1
Mmm, it's going to be a good year.
Isn't it?
- Oh, yes.
- Yes, I agree.
I took a bit of a flyer, actually.
I bought the whole growth
before there was practically
a leaf on the vines.
But I think it's come off.
- Yes.
- Yes, definitely.
I shan't be in the office this afternoon,
Miss He... Hernshaw.
- I've one or two things to do.
- Yes, Mr Martin.
Are you sure she doesn't know?
- Antonia?
- Mmm.
About us? Positive.
Good.
Are you really glad?
Mmm.
For your sake.
How's her psychoanalysis doing?
Oh, all right.
What's her problem, anyway?
Antonia?
She hasn't got a problem, really.
I think she's hoping to find one.
Has she got a good analyst?
Palmer Anderson?
Oh, he's a genius.
Amazing man.
Extraordinary power.
He's one of our closest friends.
No, Antonia's enjoying herself
disgracefully.
Having the time of her life.
Oh, I feel so awful.
I just feel so awful.
Try to relax.
Try to talk it through.
We must try to be very
lucid about everything.
Very lucid and very honest.
But I feel so awful.
- Excuse me.
- Mm-hmm.
You monster!
You little monster!
Hee hee hee.
Look, I won't be able to see you
till after the holidays.
But I'll ring you anyway, okay?
Oh, darling!
I'm the luckiest man alive,
Georgie Hands.
The luckiest man alive.
Probably.
Bye.
Oh, Jasper, come along.
Who mustn't go on the flower beds?
Look, you run along now.
Hello, darling.
I was beginning to get
quite worried about you.
I've been waiting for ages.
Something wrong?
Yes, I'm afraid so.
I'm afraid...
very much so.
Oh, I feel so awful.
I feel so awful.
Oh, darling, what's the matter?
Has there been
an earthquake in Peru,
or has Jasper got heart PAD?
It's about me...
and Anderson.
Oh, I feel so awful.
Now, why do you feel so awful
about you and Anderson?
Oh, don't be flippant, Martin.
This is serious.
More than serious.
Fatal.
You mean you and Anders...
You and Anderson.
What you're trying to
tell me is that
you're a bit in love with
Palmer Anderson, right?
Frankly, it doesn't surprise me
in the least, darling.
We're all a
bit in love with him.
Bit in love with him myself.
We are not "a bit" in love.
We are deeply
and desperately in love.
Deeply and desperately.
- Antonia...
- I know we probably
should have told you sooner,
but it was such an improbable,
such an extreme love.
Ah, he wants his dinner, doesn't he?
Antonia, don't say wild
and melodramatic things
that you don't mean.
Well, I do mean it.
We both mean it.
I... I'm sorry,
but I want a divorce.
Look, let's just go upstairs
and talk this whole thing over
in a sensible fashion, Antonia.
Now come on, darling,
we're not children.
- Now...
- I do mean it.
- All right, you're in love with Palmer.
- Deeply and desperately.
Deeply and desperately.
Darling, this is something that
happens in psychoanalysis.
I mean, it all began
with some woman
flinging her arms
around Freud's neck, didn't it?
Martin, please try and help me.
I do mean it, and it'll
save us a lot of pain
if you just try and
understand me now.
Try and see what
things are like now.
I know this must be a
ghastly shock, but please try.
I feel so utterly wretched,
hurting you like this, but I...
I can't do otherwise.
I just can't.
Right... Right.
All right, all right.
All right, darling, if you're as much
in love with him as all that,
then perhaps you'd better
go to bed with him.
I've already been to bed with him.
You haven't!
Since when?
And how many times?
Oh, Martin, please try
and understand.
I want a divorce.
I want a divorce!
I'm sorry,
I've fought and fought.
We both have.
Have you really?
This thing has just completely
overwhelmed me.
It's all or nothing.
Well, let me recommend nothing.
I'm damned if we're
going to have a divorce.
I'm damned if we are!
Got a perfectly happy marriage.
Why shouldn't we go on being happy?
Even when we've got our divorce,
sweet Martin,
you'll never have to
do without me.
I'll always be there
when you want me.
I'll never let you go.
I'll always be there
when you want me.
I'll never let you go.
I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I'm going to see Palmer.
He's waiting for you.
Is he, by God?
Oh, now, you mustn't
hate him, Martin.
- He's your best friend.
- We shall see.
All I can promise you is
that if he says we've got to
behave like civilised people,
I shall kick his teeth in.
Martin!
- You bastard!
- Come in.
Well, I suppose this is
your idea of friendship.
You've betrayed my trust,
seduced my wife,
exploited your professional position
in the most scandalous possible manner.
What I really came round here
to do is to smash your face in.
My dear Martin.
You and I are civilised people.
We must try to behave
like civilised people.
We must both try to be
lucid and very honest
in our response to the situation,
just as Antonia...
- Skl.
- Skl.
...and, erm...
and I have been.
Now look, why don't you sit back?
You'd be so much more comfortable.
Oh, stop being so
bloody nice to me, can't you?
But why, Martin?
In heaven's name, why?
I mean, we're friends.
What Antonia and I are,
or may become,
doesn't have to affect what
you and I are.
Though, of course, I...
I concede that some, um...
some delicate adjustments,
some retuning may be called for.
Put up your hands.
I beg your pardon?
Put up your hands.
To stop you choking.
There. Better?
- Much.
- Good.
Palmer, let me remind you,
Antonia and I are married.
Extremely happily married.
