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A Thousand and One Nights (1945)
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Here me speak there's a chance for each man and sheik Come bid we have beauty for sale Things that are made from India I've received charmers from Muskovich Luscious ladies from Syria Benji dancers from Arabia Ahh! Ahh! Un-uh! Go on pal, I was only kidding! Go on, help yourself! Well, give me some skin Jack! Zoot! -What strange manner of speech is that? -Shhhh! -That's Abdullah the touched one. He claims he was born some 1,200 years before his time. There he lives as rare as wine (WHISTLING) Hmmm. I could have sworn that was Lana Turner. There is really a slick chick. Here me misters tell me What say you now? Here's your chance to peer behind every veil The time is nigh For you to buy Beauty for sale! Well done Aladdin of Cathay! I should not want for crowds if you would betarry here! I sing for the joy of it. Behold my masters! The slave auction is about to begin. Before you are women to intoxicate your souls and delight your senses. Here my lords, are the almond-eyed beauties of India. Abdullah! What am I going to do with you? Last night you promised me -you'd never touch another gold piece. -Gold piece? What gold piece? Aladdin I'm surprised at you, especially since I gave you my word. You don't think I'd go back on my word, do you? Oh no! How could I think that? Now, just the same, you give that merchant back his gold chain! Aladdin! You're hurting me! What chain? My chain! My chain has been stolen! -That one. -Oh, that one? -My purse! It's gone! -My chain! Thieves! He! He was standing beside me! Help! I've been robbed! Police! -That man! -That very same dog that jostled me. He's the thief! Oh, no. It wasn't me. It was Limpy. Limpy? Who is Limpy? You know Limpy. He walks like this. And other times he walks like this. -My chain! -My purse! Seize him! ANNOUNCER: Clear the streets for the Princess! GUARD: Clear the streets I say! We'll have your eyes put out for gazing upon the Sultan's daughter. GUARD #2: You heard the Captain, dogs! Clear the streets for the Princess. No man may gaze upon the Princess and live! (MARCHING BAND PLAYING) GUARD: How dare you delay the Princess! Do you want to be torn limb from limb? Clear the streets! Clear the streets! No man may gaze upon the Princess Armina and live. Could a woman be as beautiful as that? -No guy has been crazy enough to find out. -Crazy? A beautiful face that no man has ever seen? To look upon it would be worth the risk of death. Yeah, but after you're dead, who you gonna tell it to? -Hey, where you going? -I'm crazy! Aladdin, now stop! -Please, I beg of you. -Who are you? Why do you enter here? Perhaps destiny has decreed it, my lady. PRINCESS: Then we shall see what else destiny has in store for you. Please. First hear me, then summon your guard and let them dry my torn limbs in the sun. Have no fear for your limbs. They will not be harmed. -My lady is gracious. -Because my guards will strike off your head! You don't think it's a sad thing that one so young should lose his life? -I do not plead for my head Princess! -Then for what? For that which I placed it in jeopardy. The sight of your face. -You are mad! -Other men seek heaven after death but I would look upon heaven before I die. -Who are you? -I am called Aladdin of Cathay. I seek the beautiful that I may sing of it to the world. Lying upon the desert sands at night, I've reached up to touch the stars. The music of the river, I have sung with my lips. These things are my treasures. They did not hide their loveliness from me. Unveil to me, my lady. It matters not what happens to me thereafter. Unveil to me. Resume march! We've entered the palace grounds. Now what will you do? What I've wanted to do since I first saw your face. Aladdin! You'll be sorry! Oh, hi. Just looking around. Your Highness? The Sultan awaits you in his chambers. I said your father wishes to see you, my lady. The tissues have completely knitted, my lord. Only the scar remains. No treatment can ever remove that. The scar is of no importance. Tell me, you were a little worried about me, for a time? You lost much blood, my Sultan. The traitors came close to success. Too close. Your Highness. -How is your rebellious patient today, doctor? -I'm rejoiced to report my Sultan is fully recovered. You look very radiant today, my child. I've never seen such color in your cheeks. Oh, it's just the fresh air, I think. -Father? -Yes? Your arm. It has left a bad scar. Yes, the last memento from my loving twin brother, Hadji. This arm warded off a blow that was meant to kill me. I sometimes think I should not have listened to your feelings my child. When I set Hadji free I gave him the opportunity to plot another conspiracy. -One that might succeed. -From exile? Oh, I wouldn't worry. His fangs have been drawn. I don't know. I still have a feeling we've not heard the last from Hadji. But you could not have put him to death with the other conspirators. -He was your own brother. -True, but that didn't prevent his trying to kill me. Father? -Mhmm? Do you think I'm really beautiful? -Help yourself, do you mind? -How dare you! Don't call the guard! When I showed them the seal you gave me, they brought me here. Prince Hadji? Good disguise, isn't it? You're insane to return. Suppose you were discovered? That isn't very likely. Why, even you didn't recognize me. You must leave at once. To be captured here means your death! That isn't what worries you is it, Hassan? You're afraid they may discover the part you played in the conspiracy. -Prince Hadji. -Mhmm? Understand once and for all. I intend to take no part in any further intrigues. How is my niece? The delectable Armina. -Your Highness is well. -Do you still worship her from a distance? -Is it necessary to discuss that? -It might be just as well. Tell me, has her father ever looked upon you with approval as a son-in-law? -You know he hasn't. -Now, if I were Sultan, it might be a different story. Well look at me Hassan. Can you tell the difference between myself and the Sultan? It is no secret that you and your brother are twins. Therefore, if