A GENTLE CREATURE
Why are you sitting like this?
Why are you so sad?
I'm talking to you!
Wake up!
Your ID.
Everybody knows.
Everybody understands.
If a war starts, then what?
One nuclear missile...
You think Russians can't aim?
There are many ways
to blow up America with a single missile.
- One nuclear missile, dammit!
- What else is there to say?
Youngsters always
jump the queue.
I need to get my pension.
I want to eat.
Two hundred rubles.
What for?
It's "return to sender".
Why has it been returned?
- Put it over there.
- Doesn't it say anything?
The reason is not specified.
What does that mean?
I don't know.
Where did you send it?
Excuse me.
Do you have any blank forms?
- On the table.
- Thank you.
To a prison?
Sign here.
Doesn't it say anything else?
Are you going to pay?
Or should I take it back?
- Can I collect a parcel?
- There's a queue, young man.
Be patient!
Why has it been returned?
Usually, there are no problems.
Please check.
Isn't there a note?
Maybe it's possible to find out?
Sign here.
Come this way,
I'll give it to you over there.
Maybe there were
some papers attached?
Papers? This is a post office,
not prison information!
Please tell me
who I should contact!
Your husband?
Your son?
Your father, then?
Leave her alone.
Father or no father,
what's it to you?
I'm only trying to help.
Can't you see she is confused?
How can you help her?
Get away from her.
She doesn't want to talk to you.
I'll spit in your face.
I'll cough up some TB on you!
Don't you dare.
Get lost!
Our Zinka. The one who lives
in the blue house.
On the corner of Lenin
and Engels Streets.
They dug up an arm or something
in that area,
and that's where he spotted her.
Which Zinka?
There's only one Zinka round here.
At first they hid the body.
Yes...
I told you!
She knows everything.
Then they went back
and chopped up the body.
With the very same chainsaw
he gave him.
The same chainsaw
they used to cut her up.
Then they buried the parts in the forest,
so the police took a week
to find all the pieces.
Some here, some there.
I wondered why they...
It turns out, that's why.
- They dug it out of the snow?
- No, it was summer.
What am I,
a shelf for your parcel?
Hold your box properly, lady.
Stop putting it on my feet!
I'm wearing stockings, you know.
Get your box off me!
Where should she move it?
There's people here, too!
We have legs, too. Quit moaning!
Mind your own business!
It's not the same.
You're wearing pants.
Pants or no pants,
I still have legs.
They know the bus is packed
and they push inside with their boxes!
They ferry boxes all over the place.
Here, there and back,
boxes all the way!
One time it was a coffin...
The whole bus helped to hold it.
They held it high, over their heads.
What choice did they have?
A man died. He must be buried.
His relatives could pay
for a coffin,
but not for transportation.
So they had to take it on the bus.
Who would object?
Nobody.
We're all going to die.
So, your coffin, clear lady,
will be carried in the same manner.
Shut up, old lady!
Why?
You think you're immortal?
We're all going to croak.
Even you.
And you won't need your stockings, then.
Just my luck...
Every time I get on a bus,
there's always some idiot riding with me!
Who won't shut up!
Now she doesn't like my stockings.
Know where you can shove
my stockings?
I had a pal about 20 years ago.
One night we ride the bus home.
The next day he doesn't turn up.
What happened?
He died overnight.
Just like that.
The detective kept coming.
They'd dug everything up
and ID'd the body.
But he kept coming back.
So the people started wondering,
why is he still hanging around?
He wasn't getting anywhere.
Just kept coming and going.
So?
So I'm telling you.
He was visiting Zinka.
While looking for the corpse,
he had his eye on Zinka.
- And?
- Our Zinka.
The one in the blue house,
at the corner of Lenin and Engels.
They dug up an arm or something
and he chatted her up...
I've been looking out for you!
I wasn't sure that was you.
My nephew is here.
I filled his tank from our extra supply.
It's too far to walk.
The roads are bad.
- Say hello.
- Hi.
If Petrovich drops by,
tell him that the pump is leaking.
I told him already,
but he didn't fix it.
Oh Well...
There's water, tea and sugar.
And there's some bread left.
Help yourself.
Well...
The lock is on the nail,
the key is in the lock.
I'm off, over to you.
You won't be bored tonight,
you've got company.
What's worth guarding
in your house?
Can you replace me next week?
Something happened?
They granted me a visit.
I need a couple of days.
This is sacred.
You'll see your man.
You're withering away,
here alone.
Be quiet!
Is it OK?
So you get to go to town.
You get to see people.
My man never went to prison,
so I never had a chance
to see the world.
Oh God...
Son of a bitch!
I hope they put him in prison one day.
Can you cover for me?
Well...
You stay here all clay long,
not a single car.
Nobody to talk to.
What are we guarding here?
There was just one car today.
A foreigner. Spoke no Russian.
I say this, I say that,
all he can say is "bla-bla-bla".
And you're going to town!
You're going to see people!
We're stuck here with the radio,
nothing but "bla-bla-bla".
So? Is it OK then?
I have to go.
He's waiting for me.
What's your answer?
My answer, my answer...
Bring us a treat.
Not for me. I need nothing.
Something for my nephew.
He's got a sweet tooth.
I'll leave the dog here.
Look after the house.
You've got nothing to steal!
Off we go!
Step through.
Through the metal detector.
Hurry UP-
Step on through.
Keys, phones and weapons on the table!
Keep it moving.
And the weapon between my legs?
On the table, too?
There's always castration.
It's not castration,
it's circumcision!
