1
[cheering, applause]
[Baines] Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you.
Thank you very much!
Thank you very...
Thank you, so incredibly
grateful to be here.
Thank you very much.
[crowd chanting]
Baines! Baines! Baines!
[rhythmic clapping]
[Baines] God bless America!
[crowd] Baines! Baines! Baines!
Thank you very, very much!
[Michael] History has proven that a
great leader can change the world.
For better or for worse.
Once upon a time,
in the not-too-distant future,
America was at war with itself.
Our political parties
had fallen into crisis.
An identity crisis.
And where there is war,
there are soldiers.
[man grunting]
And where there are soldiers,
there are casualties.
Mary Maple was once
the Magnolia Queen.
Yes, it's me.
Thirty years and 30 pounds ago.
[laughs]
- Michael.
- Yes.
Tell me about yourself,
what's your background?
Where'd you go to school?
I graduated from GW.
Hmm. What did
you major in?
Political Science with
a minor in Journalism.
What kind of grades?
Graduated with honors.
Cum laude.
Cum laude.
My goodness.
- Sugar?
- Oh, yes please.
[Michael] Mary Maple.
A very good person
to know in Washington.
So, how can I
help you, Michael?
Well, it's pretty clear
that Senator Baines
is gonna run for president.
If I can be anywhere
near that, I mean...
I could learn a lot
from the man.
Well, John is a good friend.
- Nothing is set in stone, of course.
- No, no, of course.
Rob Reynolds is unofficially
running the campaign.
I have heard of him, although I
haven't made his acquaintance.
Rob is also
a good friend.
He's the best at what he does.
Yes, he is.
Consider yourself invited to
the Maple Foundation event,
where my good friend John Boland
Baines is our guest speaker.
I'll even introduce you
to Rob Reynolds myself.
I'd very much appreciate that, Mrs.
Maple.
Call me Mary.
Oh! My goodness!
Oh! My goodness!
Oh! My! Oh, darlin'! Michael!
Darlin', I need you...
I need you...
I need you to stop
for a minute.
Oh. Oh. Oh.
[Mary sighs]
[sighs]
- Hey.
- What?
Where'd you go?
I'm in here.
[chuckles]
You know, I like you
better without it.
You mean you
don't like my wig?
No, no, no.
I like your wig.
I mean, here.
Now.
I like you like this.
[sighs] You do?
Oh, sugar, you really
are something.
[both chuckling]
[moaning]
Oh! Oh!
[moaning loudly]
[Michael] A little over a
year ago, at a lunch counter,
my boss,
Senator Lester Garret,
told me he had a pain
in his abdomen.
Less than two months later,
Lester died of pancreatic cancer.
I'd been out of work
ever since.
I had to make something happen.
I was on borrowed time
in a borrowed SUV.
That Judge Karl?
How did you get this?
Callie, Judge Karl
has a wife and kids.
Precisely.
And he's been
a judicial activist
against same-sex marriage
for his entire career.
Some of his legal language was
actually in DOMA, for Christ's sakes.
I mean, he's a hypocrite
of the highest order.
[Michael] Callie and I met when we
were both interning for Lester.
Yeah, but, Callie...
wife and kids.
Yeah, you're right, I can't
do that to the wife and kids.
[Michael] She's my roommate and
my best friend. But lately...
I'll blackmail him.
How much do you think
we would get?
Not much, honestly.
[scoffs]
[Michael] She had quite
a collection going.
Most of those guys weren't
exactly big players, though.
The judge tape...
This was different.
You know,
in this little box...
is the real DC.
Yeah, and it's going to
stay in that box.
For a rainy day.
Speaking of rainy days...
umm, how we doing on rent?
[sighs] 'Cause, uh,
that's a final notice.
Yeah, we're probably going to
have to bust out the umbrellas.
Really?
[clears throat]
That was a gift
from Tanya.
Oh, how nice of her.
Did you ever consider
selling the coke?
Michael, I can't
sell a gift.
We have to pay rent.
I know.
[sighs] Whatever are we to do?
[Michael] This is
my friend Kevin Bidwell,
noted political journalist
for a noted political newspaper
whose circulation
was way down.
