Fergusson, don't be an idiot !
We know you're in there !
Surrender. Think of your mother.
I don't have a mother.
- Then your father.
- I don't have a father either.
- Your sister.
- Not a sister, either.
- Your aunt.
- No aunt.
Think about what you want, but come
out with your hands to heaven !
I don't know how to think about hell
or heaven, just killing and dying !
Here I am, cops !
Seven, eight... One, two.
What the hell is he doing ?
Stop ! Is he mad ?
Even scums now dare do crazy things !
- Calm down.
- Tell him to get lost !
Sorry. He thought he was doing
something nice.
- It was an idea.
- You get lost too !
In police films, he is professionaI.
After 30 films...
After 30 films, he still hasn't
been successfuI !
Is it possible
that while someone is dying
he starts dancing like Gene Kelly
in ''Singing in the Rain'' ?
- That was James Cagney.
- I'll stick him to my balls.
And to James Cagney's balls,
I'll stick that shitface !
But I can't stick an agent Iike you
to his balls
- because he doesn't have any !
- Do you want to see them ?
Show them to your sister !
Why are they so low ?
You should have them under your chin
because you're a cock face !
Get out ! Go on, get out !
Go away !
Piselleschi, another one !
I thought that in inventing
my death,
he wouId understand that death
is not to be underestimated.
Dangerous actions, especially
when you do them without telling me.
As your agent I must know how you
want to ruin yourself and me.
You can't throw away a fortune.
What fortune ?
Your body.
A body in cinema is important.
It's everything.
But one must know how to expIoit it.
You need a bright director,
not one like Hungry Dog.
You are my agent. Find one.
I already did.
- I toId big Woody about you.
- Who is he ?
- The biggest director today.
- Never heard of him.
That's natural.
Critics, urged on by competition,
ignore his fiIms.
- Let me see.
- What're you doing ? It's a mole.
- What type of films does he make ?
- Suited to masses, easy.
But for a cuItured
and refined audience.
BeIow a superficial simplicity,
there are messages, meanings,
transfigurations,
profane impIications.
Bergman is Ridolini
compared to him.
- Oh, shit.
- Right.
Didn't you want to be an artist ?
This is your chance.
This is the address.
Go and tell him I sent you.
You're not an agent,
you're a friend, a brother.
- How can I thank you ?
- Give me 30% .
- Okay. I'll run to big Woody.
- Stop !
I caII him that, but for you
he is Woudruf Vandenberg Scott.
- What is your name ?
- What ?
- What is your name ?
- Bruno Martel.
- Never heard of it.
- It was a pIeasure.
I didn't want to offend you, but
to take care of your human problem.
- It's taken care of. I don't exist.
- But you want to exist.
- Yes.
- For yourseIf or for others ?
- For others.
- You want to satisfy the audience.
What biggest desire, than continued
unsatisfied sex, haunts man ?
From your words, I notice
the typicaI perpIexity of orphans.
You guessed. As a Frenchman,
I onIy know Nouvelle vague.
Nouvelle vague has become an oId
wave that, upon drawing back,
has left crabs, shrimps,
suffocating fish, chamber pots and...
- And shitfaces !
- I understand.
Show me I am wrong.
I propose a dilemma.
Has art become pornography
or has pornography become art ?
Did you ever ask yourseIf ?
Yes, but why must I be a pioneer
of pornographic art ?
If we'd already be at a point
where the critics say,
''Liv Ullmann's bIow job comes
from a good school.''
''De Niro carried out his
jerk off with extreme vigor.''
''Jane Fonda's ass is very
communicative in the finaI scene''.
If we had come to this,
I'd show more enthusiasm.
My boy, I wouId write up Laurence
OIivier if that were the case,
- not an unknown like you.
- The producer.
- Martel.
- Hello.
Our product is the onIy serious
thing cinema makes now.
Without looking for other things.
Here is the money
and here is your performance.
No probIem.
You seem okay to me.
Sorry, but I didn't understand.
What film are you taIking about ?
What is my part ?
We'll see during the screen test.
Do what you do in life.
Then you'll thank me.
- Do so naturally.
- I see, a pornographic film.
One ? Two, three !
Until you resist.
We assure you a future.
We'll wait for events to take place
and then sign a contract.
I don't do it for money,
but for need.
How much ?
Pull out the merchandize.
- What ?
- Show your dick.
If I don't see the merchandize,
how can I estabIish the vaIue ?
- Actually...
- Come on. Down with your trousers !
Hurry up.
How tiresome !
- What a knock out !
- Not bad.
Is your erection difficuIt, easy,
resistant... How is it ?
There's no problem.
San Pancrazio from Portobello, save
us from the lighting of this bird.
Saint Veronica from BatacIava, save
us from the earthquake of this dick.
- Miracle !
- Holy, shit. How do you do it ?
It's a secret.
A star is born !
I wiII be your pygmaIion !
- Morgana, I am too nervous.
- Anne, it's over in a haIf hour.
You are a professionaI.
- Hey, get out of there !
- It's you !
- What're you doing here ?
- Finally we ceIebrate !
The worId is rotten,
but sooner or Iater it pays back.
- Did you sign a new contract ?
- I'm full of money.
- We'II spend it together tonight.
- Get the hell out of here !
I have a gift for you.
- What is it ?
- Open it. You'll see.
WiII you get the hell out of here
or not ?
- You coming to the producer too ?
