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Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff (1949)
Ha-ha.!
You didn't dot the "I." Whoo! Hey, Joe, who's this guy Strickland? All you news hawks hanging around here, half the guests are inquiring about him. A fine hotel dick. Don't you ever read anything outside The Racing Form? Amos Strickland is the number-one criminal lawyer in the country. Why all the excitement? Lawyers have visited the Lost Caverns before. Sure, but when the lawyer's Amos Strickland... and he postpones an important case to come up here, something's cookin'. Hold it! No pictures, boys! How about a statement? No statement, and I said no pictures! Come on, boys, break it up. You heard the man. Beat it. Go ahead. You must be Mr. Strickland. Brilliant. You must be the hotel detective. Jeff, Mr. Strickland. Good evening, Mr. Strickland. I'm sorry you were annoyed, but you know how newsmen are. Unfortunately, yes. Tell Mr. Crandall I'm here. I'm sorry, Mr. Crandall's not in, but his niece is anxious to speak with you. If I wanted to speak to his niece, I'd ask for her. The moment Mr. Crandall comes in, tell him I want to see him. Yes, sir. Freddie, will you show Mr. Strickland to room 125? Yes, sir. Oh, my leg! Be more careful, my good man! I'm sorry. My umbrella! Yes, sir. Pick up my bag! Aah! Look! Look! Look at my glasses! They're broken. I'll have your job for this. Aren't you too old for this type of work? I'll have you discharged! Pick up my bag.! Get out, you, you, you careless idiot.! Get out of here! What seems to be the trouble? Who are you? I'm Mr. Melton, the hotel manager. Oh, you are, are you? Well, look at my glasses! Who's responsible for this? He is; if you hadn't come here, you'd never have broke 'em. I... I insist that you discharge this moron immediately! Take off that uniform and get out; you're fired. Fired? Okay. I'll go. I wanna tell you something, Mr. Strickland; I'll get even with you for this. Every dog has his day, and I'll have mine. I'm gonna make you pay for this. Are you threatening me? In words of one syllable, yes! So you got fired, eh? Yes, I did, and I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told him: every dog has his day! I'll show you to your room, Mr. Strickland. Casey, bring the bags up. Who, me? You. The key please, Jeff. This way. Jeff, give me a hand, will ya? Jeff, have you been demoted to bellboy? No, just helping Casey. They belong to the great Mr. Strickland. I told you to notify me the instant he got here. He didn't want to speak to you, just your uncle. Mr. Strickland's a man you don't argue with; he just got Freddie fired. Betty, I said Freddie's been fired again. What? Oh, Freddie. I'll speak to my uncle. Is there anything wrong? Not a thing. My key, please. Uh, yes, Mrs. Grimsby. Thank you. Mr. Strickland, I'm sorry I barged in like this, but I came in to apologize to you. I'm sorry for the way I talked to you. Really I am, Mr. Strickland. And I'm also sorry, Mr. Strickland, that I dropped the golf bag on your toes. I must've hurt. Mr. Strickland, there's somethin' else I wanna say. I'm sorry I broke your eyeglasses. Thanks a lot for allowing me to apologize to ya. Mr. Strickland, now that I've apologized, would you mind tellin' Mr. Melton? Don't you think it's better if you go inside the next room? There's a bed in there. Hmm? It's a short walk. Mr. Strickland. Don't you feel well? Uh-oh. This guy's plenty sick. Whew. He made it. Ohh! What you need is air and plenty of it... and I ain't gonna give it to ya with a little handkerchief. I gotta give you plenty of air. Mr. Strickland, come on, will ya! I gotta do somethin' to help you. Come on, I... I w... Blood. Blood. He's dead. Who did it, Mr. Strickland? Gee, that's funny. I always thought that if I was in a room alone with a dead person... I would be scared. Ha-ha! But... Casey! Hey, Mr. Melton! Let go of me! Casey! Let go of me! Hey! Hey! What's the matter, Mr. Melton? This idiot just attacked me. Take him out of here before he kills somebody! I didn't do it! I just happened to find the body! What body? Who's dead? What are you talking about? M-M-Mr. Strickland! H-He's been murdered! Murdered.! Impossible.! We don't permit murders in this hotel.! Ahh, Mr. Smelton... Melton! The poor man, he's dead, dead, dead! Come here! Excuse me. Th-Th-Th-There he is! He is dead! I been tryin' to tell ya... he's dead! I'll see ya later. Wait a minute! Don't go away. And nobody touch that body. Touch it? I don't even wanna look at it. Not a word of this to the guests; we must keep it quiet. You'd better leave an extra sheet for Casey to cover up the dead body. Dead body? Ohh! That's enough! That's enough! Get her quiet, and don't touch a thing. I'm gonna call the police. Quiet! Hello? What's the matter? There's been an accident. Is it serious? Murder. Murder? Aah! - Hello, Operator. Get me Inspector Wellman. - Why, it's Mr. Strickland! Jeff, take Betty to her room. No, I don't wanna speak to the sergeant, I wanna speak to Wellman.! That's awful. He was such a nice man. Do you have a handkerchief? Yeah. Uh-uh. What happened? Strickland was murdered. He's dead. I don't wanna speak to the sergeant,: I wanna speak to Inspector Wellman.! And hurry it up.! What's going on here? I caught this man trying to make off with that briefcase. I thought it might contain important evidence. You caught me trying to get away with this briefcase? It was him! You fibber. How dare you call Mr. Brooks a thief? Apologize at once! Apologize? Mr. Brooks, I'm sorry you're a crook. Pig head! Ping! - Freddie. - Mr. Melton. Keep this as quiet as possible. I'll put this in the safe. Hello.! Hello, Inspector Wellman? This is Casey of the Lost Caverns Hotel. You'd better hop right over. Looks like we've got a murder on our hands. Okay. Oh, Mr. Casey. Yeah? My name's Relia. I checked in this morning. What can I do for you? I heard about the murder. My gun disappeared from my room a couple hours ago. It's registered in my name. If it turns out to be the murder weapon, well, I just want the police to know. Any idea who took it? It could've been a maid, a waiter or a bellboy. Bellboy. That makes sense. Bellboys carry pass keys. It could be a bellboy, 'cause I was a bellboy myself and I know. I could get into every