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Actor for Hire (2015)
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- You spaghetti slurpin' rat, you wanna be number 44? Huh? Nah. Hi. Uh, so whenever you guys are ready, I can just go ahead and start. - Go. - Okay. Uh, I'm Jesse O'Neill, and I'm reading for Donny Donovan. Okay. - Yeah? - Um, yeah. You think you're better than me? - No, I don't. Um... - Well, that's how ya actin'. You know who I am, don't you? Everybody know who you are. You are the best hitman in New York City. 42 people I whacked, you spaghetti slurpin' rat. You wanna be number 44? - Look, I'm very sorry, but wouldn't that make me 43? - Yeah. I'm gonna do your wife first. Then, I'll whack the broad. - Okay. - All right, I got ya meatballs right here. Come and get 'em. Bolognese servin' it up... - Okay. That's good, Jeffrey. - Oh, I'm Jesse. - We're looking for someone with hair, but thanks for coming in, Jerry. How are you and Ace doing? - Oh, my God! Great. Isn't he such a cutie? I love him. - Yeah. - Oh, by the way, we need a new roommate, so just let me know if you know of anybody. Especially needs to be clean. - Okay. Not handling any dirty people... - Hello. - Hola. 'Sup, dudes? So I'll just go ahead and grab this mark right here. - Um, can you slate to the camera, please? - For sure. Jesse O'Neill, reading for Tanner. - You are sad because you can't get what you want. You love your best friend's wife. Sad. Action. - Dude. Bro. Listen, man. I've loved her ever since that day we met in Zuma, at the bungalow bar. We were at the beach... - That's good enough. We don't think you're right for the part, but thanks for coming in. Jesse? Now, that's sad. I think you're right for the part. - Really? Welcome to "Between the Waves," Jesse O'Neill. Ay, Dios mo, Jesse O'Neill. - Oh, my God! Thank you so much! He's so the right guy for this part. - Yes! Oh, yeah... Whoa! Whoa! This is not what it looks like. This is not what... Chamomile, anyone? Tea? Yeah... - So, um... Rob and I are kind of together now. And... Why are you wearing that wig? I don't even know who you are anymore. Hello? - Hey, Mama. - Mr. Hollywood, how are you? - Leo! - What? - Guess who's on the phone? Who? Mr. Hollywood! Tell him I said hi! - Remember that blonde girl Veronica? Yeah, the one I didn't like. - Ma. - I ran into her in the supermarket and oh, my God, she blew up like a blimp. - I'm thinkin' about coming home, Ma. - You're thinking about coming home? Oh, that's fantastic. Oh, that's wonderful. Listen, I'm making something special tonight, 'cause I could bake something and I could freeze it! - Yeah... no... I... I'm thinking about coming home for good. - Jesse? - Ma? Ma? - Jesse I'm gonna have to call you back. Yeah... Give my love to Hollie! - Mom? - Leo! - What? - Guess who wants to come home? - Hey. - Hey, what can I do for you today? - I'm here to see the place. - Oh, my God. Jesse! What happened to your hair? - Um... I... I was... I was wearing a wig. - I love it. I love it. I love it. Come in, come in, come in. Go, Ace. Go. Cha cha, cha cha. I love him. He's so cute. Anyways, let me tell you something. That casting the other day was delightful. And the wig... you must have some very healthy balls down there to pull that off. Anyways, let me show you around. This is the living room. This is, you know, a very decent, regular-sized kitchen. You know, we keep a lot of freeze pops in there just in case, you know... a dry throat or something like that. We also have a shared bathroom. - That... that... that's fine. - Door's always open. - Always? - Would you like to see your room? Tah-dah. - The ad said that you were an actor looking for an actor roommate, but aren't you a casting director? - Yes, but that's my side job. Something I actually acted my way into and just pays the rent. What about you? - Um, well... I mean, look, there's this one thing and I totally understand if you can't... - Hold on, hold on, hold on. Are you nasty? - What? No, no, no. I... Look, it's just, I don't have the money to pay you up front right now and... I definitely can pay you when I get the check from that part in a couple of months and... I do have a side job waiting tables, but they just don't... - Shh... You're approved. - What? Really? - Yes. Welcome to your new home, Jesse. - My G... When can I move in? - Tomorrow. - Oh, my God. Thank you so much! - Thank you. Thank you so much. - You're so strong! - How about just a cheers? - I haven't even gotten your name yet, by the way. - Johnny. - Hi. - Oh. Bee-tee-dubs... we have a big party this weekend. - Okay, cool. What kind of party? - Huh Uh Gettin' funny in here Somebody help me Huh Well, it's gettin' funky in here Listen - Keep on Keep on Keep on - If you feel what I'm sayin' Give me your right arm Yeah Ow Welcome to the city That's full of dreamers Some are friends While some are schemers - Oh. Sorry, dude. - Keep