I were to take his place, no one would know. What is your scheme this time? One that cannot fail. Now listen to me carefully if you wish to marry the Princess. When next the Sultan is at prayer, our opportunity will present itself. We will take him prisoner and confine him to the palace at alpha, in the dungeon. (PRAYER MUSIC) There, I said it would be simple. Now all I have to do is change clothes with him. -It would be safer to kill him now. -Fool! Only he knows of state affairs that may arise when I take his place. Here is a dead man that will talk when I have need of him. -Now Hadji is Sultan, and who is wiser? -I am. -Why, of course you are. -Merely a reminder, do not forget your promise. Rest assured. Is it not remarkable what man will do for power? And love. (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) Oh you seem sad, your Highness. The dancer does not amuse you? Not tonight, Novira. Dismiss her. Is there anything else my lady wishes? Tonight I might wish that I were anyone in the world but a Sultan's daughter. But why, Highness? Because my slaves enjoy more freedom than a princess can ever know. I've never known my lady to pine for freedom before. Why is it so desirable tonight? Because tonight I would touch a star with my fingers. I walk the streets unattended. I would peer into the bazaars like a brazen woman. My lady. Perhaps I would visit the market square where the singers are. -Novira? -Yes, My lady. Have you ever heard of one called Aladdin of Cathay? Oh, but of course I have. His love songs are legend throughout the east. Why, I've been told of girls who stood in bazaars all day just to hear him. Have you indeed? Nor is that all. It is said in the market place that maids have even lifted their veils to him. I can't believe my eyes the way they dare to behold you -You may go, Novira. -Yes, Your Highness. The way they dare to unfold you I can't believe that I hear music when you are near I'm so afraid that any moment you'll disappear Oh, can these be your eyes or stars the heavens are missing? These cannot be your lips These fragrant rolls I am kissing. I'm so bewildered by your beauty and beauty never lies -Beautiful song, eh captain? -The princess has a lovely baritone. Baritone? Believe my love So the Princess Armina is to be wooed as you would any common girl in the market place? The market place? What have they to do with you? If a man has once gazed upon the great blue sea can a drop of water have meaning to him afterwards? You care not how much you shame me, do you? I was not enough that you entered my litter and that I unveiled to you. Not enough that I suffered you to steal a kiss like any thief. Now you must into my garden... cheapening with the talk you would give to a maid in a wine shop. -My Lady... -I suppose I'm not the first one to believe your words because they were pleasing to hear. Now go back to the bazaars and boast of it. Armina, believe in your pride that every word I spoke was a separate lie. Until I beheld your face. Then they became the truest things man has ever said to woman. Please go. If you were discovered here you would die. -Would you care? -I would not wish anyone to die because of me. -Armina... -Why do you not go? Because you don't want me to go. Because you've dreamt of a vagabond's arms about you. Because you would forget that you're a sultan's daughter. And remember above all else that you're a woman. If you do not go, this time I will call the guards. Are you that afraid? -Afraid, of you? -No, of yourself. Afraid that I'll make you step down from that pedestal on which you've always been so safe and protected. Afraid that you may really live for a while. Please go. Please. Call out the guards! -Bring out the guards! -Guards! -Hurry, over the wall. -Seize him! Take him before the Grand Wazir. We found this vagabond in the garden, my lord. He was annoying the princess. -Annoying the princess? -That's a matter of opinion. -Who is he? -Who are you? I'm not talking to you. Let him ask me. A cool rogue. Well, who are you? Aladdin of Cathay. Who are you? Abu Has... That does not concern you. Do you realize the penalty for casting your eyes upon the princess? I realize it well. A man is stricken with joy and delight at the wondrous beauty of Her Highness. A severe penalty, but well worth it. Take him to the dungeon. He shall hang at the rise of the sun. -Oh, Captain. -My Lord. Post a double guard outside the Sultan's door. He does not wish to be disturbed. No one is to see him. -Do you understand, Captain? No one. -I hear and obey. -What is the meaning of this? Let me pass. -I'm sorry, Highness. The Sultan left strict orders that he is not to be disturbed. Fool, those orders do not apply to his daughter. -Stand aside. -We are dust under your feet, Highness. But the Sultan's orders are that no one shall enter. -But I... -I dare not disobey the Sultan's command, Highness. It would mean my death. Abdullah, what are you doing here? What am I doing here? I came to get out of the sun. They threw me in here. This is a jail, remember? Your Highness, please tell us all about it. Leave me alone. All of you leave me alone. What happened, your Highness? The Wazir was rude to me. The Sultan wouldn't see me. Now they're going to hang Aladdin. Well, they haven't hanged him yet, your Highness. -Captain Kahim has taken him to the dungeon. -The dungeon? -Novira, can we not do something? -I wish we could. Yes, there may be something I can do. Captain Kahim is always telling me how pretty he thinks I am. Not that one. He's saving those. Any dummy can see he's saving aces. Try to help people. Leave it! What do you need it for, it's only gonna loss up your hand. Just listen to me and you'll blitz him. I can see he doesn't save anything over a six. -Be silent, gallows bait. -Yes, be silent. What do you mean, be silent? That's no way to talk to a kibitzer. And what are you yelling at? I'm trying to help you. Yes, but look what you're doing to me. You're all mixed up, "I don't know what to throw." You wouldn't listen to me. People, I play this game. Don't let me interrupt the game, captain. I came but to behold the horrible monster who molested the