Yes, yes, but, um...
happiness isn't
really the point, is it?
I mean, um,
Antonia's been standing still,
and marriage should be, um...
an adventure in development.
And the time has come for her
to take a more
advanced course, I suppose?
I think that's right, Martin.
I think that's right.
I think that's a, er...
a very, um...
lucid and... and a...
honest analysis.
Oh, for Christ's sake! If you want
to have an affair with my wife,
let's have honest lust,
not pseudo-science!
Why abuse your
intelligence like this?
And Martin, before we go any further,
let's get one thing
clear and out of the way.
No-one is letting you down.
No-one's letting me down?
Well, of course they are.
Everyone's letting me down!
You've destroyed
the whole basis of my life.
No-one's letting me down!
Martin,
do you know what this is?
It's a key, isn't it?
To my front door.
Well, what the hell's this for?
To make you realise
you're not being excluded.
The last thing in the world
we want to do is to exclude you.
You're welcome here
at any time. Any time!
This is insanity.
Oh, no, Martin, this is sanity.
We are on the brink
of new things,
and we must hold
very fast to each other.
We're all victims of the
same situation, Martin.
Pawns of our psychological states.
Let's try and be
very lucid and very honest.
I am a pawn,
Antonia is a queen, and you,
unmistakably, are a bishop.
And what's more, you and she
are planning to play and mate in one.
Don't think I can't see that.
Ah, Christ!
Now I've broken my leg.
No, you haven't, you're
simply looking for an injury.
Some wound
to parade in front of me.
Right on the shin!
Well, accidents are frequently
a response to some, um...
masochistic stimulus.
You must analyse it in that light.
The pain is largely
inner-motivated.
Oh, ah, Martin, I do hope
you feel better for your visit.
And, er...
please, above all, er...
don't feel guilty.
Did you see him?
Of course I saw him.
How was he?
Oh, he was fine.
He's always fine.
God, you're beautiful.
Did he get you to understand?
Martin?
Yes, yes, I understand.
And I hardly feel guilty at all.
Oh, I'm so pleased.
Darling, would you... would you
pass me my robe, please?
Yes.
I've been so worried about you.
It's awful this happening,
particularly at the holidays.
- It'd be pretty awful at any time.
- Oh, I know, but at Easter.
Seems worse somehow.
I feel so responsible.
You're welcome to come and spend it
with me and Anderson if you want to.
Look, why do you keep
calling him Anderson?
If... if you've slept with a man,
at least you could go the whole hog
and call him by his first name.
I know, you ought to go and see
your brother and sister.
Rembers will be glorious at
this time of year,
and Rosemary
will be so understanding.
Overjoyed, you mean. Ever since
her own marriage struck a reef
she's lived for the sound of other
couples crunching on the rocks.
Oh, Martin, you are being naughty.
I was absolutely shattered.
Very nice of you.
So was Alexander.
I've never seen him so shattered.
It's been pretty shattering
all round, then?
He was so upset
when he got Antonia's letter.
Oh, she wrote him a letter, did she?
Here you are,
I brought you some plonk.
Oh, bless you.
We were getting rather low.
Oh, look who's here!
Oh, he's such a man, isn't he?
Such a big man!
Yes, yes, isn't he?
I can remember when I was too small
to reach that damn thing.
Alexander used to hold you up.
Martin, you will be nice to
Alexander, won't you?
Because he was shattered.
I shall be all sympathy
in his hour of trial.
Well, you know what I think
about Palmer?
I think he's a fake.
I don't agree.
I think he's a very remarkable man.
That may be.
But I don't think
he's the genuine article.
He's a reproduction human being.
Like the best kind of wax fruit.
Well, here we are again.
Anyone like a biccie?
As Nanny Bell used to say.
Yes, you're right,
Martin, be careful.
When men are deprived of sex,
they make up for it by overeating.
And what do women do, flower?
Good works, my sweet.
Two?
Remember?
Not really Antonia,
of course, without the body.
Do bodies matter that much?
I always thought the best thing
about being God
would be making the heads.
Who's this going to be, hmm?
Oh, I haven't decided.
Why not you?
Oh, no, thanks all the same.
I don't fancy becoming
one of your trophies.
Least of all now with horns on.
- Hmm.
- Hmm.
Fresco, Sasha, come on.
Oh, you're a good dog, aren't you?
Come on, come on.
Oh, where are you going?
You're a good dog, aren't you?
Yes, all right, yes.
Have you been faithful to Antonia?
Yes, of course.
Why "of course"?
Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!
What are you up to, brother?
Now, suppose you
come down from there?
I'll have that, shall I?
Oh!
Oh, I think it'll suit him perfectly.
Oh, the curtains are
going to fit, anyway,
with a tuck here and there.
Where's Anderson?
Oh, it is warm!
Oil-fired.
Anderson?
I'm in the throne room.
This looks like mildew.
Some sort of fungoid discolouration.
Bath seems... oh!
Distinct signs of pond life.
These run hot and cold cocoa.
I feel slightly nauseated.
Oh, I feel so awful
about dragging you here.
Well, never mind.
Martin isn't as fastidious as you are.
Look, Martin...
Darling...
Don't let them suck you down.
Let's go away.
Let's be happy.
Let us be happy.
I want to, darling.
I want to desperately.
Eventually.
It's just... just that
everything's so impossibly
fraught just now.
Look... look, please...
try and be patient.
And please, go on loving me.
And try and be pa...
Thank you, Miss Hernshaw...
