1
Welcome to Letting Go With Love.
Chapter one.
You're on a dock.
You've been here before.
Choose to walk down the dock.
Notice the boat.
Notice the gathering clouds...
the high winds...
the unsteady seas.
Choose to board the boat.
Now hold on...
and never let go.
Happy 4th July.
If you're looking for that perfect burst
of fireworks in the sky,
Colleen Malone has already done
the groundwork for you.
Colleen and her team of experts
have designed the show
over LA's Dodger Stadium,
and she's here to talk to us now.
- So, Colleen, thanks for joining us.
- Happy to be here.
Hey, you have reached Seth and...
And me, too!
- Should they leave a message?
- Leave a message, please.
Did I do good?
The mailbox is full and cannot
accept any messages at this time. Goodbye.
Hey! Open up.
- Yeah, OK. Just hold on one second.
- Can you open the door?
- Just don't touch the thing.
- Can you open the door? I can't open it.
What? Oh, there you go.
- OK, we got it.
- Whoo!
- Oh, can I have a little room?
- Just hold on one second. I got it.
All right.
- Hi.
- Hi. I thought you forgot about me.
- I'm 15 minutes early.
- Is your brother coming tonight?
- Yeah.
- Really?
I sent Ella the cutest little truck
and he hasn't called me to thank me.
Oh.
- You know where we can go?
- We're not going to CVS.
Oh, come on. Please?
They're having this big make-up special.
You know, eyeliners and lip liners
and eyebrow liners.
Anything that has a "luh" sound in it
is on sale, two for five.
You don't need...
You have so much make-up.
- Maybe on the way back.
- You just want to wander the aisles.
You don't get anything.
It should be quality over quantity.
Are you going to put
some earrings on later tonight?
Yeah, I have these on. I'm going to...
But you have a different...
For the party tonight,
are you putting on earrings?
Maybe a little lipstick?
- Yeah.
- Maybe we can get you a nice liner.
I'm going to...
I'll put all the make-up on.
- You will? Oh, good.
- I mean, I'm...
- It's a party.
- No, I know.
I know what... I know what...
OK, fire her up.
Coming through, hot soup.
Oh, excuse me.
Sorry.
- Whoa!
- It's for Ella. Isn't that cute?
- It's definitely a dog toy.
- It's not a dog toy.
Um... There's a spot
to blow all these up in the back, right?
OK, great.
OK. Yeah, we need all this stuff.
Oh, how cute. That's so big.
Don't you think that's good value?
OK, don't. Don't, don't, don't.
- I don't think they're going to fit.
- Oh, they will fit.
- Oh, God! Are you OK?
- Oh, my gosh!
Come on, you guys.
You little bastards. Get in there.
- Let's pull them through.
- Seriously, I've got to pee.
OK. All right.
OK. Ah!
Oh, that looks good. OK.
Mom! Mom?
Mom?
That's great. Can you fill
half of these with juice boxes?
- My niece is coming.
- Sure.
- Cups!
- Killing it.
Hey, hey, hey.
I owe you. I swear this time.
You know, there's an outlet over there.
Thanks so much.
What's going on here?
There's a drought in California.
- I was just going to turn it off.
- OK.
Are these pig blankets
tight enough for you?
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- You're going to re-roll.
- She's going to re-roll those.
- You guys are so mean. I...
I might... I might re-roll them.
Hey, Mom?
Mom! What is...
- I'm thinking this.
- Yeah.
- Is that what you're wearing?
- No.
Well, you don't need to...
It's a good outfit, but no.
Oh, hold on. Your tag is out.
- Thank you.
- OK.
Oh, my God. He will see the balloons
from down the block.
Wait. What are you wearing, if not this?
- I have a thing laid out. Another outfit.
- A thing?
I have a... It's cute. I think
it's pretty cute. It's like a dress.
It's like a dress?
- It is a...
- Hold on.
I think maybe people
might come into your room.
You can fold a couple of things.
Is this a shirt or a dress?
I think if you
have to question what it is...
Don't think.
One, two, three. Shirt or dress?
I mean, I think it could be
either of those things.
If you have to ask yourself, maybe
it's not the best choice. I don't know.
I need to ask myself.
- I just... I can't...