- I'm tired.
- I posed an hour.
- You paused and are tired ?
- I said ''posed''.
- Oh, ''rose'' !
I rose too, but I'm not tired.
I am, if you want
to pIay with fire.
No, not tonight.
I need tenderness.
- Did you Iike the gift ?
- What gift ?
I forgot it on the set !
What was it ?
It's as if I brought you
a piece of shit instead of a gift.
You didn't even Iook at it.
Thanks.
Why did you give it to me ?
- It's not the first time.
- It's Iike a pay back this time.
- That's not so.
- Then why are you compIaining ?
For everything.
I am tired of your hero attitude.
- You're a shitface who thinks...
- That's makes three !
Shitfaces are like cherries,
one leads to another.
Can't you see I have a Iife
of my own and am satisfied ?
I don't give a darn about
the buIIshit you do,
about your shitty career,
about your crisis that you soIve
in being disappointed with Iife.
These amazing thighs beIong to
the Lumiere brothers,
the pioneers of cinema.
They're all pigs,
but you are the worst.
Bergman is Ridolini compared !
Thanks.
It's a good deaI.
Here are the two Iead roIes.
Bruno MarteI... Come.
And Doris Falci.
Falci, Martel,
what a loveIy couple !
Doris, get to know him, so you
will be more credibIe on the set.
Good girI.
She is a virgin. That is, the first
time she gives it away on the set.
Doris, we'll do enormous
things together.
He is right.
It is important that I Iike you.
I can't do it against my will.
Hey, I'm not in the sky.
I'm here on earth.
I'm just passing through.
I won't be there.
Don't beIieve what I will
Iet you do to me tomorrow.
It's a joke. I won't be there.
If you see me, you must think,
''Why isn't she here ?
Where is that idiot ?''
MeanwhiIe you'll squeeze my wrist,
extend your arm and back up.
You'll put the other hand on your
forehead and Iook cIoseIy at my face
as if you wouId Iike to draw it.
- Look at what a beast !
- ImbeciIe, are you aIready drunk ?
Artists are aIways
kicked out impoIiteIy.
AII he can do is sell commodes.
I've been preparing years
to recite OpheIia.
I can even make a person
Iike you, cry.
I was born to act,
but they want me as I am here.
They will delay my career.
I'll recite it for you one night.
- What an oId hag !
- No, this is a lilly.
I Iike you very much.
What is he doing ?
Lotar, kick him out !
- Lousy two-bit actor !
- I'll wait for you, my Iord !
- Go to the convent !
- I'll wait for you, my lord,
because once you Ied me to beIieve
you loved me.
Don't beIieve in anything. Listen
to me, the worId is full of shit !
You must not think.
I will heIp you.
How can one not think ?
You're stupid if you can.
You'd Iike to Iive
without Iooking behind you,
but I wiII do so for you.
What IoveIy shouIders you have !
They are so wide !
They Iook Iike an airport.
Shall we take off ?
Disgusting pig ! Scum !
- Die !
- I don't want troubIe.
Call the poIice !
Get out of the water.
CaII the poIice. Out !
A spIash, for the Iove of God !
- Don't use the name of God.
- Are you a priest ?
No, an atheist exhibitionist.
- Christians aren't treated so.
- You're a Christian ? You, faggot.
You can be a Christian
and have sex with your ass.
He is right. The souI is the souI,
and the ass is the ass.
- What did you do ?
- Nothing.
- Then why are you here ?
- Because I'm bIack.
- Is that a crime ?
- No, a mystery.
He's not the onIy one.
Listen, I want to tell you something.
- Are you Iistening ?
- I have to piss in the open.
- It's a busy john.
- Shut up, sIut.
I don't know how to answer
certain fundamentaI questions.
Who the fuck am I ? Where the fuck
am I going ? Who the fuck made us ?
I don't know a fucking thing.
- Do you know who fucking made you ?
- Yes.
- That shithead father of mine.
- I meant in the universaI sense.
- Who cares about the universe !
- You don't care about the universe !
Stop compIaining.
- I was just asking.
- You're too afraid.
Me ? No. If I want...
AImost aII the eviI done
is because of fear.
Everyone is afraid.
I am, but I know it.
- What do you know ?
- Nothing.
But I can expIain
why you are afraid.
- I don't give a damn anymore.
- You shouId know.
Look here.
This is a scaIe,
a scaIe of vaIues.
Here there is everything
that you think is necessary.
In the Iower section are the vaIues
that interest you,
and you don't know that on top
are vaIues that count most of all.
When you are deprived of them,
you get angry
and your pride is hurt,
and when the chain is broken
for a moment
you feeI the cIean air.
A vaIue that gives man dignity
and you enjoy as a memory
of the goIden age
when there were no judges or
accused, guiIty or innocent,
and animaIs and men Ioved one
another, didn't destroy one another.
On the Iast step is freedom.
For it, one must be abIe to scream,
to be desperate, desire, kill !
- Kill !
- Even kill ?
Yes. Life is not a vaIue in itseIf.
It depends on how you Iive it.
If you can no Ionger hope,
you can onIy shoot !
- Shoot. Shoot !
- Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot ! Yes, shoot !
It's 6 in the morning.
Sergeant Killer and his men
wish a good morning
to all the bastards in this sewer.
In 15 minutes questioning
will begin.
Untie your beIts and don't forget
personaI beIongings.
The exit is at gate 5. Thank you.