on swinging - Wanna get out of here? This is my friend Najee. - Yeah. All right, come on, let's go. Been in character all week, you know. And I'm not gay. - What? Really? I mean, is your name really Johnny or... - No, man. My name is Jandres. And my agent called and said that the gay part fell through, so... - Well, that's awesome, man! - I mean, not that you didn't get the part or that you're not gay, but... So you're like a method actor! - Yeah, you could say that. - And you got an agent, too. - Mm-hmm. - That's great, man. - Maybe... maybe one day I can introduce you guys so, you know, you could talk. - Yeah! Yeah! - Right now we gotta go celebrate though. You're invited. It's on me. - What are we celebrating? - Well, one, we're roommates... and second... the fact that I got a supporting role in a studio film! - What? - You know it! - Nice! Listen, listen. Sarah gets off in ten minutes, all right? She's got so many friends, all right? Even for you, buddy. - We gonna knock it out the park. - We gotta go. - All right. To the time of our lives, pal. And to the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Redneck John, let's go, big man. Nice meeting you, nice meeting you... - Come in. Can I help you? - Hey, I'm Jesse. I'm looking for... - Have a seat, heave a seat, have a seat. So, Jandres told me that you just booked a pretty big TV pilot. What's up with that? - I honestly don't know, actually. I... they just gave me a call time and a shoot date and just told me to show up on set... - Jandres tells me you're a pretty good actor, too... without representation. - Well, yeah. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. - Oh, I see. - Well, we're kinda... overloaded as it is right now unfortunately, so... - So there's no more spots, or... - We're a boutique agency, Jesse. You know, quality over quantity. Surely the big agents can get you meetings anywhere. Of course they can. Of course. They're big agencies. But don't forget, you gotta compete with 30 other people that they also represent, right? No loyalty. Let's say you do strike it big. Let's say you do make it. Would you remain loyal to us or would you move on to a bigger agency? - Of course... I mean, of course I'd stay loyal, not of course I'd go with the other agency... - You don't wanna be an actor, do you? Anybody could be an actor. There's two million of 'em that are surrounding us right now. My dad can be an actor, and he's living in Phoenix. 20! 2-0 just got off the train or bus right now. - So you're saying I should just pack up and go home or? Listen to me very carefully, okay? I'm gonna tell you a little secret. You don't want to be an actor. You want to be a star. Do you know the difference between an actor and a movie star? - Celebrity friends? - Marketability. - So will you represent me or do I need marketability? - What makes you special? What makes you special? Why do you, you... why do you want to be a movie star? You're on a trial period. Let me know how that pilot works out for ya. - Rolling, rolling. Shh. Can I help you? - Hey! I'm Jesse. - Shh! Who? - Oh! For the part of Tanner. - Oh. You're late. Come on. - Girl, did you go there? - A hard man is hard to find. - Oh, it's so true... Hi. - Can I get you anything? Juice, Perrier, croissant? - Uh... no. Thank you. - Okay, sweetie. I'll take you right here. - Hurry up now. You gotta tell me more, girl. - Yes, I'll fill you in. - Um, they, uh... they said that I could arrive like this. - "They"? - Who did? - The... They said I was good. - Lord. I'm going to Crafty, Julia girl. - Yeah, you have fun girl. I'll be there soon. - Don't work too hard. - Never never ever. Nice skin! - Look at this beautiful... - How much longer, Julia? Girl, I just started! Give me five minutes, okay? - Tanner to wardrobe, we're looking at an ETA of two minutes. - What the hell are we doing? Come on! Let's go! - Tanner? - Yes, sir. - How you doing? - Hey. Jesse. - I'm Bryant. Let me show you your mark. Okay, you're gonna stand right here. - Right here? - Right there. Okay. Good. - Okay, what are we waiting on? - It's Joel, sir. - He's not here yet. - Hi, I'm Beth. Playing the part of Keela. - Hey. Jesse. Tanner. - Where the hell is Joel? Okay, Joel's here now. Mark. Camera mark. - Hey, man. Okay, let's do this, people. - Scene 5B. Take one. - Okay. Ready, Joel? Action! - Bro... you know it's nothing personal. Just trying to do my thing. It just so happens that the person I'm doin' it with is your ex-wife. No hard feelings though, bro. It's all... between the waves. - Cut! Mark it! Turn around! - Nice. - I'm free till after lunch, yeah? - Okay. How we feeling, Jeremy? You okay? - Uh. Yeah is... is he coming back? He only does one take per shot. It's in his contract. Okay... Camera rolls. Sound speed, here we go. - Scene 5B, take one. Sound, let's go. - Action. Bro, you know it's nothing personal. Just trying to do my thing. And it just so happens to be the person I'm doing it with is your ex-wife. No hard feelings, bro? It's all be... - Okay, hold the roll. Hold the roll. Okay, look guy, don't look over here man, okay? Just keep focused on Joel. Okay? Action. No hard feelings, bro? - Bro. - Cut. Okay, look, man we can't use this guy anymore. Just pull someone from background. - Okay, okay. Danielle? - Hi! I just love bald men. - Actually, extra Crafty is over there. - Yeah? - Uh, hey! Um... I just wanted to say great job back there. - Do I know you? - We just did a scene together. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm sorry to bother you though. Have a good one. - Come in. Sorry, mate. I've... had a rough couple of weeks. Lady problems. - Yeah, me too! My girlfriend, she just... she just cheated on me with my roommate. - Oh, wow. - Oh... - So, how long you been acting? - Um... for a couple of years now. Uh... Yeah. Couple of years. I didn't know you were an Australian. - Yeah, mate. Not many people do. The American thing, it's kind of just like... a persona. - Persona. - So... got any more scenes on the show? - Um... yeah. You know, they told me I got a few more days for sure. - Cool. When I booked "Werewolf Journals," six years ago, changed everything for me, man. You gotta be smart though. Now, I'm doing movies. Good ones. I'm just... just doing this pilot as a favor to the producer, who's a friend. But anyway, you seem like a cool guy, so good luck. - Well, thanks for talking to me. You know, and... - Chuck your number in. You know, I'll call you so you got mine. - Yeah? - Nice to meet ya. - You too! - Have a good day. - All right. I'll see ya. Thank you, Mr. Hogan. Thank you. - Have a good one. The director... he's replaced me. - Wow. Wow. Well, that's the first for me. All right, trial period's over. - What does that mean? - It means I'm not representing you. That's what that means. Oh, and tell Jandres to stop avoiding me, please. It's only 10%. Oh, and grab his scooter too when you leave. That'd be great. - Scooter? What scooter? - Yeah, he must have left it here last week or something. Somebody must have came and picked him up. I don't know. You'll see it though. It's the one down there that's leaking oil all over the place. Jesse. You'll be fine. It may take another two to four years until you get your next break, but... call me when it happens. Don't forget the scooter. - I don't know. - I'm just worried, that's all. - Well, hello, beautiful. My name's Najee and you're new here. - Yeah. Hi, I'm Katie. - Hey, Katie. I'm Greg. It's so nice to meet you. Where's Sarah? - Oh... Sarah packed and moved back to Florida. - Oh, that's too bad. But you know, it's a good thing you're here now though. - And what's your name? - I'm Jesse. - Hello, Jesse. - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too. Jesse here... was just telling us that our friend, Jandres, has been missing for like about a week. - Oh! - Yeah. He's done this before, but not this long. - Hey, listen, Katie. I was, I was just thinking, you know, I can't tonight 'cause I got plans with these guys, but maybe this weekend you and I could - go get into something? - A little fun? Maybe... - Hey, bro, your manager is calling you right now. - Oh, really? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You may want to go handle that. - Just one sec. Sorry. Hello? - Okay. - Yeah, you can't go out with that fool because you're gonna be going out with me this Friday at 8:00. - Hello? - You want to take me out too? I'm just kidding. No, it's cool. I'll get you some more. - Sure. What? - Yes! What? - Hey, mate! Thanks for coming. - Hey, Joel. How are you? - I had a big night. Pretty sore. How you doing? - I'm good. - Come on in. Wow, man! - Come. Sit. You want some? - Oh, no. No. Thank you. Eh. - Is everything okay? - You remind me of me when I was coming up in LA. You seem like a real honest dude, man. Honest people... Hard to find in this town. There's nothing but lies and... and whores. - You know, I would love to hear any advice you have for me on my acting career. - That's why I invited you over. I'm gonna help you. Having a big party tonight. Gonna introduce you to some players in town if you don't mind sticking around. I got some clothes you can borrow. - Yeah! - Yeah? - Yeah! - There we go, man. Sick. You wanna see the rest of it? - Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Excuse me, ladies, this is my friend Jesse. This is Cynthia, producer on "Between the Waves." Jesse's in it with me. He's playing the part of... Which part are you playing? - Um... Tanner. - Tanner. - Nice meeting you, Jesse. - Nice to meet you too. - You have wonderful hair. - Thank you. - You're welcome. - Thank you so much. - What's your secret? - I... - Jesse? What are you doing here? - Um... - Can I talk to you for a second? - Um, yeah. One second. - Who is that? Use my bedroom