Who you fuckin'?
[laughs]
[Michael] Kevin Bidwell,
former college roommate who
lived vicariously through me.
I wanna work
for John Baines.
I want a rim job
from Ann Coulter,
but that doesn't mean
it's gonna happen.
[Michael] It was like college
had never ended for Kevin.
All right, so what is it
you actually want, Michael?
I mean, let's say you...
you get the job,
and Baines became president?
Where do you see yourself?
Humor me.
I see myself running
for Congress.
And I see myself winning.
I'm officially humored.
You think I'm kidding.
Congress... I-- Are you even
a resident of any state?
Where's the Podunk town
you come from?
It's not about where I'm from,
it's where I'm going.
[laughing]
That should be your
campaign slogan.
Rob Reynolds will never
take you seriously.
What if I told you...
that Rob Reynolds is going
to have to take me seriously.
If it were me...
I'd go to Reynolds like
I'm doing him a favor.
Give him what I have,
protect my sources...
Does Callie have
anything to do with this?
All right, two things,
and I want you to listen
to me, very carefully.
Do not let Reynolds know
that you want to
run for Congress,
or anything else,
for that matter.
- And?
- And...
just be careful.
These aren't Boy Scouts
you're dealing with.
[Michael]
The Maple Foundation fundraiser.
An annual event to raise money
for Mary's various causes.
In this case, the cause
was the United Party.
Excuse me, sir.
[Michael] Rob Reynolds.
A wunderkind who had gotten
his first congressman elected
before his 25th birthday.
His tactics: questioned.
His resolve: feared.
Rob Reynolds had
started a new party
and Senator Baines
was gonna be the face of it.
This is not about this year,
it's not about this election,
- it's about the next elec...
- Rob, darlin'.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
I wonder if you've
met Michael Lawson.
Michael is... Well, Michael...
Uh, Michael would do
anything to get onboard.
Oh, yeah, well,
good luck, Michael.
Uh, Mary.
[sighs] Don't worry,
darlin', I'll work on him.
[Michael] Well, Kevin had
been right about one thing,
Reynolds was never going
to take me seriously.
I had known that.
But Mary had kept her promise
and gotten me the introduction.
The rest was up to me.
Lydia Bowman. New Year's
Eve a couple years ago.
Senator Barr's party, you were
Rob Reynolds's assistant.
Executive assistant.
Of course, of course.
Michael.
Lawson, yeah, I know.
Lydia, I was wondering
if maybe you...
- Oh, Michael, I'm here with someone.
- I know.
I was wondering if maybe you'd
give this to Mr. Reynolds for me.
Oh, I...
I thought...
- Now I'm embarrassed.
- No, don't be.
I knew you were
here with someone.
My great misfortune.
I'll give this to Rob.
Thank you.
- [applause]
- [Mary] Ladies and gentlemen,
my dear friends,
I would like to welcome you
to this party.
And when I say this party, I am not
just talking about this event,
I am talking about a movement.
[all] Yes!
[cheering]
Unlike that broken
Grand Old Party...
[audience laughing]
...this party is United.
[man] Yeah!
[cheering]
Without further ado,
I'm going to give you the man who's
here to get this party started.
From the great state of Texas,
Senator John Boland Baines!
[cheering]
Thank you! Thank you!
Let's get right to it,
shall we?
What has happened to us?
When did we become so angry?
So divided?
[Baines] Why has the voice
of compromise become silent?
Don't let anyone in
until the speech ends.
What does this mean?
I wanted your attention.
You have it.
Yes, okay, I'm, uh...
I'm...
[Baines]
...run by extortionists.
We can unite behind being...
[audio muffles]
I'm in possession of
a thumb drive.
On this drive is a video
of a certain prominent judge.
Very close friend
of the Senator's
and likely to end up on your short
list for the Supreme Court.
In the video,
this judge is...
How do I put this?
In plain English, please.
He's blowing a guy
in a bathroom stall.
[Baines] We can do it,
we can be united!
[audience cheering]
We have people who want
to overthrow the government.
