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A Gnome Named Gnorm (1990)
(GROANING)
Hi. Hi. MAN: I don't know. (PHONE RINGING) Hey, Budd, you seen Casey? Casey Gallagher? Oh, yeah, he was in last week. Damn it. Where the hell is Casey? Um... I just saw him. That phone call is coming in at eight o'clock. If Gallagher's not in my office in five minutes, I told Kaminsky the job is his. Yes, sir. You've seen Casey? Not today. Sam, baby, lose your partner again? Got to hand it to Gallagher. Sure knows how to goof up. Mmm. Right, Kaminsky, while you on the other hand vigilantly guard the vending machines. Ah, don't worry, Casey'll show up. He wouldn't miss his big chance to be a star tonight. If he shows, I say he blows it. I fact, I got 20 bucks says he blows it. Any takers? Samantha, come on. I'm giving two-to-one. Three-to-one. Four-to-one. Sucker. (KNOCKING ON DOOR) Uh, Captain, it's been five minutes. I'm going to go get ready. Kaminsky! Kaminsky, I've been looking all over for you. Got my Zagnut bar. Very nice. Hey, where's the coffee I asked for, pal, huh? Casey, I want to see you alone. I'll be right there, Chief. Just give me one minute, I'll just... Where the hell you been? I've been covering for you for half an hour. Sorry, Sam. I was down in lock-up with Ramon. Ramon the pimp? Ramon, my fashion consultant. How do you get off showing up at the last minute, letting me of all people do all the prep work? God, where did you get this tie? Isn't it great? I got it from Ramon. Let me tell you something. No cop on earth would wear a tie like this. That's why it's perfect for undercover. Your gun? No, I'm just happy to see you. No. Where is your gun? Look, I thought about it, and I thought it was a very bad idea. Seriously. I knew it. It's not even loaded. You know I don't like guns. Casey, this isn't a game. You gotta stop playing cop and start being one. Hey, who pulled off the biggest operation in the department this year, pal, huh? And I never even drew my gun, much less fired it. What can I say? I just don't want to see you get hurt. I'll lose 50 bucks. Besides, what if they frisk me? I'll have you right there behind me, .38 in tow, backing me up. Right, me and Kaminsky. Give me the gun. (KNOCKING ON DOOR) You want to see me? Come in. Listen, Casey. A lot of people are giving me flak about entrusting this case to the jerk who hasn't made detective yet. Now, I don't want you to worry about things, okay, 'cause it's all gonna go fine. Then after work tonight, I'll go out with the guys and eat donuts. Holy macaroni! See, that's exactly the kind of attitude I'm talking about. I ought to stick you right behind a desk for about six months so you can learn proper police procedure. I'm sorry. But tonight... Well, I need somebody who can think on his feet. This Zadar is a little too unpredictable. Besides, nobody would ever mistake you for a cop. I'm impressed, Ferril. (SIGHS) Well, you see, Mr. Zadar, that it was not an easy task to accomplish because, you see, the settings are very, very old. Fine. Yes. And there's a very high degree of difficulty... I want you to handle the delivery. It's an extra 10 grand. Certainly, Mr. Zadar. Certainly. Believe me, that will be just fine. Now, if you will be kind enough to give us some privacy for a moment. Sure. Reggie, set it up. (PHONE RINGING) Get the door. Let me get the door. Get the phone. Get the phone. I'll get the phone. All right, talk to me. (WHISPERING) The abandoned zoo. The abandoned zoo. Midnight. REGGIE: Midnight. The children's playground. The children's playground. Have a nice day. And have a nice day. Children's playground, the old zoo. Let's go. Let's go, huh? And don't do that. Don't do that. Hold this. All right, look, Mr. Potato Head is with you tonight and I don't care what he says, you make sure he wears his hat, all right? Yeah. (GRUNTING) Okay, I'm at point zero right now. Still no sign of our man. (GRUNTS) (CLEARING THROAT) I'd like to take this opportunity to serenade a couple of young lovebirds out there tonight. on their very first date. We have Derek Kaminsky and Sam Kennedy. Let's hear it for them, folks, Derek and Sam on their very first date tonight. Derek and Sam. Strangers in the night Exchanging diamonds Oh, lovers at first sight You don't send a rookie out to do a man's job. You qualify? (CASEY HUMMING) CASEY: Don't worry, guys. Just a walk in the park. Just a walk in the