upstairs. - Nice to meet you. - Nice meeting you. - Chicks love him. It's the hair. He's got great hair. - I think that's it. - I mean, you're supposed to be here, but here working. - What? - Well, you're on the schedule to work, Jesse. - I didn't know I was on the schedule to work, Hollie. - Well, why would you be here if you didn't know? - That's what I'm trying to tell you, Hollie. I've been here all night. - The boss is coming. It's dirty, but at least you won't get fired. Just go. Go, go, go, go. - Hey. - Hi. - Is that a new tie? - Um... yeah, it is. - I like it. - Thank you. Okay. Back to work. - To work. - Oh! Where have you been? - Uh... - Huh? - I... - Oh, you ol' dog! Did you hurt her? She was practically panting for it, man. There's some people that I want to introduce to you. - Okay. Jesus. Excuse me... Are you new here? - Um... Yes, sir. I am. My very first night, sir. - Are those Levi's? - They're Wranglers. - Wranglers. - Yes, sir. - Mm. - I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Thank you, sir. - Clean up so we can go home. Hey. - Nice. Thanks, mate. Do I know you? Nope! But I know you! Can I have your autograph, Mr. Hogan? - Maybe later, mate. - Huh? - Maybe later. Hey, buddy. Sorry, man. Keep getting hounded by the ol' girl. You okay? - We met on "Werewolf Journals," season four. She came in for an arc... and then... she was my girl. She left her boyfriend at the time... for me. - I know how you feel, man. - And then... she left me... for a new co-star. - Joel? Joel! Joel! Joel! - Joel! Joel! Joel! Joel! - Remember that girl from tonight? - Yeah. - That was my ex-girlfriend. The one who cheated on me with my roommate. - Whoa, man. You're a real honest dude. - Let's get a drink, man. Let us drink! Pour the wine! - We are stopping at our first Hollywood landmark, the Hollywood sign. Me and my girlfriend say, "Hello!" Just drove across the country for 3,000 miles. And we stopped at In-N-Out! - You're wasting a lot of space on my phone. Can we put it away? - Okay. Okay. There it is! I think you just keep going straight up here. - Uh, yeah. - Here, let's take a picture. - Where? - One right there. - Okay. - Give me a big... big smile. Now do one with, like, your hands up, like you're holding the sign or something. No, like both hands. Like... Both hands up... - Was that good? - No, hang on, you gotta put 'em back up again. One more time. I missed it. - Okay. Okay. - I missed it. Put 'em a little bit closer together. - Good. All right. - Put my hands closer together? More together! - Jesse, just take the damn picture. - All right. All right. Here. - Excuse me, sir, would you mind if you take one of me and my girlfriend? Please? It would just take a second. - Uh... yeah. Here. Please. You just hit this button right here. Yeah, just hit that button right there. I got an iPhone, yeah, thanks. - Babe? You all right? You ready? - She... Hang on. She's gonna come right back. - How 'bout we just get one of you, bud? I gotta go. My family's in the van. - Just me? Okay. - Yeah. You want a close one? - Yeah. - I can help you out there. What's your name? I'm Jesse. - Jesse! - Hey! - Hey, man. - Hey. - Sorry about Miguel, man. He likes to start early. - Oh, no, it's no problem. - You have a good night? - I had a great night, man. - Oh, yeah. Dude, this thing looks dangerous as shit. - Yeah, it's not that bad. - You should just use one of my cars. - That'd be nice, to use one of your cars. - Take the wagon. - Take the wagon? - I trust you. - Take the wagon? - See ya around, man. - Oh... okay. - Snow I want to be in snow Scenery is lovely and oh I want to be there with you There There in the fabulous air We can be free of all care I wanna be there with you All the world's a wonderland A winterland for two All it needs to be complete Is sharing it with you And oh, you know that I love you so - Help you? - Um, yeah. - Help you? - I... Hi, I'm Jesse. I'm staying with Jandres. I just found this on the door. There must be some kind of mistake. - That's what Jandres is or Dreas or whatever his name is. That's his second notice. Are you on the lease? - That dog better shut up! - How much does he owe? - Three grand. - Can I grab Ace at least? Who the hell is Ace? - The dog. - I don't recall a pet deposit. - Is it rolling? - Yeah, man. - Okay. - Where the hell did you get chains from? You know casting directors don't like that shit. - Dude, it's dedication, bro. They love this shit. I'm Greg Perrow, and I'm reading for the role of Zurk. Okay. You shouldn't have come here, Princess. I can't protect you here! The Gozorgs are spreading in their numbers, and I fear that I might have... I fear that I might have to... I fear that... Man, just one more time! - Aw, hell nah! Cut. I'm done. I'm done. - That's like the fifth time! - My God, this is so perfect for me, bro! Please just one more? - No! That's five times already. - Come on, man. Really? - I'm