princess. Look your fill, little one. He gave me a valiant fight. But finally I overpowered him. Kahim, you are braver than the lion and the eagle. It was a trifle. I would do much more for you. Hey stupid, stop drooling. You can use that. -The cards. -Oh. What kind of game is that? The barbarians play it in some distant land. Sinbad picked it up during his travels. They call it Gin Rummy. Would you teach me to play when you're relieved from duty? Yes, as soon as I have stretched a rope I shall await you in the courtyard within the hour, my little bird. I shall languish until then. They cannot seem to resist you, my captain. You always did have an attraction for the ladies. Oh, some chase me from time to time. Hey, Casanova, not that one. A little bigger. A little bigger. You're getting warm. A little bigger. That's it. Play it. Play it. Would you listen to me. It's the safest card in your hand, play it. Will you hold your tongue? Wise guy who wouldn't listen, huh? Everybody plays this game. I'd like to have you on a slow camel to Egypt. What are you thinking about? Let me ask you something. What do you need this card for? Can you give a reason. Why do you need this card? Get rid of it. He don't need it. Believe me, he don't need it. He's speculating. What are you doing? Take that. Now get rid of the six. Be gone, you insect. I said be gone. Do you hear? Depart. Still say you should have got rid of the six. I guess he was right. Here's the six. Gin! By my father's beard. Gin! Hey, the prisoners! -Call out the guards! -Call out the guards! Two horses are beyond the wall. I'll never forget this as long as I live. That won't be long if we don't hurry up. Come on. Mount the horses, the prisoners have escaped! Mount the horses, the prisoners have escaped! Surround the palace. We can hide in here. That was a close shave. We'll rest here until it's safe. Then we'll be on our way. Aladdin, look. The man who didn't come to dinner. Don't tell me the thing has relatives. -Aladdin of Cathay? -Who are you? I am Kofir, the sorcerer. Why Aladdin, do you pursue the princess? -How do you know of her? -Kofir knows many things. If ever you would behold your princess again... walk this way. -I think I'll walk this way. -The man said this way. Gaze into the crystal. It will tell you much. Gaze into it and time and distance will melt away. Behold. -Armina. -Exactly. Trouble and deceit surround her on every side. Evil broods over the palace of the Sultan. But the princess weeps not for that. her tears are for you. -Will I ever see her again? -More than that. Do as I advise and you shall marry her. How do I know you speak the truth, sorcerer? Have you not beheld her weeping for you? -The crystal does not lie. -Yeah, it's a fake. -You disbelieve it? -I'm strictly a tea-leaf man. Boy, what a sweet technique that guy has got. Did you notice how... That's me! This guy has run into television and don't know it. -To marry the princess what must I do? -Here in this very mountain is a magic power through which all things are possible. But he who seeks it must have the courage of youth. Not even the crystal can give me that. It is a quest so dangerous that is would freeze the blood of a coward. That me, brother, a coward. Come on, Aladdin, let's get out of here. -What is this magic power? -Look upon. That's only an old lamp. Yes, but it's more powerful than all the forces of nature. Even though you are of the gutter, born and bred, the princess would be yours forever. Where can we find this lamp? -Come. -What do you mean we? I'm not interested. Look, I'll steal you a lamp. Hello? Hello? Nobody home. Come on, let's go. Last warning... the grotto is alive with strange and terrible dangers. Go with caution. Exactly where is the lamp? It awaits you on a shelf of rock beyond the last grotto. Remember, one unguarded moment may cost your lives. Aladdin, why won't you listen? All right, don't push. Don't be such an eager beaver. I'm going. Watch that pushing, will you buddy? Aladdin! Come on. Bread and butter. I thought that sorcerer said this place was dangerous. We haven't finished our journey yet. Phony, it's a cinch. In fact, it's just a breeze. -What was that? -A subterranean draft of some kind. I could swear that draft had garlic on it. I got the darndest feeling that somebody is watching us. Nonsense. No human being could live in a place like this. Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. Look, the light comes from the other end of the tunnel. I tell ya, I got a feeling that we're not alone. I get these feelings, honestly I do. You never got anything honestly. Well these goose pimples are my own. Aladdin, look! -Look at what? -Right there. At the end of the tunnel. There's nothing there. I'm telling you I saw it and I think it saw me. Your imagination is playing tricks on you. Come on, it can't be much farther. There it is, the lamp. Rest yourself, Abdullah. Boy these wedges are killing me. How are you? Isn't marvelous what a guy will go through for a dame. You see we were... Ah, ha, ha, ha! Come back here! (LAUGHING EVILLY) (LAUGHING) Ow! Come back here. Come back here! -I don't see the opening. -This looks like the place we started from. Aladdin of Cathay? That's the sorcerer's voice. He's closed of the entrance. I knew we shouldn't trust that guy. Speak Aladdin. Have you the lamp? Yes, let us out of here. In good time. First, push the lamp through to me. What's with him? He says we must give him the lamp before he'll release us. Give it to him. Come on, let's get out of here. -Come on, give it to him. -No. He wants it far too much. If I give it to him now, he may never let us out. You hear me? Push the lamp through. How do I know you'll release us? Let us out of here first. So you don't trust me. Why should I share the lamp with you? I've waited all these years for it, I can wait a little longer. Stay there and die of hunger, you fools. Stay there and rot. Stay here and rot. I knew I should've given that icky a mickey. You and your great ideas and I must be daffy for listening to you. Magic powers. I get mixed up with... Maybe there's magic in this cornerstone. Open sesame. Abracadabra. (BLABBERING) Doesn't