- This is stressing you out.
- Hello!
- Hey!
- Hey.
- Hey, Dad.
You can see the balloons down the block.
I know. Will you say something to Mom?
I just can't with her right now.
Yeah, sure. Yeah. Is Seth here?
- Wait. You were supposed to get him.
- Was I?
- Definitely, you were.
- Hey, Cam.
- Hi, Gar.
- Hey.
Let's get this party started.
Yes.
Here we go.
Looks good.
Just peeling eggs.
It's actually exhausting.
- Hell, yeah. Thank you.
- Sure.
- I will go deal with your mother.
- Thank you.
Your dad is so hot.
OK.
It's true.
Did that, like,
make you uncomfortable growing up?
It was really hard.
It was a dress for a child.
I looked it up.
Hm. What the fuck is that?
Um... What the fuck is this?
- Yeah.
- It's a sign I handcrafted.
No.
- Respect it.
- No.
- Is this glue stick?
- Yeah, this is glue stick. Yeah.
- You can pay people to do that for you.
- You can.
- You can if you're a sucker.
- For sure, yeah.
I don't know.
Oh, my gosh.
OK. You guys, Jack made it to drinks.
- Good
- Yes.
You guys don't think he knows?
- Yeah.
- No.
Yeah, I know that he doesn't know.
- Right, he better not know.
- Uh-uh.
I am dying to see
his cute fucking face when...
I can't even. I mean, I can't even.
In my heart, I can't.
Fucking face.
The fireworks. It's going to be...
- It's almost too much.
- It is.
It is almost too much.
OK. All right. OK.
I'm going to go get the cake.
- I can do that.
- No, I'm going to get the cake.
Then I'm going to get the tacos
before my mom starts telling me
everyone will starve.
- OK.
- OK.
Please stop eating everything.
This is a tiered thing.
- I worked hard on making these color...
- You're losing your mind. Go.
- Remove yourself from the premises.
- We love you. Go!
- Call me if you need anything.
- Have fun. We are covered.
- She's freaking out.
- You're stressing her out.
I ate one of these.
- Can you peel or...
- Have you tasted these?
- Put that away.
- Will you taste it?
Chapter two.
You are on the same boat.
Notice how water has rotted the boat.
Promise yourself to fix it
before you travel.
- Lost one.
- Yeah, it was my fault.
My fault. My fault. I got excited.
OK.
It's OK.
Katie, I hope you have
more food than this.
Your friends are going to starve.
Yeah, Ma, I'm going.
And get your brother
for me on the way.
Ding-dong!
I'll be right there.
All right. Got your backpack? Your shoes?
Have you got your shoes?
My balloons.
I forgot my red balloon and my blue one.
I have two balloons.
Two red ones...
- Yeah?
- ...and two blue.
- Can you go get them?
- Are you OK?
Yeah.
Keep that there, and give you this guy.
Oh, yeah.
Kitty cat.
This fucking thing just, like...
It's... It's a normal seat belt.
- Just click it in.
- Maybe you could come back and help me.
I don't know why you're in the front.
- Sorry.
- Yeah. Meow!
I just can't get this. I need more slack.
Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!
Meow!
How do stupid people do this? I'm just...
Meow! Meow!
- Hi. Yeah.
- OK. Are you in?
Can you say "Aunt Katie is incompetent"?
- Can... Can you say "incompetent"?
- Incompetent.
Yeah, that's my girl.
- That's not good.
- Incompetent.
- Exactly.
- No, that's not a good thing to teach her.
Incompetent.
How old is Jack?
He's thirty...
- Thirty-six.
- ...six.
He is a grown man.
Yeah, you're throwing a 36-year-old
grown man a surprise party. That's...
It's supposed to be funny.
- Yeah.
- And it's going to be. It's... Yeah, it's going to be hilarious.
Great idea, and it's going to be executed.
What's uh... What's this?
Oh, Jack needs paper towels.
Man, Jack is such a... B-minus.
He's a B-minus?
Then you're definitely a D.
I would rather be a D
than a fucking B-minus.
OK, I'm going to just ignore you now.
Dinner to go. Your order's ready.
- Does that look like everything?
- Oh, that's perfect. Great.
Do you need help?