room in the place. What am I sayin'? Casey, search him. He may have Relia's gun. Now, listen, I... Quiet, quiet, quiet. I don't know how I get in the middle of these things. "Casey, search him. " Hmph! That's mine. Nothing on him. Mr. Smelton... Melton... You're not gonna implicate me and get away with it. I heard him threaten Mr. Strickland. Don't let him out of your sight until the police come. Troublemaker. Casey, I'm worried. Yeah. You don't think I had anything to do with it, do ya? No. But it looks bad, Freddie, it looks bad. I know. You have two things in your favor; one, they found no bloodstains on ya. - Eeek! - Two, the gun that killed Strickland is still missing. That I'm very happy for. On the other side of the ledger... all the evidence points to you. You were seen fighting with him, then you lost your job. That supplies the motive. Sure. Then you were heard threatening him and were seen coming out of his room. What are you doing? Gotta t-t-take to laundry. Laundry? To the laundry? Yeah. Wait a minute, come here. Just a minute here... Hey, where'd you get that gun? I don't know. For the last time, where'd you get that gun? I don't know. Where'd you get that gun? That's not fair; you said for the last time, I answered it. You're using unfair tactics. I'm trying to help you out. There's no doubt this is really his gun and that they planted it in here! We've gotta get it back to his room before the police come, otherwise you're a dead duck. Why would anybody put that here? When we find that out, we'll find the culprit. Who's the culprit? The culprit and the murderer are the same! Oh, they are? Come on, shake a leg. Duck. Duck. Something sneaky about that dame. I think you're right. I'm gonna question her. She went that way, over the other way. If he's in here, just pretend we've made a mistake. Shh. Ahh, the wrong key. Try this one. What? Where'd you get that? Red. Red who? Red Skelton. It's a Skelton key. Opens up any door. Come on. Hey. This guy is a messy housekeeper. This place has been searched. I wonder if it coulda been that dame down the hall. Whoever it was did a thorough job. I'll say. Let's plant the gun here and get out. Hey, wait a minute. Here's a telegram to Michael Relia. Get a load of this. "Am including your case in my memoirs. Be at the Lost Caverns Hotel this weekend. Signed, Amos Strickland. " This could tie in with the murder. I'm gonna check on this Relia. See if the coast is clear; I'll plant this gun in one of his suits in the closet. Oh. You didn't see me. You didn't see me. I wasn't here. Okay, I planted the gun. Come on, let's go. Come... What's the matter? I didn't see him. You didn't see who? The man who wasn't here. What man? All I did was open up the door, see if the coast was clear. My mind went blank. Your mind's been blank all your life. Close the door. I said c... Come on! I didn't see him. I'll have a coroner's report on Strickland first thing in the morning, Inspector. That'll be fine, Doc. Where were we, Milford? You've been Strickland's secretary nearly 20 years. Over 20 years. Any enemies? Naturally, Inspector Wellman. A big criminal lawyer is bound to make some enemies. But I don't know of anyone who would've resorted to murder. You're wasting your time. You've got the murderer... Phillips, the bellboy. Mr. Melton, if you don't mind, I'll handle this case in my own way. Bring that bellboy in. Okay, Phillips, the Inspector wants you. Be firm! You just leave 'em to me. I can handle this two guys. You can go, Melton. Okay, Phillips! I didn't do it, Inspector! I didn't do it! Please, I didn't do it! Don't hit me! Don't twist my arm! Don't twist my arm! I'm innocent, I tell ya! Don't hit me on the head with a rubber hose! Please don't hit me on the head with a rubber hose! Wait a minute! Shut up! What? The man didn't touch you with his little finger. What kind of third degree is this? I don't give third degrees! Stingy. All right! What's the matter with that guy? He's been that way all his life. He's too dumb to commit a murder. But why is he always hollerin' about rubber hoses? - Casey, show him the telegram. - What telegram? Are you withholding evidence? Oh, no, Inspector. I was going to give you this. We found this is Relia's room. I'll look this over later. I'm releasing this bellhop into your custody. He's not to leave this hotel. But Mr. Melton said I have to get out. You'll remain as a guest of the State. A guest? They pay for everything? Ha! If you get a chance, come up and see me sometime. Thank you. Good-bye. Oh. Excuse me. Oh-oh. Just a moment, dear. It's all right. - Will you bring the phone over here, please? Hello! Yes? Of course. I'd be delighted. Thank you. We're gonna have a guest. Casey, I want you to order me peasant on the half shell. Also order me crepes tied around Suzette... and my special order of caviar with bologna on the side. You're a guest of the State, but don't you think you're carrying this too far? California is a big state. If it was Rhode Island, it'd be different. $8.55, Mr. Phillips. Can you spell "California"? Certainly! Sign the check, please. And put a big tip on for everybody. Oh, thank you very much. You're welcome! You're welcome! You're welcome! Good-bye now! See you tomorrow! You won't be here tomorrow. Yes, I will. Wait'll Inspector Wellman sees the report I have on Michael Relia. You will be just an ordinary little bellhop again. I don't intend to be a bellhop anymore. Mm-hmm. Furthermore, I have a date with Angela Gordon. I... Ha! That good-lookin' dame made a date with you? Yes. I don't believe it. Angela. My Angela. Ha-ha! Please. Come in, darling. Darling? Here's your suit. Angela, huh? Angela! Oh, am I intruding? No, but he is! Hmm-hmm! Angela. Won't you sit down, Freddie? I think so. Over there? Mmm. Sit down? Please. Gee, you're pretty. I bet you say that to all the girls. Yes. It don't go over so good with the boys. You're sweet. To think that they suspect you of murdering Strickland. It's ridiculous. If they give me the gas chamber, they're hangin' the wrong man, and they'll be sorry. Have you any idea who the real murderer is? Yes. Who? The culprit. But who is the culprit? Well? The murderer. Casey has to find out only one thing before he can put him in jail. What's that? If he did it. Who? The culprit. Who is