I was a good kid.
A strong kid.
I always had a deep desire
to win.
Everything for me
was competition.
Hockey was my sport.
And that sport became my drug.
I got hit a lot in hockey.
I got hit hard.
I got driven into the boards.
I dislocated a shoulder.
I tore up a knee.
I couldn't walk for a summer.
I fell on my face.
I ate through a straw.
I got hit, I fell,
I got back up.
That's how I won.
Until I got hit by something
I couldn't beat.
I became addicted
to another drug.
It created a false sense
of victory.
I was in darkness.
I lost my way.
24-hours a day.
I bet the only thing
cranked up in your house...
Maybe the only way
to stop was to die.
We're gonna give you
some more of that coming up.
Let me give you guys
the weather today on this...
Can we call it lovely
February 6, 2004?
Looks like a big storm,
a big storm
coming in later this afternoon.
This is the craziest winter
I've seen in years.
Seriously...
Romans seven says,
"for I have the desire
to do what is good,"
but I cannot carry it out,
for I do not do the good
I want to do
but the evil
I don't want to do.
"This I keep on doing."
Do you know how many
millions of kids dream
of being a pro athlete,
of having that chance?
And... and you're throwing it
away by snorting meth?
Eric!
I'm done.
I'm not going
to help you anymore
until you want to help yourself.
Well, I hired you a lawyer.
He said you absolutely
have to show up in court
in seven days.
You're going
to have to commit
to a 12-step recovery program.
Oh, my god.
My god.
Idiot.
Come on. Oh, god.
That's your equity, idiot.
Wait!
Wait! Wait!
Wait!
God!
Hey.
- Hey.
- Ooh. But...
Seriously, there's four reasons
you should not be eating that,
the first one being
that's where Jackson pees.
Yeah.
It also lowers
your body temperature
and makes you prone
to hypothermia.
But the thing that most people
don't know
is it actually dehydrates you.
So, all in all,
not a good idea.
Good to know.
Um, I'm Sarah, by the way.
- Eric.
- Headed up the mountain?
- Yeah.
- Hop in, I'll give you a ride.
This close enough for you?
Whoa! Jackson, leave him alone.
We gotta go.
- Be safe out there, ok?
- Thanks.
Don't tell your beautiful
mother our secret, okay, buddy?
Enjoy the mountain air.
Always do.
Patrol 2 to base.
We gotta do something soon.
Hey, Corey wants to see you.
He said it's important.
- I know. I've already told him.
- No, he knows.
He's not leaving early. I think
this is actually important.
You've reached
Susan lemarque.
Please leave a message.
Hey, mom.
I'm out boarding. Uh...
I just had to get away
for a few days.
Uh...
Look, I never wanted
to bring you into this, so...
It's hard.
I'll talk to you later, okay?
So, the nucleus is going
to hit here,
it's a large impact zone,
it's definitely worse
than we thought.
It's predicting
two or three feet tonight.
Patrol 2, this is rm.
What's your location? Over.
This is patrol 2.
I'm at the top of the trail.
How's your visibility up there?
Well, the viz
is really bad.
When you get up the top,
there are pockets below
of total whiteout.
We might wanna consider
shutting down
the mountain early.
Argh!
Idiot!
Seriously?
God!
Okay, baby.
It's you and me.
Yeah, okay.
Come on.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Ugh!
Ah, damn it!
How many ladders
does lemarque owe me
for being ten minutes late?
But this isn't my fault!
Get up.
I can't.
I'm sorry, what?
I can't. I can't get up.
Five more.
Hey, Eric.
Son.
Son, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're a part of this team.
Understand that?
Now, will it always be fair? No.
Will it always be easy? No.
Now, you walk off that ice
right now,
you're letting your team down,
you're letting me down.
And I can't let you do that.
'Cause you're a lemarque.
And lemarques don't quit.
Come on.
Stop!
Aah!
Easy.
Easy.
Aah!
All he cares about
is... is pleasing you.
He just wants to be
good enough for you!
I get it, I get it.
You want me to let him
off the hook,
just let him do
whatever he wants.
You know, maybe our son
would be so much happier
if he had the time to play
and see friends
and watch a little TV,
god forbid,
instead of worrying
about pro hockey and the draft,
whatever new skill
you've tasked him with
that he'll never be
perfect enough for you.
You're stressing the boy out.