work. Magic powers, huh. I'll show you what I think of magic powers. Wait. This must have great value. There must be something about it. Are you kidding? Why do I listen to you? The things you get me into. This is the end. Stuck here forever. I'm tired. I'm cold and sleepy. Hey you! I'm not guilty. I was framed. -What's the matter? -I heard a woman calling. A woman... You're not gonna start that again, are you? Go on, get some sleep. What's the matter, are you deaf? Look, down here. Well, hello handsome. I'd like to get out of here. Give the lamp a rub, will you? Know o' master that I am a slave of the land of Nador. You're the only one who can see me, and I'm yours to command at all things. Ask and it shall be given. Command and it shall be done. That takes care of everything. I don't understand. -Who are you? -Why, I'm a genie. -A genie? -Sure. -Haven't you ever read Arabian Nights? -Oh, yes. -But you're human. -I'll say I am. And you have no idea how long it's been since I've seen a man. -Abdullah... -No, don't awaken him. It won't do any good. Only you can see me. -Or hear me. -Wait a minute. Why can I see you if he can't? Well, because only you are the possessor of the lamp. And no one but the possessor of the lamp has the power to see me. So it is magic. The sorcerer was telling the truth. And if there's anything you want... -You mean, all I have to do is ask for it? -That's what the rules say. I bid you to free us from this grotto. I hope it wasn't too fast for you. Boy, you are wonderful. You're not bad yourself. I'm going to enjoy working for you, boss dear. Aladdin, what happened? Can you always do things like that? Just like that. I'll do even better. Now that my heart's in it. -Hey, who you talking to? -The young lady. What young lady? Oh, I forgot. You can't see her. No, this is no time to be playing jokes, either. You see, I can see her because I'm the possessor of the lamp. She's standing right here beside me. Sure she is kid. You know, you're very pretty. Why don't you hit your head on a rock? Maybe she'll go away. -I tell you, she's right here. -This is worse than I thought. Why don't you lie down for a while and maybe I'll find something to tie you with. How do you think we got out of the grotto. This girl is a genie. -Yeah, I'll tell him when he comes in. -Who is this character? Excuse me. Abdullah, an old friend of mine. -Stop it, will you? -Is there no way I can convince him you're here? Well, you can try. You're my new boss and you can have anything you want. -She says I can have anything I want. You name it. -This is great. Wait... Tell her I want a banquet table just covered with food. -And some wine too. -Would you mind? One banquet table coming up. As long as we're dreaming I want some chicken. That's what I like, chicken. Lots of chicken, and get me some pastrami. Hot, if you don't mind. And get me some carrots. Good for my eyes, you know. And soup. Hey Aladdin, that's what I like, soup. Some hot soup. Huh, get me some soup. Well, I'm waiting. -Waiting for what? -Waiting for what... Didn't you promise me a banquet table with soup and... Now I'll believe anything. Thanks, Miss Genie. Waldorf Astoria, not bad. You've really been very kind Miss... I didn't get your name. -You can just call me Babs, boss dear. -Babs? -Babs, a worthy name. -Thank you. You sure there's nothing else that you want? All you have to do is name it. There is only one thing in the world that I really want... -What's that? -The hand of the princess in marriage. Well, how do you like that? You mean you've already got a girl? I haven't got her, but I'm trying. Well a gentleman would have at least given me a chance to get started. -What's she saying? -She's angry. I think she likes me. Well it figures. She's a dame, ain't she? Who is this princess? The daughter of the Sultan. Isn't there something you can do? Yeah, I can always poison her coffee. But you said you'd do anything I asked. -Well sure, I have to whether I want to or not. -Well then? Look handsome, I can give you the material things like money, slaves and palaces. But where love is concerned... The lamp doesn't give any control over the human heart. I can't even control my own. I could get you into the palace as a prince, with all the splendor that goes with being a prince. Why don't you stay on your own side of the tracks? Hey, what's cooking with you two? We're going back to the palace. -The palace? -Yes, the palace. And I, Aladdin, the street singer will ask for the hand of the princess in marriage. Why not, Abdullah? Why shouldn't I? Because there's a guy waiting with a big fat rope to put around our necks. Aladdin, don't do it. Please, miss Genie, don't let him do it. Fear not, by the time the Babs has done her work, not even the princess will recognize me. One more thing, boss dear, before we get started. -I must warn you. Be very careful with the lamp. -I won't drop it. -Don't let anybody else get his hands on it. -Why? If somebody did, everything the lamp had given you would be gone in a flash. Hey, what's the pixie saying now? -A stranger mustn't get hold of the lamp. -Tell her to watch it. (BOTH TALKING SIMULTANEOUSLY) Just a minute, the lady is talking. Where are your manners? What do you mean, where's my manners? What I'm uncouth. You think I'm illiterate. I don't know when she's talking. Tip a guy off. Snap your fingers. -You were saying? -You'd be right back where you started. And I wouldn't like to lose you. You're a swell boss. I hope you'll be happy with me and don't worry about the lamp. -I'll be careful. -I'll arrange for everything you need, look. Hey, look at me. I'm a glamor boy, hey. Hello, Silver. Shall we hi-ho? That's a good one, huh? I wish that dame in Baghdad could see me now. -Why, you're wonderful! -I have my moments. But this is one time my heart isn't in it. The one thing I need now is a new name, something very impressive! A new name, um, how about Anloo Shan, Prince of Hindustan? Anloo Shan. Abdullah, how do you like this for my new name, Anloo Shan? Anloo Shan. Yeah, I like it. Sounds like nature spelled sideways. Ha! (CLARION CALLING) We hang upon your words, mighty prince. Make haste to the palace of