the culprit? The murderer! Don't you understand? If you could prove who did it, you'll be a hero, and I just adore heroes. Get him to sign a confession. Who? The murderer. Who's the murderer? The culprit! Don't you understand? Yes! If I get the murderer to sign a confession, that'll prove I'm innocent! Why couldn't I think of something like that? Ooh, if I only had a pencil and paper, you know what I would do... Thank you. I'll dictate, you write. Hmm-hmm! Start. I hereby confess. You did it? Oh, no, Freddie. Write. I hereby confess... to the murder of Amos Strickland. Now sign it. Me sign it? Certainly. You are the witness. Then when the real murderer signs it, everyone will know who got the confession out of him. Huh! Yeah. That's right. Hmm. Freddie Phillips. Pretty good! Boy, will Casey be proud of me! Don't tell Casey. We'll keep it a secret. Excuse me. There's someone at the door. Ahh! For me? I took the liberty of ordering this. That'll be all. Yes, ma'am. I thought it might be fun to have a little... champagne. Gee, I never thought I'd live a life like this. I've got a report on every one of ya, thanks to Mr. Strickland's secretary. You've all had enough experience with the law to know that the sooner you start cooperating... the sooner we'll get this case over with. Okay, who's gonna speak up? Nobody, huh? Inspector, I've gotta talk to ya right away. I've cracked this case wide open; I've got the murderer for ya. Mike Relia. Maybe that's why we can't find him. Got any proof? I sent his fingerprints down to headquarters, and I've got the complete report. You know, he was defended on a murder rap by Strickland in 1940. Old stuff, Casey. We know all that. It matches in with the telegram he received; that's your motive. Sure, except for one thing. Outside of the girl, everyone in that room received a similar telegram. They've all got just as much to lose as Mike Relia. Crandall too? Crandall too. Sorry, Casey. Keep on tryin'. Sergeant, send Mike Relia and Miss Gordon in here. I've got two men looking for them. Not Angela Gordon. Yep. She was once tried for feeding her husband champagne cocktails. Two jiggers of champagne to one jigger of poison. She's up in Freddie's room! I saw the champagne wagon headed that way! They're having cocktails right now. What? There's a poison antidote in the doctor's office! Let's go! I'm hurt, Freddie. I mixed one of my special champagne cocktails just for you... and you won't even taste it. I have a confession to make. You did it? No! I mean, I never drink that stuff. That's like drinking poison. Oh, just one teensy-weensy sip. Oh... Oh, stop it. The bubbles is ticklin' my nose. For little Angela. I wouldn't drink it for big Angela. Cut it out, will ya? Oh, drink it! Give me that glass! I've had enough of this! There you are, just as I told ya! And he drank some! The antidote! Get him outta here! What's goin' on here? Quiet! I got a date with a girl! What is that? Mustard and milk. Mustard and milk? I got a girl over here! Come on! This is an outrage. I told them who you are. You can stop pretending. Why, you... I also gave the Inspector the background on your playmates... including that fake swami from Brooklyn. What else have you got? Flour and water. What are you doing to me? Quiet! Quiet! Save your strength! When are you gonna start cooperating, Miss Gordon? I'll do anything you say. But don't let my name get into the papers; I'm engaged, and it would wreck my life. What else? Sweet oil and lime! Casey! Casey! Take it easy, Freddie! I'll take care of ya! Who killed Strickland, Miss Gordon? I don't know. If I knew, I'd tell you. What else? Atropin and belladonna. Casey! Casey! Oh, get in there! Get in there! There's nothing in that drink. We'll find out soon enough. In the meantime, I'm holding you. I've given him everything. Nothing happened. See? Casey, what are you doin' to me? Sorry about the rough treatment, Freddie... but that champagne cocktail might've been poisoned. P... Poison? Poison? Poison? Are you tryin' to tell me... Ohh! What are you... Ho-ho! I didn't even drink the stuff! Why didn't you tell me? Every time I opened my mouth... you kept pouring something down it! Ohh! Ohh! What good is this confession if that bellboy is still around? You've let us down, Angela. We were all rather surprised when the police found there was nothing in the drink. You don't think I intended to kill him. I just wanted to get him drunk and put him on the slow boat to Shanghai or someplace. Not permanent enough, my dear; he'd come back. If Mike Relia hadn't left, he'd know how to get us out of this situation. I've done my part; I got the confession. I suppose it's up to me. This bellboy will commit suicide tonight... and this will be found beside the body. Suicide? I have ways. You are in a deep sleep, a sound sleep. You hear nothing but the sound of my voice. You will do as I say. You will obey without question. Open your eyes. Freddie, your future is black. A terrible fate awaits you; you have nothing to live for. But you have one escape. Escape. Yes. Eternal sleep. The sleep that brings peace. The sleep that goes on forever. I-I-I-I-I may as well be dead. That's right, Freddie. Stand up. S-S-S-Stand up? Obey me. Do as I say. Now walk. Stand on the foot of the bed. Put the noose around your neck. Now, when I count three, jump. One. Two. Three! Sit up, Freddie. Stand up on the floor. Take the noose from 'round your neck. We'll have to try something else. Freddie, do you have a gun? Then get it. Do you have the gun, Freddie? Then don't delay. Put it to your head and use it. No, no, no. Maybe you'd like to select your own means of self-destruction. How would you like to die? Old age. Freddie. Come to the window. Climb up on the sill. Now then, Freddie, jump! Not into the room, out of the window! Now climb up again. You're going to commit suicide... if it's the last thing you do. Now then... take this knife. Use it! Freddie. Listen to me. You will do as I tell you. You will obey me without question. Freddie... I want you to take this knife and plunge it into your heart. Do as I say. Amazing; even under hypnosis... the will of an idiot to cling to life. Freddie, would you plunge this knife... into the heart of the man in the mirror? Good. Then take the knife. Plunge it into the