He's gonna have a breakdown
or something.
I got it, I got it. I
wanna tell you something, okay?
That boy...
That boy, he is never
gonna be a failure.
I am not gonna let him
be a failure.
It is never gonna happen, okay?
He's not gonna wake up
at 25 years old,
he's not gonna put
on a little tie,
and he's gonna iron his shirt,
David, iron his shirt,
and he's gonna kiss his wife...
Oh! Who he never
should have married!
Never should have married!
Never gonna happen!
He's not gonna go
to that 9-to-5,
not if I have anything
to do with it.
Okay, find where we started.
Find where we started,
you idiot.
Okay.
Aah.
All right.
You made me sleep...
Right about here.
Tried to throw me off a cliff
right over here.
And your...
Fanged friends paid me
a visit right here.
So that means...
The resort...
Should be right here.
Oh!
Oh!
Aah!
Lemarque!
What are you doing?
Move the puck!
Don't be so selfish.
Now move the puck!
Move your feet, get going.
Move it, move it.
Give it to 'em!
Move the puck! Use 'em!
Move it! Give it to 'em!
Give it to 'em!
Damn it.
Move the puck!
Move it! Move it!
You all right?
You kidding me?
What the hell was that?
Lemarque!
Lemarque, what the hell
are you doing?
You gotta be a team player.
Move the puck.
I scored a goal, didn't I?
It's not I, it's we.
It's the crest on the front,
not the name on the back!
You're gonna
have to figure that out!
Aah!
Hey, mom.
I'm out boarding. Uh...
I just had to get away
for a few days. Uh...
Look, I never wanted
to bring you into this, so...
It's hard.
I'll talk to you later, okay?
I'm getting off this mountain.
I'm getting off this mountain.
I'm getting
off this mountain.
Curse!
You can't hold me!
You can't stop me!
Yeah!
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Oh!
Yes!
Yes!
Oh, my god!
Oh, my god, it's cold!
Oh, my...
Ow-oo!
Oh, my god.
Ow-oo!
You idiot.
Ow-oo! Whoa!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, god!
Pounding, I mean pounding
against glass.
Goal!
Red light spinning, whoo!
- You want one of these?
- No, I'm good.
Oh, yeah.
I miss it so much.
I miss it so much.
I know you miss it, too.
You gotta miss it.
I don't miss shit about Boston.
It's your shot.
A new rule in my house.
And that rule is,
I don't play pool with liars.
Come on, man, it's your shot,
just take the shot.
I get it, okay, I understand.
It's gotta be really hard
for you to come and see me
and see my awesome life
with this great house
and this amazing view,
but the only reason why I'm here
is because you decided
not to be.
I'm sorry, dude.
I...
I get it, man.
I'm right there
alongside you, man.
I get it, I miss it too.
All the guys that ever played
miss it.
That's...
That's why I do this stuff.
It gives me that rush back,
that adrenaline,
that feeling I can't get back.
I... I know you miss that, man.
I know you do.
Here, give me that.
Ohh!
God!
Ohh!
Oh, no.
One...
Two...
Aah!
The tram...
Where's the tram?
The tram has gotta be there.
What?
What do you want from me?
What do you want from me?!
Damn it!
What do you want from me?!
I'm gonna go this way.
I'm going this way.
I'm going this way.
"The sun
shall not smite thee by day"
nor the moon by night.
The lord shall preserve thee
from all evil.
He shall preserve thy soul.
The lord shall preserve
thy going out
and thy coming in
from this time forth
"and even forevermore."
This is Eric.
Leave a message.
Hi, Eric, it's mom again.
Uh, I just wanna make sure
that you're...
Listen...
About what I said before...
I just want you to know
that I'm here
and that you don't have to
go through this alone.
So call me.
Please.
Okay? Bye.
You're the best thing
in the whole world.
Mama loves you so much.
Two...
Aah!
Aah!
Getting by...
It's a breakaway!
Lemarque! He shoots, he scores!
Goddamn it!
Eric!
Eric, what's going on? Eric?
What's happening down here?
Are you all right?
- Fine, mom.
- What's going on?
Come on, Eric.
You're living down here
for six months,
no job, no money, no nothing
and this is what you're doing,
destroying everything?
You think I wanna be here? Think
I wanna be living like this?
You think I wanna be reminded
of this shit every day?!
No, I don't!
No! And I wanna help you.