- Over here, with your bag.
- Move on.
For kids?
Yes, kids' stuff, and mine.
Move on.
What have you got in here?
A box.
What kind of box?
A parcel.
What kind of parcel?
An ordinary parcel.
And what's in the parcel?
Some things, clothes,
canned food.
What canned food?
Canned fish.
I see.
Take your bag and follow me.
- Where are you going?
- Siberia, of course.
- Excellent choice of destination!
- Thanks.
- What's that?
- Condensed milk.
Are you sure?
You can check it.
Want some condensed milk?
Boss, I want
some condensed milk!
Meanie!
Give me some condensed milk!
Put that back.
Put it all back in. Hurry up.
Don't do it!
Girl, give me some condensed milk,
please.
Baby!
Don't be mean!
Stop.
Take your coat off.
Take it off.
Strip her!
Against the wall. Arms up.
Hey red-dress, how do you do?
How about a little screw?
What a pretty girl!
Do you like her?
Turn round.
Touch me!
Touch me up!
Touch me up, boss!
Get dressed and take your stuff.
Why get dressed?
Get undressed!
Get undressed!
Boss...
Undress her!
What's your husband in prison for?
Murder.
Of a cat!
- Who did he kill?
- Give me condensed milk!
Nobody.
- So why is he in prison?
- He killed a cat!
Because he was sentenced.
It can happen to anyone.
You don't go to prison
for nothing, here.
Nonsense.
Yes, you do!
Why am I in prison?
I love women
and I want condensed milk!
Should I go to prison for that?
Because I want milk?
Citizen X was questioned
by Officers Y and Z
on this date, of that year,
at the entrance to N town station,
on suspicion of terrorism.
Citizen X was searched,
nothing found.
Citizen X was then released
to continue her journey to prison X
for the purpose
of visiting her husband.
- Sign and date it.
- Sign nothing!
What is this for?
Rules.
What do you think?
Don't sign!
Sign and you can go.
Say you're illiterate.
Put her in here!
I'll beat the shit out of you, freak!
Easy to pick on a cripple!
Give me milk!
And all the shit fell on our country.
Yanks and fucking Nazis.
- Are you nuts?
- You guys fucked up.
You weren't born,
when I drove a tank.
Know what that means?
It was great.
The whole world in our hand.
Lady, do you know what that means?
Your generation fucked it all up!
What about you?
Do you know about our tanks?
The armour is strong
and our tanks are swift!
There!
And our men are full of courage
The Soviet tankmen are
ready for action
Sons of their Great Motherland!
Thundering with fire,
steel gleaming in the sun
The tanks will launch
a mighty attack!
When we're called to battle
by Comrade Stalin
Voroshilov will lead us all the way!
Exactly! Squash the fuckers.
Our grandfathers weren't dumb!
They knew what they were doing
when they built all that.
That's it.
Drink to that with us, lady!
Let's drink to your son.
May he rest in peace.
To your son, lady!
You must drink to this, it's sacred!
Rest in peace.
May he rest in peace.
To your son.
Well clone, lady.
I got home from work,
and found a note,
saying to go somewhere.
I went.
And they told me:
"here's the address, off you go."
They tell me there's been
a tragedy, a heroic death.
They said I should sign
the papers to get the money.
I couldn't understand it,
but they said
they'd take care of everything.
They said: "go pick it up."
But what?
So I went. What else could I do?
It took me a whole day
to find a replacement.
I had to or they'd fire me.
And then what?
They said that...
"For your dead son,
you'll get a lot of money."
What money?
How will they pay me?
So here I am.
Pick what up?
My son or the money?
So where was he killed?
Lady?
Did they tell you where he was killed?
They didn't tell me where...
The guy was a hero.
- To the hero!
- To the hero!
May he rest in peace.
Over the river Don,
under a large oak
A Cossack woman waved goodbye
to her handsome bloke
A Cossack woman waved goodbye
to her handsome bloke
She waved goodbye by the town
of Rostov, in a field
She embraced her dashing
Cossack in the blowing wind
I grew up in Magadan, Siberia.
We can beat them all!
We will, man, we will.
The whole world is looking at us!
We're doing this for them!
I grew up in Magadan.
So many people died!
We sacrifice everything,
but they are all against us!
Why?
Because they're all
a bunch of assholes, man.
Why should we save them?
It's our mission, to save the world.
That's exactly what I mean!
Mission!
When I was a kid,
there were rockets all over town.
But they let it all go,
and the world got ugly.
So now they are making rockets again,
so no one can push us about.
Do you have your own mug,
my friend?
Let's drink to our great mission!
To our enormous suffering.
- To our guys!
- To our guys!
You want some tea?
- Tea? Tea, anyone?
- Thanks.
- How much?
- 20 rubles.
No, thanks.
Put one glass there!
It's on me, my sweet.
My sweet...
Thank you.
Where are you going?
To visit my husband.
What's he in for?
For nothing.
So what was he sentenced for?
Nothing.
They put him in, he'll get out.
I did 5 years.
I still don't know why.
That's what prison's like.
I remember the port of Vanino
The ominous cry of the steamships
As we climbed a ladder to board
To descend into cold dark holds
The swell tormented us prisoners
As we clung to each other like brothers
And, now and then, bitter curses
Escaped our suffering lips
The mist disappeared by day
The violent storm had subsided
The great Magadan came our way
The heart of the land of Kolyma
I know you're not waiting for me
And you don't even open my letters
You will never come to meet me
And even if you do, you won't know me
Going somewhere?