No, I've... I've got this.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hm.
All right.
Come here. Come here.
Why don't you hold on to me?
Hold on to me. We're going to go.
Yeah, that's perfect.
OK, here we go.
You've got my butt?
You've got my butt?
Kitty cat.
Meow! Meow!
Um...
Mom sent Ella a truck, and I guess
you didn't call her to thank her for it.
- OK.
- Well, it's because you didn't get it.
You didn't open it.
OK.
Well, you stopped opening
your mail last time, too.
What? What?
Can you just... roll up your sleeve?
Just show me your arm.
- No.
- Just show me your arm.
Can we not do this?
- Seth, just show me.
- There's nothing to see.
Then we'll just go to my house,
go to the party.
- This fucking hurts my feelings.
- Just show me and we go to my house.
Can you trust me?
How did this happen again?
It's hard. It's OK.
It's OK.
I've got to take you to detox.
Yeah, I know.
The wheels on the bus
Go round and round
Round and round
Round and round
The wheels on the bus
Go round, round and round
All through town...
Can you put your seat belt on, please?
The wheels on the bus
Go round and round
Round and round...
Babies on the bus go
Wah-wah-wah, wah-wah-wah
Wah-wah-wah
Babies on a bus cry wah-wah-wah
All through the town...
Which one are we going to?
The shitty one.
In 1.5 miles,
turn left onto Beverly Boulevard.
Kitty cat.
Kitty cat.
Meow!
I think we should
drop her off at my house first.
- What? No. No, please.
- I think we should take her to my house.
I can't see Mom like this. Please.
The driver on the bus
Says move on back
Move on back, move on back...
Look, I can't...
I can't take ten days off of work.
- What?
- I just... I can't.
I mean, why?
Why?
Because people don't do that, all right?
I'll get fired.
I'll do... I'll do a four-day detox.
That's it, though.
Just tell them Dad's sick or something.
No one will question that.
Yes, of course they will.
Katie, it's not that easy.
Just listen to me, please.
Dad got me the job, all right?
They will call him, then he will know,
so we're not doing that, OK?
Jesus, you never listen.
Oh, my God.
"I need to drink some juice."
"Yum."
"Yummy.
Yummy."
"Yum."
Babies on a bus cry wah-wah-wah
Wah-wah-wah, wah-wah-wah...
If I'm gone ten days, Maggie will know
and she won't let me see Ella.
Everyone's going to know.
I just wish you had told me.
Next time.
- That was a joke.
- No, it was... That was hilarious.
- Yeah, you liked that?
- I was, like, on the floor.
- You don't seem like you're on the floor.
- I mean, if I wasn't driving...
Yeah?
...I would be just, like, done.
- That's very sweet of you to say.
- Yeah, it brought down the house.
You should develop that into,
like, a longer act.
With your encouragement, I might.
This actually is a pretty long act.
You've got at least...
what is it, a couple of years' worth
of material here, right?
You're making me feel so warm right now.
Yeah, that's my job.
Hey, girlie.
- Come here. Let me unbuckle you.
- Kitty cat.
All right, let's go.
Have you got your bunny?
All right, out.
Out, out, out. OK. Shut the door.
OK.
Just be careful
before the car comes.
OK, yeah.
Before the car comes, huh?
Just be careful.
Still looks like a crack house.
Well, you'll fit right in, right?
Funny.
Wait, wait, wait. She needs shoes.
She's fine.
Just... Just give me the keys.
It will take two seconds.
I'll hold her.
Come on. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm just going to the car.
- I'll hold her. You don't need to go.
- Katie, it's... OK. All right, calm down.
Don't tell me to calm down.
That's the worst thing you could say.
Don't make a thing of this, please.
I just think it's insane
that you picked this moment,
of all moments, to be a parent.
And it's actually...
It's actually insane.
I don't understand why you get so pissed
about the dumbest shit.
- What did you just say to me?
- Nothing.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Hi. Um... Your insurance card?
Can I help you?
Yeah. Um... Can we come inside?
I need some information first.
- Who's the patient?
- Me.
- Have you been here before?
- Um... You bet he has.
And what are you detoxing from?
- I knew I should have dropped her off.
- It's fine. Just give her to me.
- OK.
