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Abbott and Costello Meet the Keystone Kops (1955)
Poor girl.
You leave her alone or I'll punch you right in the nose. Sit down! Any time you make a date with me, keep it. By the way, did you put your aunt's $5,000 in the bank? Money? Yeah. Tickets, please. Tickets. How many? One. You're cute. You're silly. So is your old man. Willie, do you realize that a person that puts money... in this moving picture business is gonna make a fortune? Give me that money. Now... I got to put that in the bank like my aunt told me to do. Willie, listen to this. See it right here? "Do you want to become rich? "If so, invest in this new entertainment medium, Motion Pictures. "$5,000 cash buys a fully equipped studio. " Willie, opportunity is knocking at your door! Tell him I'm not home. I went to the bank. Wait a minute, Willie. Have you no foresight? I can see it up in lights now. Piper's Phenomenal Pictures, Willie Piper, President. Harry Pierce, General Manager. That's what will happen if you give me the $5,000. If I give you the $5,000, I'll be Willie Piper the pauper. Look, we're only borrowing the money. We'll pay your aunt back in no time. There's a fortune made in these comedy pictures. Comedies? Yes. Harry, I don't like comedies, I like those dramatic pictures. Where the little girl says to her papa, "Papa, please, Papa, don't beat me... "I beg of you, Papa, don't beat me, Papa. "I'll get the money for you, Papa. Don't beat me, Papa. " You should be ashamed of yourself, beating up your son like that. If I ever catch you beating that boy again... I'll report you to the juvenile authorities. Did you get hurt? What's the idea of having me beat up? I didn't mean to have you beat up. Here, you can take the money. I'll take the money after I have you beat up. Oh, don't. Now don't strike your poor old father. Don't strike your poor old dad. I'm your father, Son. Don't hit me. Please don't hit me. Harry. Here, listen. Here, you can take the money, but don't have me beat up. Please, don't have me beat up. Don't beat me up. What did I just tell you? You did it again. I'm sorry, Harry. Here, you can take my aunt's money and buy the studio. Thanks. Could I have a receipt? With pleasure. Now if you'll sign right here, Mr. Piper, this will complete the transaction... and you'll become the proud owner of the best studio in the country. Mr. Gorman, if this is such a good studio, why do you want to sell it? Mr. Piper, that question shows what a shrewd businessman you are. The fact of the matter is, I happen to own two studios... this one in West Orange, New Jersey and one in Brooklyn. The long trip is just too much for me. So I'm selling you the studio in West Orange. Harry, don't you think we ought to see this studio first? Now, Mr. Gorman is a very busy man. Mr. Piper is perfectly right, he should see it. And busy though I am, I'm going to show it to him. Here's a picture of it. Say, what's this sign, "Edison"? That's my middle name, Joseph Edison Gorman. Now, will you please sign here? Mr. Piper, Mr. Pierce, I want you to meet one of my leading ladies... Miss Van Cleef. How do you do? How do you do? How do you do? Darling, I don't want you to get too upset. I've just sold the West Orange studio to Mr. Piper. Thank heavens. I hated that trip. The ferry made me seasick. Well, best of luck, gentlemen, and if there's anything I can do to help, just let me know. Lots of success to you. I withdrew all the money from the bank. Let's make our getaway... before those suckers scream to the Bunko Squad. They won't bother us. I've got a new deal figured out. Always a new deal, a new bunch of suckers and then on the run again. I can't take it any longer, Joe. No more running. We're going legitimate. The cops will be glad to hear that, after they put you away for a long stretch. The cops will be looking for Joe Gorman who no longer exists. Instead, he will be the famous European director... Sergei Toumanoff. How you gonna do this, with mirrors? No. Nose job, a moustache, a marcel toupee, that'll do the business. Well, what about the directing? The only directing you've ever done was to steer some sucker to his bank. Look, Leota, in Hollywood it isn't what you are, it's what they think you are. We'll arrive there with such a fanfare of publicity... that every Hollywood bigwig will roll out the red carpet. The way you say it, it sounds wonderful, Joe. Not my finger. Hit the head. Two more suckers. Hey, just a minute, mister. I know. You bought the studio from a man named Gorman. You're right. How did you know? Follow me, sir. Look at these. "Cushman Studio. " "Grant Productions. " "Struthers