Let me see if I can get this started.
This really takes me back.
ISABELLE: Oh, were you
in Boy Scouts or something?
Ah, I was actually, uh...
John was in the marines.
Oh!
So what was your job?
JOHN: Communications.
Well, thank you for your service.
Yeah, I mean it wasn't really for me,
but I did learn a lot.
I'll bet.
(SIGHS) Well, I wanna
know, what do you guys do?
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
let me guess, let me guess.
Something to do with motorcycles,
and personal trainer.
She's got me pegged.
That's close, I'm, well,
I'm a graphic designer.
Oh, an artist!
So you use like Photoshop
and things like that?
Yeah, I love it.
So what about you?
Well, I mean, besides
hosting these tours,
I like to paint and make jewelry,
but it's not something, you
know, I would call a career.
Did you make that bracelet?
- Mm.
- I love it.
Ooh, ooh!
I got it!
Everyone, look at what I've created!
Bow down to the great
and powerful Desmond!
(CACKLES)
All right, I want some marshmallows.
I've been cravin' since the drive here.
I want one!
DESMOND: Same.
So tell me what you know about Area 51.
Oh, yeah, well, so what we read was
that Area 51 was created by our government
to build and test stealth aircraft
and keep it secret from the Russians.
So you're saying they
just built stealth aircraft
to spy on the Russians.
ISABELLE: Yeah, that, too.
Apparently, the base was
declassified a few years ago.
I believe it was officially declared
an aircraft testing facility.
That's lame, I want to hear
about conspiracy theories,
I wanna hear, like, all the scary stuff.
They just told you, honey.
John, you will not ruin this for me.
(LAUGHS) You guys are so cute.
All right, let me think.
(SIGHS) Desmond, can
you think of anything?
Desmond!
- What's that now?
- I'm talking to you.
Tell them some theories about Area 51,
and get off your phone!
We're out here to enjoy the experience!
Oh, oh, right.
Uh, there are a lot of really, uh,
a lot of theories about Area 51,
the most popular of which is
that aliens crash-landed here,
and their bodies were recovered
and brought back to the base.
That's more like it.
Yeah.
There's also a theory that
there was a deal struck up
between the aliens and the humans.
CARINA: What deal?
They would give us all of their secrets
and enhance our technology
in exchange for us harboring
them on our planet.
Really?
Yeah.
Some people even think that's
why we have smart phones now,
and advances in our medical technology.
Really any technological advances
in the past few years is thanks to them.
Yeah, well, that makes sense to me.
Yeah, you're just eatin'
this up, aren't you?
Oh, come on, I just
think it would make sense
to come up with these theories.
I mean, don't get me wrong,
I just don't believe it.
You're not very spiritual,
either, are you, John?
Well, I mean, I believe
in what I can see.
So you believe that
when we die we just die.
No, no afterlife.
I mean, I guess.
That's a scary thought.
Oh, come on, John, you've
gotta believe in something.
Ghosts?
God?
Galactic beings?
(CHUCKLES) Tell them.
- No.
- Come on, please?
ISABELLE: Oh, this I
gotta hear. (CHUCKLES)
All right, well, I mean if
I had to believe in something,
you know, I mean...
CARINA: Yeah.
I guess, uh,
mermaids, all right?
(LAUGHING)
Mermaids, really, are you
serious right now? (LAUGHS)
Logan, don't laugh!
I mean, mermaids could exist.
LOGAN: Yeah, right.
All right, I need another beer.
No, babe, we're just
playing around with you.
(UNEASY MUSIC)
(DOOR CREAKS)
Jessica?
Jessica.
Jessica!
Tom.
(LAPTOP RINGS)
Tom, pick up, pick up.
(LAPTOP RINGING)
(PHONE BUZZING)
Hello?
MAN: We told you to move on.
You son of a bitch.
What have you done with him?
MAN: We're watching you, Mr. Barker.