park. (GNORM GASPS) Something in your nose Was so inviting La da da da da We'll be making love The whole night through La da da da da, la da da da da (GRUNTS) What was that? Probably found the seesaw. I don't believe this. What is he doing? He's supposed to keep talking, come on. Two more minutes and I'm going in. Hello! Is that anyone? Hey. What the hell's going on? Hey, wait, wait, I got to count the money. You can't take the jewels till I count the money. SAM: Great, Casey, just a walk in the park, right? KAMINSKY: Nice going, Gallagher. Bucking for a promotion? All right, does this qualify as blowing it? Definitely blowing it. Am I 50 bucks richer? Fifty bucks richer. Oh! Let's get out of here, Kaminsky. Come on. Jesus Christ, Gallagher. Look, Stan, I know I screwed up, but listen. I don't want you to worry. I know I can fix this. Fix it? Yes. Yeah, okay, things like this happen sometimes, kid. Go home and put some ice on that head. I'll get somebody to give you a ride. No, no, listen, Chief. I don't need a ride, all right? I just want to walk this off. You know, I got a lot of work to do. Not around here, you don't. Look, kid, after tonight, I'm gonna have to make some changes. Changes? What are you talking about here, Stan? Listen, you're overreacting here, okay? Listen, I said I'd fix it. I'll nail Zadar, I'll get the money back. I promise. Go home, Casey! Now. (PANTING) (GASPS) (ENGINE STARTING) (RUSTLING) (RUSTLING CONTINUES) All right, listen up. I'm in no mood for this. Let me just warn you. I'm an officer of the law and I'm a really good shot. Real good. (EXHALES) Nothing. (GRUNTS) (GNORM GROWLING) (CASEY GRUNTS) I'm not gonna hurt you. Don't be scared. (SNARLS) Okay good, you're not scared. So... What were you doing in my car? What are you? (SNARLING) Going after this? What's this? (SNARLING) So this is what you're after. (GASPING) (PHONE RINGING) Relax, I'm not gonna hurt you. SAM: Hello. Sam. Casey. God, what time is it? Quarter to four in the morning. Listen, you gotta come over to my place right away. Casey, we've been through this before. There's something here I gotta show you. It's this thing... This little hairy thing. I don't know what to do with it. I'm sure you'll think of something, Casey. Good night. (HUMMING) (YAWNING) (YAWNING LOUDLY) (SNORING) (PHONE RINGING) Casey Gallagher. I'm wide awake. I'm going to have to call you right back. (GNORM GROWLING) You're choking me. (GROANS) (GROANS) Hey, wait a second. Hold it. There's no sense knocking yourself out, okay? You're not dealing with an amateur here, pal. (SNARLING) No. What was that? You spoke. No eat lumen. What's the deal with this thing? Talk or I'm gonna eat it. No eat lumen. You have the right to remain silent. (PHONE RINGING) What? Sam? What do you want? Listen, don't hang up on me, okay? I got a witness. This guy was definitely at the park. He's now at my place. That's great, Casey. Now listen, you don't understand. He can talk. So bring him in the morning. We'll get a statement. Good night, Casey. No, Sam, Sam... Wait, don't hang up on me, please. It's not that simple, okay? He's a little person. So? No, no, you don't understand. He's littler than a little person. He's unusual, okay? He's got big ears that are kind of pointy. He dresses funny. Kind of funny. Funny? What, funny lederhosen and Groucho glasses? What? No, uh... Sort of... Barky. Bark. He looks like... He looks like an elf. An elf? Yeah, an elf. (GROWLS) No, it's not what I mean. He's not an... Look, he's just got big ears and he's a little guy. He's a little guy with big ears. Look, Casey, just bring him in the morning. Look, don't hang up on me. You hung up on me. You hung up on me first. Look, just trust me, okay. This guy was there. I think he can help us. Look, I wanna bring him to the park. And I want to get him to tell us what he saw. And I want you to be there when he does, okay? Sam? Listen, if you try and think this through, I'm dead, okay? 