Go on, go on, give me your bag.
What are you waiting for?
Get in.
I'm the cheapest here.
Where are you going?
Where do you think?
Either a hotel or the prison.
Which do you like better?
I need to go to the prison.
That's what I thought.
Husband?
Father?
Is it your son?
Just someone I know.
I see... Well, well.
It's a date, isn't it?
Something like that.
I've seen a lot of your kind.
Some real stunners!
Sweep you off your feet.
I remember one black girl.
One hot mama!
Great big lips she had.
And everything else, too.
Is this your first time?
You behave like a fresher.
I could tell.
You look at people differently.
Nobody looks you in the eye
here, just the odd glance.
Guess why?
You got it.
Man is a wolf to his fellow man.
And how do wolves live?
In packs. Get it?
Our prison here is
a sacred place.
An icon. It made this town.
What would you do here
without a prison?
It's as precious as gold.
It helps people live.
Some people stay inside,
and others live off it.
You get it?
There.
So here we pray for this prison
to thrive and prosper.
It's our church, so to speak.
People like you come,
I earn a living.
I give you a lift, some food,
here and there,
that's how the economy works.
And what's prison?
It keeps people safe.
People are brainless creatures.
Let them out, they get shot.
End of story.
But in prison it's like
they're in a bank vault.
You do your time, you pay,
you get out. Sign here!
Want to stay longer?
By all means!
You get out,
breathe the air of freedom,
look at the blue sky,
hang out with your mates,
have a great time...
...and then you get low.
Sick with depression.
It's so bad you could choke.
The prison saved so many people.
You can't imagine who's been here.
So your man's lucky.
We've got a great prison.
We'll be there in a sec.
I'll drive you up right there,
like a VIP.
- Where do I go now?
- You walk.
Where to?
I'm not allowed any closer.
I drove you as far as I could.
The office is over there.
Fill out two copies.
They also eat snails
in that shitty France.
Snails squeak when you eat them.
Savages!
- Next!
- Two forms, please.
40 rubles.
And why is your nose all burnt?
Don't you use sunscreen?
Fill out two copies.
Next!
Next!
Can't you talk?
Fill out two copies.
A guy had 3 sons,
2 in prison, one moron.
They pick one
and give him hell.
Next!
If he puts up a fight
they beat him up.
They make threats to tear him
limb from limb
until he looks like
the Union Jack!
Until he remembers the criminal code
and his crimes.
That's how it works...
Next!
So I'm telling you.
This joint is OK.
Parcels get inside,
all nice and legal.
Some say
the army recruits in here.
A reduced sentence in exchange
for combat duty.
It's all lies made up in America.
Who'd agree
to get themselves killed?
That's what I've heard.
I don't know myself.
- It has to be official, right?
- All done in secret.
One day he's a prison inmate,
and the next day,
he's a hero
of the Russian Federation.
He gets a flat, a car, the whole lot.
Serve your motherland,
your motherland covers you.
Hero my ass.
They snuff him out.
Never trust cops, or the army.
Don't sell us this crap.
Did you bring a parcel
or you're just keeping warm?
- It's not allowed.
- Bothering people!
Why isn't it allowed?
I can show you a receipt.
It's Krakow sausage!
Kra-kow.
Can you believe it?
They're not accepting
smoked sausage today!
- Next!
- They make up new rules every day!
Sign here.
Next.
Your papers.
Not allowed.
How come?
It's on the list!
OK, get it out.
Does your husband get
his meat out, too?
Yeah, I doubt
you have a husband...
Not allowed.
What is allowed here?
You don't eat anything
and you don't let others?
- Come on.
- People need to eat.
If I had known,
I'd have brought cheap cigs.
Like the crap you smoke.
How's anyone going
to shave with those?
Take one,
you could slit your wrists.
Shut up.
Don't shut me up!
You didn't open my mouth,
and you can't shut it.
Relax!
What the hell is this mess?
Those were good slippers!
I bet you've never seen
anything like them.
You and your felt boots...
And...
You can have them now.
Take them to your grave.
Something to tart you up in there.
The conversation is over.
It hasn't even started.
I'll see you soon, skank.
Shut your trap.
Next.
Your papers?
Next.
- Why next? What about me?
- Not allowed. Next!
- Why?
- Because I said so.
And don't make a fuss.
Next!
Check the files!
Is my husband here?
Can you tell me where he is?
You need to file an enquiry,
with the appropriate department.
Next!
I'm no information desk.
But why do you refuse my parcel?
I've had enough.
I'm not obliged to do anything!
What was the point of that?
Now we all suffer!
Talk bad to them and they get ratty.
They're already rats.
Don't shout at the woman.
You can see she's upset...
We are all upset!
Don't worry, lady,
it'll be OK.
- The bitch is crabby today, that's all.
- Yes, of course.
I feel sorry anyway...
For all of us.
Do you smoke?
Then I won't either.
So they didn't accept it.
It happens quite often here.
Don't be upset.
You'll come back tomorrow.
Do you have a place to stay?
I don't know, yet.
OK, look here,
there is a hotel in town,
but it's for big fraudsters,
money hustlers.
The ones with dough.
The others rent rooms in town.
My name is Zinka.
I won't charge you much.
I'm doing it for the people,
because I want to help
the likes of you.
People like you suffer so much,
so much...
It breaks my heart.
I have a room for you.
Better than a hen house.
But you'll have to share.
People in the same situation.
Do you think you are unique?
It's small but cosy.
Nothing fancy.