Kinema Company. " "Brent Studios. " I don't get it. Willie bought this studio. I have the bill of sale right here in my pocket. They all had a bill of sale. This plant belongs to Mr. Thomas A. Edison. This is the first motion picture studio ever built. It dates back to 1893. It isn't used anymore. No, but Gorman used it to swindle Willie. Now just a minute. How am I gonna get my $5,000 back to give to my aunt? You better report it to the Bunko Squad. Good day and I wish you luck. Thank you, sir. What am I gonna tell my aunt? Tell her anything. It's my own fault for letting you talk me into this thing. Come on, we'll try and get your money. What are you gonna do with that sign? Put it here with the other ones. When we get to California, how do you know Gorman's gonna be there? We'll wait for him. You heard what the detective said. They traced them all the way to the train that was heading for the coast. And then they lost track of them. I wish I'd lost him before he found me. Why didn't you tell me the train was coming? Where did you think that whistle was coming from? A peanut stand? I was trying to scare you a little bit. Yeah. Come on, if we're gonna get Gorman, let's get going. Harry, my foot is stuck. Will you help me? What's the matter? Foot is stuck. Let me see. Don't get excited, I'll throw the switch. Hurry up, will you? Throw the switch. Throw the switch. You made it tighter. Harry, get up. Harry, don't play like that now, pull the switch will you, Harry? Harry. Willie. Willie. Willie, tell me where it hurts. Where does it hurt, Willie? I'll get you to California if I have to carry you all the way myself. Going my way, fellows? We sure are. Why, you dirty double-crosser. No, you don't. No thanks, pop. We're in a hurry. We're going to California. So am I. Sure would enjoy company on this trip. Yeah, but we're in a hurry. Thanks a lot. Well, so long. Come on. Let's go with the poor old man to California. We can get there faster by walking. Walking? Certainly. No, you don't. Pick up those bags. Pick up those bags. Pick them up. Didn't know we were scheduled to stop here. Next stop's supposed to be Los Angeles. Come. Mr. Toumanoff? Yes. We're Los Angeles Police, come with us. Well, I do not understand. You will. Come on. You're holding up the train. You must give me time to change. You will wait outside, please. We didn't get very far, did we, Sergei? Twenty-three skidoo. Would you mind telling me why I am under arrest? My dear Mr. Toumanoff, you are not under arrest. I am Rudolph Snavely, President of Amalgamated Pictures. And I took this means of outwitting my competitors... in order to sign you to your first Hollywood contract. But the police? They are your escorts to the City of the Cinema. I going to like it here. Come, my dear. Hey, Willie. Now it's your turn to ride. No, not me, the train. Come on. Close that other door. We don't want no railroad detective to catch us in here. Harry, we're in Los Angeles already. Boy, we sure made good time. Well, California, here we are. Pick up those bags. We got to get back on the train. Pick them up. Come on. Be careful, boy. Throw me the bag. Willie. Harry! All right, I'm coming! Willie. Harry! Hold on. Hey, you hoboes. Where do you think you're going? Get off before I throw you off. Come on, Willie, take it easy, boy. What are you doing? Come on, we can hide in here. Jump. What're you doing? Stay down there! Hey, you, don't try to get away. Here I come. Hey, Willie, where are you? Between the porterhouse and the short ribs. All right, you fellows, I know you're in here. Come on, speak up! Where do you fellows think you're going? California. Well, I hate to disappoint you. Come on. Wait a minute. You're not gonna throw us off, are you? Of course not. Oh, pardon us, gentlemen, for dropping in on your lunchtime. Boy, that smells good. That's more than we can say for you. Boy, do they need deodorizing. Hey, they forgot the bread. Wait a minute. Think of me once in a while. I'm hungry, too. Come here. What's the matter? Sit down and relax. What's the matter? Something happen? I want to trade bread with you. Here. How come you give me the biggest piece? My mother told me to always give my friends the biggest piece. It's not like you. Yes. No. Good, though. Taste any meat? I don't expect to taste meat in a loaf of bread. Try the other end. Both ends are alike. Try that one over there. What're you gonna do? I'm gonna look for that squirrel. What's the matter? What happened? Hey, can I use your gun? No. I win. Excuse me. Hey, get a load of these dice. One has all sixes and the other one has all fives. Those tramps. I think they're crooked. I don't