'Cause I know it sounds really strange. So for once in your life don't think. Just be there, okay? (GNORM GROANING) Hold your horses. Take it easy. Easy. Bag, cage... Shava. (GASPING) Up-world. Sun, where? Where is sun? Sun? Joe, Joe, come... Joe! (BARKING) No, Joe, Joe, come back here. MAN: What's that? Now come here. Come here. Very good dog you got there. Very nice. They should outlaw those things. Fox giant. Look, it was just some dumb dog. Now come on out, tough guy, he's gone. He's gone. Now come on out. Give me lumen. Look, you want it, you tell me what happened here last night. Kaboom. Kaboom, right, the explosion. So you did see it. Now, what did you see? Kaboom. Kaboom, right. But someone made the kaboom. Now, who was it? Was it Zadar? Up-worlder. Up-worlder. Is that a name? Giant. A giant. Giant, no eyes, scream kaboom. Giant? Mmm-hmm. No eyes? Mmm-hmm. Scream? Mmm-hmm. Who screamed? (GROANS) Was it the guy who blew up? Give me lumen. CASEY: Blind, screaming giant. Blind, screaming giant. Blind, screaming giant. Sam? Yeah, I'm coming. Come here. Good, good, good. Sam, very good, all right, in the bushes. Excuse me? He's in the bushes, the witness, he's in the bushes. What are you talking about? Have you gone completely nuts? All right, all right, look, I warned you, he's very, very small. Go ahead, real small. This is ridiculous. There's nobody in there. And extremely fast. He's right behind you. Turn around, he's right behind you. Turn around. Casey... He's very fast, very small and he's right behind you. Turn around, he's right behind you. Stand still. Look, I don't know what the hell kind of game you're trying to play here, but I'm much too tired for this. Call me when you get your act together. Pooka, nice roundie... Shut up! Okay? Shut up. Nice popos. Shut up! You say talk. No, I want you to listen. Listen, okay? You see this stone right here? You see this stone? Look, this blind, screaming giant is a killer. He is a killer. And I need to nail him. And unless you help me track him down, you're never gonna see this again. You understand me? Get it? Shava! Shava? What's shava? Okay, so this giant here, what are we talking about, six, seven, eight feet? What is it? Giant. Wait, that's him? (TIRES SCREECHING) Giant, no eyes. Giant, no eyes. CASEY: What? Giant, no brain. Oh, I'm a giant? Yeah. Okay, if I'm a giant, what does that make you? Good size. Good size? A good size pain in my... (SCOFFS) Give me lumen. Wait a second. Wait a second. Eyes. No eyes. Eyes. Hmm. No eyes. So, let me get this straight. The perpetrator was a guy wearing sunglasses? Right. Average size, but not good size, and prone to screaming. Right. This is great. This is really great. (GRUNTING) (GROANING) Hello. Somebody gets blown to bits, that seems perfectly reasonable to me. But then all those cops show up and I say to myself, "This little creep, he must be a cop." That makes me feel tense. That's got to be bad for your blood pressure. (YELLS) (GROANS) Now, hold on. Just look at this tie. This look like a cop's tie? What cop would wear a tie like this? Do I look like a cop? What is this? (GROWLING) Ah! Let go! Lumen, lumen. Help! (YELLING) Lumen. You think you can take it easy? Please. Move it, slug slime. He's escaping. He's getting away. Why? 'Cause I'm chained to an elf. Not elf, not elf. You're an elf. You're a worthless elf, okay? You bite people. You probably have rabies. Let me go. Fine! Ciao, Adios, okay? I'll see you. You bring lumen back. Right, risk my life for your little rock. What are you, crazy? You lose lumen. Yeah, you're right. I lost your little glow-in-the-dark rock, so what? You think I'm going to die for it? My people die. Your people, what people? No people. What people? Not tell. Look, if you don't tell me, how am I going to help you? You want it back? You need me. I need your co-operation. You help find lumen? Wait, first things first. The guy you just sunk your teeth into, was he the guy from the park? The guy who made the explosion, the kaboom? No scream. I am not screaming. No scream. Oh, the guy in the park screamed? We go. What about the guy who was just here though. Could he be the one? We go. We're not going anywhere. Until we get things straight here, okay? Now, was this the guy who made the explosion, the kaboom? Yes! Kaboom! Bang! Whammo! CASEY: This is called a stakeout. We are looking for a guy here. GNORM: Ah... His name's Reggie Smalls. He comes here every day. He's the one who set up the deal with Zadar and if we're lucky, he should lead us to our man. GNORM: Ah! Come on, concentrate now. This is a stakeout. Ah! (WHISTLING) Giant popos. Take it easy, will you? You gotta concentrate here. This is a stakeout... Look that's him. Okay, can you see him? That's him. Okay, now we sit, we watch and we wait. And when he leaves, we follow him. Stakeout. By the way, that disguise, not