heart of the man in the mirror. No. No.! No, Freddie, not me! Not me, you fool! The man in the mirror! Freddie, obey me! The man in the mirror. Freddie. Freddie! Freddie! Freddie, wake up! What is this? What's the idea of chasing me with a knife? How could I? I'm in bed. You... You... Wait a minute. What am I doin'? I must be sleepwalkin'. What's the meaning of this? I must've walked on the ceiling too. Hmm-hmm! Casey, what a dream I had! Never mind your dream. Relia's run out; we've gotta find him and make him talk. Put on your clothes while I wash my hands. How'd I ever make it up there? I must've come up this way, up this side wall and walked over that way. Probably got chewing gum on my feet. Hi. Casey. Casey! Casey! What's the matter? What's this... What's this all about? What are you do... Casey. What are you trying to say? Get out of the way. It's Mike Relia! He's dead. He's been stabbed! You didn't do this while you were sleepwalking, did ya? I wouldn't kill anybody. I know it, but do the cops? They find this out, it'll be curtains for you. We've gotta get this body back into its own room. What'll we do? Yeah, what'll we do? I'll get a laundry cart, you get that body out of there. Well, come on! Get some life into it! Don't you think that's askin' a little too much? Aah! Mom. Come on, we've gotta get this body back to its room. Why can't I wear my brown suit? So nobody'll recognize you when you're pushing this cart down the corridor. Come on, make it snappy. Come on. Come on, Freddie, let's get rid of this body. Come on, come... Freddie. Freddie, where are ya now? Freddie... Here I am. Come on! How am I? Hello, Casey. Hello, Inspector. Maid, would you get me an extra bath towel? I'd be delighted. Get a bath towel for the Inspector. Any news on the murder, Inspector? I'm expecting a phone call from Stone that'll pin it on that bellboy. You're keepin' an eye on him, aren't you? Yes, everything's in hand. I say, everything's in hand! Hurry up with that towel. The dumbest maid we have in the hotel. I've been speaking to the boss in regards to firing her, but nothing happens. Maybe she knows where the body's buried. Here's your towel. Thank you. You're welcome. My phone. Come on. Push! Hey, shall we dump him in bed? Oh, certainly not. Let's put him in the closet. Let somebody else find him. Closet. Open it up, hurry. Put the light on. That-a-boy. Come on, push it in. Put him right up on the shelf here. I'll get the sheet off him. Take it easy. Give me a hand over here. Let's get outta here. Hurry up. Turn out that light. Come on... Wait a minute. If they find that cart in there, Wellman might tie this up to you. Go get the cart. "Go get the cart. " Hurry up, hurry up.! That's all I do. All I do is the work. Come on, come on.! Hurry up. Get it out there. Come on, make it snappy. Move it right in here before somebody comes along and catches us. There ya are. Put it in there. I'm pushin', I'm pushin'. Hurry up, hurry up! Close the door. That's a load off my mind. Oh, boy, and how. Are you excited? I am. Whew! Oh, boy. Am I glad that's over with. Thank you for everything. We were in a mess there for a couple minutes. Get right out of that disguise, and hurry up. I'm tired out. I'm gonna lie down. Take care of these. And don't disturb me. Casey! Didn't I tell you not to disturb me? And you haven't hung up my hat and coat yet! I can't depend on you at all! No! No! Where's the cart? Right there. Oh. Scared you, didn't it? Mm-hmm. I'll confess. You did it? Oh, certainly not! Aha! Ya big dope. It's Milford, Strickland's secretary. What's he hangin' around here for? He's dead, ya dope. We've gotta get this body out of here; get the cart ready. Ohh! Ohh! What's the matter now? He's dead! It's Relia.! Hey, wait a minute, wejust left him down in his room.! There's something funny going on. Uh-huh. Dead men can't walk. This one did. He did. We can't go back to Relia's room; we might bump into the Inspector again. Yeah... I got an idea. What? Take 'em to the card room; there's nobody playin' cards at this hour of the night. We take 'em down there and dump 'em off. Good idea! Give me a hand. Casey. What? Maybe they don't play cards. Will you talk sense, please? Get these bodies out of here. Come on! Oh, uh... Oh, maid! Say, you're, uh, new here, aren't you? Yes, it's my first night. Well, you certainly must have been busy. Mmm. Look at all this laundry. Don't do that! Don't do that, you... Say, you know something? You're kinda cute. Look, why don't you let your work go for a while... and, uh, stay down here and keep me company. Things have been awfully dead around here tonight. Much deader than you think. Mm-hmm. Ohh! No, you don't, now. Don't do it. Hey... What's going on here? It's getting so a poor working girl isn't safe anymore. Excuse me. The desk phone. Let's get outta here. Get rid of these bodies. Okay, I'll get 'em out. What are you talking that way for? I'm all mixed-up! Huh? Who? Freddie Phillips, the bellboy? No, Inspector Wellman, I haven't seen him. No, sir, nobody's left the hotel tonight. Casey? Oh, yes, he's down here now. Oh, you'll be down. Okay. Let's get out of here. Uh-oh, here comes Abernathy. Ohh. Get rid of that. There's nothing like a nice, sociable game of bridge. Oh, I love bridge. Bridge? With two open hands? We're playing with two dummies. There's a card on the floor; his hand's dead. They're both dead. Oh, no, you don't. That's peeking. Oh, he's always cheating. Have, uh, have you got a match? Mm-hmm. Uh, uh, here's a match. Uh, here. Who got the bid? She did. What'd she bid? Grand slam. You bid a grand slam on that hand? Yes. You know what? What? You're going to get murdered. Excuse me. You oughta have me for a partner; the one you've got's a stiff. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get you all excited that way. Really, I didn't. You know I wouldn't do that for the world, don't you? Get your hand off me. Get your hand off me! I am partially engaged! Now, you leave me alone! No more... What's the matter? I wanna talk to you. Come here. You're so strong! Now that you dragged me out here, what do you want? How 'bout a little smack? Hmm? You know, just a little smack. Mm-hmm. Hmm! What happened? Well, he asked for a smack, so I gave it to him. Get that wagon outta here, change those clothes; I'll see if the coast is clear. Sorry, fellas, but you'll have to play two-handed. Here comes Wellman and Stone. Casey, I been lookin' for you. Where's that bellboy? What bellboy? Freddie! Oh, Freddie Kitzmeyer from Philadelphia. Now there's a regular kid. I mean Freddie Phillips! Freddie Phillips? You mean that little, round, chubby sort of, uh... with the black hair? That's right. The bellhop? He was fired! I know he was fired! What are you tryin' to pull? No, no, no, no... I thought you were tryin' to hide somethin'. Who, me? Yeah, you. Where's Phillips? I wish I knew. What a detective! I told you not to let Phillips out of your sight. He's too fat to slip down a rat hole. Where is he? I've told you, I don't know. Maybe he's in his room. No, we stopped there on our way here. Phone headquarters. Get a dragnet out. - Hey, you! Yes? Yes? You and I are gonna have a little talk. I agree with you. Let's talk over here... We'll talk right here. Let's go upstairs. It's more comfortable. My room's a mess up there. What do you know about the murder? Which one? There was three of'em! There was a papa bear, a mama bear and a teeny... Never mind the fairy tales. Why did you kill Strickland? I didn't kill him. I told you before. He's too dumb. What do you call this? Uh... could be ashes. We found it in this guy's room. It's the remains of a linen handkerchief. A burned handkerchief can't prove anything. It does when our tests prove it had bloodstains on it. - I burned it. - So you admit it? Oh, no. Mr. Strickland, he was in the room, he was layin' there dead. I don't know anything like that. I saw the handkerchief there... Wait a minute! Why didn't you tell me this before? I ain't got any sense. I thought everybody'd think I was the murderer. A handkerchief! Might have had a monogram on it or a laundry mark. That one piece of evidence could have led us to the murderer. I think it has. You stop looking at me! Don't jump at conclusions. Let's go upstairs and talk it over peacefully. Now, stop! Stay here. Tell us one thing, Phillips. Were you and Relia in cahoots? The last time I saw Relia, he didn't talk to me. If I could find Relia, I could make him talk. It'd be a good trick. You don't know Wellman. You don't know Relia. I think he's in your room. There's nobody there. Let's go and find out. Will you get your hands... Let's ride up and find out. I'm done. I'm done. Are you coming with me? I'm comin'. I'm such a young boy too. Hey, fellas, you can come up now. Come on, stick with me. What's the problem? What's the matter? Blood. Take it easy, lady. Pull yourself together. What happened? I've been trying to get in here all evening, but no one answered. I finally let myself in and then I saw... that! Whose room is this? Mr. Milford. Strickland's secretary? This case is gettin' screwier every minute. You go to your room. I'll call you if I need you. Any of you people seen Mr. Milford in the last few hours? I was in the lobby late. I didn't see him go out. Okay, we'll start with you, Swami. What are you doing fully dressed at this hour? Just a little game of cards with Mr. Brooks. And you? I was the third hand. And naturally, you two were there? Naturally. Naturally. That makes it convenient. One for all and all for one... as far as the alibis are concerned. And you, Mr. Crandall? I couldn't sleep. I went out for a walk. - Do we take your word or did somebody see you? - I was with him. You people can go back to your rooms. Not you, Phillips or Casey! The rest of you stay here. What about me? You can go. You too, Wilson. I'd like to remain, if I may, Inspector. The reputation of the hotel is involved. Okay. Betty! Why didn't you want me to tell him we were out on the terrace together? Please don't ask me, Jeff. And thanks for not giving me away. Someone in this room knows a lot more than he or she is admitting. I intend to find out who it is. Are you making an accusation? Maybe. You all had a motive for killing Strickland: to prevent his memoirs from being published. Last night he was murdered. Tonight his secretary disappears. Maybe he's still alive, maybe he isn't. He isn't. - How do you know? - Because, I mean... 'Cause that spot on the carpet, that ain't ketchup there. It could mean Milford has been murdered; it might be a red herring. No, that looks more like borscht. You don't have to waste any more time, Inspector. You've got your murderer. I thought so too, but Phillips has come up with an airtight alibi. Thanks, Inspector. Hear that, Casey? I got an airtight alibi. I'm going to locate Milford and Relia if I have to take this hotel apart with my hands. Nobody leaves this hotel without my permission. You can all go now. Not you, Casey! Oh, not you, Casey, huh? I'm sorry you're one of the suspects. I'll do everything I can to get you out. Phillips! I want to talk to you. Me? Yeah. You're in this thing up to your neck... but there was something phony about that bunch of creeps bein' dressed at this hour... so I'm gonna give you one more chance to clear yourself. I'm getting sick and tired of everybody accusing me of murder. You could be the murderer yourself! What are you trying to do, get away? Shut up! Casey, Casey! Now, take it easy. Now listen to me! Talk to him, Casey. As long as Phillips was under suspicion, the real killer felt safe. But now he's going to be pretty anxious to get that handkerchief back. So, Phillips, you're gonna put the handkerchief up for sale. Who's gonna buy a lot of ashes? Nobody but us knows you burned it. I get it. I get it! Ha, ha! I get it too! The one that buys the handkerchief is the murderer. Exactly. So spread the word around that you've got the handkerchief and you'll sell it... for about 5,000 dollars. Sure! Don't try to blow in the meantime. You sure you're smart enough to handle this? Him? I'm plenty smart. I'm going to my hotel room and figure the whole thing out. Yeah? Where's your hotel key? In my pocket where I... Is that so? I had it. Here it is. Oh. I didn't get this for nothing, you know. Here it is. Hey, come on. Where'd you ditch the bodies? In the elevator. In the elevator? Come on. We gotta get rid of those bodies. This one over here. There's no bodies in there. Some dirty crook stole 'em. At least we're rid of'em. Now we've got to find someone willing to pay 5,000 dollars for that handkerchief. Wait a minute, Casey. Suppose the murderer hasn't got the money? Then they're apt to murder you to get it back; either way, they'll show their hand. f they murder me, I'm apt to be killed. That's right. But at least you've proven your innocence. That's true. One way or another, I can't lose. That's right. Ain't I a lucky stiff? Lucky stiff! I should've never left Patterson. Let's go upstairs. I don't need a handkerchief. I have plenty. But I-I'll let you have this handkerchief very cheap. Only 5,000 dollars. 