1
Honey, It's time to go. We'll go
home and we'll open our presents.
No we have to wait.
The son of Santa so daddy will
come home for Christmas.
Please don't promise her things
she can't have.
Honey I told you. Daddy's on a
business trip and he won't be home.
Actually I think he will.
Daddy!
But what about your business
trip?
I told them they could wait.
Christmas is for family.
Cut!
Ok everybody that's a cut!
You're doing it again.
What?
Bond Villain.
How many times have I fired you
today?
Mmm I stopped counting when I
ran out of fingers.
Are we good?
Yeah it was alright.
It was alright. Thank you.
That's lunch.
Ok people we got it! That's
lunch!
Eric.
How long have you been here?
I waved. You were kinda in the
zone.
Tis the season to be jolly.
Fa la la la la la la la la
Penny who? what? why?...
You said the crew could have a
gift exchange.
I gotta go.
No no no you gotta wait a
minute.
A said anonymous. Fast.
Discrete.
Old man Barnes lives for this.
- He's a distraction.
- Look at that face!
Mr. Barnes I'm sorry but we're
gonna have to cut this short.
What is that noise?
Where's it coming from? Hello?
Am I the only one that could
hear that?
Look you asked me to come down to see you.
So I came down. I see you...
Meg. It's Frank again.
Goodbye.
Hi. Umm Sal.
Hi! Meg.
How did you know my name?
That bohunk over there called
you Meg.
You need to go.
Ok.
I'm sorry?
Can I help you?
My bell.
Oh yes. Right.
Wait.
Merry Christmas.
You too Mr. Barnes.
You too.
How did she know your name?
- Hey.
- I'm gonna go.
Wait! No I thought you were
gonna stay for dinner?
Your craft service guys have not even
heard for paleo and you're not exactly-
We'll find you something to eat
I'm -
- Yes. Yes.
- How is this?
Yes! That is truly repulsive. It looks like
grandmas old yarn. Where did you find it?
You've seen me knit.
Well done! Yes! taking one for
the team.
Hey everyone! This right here is
what I'm talking about.
Christmas is not for the elves.
Hurra!
Yeah. Ok.
Eric.
Honey.
Hold on.
Pooch got the hi-roller suite.
It's gonna be epic.
Sweetheart it's gonna be Christmas. You sure
you want to go to Vegas for a bro-liday?
Says the head elf. Huh? Hurra!
Well?
Come on, I'll be home by Monday
just in time for therapy.
Ok.
Meg?
Ummm Not now.
Now! Meg.
Hi Frank! Hello.
You're not answering your phone.
Ok. Frank listen to me.
The scene with the snow angels I can
make it better. I promise I can.
You tell me every year you watch
these films with your family.
You say they are the only thing you make
that you actually do watch with them.
You are making me older by the
minute.
No. That's just life doing that.
It's a figure of speech Meg.
Let me do this my way.
Ok please?
I might be a dysfunctional shipwreck
of a human being but I know Christmas.
I can-No I will deliver the
perfect Christmas movie.
Keep shooting.
Yes.
No!
I'm sorry?
No. Meg this is not ok.
Oh here we go.
Meg these people have families!
I have a family.
Well no one is making you stay Bob
Cratchit. Would you like to leave?
That's what I thought. It is now 2:57, We are
gonna come back in 15 minutes and keep shooting.
You shouldn't wear your hair
like that.
Makes you look old.
I though I told you to leave.
I like it here.
Plus it reminds me of that.
That's what you're going for
right?
You want people to feel like they
are really right up in there?
Nose pressed up against the
glass.
Life's like a snow globe. You gotta
shake it up to see the snow.
Yoo hoo!
How did you get there?
Let me see it.
Come on. Give it a shake.
Look at that! It's so shiny.
It's glitter.
Hmm. That's not what you see.
Snow is falling down slowly.
Tiny perfect little town with
tiny perfect little people.
It's everything you'll never
have.
I don't need this.
Are you sure about that?
You gotta want it.
Really want it.
Ok.
Meg! Meg!
Meg? Meg?
Meg? Meg!
Meg!
Sweetie?
Honey?
Ah she's awake. Thank goodness.
What?
We were all so worried about
you.
Where am I?
Now.
You young lady took quite a
spill.
You need your rest. I want you to run along home
now and have yourself a nice cup of hot coco.
And if you do that you will be
right as rain in no time.
What is this?
Teddy must have dinged y
pretty bad.
Wait? Ted?
From college?
We use to date.
Yeah babe and then we got
married. I'm your husband.
I - no stop it. Stop doing that.
Uh what is this? Are we filming
here?
Where's the crew?
Ok. Uh this is obviously an
exterior scene.
How did we get here?
Last thing I remember...
Oh?
I think I tried to cancel
Christmas.
Honey you may be a control freak but
not even you can cancel Christmas.
Please stop calling me honey.
I'm not your honey.
I'm sorry did you say married?
What?
To a lumber jack?
You're starting to scare the
kids.
Kids?
Mom. Sorry. Dad told me not to
pack it too tight.
Mom?
Yeah.
Ok. This is hilarious.
Crew prank right?
Trying to punish me by giving me
"It's a wonderful life".
Complete with that corny modern
really really photogenic family.
You guys are good! Let me see you. Wow! You
even look like a real brother and sister.