Shall we go?
Let's go!
You must be hungry.
This one's fast,
always gets her prey.
Lots of suckers around.
Alyonka!
She's still soaking
on the platform in the rain
More booze?
Farewell, farewell,
my clear soulmate
I'll never see my love again
The mill of life will grind up everything
That got mixed up in our way
Let tears flow like a fountain
From your lovely big eyes
My dear friend is now out of here
She goes back to normal life
And the freedom,
and the freedom tastes so good
Mum and Dad, I don't doubt,
wait for you
And your darling baby sister...
Alyonka!
She's still soaking
on the platform in the rain
Farewell, farewell,
our paths are parting
And our fate is split in two
You will be fighting for your future
I will be rotting in my cell
Let tears flow like a fountain
Forcing the guards to look away
It'll always stay in our memory
The scroll of Shakhov prison days
And the freedom,
and the freedom tastes so good
Mum and Dad, I don't doubt,
wait for you
And your darling baby sister...
Hush! What's her name?
What's her name? Come on!
Come on! Say it!
Alyonka?
Alyonka!
She's waiting for your train
in the pouring rain
Mum!
Bravo!
Let's drink to Ra ya,
our young Ra ya!
The world hasn't seen
a drunkard like her!
Raya, Raya, bottoms up!
We will fill another cup!
Raya, Raya, bottoms up!
We will fill another cup!
When I worked for a newspaper,
I wrote children's poetry,
poetry as if written by children.
- Lard?
- Gherkins sitting in a jar.
- Juicy, tasty as they are.
- Yes, yes.
"Days and weeks go by,
Life is tough for little guys.
"If the jar doesn't explode,
they will meet their end alone!"
Dumb pickles!
Hang on,
don't interrupt, there's more.
"Couldn't wait another day,
pushed the lid off far away!
"Seal the jar, it lasts for years.
"Now the housewife's in tears."
- I know a joke about cucumbers.
- Hang on, I'm not finished.
That poem cost me my job!
One day the boss says to me,
"Did you Write this?"
I foolishly thought
he would give me a raise,
but they sacked me
for political propaganda.
- They said my poem incited revolt.
- What fucking nonsense!
Want one?
Listen, guys,
I know a joke about cucumbers.
A woman asks her neighbour,
"How come your tomatoes grow so well?"
And the neighbour says,
"I come to the greenhouse all naked,
"and the tomatoes turn red."
Hang on!
The next week they meet again.
"Well, did it Work?
"Not with tomatoes,
but the cucumbers
"are coming up like crazy!"
Once he was cussing
the mother of mine
But I don't care about this
all, I'm not due for parole
So I'm staying here
for a long while!
But I don't care!
I'm not due for parole
So I'm staying here
for a long while!
Go quiet your child!
That's yours!
Don't you think I know
my own child's cry?
Shut up, all of you!
- They are all mine!
- Yes?
"A retired soldier,
a spent bullet.
"He is still a warrior,
"It's a joy to be with him!"
Here you are, my beauty!
- Give me the pickle!
- Wait!
Give me that pickle!
Let's do it this way.
One!
Two!
Three! Four!
- Hello! Yes!
- Five! Six!
- Coming!
- Seven!
Eight! Nine!
- Go there.
- Ten!
Listen, she's a weirdo.
Doesn't talk, doesn't drink...
Won't drink, won't smoke,
won't fuck your brains out!
Get out of here.
- There's a man looking for you.
- What kind of man?
I told him about your problem.
He wants to have a look at you.
Don't be afraid. I know him.
You can trust him.
He's waiting outside.
You're the one?
Yes.
Got your passport on you?
Come on, give it to me.
Don't be afraid.
OK. Let me see how I can place you.
"Place" me?
Relax. I'm just talking.
Thinking aloud.
What are your measurements?
What measurements?
Well, you know,
38-24-38 or something like that...
I don't know.
What for?
For the record.
Don't know.
The boss needs to know.
What boss?
Look at you!
Do you know where you are?
You've come to a prison town.
A strategically important location.
And every strategic location
has its bosses.
You weren't sent here.
You came on your own, right?
You've come to find out
about the fate of...
Who is it?
Husband, father, son?
So?
Well, there you are.
Enquiries about inmates
go straight to the bosses.
If you behave,
this can be worked out.
I've got an idea
that might work for you.
Don't show your passport
to anyone else.
If they ask for it,
tell them Armen has been informed.
Who's Armen?
Doesn't matter.
Just memorise my words.
Don't go anywhere tomorrow.
Stay here and wait.
Don't wander around town.
I'll arrange everything
and get back to you.
Or I'll send my guys for you,
if things move fast.
We'll settle up later.
I don't have much money.
If you're broke,
you'll find another way to pay me.
What do you mean?
Don't worry.
Just thinking aloud.
Don't trust that old bag.
She's a real cunt.
You smell good.
Hey, old bag!
Stop eavesdropping!
Your ears will drop off!
Watch it, I'll report you
as an enemy of the people.
You've got a real brothel here.
Well, see you.
Come on! Come on!
Take it off!
I told you she'd be the first!
You take it off!
God damn you!
"Such heavy blossoms
are hanging off your chest.
"We'll dress up top to bottom,
get ready for a feast."
Idiot!
Catch it!
Don't you piss in here, asshole!
"This is the end of my rhyme.
"My life's not been easy as most.
"I wanted to dance ballet in my prime,
but got stuck here at my post."
Let's spin.
I'm in.
We found you at last!
Penalty striptease!