- Come here, baby. Come here.
OK. Um...
- Well...
- We'll be... We'll be right here.
OK.
- Ma'am?
- Yeah.
Um... He's on heroin.
- What kind of insurance does he have?
- Um... Anthem.
Unfortunately, we don't take Anthem.
But he's been here before.
Does he have a new job
since the last time?
Yeah.
Then we probably took
his last job's insurance.
OK, but you can still admit him, right?
We have an outpatient program.
No, he needs to be in
for ten days for it to work.
OK.
Not that it's never worked, but um...
I can admit him if you want to pay cash.
- How much is it?
- It's $5,000 for the ten-day program.
OK, just give me a minute.
Credit card.
They don't take your insurance.
But my credit's fucked. You know that.
Seth, tell me
what to do right now.
Can you pay for it?
You still owe me five grand
from last time.
How long have you waited
to play that card?
- That's what I'm doing.
- I bet you think about that all the time.
- Every once in a while...
- All you fucking people, man.
- Who?
- Who? You, Mom, Dad. It's like...
- Yeah, that's so lovely.
- There are always strings attached.
- Strings attached?!
- Gross.
The string attached
is that you stay fucking clean,
not that you achieve greatness.
OK, OK.
The bar is so low that there's not a bar.
It's just, like, the ground, so...
Why don't you ask Jack?
You want me to ask my boyfriend
to pay for your detox?
I don't know.
Who are you?
I'm a piece of shit.
Ma'am? Yeah.
Oh, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey! Stop, stop, stop!
We need to go get the cat.
No, no, no!
Told you she needed fucking shoes.
- Ma'am?
- Yeah.
American Group takes Anthem.
They're downtown.
Um... OK.
I don't think I can go downtown right now.
I'm throwing my boyfriend
a surprise birthday party tonight.
And I'm... I-I just want you to know,
I did hear myself say that out loud.
So...
Did you want me to call American,
let them know you're coming?
- OK, Tammy, right?
- Mm-hm.
OK, so you're just going to take him to
one location. That's it, OK? Don't stop.
I just...
I can't stress how important that is, OK?
I'm sorry. She talks like that to everyone.
I'm really sorry I'm not taking you myself.
- I know you don't care, but this party...
- No, I really don't.
OK.
- Do you want to say goodbye?
- Goodbye.
OK, go and say goodbye.
Hey. Hey, monkey.
Hey.
Daddy's just feeling a little sick,
but I'm going to go get better, OK?
Hey.
I love you more than the whole wide world.
Can I get a kiss? Can I get a kiss?
Thanks, sweetheart.
Can I give you kisses?
OK.
So...
All right, can we... Let's go. Can we go?
Hi.
What the fuck took so long?
Where's the cake?
OK, still have to get the cake.
Can you watch Ella? She's in the car.
- Your phone is ringing.
- You're not meant to leave babies in cars.
She's sleeping, it's fine. I got it.
- All right. Where's Seth?
- He stayed home.
- Your phone is still ringing.
- I've got it.
- I'll just take it.
- I have it. I've got it.
OK. All right.
Chapter three.
You're here again.
You board the same boat.
Admit to yourself that you do not know
how to drive this boat.
Tell yourself you are the only person
who can drive this boat.
Now push off... and paddle.
Oh!
You look good.
Thank you. Better.
OK.
That was so close.
So close.
- Oh, is that Ella?
- She's asleep.
- She's napping.
- Where's Seth?
Um... He went home. Yeah. He had to...
Can you just give me one second, please?
- OK. Are you getting the cake?
- Yeah, I'm going to grab it now.
- So just take her with you.
- OK.
- She's passed out.
- Sorry, can you say that one more time?
- Yeah, it's fine.
- Yeah, let's just get a drink.
It's fine.
Everything's OK, though, right?
- Well, did she say where he went?
- Yeah.
You are on the fastest route
to American Drug Rehab Center.
In 100 feet,
turn right onto Santa Monica Boulevard.
You are on the same boat.
Keep right.
Notice the engine.
Try the wheel.
You cannot drive...
and you cannot paddle...
and think that you...
might... drown.
No, he was on Oxy. Now it's just heroin.
- I understand. -Don't say that you understand.