Who's your agent?
Ok?
This is obviously all fake.
Um, this is actual snow. We don't
have the money for actual snow.
Christmas is not for the elves!
Hoora?
It's an episode.
Penny! Where is Penny?
Is mom gonna be ok?
Yeah Teddy. She's gonna be fine.
Mia why don't you take your
brother home?
I'll be there in a second.
Meg!
Thanks Doc!
Officer!
Office thank goodness you're here. I
need to report a potential kidnapping.
This gentlemen right here is trying to take
me against my will and I'm pretty sure-
What?
he drugged me because I have no idea
where I am or who I am right now.
Baby no!
Yeah! He keeps calling baby and
he thinks I'm his wife.
- And we are not married.
- You are my wife!
I'm am not your wife.
Problem Sir?
Oh you?
I should have known.
Offir there is absolutely no
problem ok?
We were having a snowball fight.
My son dinged her in the head.
She has a mid case of amnesia.
That's what the doctor said.
I got hit in the head.
Exactly! Yes! You got hit in the
head.
You're at home in your tiny
perfect town.
I'm in my movie.
Oh no.
I'm in my F-. Standard and practices
don't swear. Freaken' movie!
You know what?
Meg.
You're absolutely right.
You are in a movie.
And this right here. This is a
set!
Guess what?
The camera is in the truck.
So baby why don't we head towards
the truck where the camera is.
This is amazing.
Roll sound!
Wow! I even got the clock tower
right.
uh huh.
This is like my snow globe.
Yeah.
Just brought on by stress and
energy drinks.
This just feels so real.
Yeah. Get in the truck.
Ok. Yeah.
Oh god she lost her mind.
I'm going to fix you a drink.
Ok.
Whoa.
What? Eggnog? Are you keeping me. That
stuff has a squintilian calories per sip.
Just the way you like it.
Full cream. Extra nutmeg.
To you.
Oh. I just have to keep asking
myself. WWMOD.
What's that?
What Would Marie Osmond Do.
Oh. Gotcha.
To us!
Mmmm.
Dream food has no calories!
Show me more.
Absolutely. Follow me this way.
A little bit of paradise. My mom
use to call it "Landover".
Whoa! It's beautiful.
...Mom. Dad. You're home.
Oh! It's our beautiful kids.
Hey! Come over here.
Oh my goodness.
Let me look at you.
Wow!
You're perfect.
This is the best concussion
ever.
Snow ball fight!
Yay!
No! No no no no!
No no!
Baby 20 minutes ago you didn't
remember their names.
Well...
So maybe we should start easy.
Snowman.
Yeah!
Snowman!
- Ok.
- Alright.
Snowman.
Wow this a really nice dream.
I don't want to wake up.
So afraid this will end.
You say that every night honey
and, it never does.
Get unr these... arms right
there.
Hey I remember what I use to
call you.
What?
Show tune Ted.
Cause you loved musical theater.
I still love musical theater.
I still love you.
So this is what it would have
been like.
If i would have joined you on
the train that day.
Remember?
uh-hm.
You invited me to join you for
Christmas.
I was suppose to take the 3
o'clock train.
But instead I backed out at the
last minute.
I had work so, I just didn't
show.
But then you turned around and
you came witme here.
Wow.
Can you imagine?
I don't have to.
Why?
Because you're here.
You chose to be here. You chose
to be with me.
You're gonna remember that.
What if I don't?
They I will use every tool in my
formatable arcinal to make sure
that you fall in love with
me all over again.
It sure is a lovely dream.
But every dream has to end
sometime, right?
Uh. Damn E train.
E train?
Ugh!
Reality.
Where's my phone? I gotta call
Penny.
What's up babe?
You're still here?
Yeah I'm still here! I live
here!
I'm still here?
Yeah baby you live here too.
What the? Meg! Meg! Wait!
Oh this is no dream.
This is really happening.
ing g out! Wait up Meg!
Wake up!
Alright Meg you are going to
wake up. Right now!
Ouch!
Nothing is working!
Mom!
Oh! Tiny perfect children still.
Ok.
- Perfect!
- Right.
Guys would you go upstairs and get ready for
school ok? Come on. Chop chop let's go.
Come on!
Upstairs!
Now baby-
Stop calling me baby.
Stop it.
Ok.
Megan I am going to go upstairs.
And when I get up there I am going
to get the kids ready for school.
The slow talking is not working.
Fine! But what I need you to do
is relax.
And I'm gonna go out and I'm
gonna take the kids to school
and then I'm get Doc
Wilson alright?
Now what I want you to do right
now is sit down and just relax.
Whoo!
Rocking the rockin-There you
go!
There it is.
Ok? Alright.
Good afternoon Meg. See you at
Boss? You are here?
I heard about the old
concussion-rooney.
I didn't even recognize you.
You're actually happy!
When you get to do what you
love, how can you not be happy.
Trains? You love trains?
Ever since I was a boy.
So you hoping on Meg?
Do you stop at Penn station?
Just around the town, like
always.
Right.
Ok. I'll find a way out of here.
Ha ha!
Let's see.
- Ah!
Hi.
I'm just umm...
Car trouble Meg?
Yeah that's it. I... I don't
remember where I put my key.
Oh. I can help you with that.
Sweet.