Penalty striptease!
Take it off!
Take it off! Take it off!
Sign here.
Next.
- I'm not taking it.
- Why?
- Not allowed.
- Why is it not allowed?
I told you yesterday
it's not allowed.
It's not allowed.
No point in arguing.
Look in your files!
My husband is here.
I have the right
to know where he is!
You need to file an enquiry.
I'm no information desk!
Next. Are you coming or not?
They do what they want!
Come back tomorrow.
They'll soften up.
Sometimes they transfer people
to other prisons without a word.
The people here suck.
Next.
Here. Perhaps they can help you.
At least you can register there.
Are you sleeping there?
Who's this chick in the facility?
DO NOT ENTER
You're not allowed to stand here.
You're not allowed to stand here.
You don't get it?
OK.
Lieutenant Zamurayev.
Let's take a ride.
Stop here.
Listen to me carefully.
It's all up to you.
I can lock you up for illegal picketing.
That's number one.
Disobeying police orders.
That's two.
Or I find something in your bag.
Three.
Do you understand?
You were told your parcel
wouldn't be accepted?
Right?
So?
So why did you come back today?
Weren't they clear?
What shall I do now?
File an enquiry with the authorities.
What authorities?
He's locked inside there.
Who fights like that?
At last!
It's none of your business who's inside.
It's a state secret.
Why are you wasting your time?
Shall we lock her up?
Yes, sweetheart.
No, sweetheart.
Yes, sweetheart.
No, sweetheart.
I'll call you later.
Love you.
Love you, sweetheart.
If it were up to me,
I would have locked her up.
- Who's in prison?
- My husband.
You don't have a husband,
while he's in prison.
Do you understand?
So what should I do?
I told you, she's stupid.
Wait...
Go to the station, get on a train,
go home and go back to work.
Do you have a job?
Good!
I'll let you go without a statement,
but keep your mouth shut.
I'm being nice here.
Any questions?
Well? To the station?
See? We're being kind to you.
32 shells,
32 shells.
27 calibre machine gun.
Fire a weapon like that,
you shoot a man to shreds.
What do we care?
I've been looking for you
all morning.
Get in, quick!
Come on, it's for your own sake!
Don't be afraid, it's OK.
I've arranged everything.
Get in! Come on!
Get in. Off we go.
Don't you trust Pasha?
You think Pasha is bluffing?
You think Pasha is having you on?
You think Pasha is conning you?
I told you to stay home.
Why did you go there?
The cops had a chat with you?
They told you to piss off?
They're a bunch of clowns,
they can't do a thing.
Don't mess with them.
But they can't do anything.
It's all talk.
They're fucking nobodies.
So I talked to this guy about you.
We're going to go see him.
He's busy with another deal right now.
What's this?
What's up?
Come on, get off the road!
Out of the way!
Go on! Clear off!
I've got to pick up a hooker.
Then we'll deal with you.
Wait here.
Have you no shame?
You're a whore, too?
This place is crawling with them!
Like bees on honey.
Where does that pimp find you all?
This residence is for the prison staff.
It's not a whorehouse.
And they're all bitches and thieves!
The whores all dissolved in acid!
I work like a slave from dawn till dusk.
You think it's easy to wash clothes?
Look at my hands.
Are you scared?
You should be.
I've been caring for my man all my life,
and he went off screwing whores.
Yes!
The whores all dissolved in acid!
And he's there with them.
Yes... There, in the acid pit.
I saw with my own eyes,
how it ate everything.
Not a single bone left.
All gone!
No condom will save you!
Now you want to whore, too?
So old, but still wants to whore!
You don't want to wash clothes?
You don't want soap and water?
You'll wind up in the acid pit.
Go figure!
Her man hanged himself long ago,
and she's still washing his underwear.
There's no place to send her.
Our asylum burned down.
They say the patients set it on fire.
But what the fuck for,
since they all died?
They were all nuts,
so I guess it figures.
Listen.
She calls me up
and says to come over and chill.
So she brings a friend along,
the one with no tits.
You know her!
Crazy bitch!
We took some booze along,
to loosen things up.
And we were chilling.
Out of the blue,
she needs a fucking phone charger!
And I didn't hear her.
So she loses it!
You're not my fucking friend!
I asked you as my fucking friend
and you said no!
So I tell her to shut her fucking mouth!
We start fighting.
And this dumb whore
is laughing like a maniac.
She calls me bitch, I call her bitch!
She's laughing!
So we thrashed her.
Thrashed her how?
Did you mess her up?
Only her head.
She's thick as a brick, anyway.
Know what her problem was?
She got jealous over a client!
He said I suck dick better than her!
How would he know, anyway?
He was dead drunk!
What a fucking story...
Goddamn joke!
Who's she?
None of your business.
You fucking pervert.
Into old bags now?
Shut the fuck up!
Relax. I'm kidding.
I've got a stressful job.
One client even tried to set me on fire.
He smeared some stuff on me
and lit it up. It tickled.
I'm on fire and he's fucking me.
Fucking pervert...
When you get bored with old bags,
come over.
He's the top brass here.
He's the man.
He's in charge here.
Sorts everything.
Got the cops in the palm of his hand.
We all help each other here.
I scratch your back,
you scratch mine.
That's how we survive.
No need for money.
It's barter.
Good job the tables
are screwed to the floor.
Let me go, asshole!
I don't get it. Where do I sit?
Pyotr Nikolaevich,
I'm warming up a seat for you.
Shut it!
Here. As promised.
Get lost.
Sit down.