With all respect to minorities,
I have nothing to do with
the fags of the Turk bath.
- Who asked you ?
- I was just thinking.
It was a voice off stage.
Shitface. I know your type
and know how to treat them.
You are a foreign prostitute
who goes to Turk baths.
No, you are wrong.
Bruno MarteI.
Father and mother unknown.
Born in Paris about 1944.
NaturaIized EngIish
for marriage to Anne SIimpton.
Living in London.
Profession, motion picture actor.
Who is that shit
that soId you this ID ?
You threw your money away.
Press charges.
It's true. It's not credibIe.
Nobody will beIieve it.
How can peopIe beIieve
bullshit Iike this ?
A person Iike this does not exist,
not even in a fiIm.
That's what the producers say
when they want to interfere
in the script.
But I'm not a script.
You are not a producer,
and you can't manipuIate me.
You want to insuIt me ?
Speak cIearIy.
Come on. Say I am a shitface.
Come on, speak !
- Producers aren't so bad.
- Come on, confess !
The commander of the Bounty compared
to you is a sociaI worker.
I have to screw this prostitute
otherwise he'll get off on baiI.
Do you have 100 pounds ?
No, but if I caII my wife...
I am really Bruno MarteI, actor.
ReguIarIy married, I swear.
Your wife knows you go with fags ?
Let's hear.
- Hi, Anne.
- It's you.
You have to get me out of here.
I am in troubIe.
- With the poIice.
- I can't, I can't !
I am tired of your hero attitude.
It's over !
She found out.
Are you caIIing your husband now ?
No, my agent. He has to advise the
production. Maybe they are worried.
I am curious to know
what the hell kind of fiIm it is.
I convinced him to give me
baiI money.
Next time you will stay inside.
- Who did you convince ?
- Your producer.
He Iet you out, otherwise
what shitfaces wouId work today ?
Don't say it or he'll beIieve it.
You're joking. MeanwhiIe he'll take
that money from your pay.
- He'll take it from you ?
- No.
What are you compIaining about ?
- You can't do what you want.
- AIain DeIon does.
But what he does is pubIicity,
and what you do is bullshit.
- Mr. Vandenberg !
- Call me Excellency !
- Excellency...
- No, Highness.
- Highness...
- No. Majesty is better.
- If Your Majesty allows...
- I don't aIIow, idiot !
Finally !
I was beginning to worry.
The scene is ready.
What does it Iook Iike ?
The john isn't dirty enough.
Away with toiIet paper. I want smell
of shit and pieces of newspaper.
- Okay. Carry out !
- Don't get upset !
Remember, nuances !
Otherwise it will be a scene
without psychoIogicaI finesse.
Nuances my ass !
The girI goes into the bathroom,
Bruno, with King Kong,
break down the door.
He screws her from the front, him
from the back. What do you want ?
You must Iet me work.
You'll ruin everything Iike that.
- Who is King Kong ?
- What did this idiot understand ?
- He is King Kong !
- I don't know what to think.
I'll tell you what you have
to think.
Your eyes must portray
impIoration and terror.
Terror creates excitement in man.
PIeading creates lust.
You must give Bruno and the spectator
an aIibi to attack you
with savage frenzy.
It must be a doubIe sort
of vioIence.
- Understand ?
- I will obey, my Iord.
Shit. The gIass !
SiIence ! Camera. Ready !
''The Tree of SIuts'',
Stop ! Action !
I shouId say it.
Otherwise, the production
gets angry with me.
- I have an idea.
- What is it ?
- Did they hurt you yesterday ?
- I don't know.
You were paIe. Your knees were
trembIing and your gaze was bIank.
As if you'd gotten out of hell
and were about to tell me
its horrors.
My OpheIia.
We are in it up to our ears.
I envy your detachment.
You're either a lunatic
or an angeI.
Good, Woody, great idea !
I was inspired by Sade.
He wrote a Iot on the topic.
- Who ?
- The Marquis de Sade.
Doris, there is a variation.
Before the rape,
I want to see you...
evacuate.
I want you to free yourseIf.
You go into the john and do it.
That's where it is done.
Come on !
Come on. Measure the fire.
SiIence ! This is a serious john,
no bullshit.
Ready ? Doris, are you ready ?
Remember to be naturaI.
The sequence will be unforgettabIe.
Me, the most desoIate,
the most forIorn among women.
I who have tasted honey,
the music of his Iove words,
reduced to hearing
his sovereign word,
Iike a sweet bell
that because of a crack
- gives a faIse ring.
- Stop ! The scene sounds faIse.
- Let us hear some noises.
- It's not possibIe.
- It isn't possibIe ?
- I don't have to go.
I couId pretend, recite the scene.
No, the scene wouId be shitty !
In fact !
The pubIic is not interested
in your efforts as an actress.
- I'm sorry.
- You must. It must not be fake.
Without reaI shit,
the sequence Iacks in credibiIity.
Visconti used reaI ShaIimar
in his bottIes of perfume.
Forget ShaIimar.
We need the smell of shit here !
All of you get to work !
I am the one pulling out the money !
- You, get down.
- At the first sign, we shoot.
Dear, smoke this.
To shit or not to shit,
that is the question.
Is it more nobIe to put up
with coIics and stomach aches,
or reIax and shit, shit !
- There. Action !
- Stop ! I say action !
- It wasn't her.
- The first who farts, I fine.
- Except you who are professionaI.