Hang on. You're that extra.
Extra? Extra what?
Carl?
What?
Just checking your pupils.
You know, you can't be too careful
when you've had a concussion.
Oh come on. What ever happen Doctor
patient confidentiality in this town.
Well here you go.
Thank you.
Remember Meg, Under the mat is
where most people keep their keys.
Copy that.
Hello again Meg!
Are you ready to finish
Christmas shopping hun?
Sure.
Excuse me?
Yeah?
I need to use this road.
Can't.
Why is that?
There's a blizzard coming. Not
safe.
Uh huh.
And how am I suppose to...
You want my takeon things?
Does it really matter if I do or
not?
Everything you need is right
here.
Eh perfectly normal.
There's nothing physically wrong
with you.
See I told you.
And you... house call. You're so
clich I'm mad at my brain right now.
So Doc how long will this
episode gonna last for?
Oh these delusions are usually short-lived.
At least that's what all the books say.
She'll see something for example
and all of a sudden
Memory.
You know? Just takes the right
trigger.
Pull the trigger.
Just a short sharp shock. And
then...
Meg?
Meg!
Hey.
Oh.
Hello.
Can I ask you something?
Given you're the personification
of a deep physical trauma
and/or my psychotic break, knock
yourself out.
What's your hurry?
I have things.
What?
Are you so sure?
OK cryptic omnipresent ghost angel.
Empart upon me your whimsical truth.
What if this is your real life?
What? I'm sorry that's all?
That's it.
Later alligator.
After a while you crock of sh...
- It's a Christmas Miracle!
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
You're alright? You're alright?
That's me. I am alright.
I got an idea.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Come with me.
Alright keep your eyes closed.
Don't open them until I say now
alright?
OK.
Don't open them until I say now.
Now.
Ah.
Initials?
That's some how suppose to fix
everything?
These are our initials.
Ooh.
Look around. Babe this is the
place where I proposed to you.
Yeah and...
Where you said yes.
Ok.
You got to remember some of it.
I think you are just miss
understanding. It just that you
acting exactly someone or
something that I wrote.
The crazy thing is just way too
perfect.
You don't say it like a
compliment.
It's not.
How is that suppose to make me
feel?
I'm sorry. I'm sure you are a
really nice guy.
But?
But, I don't belong here.
You know what? You are here.
So maybe it's time that you realize
that you are a little perfect too.
Hang on a second that was supposed
to be charming wasn't it?
A little bit.
Well you my friend, you are in
need of a rewrite.
Just saying.
I bet you remember this!
Awaiting the sensation of a
short sharp shock!
From the chip chippy chopper on
my big black block.
What's that?
College? It's the show we did in
college. Don't you remember?
uh uh.
Gilbert & Sullivan.
Gilbert & Sullivan.
Gilbert & Sullivan.
Gilbert... ok.
Show tunes Ted.
Hey Meg.
Mr. Barnes?
We know each other better than
that. Call me "Old Man Barnes".
Like in an episode of
Scooby-Doo.
Ok.
Hear you had quite a nasty
spill. You alright?
Yeah I'm good.
Hey.
If I tell you something can you
promise to keep a secret?
I am like crazy lost.
Where do you want to go?
Oh, it's not the question of the
day.
No the question of the day is, Do
you want help to find you way?
Yes I do. But I also do not want you
to tell my Ted. I mean, my husband.
Alrighty.
If you follow this path. Cut through
there and basically you're downtown.
Sounds good.
Thank you.
Hey.
Yes?
You realize you are sitting on a
fortune here right?
What do you mean?
Well this. This is what
everybody wants.
The dream of wonderland.
You have any idea how hard I work every
year to capture this exact feeling?
At the pageant?
Exactly.
That's right. The pageant.
Anyway, I'm just saying.
Do something with it.
Make a fortune.
The forest is the heart of the
town.
As long as there's a pulse in my
chest that will never happen.
Found you.
I guess you did.
And now we're back in
civilization.
Adjacent.
Wow.
What?
These majors are exquisite.
They're all hand painted.
Just like your grandpa use to
make right?
That's right.
Don't look at me like that.
Like what?
Like I don't know you. Alright.
You may not know me but believe you missy,
I've been to the circus and seen the show.
The whole show?
All three rings.
Alright. What street does my mom
live on?
I'm not playing this game.
What game?
I'm not playing quiz kid Ted.
Why now? If you did you could
prove to me that you're real.
Except if I'm a figment of your imagination,
wouldn't I know everything you know?
So me telling you wouldn't prove
anything.
It's a fallacy.
An Argument from innocence.
What does that mean?
- Oh you don't know what that means?
- No.
That's because in college I took
debate and you didn't.
Which means I know something you
don't.
Which is impossible. Unless...
I'm real.
Woooo!
See that right there? That's my
real dance.
That's nice.
Let me do. Let me do let me finish it off.
Let me finish it off.
Work it out. Alright I'm good.
Ok point Ted.
Alright.
Yes.
Looser buys lunch.
I don't have any money.
Check your back pocket.
Go on.
Oh what the? What the? That's
because we share a wallet.
Yeah. My wife hates purses.
That was your brain. Brain
blowing.
I got it.
I blew your mind you get it?
- I get it. Yeah mind blown.
- Ok. Just saying. You got amnesia.