Ah...
That's yours, of course.
And of course you must have that.
Oh, yes, I must have that.
And you must have that.
You'd want those,
wouldn't you, darling?
Yes, of course.
- Oh, and you'd better have that.
- Right.
Ah, this is mine.
And that is yours.
Or would you say that that
was mine and this was yours?
No, that's yours and...
this is mine.
Shall we do the books one by one
or shelf by shelf?
Oh, Martin,
you have the books, darling.
No, no, you never know when
you might need a good book.
Oh, Martin, please,
I feel so awful already.
All yours.
You do like the flat,
don't you, darling?
Because Anderson took such a
lot of trouble finding it.
I'm ecstatic.
Martin, please don't.
Don't do what, for Christ's sake?
Well, be so sort of...
blank and sarcastic.
I'm not being blank and sarcastic.
I am grateful to Palmer,
but I do wish you'd all stop
scheming for my welfare.
But we care about you so, darling.
You'll always have us, you know,
no matter what you do.
Lynch-Gibbon.
Martin, Martin,
I'm very much afraid
I may have picked
up a virus this morning
while disinfecting your apartment.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm in very
considerable discomfort,
and I'm due to meet
my sister, Honor Klein,
you know, from Oxford, this evening.
Could you conceivably
go to the station in my place?
Well, it's a bit difficult.
I'm very much afraid
this wind may, er...
inflame my bronchs.
I've just taken a pine bath, and, um,
I'm going straight to bed with a
couple of Paradol.
Oh, all right.
Thank you very much.
Dr Klein?
I'm terribly sorry, but I'm
Martin Lynch-Gibbon.
Where is my brother?
At home.
He has inflamed bronchs.
Look, can I take something?
How was it in Oxford?
This is an unexpected courtesy,
Mr Lynch-Gibbon.
Hello, Jasper, where's Mummy?
Yes, boy, yes, boy.
Um... would you like to go upstairs?
Or what?
- Honor!
- Honor!
Oh, this is nice.
This is nice.
I felt better by the fire.
Oh, darling. Oh!
Morning.
Oh, good morning, sir.
Good morning, Mr Jeffcock.
Thank you.
Will you come through to
the waiting room, Mr Jeffcock?
Hello, Jasper.
Where's Mummy?
Where's Mummy? In here?
Come on, then.
Martin!
Speaking. Here's the basket.
How's the chest?
Well, the whole upper
respiratory tract is clearing slowly.
Yes, and as soon as
patients are finished,
we're going to go
down to Gifford's Heath.
You know, the health farm.
I think we both need a break.
Is that a new dress?
Oh.
Yes, yes. Yes, it is.
Oh, well, I'll take that.
I'll take that.
There, now, who has his bed?
Well, unless there's any other
small office I can perform,
I shall disappear again
below stairs.
This won't do, Martin.
This mock fawning of yours,
you know.
- Won't do what?
- Any good.
You're avoiding reality, taking
refuge in a kind of play-acting.
Behaving too generously
on the surface, and, er...
too harshly underneath.
We need you, Martin.
I need you.
We need more than play-acting.
Much more.
Name it. If it's in the
catalogue, it's yours.
Not love?
Only love will
serve our turn here.
A rare thing, Martin.
Though no name is taken
more often in vain.
Look at us truly.
Look at us as we are.
It's the only way.
I will try, Palmer.
- Oh!
- Oh, sorry.
Mr Jeffcock.
Come in, Mr, er... Mr, um, er...
- Can I help you?
- No, thank you.
You seem to have
rather a lot of stuff here.
I wonder if you realise
how much your gutless behaviour
disappoints them?
I beg your pardon?
They're both experts
in self-deception.
They've enchanted themselves into
believing in this absurd match.
And what would you suggest I do?
They're relying on you to
make them give up something
they're by no means sure
they really want themselves.
You're a passionate man,
Mr Lynch-Gibbon.
You cannot get away with this
intimacy with your wife's seducer.
Your lectureship is in Oxford,
Dr Klein, not here.
I'm not one of your primitive savages.
I don't believe in vendettas.
Only lies and falsehood come of
letting people off.
You think you're being civilised.
I think you're a coward.
Well, at least I'm a civilised coward.
I'm not at all sure you really
want your wife back.
And I'm not at all sure if I care
if you're at all sure,
thanks all the same.
Oh, everyone's after you, aren't they?
You poor old double-dealer, you.
You'll be kind to me,
won't you, Georgie?
You'll let me off?
I love you, Martin.
That's what you never seem
to get into your silly head.
And you don't mind if we go on
keeping our thing secret, do you?
It'd hurt Antonia so dreadfully
if she found out.
Mmm, you couldn't go on playing
injured innocence, could you?
Well, the real thing is,
Antonia'd want to understand.
I think I'd sooner anything than
be understood just at the moment.
Well, we should have gone away,
shouldn't we?
You should have
taken me to New York.
I will, will.
I love you, Georgie Hands.
You can't imagine what it's like having
Honor Klein baying at your heels.
You always forget
she taught me for a while.
When I was at Oxford.
Oh, yes, of course.
Trouble is, I can never
think of you as educated.
Oh no, not another!
Oh! It's the third one this week.
They're always getting in.
Look, grab that broom.
See if you can get him down here.
Mind he doesn't,
you know, on that dress of yours.
- That's it. Come on. Oh!
- Careful.
Nearly got him.
Oh, well done!
Hold him.
There we are. That's it.