5,000 dollars? You're insane. But it's such a beautiful handkerchief. It's nothing to sneeze at. Neither is 5,000 dollars. Ah, please. Please buy the handkerchief. If you do, I'll let you have it on the easy payment plan: 3,500 dollars down and small monthly payments. 15 months? No. 18 months? No. 21 months is as far as I can go. No! Aye! How'd you make out? Ah, no good. Nobody wants to buy that handkerchief. It's cheaper to kill me. I wish they'd quit stallin' and get around to it. They're getting around to it, all right. It's only a kitten. Bet somebody's puttin' him up to it. Better luck next time. Now they got the Indians after me. Hey, paleface, give me my arrow. You! Another false alarm. I wish somebody'd do something to you. I'm becoming a nervous wreck. Disgusting, isn't it? Have you talked to everybody about that handkerchief? Everybody but Mr. Brooks. Brooks? I just saw him going in the health club. Freddie, this is your last bet. If he's the killer, you'll be vindicated. If he's the killer, I'll be perforated, assassinated, exterminated and marinated. Well, that's that. Just a little longer, Mr. Brooks. All right. Right here, Freddie. This my stall? That's right. Hello, Mr. Brooks. Hello. Takin' a steam bath, huh? Naturally. For a steam bath to do you any good, you got to stay in here at least ten minutes. You gotta find something to do while you're here. Wanna play cards? Mr. Brooks, do you catch many colds? No. Why? Psst-psst. I've got a handkerchief I'd like to sell you. Cheap. 5,000 dollars. Why, that's ridiculous! Hmph. That's enough. You know, the way you're perspirin' now, you could use that handkerchief. It's a big one! I'll take my rubdown in my room, Bozzo. Okay, Mr. Brooks. I'll get you in a minute, Freddie. Okay, Mr. Bozzo. Uh, Mr. Brooks! Mr. Brooks! I'd like to talk to you for another minute! Oh-ho, you. Guy never gave me a chance to cut my price. He could've chiseled me a little bit. Ha-ha. That's all. If you... Casey! If you let me sweat that bellhop a little, I'll get a confession. If nobody falls for the handkerchief gag, he's all yours. There's still a chance that Brooks is the killer. Freddie's working on him now. You've got until tonight to prove it. There's a train outta here at 9:00, and that bunch of creeps are plannin' to take it. You're not gonna let 'em? They know as much about the law as I do. I got to book 'em or let 'em go. I haven't got a thing on 'em. Help! Help! The hotel's burning! It's the health club. Freddie's in there. Come on! Freddie.! Freddie.! Casey! Freddie, where are you? Casey! Wait'll I turn off the steam! Get him out of there, quick! Whew. Somebody was trying to cook my goose. What do you mean? I-I saw a hand come around the corner and he put on a lot of steam. A lot of steam, all the steam he could put on. Full force. I think somebody's trying to kill me. Sounds phony to me. You're just tryin' to divert suspicion for yourself. You're not as dumb as you look. Get your hand off me. I don't want anymore of this from you. I'm a citizen and a taxpayer and it's my taxes that buys you your gun and your badge. It's my taxes that pays your salary every week. You're workin' for me! You're a public servant! So what? Get me another bottle of water. Okay. What? Well, the Inspector's not foolin' with you anymore. You heard what he said. If nothing develops by 9:00 tonight, he's gonna place a charge of murder against you. Murder? Murder? Are you nervous? Gimme the key. Absolutely! Wait a minute. Stand back. What's wrong? Get in. Get in! What's the matter with you? What in the world is that? It's a booby trap. What for? I'm not taking chances of anyone sneakin' in here... and killin' me without me knowing it. You big dope. What's to prevent anybody from coming in those French doors? Ah. It's pretty good, isn't it? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen! Is that so? If the murderer comes in this room by himself, somebody else is gonna carry him out. Why, you dirty double-crosser. We've got it all arranged to have somebody try and kill you and you're trying to prevent it. Ya know... Come here. Come here! I suppose you've got these windows rigged up too? They can't hurt me here. We're three stories up. Boy, are you lucky. Somebody's finally trying to bump you off. Congratulations. Wait until the Inspector hears about this. Oh, boy, oh, boy. Uh... Get me Inspector Wellman. Uh... Oh, look at those bullet holes. Marvelous! Wonderful.! Casey, why is everybody so happy I'm gonna be killed? Boy, are they really after you. Oh, come. Come, put a smile on your face. That's a boy. Sure, enjoy life. That's it. Go in the other room and lie down. Go in and rest. Relax, go ahead. I will. Sure, go ahead. That's swell. Uh, what? He's not in his room? Well, page him in the lobby. Everybody's so happy I'm gonna get murdered. I don't understand nothin' about the whole thing. Uh-oh. Every time I open up one of those closet doors, I always find a dead body. Is there anybody in there? Hmm? Ah. Casey? Casey! I didn't hear you come in. You're supposed to be out there talkin' to Inspector Wellman. People around here are all dyin' to kill me and here you come in resting. Oh, you! Casey! You oughta be embarrassed. That's why you got your face all covered up. Now, come on... Now, Casey... What was the matter with the dark suit? You look good in that one. Fine.! What's the matter? Freddie, what's wrong? What happened? Come in! I wanna show you something! Take it easy. There he is, over there! All right, so you messed up the bed. Relax! No, he was here. Milford. Are you trying to tell me that Milford's body was there and it's gone? Take care of yourself. Take it easy. Go get yourself a drink of water. That'll fix you up. Go ahead. Take it easy. Take