It's, like, the worst thing
that you can say.
- I understand that you're angry.
- Oh, my God. I'm going to lose my mind.
- I understand.
- You say that, and you keep saying it!
- I understand.
- Seth, are you OK? Where's the bathroom?
There's a bed in Pasadena. Hey, sir!
Come here, come here, come here. Hey. OK.
Daddy.
Take her away.
Get away. Get away.
It's OK, baby. It's all right.
Ella. Ella, it's OK.
Starting route
to Pasadena Recovery Center.
No, I can't!
I won't make it! I won't make it!
In 0.2 miles,
turn left onto Ferris Street.
- It's OK. Ella, it's OK. Look at me.
- Come on, man. You've got to let me out.
Just... Just fucking let me out.
Shut the lights!
But she's not answering.
Yeah. Well, I'm sure she'll be fine.
OK. Where are you?
It hurts so fucking...
It fucking hurts.
Ella, baby, can you sing me a song?
Can you sing "Wheels on the Bus"?
Just... Just take me to get some.
I'll fucking...
I'll go anywhere you want. Please.
- Daddy!
- Please. Just take me. I'll go.
In 0.6 miles,
turn right onto Los Angeles Street.
Katie, please. Please. Oh, no.
That's too far. It's too far.
All I do is lie for you.
I'll be... I'll be fine. I just need
a little bit. Just take me there.
I can't. I can't.
I'm sorry.
I don't want to fucking do this to you.
I don't want to do this to you,
but I have to...
I'll be... It will be fine.
I'll be fine. I just need a...
I just need a little bit.
Katie, please!
OK, they're here. They're here.
Down, down. Shh.
Surprise!
What is going on?
- Is this my party?
- Yes!
Oh, my God. Wait, wait.
Where are you? Where is she?
She's um... There was...
There was a cake thing.
A problem with the cake,
but she's coming.
- Where is she?
- No, literally, she is getting a cake.
I cannot believe she would do this.
I have never been surprised before.
- Are you serious?
- I know!
We gave you your first surprise?
- Oh, my gosh.
- We did, yeah.
She is...
She's going to be so pissed
is what she's going to be.
I just need a little bit.
Katie, please.
I won't do it again.
I won't do it. This is the last time.
This is the last time.
I fucking swear this is the last time.
Just a little bit.
I just need a little bit.
It's OK. It's OK.
Surprise!
What is going on?
- Is this my party?
- Yes!
Oh, my God. Wait, wait.
Where are you?
Where is she? Where is she?
Tell me where to go.
Get some at 7th and San Pedro.
Seventh and San Pedro.
I can't... I can't...
Chapter four.
Make a left onto Towne Street.
The boat is filling with water.
Re-routing.
- Do anything to save it.
- Make a legal U-turn.
The boat is all you have.
Turn around.
Do anything to keep it afloat.
Turn around.
Turn around.
I want... I want to turn around.
Can we turn around?
OK. All right, slow down.
What are you doing, man?
Fucking slow...
No. I'm going.
You're staying in the fucking car.
- What? You're fucking crazy. No.
- You won't come back.
No, you're not fucking going.
If I leave you
in the car with her, you'll stay.
Right?
Six black.
That's what I say?
Come over here!
Orange tent.
Ask for Pete.
He uh... He looks like um... Chuck Palley.
Who is Chuck Palley?
The guy who worked
at the 7-Eleven on Victory.
I need six black...
please.
- You always said he was ugly.
- I never said that.
You say shit like that about everyone.
The door's open!
Close the door!
Don't look.
Don't look.
OK. It's OK.
Daddy.
Daddy.
Did you get it?
- Yeah.
- Let me see.
Let me see.
I want to get out.
He took them out of his mouth.
I want to go home.
You can't eat them.
Am I... Am I supposed to eat these?
I want to go home.
I mean,
I-I guess I didn't think about that.
There's a guy, he's under a blue tarp.
He sells needles for a buck. Can you...
- I'm not going back out there.
- Yes.
No.
I think I don't like this car.
All right, listen.
I need you to take me to a pharmacy...
before I die in your fucking car, OK?
OK, I just need a second,
because I'm just a bit overwhelmed
with what just happened.