And here's your extra large rice
pudding.
Yay!
And your pancakes.
Oh Oh.
This is all so amazing.
I'll be back with your griddled
cheese and your BLT.
Mmm extra B.
Extra B. I remember.
Thank you.
You do realize I'm humoring you
right now?
Hey buddy you opened pandora's
box with that eggnog.
What's the deal with that clock
over there?
Every time I look at it it says
2:59.
It's right twice a day.
The weird thing is that that's the
exact time I had my accident.
I'm just waiting for you to try
the rice pudding.
Mmm. It's really really good.
You know that very rice pudding was your favorite
food when you were pregnat with Teddy Jr.
You couldn't get enough of it.
You use to send me at all
hours of the night
to get that for you.
You remember?
Sorry I don't remember.
Nope I do not.
So...
I just want to be super clear ok? I don't remember
anything about our married life together.
And I will never remember anything about
our married life together because
we don't have, in fact we never
had a married life together.
So all these adorable little
reminds and...
perfect may I add reminds. It's
just not working.
OK. I too want to be perfectly
clear.
Umm...
You are my wife.
And you're the mother of our
children.
And every time you say you're not
it's like a dagger through my heart.
So whatever it is you got going
on you gotta figure it out
because I'm almost
out of perfect.
And I'm serious. If you have to
pretend but...
Don't do more damage then what
you already have.
Oh shoot.
That man is looking for his car.
Which is all the way out in
bumplefudge.
That's my Eric!
Your Eric.
Eric!
Aah!
Megan!
You didn't go to Vegas.
No?
Eric if you are in on all of
this I have taken it in, and
I've found my ability to forgive but
mostly I am so happy to see you.
Well I would be happy to see my
car. I think someone stole it.
Oh that was your car? No no I
took it.
You stole my car?
Well I borrowed it.
But Eric listen to me I, I
respect your intentions but
I am filled with gratitude that
we are both stuck here together
in this crazy town.
Well I'm stuck here cause you
stole my car.
It must have been a heck of a
concussion.
Eric please tell me you remember
our life together?
Honey?
Ted.
Hey.
I expect you to make this car
thing right.
Absolutely. All the free
firewood you want.
You two know each other?
You know I rather have your
house. My offer still stands.
Like I said, It's not for sale
Mayor.
Mayor?
Eric the Mayor?
Yes and unfortunately I have a
city counsel meeting to get to.
I guess I have to walk.
Sorry about that.
See you two at the festival
committee meeting huh.
Really sorry about that.
We'll get your car back to you.
He didn't even wave.
Huh? What?
He didn't wave goodbye.
Ok I'll be right there!
Honey I gotta pay the tab that
we ran out on. Please don't-
Oh no! You've gone crazy again.
Don't go crazy.
Don't cry first of all. Don't
cry.
Second don't steal anything.
Third, try not to act crazy.
Well, I guess i might as well
just give up.
Unless.
Wait she said everything I need is
right here. That's what she meant.
Hmm?
Ted, what did Eric just say
about doing a festival meeting?
Yeah, we do the pageant every
year.
Oh! That is the perfect opportunity
to work on our relationship.
Absolutely baby. It will be just
like College.
Red and Ginger all over again.
Yeah that's - that's right.
Show tune Ted.
More like
Show tune Ted.
He's got shows tunes he's
go...
I get the point.
- Alright.
- Thank You.
Meg.
Honey we are gonna run the show
from the top ok?
Ok I'll be right there, I'm just
gonna grab an eggnog.
Nog it up like I do.
Ok.
Hello. Mayor Eric.
Megan.
There we go. Alright so gonna draw straws
and that's how we'll hand out parts ok?
So everybody grab a straw.
I just stopped by to tell you that we just don't
have wiggle room for the costumes this year.
But you can sow right?
Uh yeah you bet.
Christmas is not for the elves.
What does that even mean?
Oh, You know just that it's the elves job to
make Christmas special for everyone else.
There just not enough money in
the budget.
There is never enough money.
Um Eric?
Um you know I've been thinking about some
ideas of how the town could make some money.
Oh yeah?
uh huh.
Go on.
I means If this were the city you could put
up all these contradicting conflicting
street signs and then give out a
whole bunch of parking tickets.
You know what, that is actually
a good Idea.
Yeah? Well I'm full of good ideas
for how the town can raise funds.
Oh yeah? Like what?
How about the woods?
I mean they're beautiful but
they're just so big.
You can certainly develop part
of them.
Like a country club.
Yeah exactly!
Maybe some ski lifts.
parking lots. Power. Water.
You'd have to bulldoze about
half. Maybe 3/4 of it.
Well that might be a little
ambitious.
You know, I have to admit. I am seeing you
through completely new eyes right now.
Oh yeah?
We should talk over lunch about
your ideas.
Action.
There is no room in this inn.
Very good.
What?
Huh? Nothing.
If you have something to say you should
go up there and say it. Go for yours.
Really?
- Go for yours.
- Alright.
Talent!
I was just kidding but ok.
I have an idea.
Starting tomorrow we're gonna
change things up a bit.
No more picking actors by drawn straws.
We are gonna do actual auditions.
I would like all of you to come
in tomorrow morning having
prepared 2 paged dramatic
monologues.