How you doing?
I'm not.
I sent a parcel.
It came back.
I come here. They won't take it.
They tell me to leave.
Cops are pigs.
What are you going to do?
I don't know.
They say you can help me.
Don't trust people.
They're pigs too.
Including you?
Including me.
- So should I go?
- Go.
But where?
You say they didn't accept
your parcel...
I had this kid.
Real good kid. One of my guys.
I let him go to war.
He was eager to fight.
He was restless, bored.
Couldn't stand to see all those fascists.
He had a good heart.
If your motherland is in danger,
you save it.
All that crap.
Sol let him go.
I figured, he's young.
He should have fun.
He was good at technical stuff.
So they stuck him...
...on recycling.
Do you know what that is?
Getting rid of body parts.
Arms, legs, body parts.
It's a mobile crematorium,
near the front.
You need nerves of steel
to do a job like that.
He had them.
And his girlfriend was a firebrand.
She wanted to join him.
But he told her to stay home.
One day, they delivered
a load of remains for recycling.
He started up his fire.
There he was,
tossing chunks of flesh on it.
And he saw a hand that looked familiar.
With a ring on it.
Her ring.
He asked around, among the guys.
It was true.
It was her.
That's how they met again.
Love.
He lost his mind after that,
mad as a hatter.
They were gonna shoot him.
They took pity and sent him back.
He was a good guy.
When I saw you, I thought of him.
- Mishanya!
- Nikolayevich!
You?
Fancy seeing you here!
Guys, Mishanya is back!
Well done, you made it!
- When did you get out?
- Just now.
Come, tell me everything.
Manya, bring us some vodka!
She was a drug addict
and a dealer.
And she got caught.
Somebody reported her, or something.
When they caught her,
she swallowed her stash.
I don't get it.
She ate the drug.
Did she get real high?
Bastards stuck a finger down
her throat to get it out.
She croaked.
They threw the corpse into a swamp.
A drunk told me
they found her in autumn.
Mouth all torn. No pictures.
Just boxed her and buried her.
Assholes!
And the cop who arrested her
disappeared.
But who will avenge
a pile of rotting guts?
The cop must've been killed.
Whose bitch is she?
- Excuse me. Dzerzhinsky Street?
- That way.
Excuse me.
How do I get to Dzerzhinsky Street?
- Where?
- Dzerzhinsky Street.
He was a great man.
He deserved an avenue.
But there are no avenues
in this shit hole.
Go straight down Hegel Street,
then turn right on Marx.
There's a crossing,
with a burnt down house.
Belonged to a mate,
who died in the fire.
Turn left on Lenin,
past the cafeteria,
Lots of empty bottles there.
Then you need to turn,
or take the short cut.
No, you'll get lost.
Go the way I told you.
What house number do you need?
- Going to the agents, right?
- What agents?
Go, go.
You'll find out.
Marx, fucking Marx.
What a great country they fucked up!
Faggots.
Fuck.
What do you want?
- Is this number 11?
- 11,11...
Who are you looking for?
There's a committee here.
Going to the fascists, are you?
That way.
Round the house, up the stairs.
Tell them to fuck off!
We have enough whores round here.
Why are you going there?
The Yanks should pay for our drains,
not feed those pricks.
Go, go...
Go and tell them.
- Have you written that?
- Yes.
Right.
The other policemen...
Is this the office
of human rights activists?
Shouted at her
and verbally abused her,
calling her "an American agent"
and "a traitor".
- "A traitor", have you got that?
- Yes.
And also accusing her of selling
state secrets to foreign states.
New paragraph...
What can we do for you?
My husband is in prison here.
Several days ago,
a parcel was returned to me.
I've come here to inquire,
but nobody speaks to me.
They refer me
to "appropriate authorities".
I don't know what to do.
I see.
Just a moment.
So.
Here you are.
Fill it out, please.
Here's the form.
There's an empty table there.
And there's a pen here somewhere.
Fill it Out.
New paragraph.
New paragraph.
According to the victim...
...the policemen
called the medical workers,
who gave her three injections,
after which she began to feel weak.
The woman was stripped naked...
The woman was stripped naked
and twice underwent
a vaginal examination.
Or how should we put it?
"Vaginal probe".
I know!
They carried out
a search of her vagina!
They searched her vagina?
- I'll google it now.
- OK.
Now.
"Bi-digital exam: two fingers inserted
for this examination."
It really exists.
I see. Vaginal examination.
When the doctor failed to locate
the memory card,
the policemen ordered the victim...
What are you listening to?
Get back to work, Vasya!
The policemen ordered the victim
to sit on a chair.
The policemen held her
by her arms and legs,
While...
while the doctor inserted
into her vagina
a gynaecological mirror
in order to continue the search.
As a result of the above manipulations,
the victim... began to bleed.
Bastards.
In addition,
a rectal examination
was performed on the victim.
OK, that's enough.
Add a heading,
and send it to the mailing list.
- Should I copy them, as well?
- No. Not them.
Let them figure it out.
So what have we got here?
Very good.
Our lawyer...
...will have a look at it
and file an official complaint.
Sign here and date it.
OK. Then we'll see.
- How long does it take?
- I don't know.
I don't know.
Approximately 3 weeks.
Isn't it possible
to find out something now?
Listen, my dear.
Did you hear
what we are dealing with?
I feel very sorry for you,
but don't you see
how many complaints I have!
Don't think that your case is unique.
We're dealing with urgent cases,
like that one,
with vaginal bleeding.
We need to save this woman's life.