- Doris...
- Nothing yet ?
- It was not in the contract !
The director got this idea
just a IittIe whiIe ago.
I couIdn't imagine.
- It makes my head dizzy.
- Is it coming ?
That's it. Good girI.
She's crying for the effort.
Good girI.
She's crying and that's all.
She's being tragic.
- We'll never get out of this.
- What's to come out, isn't.
What are you Iaughing about ?
We're Iosing my money !
What can I do ?
My grandfather said,
''When the hoIe doesn't open,
it's time for cod Iiver oiI.''
Shithead !
Everest, the souI-shitter.
Come on !
I'll show you.
Shit, dear.
Shit, shit.
One... And again one.
Here.
- What is it ?
- CoId orange juice. It will heIp.
A horse's dose.
What did you give me ?
What did you give me ?
It shouId be easy.
These peopIe make you shit.
Just Iook at them.
Look at them, Doris.
AIright. Look at us, but shit.
We'll settIe accounts Iater.
BeautifuI expression of fear.
- There !
- What did you give me ?
Back to our combat positions.
- Camera.
- SiIence. We're shitting.
Stop !
Stop ! Leave me aIone ! No !
Leave me aIone !
Leave me aIone ! Stop !
- He's crazy.
- Wait for me, my Iord !
I beIong to you. Wait for me.
I won't be a burden to you.
Here I am for you,
my sweet Iord.
He broke my nose.
- This is a fantastic scene.
- Hey, Majesty !
If you wanted to fiIm shits,
now you have three in the john.
Very regaI.
Bruno, wait !
Wait !
Are you stiII feeIing a tempest ?
I feeI Iike I have vipers
in my insides.
As a chiId I had tapeworm,
but it didn't bother me.
Bruno, Iet's stop a moment.
No, it's too disgusting.
Come on.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What is that ?
- The teeth of my dead grandmother.
- And that ?
- The Ieg of my dead grandfather.
Her name is Bessy.
She aIready had the measIes.
I don't feeI good.
What did those pigs give me ?
- Why is your girIfriend crying ?
- She's not my girIfriend.
She has a stomach ache.
Even my sister Anne
aIways had a stomach ache
before throwing her IittIe ones
in the john.
- Your sister's name is Anne ?
- It was. She's dead.
- Her boyfriend shot her.
- At Ieast one !
I think you wiII die too.
- Why do you think ?
- Mom moved about Iike her
when Dad poisoned her
with the rat poisioning.
Then she died.
What a nice hat.
WiII you give it to me ?
I'm going to give Bessy miIk.
Bye.
Bruno.
Bruno, you think one day
aII the Earth will be Iike this ?
SureIy.
Then we better get used to it.
Let's stop !
The two of us surviving.
''2005 Trash Odyssey''.
A fantastic fiIm.
Don't taIk about it to anyone.
I can't stand it anymore.
I feeI sick. I can't stand it.
- Then do it.
- I can't, outside.
Wait. Nothing is missing here.
God, it hurts !
Come on.
- There's no key. I'll stand here.
- Good.
When you have a commode,
you can buiId a house around it.
It's the most important piece,
a cuIturaI conquest.
The rest comes by itseIf.
There's everything here.
OpheIia, you've been in the john
two hours. We must go to the party.
You know the managing director is
there. I have to think of my career.
HamIet, since you stopped doubting,
you've become a sociaI cIimber.
You act Iike a dreamer, but desire
a comfortabIe house and a man.
- I want to give you that.
- My Iord,
the awkward duck has become
a swallow.
I taIk Iike OpheIia
because I don't know how to taIk.
I don't know anything.
Nobody taIks to me
to say anything.
They give me orders,
and just give me signaIs.
Go right, don't waIk here, go there,
watch out for falling rocks.
So if they faII on your head
they can say, ''We toId you !''
- Who are you ?
- And who are you ?
I can't get you.
Is that all ? If you want to come
to bed with me, it's no probIem.
I meant get you, as a type.
Are you crazy or a Iunatic ?
Don't be interested in me.
- Go to a convent.
- You go in the kitchen and cook.
Remember I am a reaI person. Come
back with your feet on the ground.
I am, even if I have become
a swallow, I don't know how to fIy.
Hide.
Get down.
Keep down !
Down !
- What is that ?
- A piece of junk.
It doesn't move.
- But it is breathing.
- SureIy it's not a man.
He raised his head.
They threw him away Iike
an oId chamber pot.
Where is your handIe ?
I threw it away
so it is harder to get me.
It must be a mouse.
They become big here.
- You are oId and still joke.
- It's not a mistake to be oId.
If you wasted your Iife, it is.
I think you wasted it.
Stop !
I didn't waste anything
and can show it.
Good !
What wouId you do if
I gave it to you ?
Yes. What wouId you do ?
I'd take it.
- How much money wouId you give ?
- 40 pennies. Take it or Ieave it.
eIse in those ripped pockets ?
I didn't go to the bank.
Shithead ! You have what
you are worth. 40 pennies !
I can't be a shithead and escaped
convict at the same time.
You're not funny. He's shitting
in his pants. He's offending us.
He said son of a bitch.
Don't speak badIy of my mother.
You're ruining the Iandscape.
You offend this trash.
- Let's teach him a Iesson.
- You'II disappear from the Earth.
Hey, you. Leave him aIone !
He's a poor oId man
who has not done anything.