Um, what is a monologue?
Google it.
No Google?
No.
Library?
Alright library it.
Come ready to dance.
I like that you are changing
things up a little bit.
Thank you.
You know what I really like?
What's that?
The dance. Give me some.
Oh oh! Hello!
Somebody's got her mojo back.
I yes.
- Yeah!
- I do.
Back in college we use to shake
it on the dance floor.
Don't there's kids aund.
Shake itrom behind.
Ok kids here.
That's right.
Let's get some work done.
They know how they go here don't
they?
I don't know.
So when are we gonna get a tree?
Not today. We have a show to
rewrite.
But it's almost Christmas.
Well.
Meg. Ted.
Hey.
Mr. Blevin.
Have you seen our new trees?
Just got them in.
You know our tradition. We cut
one. We plant one.
That's right.
Do you have trees like this?
Oh I love this.
That is kitchy.
Consider my gift to you.
Oh wow.
Are you serious? Thank you so
much.
Just remember my son Lyn.
He's auditioning tomorrow. He's
very talented.
I will be sure to keep out my
eye out for him.
And I will let you know as soon as AD
space goes on sale for our program.
I'm picturing a colorful, full
page spread for your shop.
Baby we don't have programs.
We will.
Leave it to me and we're gonna have programs,
flyers, tweets, blogs, social network.
Tweet and blogs?
Or just flyers.
See Teddy it's perfect. We got a
tree out of the deal too.
Win Win.
But it's not the same.
Meg.
This is pretty.
If you like purple.
And I do.
- Hey.
- You got a second?
- Sure.
- I want to show you something.
- Ok.
- Yeah.
This is beautiful. You did this?
Yeah. Just like our honeymoon.
What's that?
It's our song.
- I can't.
- Meg.
I can't I'm sorry.
Come on.
I'm not, I'm not your wife.
And I'm not your Meg.
I know you think I am.
Touching me would be cheating on
her.
If you're not my wife where is
my wife?
I don't know.
But I do know i'm not her.
Ok?
I'm sorry. I'll go sleep on theo
No.
I know you're in there.
Ok guys. Let's g
lleveryoyone andnd welcocome t.
[Cin
I'm just gonna grab a bucket of
nog.
Don't hurt yourself.
Hey.
I need to talk to you about
something really quick alright?
I think it would make your mom really
happy if you auditioned for the show.
Can I get a real tree though?
What did Eric want?
Oh just wanted to remind us about
the Christmas party tonight.
So is Teddy gonna audition or
what?
I know I tried to convince him
but uh, nope.
Hmm.
Ok Rose show us what you got.
Silent night. Holy...
Jingle all the way..
Heavenly Peace
Hey
Sleep in heavenly peace
Look at them they are just
spinning on their toes.
They are spinning on something.
Singing
Mom?
Yeah?
Do I have to sing?
Do you want a part?
But...
I can't just give you a part.
It doesn't work like that.
You're just gonna have to try
mama mia.
Everyone lands somewhere. Just
give it a shot.
Are we ready?
Silent night. Holy
night. All has calm. All is bright. Ri...
Please make it stop.
Um honey.
Good job. Thank you.
Nice work Mia.
Way way to hustle.
Ok I think-
There's just one more audition
if you don't mind.
- We're gonna look at cast list first.
- Well we should let Mr. Barnes go.
And how many years have you
played Santa now?
Everyone auditions.
No gimmies. Thank you.
Everyone auditions so...
We can't wait to see.
Twas a night before Christmas
and all through the house.
Sturing. Not e-
Sorry. My throat-
gets a little scratchy.
Mr. Barnes I think we have heard
enough.
Thank you very much for coming
in.
Oh ok. Thank you.
Ok I think we are ready to...
post the cast list.
Umm... yeah.
Actually if it's ok.
Singing Toyland
He's really good.
Singing Toyland
What did you say to him?
It's just a little trick I
learned in College.
What's that?
If you ever want to land a woman like your
mother some day best way to her heart is
a snappy tune and some fancy
foot work.
I'll help you figure out what
you're really good at ok?
I promise.
Ok everyone!
Now you know what parts you're
playing. Now get up on stage and
try blocking before Ted and I
have to go home.
Things change.
Come on. Places please.
The ones they picked weren't
that good?
Some people just don't know
talent when it bites them in the-
Tell me about it. Picking your
own kid to play Joseph.
Merry Christmas gentlemen.
See dad they have a real tree.
Yeah I know buddy. We'll get one
soon.
Ok.
You were amazing.
Thanks. Now would you be a lamb
and get me some more punch?
Meg.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
I am really really glad you're
here.
I was thinking about what you
said.
You know about find a way?
There's something about you
that-
Hey honey.
Yeah?
Have you seen mimi? Teddy Jr
said she ran off crying.
Mia locked herself in the den
and won't come out.
Baby open up.
Go away. Leave me alone.
Mia open the door.
She doesn't want to.
Ok.
What's wrong sweety?
I wanna die.
People are treating me like I'm
a total dork.
Oh no.
You're not a dork.
Come here.
Ok.
Alright.
When I was your age same exact
thing happened to me.
I auditioned for a play and they told me, and
I quote "You have the worst singing voice
I've ever heard in my whole
life".
Where they wrong?
No they were not wrong. I sound
like a dying cow.