Oh, Martin!
Put me down!
I'm going to take you somewhere
and show you something you've
never seen before.
- Oh, where? New York?
- No, not New York.
The house.
Whose house?
My house. Blomfield Road.
Our house. Antonia's and mine.
- Forbidden territory.
- But, Martin...
Wait a minute,
I haven't even got my handbag.
Come on, don't make excuses.
Look, I don't think
it's a very good idea...
Come on.
Touch it.
Touch everything.
I want you to.
You're what's real now.
All this is just scenery, that's all.
It's time for something new.
Oh, Martin, is it possible?
I mean, is it really possible?
It's not only possible, it's true.
Take it.
Take something. I want
to give you something.
Are you sure you're not just
getting at Antonia?
No, no, no.
No.
If there's anything you want...
I want you.
My God, it must be Antonia!
- Come on!
- No, Martin! No!
Go out through that little gate
at the bottom.
You can get round to the square.
Find yourself a taxi and
I'll come round as soon as I can.
- No!
- For God's sake!
No!
Look, Martin, I want to see her.
I don't want to run away.
I want to see her.
I ought to see her.
Go when I bloody tell you.
Darling, what a nice surprise!
Can I help you?
You mean, Mr Lynch-Gibbon,
what the hell am I doing here?
- Do I?
- Don't you?
Yes. What the hell
are you doing here?
I needed a certain key.
It happened to be in
my brother's wallet.
The wallet he lent your wife,
to pay a bill of some kind.
She put it in a basket,
which she left here by mistake
when she called yesterday.
She lent me her key to
come and get it, and here I am.
Here, I fancy, is the basket.
That is without doubt
the longest explanation
I've ever heard in my entire life.
Dr Klein...
Don't go.
Our conversation...
yesterday, you know...
about letting people off.
I was thinking,
I don't suppose you ever
let people off, do you, Dr Klein?
With me, Mr Lynch-Gibbon,
people pay as they earn.
That's rather what I imagined.
Very subtle indeed!
Mmm. I wonder if
you'd just excuse me a moment?
- Miss Hernshaw?
- Yes, Mr Martin?
I'm sorry, could you please try
that Riverside number for me again?
Antonia and I would like you
to come down and see us, Martin.
Yes, at the health farm.
No, we're not the least bit lonely.
We're just very anxious to see you.
Well, here I am. What's up?
Sit down, Martin.
How's the upper respiratory tract?
Entirely free of inflammation,
thank you.
Well, what else has flared up?
Do we tell him?
Yes, of course we tell him.
Martin, we found out
about Georgie Hands.
What, exactly, have you found out?
Everything, Martin.
Everything, everything, everything.
Martin, you've turned our world
upside down.
Much as you did to mine, really.
I didn't kick against the pricks,
I don't see why you should.
It isn't a question of... pricks.
It's a question of honesty.
We can't just leave this thing.
Well, I can, and I'm going to.
Martin, Antonia has a right
to hear from you on this.
To hell with Antonia's rights!
Antonia's forfeited her rights.
Martin, please don't be rude
as well as unkind.
We love you very much.
Yes, please.
Martin, will you take a
cup of parsley tea with us?
I've lost my appetite.
Thanks all the same.
I don't know how you could
tell such lies.
Oh, it's not so difficult.
You managed it for several weeks,
I seem to remember,
without bursting any rivets.
Let's try not to be cheap.
I can't tell you how much it hurts.
Well, I'm sorry.
- I thought you loved me so much.
- And so I did.
And so I do.
I just happen to love Georgie, too.
And love her still?
And love her still.
Christ, one can love two people!
You ought to know that.
Look, you've got the facts.
I don't deny them.
But I refuse to have
a bloody court martial.
- Martin!
- Martin!
Martin!
- Martin!
- Martin!
We love you, Martin.
We want to help you.
We want you to help us.
But, above all,
we want you to be
happy and well adjusted.
If I need any adjusting,
I'll let you know.
Look, Martin, the first thing,
I'm sure you'll agree,
for all our sakes,
is for us to meet Georgie.
Over my dead body.
Well, we shall have to meet her
sooner or later, my dear.
How the hell did they find out?
I expect Honor Klein told them.
- Well, how the hell did she find out?
- I told her.
She came round and I told her.
Well, thanks a lot, I must say.
You're a treacherous little cow,
aren't you?
Aren't you?
You shouldn't have treated me
like your piece on the side.
You... you made me feel so cheap.
I had to talk to someone
just because I...
just... I...
Oh God, the way you treated me!
All right. All right.
- I hated it, Martin, I hated it.
- Oh, all right!
At least you could have told that
bloody hairy bitch to keep her trap shut.
You don't love me,
and you never have.
What you mean is,
you don't love me.
I mean, I wish... wish...
I didn't.
Look, Georgie, darling...
No!
Ha! You can't imagine
what's happened now.
The latest thing is Antonia's
dying to meet you. How about that?
Can you imagine!
Well, that's absolutely fine,
because I'm just...
dying to meet her.
Now don't be silly, darling.
Now don't you start.
Look, I'm not going to introduce you
to Antonia, and that is that.
Antonia, this is Georgie Hands.
Georgie, my wife.
May I call you Georgie? I feel as
though I know you so well already.
Er, if you like.
Oh, thank you.
- Ah, erm... your usual, dear?
- Yes, please.
- Tio Pepe, please. Georgie?
- I want my usual.
Er...
Could I have a Campari, please?
With ice and soda.