the Sultan. Inform him that Anloo Shan, Prince of Hindustan comes bearing gifts and to sue for the hand of the princess. We hear and obey. What's this princess got that I haven't got? Babs, if I weren't already in love, I would be now. -I'll break that up, don't worry. -What did you say? Oh, nothing, uh, let's hurry! Gone. Did you find out anything Novira? Who is he? He's called Anloo Shan your Highness, a noble prince of Hindustan. He comes to ask your hand. I shall refuse to see him. The Sultan can do the honors alone. The prince will be offended, Highness. I understand he brings you priceless gifts, jewels that will take your breath away. And my hand with it, I suppose? He may keep his gifts. Surely you plan to marry someday? Not without love. The prince will court you in vain, my lady. It is Aladdin you love. Yes. But we will never meet again. We deliver a message, Lord of the World. The Sultan will be honored by your gifts. -He is eager to receive you. He awaits you now. -It is well. You are thrice welcome, Prince Anloo Shan. I'm sure your priceless gifts will dazzle my unworthy eyes. Look out for this guy. I don't trust him. The gifts are but a poor offering, your Majesty. They cost me nothing. I'm honored that you have condescended to receive me. And I don't like this character any better. Babs, be quiet. I beg your pardon? I said it's very quiet in here. The east wing of the palace has been prepared for you illustrious prince. I hope it will please you. I'm sure it will please me more than my own east wing. We favor your suit, my Lord, and are honored by it. When we dine this night the princess shall sit at your right hand. My left will be jealous. I long to look upon the beauty of the princess again. You've seen her before? Uh, I can dream, can I not? -Ha, ha, ha! Oh brother, is this from hunger. (WHISTLES) Captain! Conduct our noble guest to his quarters. Make certain that his every wish is fulfilled. -Don't worry me with a little thing like that! -But you promised! -You promised that the princess was to marry me! -That's right. I think I've changed my mind. I should have known you keep promises only when it suits you. Mhmm, and now it suits me to choose a son-in-law with money bags. And how would it suit you if I were to tell him you are not the Sultan? You forget who is in power. -You forget what I know. -Cultivate a discreet tongue, Hassan. Or I shall be forced to tear it out by the roots. (BELLS AND MUSIC PLAYING) That's what I like, an old-fashioned waltz. Love it, love it! You know how she gets this way? Watching too many ping pong games. Ha! By George, that was a good one, huh? Ha, ha, ha! I hope our dancers meet with your approval, my Lord? Indeed, they are excellent your Majesty. It is strange, this feeling that we have met before. It's amazing! I have the same feeling. Perhaps it is that you remind me of someone I know. I hope not. That is, well, every man likes to imagine that he is different. -Forgive me for staring, my lord. -Forgive me for staring lord. -For this I came out of the lamp? -Be silent. -Did you say "be silent", my lord? -Yes, to my impatient heart. -Wait till I see you alone! -What did you say? I said I can hardly wait till I can see you alone. Look boss dear, you're making a big mistake. She wants no part of you. All right, I'll go. But you better make it good because I'll be listening in. Your face does look familiar. This courtship does not seem to please you. No doubt you'd rather be with someone else. My wishes in the matter are of no importance. They're of more importance to me than you can imagine. I shall marry no woman against her will. Why do you object to me as a husband? Oh, I do not object. But I have no wish to be married yet. My lady I suspect there is someone else. Some handsome irresistible man one who has swept you off your feet? And that's why you didn't wish to appear tonight. Am I right? -I'm sorry my lord. -Oh no! Not at all! You should marry no one but this wonderful man you love. Ruff, ruff! Ha, ha, ha! (WHISTLES) I beg your pardon, my lord? You didn't get these on credit, did you? -To what are you referring? -This razzle dazzle you're wearing. They were a gift from the Sultan for faithful services. -I'm flattered that you admire them. -Oh, yes I do! Abdullah! Uh, wouldn't you like something else, to eat? I like your lid too. It's really groovy. Say, are you familiar with galloping dominoes? Faithful service, eh? Don't fence me in. Come here. Well, where's the blond bombshell? She returned to the harem. She'll have nothing to do with me. -Then why are you so happy? -That's the reason. I don't get it. Don't you see? This proves she loves Aladdin the vagabond. -Oh boss, dear, do you really believe that? -Of course. Babs, I must see the princess alone. You've got to get me into the harem. Now you're asking too much. Don't you know that men aren't allowed in the harem? Well, couldn't you change me into some other form, perhaps? I could change you into a very beautiful hand maiden. Yes, a hand maiden, that would... Oh, wait a minute! No, no thank you. Do you have any better ideas? Well, if I can't be a man, how about a mouse? No. A cat might get me. Some other kind of animal, maybe? Well, I could make a monkey out of you. That's no trick. Any girl can do that. Babs, I don't care how you do it, but please get me into the harem. All right, you asked for it. There you are, Rover. Hope I didn't forget anything. Do you wish me to go with you into the garden tonight, your Highness? No. I shall go alone. It was in the garden that I last saw Aladdin. Where does this dog come from? He's not of this palace your Highness. He must belong to Prince Anloo Shan. Prince Anloo Shan? If I could but tell your master that I cannot give him my heart. It is only for Aladdin. Your bath is ready my lady. You know something? I think the three of us are loaded. Faithful service. Ha, ha, ha! What have you done? What have you done? Looks better on you than it does on that silly visage anyway. -Stealing again? -What do you mean stealing? I didn't switch dice in the moonlight. I played him fair and square. I don't have to switch... Aladdin? Where are you? Aladdin? I