(PHONE LINE CLICKS)
(TENSE, DISCORDANT MUSIC)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(TENT ZIPS)
(SNIFFS)
(PEE SPLASHING)
(DISTANT, MECHANICAL THROBBING)
(EERIE HUMMING)
(CURIOUS, EERIE MUSIC)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(JOHN GROANS)
Hey, baby.
Hey.
Thank you.
For what?
For putting up with me. (CHUCKLES)
I've put you through so much this year,
and I promise when we get back,
I'm gonna cook you that pumpkin pie,
and I'm gonna have so much sex with you.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
I love pumpkin pie.
I should be thankin' you.
Why?
For marryin' me.
Aw.
Forever.
Forever and more.
(KISSING)
ISABELLE: Knock, knock.
(CARINA GROANS)
You guys coming?
Where?
ISABELLE: We're checking
out Area 51, come on.
(JOHN GROANS)
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
CARINA: All right, come
on, let's get dressed!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(SOMBER, REFLECTIVE MUSIC)
All right, is this even legal?
Yes, it's legal, we're
just going to the gate.
Okay, but what if we drive past it?
CARINA: We're not gonna drive past it.
What if?
Babe, stop worrying, okay?
We're gonna be fine.
(UPBEAT RADIO MUSIC)
(RADIO STATIC CRACKLES)
The radio's busted.
All right, how far is this place?
CARINA: I dunno, maybe
like another mile or so?
JOHN: What the hell?
Oh my God, baby, just stop complaining!
It's not even that far of a drive!
JOHN: Just look, all right?
I think that car's following us.
Yeah?
They're slowing down.
JOHN: Oh.
Well, it looks like it.
Pfft, look at you.
(CHUCKLES) Oh my God, look at you.
JOHN: What?
You've been jumpy ever
since we got out here.
JOHN: What? No.
Aww, you're scared that
aliens are gonna get us.
All right, we're in the
middle of nowhere, all right?
And if anything happened to us, I just,
I don't know what I'd do,
but it's a legitimate concern.
All right, we're here.
All right, have fun.
Oh, you're going down with me.
(WIND HOWLING)
Hey, come on, baby.
(GROANING)
All right, guys, so
this is the east side gate
of Area 51.
We're staying up at Mount Tikaboo,
which is actually the closest...
Here we are
at Area 51 with my friends.
Say hi, everyone!
Hey.
Closest peek from which you
can see the Area 51 site.
JOHN: Pretty cool.
Isabelle, can you take a photo of us?
Yeah, sure can.
Just don't cross that line
or those camo dudes will get you.
Ah, duly noted.
Hey, watch it, watch, watch the line.
CARINA: Look happy.
JOHN: All right.
Hey, Carina, can you grab a photo of us?
Desmond, get off your phone!
How do you even have service out here?
Sorry, I was just talkin' about Area 51.
ISABELLE: Yeah, sure you were.
(JOHN SIGHS)
Uh, hey, are those the camo dudes?
It looks like it.
Come on, man, don't go over there.
Isabelle, grab a photo
of me crossin' the line.
ISABELLE: Rebel.
Come back, Logan.
They're gonna see you.
They're not gonna do a damn thing, man.
Relax.
JOHN: Come on.
(VEHICLE REVVING)
DESMOND: Dammit, Logan, they're coming!
Ah, shit, all right, guys, we should go.
(TENSE MUSIC)
What're they gonna do, kick me out?
Come on, let's go!
(JOHN SIGHS)
Hey, you see this truck?
CARINA: Yeah.
JOHN: Baby, they're catchin' up.
CARINA: Oh, they're honking.
They want us to pull over.
CARINA: That's,
oh my God.
(HORN HONKING)
All right, stop, just stop.
JOHN: All right, babe.
(GRAVEL SKIDDING)
- Get outta your car!
- They're pullin' them over.
- Get outta your car!
- What?
JOHN: They're pullin' them over, just...
CARINA: Oh my God, they have guns?
- Baby...
- Get out!
Get out, put your hands on the vehicle!
JOHN: Baby, just stay here.