I was like Woooo woooo
I'm not even exaggerating..
So what did you do?
Well...
I became the story teller.
I became the one who decides
where the story goes.
Ok.
I've got an idea.
Allow me to introduce you to our
new assistant producer.
Congratulations sweetie.
Thanks!
I'm not gonna even let my kid
audition next year.
It's demoralizing.
Why are you always trying to
upstage me?
Tell me about it.
Would you stop flirting with
victoria.
You think you're better then
everyone else.
I can't help it if you can't
sing.
- Bribery.
- I'm sick of you.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa.
Ok now now now.
It's a party huh.
Just remember where we are huh.
Oh yeah? and just where are we? cause last
time I checked this town did not give parking
tickets for no reason mayor.
Ok guys guys. It's Christmas.
Christmas? yeah try telling my kid that.
he's been crying all day
cause he got shot down for the
pageant.
We are all a little disappointed
but it's early. Ok?
We're working on it. Ok.
Everybody. You know what? umm.
Everyone we are here at mayor Eric's
house to celebrate Christmas time.
At Christmas time I like to ding my
favorite song. And my favorite song is
Toyland. Toyland. Little girl
and boyland
Singing Toyland
Yeah! can you do me a favor and
grab this.
We are going to dance baby.
- Ok.
- You and me.
Alright.
You guys wanna switch?
Come on baby.
Hey!
- Ok that was pretty awful.
- Yeah.
Well it was actually the most
fun I've had in years.
Hmm.
Toyland toyland, little girl
and boyland...
Wait you can sing.
Just a little bit.
You did that for me?
Just to make me feel more
comfortable?
Dad! Teddy's trying to climb the
Christmas Tree.
I should probably get that.
I guess.
I'll bring us back some special
eggnog.
Oh um, about the eggnog I'm not
sure.
I tried to button my mom jeans this
morning and they were a little...
Snug.
What are you talking about? You are the
most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
Dad!
Yeeeaaahhh....
Uh...
Stay right here. I'll be right
back ok?
Ok.
Coming Mi-Mi.
Meg.
Meg listen, You and I. We have
something electric.
And I know you're married but I
can work with that.
Work with that?
Yeah I'm like JFK. And you're my
Marilyn.
Umm, You do know how that ended,
right?
Look, I'm no good with words...
I mean you are smart and
worldly.
Like that thing you suggested about
developing the land. I mean...
Eric, that was a bad idea. A mistake.
Promise me you won't do anything...
Look Meg. You and I belong
together.
Ok? Just not all the time.
Wait what?
No Eric...
No Ted.
Ah crappers, my wife.
Penny's your wife?
Yeah.
Oh. Ted.
Ted!
Penny.
Ted. Please wait wait.
Hold on. Let me explain ok?
I thought he was the one I was
supposed to fix things with.
I thought he was the one I was
supposed to go back to.
Meg, I want you to ask yourself
a question.
I want you to be completely
honest, ok?
What do you think is more
likely.
That you're a mom. Married to a
boring husband...
No you're not boring. You are
the furthest-
Living in a town where the only excitement
that happens is for a few days during
Christmas were you direct a pageant that
is actually more fun the worst it is?
Or some self fulfilled fantasy where you
actually produce Christmas movies instead
of watching them in front of a
fire, drinking eggnog.
I get it. I get what you were
trying to tell me.
And I didn't want to hear it
but...
You know what you were right.
You were right Meg. You are not
the woman I married.
If you were looking for a way
out, you found it.
Ted. Hey Ted.
Ted.
Hey.
I was uh-I was really pulling
for you there sweetheart.
I can fix this. I know I can.
It's really coming down out
here.
Yeah. That's the thing about a
snow globe.
The snow doesn't just fall, it
also swirls.
And you just don't know where
it's gonna land.
Ok, I I can dodo this. s. This st
I do..
- Latesest scriript pagages? HeH.
- Yes!! You gogot it..
[W[Warmingng up sisinging g
TeTeddy! Yoked for.
n even n a realal Chrisistmas
What's going on over there?
Oh! I promised the gingerbread
shop the first ad in the program.
But then the Ye Olde Hot
Chocolate Shop wanted the cover!
So now they're in a bidding war!
Oh.
I better go see how high they've
gone.
Gentlemen, where are we at?
You must be so proud.
It's like a fun house mirror.
You. smaller. And prettier.
I am teaching her. She is
learning-
She is learning to control and
manipulate to get what she wants.
You say that like it's a bad
thing.
Meg?
I can't act this way.
Right is not a good angle for
me.
And Meg, won't it be... I don't know.
Relatable to just have a little baby bump.
I'm glad you are making the most
of the opportunity.
You're still stuck. Like a
beached whale.
What?
Screw you dream food.
Come on.
Where's Teddy? Where is my
Joseph?
Mia!
He locked himself in his dressing
room and he won't come out.
What?
Ugh.
Actors.
Teddy, come out of there right
now.
Teddy?
Teddy's missing. Take 10. Come
on Mia!
Teddy!
Teddy!
Teddy!
Teddy.
Hey what's going on?
Hey have you seen Teddy? He ran
away from rehearsal?
You lost your own son?
Wow! Wow! How long ago?
That's my fault? Where were you?
Where was I? I thought you had everything
under control. You know with the mayor...