done, man! I'm done! - Really? I even bought these chains and stuff, dude. - Are you serious? I'm done. Yo. You need to audition for anything? You know I gotta $35 special going on this month, but since you the homie, I'll give it to you for $20. - No, I'm good. Thanks, man. Do you guys have any idea where Jandres is? He never paid the rent in our apartment, so I came back and I found this and now we're kicked out, and I have no place to stay now. - Damn. - What? - Well, he's disappeared before, but never like this. Nah. But you know he loves what he does, man. He's probably just filming that film that he was filming. - That ended like a week ago. IMDB Pro. - You guys think that maybe I could stay here for a couple of days or something or? - Uh... well you could, but, um... I got someone who's coming, who's supposed to be staying for like about a week, and... they need the couch, so... - Well, you could stay the night! And Ace, we'll definitely keep him. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Okay. Oh. - Aw, damn! - Oh! Come on, Ace! - Aw, hell nah. Oh, Mr. Popular. - Hello? - Jesse, are you busy? - Uh, no. Not at all. What's up? - Um... Well, I have some good news. Great news, actually. I want to tell you in person, though. You free tonight? - Um... What about right now? - Okay, well, um, yeah. I'm over at Venice Canal, so meet me here. - Okay, cool. Yeah. Um... Can I bring some friends? - Yeah, absolutely, man. I gotta go though. Okay, see you buddy. - So you guys wanna go hang out with Joel Hogan? - I wanna be there with you I wanna be there with you Okay, and... Dang, that is him! - Just give me five minutes. Here you are. Here is your model. Brother, how are ya? - What's up, man? Did they not call you about promo photos as well? - Oh! Well, they've got something for me this next week we're doing. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is Najee and this is Greg. - Hey, man. How's it going? - Najee. - What's up? Big fan, man. - Oh, yeah? Pleasure to meet you guys. Friends of Jesse's, friends of mine. Excuse me one sec. - No problem. - All right, cool. - Do you remember Cynthia? From my party? Producer on "Between the Waves." - Um... - Are you all right, man? You kind of seem a little... glazed over. - Oh, no, no, no, no. It's nothing. - Ooh, yes. - So, um, look, dude. You know what I was thinking? - I'mma go holler at her. I was thinking, you know, maybe you should go over there, hold it down, and then I can go up there and get her number. - We both know that I'm the ladies' man and you're the... you know. - I don't know who... - I got kicked out of my place today. Um, my roommate... he... he didn't pay the rent, so... It's nothing though. It's not a big deal. Just been kind of out of my mind, so... - Okay. Just ask, mate. - What? - Ask if you can crash at my place. - No! No way, man. I couldn't ask you that. Could I? - Could you what? - Could I crash at your place? - Of course, man. Of course you can. - Yeah? - So, she looking at me. I think we got something going on... - Yo, yo, how's my tie? How's my tie? How's my tie? - Bro, you look stupid in a suit. We're in Venice. - Dude, I look... I look good in this. - Why did you wear a suit to meet him? Are you kidding me? Listen, all right? Just fix my tie, man. - So, Cynthia's got another project coming up, and the director on "Between the Waves" he's doing that too, and I think it's a pretty big movie, man. He's holding auditions over at Hollywood Casting on Friday for a couple of the parts. - So I'll go check it out or something. That'd be cool. Thanks, man. - Well... what I mean is, I might have just... suggested to Cynthia to just... give you a part. - Really? No. - Yeah. - No! - Yeah, man! And I'm not even close to being done. Check this out. - Oh, my God. - Get it framed, mate. That is the first of many. - Um, hey, look, how about we do this? - You... you hold that. - Okay... - I'mma give you my phone, all right? And you take a picture of me and this beautiful... beautiful young thing. Me, her, and Ace. Ace, bring your ass over here. Let's do this. - This guy wants to make it big. - She called me. Alicia, mate. Alicia! - Oh, yes! Yes! - She called me! She wants to, I don't know, meet and... talk things over. - Dude, that's awesome! Congratulations, man! - Thank you. - Actually, um... Hollie called me, too. - Well, if this ain't the best day of the week! - Yes! - Okay, so... swing by Cynthia's office. I've already booked in a time. Just, you know, pop in, say hello, maybe talk a little bit about the project. Looks like your friends are keen on our co-star. Don't be afraid to get a little close. - Hey, that's great, man. - Don't be afraid to get a little close like we know each other. Hey. Hey, what's up? - You know what I'm saying? This thing... Hey, do you mind just, kind of stand right there real quick? - Sure, yeah. - All right. That's