it easy. Don't get excited. Go ahead. Wait a minute. What's the matter now? Now what? Where? Milford. Must be a leak in the tub. Come here. Keep quiet.! There's nobody in this suite. Now, uh, uh, shut up! Just to satisfy ya, I'll check. You get on the phone and see if the Inspector's on his way up. - Hurry up. Go on! - All right, all right. That boy don't know what's goin' around here. He don't know what's happening. I know I saw it in there before. When I go back, it ain't there. I was in the other room there, I went in to gargle my throat. And I go down like that. I, I saw it. I was in the bathtub over there. I know I'm not losin' that. I know that. I could be havin' ha... who... su... nation... halluke-inations... but I know I saw it. Hello? Hello. What's a matter now? What are... Come here. Come on, let me in on it. Now what? What? Oh, no, no. Not again. You mean to tell me that Milford was there? He was there. Now, listen. I am getting sick and tired of this nonsense of yours. He was there. Don't tell me that! Milford was there. Milford was there! How could he be? The man is dead. For a dead man, he's sure gettin' around. Listen, I'm gonna prove to you once and for all that he's not here. Is he there? No. Come here. Is he there? No. No. Come here. All right. Is he there? Yes. Milford! Cover it up! There's something strange goin' on here. Somebody's tryin' to scare you out of this room. I know who it is. Him. That's the Inspector. We gotta get rid of him before he finds this body in here. Uh, hello, Inspector. I'm sorry to have bothered you, it was all a mistake. It was just his imagination. That's right, Inspector. You see those three bullet holes in the window? That's only my imagination. That's all. Where were you when these shots were fired? I was sittin' right here, but not for long. Mike Relia! Casey, do you think I'm in the right room? Yes. Stone, go in the bedroom and get a sheet. Bedroom! Not in the bedroom... Shut up. Sure. Shut up! Shut up. I ain't said nothin'. Well, Phillips, what do you know about this? Oh, sure, sure. What do you know about this? Quit stallin'. Now you got two murders to explain. - Better make it three, Inspector. Milford! I pulled the spread down and there he was. Freddie! Freddie couldn't have done this. These bodies were planted here. This one was planted over here... Look, I don't understand the whole thing. In the suite, I got every door locked. That whole room is all booby traps. I'll prove it. I wanna show it to you. Look, Inspector. What in the world is that thing? I'm gonna show you how it works. As soon as I go outside, I leave the door open, I reach in with my hand... and I take this and I put it on the doorknob, get it? If somebody should come in, the door opens up, pulls this down... and hits you on the head. I got French doors rigged up. I'm not worried about these windows because we're three flights up. That door over there, that leads to Mr. Crandall's apartment. Mr. Crandall's a neat man. He wouldn't leave bodies lying around. He did this time. Phillips is telling the truth. I brought those bodies in here. Is that a confession? Of course not. My uncle had nothing to do with the murders. Excuse me. Are you the guy that's been playin' hide-and-seek with Milford and me? I don't know what you're talking about. I found the bodies in my room. I got panicky. There was no other place. I brought them here. How could you find the bodies in your room? I put 'em in the elevator! Nou you put your foot in it. That's good enough for me. I place you under arrest for premeditated homicide. Thank you, Mr. and Miss Crandall. I'll talk to you later. Okay, spill it. Why did you kill those three men? I didn't kill 'em. I don't go around killin' people. But all the evidence points to me. Take me down. Freddie Phillips. What did you say? That wasn't me. Freddie Phillips. Did you call me? Freddie Phillips. Freddie Phillips. Hey, it's comin' from over here. Freddie Phillips. Did I scare you with the bodies? You sure did! Shh. Then listen carefully. If you don't want to die... come to the caverns at 7:30 tonight. Bring the handkerchief. I'll be on the west bank of the bottomless pit. Tell nobody and come alone. Come alone. Come alone. Come alone. Persistent, isn't he? That's a phonograph record. It's coming from the basement. Anyone recognize the voice? I don't know anybody who lives in there. I think our plan has worked out. Freddie'll go to the cavern and catch the murderer red-handed. Last chance to clear yourself. I'm not going to the caverns by myself. I'm afraid! Wait a minute. Would you rather die a hero or live like a rat? Well? Get the cheese ready. Casey, look. It says, "Do not enter. " Shucks. Just when I was lookin' forward to goin' in. Well, I guess that's that. Mm, mm, mm. Freddie, you go ahead alone. It's nearly 7:30. It's dark in here. Go ahead. We won't be far behind ya. When you find the guy that wants that handkerchief, yell. Go ahead! Go ahead! Do I have to? Yes! Pardon me, are you the man that wants to buy the handkerchief? Whoo. You. Now, where could he have gone so quickly? Whoo. Freddie. Hey! What is that? It's only an owl. Let's find Freddie before something happens to him. Come on! Well, what do we do now? Looks like the killer's outsmarted us. We've gotta get to Freddie. There's another entrance about a half-mile down. Come on. What's the matter? I turned my ankle. You'll have to go on without me, boys. You can't miss it. It's the first big turn to your left. Go ahead, boys. I'm going back to the hotel. C-C-Casey! Casey! Casey! Casey.! Was that an echo? Was that an echo? Inspector Wellman! Sergeant Stone! Casey! Are you still behind me? Inspector Wellman.! Sergeant Stone.! Casey.! Are you still behind me? - I'm all alone. Oh, no, you're not. Oh, yes... Wow. That's the biggest thing I ever saw. "Beware of bottomless pit. If lost, do not wander around. Call for guide. " Mr. Guide. Mr. Guide! I'll sit here and wait for him. Oh, I wish the guy that wanted that handkerchief would come and take me outta here. I don't like it here. A movin' rock! Eeew. I gotta get another candle. Hmm. Come on. It ain't gonna work. Not that one. Hey, hey. Aaah. Ahh. I'll get another candle. Hey, mister. Hey! What happened... Whoa! Oooh! Whoa! Whoa-oh! Whooo! Careful. Careful, I