think they were branged up right. Whoa. Well, what happened to you fellows? Well, some tramps, they stole our money and took away our clothes from us. Well, hop in, I'll get you to California. No, thanks, we're still in a hurry. But you could loan us some money. Well, I can only spare $20. I'll see that you get it back. You keep quiet. I'll give you an IOU for it. All righty. Just make the IOU out right on that piece of paper. Well. "I owe you $30." But, I only gave you $20. Well, $10 is for interest. Here you are. Sign it. It sure is nice to do business with fellows like you. So, good... Good bye? So long. Don't try to figure it out. I wonder how far $20 will take us on that train. Hold it. No tramps allowed on here. Beat it. Wait a minute. We're not tramps. We got money. We want to pay our way. How far will $20 take us? This is no passenger train. I can't collect fares, so it's no dice. Say, there's nothing in your regulations that says... we can't gamble to see whether we ride or not, is there? Do you know how to shoot dice? No. Do you know how to shoot dice? Not with his dice. They've only got two numbers on them. Sixes and fives. We'll play with my dice. And when you lose the $20, I'm throwing you off the train. And you do the shooting. Come on. Now, wise guy, this $20 will get us no place. Wait a minute. Let me see those dice. How am I gonna explain this to my wife? Same way I'm gonna explain it to mine. The old man made it as fast as we did. Let's give him the $20 we took from him. Come on. We can't catch up to him. I'll mail him the money. Wait a minute. Where are you going? I'm gonna give the old man the money. Come back here. Wait a minute, old man. We've got your money. Boy, the old man sure will be surprised to see us. Yeah. Will he be surprised to get his money back. Yeah. Hey, mister. What happened to the old man? Those dirty crooks, they must have stolen the wagon. Indians! More action! More action! More action! More action. How can a thing like this happen? Maybe Custer hasn't finished his last stand. If they catch us, will they scalp us? I don't know. More action! Saved in the nick of time. No driver. Get in the driver's seat. Grab the reins. Get in there. Hurry up. Get out of there! Get out of there! Cut! Cut! Cut! We lost them. That was a narrow escape. You can stop the horses now. The greatest Indian fight ever to be filmed ruined by a couple of idiots. Who are they? What are they doing here? Somebody answer me. Shut up until I finish! How's this? What's the matter, Sergei? My beautiful picture is ruined. Killed just as it was being born... by those... They are the ones! They! The driver's wonderful. Look at him drive. Get that camera on that action. Snavely, I am the director. I will tell the cameraman what to do. Cut. Yes, Mr. Toumanoff. I am the producer. Keep that camera turning. Yes, Mr. Snavely. But it will ruin my beautiful picture. My epic. Keep that camera on that action. They'll never make it. It's suicide! Cut. That is the greatest stunt I have ever seen. I knew you would like it, Snavely. But I wanted to surprise you when you saw it in the projection room. Toumanoff, that stunt has never been in motion pictures. We'll build a whole story around it. You are a genius. Come on, I want to talk to that little stuntman. Good. Hey, you know, a guy could get killed in one of these things. No kidding. More Indians. We surrender. Will you tell your brothers not to fight with us anymore? My brothers? Yeah. Tell them not to shoot any more arrows. Didn't I, sort of, meet you someplace before? I've never been there. Weren't you with... No. I was alone. Are you sure that you... I haven't been there, either. Hello, my dear. How. How? I don't know. Well done, my boy. Congratulations. Mister... This is Mr. Piper. Willie Piper. I'm Harry Pierce. We'd better get out of here. The Indians have got us surrounded. Mr. Piper, you can't tell me you're afraid of motion picture Indians. They're motion picture Indians? No. He's not afraid. I would say that he fears nothing. That stunt you just did was the most hair-raising thing I have ever seen. You are a daredevil. Amalgamated Pictures could use a man like you. You mean working in a studio? Working in a studio? We could get a line on that Gorman, that dirty swindler. We could get the cops to get after him. Right. Hey, in this studio, what would I be, the janitor? Mr. Piper. You have an excellent sense of humor. Mr. Snavely wishes to engage you as a stuntman. Stuntman? Yes. And if he will allow me to direct you, I, Sergei Toumanoff... will take very good care of you. It's a deal. From now on, you will double for all of our stars. Just how long