good. - What? Okay. Hello? - Hey, buddy! - Who is this? -"Who's this"? It's your agent! You ready for some representation? Sorry, had to... need my time to turn over the old noodle... What do you say you come down tomorrow to sign some papers? How does that sound? - I just got one question for you. - Shoot. - What makes you special? Okay. All right. All right. Fine, I can bite. Um... what makes me special? Well, I guess it started around when I was 12 or 13 or so. You're on a trial period. - Hello? Hello? Jesse? Jesse? Mother... Nice. - Right? It's throwback, huh? - Joel, man... I just wanna say thank you so much. - It's no problem, man. Like I said, you're a real honest dude. All right, I'll see you in the AM. Do you want this open or closed? - Um... you can close it, thanks. - You thank me one more time, you're gonna have to go. - Okay. - Good night, bro. - Good night, man. - So... what do you say I go to the market, get us some organic, non-GMO veggies and some salmon? - Oh... I really have to get going, Boyd. I have an audition. - Still doing that whole acting thing, huh? You need better backlight. Well, when do I get to see you again? - Um... tonight at work. - Okay. Do you wanna have dinner later or something? - Maybe. I'll see you later. - Okay. See you later. Leave me a message and the beep and I'll try... Why is everybody so quiet? - What's up, man? - Still wearing that wig? - So where have you been for the last two weeks? - You mean, where my character has been for the last two weeks. I was in trouble. Big trouble. No, wait, wait. Let me start that over. Um... Okay, I got it. I was hiding, keeping a low profile... when I needed a drink. I didn't want anymore trouble... I wanted her. But I couldn't risk it... so I got out of there. I was being followed. Then it all went black. At first, I thought she had betrayed me. But then I realized... she was just a production assistant. They were just returning me to base camp to finish my scenes. Apparently, the producers had asked them to go get me. I'd been lost in character for two weeks. That's pretty much it. - Well, it's a good thing you're back 'cause Jesse pretty much lost his mind. - Just a place to live. - But don't worry though. I've already found another place. - Bro, I'm sorry. I'll... I'll make it up to you. - And I went and got your scooter for you when I went and met your "agent." And why don't you just go ahead and lose my number too? - Oh, come on, man. - Jesse... Come on, Jesse, He... he's your friend. - Goodbye, Katie. Well, he actin' like his shit don't stink. - A lot has happened since I left, huh? - Yeah. - No. Can I help you? - Yes. I'm here to see Cynthia. - Do you have an appointment? - Yep. Joel set it up. - And are you Joel? - No, I'm Jesse. Joel Hogan set it up. - Have a seat. I have a Jesse here to see you. Yes, ma'am. Joel Hogan. Yes, ma'am. Yes, Mrs. Bravo. - So I'll just wait right here then? Mm-hmm. - Excuse me, do you want me to come back maybe or? - Hi. Cynthia? - Yeah. - Okay. Mrs. Bravo, I have a... Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Okay. Yes, ma'am. - You may go in. - Thank you. - Excuse me. I've been here now for two hours. Does Cynthia know I'm here? - She'll be with you shortly. Please have a seat. - Thank you. - Oh. Yes, ma'am? Okay. Yes, ma'am. Mm-hmm. Got it. Got it. She is unable to see you today. - Okay. You know what? Seems that there's been some sort of misunderstanding. I'll just call Joel. - Oh, no, no, no, no. That won't be necessary. Mrs. Bravo told me to tell you that she has no interest in speaking with you today or ever and to please kindly leave. - What? - Are you going to be a problem? Security. - Really? - I am sorry. Joel told me to come here and see you today, and I've been waiting out here all afternoon - That I have no interest in seeing you today or ever and to please kindly leave? - Yeah. - So why are you in my office? - I don't understand. - Do you know how many actors are scraping and clawing this town just to get a speaking part on some shit pilot that won't even get picked up? - Did you and Joel have some kind of falling out? - Then a little shit-off-the-bus actor gets a one-in-a-million break and next thing you know, he won't work for less than $10 million a picture. Joel called me right before you got here. He asked me to forget about giving you the part. I guess you're not that lucky actor I'm talking about. - Wait! Why? - Go home. You're not gonna make it in this town with a guy like Joel mad at you. - What? What do you mean he's mad at me? But if I tell you guys something... Oh! - Don't come back here, clown! Is this about Alicia? Did you talk to her? - She wanted to meet up... to tell me that she's getting married to the guy. - Well, we'll get through this, brother man. - Also had lunch with the director of "Between the Waves" today. I brought you up just to seal the deal on you getting the part when he told me some