Get over here!
- Oh my God.
- Now!
- Follow him, follow him!
- Baby, it's fine.
CARINA: Do we get out?
JOHN: No, no, no, no, baby.
SOLDIER: Shut the hell
up and get your hands
up against the car now!
HAT SOLDIER: What
are you doing out here?
ISABELLE: We're just doing photography.
JOHN: Oh my gosh, Logan
is such a freaking idiot.
HAT SOLDIER: Check that car!
JOHN: It's fine, it's fine.
Baby, it's fine.
You're not supposed to be out here!
SOLDIER: What are you guys doin' here?
We're just out campin', man.
We're just looking for aliens.
Looking for aliens.
That's it.
I need you to get the hell
out of here, you hear me?
Absolutely, that's fine.
Go home!
We're good, Smith.
Get the hell outta here.
LOGAN: Thank you!
JOHN: Shut the fuck up, Logan, jeez.
DESMOND: Follow us back.
- Oh my gosh.
- Get the hell outta here!
(VEHICLE REVVING)
CARINA: Oh my God.
Holy shit.
Fuck, it's fucking scary!
It's fine, we're all fine, okay?
All right.
Let's just get back to the camp site.
(JOHN SIGHS)
It's okay, all right?
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
Oh, yeah, you're cool.
Just crack open another beer.
Relax, they didn't even do shit,
like I said they wouldn't.
That was so reckless, Logan!
Desmond.
It's fine, we're all good now.
Just try to tone it
down a notch, would you?
This is my business, it's not a game.
All right, man, fine.
Whatever, jeez.
Relax and have a beer.
Yeah, you got another
one of those, John?
Yeah, no problem, man.
Thanks.
So how did you and Isabelle meet?
Um,
(CHUCKLES) let me see, uh...
Come on, you can't remember? (SCOFFS)
It was a long time ago.
I dunno, I remember it was in high school.
Yeah, well, Desmond
and I met in high school,
and his best friend Kyle introduced us.
(CHUCKLING) That's right.
Kyle Novak.
What an annoying asshole.
Why were we friends with him anyway?
Don't look at me, he
was your best friend.
I was just friends with him by
default because of Victoria.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot they dated.
That was so long ago.
CARINA: That's so cute.
Y'all were high school sweethearts.
Yeah, well,
what about you two?
How'd you guys meet?
Ours was slightly less romantic.
I don't know what she's talkin' about.
It was full of romance and passion.
No, um, John got wasted at a bar,
and then he hit on me.
Yeah, well, when you say it like that.
It's true.
All right, well, I was on leave, right?
It was my buddy's birthday,
and we were at a bar,
sipping whiskey as one does.
And, uh, I saw her,
she was standing across the room,
and she was the most
beautiful woman I'd ever seen.
And I knew right then,
you know,
that she was the one for me.
I mean, it was as if time had stood still.
(CHUCKLES) You're so cheesy.
I mean it!
I know, I love you.
I love you forever.
Forever and more.
Oh my God,
you guys are adorable.
(FIRE CRACKLES)
So, uh, Logan,
what's your story?
You gonna settle down anytime soon?
No.
Ah, come on, there's gotta be a man?
A woman?
You're funny, bro.
I'm not like that.
Besides, I got somethin' good goin' on.
Uh, who wants to tell ghost stories?
Well, I want Desmond to
tell us more about the aliens.
What do you wanna know?
I've got hundreds of stories.
Okay, so you were talking about, uh,
the great whites, or...
- The Tall Whites.
- Yeah.
Okay, so apparently, there's a theory
that there are five
different alien species
currently living among us,
one of which is the Tall Whites.
They're a tall humanoid species
that has a Nordic resemblance.
So, okay, so what are
the other kinds of...
Mermaids?
DESMOND: No, actually.
But there are reptilians.
(SCOFFS) Dude, come on, man.
You've heard of the lizard
people that live underground?
Yeah, I've heard some stories.
I've read some stories
that say the reptilians
control our government and
have secret underground cities.