will this job last? Until something happens to you. Come on, Mr. Piper. You, Mr. Pierce, I'll ride you back to my office and we'll sign the contract. No. Mr. Piper... you maybe rest assured that I will do everything in my power... to locate this scoundrel Gorman for you... and get your aunt's money back. Thanks a lot, Mr. Snavely. Thanks a million, Mr. Snavely. Come on. Pardon us, Mr. Snavely. Well, you gentlemen are coming up in the world. Is Mr. Snavely going to star you? No. He's going to help us. He's going to help us find that crook named Gorman. Well, I must tell Mr. Toumanoff about this. I'm sure he'll be happy to do something about your finding Mr. Gorman. Say, didn't I... No. I still think I know that girl from someplace. Look. What else can you offer me for this job besides the money? I will make you my right-hand man. Piper will double for you in the airplane scenes. He's going to double for me? What are you trying to do? Kill him or my career? After I make him jump from the plane today... neither of us will worry about our careers. Well, of all the nerve. I thought you were a girl. I was supposed to be a stuntman. Now, I'm a girl. Listen, what is the difference? That's too big a stunt for me. We both want to find Gorman, don't we? Now, you're doubling for that actress today. Keep your eyes open. You know, there's something about that girl that I seem to remember. What do you mean? It's a woman's intuition. All you women are alike. Piper. Where is Piper? You've got on the wrong clothes. You can say that again. Go change into your flying outfit. Mr. Toumanoff is waiting. Hurry up. Tut-tut, my good man, that's no way to talk to a lady. Excuse me. Are you a director? Yes. Could you tell me your name? Mack Sennett. It's Mack Sennett. That's not Mack Sennett. Are you sure you're Mack Sennett? Sweetheart. That's Mack Sennett. Stop the music. What's the matter, boss? I just had a fight with my conscience. And? I won. When we arrive at the rendezvous, Mr. Jason... you will attack the heroine's plane. As you dive in on her, you will fire one burst of ammunition... in an endeavor to shoot her down. You will keep firing, until she bails out. That is the end of the scene. Is that clear? Yes, Mr. Toumanoff. Is everything fixed, Hinds? Don't worry, Chief. I've weakened every strut in Piper's ship. And if that don't do the trick, I put live ammunition in Jason's guns. Hinds, if I was not the genius, I would say you were. Stop. Are you ready, Piper? Yes, sir. The only thing I want to tell you, Mr. Toumanoff... every time I take one foot off the ground, I get dizzy. Mr. Piper, I personally have taken every precaution for your safety. Now, today you are doubling our heroine... who is flying to Washington for a peace treaty with the Indians. But, Mr. Toumanoff, there were no airplanes when we were fighting the Indians. Can I help it if I'm ahead of my time? Do not interrupt. I'm sorry. You are flying toward the setting sun... But, Mr. Toumanoff... if Washington is in the east and the sun sets in the west... In my pictures, the sun sets... where I want it to set. Excuse me. You continue like a bird, flying toward the setting sun. Suddenly, you hear the roar of a motor. You turn. You see the renegade in his plane, diving at you with blazing guns. You're about to be shot down. You are trapped. Helpless. What are you going to do? Tell him. I'm going to quit. Wait a minute. Nonsense. You parachute to safety. Hinds, put the parachute on Mr. Piper. No, you don't. I'm taking no chances. I'll put it on him. Climb into the plane, Mr. Piper. The pilot will be right here. What about the pilot? He'll never get into the plane. And Piper? I've taken care of the control stick. The plane will go up but Humpty Dumpty will fall. Good. I'll take care of the blocks. Music. Ready? All ready, Mr. Toumanoff. Fast music. Camera. Action. What happened? They don't know how to fly a plane. They don't? Mr. Toumanoff ain't going to like this. I didn't know you could drive a plane. I can't but you're doing a good job. Who's driving? Mr. Snavely, my plane took off without me. Good. Good gracious. Piper will be killed. Killed? I hope Toumanoff gets it on film. I didn't mean that, of course, I... Well, how can we stop them? Piper, get out of the way. You get out of the way! Hey, Willie. Listen... Willie! What are you doing out there? Give me your hand. Bring it here. Willie. No! No! What are you laughing at? This is very funny, Mr. Toumanoff. This is not supposed to be funny. Now, Mr... Now, Mr. Jason. Now. Dive. Hey. They're shooting real bullets. Some fool put live ammunition in here. Pull up. Give me that parachute. No. Mr. Toumanoff