Who are you ?
We didn't do anything !
You can't take it out on us.
We are cinema actors.
They know us. You'll get in troubIe.
What are two actors doing here ?
- What do you care ?
- What fiIm are you doing ?
An action fiIm.
Action fiIms disgust me.
They are uneducationaI.
- Do a musicaI for us !
- Yes, a duet, come on !
- Dance !
- Sing !
Come on, or I'll shoot you
in the mouth !
- You are disgusting. Change fiIm.
- Yes. This one makes me cry.
We're pIaying Deer Hunter, but I'm
not stupid. I'll onIy Iet you pIay.
Your star has entered the
constellation of the opposite sign.
- The poIice is coming !
- Let's go. The poIice !
What heroes ! Ass heroes.
Come on.
Come on.
Come with me. I know a safe pIace.
- And the poIice ?
- I never asked for their heIp.
We're coming !
This way.
GaribaIdi aIways toId me,
''You're not born for onIy one worId.''
My Anita was right.
I shouIdn't have Ieft her Iike that.
As soon as I have the money,
I'll go back to her and end it.
- Who are you taIking about ?
- MyseIf, Peppino GaribaIdi.
He was wounded. I'm an orphan.
But Anita is waiting for me.
- Who is she ?
- Anita...
Anita... I don't know you enough
to teII you.
Look, an UFO !
- It's true !
- It's an UFO !
- It's a fIying saucer.
- No, it's Venus.
- There's an orange Iight.
- It's moving. I'd never seen one !
- Someone is up there !
- It's Venus. It mirrors the sun
and it refIects beIow. The cIouds
pass and it seems Iike it's moving.
How do you know these things ?
I know more things
about the sky than about Earth.
Then it's nothing.
Do you want to Iook at the pIanet
Anita ? Look.
CongratuIations. She's cute !
Your grandmother is cute !
The coup of the century !
There's enough for everyone !
Hey, stop !
Stop, siIence !
Is it possibIe the girI's
reasoning can quickIy disappear
Iike the Iife of an oId man ?
You must sing !
I must think that you will never
return. On the death bed,
his sad fate ends.
He will never return !
I weIcome you with joy,
oh, repugnant chiIdren of Troy !
In this house, science at the service
of pity, will save you.
Weight.
- Let me out. It's too disgusting.
- I'll ask GaribaIdi.
- GaribaIdi, we're trapped.
- There's no trap without a hoIe.
One just has to find it.
Come on. Now you are free
to manifest yourseIves.
Let yourseIf go.
Don't hoId back your impuIses.
Turn off the current.
Here you can speak the Ianguage
of your puIsions.
Nothing hoIds back freedom
to express itseIf in your body.
You are free to manifest yourseIves.
Let yourseIves go.
Don't hoId back your impuIses.
- Don't Iisten to her.
- I am afraid. I can't.
Free yourseIves by getting
to know yourseIves.
Do so that everything
taIks about you.
Don't keep the pure face
of your freedom in siIence !
Cry it out !
GaribaIdi, we have to fight here.
They want to cure your head here.
If you act Iike a Iunatic, they're
happy. Be smart or you won't get out.
Now that you are free,
you can't back out from the truth.
Idiots, swine, pigs,
sIuts, worms, scums,
debris, commodes,
Iiving farts.
You were given birth
from ass-hoIes.
When shit meets you,
it hoIds its nose.
CIowns.
Buffoons.
Losers, cock heads,
cocks without heads,
reIicts, garbage,
pieces of shits, thieves,
deIinquents,
unempIoyed,
sex maniacs,
fag with broken asses,
Iesbians,
corrupters of minors,
degenerates,
perverts,
disgusting scums,
shit in your pants.
Be a piIIow to the ass of the worId.
Free yourseIves of your famiIy
with crime and eviI.
Get cIose to the purity
of the mother.
Enough !
Enough !
Bastard, scum, drunkard,
worm, commode and swine,
piece of shit, sewer rat.
Besides stinking,
you bring bad Iuck.
You can tell a miIe away
your mother is a cow
and your father a ruffian.
You are pigs who create no wonder.
You can see a miIe away
that your mother is a cow
and your father a ruffian.
You are pigs and it's no wonder
because your famiIy is a pig pen.
You are pigs, and it's no wonder.
I will fIy.
OpheIia !
- Good for her !
- She fIew away !
Who Ieft that window open ?
Don't worry.
She was just a Ioser.
But she couId have faIIen
on the head of an honest citizen.
My Anita aIways sang
a song that said,
''One fine day the cage opened
and the sparrow Ieft.''
Will you take me to her ?
Let's go.
Don't run Iike that. I am
a ''GaribaIdino'', not a ''BersagIiere''.
You'II see how beautifuI Anita is.
They eIected her Miss Risorgimento.
Don't taIk.
- Where are you going ?
- To the morgue. He's dead.
Him too ? Over there.
Point the ocarina at the car.
You are under fire. Down.
- Where are you taking me ?
- You wanted to go to Anita. To her.
You don't even know where she is !
- I know.
- Really ? Then Iet's go.
- I am anxious to hug her.
- You will soon.
Those bastards
of the Mercy House
- put pepper to my ass.
- You don't Iose time.
- ''He who stops is Iost.''
- Keep on going ahead.
But the sign isn't enough.
To find Anita soon, money is needed.
And we are broke.
We are rich with this.
You wouIdn't be abIe to get 10 pounds
for that.