working. Your idea. STAN: Yeah. Look here, Stan, there is no way I am teaming up with this... Outstanding role model for police officers everywhere? I mean, come on, it's taken me a year to get Gallagher whipped into shape. That's into shape? Look, I know that Casey is a little bit off-center. But what happened last night, that could have happened to any one of us. That guy's a flake. Hold it. Look, I like Gallagher. You know that. But he just couldn't cut it. It's that simple. Kaminsky is your partner now. And I don't care if you like each other or not. Stan, just hear me out. Won't you at least let Casey and me clear up this Zadar deal? I mean, he's already got some leads. What kind of leads? Well, he claims that he's got a witness. Someone who can identify the killer. Who? Where is he? Well, I don't exactly know. Um... He said he's a little guy. Damn it, I took him off this case. Get Gallagher in here right away. I can't have some loose cannon rolling around, interfering with this investigation. Where's Gallagher now? Ah! Shoot! Nice job. Beautiful. Wait a second, you eat cardboard? You dress in bark and stuff. It's a little strange. Little strange. Okay, you said something before about your people. Now, what were you talking about here? Just what are you? Not tell. Oh, not tell, huh? You, not tell. Oh, me not tell. You mean like keep a secret? Spit. Spit on word. (HORKING) It's very attractive. Spit. Look, hygienically this is a bad idea, I gotta tell you that. (GROANS) All right, it's a deal. Okay. You want a loogie? 'Cause I'll give it to you. Loogie. (SNORTS) (SPITS) Puny spitter. Okay, I spit. Now you spit it out. What's the deal with this rock? Lumen make our world bright. Our food grow. Is it like the sun? Lumen see up-world sun, grow bright again. Each 10 of your years. You bring the lumen to the sun, you expose it to the sun and it recharges itself? Yes, now it's time. If lumen die, my people die. Your people, your world. You mentioned this before. What are you talking about here? What are you? Gnome. A gnome? Can you grant wishes, gnome? No, can you? Wise ass, huh? All right, so you're a gnome. What's your name, gnome? Gnorm. Gnorm. Right, I'm on a stakeout with a gnome named Gnorm. Yup. Stakeout. First of all, if you were a gnome, you would know that the "G" in gnome is silent. It's gnome, okay? No, it's gnot. Don't push it with me. Gnorm warrior. Yeah, you're a warrior. Just remember who's calling the shots here, okay, pal? (YAWNING) No, I am not falling for that routine again, okay? All my friends know the low rider Wow, look at that! Don't stare. (YELLS) Low rider drives a little slower Low rider is a real goer Wow! Easy, bro. Good to see you, Reg. That's a gun. Stakeout, stakeout. No, Gnorm, that's a gun. Guns kill. Stakeout. Stakeout. Why didn't you say so? Get in. CASEY: Now I'm gonna get in his face. MAN: Anything else today, Mr. Reg? Yes, one leg of lamb and four pounds of ribs, not the baby backs. Chong! Chong, is that you? Chong, I missed you in Vegas last week. Baby, what happened to you? Listen, I ran into Ching, he said you were with Chang. I had no idea what to think. Reggie. Reg, we have to talk now. You're a cop? Right. Beat it. And you're the sucker who made a deal with a cop. Now, look, I don't think Zadar's is going to take too kindly to that, Reg. Get lost, cop. Hey, Reg, listen. We had a deal. Deal went sour. Somebody got blown up. Now, we'd like to pin it on Zadar. But if we can't, we're going to pin it on you. Unless, of course, you want to lead us to your boss. (GRUNTING) I thought I told you to get lost. Maybe you don't hear right. Maybe you'll hear better after I break both of your legs. (IN HIGH PITCHED VOICE) Oh, I can hear. I can... Look, cop, I don't like being leaned on. You understand? And I don't like being harassed. And most of all, I don't like cops. (MUNCHING) Hey, is that your kid? Not my kid, no. Not my kid. (REGGIE COOING) I like kids. Oh, yeah? Hey, what kind of a father are you anyway? Oh, I am nobody's... Bringing a kid to an environment like this. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! You know kids are impressionable. You don't see very well, do you? (IN NORMAL VOICE) Reg, can we talk about this? Reg! Chong! Where's Chong? Get Chong. Somebody call Chong. Chong! All right, cop. Chong. Chong. (LAUGHS) Chong! Chong! What the... Reg. Hey. (YELLING) Chicken necks! Chicken necks. Gnorm. Gnorm. Gnorm. Reg. Reg. WOMAN: Ivar Theater. Get me Zadar. (COOING) (WHISTLING) Gnorm, Gnorm. Gnorm. ZADAR: Hello? Yeah, it's Reggie, listen. The creep is a cop. Kill him. No problem. I already got him on ice. I was joking, joke. That's a gun. Reggie. Reg. (SCREAMING) Reggie. Reg. I am going to get you... Sucker! GNORM: Bye. One more. Good, let's see what we get here. Stop. The Ivar Theater? Yeah, what's your address? Okay, thank you, thanks. How did you do that anyway? Got in his face. Listen, I owe you one, all right? I really appreciate this. Now listen, you stay put. I'll handle this one, all right? (SCOFFS) Like last time? Disguise. Lumen. (GROWLS) Easy. Freeze! GNORM: Lumen. Get back, Gnorm, he has a gun. Gun shava. Gnorm, move. Freeze. I said freeze. He has gun. Yeah, and his is loaded. He has the lumen too. Let's go. Gnorm, move! Move! (TIRES SCREECHING) MAN: Whoa! LAPD. Get out of your car. You got to be kidding me. This is my car... LAPD. Get out of your... Get out of your car. Damn fool, what the hell do you think you're doing? Gimme my car. Damn fool! LAPD. Oh. What the hell. GNORM: Whoa! What's he rushing for? We must be running late. (TIRES SCREECHING) GNORM: Woah! (WHIMPERS) Hey, relax, will you? (YELLING) Relax! Will you relax? Shava! Why dead man in box? I don't know, it's just the way we do it here, okay? Up-world crazy. (TIRES SQUEALING) Huh? DISPATCHER: Hit and run. Westbound Wilshire at Hingham. Incident 2-5-3-5. Sounds pretty close, let's check it out. Just relax! Hey, hey! Look out! Help me, help me. Quick, I took a course. I think we can save him. Well, don't just stand there. Help me. (SPITS) (SHUDDERS) (POLICE SIREN WAILING) Hold it right there. I said hold it, Gallagher! Slug slime. (YELLS) (GROANING) (JACKHAMMER RATTLING) (GROANING) Hey, you really knocked them dead this time, Gallagher. (LAUGHING) Look, I know how this sounds, okay? I know how it sounds. Really? Hey, look. Let's say I buy this, all right? Just tell me who this little witness is and what he was doing in the park last night. That I can't tell you. You can't? Listen, I can. But I can't. I promised I wouldn't. You're a police officer, Casey. What's gotten into you? I made an oath of silence. I spit on my word. You spit? Spit. Spit. You've totally lost it. Who do you think you are? Listen, I almost had him, Stan. What is it with you, Casey? I told you loud and clear to stay away from this thing. What's this Sam was telling me about a witness? Oh, I thought I had a witness, it was a dead-end. You're on suspension. Oh, Stan, come on, I am close on this. You're not close. You're on suspension. Stan. Please. Don't make this any harder than it already is, huh? Hey, Gnorm, you there? GNORM: No. I thought you ditched me. Listen, come on out. They're gone. No. No? All right, suit yourself. Listen, I'm clean out of ideas. Zadar's long gone with your stone, my job. Forget about it, we blew it. You blew. I blew it? What do you mean I blew it? I did not blow it. You're no major asset in this crisis yourself, okay, pal? (SNIFFLING) Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. What happened to the warrior here? Come on now. Not warrior, scared. Stomach like fireflies. Look, that's not surprising, buddy. Look, the up-world's a mean place, even for a warrior. Gnorm not warrior. Just tunneler. Hey, that's fine. No, that's cool. Be a tunneler. Besides, I am the one that lost the stone. I'm the one who lost the lumen. Lumen not lost. Not lost? Gnorm follow giant. I can't believe I'm doing this. Thanks. I'm sorry, Stan. I'm sorry, Stan. I'm sorry, Stan. Well, after I lose this job, there's always law school. Let's be real, I'd be doing sanitation. Let's be really real, I'll be shaking fries at Wendy's. (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) GNORM: Wow. Come on. We just came up a few floors, come on. (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) (DOORS CLOSING) Magic box. Right, step aside. Hi. (GROWLING) How nice to see you again. Yeah, charmed. You want me to freeze, I suppose. That would be nice. Now I want to hear you scream. Loud blade you got there. Drop the knife or the little guy's going to chew your face off, okay? (GROWLS) Get the runt freak away from me. Scream! Scream. (SCREAMS FEEBLY) Again, louder. Louder. (SCREAMING LOUDLY) Gnorm, that's it. Is that the scream you heard in the park last night? Give me lumen. What does it want? He