heard you say the dice were loaded. I said they were loaded? That's all brother! Babs, change me back. I'm meeting the princess in the garden. One of these days I'm going to put the end of it sign on that dame. Why so rough? I won't need you anymore tonight. I can't fail now. She loves me. Please, Babs, won't you wish me luck? I can't boss dear. -There's one thing you've never learned about love. -What's that? It's no fun losing. (MAN HUMMING) When you are near I'm so afraid at any moment You'll disappear Aladdin! I needed a song to tell you who I really am. I do not understand. I'm wooed by a vagabond and suddenly he becomes a prince? -What does it mean? -That when you're in love anything is possible. A line like that and she falls for it! Now I understand. You always were Prince Anloo Shan. Aladdin the vagabond was only a disguise. -Does it matter who I am Armina? -I love you whoever you are. -Then, you will marry me? -Yes, and at once. I'll tell Father. Will you wait here? Now I've heard everything. Now why don't you be a good little genie and stop eavesdropping. You oughtta be ashamed of yourself. So should you. Boy, were you corny. Now, perhaps you'll admit you were wrong. You heard she said she's going to marry me. Oh yeah? Over my dead body. If you don't behave yourself that can be arranged. How do you expect to stop my marriage anyway? That's a trade secret. But from now on, anything goes. New lamps for all! New lamps for old! I can't believe my eyes The way they dare to behold you You're pretty happy for a guy who's just going to get married. Marriage is a wonderful thing, Abdullah. -You should pick yourself a bride. -Thanks a lot. I'd rather pick pockets if you don't mind. You look sharp as a blade, yeah man! You really look fine! Babs really out-did herself with this one, didn't she? Say, where is the gremlin? Is she still carrying a torch for you? Yes. I'll have to do something about that. If only I could get her to fall in love with somebody else? What are you looking at me for? -It just occurred to me... -Oh no, pal. You see, the trouble with me is, I usually like to see who I'm making love to. No, that's not the trouble. Abdullah, the trouble is she can see you. -You fool you! -Ha, ha, ha! The wedding ceremony is about to begin, my lord. She's not going to have him! She's not. I'll break up this wedding if it's the last thing I ever do. New lamps for old! The bargain of the ages! New lamps for old! New lamps for old! A fair exchange, my masters! Who will give an old lamp for a new one? New lamps for old! New lamps for old! I warned him. He wouldn't listen. She'll never have him now. Never! Don't you hear what he's saying? Throw it down to him! Throw it down! New lamps for old! A fair exchange, my masters! Give it to him you dope! Give it to him! New lamps for old! Throw it down! Now you're getting it. Old man, wait a minute. Here's an old lamp. What is the meaning of this? Babs? Babs? It's that dame, she double crossed us! Will someone explain this mystery to me? Well you see, father... -He's no prince, my lord, I recognize him now. -So do I. He's a vagabond, Aladdin of Cathay. And he's just a pickpocket! What do you mean just a pickpocket? I was one of the... -Seize them! -Seize them! Take the route to the courtyard and stretch their necks. I will obey, it shall be done. Bring him to the courtyard! -Father, won't you... -These men are purveyors of black magic. -They must hang. -But father! Return to your chambers at once. This is judgment upon you for your broken promise. Now will you keep your word? Very well, very well, you may marry the princess. If she'll have you. If she'll have me? Then may I proceed in my own way? As you like. This visit is indeed an honor, your Highness. But not a surprise. You know why I have come. Because your father will not listen to your plea. Yes my lady. I know what it is to love. Then you will help me. The man shall go free. When I have your promise that you will marry me. Does it surprise you that I dare raise my eyes to someone above my station? Or is that a privilege reserved only for vagabonds? I will never marry you. That's a pity. -You must stop them! -Oh, you can stop them, my lady. If you love him, you will not hesitate. Very well. Only, call to them. -Quickly. -Not that quickly. First, your promise. You have my word. Halt! Bring the prisoners to my chambers at once! This Aladdin shall be the first to hear of our betrothal. You will tell him yourself. I have given my word, is that not enough? No. If you are to become my bride this man must forget about you completely. Compose yourself my dear, they are here. Armina! -Armina, I... -Silence. Her Highness has something to say to you. You were brought here by request. My father's graciously consented to spare your life. Because of you? Hardly. I was once foolish enough to accept you as an equal. Now, all that is over. If you ever attempt to see me again, I shall turn you over to the guards myself. Is that clear? How do you like that? It's the royal brushoff. You forced her into this! You take a great deal of convincing, young man. Tell him, my dear. Tomorrow I shall marry the Grand Wazir. Come on pal, this is where we get off. See that these men leave the city before the morning prayer. Aladdin. You did very well, Armina. Why spoil it? Oh, Aladdin, why don't you find yourself a new tomato and forget about her royal nibs. Come, Aladdin, drown out your sorrows with a song. (MAN YELLING) A song! A song! (MEN YELLING) A song! A song! -A song! A song! -Sing us a song, Aladdin! I'll sing you a song and unburden my mind For I have discovered, love is unkind Unfaithful, unworthy, deceitful I say This vow, I have taken today No more women, not for me Women just bring misery If I lie, hang me from the highest tree No more women for me (ALL) No more women! Not for me! (ALL) Women just bring misery! If I lie, hang me from the highest tree! (ALL) No more women for me! Aladdin is sad, with a torch on his mind He thinks love's unfaithful, cruel and unkind Women will kill you, he wants to imply I have to admit it, but what a beautiful way to die I love women, they're for me! From sweet 16 to 63 If I