What are you saying ?
I don't sell guns, I use them !
- Are the cIothes back there ?
- Sure.
The way they've arranged them,
passion did not overtake them.
Good. They are dangerous peopIe.
Let's get dressed.
Come on, CIyde !
To you, Bonnie !
- 995, 996...
- Are you happy, Bonnie ?
- 999... 1,000 !
- 1,000 is really your number !
You are disgusting as my girIfriend.
I'll caII you mom.
Did you ever have a driver Iike me ?
- You're a mess as a mother.
- There is onIy one mother.
Damn it !
They're aIready at our asses !
- Bruno !
- What is it ?
- Either move or die.
- Are you afraid ?
It's Iike asking me if I have a hand
or an arm. I aIways have.
- You're a coward.
- No,
in fact, I have the courage
to tell you I am afraid.
I am afraid too !
Oh, my back.
- Are you okay ?
- I think so.
- Nothing broken ?
- I don't do any resistance.
- The money !
- And the gun ?
We're back to zero.
Fuck off !
Amen !
- We were Iucky.
- Are you sure ?
Don't make that face !
You are the type that
when he Ioses his path,
wants to Iose it forever.
You're strange. We are up shit creek
and you seem happy.
I'm thinking of Anita,
my onIy Iove.
I am tired. Let's Iie down here.
Diderot said, ''It's better to sIeep
with a frozen ass,
than with an ice-cream in your ass.''
Mom, wouId you be abIe
to kill for freedom ?
It wouId be an asinine thing to do.
I knew it, Mom.
You are a born sIave !
You are a born shit,
and don't call me Mom.
Freedom doesn't exist.
My freedom and yours exists,
and that of everyone eIse.
Then you're seven times seven.
- 7 times 7 is 49 times...
- Shithead !
But wouId you kill for freedom ?
If I kiIIed to be free,
I wouId no Ionger be free.
I wouId be a poIiceman of freedom.
I see. You speak of guiIts, regrets
and stuff Iike that.
No. Life wears away
our convictions, ideas,
and aII the bullshit
they put in your heads.
Even conscience is an invention
to make you be good.
I wiII hang Anita's panties
to the cords of my souI.
Now Iet me sIeep
and don't break my balls.
Mom ?
Hey, GaribaIdi.
How wonderfuI !
And some peopIe go hunting !
WhiIe my uncIe shot a Iark
the rifIe burst in his hands.
- That's what he gets !
- Did he Iose a hand ?
Yes, his right one. He had to Iearn
to masturbate with the Ieft one.
- What do you dream ?
- When I sIeep I never dream.
I dream of being awake.
Do you beIieve in UFOs,
fIying saucers, Martians ?
I beIieve in anything,
as Iong as it's unbeIievabIe.
Last night I saw you taIk
to strange peopIe
who had dicks in the pIace
of their noses.
I don't want to hear buIIshit.
You must have dreamed.
Dreams are never buIIshit.
Even if they are about cocks.
You're right.
Dreams are keys to reaIity.
It means you'll have cock probIems.
Beppo, what the hell kind
of bird is that ?
Look !
Considering what we've come to...
HeIp wanted.
Hey, is anyone here ?
Take off my hat. Good morning.
- What is it ?
- Who ?
- You two.
- I don't know.
- Then good-bye.
- Just a moment !
My friend doesn't reason
before having coffee.
- It's cIosed.
- We saw the sign.
- I put it there.
- Are you the owner ?
Can't you teII ?
We are Iooking for a job.
- In those conditions ?
- Did you see ?
- You shouId Iook into it.
- There's a reason for everything.
It's a shitty hour,
but I'll open.
- Is he your girIfriend ?
- Yes... weII, sort of.
As a girIfriend, she's a scag.
- They stoIe our cIothes.
- I don't care who you are.
I Iike cIarity.
I am Bruno and he is GaribaIdi.
He adopted me as a son,
but as a mother he's a fIop,
and as a son
I am a degenerate.
AIso because I've never had parents.
Are you crazy ?
- She's taIking to you.
- No, you. She keeps Iooking at you.
- Who were you taIking to ?
- To both of you.
See ?
- Go in the kitchen and wash dishes.
- GaribaIdi washing dishes ?
- Yes.
- I obey.
And you, the pump.
Room and board.
Money isn't necessary because
there are no distractions here.
OnIy Iife is spent.
And no amount can pay for it,
so it can be thrown away free.
You'll sIeep in the shack
behind the pump.
Put on the overalls
you will find hanging.
- Where is that hotsy FIorence ?
- Where she feeIs Iike it.
- She's probabIy getting screwed.
- That's her shit.
Pompadour, don't be so stuck up !
UgIy sIut, where are you ?
Come out, swine.
You're still here !
Why didn't you heIp me
this morning, damn you ?
Do you want to make me go crazy ?
You do it on purpose.
Say it, damn sIut !
- I know you do it on purpose.
- No. I thought it was earIier.
You scared me.
I thought you had run away.
I know you're an oId sIut
and will never change.
It's not your fauIt,
but I aIways think about it.
I have an obsession in my brain
which repeats,
''She Ieft, she Ieft, she Ieft.''
I am here. I won't Ieave you !
Thanks, thanks, thanks.
Give me some coffee.
No, so you'll Iearn to throw it.
Disgusting whore, I'll bust you open
if you don't give it to me.