And a Scotch, please, no ice.
What, um... what did you say that
Georgie does, Martin?
She's in...
up, up, at the Royal...
I teach Textile Design at the
Royal College of Art.
Oh, how fascinating.
You must call me Antonia.
I don't feel that I can.
Oh, but you must.
You absolutely must. Please.
Look, er...
Look, I...
I wanted to meet you because
I'm tired of the lies, the evasions,
not because I expected us
to be able to talk to each other.
Oh, you mustn't be harsh
with me, my dear.
I promise you, I wish you
nothing but good. It's just...
And I wish you nothing but good, too.
- Both of you.
- What?
Oh look, leave me out of it, please.
Oh, how can we possibly
leave you out of it?
Oh, I love those chains.
Was it that shop in
Beauchamp Place?
What Martin means is,
what he and I are or aren't
has nothing to do with this.
This isn't why we're meeting.
We're meeting so that each of us
knows that the other really exists.
And now we know.
So this is Georgie Hands!
Well, we should have met long ago.
We did. At a party.
At Honor's in Oxford.
Um, well, that is, I met you.
You didn't meet me.
Oh, could you...
No, thank you.
Do you think we ought to have another?
No, I don't think so,
thank you, Martin.
It makes me too sleepy in
the afternoons.
Yes, I'll have
some fennel, thank you.
You know, we were very, um...
very disturbed, Georgie,
when we first, um...
well, when we found out about you.
But, um... now I think we're
all going to be very, um...
very close, very revitalised
in consequence.
Oh, no, thank you.
Anderson doesn't
believe in carbohydrates.
Well, I'm going to have
another half bottle.
I think the flat'll be very
suitable with the right things in it.
Don't you, Anderson?
Er... yes, I... excuse me.
I think they both
should be very happy.
I mean, after all, why not?
Of course, later you might want
something more... spacious,
but, um, when you're first married...
Right, right, right.
Start small and build big.
You know, Martin, I...
I think you're a lucky, lucky fellow.
You know that?
You've no idea how relieved we are.
You mustn't misunderstand me.
- Half of '54, please.
- But for Martin to have someone...
so perfect, it...
it makes us very happy.
Oh, he can be so naughty
about chewing his food.
Antonia, for heaven's sake!
I know, after lunch, let's all go
and look for furniture for them.
After all, we might as well get
used to each other's company.
Right. We'll be seeing
a lot of each other in the future.
No!
Oh, I saw the most
beautiful chest in Liberty's.
No! Look, that's enough.
Sorry, but I think
you're all being obscene!
Obscene, all of you!
It's...
- all this mateyness!
- Georgie!
"I adore your chains"
and "Pass the fennel".
It's sickening.
It's... it's... incestuous!
It's... well, it's like having
strange hands prodding one all over!
Oh, God!
Georgie!
Oh! Oh!
Antonia?
Antonia.
I feel so awful. I tried so hard,
and now I feel so awful.
Antonia, Antonia,
I think we have
to try and be very lucid,
and, er,
very honest here.
It wasn't my idea, you know,
it was your idea.
Don't blame me,
I didn't suggest it.
I don't ever want
to see them again.
- Leave me alone.
- For goodness' sake!
Can I help you?
Oh, I... I thought it was
somebody I knew.
Georgie!
Georgie, come on darling, open up.
I want to talk to you.
Georgie!
All right, darling,
if that's the way you want it.
Hello, baby.
Where's Mummy?
Where's Mummy?
Antonia?
Ah.
I take it they're not in?
And where have they got to?
The opera.
Oh, have they really?
Well, you didn't waste
much time, did you?
Denouncing me to the authorities.
Was it unpleasant?
Oh, I don't know.
S'pose so.
You were in Japan, weren't you?
Yes, I was.
May I see?
That was a good trick.
It was not a trick.
Well, it was very good,
whatever it was.
I gather you've been taught how?
I never got beyond the beginning.
Possibly just as well.
I imagine Japan must have been
very much you.
- How's Palmer?
- Oh, he's fine.
- That's good. And Martin?
- He's fine too.
It's a pity we can't lunch.
- Unfortunately, I've promised...
- Yes, so have I.
Who have you promised?
Mmm, delicious.
Yes, I don't think
Palmer's had any of it.
Well, you should send some round.
Well, I'll bring some round.
Would you, tonight?
We'd love to see you.
Yes, I probably will.
How are things with you and Palmer?
It's... it's really working then?
And how's bed?
Different.
Meaning better, I suppose?
Different!
Yes, well, different is better.
I feel so awful about you and Georgie.
Oh, it wasn't your fault.
Not entirely, anyway.
I think you ought to get right away
and go to Crete, or Turkey,
or Tunis, and find yourself.
And how can I be sure
that I'd be there?
Are you, um...
are you going to see her again?
Well, I shall have to.
- If only to...
- Yes, quite.
Its no use forcing these things.
If something's over, it's over.
"When something's over, it's over."
What the hell are you doing here?
He's having coffee. Want some?
I met Georgie at lunch today.
I suppose by pure blind chance
you happened to sit at
the same table in Joe Lyons?
Honor Klein introduced us.
It's more than likely that I shall
kill that woman!
I suppose you know
Georgie's my mistress?
Yes, she did tell me.
Oh, don't flatter yourself.
She tells everybody.
Now, suppose you clear out?
Martin, for heaven's sake!
Stop being such a... a... heavyweight!
Look, if I want to meet Alexander,
I'll bloody meet Alexander.