Okay, so what's that story
about the Denver airport?
I've read that there's
a secret doomsday bunker
under the Denver airport.
Is that true?
DESMOND: Yes, I
believe it is, actually.
All right, see, that's cool, all right?
I'm gonna look that up when I get home.
DESMOND: You should.
Okay, so what are the
other kinds of aliens?
Oh my gosh, it doesn't matter.
It's not real!
Explain to me again why it's so hard
for you to believe that aliens
currently live among us.
Because.
Entertain the idea just for a minute.
Why wouldn't aliens
currently be living among us,
or watching us, or even be hidden
in that secret bunker at Area 51?
All right.
Let's just think about it, all right?
Let's think about it in reverse.
So you're gonna tell me that
we can fly to other planets,
travel with all this technology,
and we're just gonna land
and just, like, say hey?
No, all right?
We're gonna send satellites first,
we're gonna research, we're gonna learn.
You know, we gotta make
sure it's safe first.
And then and only then
are we gonna land and meet anyone.
Like, it just wouldn't make sense.
Yeah, well, what if that's
exactly what's happening now?
What if they're watching us?
Then we'd send satellites.
(CHUCKLES) Maybe they have.
All right, then
somebody with a telescope
would have seen something.
I mean, maybe they
see things all the time.
Yeah, people probably do
see things and report it,
but the media just makes
them out to be crazy.
Yeah, I mean, if I
told you I saw an alien,
you would have me committed.
JOHN: Look, if they were out there,
I think it'd be obvious.
Well, looks like we put these two out.
I'm gonna turn in.
Y'all have a good night.
- Night.
- Night.
JOHN: Yeah, I'm gonna go to bed, too.
All right.
JOHN: You gonna put the fire out?
Yeah, yeah.
Thanks, Mom. (CHUCKLES)
(ZIPPER JINGLES)
(ZIPPING)
Are you doin' okay?
Yeah.
JOHN: You weren't out there very long.
Yeah, I just wanted
to look at the stars.
JOHN: You had to
take a shit, didn't you?
Yeah.
I knew it.
Dammit.
Now I gotta pee.
(ZIPPING)
(PEE SPLASHING)
(ZIPPING)
(WHOOSHING)
(TENSE, UNEASY MUSIC)
Carina!
Carina!
(WHOOSHING)
Carina!
(UFO ROARS)
(EXPLOSION BOOMS)
What?
What's that sound?
Isabelle?
What the hell is going on?
Were you two just?
Oh my God, this is not real.
Look, man, it's not...
You shut up!
Look, man, you wanna fuck...
ISABELLE: Desmond, you did this to us!
- What did I do?
- It's your fault!
How did I do this?
How is this my fault?
You've been treating me like
shit these past few weeks,
never paying any attention to me!
You're always on that fucking phone!
Oh, so you screw my cousin!
- This is your justice?
- Hey!
(WHACKS)
LOGAN: Chill out, dude!
All right? Chill out!
ISABELLE: Desmond!
Desmond, it's not safe!
Should we go after him?
(CAR STARTING)
I, I, oh my god.
(MOTOR REVVING)
(GRAVEL SKIDDING)
All right, Isabelle, Logan!
All right, we're goin' after him.
Screw that, man, I'm
not goin' over there now!
Just stay close to me, okay?
We're coming!
That's our car!
Oh my God, Des...
JOHN: All right, all right, all right.
Everybody just chill out, I'm
just gonna go check it out.
- Just like two seconds.
- No, no, no, no.
- I'm gonna come.
- Me, too!
No, no, no, no, listen.
Stay here, just two seconds,
I'm gonna be right back.
No, no, I'm not letting you
- go out there alone.
- Listen, listen!
Listen.
Okay?
If anything happened to you, all right?
I just wouldn't, just two
seconds, I'll be right back.
All right?
(CAR BEEPING)
(EERIE HUMMING)
(OTHERWORLDLY HUMMING)
(TENSE, EERIE MUSIC)
Desmond!