I was about to tell the mayor
were...
TEDDY!
Teddy!
I'm over here.
Junior!
I'm over here!
Teddy!
Are you ok?
I was so worried about you.
Don't you ever do that again. Do
you understand me?
Don't do that again!
Yes Dad.
Alright.
Sweetheart.
Don't cry mommy. I'm sorry.
Oh no I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Do you want me to sing for you?
I like singing.
Ok let's get you home.
I'll be right there ok?
The tree.
It's really something.
I found the ornaments.
Oh yay!
Whoa.
We got that one the day Mia was
born.
Babe are you alright?
Yeah.
Here's the one with my
handprint.
Wow.
I am sure you were practically
perfect in every way.
I'm so sorry I missed it.
Mom.
Where the star for the top of
the Christmas tree?
I don't know. Help me look for
it.
Oh here it is.
Ok. Now that one right there.
That one belong to my mama.
And her mom's before her.
Wow.
Hey! Hey!
What's this?
It's an eviction notice.
I own all the woods. Including
your house.
Their set to be demolished and
sold on Christmas day.
Should have sold it to me when
you had the chance Ted.
You can't do this.
It's already done.
Wait! Ted Ted Ted!
Ted Ted! Calm down. Calm down.
Uh huh.
I'm sorry about this Ted.
It's a real shame.
There's an emergency town hall
meeting in an hour.
They'll have all the paperwork
for your perusal.
See ya in an hour.
This meeting is called to
order.
Business at hand is the change
in title of plot 89.
Also known, erroneously, i might
add,
As "Landover Wood".
That's impossible. Sam Barnes
would never allow it.
I don't believe it.
It's not possible.
The forest is the heart of this
town.
It's the simple. Un adorned
truth.
I'm selling the forest. It's
just not the same here anymore.
You all... must have noticed it
yourselves.
This town use to be a place for
neighborly folk.
But these are mean and various
times.
And who am I, to stand in the
way of what people want.
Sam, is there anything we could
do to change your mind?
I'm sorry.
It might have been a moment of
weakness.
But there's simply no going
back.
Eric this was you, wasn't it?
I put the investors together.
But this is your town. How could
you do this?
Well it was your idea. It was a
great one at that.
No.
Thank you Meg.
That's - That's...
That's...
Tell me he's lying.
Ted he misunderstood the...
Tell me destroying our home and everything we
love wasn't your idea. Tell me this right now.
Ted he misunderstood me. I had an idea
about saving the town but that's... Ted!
Ted?
I just want you to know I didn't
decide any of this.
I didn't ask for any of it. It
just happened.
You were right Meg.
You're not my wife.
Is it Christmas yet?
Not quite.
I'm just waiting up for the
jolly man.
You go back to sleep. When you wake
up you can open your gifts, ok?
ok.
I love you.
I love you too.
Can I ask you something?
Sure. What do you want to ask?
When you're gone will mommy come
back?
I sure hope so.
I know daddy wants you to act
more like mommy.
But I hope mommy acts more like
you.
I love you mama Mia.
Yep.
You know you're suppose to ride off into
the sunset, not the sunrise, right?
I'll add that to the list of
things I know nothing about.
Ok. Help me up.
Oh! That looks good.
They all look the same to me.
No no No. It's in the legs. You do
it one way you get angel robes.
You do it another way and you
get tail feathers.
It's a matter of nuance. You
care if I walk with you?
Knock yourself out.
Figured I'd escort you out of
town.
Just like that huh?
Just like that.
It's getting colder.
I warned you.
And everything you did just hurt
that boy.
Looks like you managed to cancel
Christmas after all.
Stop.
I thought you wanted perfect.
But it's not.
It's perfectly imperfect.
Meg!
So what am I suppose to do?
It's simple. You just have to
want it...
with all your heart.
The bridge will do the rest.
Hey Sal?
Please tell me he's going to be
ok.
What?
Nothing.
Are you angry at me?
I'm not angry. I'm just
disappointed.
Now get.
Hey you know what they say about
a stopped clock?
W.W.M.O.D.
I have no idea what that means.
It means I'm going to fix this.
Hi, um...
Is Eric, Mr. Mayor here?
Really?
Yes. I-I...
Yeah?
Hey.
Hey.
I have a proposition.
I thought you weren't
interested.
A financial proposition.
I'm waiting.
Ok. So your plan is to log the
forest, sell the timber, and
then sell the land back for
twice what you paid for it?
Sounds about right.
Ok perfect.
What if I told you that I can
get the town to raise the same
exact about of money and you
won't have to do a thing?
I think you are watching a few
too many movies, zuzu.
That is impossible.
Mom!
I knew you'd come back.
Well as they say, the show must
go on.
I'm sorry I just always wanted
to say that.
Ok.
Listen...
I've been all over this town
today.
And I think that we can use the
pageant to raise the money we need.
Eric has agreed to give us back the land
if we could match his buyers price, so...
The people of the town would own
the forest.
Exactly.
And at the same time it would
belong to nobody.
You know it's crazy enough it
just might work.
Look, help me fix this, ok?
And once it's over I'll go.
I just couldn't leave you like
this.
Hey if it doesn't work at least
let me give you this.
Before the business and the property lines,
the infighting ruins it all forever.