- Please go to the pharmacy.
- What we should do...
Go to the fucking pharmacy, Katie!
Chapter five.
There is no boat.
There is no engine.
There is no paddle.
Admit to yourself
that there is only you...
and the water around you.
You are sinking.
You are drowning.
You are touching rock bottom.
OK.
So, we're here now.
Twenty-nine gauge,
1cc, short tip.
Please.
I'm sorry.
You're a fucking piece of shit.
I think I need to go pee-pee, Dad.
I need to go pee-pee,
or something.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Have you used this medication before?
It's my birth control, so, yeah, I-I have.
I use it, like, all the time.
I've got to poop!
Oh, my God. That's sad.
I've got to poop.
Does she need to be changed?
Yeah. Oh.
Picking up? Last name?
Um... No. Uh...
I need to buy one needle...
and everything that comes with it...
please.
I don't understand.
Um...
Short tip, or something.
They come in a ten-pack.
That's convenient.
You having a good night?
Yeah, I'm having a great night.
- Seems like it.
- Yeah. Thanks so much.
One, two, three.
Can I have the bathroom key, as well?
Please?
Ma'am, I'm going to need you
to give me the key to the bathroom.
Give me the fucking key.
Give me the key to the fucking bathroom.
I'm going to need you to bring that back,
if you think you can manage that?
I'm sorry. I'll bring back the key.
OK, up we go. Up we go.
OK.
Hey, I'm going to change
that diaper, all right?
Come on.
OK, let's change this.
I don't...
That's dirty. That's dirty.
Yeah, that's dirty.
OK.
OK.
OK.
Do you think... OK.
I can't do that, right? I can't do that.
Could we change your diaper standing up?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
OK.
We want to take that.
OK. Ready? Let's take it off.
Here we go. OK.
OK. OK.
I'm going to throw it away.
Hold this up.
Stand right there.
Oh!
Oh, my goodness.
OK. OK.
Here we go. Here we go.
Come back here.
OK, let's put this on.
Here we go, here we go, here we go.
OK, look at me. OK.
It's OK. It's OK.
Ready?
Hold the bunny up. Hold the bunny up.
Don't want to get the bunny messy.
OK.
I know what I'm doing.
OK. There we go.
We got it, right?
Do we got it?
Do we got it?
Yeah, hold that up.
OK.
Here we go. Up on here.
All right.
OK.
Please don't do too much.
Only stupid people OD.
Great. That's great.
OK, wipe this off.
OK.
I'm going take them off real quick, OK?
OK. We're just going to...
Oh, gosh!
In there.
Are you OK?
You're OK.
Is that a little monkey I hear?
How did a cute little monkey
sneak in here?
I got... shit everywhere.
We don't care about
no stinky poop, do we?
We love poop, don't we?
You want to climb on the tree?
You want to climb on the tree?
We love poop
Yes, yes, we do
We would eat it all the time
If you let us...
What are you doing?
Seth, what are you doing?
Seth, what are you doing?
Stop.
Seth, stop.
Daddy hurt his hand.
Can you kiss it?
Can you kiss it? Thank you.
Do you know what time it is?
Put your arms out.
It's chopper time!
Let's chopper out!
It's time to chopper out!
Chopper out!
Chopper out!
Chopper out!
Chopper landing.
Let's go. Let's go. We want to play.
No. It's just been, like,
such a... crazy night.
Um...
The cake took so long, and we got a flat.
I'm going to eat them.
He bit me!
Hold on, sweetie.
I can't hear you.
You've got to bite him back!
- You've got to bite him!
- I love you, too.
- Save us, quickly!
- No, I'll be home really, really soon.
Yes, you bit his head off!
You saved humanity!
Oh, my gosh!
You're my hero.
You're my hero, you know that?
Oh, shit.
What?
OK, you've got to...
you've got to promise not to kill me.
What?
Are you fucking kidding me?
- Are you fucking kidding me right now?
- I don't want it. You take it.
I'm sure she'll be very happy to see you.
Fuck you.
Language! There's a child present.
Oh, no.
Uh-uh.
- I have the key.
- I don't care.
She's going to get in so much trouble.
You don't want me
to just hand you the key right now?
No, because we're closed right now.
Are you fucking kidding me?