say. Hang on. Hang on, Freddie. Get up here and I'll help you. Come on. A little closer. Take my hand. Give me the handkerchief and I'll save your life. Save my life... and I'll give you the handkerchief. No. Whoo-ooh. This could've been serious. Casey! Oh, Casey! Wow! Hoo-hoo! Oh, Casey! Inspector Wellman! Hang on. Catch the rope. Throw it down, will ya? Atta boy. Good work. Good work, if I can catch it. Get... Aye-eee. Hey, get the rope a little closer! Can't ya get the rope a little closer? Atta boy. Oh, why do ya... Why do ya keep it... Why don't you make up your mind? Hey! I think my coat is caught. Whoo! Whoa-ohh! Tie it around your waist. Yeah. Yeah. - Are you ready? - Okay. Okay. First floor. Freddie! Freddie Phillips! Now, I'll have the handkerchief. I haven't got it. But if you get me outta here, I'll take you where it is. It's in my room. I'll find out where. What are ya doin'? What are ya doin'? What are ya doin'? In two minutes, the water will be over your head. Casey! Casey! Casey.! Casey.! Where are you, Phillips? I think it came from over there. Inspector Wellman! A fine way to end up, a drain plug. He isn't in here. Look! Where's Casey? Did you see who the killer was? The killer did it. Did you see who he was? No, he had a slicker on and a mask on his face. What about the handkerchief? I told him it was in my bedroom. Come on. We've still got a chance to nab him. Oh! Oh-ho. My trap, it worked! I got him! I got him! My trap got the killer. Come on, get it up. Oh-ho. I knew it was gonna work. Get that killer up. Casey. You lunatic. Why didn't you tell me you reset that thing? I set that trap to catch the killer. Ohhh. So you must be the killer. Nonsense! What are you doin' up here? My ankle hurt. I come up to lay down. You come up here to get the handkerchief. You're crazy. Is that so? It's all beginnin' to add up. You're tryin' to frame me. You're the only guy in the room with me when the body was moved around. Shh. I wouldn't put it past you if it wasn't your voice outta the ventilator. You were standing alongside of me. So, you're a ventriloquist, huh? Freddie, don't talk like that. I'm your friend. My friend? You're tryin' to kill me! Inspector, I demand you arrest this homicidal maniac. Uh, uh, uh... Tut-tut-tut-tut. Nothin' I can do to help you now. Stop puttin' ideas in the Inspector's head. He doesn't need to. I'm glad you're all here. It saves the trouble of me sendin' for you. Sit down. Casey's the murderer. I caught him by myself. Quiet. No help whatsoever from the Inspector. Shh. I caught him. Caught him all by myself. Uh, uh... Mr. Melton. The murderer. Will you stop that? I've known for some time why Amos Strickland was killed: to keep him from finding out that his secretary Milford had been blackmailing Crandall. Milford? Exactly. Strickland knew nothing about it. When you phoned him that you wouldn't pay another penny, he came down here... to find out more about it. But Milford couldn't have killed Strickland. He was 400 miles away. So he must've been working with somebody in this hotel, a partner in the blackmail. Casey, blackmailer. Now I know how you can afford to smoke them 20c cigars. You killed Strickland so he couldn't get to Crandall who had the goods on you. Freddie, you shouldn't talk like that. We're cousins. We have the same blood. Yes, and I wanna keep mine. Milford knew Strickland was going to be killed, so he rounded up former clients... to have them on the scene in order to throw suspicion in many directions. Please. What about the memoirs? Fake. Milford invented them to get you down here. Strickland had no intention of retiring. Any lawyer that would publish a book like that could never expect to get another client. Pretty cute, eh? You and Milford? I wanna tell you, I'm glad they caught you. Please, please. Folks, see that? He's tryin' to choke me. He don't know his own strength. Did you see that? Like that. When Relia disappeared, I suspected that he was Milford's accomplice. But when Relia and Milford were found dead, I knew that I had to look someplace else. You're lookin' at him now. Stop that! Believe me, I'm innocent. You're innocent? You're innocent? Well, let me tell you somethin'! I forgot what I was gonna say. You lucky boy. Why Relia was murdered is one of the angles of this case that still puzzles me. I have a theory. You remember the murderer stole Relia's gun for the killing. - Perhaps Relia found out and had to be put out of the way. - Brilliant deduction, Melton. You're right. It was Casey! He put the gun in my room so everybody would be suspicious of me. Why did the killer take the bodies from the elevator and leave them in my uncle's room? That was very obvious. Oh, will you shut up! You tell it to her. When Phillips was no longer under suspicion... the killer hoped to make Mr. Crandall number one suspect. See? I'm glad that's cleared up. Now at this point... the killer's remaining problem was to recover the incriminating handkerchief. Handkerchief! That's it. Casey come in here lookin' for the handkerchief and he couldn't find it. Clever deduction. Except for one thing, Mr. Melton. Casey was one of the few that knew there was no handkerchief. Phillips burned it. Inspector, I found what we were looking for. Thank you, Sergeant. I have a confession to make. You did it? Oh, no, no. I kept you here to give Sgt. Stone a chance to go through your rooms. There's mineral mud in the caves, so whoever was in there would have it on their shoes. All right, everybody. Get back against that wall. Quick. Don't try anything. You can't get away. I think I can. Are you going out that door? I am. Aha. That's in case the big one didn't work. There he is, Inspector. Get him outta here. I want all you folks to go down to the Champagne Room and have some lemonade on me. Nice work. You can have your job back too. Thank you, Mr. Crandall. Casey, never once did I believe you were the murderer. I knew it all the time. I was usin' you as a decoy. It's okay, kid. See you downstairs. Okay, Casey. Nice fella. Freddie, I wanna congratulate you. Without all those booby traps, we could have never solved this murder. Thank you. I'm gonna change out of these wet clothes. Sure. Ohhh! Yeeee! This one I completely forgot about. |
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