I've been bloody wretched lately,
not that you've noticed.
No, well, I'm a bloody monster,
everyone bloody knows that.
You know that, don't you,
bloody Alexander!
- "Why get so angry?"
- "Why get so angry?"!
Look, will you go?
I'm sorry, Martin.
Bye, Georgie.
I'll be off now.
So it's the reign
of terror now, is it?
Treachery's becoming
quite a habit with you.
Oh, all right, all right, all right!
No, it isn't all right.
Martin,
you don't seem to realise
that I'm nearer the edge than you
could possibly imagine.
Do you know why I'm here? Do you?
Because you're the only real thing
left in my life.
Georgie, marry me.
I didn't go to bed with Alexander,
you know.
You don't have to be that jealous.
Well, don't let's get married
just because
I gave your brother
a cup of instant coffee.
I love you, for heaven's sake.
I want you.
That...
You don't love me, right?
No.
Yes.
Yes... no! No!
Yes! I don't know.
Martin?
You once told me that you
passed your girls on to Alexander.
Are you sure he didn't always
take them away from you?
Yes, that's exactly what he did.
We'll have a couple of drinks
and see who's there.
Hello.
Are you a saint or a sinner?
What? I don't know.
Oh, come on, Stephen!
I'm so sorry. You know, I thought
you were going to this party.
Ambrose, do come along.
I've got your mitre.
Hello, how are you, ducky?
Who's that?
It's me.
I've brought the wine.
You in bed already?
Come on up.
Oh, look, er... listen,
bring three glasses and a bottle.
We simply must have
a look at you.
Hello, darling.
Well, don't just stand there,
Martin, dear boy, come in.
I simply adore a dormitory feast.
Ah, we haven't got a corkscrew.
I've got a corkscrew.
I may not have much,
but I always have a corkscrew.
Here we are.
- Darling.
- Oh.
Thank you.
What a ridiculous situation.
I really ought to be
wringing your necks.
Antonia says you're
planning a... a vacation.
Where are you thinking of going?
Oh, I don't know. Somewhere warm.
They say you can go to hell
very cheaply these days.
Well, I thought I'd go there,
as I'm half way already.
Oh, Martin!
Happy New Year.
Darling, you are drunk.
Would you like me to call you a taxi?
I've got this car, actually.
Actually, I'm not
going away after all.
I'm too blindingly happy
where I am.
Oh, I seem to have spilt the wine.
Oh, well, never mind, darling.
It'll come out.
Thank you.
If it doesn't, we can always
put a rug over it.
I forbid you to feel badly.
We'd better have it
treated with disinfectant.
I hope that's okay.
Well, I'd best be off, hm?
Oh, right, well, see you anon.
Oh, the wine's in the hall,
by the way, if that suits.
Oh, er, Martin,
do me a favour, will you?
Pop it down into the cellar.
I'd hate my beloved Mrs Neale
to trip over it in the morning
before I go down.
Right.
Well, I'll say good night.
Good night.
Good night, darling.
And don't worry.
Well, what have I got
to worry about?
The carpet.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
I won't worry about that.
You promise?
Everything's all right?
Everything's all right. Promise.
Oh, er, Martin...
- Corkscrew!
- Oh!
"I may not have much,
but I always have a corkscrew."
Oh, it's you.
Oh, it's you.
I thought you might be my brother.
But I couldn't be.
He's in bed with my wife.
I've just this minute
taken them up some wine.
You're a positive, heroic figure,
Mr Lynch-Gibbon.
One doesn't know
whether to kiss your feet
or recommend you have
a thoroughly good analysis.
- Does one not?
- No.
Why did you introduce my mistress
to my brother?
Because she asked me to.
Anyway, she needed to see a new face.
Well, there's one face
nobody ever needed to see
and that's yours, frankly.
Have you any idea just
how destructive you are?
You ought to be preceded
by a man waving a red flag.
You're a menace,
and a bore, and a prig.
Just keep your scaly fingers
off my affairs in the future, that's all.
I'm warning you.
I've no interest whatever
in your affairs.
Anyway, I'm leaving
for Oxford tomorrow evening
and you can relax.
Hurray, we can all relax.
Palmer and Antonia don't exactly relish
you hanging over them like
a carrion crow either, you know.
You're drunk, Mr Lynch-Gibbon.
When you're sober, you're stupid.
When you're drunk,
you're also disgusting. Good night.
Wait a minute!
Hm.
God!
"My dear..."
"Dear Dr Klein..."
"I..."
Dr Klein...
I simply don't know how to apologise.
I'm afraid I was disgustingly drunk,
and I behaved like a wild beast.
The reason...
The reason...
I behaved like a savage,
like a petulant child,
and all I can ask is
that you try to
understand my state,
and judge my behaviour
accordingly.
Dr...
We are beyond apologies,
things of that sort.
We are enemies.
We have a special bond
between us forever.
Is that not so?
The bond of hatred.
"My dear Honor..."
"Honor, my dear..."
I'm not drunk!
I was drunk, but I'm not...
I mean what I say.
Honor, I love you.
I want you.
You must realise
I never meant to hurt you.
Never!
You're strange...
Don't worry.
Don't worry.
Honor, I love,
loved I not Honor.
Who's that?
Morning, darling.
What are you doing here?
You can't trust the men
with things like these
so I'm doing it myself.
Are you?
Well, what are you doing, exactly?
Moving you out of here
and into the flat.