said I should wear the parachute. Don't be so selfish. I'll use the parachute first. When we hit the ground, then you can have it. You'll be there before I will. All right, then, I'll wait for you. Watch out for the first step. It's a high one. Never mind the first step. This is sensational. That is an understatement, Mr. Toumanoff. Don't miss a second of it. I am a genius. Let go of my pants, will you? What will I hang on to? You don't have to hold on to my pants. Let go of my pants. Toumanoff! Hold on, Piper. Hold on. What's the matter? Did you change your mind? No, but I want more footage. Follow them. Don't lose them. Toumanoff! Now look what you did. Toumanoff! Let go. Keep grinding. Keep grinding. Let go of my shoe. Let go of my shoe. Cut. Sensational, Mr. Toumanoff. You are a genius. How do you rescue them? Yeah. How do you rescue him? He comes up in a submarine. I'll kill him. I'll kill him if it kills me to kill him. Ship ahoy! Toumanoff! Are your rushes ready? The cutter is just having the operator put it on the machine. Fine. What do you suppose is bothering him? You don't think he smells a rat. Now, Joe. Don't belittle yourself. Don't get smart. Anything happens to me, I bring you into it. All right, Harvey. Run them. Yes, Mr. Toumanoff. What good is that stuff? Anyone can tell it's the double. It doesn't look anything at all like Leota. Why didn't you shoot the back of Piper's head? I tried to. He turned his head. How did Pierce get into the plane? He must have been a stowaway. Don't worry. I take care of that in the cutting. I use only the longer shots. Turn on the lights. Harvey, was that you laughing? I'm sorry, sir. I couldn't help myself. It's very funny. It is not supposed to be funny. You know, I think it is. Who is in here? Just yourself, Leota, Mr. Snavely, Harry, and Harry. Get out! Get out! Get out! Sergei, if I were you... I wouldn't speak that way to Amalgamated's newest comedy team. Piper and Pierce a comedy team? That's right. And you will be their director. I? I will have nothing to do with comedy. I am a dramatic director. Let's talk this over, Mr. Gorman. There is absolute... Gorman? A short while ago, Piper came to me with a story... of how he was swindled by a con man named Gorman. What has this to do with me? I am Sergei Toumanoff. There's no use denying it. Without the mustache, without the toupee, without the accent, you are Gorman. I had the New York police check your fingerprints... and I have all of the evidence in my safe. This is preposterous! Oh, drop the act, Joe. Where do we go from here? I have arranged that those people you swindled... shall be repaid out of your salary. And I have also arranged that by your doing this... no one will press any charges. Because I believe that you are a great comedy director. And I can keep the identity of Toumanoff? And you can keep your accent, and I will keep your money. Of course, if you do not wish to direct comedy... I love it! Then get writers and start preparing a script. But be sure that neither of these boys does any stunts. Mr. Snavely, I promise you, even their doubles will have doubles. All right, but remember, I'm holding you responsible for their safety. Yes, Mr. Snavely. Come, my dear. Harvey, run that film again, please. Everything's all set. A torpedo friend of mine is going to run over them with a car. No. That will ruin me. They are my bread and butter. If you kill them, you kill me. But you wanted them killed... so when they walk out of the studio, a car's gonna hit them. Now I have to save them to save myself. Imbecile! How could you be so stupid as to drop your dollar down there? It could have been worse. How could it be worse? You could've dropped your dollar down there. He did it! Please, don't die. Please. Stop a car. Somebody call an ambulance. I'll call an ambulance. He fainted. Better give him some air. Okay. Fan him. What's the matter? He's got a bald head, just like Gorman. We better investigate! Come on. Well, the coast is clear. It was nice of the fellows in the wardrobe department to loan us these outfits. Sure. Now you know what to do. Yes, sir. You're gonna break inside that house... and you're gonna get evidence to prove that Toumanoff is Gorman. Right. And if Toumanoff captures me... he'll never recognize me with this mask on. And if Toumanoff should happen to call for a policeman... that's me, I rush in and I arrest you, and I... Look, it's me. Hello, Harry. Quiet. How dare you steal from Toumanoff. Operator? Operator! Get me the police. Did you phone for a policeman, sir? Yes. Arrest that burglar. I'll prefer charges in the morning. Yes, sir. Harry, you're clumsy. Come on, you