lie, tie me to an olive tree with a woman on each side of me! (ALL) With a woman, on each side of me! Abdullah is mad, a babbling buffoon His heart's like a feather, brains like a loon When I want a thrill, give me fighting and wine On romance I now draw the line (ALL) No more women! Not for me! Women just bring misery! If I lie, cast me in the deep blue sea No more women for me! (ALL) No more women for me! He calls me buffoon! You think I should sue? I'll take him to court, till I get what's due If loving a woman is only a quirk Can I help it? I like that kind of work I like big ones, small ones, short ones tall ones, good ones, bad ones, gay ones, sad ones, sleepy ones, and creepy ones, creamy ones, and dreamy ones, lazy ones, and crazy ones! I don't care what kind of ones! Women! Women! I want women! I want women! Hey women! (BARKING) (HOWLING) Be gone with his racket and row Again, I repeat my vow No more women! Send 'em to me, hey? Women just bring... Joy to me, hey! If I lie, cast me in the deep blue sea! With a mermaid on each side of me! (ALL) No more women! I think they're groovy. (ALL) No more women! Groovy like a movie! (ALL) No more women! Kill me. I like 'em (ALL) For me! I like 'em. (LAUGHTER) Aladdin. I've searched everywhere for you. -Why? -I was afraid you were leaving the city. We are. At sun up we join a caravan bound for India. -But the princess. -I don't know any princess! -Listen you fool, she doesn't love the Wazir. -Ha! She promised to marry him only to save your life. How do you know this? He released you from the gallows when she promised to marry him. So that was the reason. Oh, for this I love you! If I get the lamp back you shall have a chest full of diamonds! Hey, the lamp, you're not gonna start that again! I must! Only the lamp can help us now. What does the lamp have to do with this? Everything, it contains magic powers. -I left it in my chambers at the palace! -Oh... Something wrong? I gave it to an old peddler in the street. He was offering new lamps for old ones. New lamps for... -Kofir the sorcerer! -It must be. Go back to the palace, leave everything to us. The wedding takes place after the second call to prayer. You must hurry. I will! No sign of him anywhere. He's probably out riding a broom. -The crystal. -Yeah, maybe we can get a good tip on a camel in Baghdad. Was only asking. Where can he be? Look! I've seen that place before. That's the tavern we just came from. -What does it mean? -We'll find out soon enough. Yes, yes! An old man with evil eyes. A nose you could cut bread with. -Ahh, yes. You mean Kofir the sorcerer. -Yes! He came here only yesterday. Well, where is he? -He arrived shaking with excitement. -Where is he now? Yonder, in back of my garden. -Thanks a lot! -Wait! -We buried him only an hour ago. -What! Buried him? As I say, he was greatly excited. No sooner had he taken to his room than he had a stroke. And he died a few minutes later. Hmm. What a ghost he'll make. Tell me, friend, did he have an old lamp in his possession? -A lamp? Lamp... -A copper lamp! -Ah, yes! I remember, it was among his affects. -Where is it? Ahh, I gave it to one of my children. Let me see, which one... Ahh, yes. I remember. Salim! Ah! The lamp your father gave you, I want to buy it. A camel driver gave me some sugar for it. A camel driver? Where is he? He left the tavern about an hour ago. -Well, quick, which way did he go? -He took the south road. Thanks, sonny. Are you the driver who got a lamp from the tavern keeper's son? I am. What's amiss friend? It was a fair bargain. Yes, yes, we know. We just want to buy the lamp from you. Name your price. Name your price? For that old lamp? Well, you don't understand. It's a family heirloom which means much to us. Yes, you see, grandmother used to place it in the window to help grandfather find his way home every night. Oh, your grandfather, he was blind? Six nights out of seven. You touch me very deeply, friends. It would give me great pleasure to return it to you. -The pleasure would be ours. -I know how it is. Am I not a sentimental man myself? Well, I'm sure you are. I had a grandmother myself. A fine woman. I'm sure she was. Now, about the lamp. When I was a small child, she used to hold me on her knee and bath me with scented oils and perfumes. You haven't seen your grandmother lately, have you? My grandmother was a beautiful woman. She had a wonderful voice. Every night she would sing me to sleep with her sweet, soft, soothing voice. (SINGING LOUDLY) (SPITS) Don't like my grandmother's voice? I see what you mean. So we'll give you five dinars and be on our way. Five di... That is a very handsome sum. But I could not dream of taking so much for it. All right, we'll give you three dinars. Oh, no. I would much prefer to return it to you for nothing. -As I said, am I not a very sentimental man myself? -A very sentimental man. Yes, as you will, but hurry. -Hurry? -Hurry up and give us the lamp. I would be honored to do so, my friend. Yes, you've already said that. But you see, I don't have it now. You what? I don't have it now. Half an hour ago, on this very road I met Ali the tailor. -A fine man, you should know him. -Yes. I know too many people now. He was on his way back to the city. And after some bargaining I traded the lamp for a new sash. Ali the tailor. Where did you say he lives? He lives over... Let me see now... I just don't seem to recall at the present time, but you'll have no trouble finding him. Everyone in the marketplace knows of Ali the tailor. The marketplace, thanks a lot. (SINGING) Uh-oh. Know, o' master, that I am the slave of the land of Nador. Help. Help! Relax, will ya? I'm yours to command in all things, whether they be great or small. Ask and it shall be given you. Command and it shall be done. (SPEAKING ARABIC) Oh gosh. I sure pick the weirdest characters. Uh, go away. Please go away. Take it easy, buddy. I didn't choose you for a master. In fact, you're something that shouldn't even happen to a genie. A genie! Oh... Welcome, welcome miraculous one. What can I do for you? No, no. You got it backwards. What can I do for you? All you have to do is name it. You mean, I ask for something