wants his stone back. I want my stones back, too. Listen. Listen... If this is some kind of trade you're talking, you know, I told you, I can be very reasonable. Look, I don't have your stones, who do you think you're kidding? He saw you blow Ferril up last night. You're insane. If I had the stuff, why the hell was I searching your place? Look, that's easy, you were searching for... You obviously tried to... Uh-huh. Gnorm, you said this was the guy in the park last night. What's going on? I lied. You what? Don't even think about it! I am trying to get what he wants. GNORM: Lumen... (GASPS) Now, one more step and I toss it. (GROWLING) Gnorm! (CHOKING) Put him down or I'll shoot. Wrong. Lose the gun or the runt gets intimate with the pavement. (WHISTLING) CASEY: Look, let's talk this over. Drop it. I don't know where your cash is or where the jewels are either. If you don't know, then someone else out there does. Drop it. Big joke. Bye now. (GNORM YELLING) (GUN FIRES) Damn. Take lumen. Shut up, I can get you. Lumen. DISPATCHER: All units, 415, man with a gun. Broadway and Lincoln. Shots fired... That's a couple of blocks from where we just left Gallagher. Lumen dying, need sun. Gnorm listen, the sun's still up. Take the lumen and get out of here. (POLICE SIREN WAILING) Up-world crazy. Need friend. No, listen to me, Gnorm. You still got a chance if you go by yourself. You're small, you can slip by. I can't help you anymore. I'm too big and I'm a jinx. Up-worlders are mean, cold-blooded people, Gnorm. They can justify anything. If they catch you, they'll put you in a cage like a lab rat. They'll peel back your skin just to see what makes you tick. Skin tough, like root. Doesn't matter, if they have even an inkling that there's more of you to be found, some underground race that's minding their own business, they won't quit until they find them all. You don't understand, they'll ruin it, they'll build condos. That's just the way we are. We can't leave things alone, Gnorm. Listen, go. I'll stall them, go. Hmm. (GROWLS ANGRILY) OFFICER ON BULLHORN: This is the police, the building is surrounded. Come out, hands up. Don't shoot. I'm a police officer, don't shoot. Uh-oh! (THUDDING) (GNORM GROANING) Gallagher's gun, sir. I suppose I should be thankful you didn't get yourself killed. What do you want to do with him, Captain? Book him for murder. What? Ah, thank you, sir! What? Let's go, buddy. Come on. Stan, what are you doing? You know Casey. We have a witness who swears he saw Casey aim his gun at Zadar just before he got killed. It doesn't make sense. I mean, Casey wouldn't just shoot somebody. Half the time he doesn't even load his gun. Fine, fine, Sam. Here's Gallagher's gun. Take it down to Ballistics and check it out yourself. I'm really starting to enjoy this, Gallagher. What are you going to do next? Take hostages at the airport? Blow up Beverly Hills? What the hell's happened to you? Take the gun to Ballistics, you'll believe it when it's in black and white. Keep fighting, Gallagher. Make me break your arm. Please? For Christ's sake, Kaminsky, take it easy. Friend safe. What do we do with the freak, sir? It's an accessory, book it. Book it, sir? I want to keep it around. Book it. Do I get it a lawyer, sir? What the hell for? It's a freak. Your pooka help? What's a pooka? Pooka with popos. Pooka Sam, nice roundie... Look, she's no pooka, she's just my partner. She was my partner. Hot ticket. She does have nice popos. Hmm! Like Rena. Like Rena? Who's Rena? Pretty, big eyes, spit good. Spits good, huh? Rena why Gnorm steal lumen. Steal... Steal lumen. Oops! What happened to, "If the lumen dies, my people dies"? What happened to all that? Warriors take lumen to up-world. Gnorm not warrior. Just tunneler. Pookas like warriors. So let me get this straight. Whoever takes the lumen to the up-world becomes a big gnome hero, right? Now, you're just some grubby pissant tunneler, right? So you stole the stone to become a hotshot. Am I getting this right? Rena like warrior. Rena likes warriors. I am sitting here handcuffed in a paddy wagon about to be charged with first degree murder, Gnorm, because you had to go doom an entire race for an elf chick named Rena? Not elf! Gnome! Gnome, elf. What's the difference if they're all going to be dead? This is basic stuff, Gnorm. I'm a cop. (LAUGHS) What am I doing in a paddy wagon? What is that guy? Come on, write it