I was kidding. You know I give in
to your shitty bIackmaiI.
Damn whore,
don't try to get smart.
You know I am tough even if I'm onIy
Who the fuck are you ?
Where the fuck do you come from ?
What the fuck do you want ?
I've aIways asked myseIf, too.
I hired him. He works at the pump
and GaribaIdi in the kitchen.
- GaribaIdi ? You're shitting me.
- Did you call me ?
They are content with food
and Iodging. I need heIp.
You don't need cock ?
With all the truck drivers
that pass by ? That's bullshit.
Ex convicts !
He's a foreigner, sureIy cIandestine.
I don't want probIems.
Throw them out.
I am of French origin,
but I have an EngIish passport.
- I am IegaI.
- French !
I've known a Iot Iike him capabIe
of shooting in their boss' back.
I don't want them.
Throw them out !
They wouIdn't hurt
an oId veteran Iike you.
My husband is a hero.
He went to every war possibIe.
A martyr and saint !
They'll put him on caIendars.
Those two are hired !
And I will fire them !
Let's go. Let us know
what you've decided.
- You're not firing anyone.
- What did you say ? Repeat that !
You're not firing them.
Are you surprised ?
Life offers surprises
worse than these.
- You know that well.
- Do as you wish. Keep them.
- They'll compIicate our Iife.
- Or improve it, darIing.
Put it away, in the nest with
the good IittIe brother.
- Are you bored ?
- Pretty much, thanks.
I'm sorry. There aren't
many distractions here,
so one has to take advantage
of the few there are.
I reaIize you don't know
what to call me.
''Mrs. FIorence'' is funny.
''Madam'', absoIuteIy not.
CaII me Fiorenza.
It's my reaI ItaIian name.
The foreigners here
are a minority.
It'II be a IittIe secret
among us exiIed.
I don't care about the name. Just so
I don't break your husband's balls.
- Nothing pIeases him.
- Damn whore.
- What Ianguage were you speaking ?
- Beduin.
- Why ?
- We met in CasabIanca.
Like Humphrey Bogart
and Ingrid Bergman. Romantic.
- Enough.
- TeII me.
I was 18 and was a showgirI
in the city's most eIegant nightcIub.
- I sang and danced.
- And him ?
He was a sergeant major
in the Foreign Legion.
Like Gary Cooper
in the fiIm ''Morocco''.
He came every evening
and devoured me with his eyes.
Erotic cannibaIism.
He sent me orchids
and offered Don Perignon.
Like Greta Garbo
in the fiIm ''Mata Hari''.
He managed to fascinate me,
bewitch me.
So I married him.
I was young and naive.
The dove in the cIaws of the kite.
- How Iong did it Iast ? One year ?
- What an optimist !
- One month !
- I wish !
- One week ?
- Less !
- One day ?
- Five or six hours.
He wanted me to spend our
wedding night with his coIoneI.
In exchange, he wouId have
been promoted to maresciallo.
A miIitary ruffian !
A ruffian in the desert,
a coIoniaI pimp !
- UnfortunateIy.
- Disgusting bitch !
A bastard !
Watch out, kid. Benedetto Croce
said, ''A cock has no shouIders''.
By the way !
What is it ?
''The idiot who points to
a pussy with his finger,
Iooks at his finger instead
of pussy.'' Mao Tse-tung.
- How's it going with her ?
- How shouId it ?
You Iaid her !
I'd eat her if I were you.
She's ready to be served
on a pIatter !
You serve yourseIf.
I have other things to think about.
I enjoy having you at my tabIe.
I can see your faces better.
One aIways begins
with the division of cIasses.
Then the boss calls his empIoyees
at the tabIe
before the boss' wife
caIIs them to her bed.
Pass the beer, whore.
- Nobody caIIed me.
- Me either.
I am surprised because my wife,
besides being a showgirI,
was a very taIented sIut.
Is it true you have
over a decade of experience ?
Pass the saIt, sIut.
Thanks, whore.
You don't have to taIk about
my merits. They've reaIized it.
And your merits
are a Iot more than mine.
Don't be modest. The entire
CommonweaIth got to know you.
Bread, pIease, sIut.
How's the casseroIe ?
Tell me if it's disgusting.
It's a work of art.
You are wasted as a cook here.
Some are content with heated up meaIs
or even staIe ones.
- You've private things to discuss.
- Don't move.
You're my guest.
And you, be seated, sIut !
Nervous ?
Not at all.
- Then, indifferent, which is worse.
- I am doing my job.
I Iiked you ! Good !
It was Iike the scene of a fiIm.
''Soon on these screens.
Suspence, terror.''
When you fill the gas tank,
they don't give you a tip.
They seem embarrassed.
The Ionger you stay here,
the more casuaI you seem.
You don't seem used to serving,
but to taking.
Maybe they think you're the boss.
I'm tired of your hero attitude.
Bruno.
Will you come a minute ?
The stereo doesn't work anymore.
AIready out in the fieIds ?
I don't know who to ask for heIp.
I'm Iost without this.
The batteries are dead.
I can't do anything.
I'll die of boredom.
I'll remove them from Joe's
wheeIchair so maybe he will kill me.
That woman out there is beautifuI.
- Who ?
- The poster one.
She's not for you.
Don't be offended.
I wouId never wear those shoes.
Is someone at the pump ?
I'm coming.
Fill it up.
WouId you fill up this beautifuI
cock sucker too ?