Desmond!
ISABELLE: Where's Desmond?
JOHN: Okay, I couldn't find Desmond.
- (SNARLING)
- Look out!
(SNARLING)
(WHACKING)
(OTHERWORLDLY GURGLING)
What the hell is that?
John, get back in here!
We're getting outta here.
I'm sorry, Isabelle.
Where'd she go?
I couldn't stop her!
CARINA: Look, she's over there.
Desmond!
Desmond!
(GUN FIRES)
JOHN: Sniper!
(VEHICLE BEEPING)
Are we just leaving her?
I'm sorry!
She's gone.
(TENSE, WORRYING MUSIC)
Shit, shit, shit, shit!
All right, calm down, all right?
We just need to figure this out.
Are they gonna come after us?
JOHN: I don't know.
What are we gonna do now?
Okay, we live three hours from here,
so I think we should
just head back and just...
No, no, no, no, I'm
callin' the police right now.
If that aircraft really is from Area 51,
there's gonna be some government faction
at our door in no time!
When we get back, I'm
gonna call Anthony, okay?
All right?
He's gonna know what to do.
(UNEASY, FOREBODING MUSIC)
Where are we?
What are we doing?
Okay, this is the back
of our house, all right?
We're just gonna have to hop
the gate to get in there.
(TRAFFIC WHIZZING)
(GATE RATTLES)
(GRUNTS)
You good?
- Yeah.
- All right.
(STRANGE HUMMING)
(NEIGHBORHOOD DOGS BARKING)
Freeze, put your hands in the air,
and turn around and face us.
All of you.
- Don't say a word.
- Turn around.
JOHN: Come on, now, all right?
BEARDED SOLDIER: Did you find it?
OLDER SOLDIER: No.
It's not here.
Go ahead, bring them in.
(DOG BARKS)
All right, listen up!
One of you assholes took
something from the wreckage,
and we need it back.
LOGAN: We didn't steal shit, asshole!
- I will shoot you!
- Shut up.
- Hey, easy.
- Shut up.
This is illegal, all right?
We didn't do a damn thing,
and I have rights!
I'll do it!
Just give me a reason.
Bring it on, asshole, all right?
I'm gonna sue you and you.
You're both goin' down, you piece of shit!
(GUN FIRES)
What the hell?
He pissed me off!
I told you to calm down!
(CARINA SOBBING)
JOHN: It's okay.
It's okay, it's okay.
- You want some, too, bitch?
- No, no, no, no.
No, no.
(CROSS-TALKING)
Stop, no, no, please!
No, stop!
Right here, right now!
Come on, this is not
what we talked about.
It's okay.
It's okay.
(CARINA SOBBING)
(STRANGE HUMMING)
We're lookin' for one of these.
Came off the ship that crashed.
I think you know where one is.
Oh, so you do know!
Shoot her.
Ah, no!
(CARINA SOBBING)
No!
No!
OLDER SOLDIER: So you're
gonna be reasonable now.
(SOBBING) So you have it?
It's in my back pocket!
It's in my back pocket, all right?
Wait, just let me get it.
Okay?
- It's in my back pocket.
- Give it up.
Now.
Okay, okay.
(TENSE MUSIC)
All right, it musta fallen out!
Aim.
(JOHN STAMMERS)
JOHN: I musta just lost
it, I musta just lost it.
Fire!
(GUN BANGS)
JOHN: What?
Drop it.
Drop it.
I said, drop it.
Kick it to me.
Let's lose the holster as well.
I'm Detective Anthony Barker.
Well, good for you.
I don't give two shits.
Is this what you signed up for, huh?
To kill innocent people?
I'm just doin' my job
and followin' orders.
None of your business, so shut up.
What're you, a mindless monkey?
I said shut up!
I'm sorry, I was never a good listener.
Okay?
How 'bout we let you get
what you're lookin' for,
you go about your business,
and we act like this never
happened and forget about it?
That ain't gonna happen.
Well,
that's too bad.