I'm your mother.
I wanna help you,
but you have to let me in.
A signal.
Maybe if I can get a signal.
They can track me.
Find me.
Come on. Come on.
- Oh, crap.
- Yeah, hello?
- Oh, hello.
- Hello?
Hi, Tony.
This is Susan lemarque.
- I'm Eric's mother.
- Oh, hey.
Yes, hi. I know that we
haven't spoken much,
because, uh, well, anyway,
I know he's talked about you,
about snowboarding.
And, uh...
He's up in winter haven,
or he was
the last time I spoke to him,
but he's missed
a very important court date.
And I'm very worried about him,
and I haven't spoken to him
in six days.
What's this have
to do with me?
I was wondering if he'd
reached out to you.
Yeah, I called him
when he was up there.
You did? Oh, when was that?
It was Thursday.
I see.
Do you have an address for him?
Yeah, let me look.
- Oh, fantastic.
He's at
the winter haven cabin.
Great.
Very easy to find.
- Oh, this is wonderful, Tony.
More than you can know.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, yeah.
Aah!
Oh, please, please, don't let me
find him lying on the floor.
Please.
Eric? Eric?
What?
Eric!
His clothes are still here.
Damn it.
Eric!
- Sarah, risk management.
- Susan.
Nice to meet you.
So, exactly how long has it been
since you last saw your son?
Seven days. I went to
the cabin where he was staying
and there was no phone,
wallet or keys,
but everything else
was there.
And when you last
heard from him,
you're sure he was here?
Oh, yes, yes, he left me
a message.
I just didn't
hear my phone.
Okay, the first thing
we do in this situation
is file a missing persons report
with the sheriff's office.
Then if they don't
have any leads,
I'll call search and rescue.
The process will probably
take about a day or two.
No, no, Sarah,
you don't understand.
My son had a court date
yesterday that he missed. Okay?
And that message he left me,
that was not normal,
him telling me where he was
and what he was doing.
He never does that, never.
You wanna know why
he did it?
Because he
was letting me know
he was gonna make it
to the court date,
he was getting it together.
So when I walk
into that courtroom
and he is not there,
and then I walk into that cabin
and I see his clothes
and old congealed food
sitting there and no him?
I can't wait a day or two,
and if he is out
there in that snow
on that mountain,
neither can he.
Okay, you have a photo?
Yes, yes, I do.
Search and rescue.
Search and rescue? Yeah, this is
rm down at winter haven.
I need to report
a missing person.
What's the name?
- Full name?
- Eric lemarque.
Eric... Eric lemarque.
How long has
he been missing?
- Seven days ago.
- You have a photo?
Yeah, I'm getting
the photo now.
I'm gonna need search and rescue
on the helipad in 15 minutes.
Fifteen, copy.
- Thank you.
You know my son?
- Walk with me.
- You've met my son?
I've met your son, okay?
I gave him a ride up
the mountain seven days ago,
but that's all I know.
Right now I'm just trying
to take precautions.
Corey,
get the whole team searching
for anything with radio comms.
I'm talking about cell phones,
fm/am radios,
anything that's gonna
receive a signal.
You got it.
Hopefully, he'll get
to the top of the mountain.
You think he's up there?
I know he's up there.
- Ready to go?
- Yeah, let's go.
Patrol 1,
search and rescue in progress.
"White male, 6' 3" tall.
Curt, anything come up yet?
Fm, am, cell.
Nothing. T-cast is clear.
We've got 15 minutes
till we lose visibility.
Wait!
Wait!
Wait! Wait!
Aaaah!
Wait!
Aaaah!
Wait!
Wait!
Wait! Wait!
Wait!
Sarah, we have to call it.
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
I'm so sorry.
Mama loves you.
With all her heart.
No.
I can't let her find me
like this.
Hey...
Thought you might want these.
It gets pretty cold up here.
That's very kind.
You must definitely
want that back.
Yes, definitely, thank you.
As soon as the sun comes up,
we'll be back up there.
What about tonight?
What's Eric gonna do
out there tonight?
If I take my team
out there tonight,
this becomes a rescue mission
for more than one person.
I can't risk that,
I'm sorry.
Are you close
with your mother, Sarah?
Sometimes.
Bet you call her
like once...
Every other week or so,
if that much.
I can guarantee you
that those seven minutes
are the highlight
of her month.