One last Christmas.
The whole town... all together.
Oh and Ted, we're gonna go back to
the original script. Your script.
Tell everyone, anyone who wants
a part can have one.
Really?
Yep. From one dying cow to
another.
Yay!
Hurry come on! We have to go!
You guys get started.
I'll met you guys there, ok?
Yeah.
I just have one thing I have to
do.
Wow. I'm getting kisses now?
Ok.
I know you were in there.
I'm sorry.
Hi.
Help you?
You're Santa.
No.
Yep.
I think... You're looking for
someone else.
And frankly, just like you I've
heard enough.
Please, this town needs a Santa.
I actually...
Haven't improved any since my
audition.
But I have.
Please?
Listen, if you won't do it for
yourself, please do it for this town.
You're just too late.
I'm almost done. How do I look?
You look beautiful. You're gonna
do great. Both of you.
Ok you're on. Go.
Silent Night
Holy Night
All is calm all is bright
Round yon virgin, mother and
child
Holy infant so tender and
mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Good job. You did great.
Thank you. That's very kind.
We don't have a Santa to end
the show.
Excuse me?
Could you be our replacement
Santa?
The costume is right there.
Wait. What are we gonna do? We
gotta fill.
Follow me.
Ok.
Ladies and gentleman please
enjoy this next treat from
our directors Ted and Meg!
Hey everybody.
Uh huh.
- What? -Come on you go it.
- What?
Hey!
Come here. Do the lift.
Ok! Ready? Whoa!
Santa! You're on.
Santa!
Hey!
A merry Christmas to all. And to
all a good night.
OkI would like to thank you so
much being here tonight.
I know that I really deserve to
ask for your anything.
But I'm hoping that between all of us we
were able to give enough to save the forest.
Sorry everyone. We didn't do it.
Oh you forgot one. Uh I have a
donation.
Old man Barnes?
Everyone deserves a second
chance. Even this old town.
We did it!
Give her the gift.
Mia, why don't you give her the
gift.
It's from all of us.
Awe!
Oh wow!
Aww it's all of us.
This is the best Christmas gift
ever!
Thank you!
Promise me one thing?
Anything.
Don't ever wake me up.
Meg?
Meg.g. Hi..
HiWake u up. Arere you o ok?
What a l latte?
Anything?
Ok. You're ok.
Oh! Wow!
I can't believe I'm about to say
this but, that was just a dream.
Well let's get you up. Come on.
Ok.
Whoa.
Here, ok let's sit you down.
Come on.
Ok I'm almost afraid to asbut is
this even still Christmas eve?
OohRa!
Right.
You know what?
I want you to lead great elf
liberation.
I'm sorry? What are you...
It's Christmas!
And even though I know you might be my family.
I'm defiantly not your family. So go.
Be free!
Wait. But what about sweaters?
And the extras?...
You know perfection is over
rated.
I'm not into it anymore.
Ok.
Oh! Wait!
What did I decide to get Frank
for Christmas?
Oh! Yeah. I was about to
messenger that off.
Umm, tickets to cirque du
soleil for him and his family.
Hmm.
Is that ok?
You told me to get whatever I
most wanted, so I...
You take them! They're yours!
Merry Christmas!
Go bring your family and have a
great time.
Really?
Mmhm!
But what about Frank?
I have a better Idea for Frank.
Uh thank you!
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas.
Merrytmas.
Can I help you?
Would you like to come in? It's Christmas
eve. No body should be alone on Christmas.
Oh that's ok. I don't want to
intrude on you and your husband.
Oh no. No body is intruding.
Come on in. get some nog.
Hey everybody. We got some
company.
Meg Waters.
Holy Cow!
Wow.
Oh my...
Meg Waters is in my house.
Wait. Wait. Wait. You two know
each other?
Yeah well she's not gonna
remember me but in college...
Show tune Ted.
Are you kidding me?
You totally remember me.
Of course I do.
Oh my gosh!
What the?
Wow. I-I can't even begin to tell
you how good it is to see you.
But I'm sorry I know you're here
with your wife and kids, so...
Oh no, these aren't my kids.
These are my nieces. I mean they're cute.
That's my sister right there.
Oh!
And uh, that's her husband.
Oh!
Dale.
Hi.
Nice to meet you.
So good to meet you.
Kids why don't we uh, let uncle Ted
and his guest have some space.
Yeah that's a good idea.
Come on babe.
You want to sit down?
Yes thank you.
It's incredible. I can't believe you're
here. What-I can't believe you're here.
Oh oh, I can't believe...
Who's that?
Oh that's my mom. She passed
away when I was a baby.
But every Christmas is like
she's watching over me. It's...
I believe she is.
I don't wanna sound like I'm not happy
you're here. I'm over the moon you're here.
But uh... why are you here?
Well...
Oh my... I know I know, I made
this!
I made this globe!
It's really badly broken but I
can fix this for you.
I believe you can.
You can fix anything.
Hurry up dad. I wanna open my
presents.
Calm down son.
Just let me hand my mom's star.
See.
It's like she's watching over
us.
Perfect.
Wow! What was that for?
Aww I saw the mistletoe you put
up...
What mistletoe are you talking about babe?
I didn't put any mistletoe up.
Just shut up and kiss me.
Finally.
Now it's perfect.