interesting news. When he figured out who the hell I was talking about, he told me that he replaced you. Same day that we met. Right before you knocked on my trailer door. I thought we were mates! I let you sleep here! I gave you a car for Christ's sakes. - Joel... - Keys. - Did you even have an ex-girlfriend or was that just made up too? - Of course I do, Joel. Man, just please let me explain! - No! You lied to me this whole time. - I didn't know what else to do, man. I never meant to hurt anyone or lie to you, Joel. I... It just happened. It's kind of like your persona! - No, mate! It's not. And you know what else just happened? You just lost the break of a lifetime. You can go now. Just like the rest of 'em. It's the Hollywood sign. It's the first place we came to when we got here. Do you remember? Yeah. You... you left me to go get Starbucks. - Oh, come on. I was back in 20 minutes. So why are you moving back home? I thought things were going great out here for you. I saw you in "Celebrity Weekly" with Joel Hogan, by the way. - Yeah. I... I just... It's like everyone is wearing a disguise out here, you know? I'm just tired of letting people down. - I have something that I want to ask you, but first, I want to say that I am really, really sorry about Rob. - You should be. - I also had sex with Boyd. He's the party staff boss. - Yeah, I know who he is! What the hell, Hollie? - I don't know, Jesse! Things just... I just got a little crazy out here and... I needed more hours at work. - More hours at work? Well, I need a girlfriend who's not gonna sleep with the cable guy to get free HBO! - I know. I know. You're right. I'm sorry. - Unbelievable! - But you did just call me your girlfriend. Do you want to get back together? - I don't know, Hollie. I mean, you've had sex with two other people since we've lived here. Like intercourse. - So obviously, it's this place that's the problem. That is why I suggest that we move home... together. You were already on your way. The only difference is now, I go with you. And we can just say that this whole LA phase was something we gave our best shot at. What do you think? - Oh, my gosh! Hollie! How are you? - Good. Hey. - Hi! - Hey, Mama. - Jesse? Uh... Uh... welcome home! I cooked come linguine. You're welcome to stay as long as you want. Are you serious? Ew, that's disgusting. Did she tell you that? Yeah, I know. I'm sure that that's really what happened. Yeah, well she's... She's a huge slut. Nuh-uh. Oh, my God. No. No. He sucks. He sucks so bad. I cannot stand him. No. Ew. No, that's disgusting. Anyways, no. No, I'm not. I'm not gonna be there. You know what? I'll come. I'll be there 'cause I'm bored as shit here. Mrs. O'Neill, I think I see the problem. The problem's with your box. No one's fiddled with this box in quite some time. Someone might need to... do some rewiring of it. But I'll have you know I have got very skilled hands. You know, I could... I could give you the premium package, but I don't know if you could handle it. - You like channel 69? Oh, shit! - Oh, hey, babe. You remember Carl the cable guy, right? - How you doin'? - Oh, guess what? We just got free HBO. How about that? Two HBOs! - Mm-hmm. - I could help get a sports package if you're interested. - Oh! - Little extra... - By the way... we're pregnant! - Oh, congratulations! I hope you have many sons. Amazing. Okay. - Jesse? - Yeah? - Yeah? - No. - What? - Hell no. Why would I get back with you, Hollie? You've treated me terribly! But you know what? I'm really glad we've had this conversation. - How dare you talk to me that way! Seriously? And take off the wig already, weirdo. Aren't you done auditioning? I don't know why I ever wasted time with a loser like you. He's holding auditions over at Hollywood Casting on Friday for a couple of the parts. - So I'll go check it out or something. That'd be cool. - What time is it? - What? I don't know. What are you doing? - Don't forget your Starbucks on the way out of town. Come on. Pick up, pick up, pick up... Hey! Jandres? I really need your help right now. - Watch it, asshole. - I want answers and you're gonna give 'em to me. - I'm not here for you, I'm here for... I'm here for me. - You're wasting your time. - I want the truth and you're gonna give it to me. Now. - I want the truth and you're gonna give it to me. You better give me the truth. Hey, guys. - Room three is closing in the next ten minutes. - And they can only see two more of you and that's it. Sorry, guys. - Hey there, foxy lady. - Hey. - I'mma need to talk to you. How much time we got? - Ooh. If you leave by the time we get back, stay groovy, babe. - Nice shorts. - Thank you. - Shit, man! - Be casual, my man. Hold it tight. Am I seeing double trouble right now? 