No, I'm not kidding you. You can go now.
They locked the door. They locked
her out. She is not going to be happy.
Oh, sh... Yes.
Yes! Let's go! Let's go!
Chopper out! Chopper out! Let's go!
I got you.
OK. Oh, fuck!
That's right. That's right.
We are choppers.
- Go! Go!
- Put your seat belt on!
Oh!
Shit!
Oh! Drive! Just fucking drive!
- You're a mess! Go!
- OK, OK, OK!
Chopper out!
Hey.
- She's fine.
- Oh, you got through?
- Did you talk to her?
- She's with Seth, and she's fine.
Oh. Oh.
- She told me he went home.
- Don't do this. Don't.
- Can you call her back?
- No, don't make him call her back.
- She sounded fine.
- I want to hear the sound of her voice.
Please, just call her back.
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Dad was, like,
driving 90 miles an hour up the five,
and I had to stick my head
out the window to puke.
You really don't remember?
This was, like, a big moment.
I don't think so. Keep going.
So I puke out the window
and everything just...
Comes back on the car?
Came back on the whole side of
the car, and they couldn't see anything.
Oh, yeah.
We get to Santa Barbara
and Dad gets out.
He was fucking pissed.
"Who the fuck puked
all over the side of my car?"
I just don't understand how he thought
someone else puked on his car.
Dad always says
the exact same thing.
What?
You know. Think about it.
All right, yeah.
"Suck it up,
walk it off, grow a pair."
And then let them dangle.
I don't remember that part.
I think that's a new addition.
Maybe.
Dad doesn't joke
with me any more. It's weird.
In 1.3 miles,
turn left onto North Figueroa Street,
then merge onto CA 110 North
towards Pasadena.
I know what Mom will say, too.
What?
She'll tell me I broke her heart.
She really loves to tell me that.
Hey, Ella.
You want to see monkey brain?
Bleugh!
Like that monkey brain?
A kitty! A kitty!
A cheetah.
I think I can do it this time.
It feels different, you know?
Yeah.
I know what I've got to do
and I'm just going to do it.
In 200 feet, keep left.
Oh, look, they're right over my house.
Have you ever been over on the fourth?
No, I don't think so.
Keep left.
And a blue one.
Should we go check them out?
Let's do it. It will be fun.
Come on, let's do it.
Come on, let's go check them out,
and then... and then we can go
to that place in Pasadena.
- I really don't think it's a good idea.
- It's not going to make a difference.
I'll be fine. I promise.
- Really?
- Really, really. Yeah, I swear.
I've got to go get the cake.
Is that a yes?
Fireworks?
We're going to see fireworks, baby!
Yes! Let's go eat those fireworks.
I'm sick of fries and burger.
I want fireworks.
Oh! I'm going to eat a pink one...
and a blue one,
and I might even dip my fries
in the fireworks.
Pink fireworks
And blue fireworks
And pink and blue
At the same time, fireworks
If we go, you have to promise
not to sing any more.
I cannot do anything of the sort.
You sing the same song
with different words.
- You just list things.
- I will attempt.
- It's just you listing items and things.
- I cannot make any definitive promises.
That's it.
Jealousy does not look good on you.
It doesn't.
I'm so jealous
of these song skills, right?
You know what?
You're either born with it or you're not.
- I'm not worth it.
- I can't even take credit.
It's just genes.
- Yeah, it skips a sibling.
- Exactly.
And blue fireworks and pink
You're such a loser. I can
do it falsetto if you want.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
And pink fireworks
And blue fireworks
At the same time as a big...
Oh, my God.
Who are you?
I'm your brother,
and you love me so much.
This is not good. This is bad news.
All right. We'll have one red
and one white, please.
Chapter six.
There's a boat in the middle of the ocean.
Tell yourself that you can drive the boat.
Even after you've capsized...
tell yourself that no one will notice.
Um... Just give me a second.
It's me.
Look what I found.
- Hey.
- He's here.
Hey, Seth. It's good to see you.
Hi, Ella.
Did you um...
lie to me before?
Because I feel like there is something...
really something going on.
Let's get that firework.
- I want to get up there and touch the firework.
- Tell me where you were and what happened.