Can't you see what's going on here!
There are only two of us here...
Two and a half...
and we are raided every week.
Every week!
Look at the windows!
We had to board them up
to stop them breaking the glass.
We are defending their rights
and they...
...they paint swastikas on our walls.
They break the windows!
My heart goes out to them.
And in return they pour water
on our front steps in winter,
so that we can't get out.
We're like prisoners here!
What kind of people are they?
My grandson.
They beat him up...
...they broke his arm.
Bastards.
Excuse me. Is there an address?
How are we supposed to contact you?
Did you write down
your phone number?
Oh, yes.
I see it.
OK then.
You know what?
Here's our address.
I don't know who'll be around,
where or when.
But we're still here for now.
So nobody else can help me?
God Almighty.
Anything is possible.
Anything.
Here, take this.
Call us.
Madam.
Wait.
I'll see you out.
All messed up.
Shoo!
See, they shoo us away.
They've always despised us.
And that's not the worst of it.
Shoo!
At times I think that they forgot
to put us inside the prison,
simply by mistake.
Maybe they ran out of barbed wire.
There's something else
I need to tell you.
All the information,
which we receive,
all ends up
with the special services.
Do you understand me?
The person who files a complaint
could face some difficulties.
I had to tell you that.
So let me know
if you change your mind.
- What should I do?
- I don't know.
It's your decision.
Think it over.
You're going to the train station?
It's over there, turn right
as you exit the courtyard.
Walk to the crossroads and turn left.
Then, go straight to the train station.
You're going there now?
Well, OK.
- You're not asleep?
- No.
Don't sleep.
You shouldn't sleep here.
I fell asleep once and got lost.
You shouldn't sleep in train stations.
Before you know it,
you'll be carried off and left for lost.
So you're not asleep?
No, I'm not asleep.
That's good.
You shouldn't sleep.
What's in your bag?
Some things. Why?
I had a bag once,
but I don't remember what I had in it.
Have you seen my sister here,
by any chance?
She looks exactly like me, exactly.
Only I wear a knit hat,
and she has a scarf.
- I haven't seen her.
- What a shame.
We used to live together.
Her husband passed away,
and mine passed away.
So we decided
to live together again.
Like when we were children.
And then some people came
and kicked us out onto the street.
Our husbands passed away.
Nobody to protect us.
So we took to the streets.
But then she got lost.
Would you like some bread?
No, thank you.
Then I'll go and look for her.
And don't fall asleep
or you'll be carried off.
Let's go.
I've arranged everything.
Go where?
Let's go. Let's go.
I've arranged everything.
You'll see.
Is it her?
Yes, it is.
Your passport, please.
Could you come closer?
Please, madam,
help yourself to the furs.
Come on, don't make a fuss.
Let's go!
You rode on a troika with sleigh bells
And in the distance flickered lights
If only I could follow you now, falcons
And dispel the grief that fills my heart!
By the long road, in the moonlight
And with this song that rings so far away
And with this ancient, seven-stringer
That has tormented me so by night
Now, living with no joy, with no sorrow
I recall the years gone by
And your silver hands
Flying off forever in the troika...
By the long road, in the moonlight
And with this song that rings so far away
And with this ancient, seven-stringer
That has tormented me so by night
As time goes by, the sorrow grows
It's so hard to forget our past
Somehow, one day, my dear
You'll take me to the graveyard
By the long road, in the moonlight
And with this song that rings so far away
And with this ancient, seven-stringer
That has tormented me so by night
Which one is she?
You stay here, and you follow me.
MAIL
It's Yasha.
He's always on duty.
Take off your coat.
Do you have another dress?
Always hard to know
what could be the right outfit.
Yes, I do.
Get changed.
Right here?
Where else?
And hurry.
It's only us here.
Hurry.
Hurry, faster.
Please, proceed.
An embarrassing memory.
Once I sang Gryaznov in The Tsar's Bride.
It was a very serious role,
but suddenly the audience began to stir.
At first, it was dull.
Naturally, it's an opera.
The place is full of soldiers
with their smell of boot polish.
Suddenly, they begin to laugh.
What? Has my beard come unstuck?
Then I felt a laser beam
shining in my eyes.
And I got it!
While I was singing,
somebody was aiming a laser beam
straight at my mouth.
The audience was waiting to see,
would I get hit or not get hit?
So I turned and showed them my ass
till the end of the opera.
O, innocent martyr, forgive me
Forgive me for each tear I caused you
For each cry of yours
And for every breath of yours, Martha
I will make sure to pay in full
Before Tsar Ivan I'll kneel
To beg for such tortures
The sinners in hell don't know
Farewell!
Farewell!
Now it's your turn, please.
Dear comrades.
Dearly beloved.
I'm nervous.
I don't even know where to start.
No one in our family
has ever gone to prison.
So when our grandson
is old enough,
God willing,
he'll do the family this honour.
And in my old age,
I've been blessed
with a chance to see the world
and meet good people.
Thank you, my clears.
I love you with all my heart,
and I'll be praying for you.
I wish you all the best!
Please.
On behalf of the post office
number 2688,
I would like to thank you
for your trust.
I would also like to assure you
that we,
workers of the Russian Post,
aspire to provide service
of the highest quality and excellence.
Here are a few figures:
In 2016 we processed...
Please.
As a bus passenger,
I have a statement.
I don't know this woman well.
I did not know
that her husband was in prison.
We all travel but we don't know
our fellow passengers.
We have to pay more attention
to each other.
This is what I wanted to say.