'Cause y'all ladies are lookin' out-of-sight. - Excuse me, my man, can you hold this? Thank you. - Jandres! What are you doing here? What is with all this getup? - Oh, baby you know. Just prepping for a new character. But listen, I'mma need a huge favor from y'all. - Okay, what is it and what do I get out of it? - Well, baby, you get me all night long till the break of dawn. - Deal! - Ew. No. Gross. - Look, I'mma need my man to get in that audition. Is that cool? - Fine. Sure. Just go. - Go. - Yes? - Yeah. Yes. - Call me. - I will. Thank you. Now you're gonna have to take it from here, daddy-o. - Okay. Jandres, thank you so much, man. I just gotta run these sides, man. - You got this, man. You got this. - I got this. I got this. - Look... you book this role, and that's how you can thank me. - Okay. Waste of time. - Another man's trash is another man's treasure. - Huh? - That looks good, baby. - Yeah? - That looks great. There you are. Yeah. - All right, man. Last one! Let's do this. - Oh. I didn't see you there, little buddy. Let's go. Come on. - All right. - Break a leg, brother. - Thanks, dude. - I'mma go talk to the twins. - Yeah. Go get 'em. - Yo, what do you mean they want 3D now? I thought you were doing a found footage movie. - Yeah... Okay... Yeah, let me call you back in five. - Mark. - You have a head shot? - Uh... no. - Of course you don't. - Please stand on your mark and state your name. - Okay. Um, my name is Jesse O'Neill and I'm reading for... - Do I know you? - Not yet. Would you please go? Um, my name is Jesse O'Neill and I'm reading for the part of... I'm sorry, what's the character's name? I can't... - Tony. Jesse O'Neill, I'm reading for Tony. I'm not here for you... I'm here for me. And I'm not wasting your time... you're wasting mine. So just sit down and be quiet. I want the truth and you're gonna give it to me. - Okay. All right. Thanks. Um... He lacks aggressive intensity. - You're not what we're looking for. Thanks for coming in. - All right. Good day, guys. - Well, can I just go one more time maybe? I'm just gonna go once more. Hey! I said I'm going again. - Look, son, go home, okay? We get it, you're a real go-getter. But it's been a long day for us. Wait a minute. What's your name again? - My name... is Jesse O'Neill. And I'm not here for you. I'm here for me. And I'm not wasting your time. You're wasting mine. Now, now you sit your ass down and shut up. - Wait a minute here... - I am through with being nice to you! I want this part! And you're gonna give it to me 'cause if you don't... 'cause if you don't... you're gonna regret it. I promise you that. - Hey, you're the guy that I kicked off "Between The Waves," aren't you? You're Joel's friend. - I'm the guy for this part. One hell of an audition. But I don't want you for this part. How would you feel if you were to play the main antagonist? Do we really want to confirm that he's already got the part? - Lance, shut the hell up! You're fired! Jesse, what do you say? - I'll think about it. - Bryant, call Nancy and tell her we found our bad guy! - I am so nervous right now, man. - Are you all right? Are you okay? - Yeah. - Relax, man. This is g... Chicks are gonna roll past, they're gonna wave to you and blow you kisses. Tonight is your night, all right? Just want you to relax and enjoy it. There's plenty more to come. Another thing I wanted to tell you. This is important. I just want to say sorry... about being so hard on you. I was going through some really dark times. - Joel! You, my friend, are the reason that I am here right now. You and all the other guys, man. I owe it all to you guys! - Thank you. I appreciate that. It feels good to get that off my chest. Now, for some good news. You remember Beth? - Beth? Beth, Beth, Beth... - Beth. - Yes! - Co-star on "Between the Waves." - Yes, dude! Yeah! - Well, we're engaged. - What? What, dude? Are you serious? - I know. I know. - When did you guys start... - It's all between the waves, man. It is all between the waves. - Let's do this. Paparazzi over there. - Enjoy it, mate. First of many. Just smile. - Okay, that's enough, all right? You just gotta stick with it. You just... You just can't give up, huh? - Yeah. And I'm sure a lot of people have similar stories, but I had some help along the way too, so... - I know exactly what you mean. - My mom bought me this suit yesterday. - It's a good suit. - Thank you. No, seriously... - Hey! Just got back from my yoga retreat. Uh... I really need to talk to you. - Whore. - Excuse me? - Me? You're the whore. You cheated on me first. Payback's a bitch, bitch. - Hollie, we need to talk. - You and Rob? - I'll call you after work. Tell me about this wig. - Oh, we have the tape? O... okay. Well, we'll just show you. We have here Jesse's audition tape. - Where'd you get that? - Let's roll it. - My name... -is Jesse O'Neill. And I'm not here for you. I'm here for me. And I'm not wasting your time. You're wasting mine. Now sit your ass down and shut up! - Wow. Yeah, yeah, stand up. - Thank you. |
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