crook. Let's get out of here. Don't forget to spell my name right! Toumanoff. Director Toumanoff. Yes, sir. Hey, did you find anything? I'm no stool pigeon. Hey, Harry, your voice sounds funny with that mask on. Hold this. I'm gonna take the mask off and see. So, you escaped and came back? Go ahead, call the police. We traced your call, Mr. Toumanoff. Anything wrong? Yes. Why you let this man escape? I never saw him before. You never... I saw you take him out of here with your own hands. Come on, Officer, take me to jail. I'll take you to jail, me fine bucko. Come on. Don't forget to spell my name right. Toumanoff. Director Toumanoff. Nice work. Leave it, you don't have to be so rough. Now, let me go. Willie, let me go. Oh, yeah? Did that crook come back in here? I told you before that he came back. You just took him out of here! I did? When was that? When you took him away the last time. Now go search the grounds and you'll find him, before I report you! Did that burglar come back here? I just told you he did! You did? When? Every time you ask me! Now, go find him before he does come back. Yeah. Yeah. Excuse me. Did that crook come back in here again? How would I know if he comes back... when I was just now over there talking with you? I wasn't standing over there talking to you just now. Go away. Let him come and rob my house. Just let me have a little peace. Huh? Have a little peace! Oh, thank you. I love turkey. I'll go out and see if I can get that crook right now. Come in! Any sign of him? Didn't I tell you just now, before you went out that window? I never went out that window. Didn't you just take a piece of my turkey? I hate turkey. I think I could use a little drink, too. I'm all mixed up. Go away. And don't come back! Come in! Hey, this turkey was delicious. Didn't you just tell me you hated turkey? Who, me? When? When you took the drink. Drink? I don't drink. Get out! Get out! Police! Police! Did you call the police? No. I just yelled to hear the sound of my voice. Arrest this man. You're under arrest. Wait a minute. Is your name Willie? No, it's Mike. Wait a minute. I've got you, bub. Did you call for the police? Didn't you just go out that door? No. Well, you're going out this one. Relax and enjoy yourself. Nothing was stolen. Here's to the straight and narrow path. And... to Hollywood's newest and greatest comedy director. Now that you don't want me to do any more of your dirty work... how about paying me for what I have done? You'll have to wait. Snavely is holding up my salary... to square a little account of mine in the East. What about your past due account you have here in the West? Or would you like me to tell him about our deal? Be patient, Hinds. He'll get your money. And he can do it just as easily by going straight. Sure, let him go straight. Straight to $75,000 in Snavely's safe. But that... That is the money for the first Piper and Pierce comedy. That's right. But it would also pay me off... and still leave plenty for a smart director to make pictures in Europe. Let's drink to it. For heaven's sakes, stop playing Jimmy Valentine and open the safe. Snavely will be here any minute. Hey, I wonder who else has to okay these before we make the test. You're robbing Mr. Snavely. Yeah. Now we know that you're Gorman. Well, boys, I guess you've caught me red-handed. You'd better phone the police. You can't get away with that! Come on. Help! Help! Don't worry, Mr. Snavely. We'll catch those crooks. Boy, are we lucky. We'll ask those cops to help us catch those crooks. Fellows, we've got to catch those crooks. They're getting away. Are you with us? Sure. But hurry up. We'll lose them. Hey, Piper. Those are not real policemen. Hey, bring that patrol wagon back. We're not ready yet. They've got a wagonload of cops after us. Don't worry, we'll lose them. Hinds will be waiting at the airfield with the plane ready to take off. What are we gonna do now? What are we going to do? Can you drive? Just like driving a bicycle. How do you stop it? I don't know. They're still following us. Well, let them follow us now. Give me that. Hold on. Get out of the way! Lay off. Wait for me! Come on. Come on. Come back. They're still following us. Come on and push. Come on! Where's Hinds? We can't wait for him now. Hop in. Contact? Contact. We got you, Gorman. Arrest them, fellows. You fools, those are the Keystone Kops. They can't arrest me. No, but we can, Gorman! Hold it. Lady, get out of the plane. Very well, my dear. We must not keep the gendarmes waiting. So, the villain is apprehended. And justice triumphs. Mr. Snavely, we saved your money for you. |
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