Now it's your turn, please.
My father is a war veteran.
I dreamed of becoming a policeman
since I was a child.
I realised my dream through
studying at a police school
and then serving at my post.
Even though we live in peace,
we must always be vigilant.
We all know that enemies
are in our midst.
For example, at my post of duty,
a hot spot, a railway station,
thousands of people walk past me
every day.
My duty is to defend
law-abiding citizens,
to catch criminals and terrorists,
who seek to damage our country
and do evil things to our Motherland.
I stopped this citizen on suspicion
of a crime, for no reason.
She was subjected to a random check,
and she submitted to it.
You, please.
I appeal to you on behalf
of the women of Russia,
wives, mothers, girlfriends, sisters,
daughters, grandmothers
and granddaughters.
Our lot has always been hard,
but honourable.
We supported our men
during times of hardship and suffering.
We fought by their side,
took care of them,
looked after them,
and we kept them warm with
our love and our compassion.
To be a woman in Russia
is to be more than simply a woman!
For centuries an ordinary Russian woman
could tame a wild horse
and break into a burning wooden hut.
Though today our men have
swapped their horses for SUVs,
and their huts for townhouses,
still, just like in the times
of the writer Nekrasov,
it is we Russian women,
who have to carry the burden
of living in this country
and saving our men,
and leading them along the road
of fighting for world peace!
Please.
Pyotr Nikolayevich!
We have two powers,
one in uniform, one without.
We are always there.
You can't do a thing without us.
This is what I'm trying to say.
Guys...
...don't beat each other up.
Please, it's your turn.
There lived a cockroach in the world.
Such was his condition,
In a glass he chanced to fall
Full of fly-perdition.
Meaning the way flies get trapped
inside a glass in summer,
where they fight each other.
Any idiot will get that.
The roach squeezed against the flies,
they woke up and did curse,
"Beseeched Jove with their angry cries
the glass is full to burst!
"In the middle of the din
came along Nikifor,
"A fine old man, and looking in..."
...I haven't quite finished.
But I'll tell it in my own words!
Nikifor takes the glass,
and despite their cries, empties it.
Flies, beetles and all,
fall into the trough.
Which ought to have been done
long ago.
But take note, comrades.
The cockroach doesn't complain.
That's the answer to your
question, why?
The cockroach does not complain.
As for Nikifor he represents nature.
Please.
I love my work very much.
I defend human rights
inside a prison.
And not just of one human,
but of many different humans,
with very interesting destinies.
It inspires me greatly.
I'm happy that in our prison
I've been entrusted
with such an honourable task
as fighting against human rights.
The more I toil in this field,
the more I realise
that we are not cockroaches,
as the previous comrade put it.
We are the agents of our great...
...multi-ethnic, long-suffering
victorious nation!
Each person in our prison
is worth their weight in gold.
"Mankind, how proud that sounds!"
said Gorky.
And I, just like a galley slave...
...I will...
...to my final breath,
toil for the good of our peoples.
It fills me with happiness,
such happiness,
that my descendants and I,
had the good fortune to be born,
to live, to die and to be buried
in the bowels of our dear,
our beloved,
Russian Federation!
Thank you.
All right, I'd like to conclude
this discussion.
Although, what discussion could there be
amongst ordinary people?
One comes across
people like us every day,
in every corner of our great country.
And each of these people is human,
and each of these people
is right in his own way.
And we should respect and cherish this.
Because each of these people
is a part of our nation's legacy,
of our national spiritual heritage,
our national wealth.
Am I right, comrades?
Yes! That's right!
The country's treasures
are not limited to its soil,
reserves and pantries, no.
Our main treasure
is the people.
The people.
The most valuable thing we have.
Just like we, who are gathered here,
ordinary labourers, heroes.
This must be valued,
respected, and preserved.
People are thoughtless
creatures,
they know not what they do,
and so they transgress the law.
But we won't allow them.
We'll explain,
we'll stop them.
And if someone won't hear us,
we'll force them to.
We won't allow it!
They'll be caught, sentenced,
punished, and released!
Isn't that right, comrades?
Right!
My Motherland.
My Motherland has appointed me
Prison Warden.
I came here as a young man
and I will stay here till the end,
no matter what happens,
doing any job.
Sure, I rose to this great
position gradually,
but today,
from where I stand today,
I say to you,
every one of you,
I can't.
I can't manage such a great
establishment alone.
I need your help,
and support.
I need your support,
your support,
the support of the masses.
And to get that support,
we have to be in one harness,
in one team.
We must pull together.
That's why I have to know
everything about you.
I have to understand everybody,
value and love them.
I hope you get my point.
We got it!
Dear friends,
today we are celebrating
a great day.
A day of unity for the prison
and the people.
And this has become
a fine tradition now.
To mark this clay with displays
of goodwill and compassion.
Towards whom?
Who deserves compassion
more than others?
Those who are craving it.
Our inmates.
Therefore, this will confirm,
in accordance
with the present document,
the applicant inquiring
about parcel number K2-7429,
has been granted a meeting
with her husband,
number 75698437,
currently serving a sentence
at the penitentiary
establishment number 786543,
for the purpose
of supplying him with food
as well as essential items.
And also for the purpose
of private communication
at a specially equipped facility.
Hurrah, comrades!
Hurrah!
Hurrah!
Hurrah!
You may sit down
and start eating.
Help yourselves to some food.
Enjoy.
Let's go.
I've arranged everything.
Go where?
Let's go.
I've arranged everything.
You'll see.