People who want to secede from the Union
because things haven't gone their way.
- Well, that's just not American.
- [audience members] No.
United we stand and divided...
we have failed.
Do you know how Bobby
Kennedy was assassinated?
It was in a kitchen.
A lot like this one.
A little nothing
changed history.
A lot can be
learned from that.
The United Party.
Sounds nice, doesn't it?
What do you want?
I want a job.
Sir.
- Look, I'm not asking you to...
- Shh, shh, shh.
[Baines] We're not determined
to tear down the machinery.
We believe that the
interests of the individual
should be left to the people
involved, not the government!
What if I told you
I won't give you a job?
Hmm? What do you do then?
I hand the drive over to you.
As a friend.
A friend of mine?
A friend of the party.
[audience cheering]
[Baines] We believe
in a free market,
but be prepared to act
when it fails,
or when it is abused.
I believe that we can be
against needless regulations
and yet not deny that our planet
is warming and we must act.
I believe that we can
be pro-business
and still not be held captive
by the vested interests
of billionaires
and corporations.
Welcome to the show,
Michael.
We can be united!
United Party!
[crowd] Baines! Baines! Baines!
Thank you.
Excuse me... Rob.
What'd you think
of the speech?
Very moving, sir,
very presidential.
Let's hope it goes as well
when we make it official, huh?
Of course you will.
I have good news,
Darcy's comin' home.
We'll have to throw a grand ol'
welcome home party for her, won't we?
Yes, we will.
Yes, we will.
Who is this?
Oh, uh, Senator,
this is Michael Lawson.
He's gonna be working for us.
Fantastic!
Well, welcome aboard, Michael.
Thank you, sir.
You're a good-looking kid,
you know that?
[chuckles]
Thank you, sir.
Isn't he?
Isn't he, Judith?
Uh, isn't who what?
Darling,
I was just saying,
Michael Lawson here
is coming to work for us.
I said he was
a good-looking young man.
- Don't you think?
- Yes.
And that is so important
in a campaign.
I'm glad you're with us,
this campaign needs youth.
Thank you, sir.
Excuse me. Vonetta!
Senator Baines.
You were smart
with me today.
Keep it up.
I want that flash drive.
[Michael] At times,
life can be grand.
[blowing]
[exhales]
[indistinct]
[Michael] I had convinced myself
that what I was about to do
was the best thing
for both of us.
[hip-hop music playing, on
headphones] [man rapping]
Well, if it looks like a duck
and it quacks like a duck,
it's probably a judge blowing a guy
in the bathroom stall. [chuckles]
- It's the only copy, I wiped it...
- What?
It's the only copy.
I wiped the computer
and the original sources...
How do I know it's not out there
floating in the cloud somewhere
just waiting
to be downloaded?
You don't.
You just gotta trust me.
But I don't trust anyone.
- I don't follow.
- There's nothing to follow.
The senator's daughter
coming into town,
I'm gonna need you to go on
over there and help out Judith.
Yeah, sure, absolutely.
Uh, anything to help out.
Hey, is Callie Roland
looking for a job?
Find out.
We'll pay her, she'll continue
to do what she does best,
destroy bad people.
Everybody wins.
- [phone rings -And I paid
your next six months' rent.
- Oh, I didn't ask you to...
- Forget it. It's done.
Go talk to Lydia,
I need to grab this.
Hey, hey! Mad Cash!
I was just listening
to your latest hit.
Oh, man, it's a smash.
[hip-hop song playing]
[man rapping]
[Michael] Wallace Pellum, aka Mad
Cash, was a high school dropout
who parlayed early hip-hop success
with mass crossover appeal.
By the age of 30,
the dapper entrepreneur was rumored to
be worth close to a billion dollars.
So why should I want to get the
vote out for your candidate?
[Michael] Rob Reynolds
had plans for this new party.
And in his mind, Mad Cash
would play a big part in it.
You going to church
tomorrow?
Yes, I am.
You know I believe in God.
Well, so am I.
Tomorrow could be
the revolution, Wallace.
I mean, we have the real party,
this time we get it right.
And the Latino vote too.