Because then she gets to feel
like she's a part
of your life again.
'Cause she still remembers
when you were little
and she would hold you
and sing you to sleep,
and it was the happiest
time of her life.
I just want you
to imagine, god forbid,
something should happen
to you in your line of work
and you were no longer here.
Your mother's life
would essentially be over.
Her heart would be
an empty hole.
I just
need you to understand.
You have to find my son.
Please.
You have to find him.
Gotta make it to the top.
Hey, this has been the coldest
winter we've had in ten years.
Three, four days tops.
That's the longest
someone could survive
out there in these conditions.
I'll call the report in.
Thanks.
Comm center
from life flight.
Go from comm center.
You can cancel
search and rescue.
This is gonna be
a body recovery.
Aaaah!
About 12 more steps.
Aah!
All right, results are in.
Your kids made the snowmen
you sent us
to our radio station's
website...
Hey, guys, can you
excuse me for a minute?
We have some
late-breaking information.
Turns out a face drawn
on the windshield of a car
does not count as a snowman.
That is just a car...
Not actually made
out of snow.
Help.
Come on.
Are you kidding me, man?
The organization dumped me.
You don't gotta lie
to me about it.
I was there at that practice
when you walked away.
You were the future
of the franchise.
You were twice as good
as I ever was.
Do you understand
how frustrating that is?
To watch somebody
that has everything,
everything,
and then you just walk away.
You quit!
Lemarque! Lemarque!
What the hell are you doing?
It's not I, it's we.
It's the crest on the front,
not the name on the back.
You're gonna have
to figure that out.
Now, today, get off my ice.
Beat it! I've had enough of you.
You're done for the day.
Get off my ice.
You're right. I am done.
Don't even think
about it.
That's a one-way ticket, pal.
- Dad!
- No, Eric.
- Don't go after him.
- Dad!
Dad!
Where are you going? Dad?
Dad! You can't go!
You can't leave!
Open the door right now.
You can't go!
Come here, baby!
Where are you going?!
You can't leave
your own son, you coward!
No!
What are you doing?! Wait!
Don't do it!
Dad!
This isn't my fault!
They took my skates!
Stop pointing this
at everybody else.
Because you do that in life,
it is gonna hurt
a whole lot worse than this,
do you understand me?
- Do you understand me?!
- Yes, sir.
The whole world's wondering,
lemarque...
Why'd ya quit?
Spencer
and his snowman, is that huge!
That is a lot of snow...
Hi, mom.
It's me.
I don't really know what it is
I wanna say.
But I don't think I have
too much time, so...
I just want you to know that
I'm okay without those things.
And that I... I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for everything.
Turns out I'm a bit
of a coward myself.
It's funny.
We only get to live
life forward.
But it never makes any sense
until we're looking back.
I need you to know that we've
canceled the search and rescue.
Why?
We've now ruled this
a body recovery.
I love you, mom.
Hey, uh, Sarah,
we just had a signal pop up.
Wait, wait, hold on a minute.
We just had a signal popped up
and then it disappeared.
- Where?
- Uh, mount widow's peak.
- But it wasn't one of ours.
- You sure?
Yeah, positive.
Search and rescue,
this is rm.
We picked up
a signal on mount widow's peak.
Coordinates
are north 4-0-3-2-3-0.60,
west 111-4-1-3.07.
Hold on, Eric.
Hey, got him!
Up on that Ridge, two o'clock.
Please, let him be alive.
Please,
let him be alive.
Please, let him be alive.
Search and rescue
to base.
Two minutes out before landing.
You're going
to be okay, Eric.
You're going to be okay.
Eric!
You're alive!
I love you, sweetheart!
Sometimes you get hit.
You fall.
You can't get back up.
And you fall further.
Before the mountain, I couldn't
see how far I'd fallen.
Maybe that's what I had
to go through...
To finally live.
Sometimes a part
of yourself has to die
maybe even the part
you love most...
before you can realize
what makes you whole
and clearly see
that it's larger than us.
If you're in the dark,
get through it
by seeing the invisible so that
you can do the impossible.
Be responsible and accountable
for yourself.
Just fail forward.
It will all make sense
when you see the light
at the break of dawn.
I thank my mother
for being there for me,
I thank my wife for loving me,
I thank my kids
for inspiring me.
And now, by the grace of god,
I can thank you, hockey,
and the mountain
for giving me my hope.