up. (LAUGHING) (DOOR BUZZING) I said hey What you lookin' at Well? I can't seem to get him. Stand still. I said stand still. (GROWLING) Never mind. Never mind. Hey, relax, freak. I said hey What you lookin' at (GRUNTING) What you lookin' at (GROANS) I'll just get another needle, it's not a problem there. (GROWLING) Now, just... Okay, look, this won't hurt you. At all. Well, we can do this stuff later. Um, okay, look at me. Here we go. Say... Say "Ahh." Ahh... Open... Here we go, over here. Here we go, come on guy. Over here, here we go. Ahh... Oh... Ahh... Hmm. Ah... Yeah, almost... We can get that later. We can get that much later. Let's look and see what we have inside your ears. Yeah. Here we go, guy. Whoa! Forget that, strip him. Strip him? Strip him. Strip him... Take his stuff off. Uh, you wanna handle this one? (KNOCKING AT DOOR) Excuse me, I was just looking for Stan. I said hey Casey. I'm stumped. I don't know what to do with you. I mean, what is going on here? Just give me something to go on. Look, I'm not saying anything until you let him go. So forget about it. Okay, look, let's not butt heads. Just give me a few simple answers so that I can let him go. All right, I mean, who is he? What is he? And what's he got to do with this whole Zadar thing? No, he has no connection with Zadar. Don't be an ass, Stan, let him go. Don't talk to me that way, boy. You talk to your friends that way, but not to me. You're up for murder, Gallagher, and I'll let them toast you. I'll put you away for life and throw away the key. So don't you ever talk to me that way again because I don't have to listen to this. Now was this thing a witness or not? No! Damn it, no! That does it, boy. I'm switching you off. (HEARING AID WHINING) (GASPS) Kaminsky! Lock him up. My pleasure, sir. Scream. Come on. Relax, Gallagher. You're going to make a lot of nice new buddies in the joint. Wait, it was Stan's hearing aid. That's the scream. It's Stan. Listen, Kaminsky, Derek, you got to help me. Right, Gallagher. Listen, Derek, no more games, no more bullshit. You gotta help me. You gotta help me spring that little guy. Stan's going to kill him. You serious? He's going to kill him. At least let me talk to Sam. Please take me to see Sam. Please. You're more full of shit than I thought you were. Personally, I hope they fry you and the little runt. And I'll be first in line to pull the switch. Let's go, hotshot. (GRUNTS) Gallagher! Stop him! He's getting away! So you're the little guy who was in the park, huh? Huh? Now talk to me, you freak. What did you see, huh? What's all this junk? What is this, some kind of voodoo crap? You know, I don't believe in killing people. That guy in the park, he was just scum. I ought to get a medal for blowing him up. Now, you! I don't know what kind of freak you are. But I can't take any chances. So we'll just call this self-defense. I need to talk to Stan. It'll have to wait. What happened to you? That lunatic ex-partner of yours. No kidding, Sam. That guy is dangerous. Let me see. Hey! I told her to wait. I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Stan, but I really need to discuss this with you. Kaminsky, keep an eye on him. This is the Ballistics report, Stan. This is the gun that killed Zadar. Of course it is. You dragged me out here to tell me that? Well, it's not that simple. (YAWNING) First of all, the prints, there weren't any. Not even a smudge. The gun's not even registered. No? Yeah, I mean, at that range there should have at least been some traces of powder, right? So I'm having them check the angle of entry right now. (SIGHS) Your attention to detail, as always, is admirable, Kennedy. Keep me informed. Now, if you'll excuse me... But Stan, I... (SNORING) Kaminsky! Yes, sir! No! (GUN FIRING) STAN: Go get the dogs! The dogs! Get the dogs! (ALL CLAMORING) (DOGS BARKING) Let them go. (RUMBLING) (DOG WHIMPERING) Are you sure he got away? SAM: Yes! Great! Look, Casey, for the last time, who is he? And what has he got to do with this whole case? I can't tell you that. I can tell you that he can positively identify Stan as the killer in the park. And that Stan also killed Zadar. Stan? Yes. Our Stan? Yes. (GNORM TALKING GIBBERISH) I want that thing found and I want it shot on sight. Yeah, but... (STAMMERS) You heard what I said? (IMITATING STAMMERING) Idiot. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! (RUMBLING) A tunneler? That's all you can tell me? Yes. And you're trying to tell me that he just happened to pop up in the middle of the park just in time to see somebody blown to smithereens by none other than our own Captain of Detectives? Correct! (SIGHS) How am I supposed to believe any of this? (COUGHING) Shava! Sam, meet Gnorm! GNORM: Pooka Sam! Listen, Sam, you gotta get us out of here. Come on, please. It's Kaminsky, Sam. Come on, please. Do what? Move. KAMINSKY: Hey, you! (DOOR BUZZING) Derek, Derek... I've been looking all over for you. Oh, is that right? Yeah! You see, I figured now that we're partners, maybe we should just try and make the best of things. What do you say? Oh, man! I'm reading all sorts of things into this. Oh, come on, Derek. Loosen up a little bit. What do you say we go somewhere and get organized? Hmm? Okay! Ow! (LAUGHING) One second, I need to... Now. Oh, yeah. Oh! Damn disaster area. So, um... What say we... Get organized over dinner? Fabulous idea, Derek. Look, why don't you wait here, and I'll be right back. Okay. Don't you move. I'll be right here. (BREATHING HEAVILY) (YELLING) Ow! (GRUNTS) This is Stan's car. Lumen? Try the trunk. Gnorm, come on. (ENGINE STARTING) All right, Stan just left and Gnorm's with him. Jesus! Let's go. SAM: Where? The airport? CASEY: Not without the money. It wasn't in his car. SAM: He took the briefcase in the park, but then showed up immediately after explosion. CASEY: It would've been too risky to pick it up in broad daylight. Too many people around. SAM: The park! (TIRES SCREECHING) (GNORM SCREAMING) (BRAKES SQUEALING) (STAN GRUNTING) All right. Watch this area. Not this time. Come on, it's just a walk in the park. A walk in the park? I'll be careful. I gotta do this alone, though. Take this. (GRUNTS) (TIRES SCREECHING) (GRUNTING) (SNIFFING) All right, Stan, now you got the briefcase in your hands. Ferril was there. Before you gave him the exploding substitute, you dumped the case, but where? He steps out. Thunk. Hits me on the head. Got you now, Stan. (GRUNTING) (CASEY GROANS) Thanks, Casey. Now you just get your ass up out of there. Stan, why? Don't be naive, boy. It's a lot of money. More than I made in 25 years on the job. (BOTH GRUNTING) (YELLS) (GROANS) You're one to appreciate a little irony, Gallagher. This is your gun. I know how much you always hated to fire it. How do you expect to get away with all this, Stan? In a few hours, I'll be in Mexico. Then I plan on a little drowning accident. The tragic end of Stan Walton. Goodbye, Gallagher. What did you get? I got enough. (STAN GRUNTS) You always were a smart-ass brat, Gallagher. Now you and your little girl are going to have to pay for it. (SCREAMING) (GROWLING) Lumen. You die, slug slime. No, no. Point the other way. Damn little freak! SAM: No! (GROANS) No! SAM: No! Sam, help me. Help me! (GNORM COUGHING) Bad, your breath. CASEY: What's this? The bullet. A very flat bullet. Thick-skinned little runt. Hold him. (GROANS) Had to do it. The lumen's in the bag. Why don't you hang out for a while, Gnorm? Hmm, my people need lumen. Well, you're people need lumen, huh? So you're in a big rush, huh? You know, I'm smelling a Rena thing, Gnorm. You just can't wait to wrap those horny little gnome lips around Rena's. That's what it is, isn't it? Gnorm warrior now. Rena likes warriors, huh? You take good care of yourself, okay? Enough, enough, enough... (LAUGHING) Enough! Now you take it easy. Okay, pal? And, uh, don't be afraid to call your old buddy sometime. Drop me a postcard. Hell, how do say goodbye to a gnome? You say goodbye! Ah, shava. Pooka Sam, hot ticket. Hey, just get out of here, you thick-skinned little runt. (RUMBLING) Well, he's gone. Yeah, he's gone. Well, ah, just us then, huh? Yep. Just you and me. Just two of us. Uh... (CLEARING THROAT) Hey, slug lips. Something wrong with you? Make her toes curl. Take a little trip Take a little trip Take a little trip and see Hey, hey, hey, hey Let's go to town Let's go to town Let's go to town Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Let's go to town Let's go to town Let's go to town Hey, hey, hey, hey Let's go to town Let's go to town Let's go to town Let's go to town Let's go to town Let's go to town MAN: Yeah, that's right. I said hey What you lookin' at I said Yeah, right I said hey What you lookin' at What you lookin' at I said hey |
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