(GRUNTING)
(CLATTERING)
(GRUNTING)
(WHACKING)
(TENSE, RISING MUSIC)
(KEYS JINGLE)
(GRUNTING)
(WHACKING)
(PANTING)
(LOCK CLICKS)
(COUGHING)
(WHACKING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(WHACKING)
(GRUNTING)
(WHACKING)
(METAL CLATTERS)
(COUGHING)
(DEVICE CHARGING)
(DEVICE POPS)
(MURKY, AMBIENT THROBBING)
(HIGH-PITCHED WHINING)
(PAINED SCREAMING)
I can't see!
(PAINED SCREAMING)
I can't see!
(PAINED SCREAMING)
Oh, my ears!
(PAINED SCREAMING)
Oh, I can't see!
(PAINED SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
(CARINA SOBBING)
CARINA: (GRUNTS) Get off me!
(STRUGGLING)
(PAINED SCREAMING)
JOHN: Oh, my ears!
(CARINA SOBBING)
(GUN FIRES)
(MAN GRUNTS)
(UNEARTHLY HUMMING)
(DISCORDANT MUSIC)
CARINA: What happened to him?
The flash grenade must
have blew his eardrums out.
CARINA: Oh my God.
John!
He can't hear you, okay?
We need to go.
Look, get the thing they're
after and I'll help John.
CARINA: Okay.
John, hold on, okay?
ANTHONY: I got you, bud.
(DEVICE HUMMING)
(BEEPING)
(TENSE AMBIENT MUSIC)
(DRONING)
(RISING WHIRRING)
(CRACKLING)
(UNEARTHLY TWANGING)
(BEEPING)
(DEVICE POWERING DOWN)
(DOGS BARKING)
'Rina.
Carina.
Carina.
Carina.
(OTHERWORLDLY SNARLING)
Carina.
(TENSE, DISCORDANT MUSIC)
Stay away!
Stay away!
Stay away from my house.
(CREATURE PANTING)
(OTHERWORLDLY SNARLING)
Stop!
Stop!
Don't.
Don't.
Stop.
Stop!
(OTHERWORLDLY SNARLING)
(GUN FIRES)
(DOGS BARKING)
(OTHERWORLDLY WHEEZING)
(SOMBER, CONTEMPLATIVE MUSIC)
Carina.
Carina.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I knew right then that
she was the one for me.
I mean, it was like, it was
as if time had stood still.
CARINA: Forever.
JOHN: Forever and more.
(OTHERWORLDLY WHEEZING)
OLD JOHN: Carina.
Carina.
(SNIFFLES)
(BOOMING)
(GLASS SHATTERS)
(TRAIN HORN BLOWS)
(GUN FIRES)
(GASPS)
JOHN: Carina.
Hey, hey, what happened?
What happened?
Carina!
You're okay.
You're okay.
Carina, tell me what happened.
Hey, you're okay, Carina.
CARINA: Oh, wow.
JOHN: And there's
the welcoming committee.
Be nice.
JOHN: I haven't even said anything yet.
- Hi!
- Hey!
Hey!
- How are you?
- You made it!
CARINA: (CHUCKLING) I did!
CARINA: Hello, how are you?
Good!
Hi!
JOHN: Goin' in for the hug, okay.
ISABELLE: You remember
my boyfriend Desmond?
- Yeah.
- Glad you all could make it.
This is his cousin Logan,
he's visiting from Florida.
Oh, what're you doin' up this way?
You know, anything to
get away from the parents.
You're still in college?
Workin' on my PhD.
Logan's gonna be a
doctor of microbiology.
CARINA: Very impressive.
Thank you.
Well, I'm hungry.
- Anyone else?
- Me, too.
- Yeah?
- Let's go!
(FAUCET RUNNING)
Don't go! Please, stay!
- Listen, back up!
- Please, don't go!
Back up, dude!
- Stay, stay!
- Back, back up!
- Please, stay, stay!
- Calm down!
JOHN: Calm down!