and it comes to pass? Sure, anything you want? By the bones of Mustafa... Whatever will they think of next? Now, let me see. There is something I have long desired. Okay. It's all yours. Well, I would like... (LAUGHING) Well, tell me. What is it? Well... (GIGGLING) Oh, you can tell me. Well, I would like a red-headed seamstress. Ohh... In fact, I would like several. Red-heads, huh? Well, this kind. Coming up. Hold on to your top knots. (GASP) Do you mean they're... You mean, they're all mine? And they can cook, too. Oh, that's wonderful. I just love good cooking. Is there anything else that I can do for you? No... yes, there is. Like all good tailors, I have a passion for beautiful clothes. Could you bring me the most priceless garment in all the land? One studded with jewels and gold braid. In fact, I'd like the very robe worn by the sultan himself. Oh... The sultan's not gonna like this, but orders are orders. May your wedded life be one of constant joy. And now it is hereby proclaimed... What is the meaning of this disturbance? How dare you interrupt the ceremony. Look. Look. I'll have the scoundrel's head who played this trick. The ceremony will continue when I return. (KNOCKING) Why did you leave the ceremony, my dear? Where is my father? Your father? Why, your father went to his chambers. That was my uncle, Prince Hadji. Why child, your uncle is in exile. My uncle is here in the palace masquerading as the sultan. Armina, the excitement of the wedding has been too much for you. Prince Hadji's attempt on my father's life left him with an ugly scar on his arm. That man had no such wound. Well, if this is so we must proceed with caution. Caution? There's no time for that. We must learn what happened to my father. Oh, yes, of course. The chamberlains are still assembled. If you do not denounce the imposter to them, I will. I shall do so at once. Wait here. So, you said nothing could go wrong. Wrong? What are you talking about? The princess knows you are not the sultan. Don't be a fool, how could she? By the long scar on her father's arm. -I forgot about that. -But the princess didn't. -Where is she now? -Locked in her chambers. Hmm... Nothing has gone wrong yet. What are you going to do? I'm sure you will mourn her with becoming grief. What! Ali, the tailor. -This must be it! -Yeah, I see what you mean. Customers, I'm afraid you're too late. Ali the tailor has retired from business. Say, pal. That's really a sharp robe you got there. You know, I've been looking for one just like it. Yeah man, it's really solid. And those shoulders! Zoot! Where do you begin? And the sleeves, are they loose enough? Don't you think sleeves should be loose? I mean, if they're loose it gives you a chance to get in there. Be on the beam. You know what I mean? Be hip! Yeah, you really look fine. Where did you get it, pal? Well, it's a long story. This morning I passed a camel driver leaving the city. And after some bargaining, I traded him a new sash for an old copper lamp. -Uh-huh? -And when I returned to my shop I happened to rub it accidentally. And a strange maiden appeared. -Just from nowhere. -Well what do you know? She said I could have anything I wanted. And low, when I called upon her to provide me with the beauteous damsels. -Poof! There... -Hold it. I'd love to hear the rest of it some other time. See you around the pool room, huh? Hiya, glad to see ya! How did you get in here? I might ask the same of you. Where's the sultan? Be careful Aladdin, he's the best swordsman in Persia. Boy, I wish I had a gun. What am I saying? They're not even invented yet. Use the lamp on him, Aladdin. No, I'll handle this myself. You thought you'd escape the gallows, eh vagabond? I'll feed your carcass to the crows. Come on, Al. Blind him with footwork. You're a master on your feet, my lord. The sultan! Guards! Guards! Guards! Call out the guards! Guards! To the sultan! Come on, Babs. Run interference. Thanks, Babs. Babs? -Stop! Stop! -What have you done with the sultan? -The palace at the alpha. -Where? -In the dungeon. -Drop your sword. Aladdin. And by the order of our restored sultan, the great and good sultan, Kamar Al-Kir, the noble Aladdin of Cathay is appointed to the office of the Grand Wazir. But, I wanna be near you. Why must I move on? Because someone will always be looking for you. Old men, lovers, little children. All the people in the world who dream. You are known as the genie of the lamp, but some have a different name for you. They call you, hope. Don't you see? You belong to everyone and to all ages. But I don't wanna belong to the ages. I wanna belong to you. You mustn't belong to any one person, Babs. That's why I'm setting you free. -You're giving it to me? -Yes. And you must leave it for someone else to find. For there are others in the world who dream of things that seem beyond their reach. They must learn as I did, that you're not just a pretty story. Oh, please don't send me away, boss dear. Please. I must, if others are to be as happy as I am. Goodbye, Babs. (CRYING) Oh... Aw, gee. Why couldn't he have been twins like the sultan? Twins. Oh! Why didn't I think of that before? Oh come on little lamp, do your stuff. Get me a twin Aladdin. (SINGING) I love women, they're for me. Hiya, kid. This is living, ain't it? -Who are you? -Me? Hey. You kidding? I never saw you before in my life. Come on now, Aladdin. You know me, the kid with the funny sayings. Your friend, Abdullah. I don't know you and you're not my friend. Aw, I get it. You're a big shot now. You wanna give me the brushoff. Oh, Abdullah. Just a minute, wait till I straighten this character out. Look, brother. Don't give me the razzle-dazzle. I know you, just because... Ahh... Aw, he's a pretty nice guy. I think I'll do something real nice for him. Oh, nothing at all Love never appealed to me (SCREAMING) If your heart never could appeal to me Then I'd rather have nothing, nothing at all (SCREAMING) Frankie! Oh, nothing at all If it's love, there is no in-between (SCREAMING) Why begin and cry for something that might have been? No, I'd rather have nothing at all Oh, Frankie. (SCREAMS) |
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