It's almost ready and
it really is tremendously you.
Is it really?
How tremendously nice for it.
Martin. You can go straight there
after the office if you like.
Give a little housewarming.
Well, thanks a lot, but I don't like.
Look, I'm going out of town
and I may not be back tonight.
Going anywhere nice?
Never mind. Wherever it is,
I can do without an escort
of the Household Cavalry,
thanks all the same.
I'm terribly sorry, but did you know
your front doorbell doesn't function?
I... I... I want...
I want to be very, erm...
very lucid and very honest
about this.
She's not my sister,
you understand that, Martin?
She's my half-sister.
We had two different fathers,
two very different fathers.
And... and this was the...
the end of a chapter,
I assure you, Martin.
The very, very end.
Look, why do you feel you have to
explain things to me?
Don't be concerned about
my disapproving, I don't.
But of course you do.
You feel total horror of it.
You're quaking with horror at this
very minute. I appreciate that.
But your feelings, frankly,
are not what matter here.
The one we have
to look after is Antonia.
- And Honor?
- Martin, please allow me to speak!
I don't think you quite
realise the damage you've done.
Oh, Honor'll be all right.
I mean, she's a very considerable
human being.
What's at stake here
is Antonia's happiness.
A revelation of this kind might
disable her for life.
Well...
Martin, this is desperately grave.
I do hope you're conscious of that.
And if you're as, er...
well, as wise, and as
generous and as good
as I believe you to be...
you'll keep silent.
Anderson!
Oh, hello, dear.
- Hello.
- How are you?
Oh, fine.
- How's your mother?
- Better.
Your weekend was
all right, I gather?
Gather from who?
- Well, from you.
- Oh.
- What's the matter?
- Why do you ask that?
- Well, you look as if...
- What?
Oh, nothing, nothing.
Antonia, I, er... you...
I... I'll do this. Suppose you go
downstairs and make some coffee?
Oh. All right.
I missed you.
I don't suppose you missed me?
Why?
Well... well...
Well, we've had a...
a tiring journey.
- We?
- Honor's here.
- Honor?
- Why do you say it like that?
Have you spoken to Martin?
What do you mean,
have I spoken to Martin?
Well, isn't it clear?
It sounds like English to me.
It sounds clear enough to me,
grammatical enough to me.
Have you spoken to Martin?
Answer me!
Antonia...
Antonia!
Antonia, my dear!
Yes?
Oh!
Martin, Martin, Martin!
Oh, I feel so... oh, I just
feel so absolutely aw...
- Well, what is it? What is it?
- It's Palmer. It's Palmer.
He's completely turned against me.
But completely.
And I don't understand.
I just don't understand.
You haven't told him
anything, have you?
Well, what have I got to tell him?
Oh, I don't know.
People make things up, and
tell lies and things.
But I've just never known him
so strange.
He's... he's so cold and withdrawn,
and it frightens me.
Oh, that's him. It must be him.
Oh, Martin!
Antonia,
I'm here.
Whoever it is,
don't be frightened.
Oh, Martin.
Now, look here...
Ah!
It's all right. It's only the men.
- In there, madam?
- Yes, please.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Antonia, will you come with me,
please, at once?
Look, just, erm...
Antonia is not coming with you,
Palmer, and that's it.
Hm!
You'll both do as I tell you.
Not any more, mein Fhrer.
Now suppose you get out?
You are a little destroyer,
aren't you?
Antonia, use your reason.
I want to talk to you, and not here.
- Get out! Go on, out!
- Not without her.
Are you all right?
Yes, I...
Yes, I think so.
No serious damage.
Oh, hurts like hell, though.
Let's have a look.
Ah, yes, you're going to have
a really horrible black eye.
I'm afraid
I've got nothing to put on it.
I could ring down to Harrods,
I suppose,
and get them to send up
some steak.
No, I... I'd just like
to go home, I think.
Give me a Kleenex, will you?
Unless you've got some sterile gauze.
Always a terrible danger of infection
in these sort of things.
I do hope your hands are clean.
The men are leaving. Could you...
- Could you find me some change?
- Ah.
Er...
I say, could you possibly
lend me five bob?
I'll let you have it back.
I... I'd like to see you again,
Martin, if I may.
We'll see, we'll see.
7, Connaught Place, please.
- Taxi! Taxi!
- Oh, sorry, madam, it's taken.
A friend of mine.
Sorry.
Now what?
Well, I just realised we're not going
to be living here any more, are we?
Oh, Martin, darling Martin...
I just felt so awful without you.
It's us again. We never
really parted, did we, Martin?
Did we not?
I suppose you do want me back?
Hey, is this
the sort of thing you want?
Georgie Hands!
Will you marry me?
No, no, no, no, no.
It can't be true.
Well, they'll be here any minute.
You can hear for yourself.
You idiot!
Well, what have I done?
You let her do it.
You let her do it. You...
you could have stopped
her if you'd wanted to.
My God, I thought you'd be pleased.
Well, goodbye temptation,
after all!
You never should have let her go!
Never!
Oh, I don't want to see them.
I can't see them.
Oh, I feel so awful.
I'm going to get a migraine.
Do you happen to realise
what bloody agony I'm in?
I can't bear it.
I can't bear it.
Darlings!
- I hope we have your blessing?
- Oh, my most hearty blessing.
Ha ha!
Oh, you're a quick worker, I must say.
I knew what I wanted.
Well, we must celebrate.
We must celebrate.
Sorry if it's too cold.