I don't feel like we need
to talk about it this minute.
- You are scaring me.
- OK, just...
Come on, Seth. Slow down, OK?
Seth.
So, what, is he high right now, or...?
- Why did you ask me if you already knew?
- I wanted to hear it from you.
I wasn't sure.
Seth, she's going to hit her head.
Honey, please. She could...
Mom, we can't slow down if we're going
to chopper up to the fireworks!
We can't stop! We can't stop!
We can't stop! We can't stop!
How do you expect to have a relationship
if you keep stuff from me?
- It's not about you.
- I know. I know it's not about me.
I'm not keeping anything from you.
I'm just, like... I am trying to...
If you say you are compartmentalizing,
I swear to God...
It's me and Dad.
We should let my parents in.
- Daddy!
- Juice!
Your mom thinks...
I knew it.
- Katie, come here.
- I'm fine.
I'm fine.
OK, I'm an adult and Seth is an adult,
and there's just nothing you guys can do.
There's nothing
anyone can do for him, babe.
You want me to just leave him?
I wish he would just suck it up already
and get over it. I really do.
It breaks my heart every time.
Yeah, I think that he...
knows both of those things.
Chapter seven.
A red one.
Admit to yourself
that you chose to walk down that dock.
Admit that you chose to get on that boat,
even though you knew
you couldn't drive it.
Admit that you saw the rot
and never fixed it...
that you had a chance
to stay on dry land...
but instead...
It's OK.
...you boarded the boat again.
It's OK.
Admit that you never asked for help...
even when it was offered to you.
But one day...
you're going to miss something.
Something that is actually important.
And now... let go.
Daddy? Dada?
Ella, come here.
What are you doing, hey?
What?
Yes.
- Hey.
- Hey. Where's Seth?
I don't know.
I haven't seen him since uh...
Cutie!
- Honey. Katie. Katie.
- No, no. I got it. I got it.
Seth?
Excuse me. I'm sorry. Is Seth...?
Did you bring me cake?
- No!
- Ouch!
So, was that a yes or a no on the cake?
When I'm with you, all I see is you.
What song is that?
I close my eyes
Stop it.
And all I see is you
Stop.
I close my eyes...
Stop it! Jesus, stop!
God, you suck me in and I can't get out.
I-I'm not even trying to be funny,
but I'm pretty sure that's a song, too.
- Don't.
- You don't want me to sing it?
No, I don't.
You promised.
OK.
- You do this every fucking time.
- All right. Just calm down.
Don't tell me to calm down.
It makes me insane!
I didn't mean that. OK, I'm sorry.
Did something happen... to you?
Did something happen to you
to make you like this?
No, nothing happened.
We came from the same place, so...
Yeah, look at you.
Wow!
Look at that girl right there.
I have done everything for you.
OK.
Wasted my whole fucking life
because I'm always... somewhere with you.
Yeah, all right, man. Let's... Let's go.
- Where?
- To the... the Pasadena place.
I'm ready. Let's do it.
You can drive me now.
Chapter eight.
We're on the same boat.
You're on the same dock.
You board the same boat.
The boat is filling with water.
Admit to yourself.
I feel like I'm having a heart attack.
You're not.
No, you're not having a heart attack.
Notice the gathering clouds.
I can't breathe right now.
Katie. Katie, you're breathing.
- You're breathing right now.
- I feel like I'm drowning.
- Everything's going to be fine.
- How is it going to be fine?!
You are drowning. You are touching rock bottom...
how to drive this boat. You are on the same dock.
You are sinking. You are drowning.
...this boat. You are sinking.
You are touching rock bottom.
You are drowning.
You are sinking.
You are drowning.
You will swim.
You are touching rock bottom.
I need you to go to detox.
I will.
And then to rehab.
I-I will, I promise.
You need to get out!
- I want you to be clean so bad.
- Yeah, I know.
- I know. Me, too.
- You really have to do it this time.
Katie, I'm going to do it.
I-I can. I can do it.
I know.
But I can't take you.
You are swimming.
You have to go on your own.
What?
I'm sorry.
Up. Up.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Happy birthday to you!
Chapter ten.
There will always be a boat
at the end of a dock.
But tell yourself that you can choose...
whether or not...
to board.