I know why you are nervous !
Screw the boss' wife.
I can't stand it anymore.
I reaIized I don't digest anymore.
- Ever since I Ieft Anne.
- Who is she ?
My wife. We broke up before
I found you in the trash.
- That's her.
- Her ?
I'll Iet you in on a secret.
My Anita is actuaIIy
the Gioconda.
I am serious. She is a photo modeI.
And you stay here
and break your baIIs ?
- Want some advice ?
- No.
Say it.
Go back to her,
or you are ruined.
- Going to London ?
- Yes.
- WiII you give me a ride ?
- Get in.
I'll be right back.
- What the hell are you doing ?
- There's a pimpIe.
I'll call you ''madam'' from now on.
I Iike being inside...
those costume fiIms.
Pretend you are in the kitchen.
I take you and Iean you
over the sink.
Among dirty dishes
and greasy gIasses.
I Iift up your skirt...
You aIready did that.
CaII me ''sir'' !
I know I did it,
but when I describe it,
I get doubIy excited.
So, I pull up your skirt...
and pull down your panties.
And you scream, ''God, what dump
have you taken me to !''
Say it.
God, what dump have you taken me to !
Scream and squirm, big sIut !
I become insane if I don't feeI you
squirming Iike a dog in heat.
What a great pig
I found in the kitchen Ieftovers !
You surprised me.
You shouIdn't have !
Come on, bastard !
Harder, harder !
America, Iand of incredibIe riches !
How I penetrate ! How I penetrate !
You are a reaI wonder !
- Wait.
- Don't change my mind. I decided.
I said to wait
because you won't make it Iike that.
You must make the knot
before throwing the rope.
And if nobody hoIds the stooI,
it'll wobbIe. I'll heIp you.
If someone wanted to come
to this worId, I wouIdn't heIp him.
But I'll heIp those
who want to Ieave it.
It's Iike heIping someone
run away from jaiI.
Yes or no ?
Get on the stooI. I'll hoId it.
I'm onIy sorry
that you won't take me to Anita.
- Say heIIo to Anita for me.
- Don't worry.
Have a good trip.
Are you deaf ? You made me get wet.
Where did you disappear to ?
You can't Ieave when you want,
bastard !
Pieces of shits, Iazy bums !
You asked for a job,
made me argue with Joe,
and then pretend you don't see me
or hear me !
Bastards ! What is this farce ?
You want to get me into troubIe ?
What the hell are you doing ?
Leave me aIone, bastard !
Whoever hinders a prisoner
from escaping is a scum.
Bruno, watch out for the stooI.
Go hang yourseIf somepIace eIse.
Bixio was right,
''Better Bourbons' cannons
than a kick in the balls.''
She even cIoses the pump,
damn whore.
Everyone has a right to be happy.
OnIy free men are happy.
Free men can't be governed.
So men have to be unhappy.
You, who once knew
how to command so well,
ask me, ''May I come in ?''
''Don't stay at the door.
You can come in.''
The things inside here
are the same ones as in Iife.
Come on, come !
Come on. It's not forbidden anymore.
I took away the sign.
It's okay now !
Who are you ? Where do you
come from ? I don't know you.
How did you manage that time
to reach my shore ?
As you see, our bed is here,
but I don't recognize you anymore.
The desk where you Ieaned over
to do accounts by yourseIf,
fondIing money,
stiII keeps me company
with its funeraI cheerfuIness.
How did you manage that time
to reach my shore ?
As you see, our bed is here...
Poplar Police.
Roses come in May
and vioIets come with the coId.
The pussy comes with the cock.
Each fIower has its season.
- OnIy I will drink beer now.
- But...
- Shut up, sIut.
- If you have personaI things to...
No, Iet's taIk about you.
Where did you escape from ?
You must have given your partner
a Iot of troubIe.
You can tell me.
I'm Iike a father to you.
Him, too. It's an obsession.
He was a good father,
even for his soIdiers.
To encourage them,
he shot them in the back.
That's how cowards are to be treated.
Don't be surprised if
they naiI you to a wheeIchair
for a shot in the back.
It was a grenade, damn bitch.
Shitface, cIean your ass
when you taIk to me.
I got the Iegion for this injury.
I didn't want to remind you how much
of a bastard you were.
You shouIdn't have toId me,
damn sIut. I Iove you.
You're right. I have to accept
your love, even if it disgusts me.
All I have Ieft
is that of being a bastard.
I have fun that way.
You, instead, put your hands
on that shit foreign bastard.
Yes, I am crazy about him.
He waIks, he's handsome,
not Iike you. He is Iife !
He who is ostentatious about
his heaIth is eviI.
But you must give Iife to me.
I am haIf dead.
Me ! Me ! Show him what
a horsewoman you are !
Show him how you ride me !
Whoever Ieaves here, I'll kill.
Rid me ! Beduins are foIIowing me
and want to steaI my goId !
Thief ! Gallop more quickIy.
Gallop more quickIy !
To me, the Legion !
Our men are coming !
Bruno MarteI, surrender !
We know you are there.
You're trapped.
- Come out with your hands to heaven.
- Run, Bruno.
I'l do Calatafimi again.
''We either get out or die'' !
Charge !
Run, Bruno. Run !
General, Nino Bixio is coming !
Seven, eight.
One, two...
Wait for me, Anita.
Time has no meaning !
One year more, one year Iess.
We'll meet in Teano !