Antonia will stack champagne
in the fridge like frozen peas.
I like it cold.
Well, a happy ending to a strange...
well, a happy ending, anyway!
From both of us to both of you,
love, good wishes,
and congratulations.
The bride and groom!
Where are you honeymooning?
Crete, Tunis, Turkey?
- New York.
- Oh!
Love that outfit.
Yes, yes. She needs brown.
I can't bear it. I can't, I can't!
Antonia!
Excuse me. Antonia!
- What's wrong?
- Oh, let me go, let me go!
I want to die. I feel so awful.
Do you understand all this?
I think we'd better get her upstairs.
No, Antonia's not feeling too good.
Oh, Antonia, Antonia, Antonia,
Antonia!
You're nothing but a...
a pack of cards, all of you!
A pack of cards!
Oh, I feel so awful. I feel so awful!
Georgie.
Georgie!
Ambulance.
Hello? Erm... it's a girl.
She's taken a... an overdose
of something or something.
I don't know.
18, Disraeli Terrace, top floor.
Please hurry.
I was afraid of this.
She sent me a very strange letter.
- She sent me her hair.
- What did she take?
Well, since she let us both know,
it couldn't have been
a very serious attempt.
All right, lift her up.
Oh, I feel awful.
Absolutely awful.
How do you feel?
Guilty. Very, very guilty.
Well, I feel ghastly.
Such a headache.
Well, I've got some Paradol.
Martin, would you get me
some water, please?
- I can't take these without water.
- Yes.
Nurse, I wonder if my wife
could have a glass of water?
She has a slight headache.
I've got a patient through there
who's very ill indeed.
Oh...
Oh, I'm crushed.
Just crushed.
- Better?
- Not really.
Hmm.
Your pulse is slightly accelerated.
Here we are, darling. Found some.
Oh. Mmm. Mmm.
I get these spells,
but just never like this.
Poor you.
I'm afraid you've all
had a terrible time.
I'm sorry.
Well, I think I'd better be going.
Yes, I, er... I think perhaps
you all ought to leave.
I rather want to talk to
my, er... new patient.
Be better soon.
Yes.
Bye, Georgie.
Well, I must go and taste some hock.
Er... I'll call you.
Yes, er, Martin...
not for a day or so, hmm?
Well, my dear young lady,
what we have to do is
try to be very lucid...
Dr Klein?
Can I offer you a lift?
- Yes.
- Six, please.
You seem to have a knack
of knowing more about me
than I know myself.
I wonder if you know
I love you.
Yes.
Do you have any idea how much?
Does it matter?
What, that I love you,
or how much?
I'm touched that you love me,
that's all.
It's not all.
Honor, I want you savagely,
and I shall fight for you savagely.
- Fight whom?
- Anyone.
All of them if necessary. I'd...
walk through fire and sea
if you called me.
But I shan't.
Go back to reality, Martin.
- What's that?
- Your wife.
No, this is reality. Now.
Not my wife, not my home. You.
I tell you, I c...
I can't live without you.
Your love for me doesn't
inhabit the real world,
because of what I am,
because of what you saw
that night in Oxford.
I'm an object of
terrible fascination to you.
- I can't live without you.
- A severed head,
such as primitive tribes used,
putting a morsel of gold on its tongue
to make it utter prophecies.
As real people, you and I
do not exist for one another.
I love you.
Palmer will be back soon.
Please go.
Look, it's you who are
evading reality.
Is it?
I must see you again.
We leave for American tomorrow.
We have lecture commitments.
No.
Yes.
I want you!
Dear me.
And what would you do
with me if you had me?
Please!
Go home.
Go home, and comfort your wife.
Will you please tell me what
all this is about?
Where the hell have you
been all night?
I... I don't, um...
quite know what to tell you,
because I don't know
how much you know.
I can't believe there's anything
left to know.
Antonia, what is it this time?
Me and Alexander.
You and Alexander.
Oh, you were so splendid
about Anderson, darling.
- Don't spoil things now.
- I've spent all my splendour.
Martin, be reasonable. It isn't
as if this were anything new.
Oh, well...
What do you mean?
How long has this been going on?
Always, really.
Always?
And when did "always" begin?
A year ago? Five years ago?
When we got married?
- Before, really.
- Before?
My God!
We never really got married at all.
We never really got married at all!
Oh, well, at least this time you won't
have to change your name.
It'll be much less confusing
for the tradespeople.
"Mrs Lynch-Gibbon is dead.
Long live Mrs Lynch-Gibbon."
Oh, Martin, I do love you.
You're such a dear, sweet,
generous person.
I'll never let you go, Martin, ever.
You never married me at all.
You adopted me.
This is the first call
for passengers travelling on
Pan American Jet Clipper
Flight 109 to New York.
All passengers for this flight
should proceed up the second staircase,
turning right for passport control,
Customs and the departure lounge.
I've just put the kettle on.
Just this minute.
Come on.
- Champagne, Madam?
- Yes, please.
- Sir?
- No.
Could be memorable.
Yes, yes, oh yes.
I came back for you.
You wanted me to.
And I did.
I thought I'd finally got rid of you.
All of you.
Have you come here to torment me?
To torment you?
I fully realise that
tormenting people
is just a by-product of a
character like yours.
Have you come here out of pity,
because you know that I love you?
Can we possibly be happy?
Do you really want to be happy?
I thought you wanted me.
I wonder if I shall survive?
You must take your chance, my dear.
And so must you,
my love.