Back, back up, man!
Back, back up!
OLD ANTHONY: Stay!
(UNEASY PANTING)
John, what happened?
JOHN: There's just
some crazy guy back there.
Okay.
JOHN: He was just yellin' at me,
I don't know what was up.
- What?
- Let's go kick his ass!
- Logan!
- Logan, Logan.
Logan!
Logan!
Come on, let's just get outta here!
Come on!
Are you sure you're okay?
- Dude!
- Yeah, I'm fine, all right?
(MURMURING)
(PAPER CRINKLING)
Okay, so I didn't change completely.
Okay.
Earplugs, (STAMMERS)
okay, blood on the earplugs,
time travel.
Okay, time travel.
I didn't change 'cause of the earplugs.
Okay, earplugs.
Blood.
Wait a minute, no, no.
No, John and Carina.
Are they changing?
Possible change.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Okay, no, let me think, let me think.
What?
Oh.
What?
You gotta get this, Anthony.
Okay.
(WIND BLOWING)
(CRICKETS CHIRP)
(UFO WHOOSHING)
(EXPLOSION BOOMING)
Was that an explosion?
Desmond, it's not safe!
Do we go after him?
(CAR STARTING)
I, oh my God.
All right.
Isabelle, Logan!
All right, we're goin' after him.
Screw that, man, I'm
not goin' over there now!
Just stay close to me, okay?
We're coming!
(VEHICLE IDLING)
Hello?
Can anyone hear me?
(VEHICLE CHIMES)
(TENSE, FOREBODING MUSIC)
Can anyone hear me?
(DEVICE HUMMING)
(GUN COCKS)
(DEVICE BEEPING)
Hold on.
(OTHERWORLDLY HUMMING)
(GRUNTING)
Help!
Help!
Help!
Please, make it stop!
- Make it stop!
- I'm sorry!
I can't take it!
(PAINED SCREAMING)
(HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING)
Make it stop!
(GRUNTING)
(EERIE DRONING)
(STRANGE BEEPING)
(CAR DOOR SLAMS)
(EERIE, DISCORDANT MUSIC)
(OTHERWORLDLY SCREAMING)
All right, listen up!
One of you assholes took
something from the wreckage.
- We didn't steal shit, man!
- No!
- I'll shoot!
- Easy.
This is illegal, all right?
We didn't do a damn thing.
I have rights!
I'll do it!
Just give me a reason.
OLDER SOLDIER: He will.
Yeah, bring it on, asshole!
I dare you, all right?
I'm gonna sue you!
You're goin' down, you piece of shit!
(GUN FIRES)
(CARINA SCREAMS)
(GUN FIRES)
Drop it.
Drop it.
I said drop it.
How 'bout we let you get
what you're lookin' for,
you go about your business,
and we act like this never
happened and forget about it.
That ain't gonna happen.
ANTHONY: That's too bad.
(GRUNTING)
(GUN FIRES)
(GUNS FIRING)
(GRUNTING)
(WHACKING)
(PANTING)
(KEYS JINGLE)
(COUGHING)
(GRUNTING)
(WHACKING)
(GRUNTING)
(WHACKING)
(GUN FIRES)
(SOLDIER GROANING)
(PAINED GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
(GUN FIRES)
Oh!
John.
John!
John! (STAMMERS)
(GUN FIRES)
(SOBBING) No!
John, no.
(JOHN GRUNTS)
No, John.
No, baby.
No, no.
No.
No.
John.
Why are you doing this?
To fix it.
(GUN FIRES)
Is it done?
It is.
Only took five tries.
(SOMBER, REFLECTIVE MUSIC)
(DISTANT TRAIN HORN BLOWS)
(FAUCET RUNS)
(TENSE, EERIE MUSIC)
(BITTERSWEET, NOSTALGIC, MUSIC)
(QUARTER CLATTERING)
(JUKEBOX CHURNS)
(TENSE, AMBIENT MUSIC)
(SOMBER, REFLECTIVE MUSIC)