Good, my babies
are half Latino.
Exactly! You see?
We're aligned.
Me, you, Baines,
and the United Part
are gonna take back
the right.
Yeah, well...
we may have your values,
but we still just
niggers to you.
Well, you have to find
your place in the party.
And you might as well be
sitting with the big boys.
True that, my brother.
True that.
[Michael]
Tanya and Callie were...
Oh, let's just say
they were tight.
Really? No one's gonna
sit up front with me?
Let's just hit the road, Jack.
Ooh! You looking
real good, Mike.
Thank you, Tanya.
[Tanya] You want a bump? A bump?
- Yes!
- No, no, I'm all right.
[Michael] Tanya had come
to DC from Pennsylvania.
[sniffs] She wanted to be a
serious television journalist.
So far, it hadn't worked out.
Hey, Tanya...
[Callie] No!
- You can't borrow the SUV again...
- Yes.
You can borrow my SUV for
as long as you want, baby!
Thank you, Tanya.
[Callie] Why are you so nice?
'Cause I love him.
No, you don't.
I do.
[Michael] Like I said,
they were... tight.
[Judith] I like the cut glass, but I
don't care for anything iridescent.
Okay, then. Yeah.
And then, um, cut glass.
And I like the silver,
I don't want...
[clears throat]
Uh, Mrs. Baines.
Hi.
An SUV?
I'll be inside.
[Michael] Mrs. Baines was an
environmentally conscious conservative.
You really have to
get rid of that.
Sit down.
Young man traveling around as
a single passenger in an SUV,
do you have any idea
the carbon footprint...
- You won't see it again.
- Good.
One of the things
that bothers me the most
about my husband
and this campaign is that
he'll no longer travel
on a commercial airline.
I mean, he's going to be traveling
around on a private jet.
Yeah, those small planes,
they make me nervous too.
No, it's about
the fuel consumption.
Those things are the worst.
Listen, you have to understand,
this campaign is going to be
a cross between
the Reagan philosophy
and when Jimmy Carter had solar panels
installed on the White House roof.
They worked wonderfully.
You're probably too young
to remember any of this.
Unfortunately, they were dismantled
during the Reagan administration.
It's the only blemish on an
otherwise perfect presidency.
So...
Mary Maple tells me
you have a beautiful cock.
Oh...
Sorry, what?
[sighs] Come with me.
Oh! You should think
about getting a Volt.
Not only are they
American-made,
but they run on
gas and electric.
[softly]
Look at this.
I can't do this.
Really?
I see evidence
to the contrary.
This is wrong.
I don't feel
right about this.
[sighs] You know
how you got here.
I know how
you got here.
Get up.
What...
what are you doing?
[moaning]
[moans]
[moaning]
Now you can.
Excuse me?
I'm working for
Senator Baines.
[laughing]
Yeah, right.
Yeah, no, I'm serious.
[chuckles] Come on.
- It just happened, Callie...
- No.
No, things like this
don't just happen.
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
Why would they even hire you knowing
your history, our politics?
It just doesn't...
Yeah, well,
that, uh, brings me
to my other thing.
- There's a second thing?
- Yeah.
I gave them
the thumb drive.
What thumb drive?
The Judge Karl video.
I gave it
to Rob Reynolds.
He's the one that
offered me the job.
Are you fucking
kidding me?
That was mine.
- Well, okay, it was sort of yours.
- No!
These are mine!
Okay, Callie, well,
I had to do something.
I had to make a move because we
were drowning, you know that.
I mean, come on, look.
I give the drive
to Rob Reynolds,
he pays our rent
for the next six months.
Look at this.
That's more money than you've
seen in your whole life.
Plus the reality is, now
that they've seen the video,
no way Judge Karl's getting
nominated for the Supreme Court,
so frankly,
it's a win-win.
Win-win?
Michael, this is insane.
Goddamn it, are you for real?
The United Party?
Okay, yes. But Baines
is actually different.
- He's a fascist.
- Fa... [scoffs]
Come on, Cal!
What does that even mean?
You know what it means!
They'll sell guns to
seven-year-olds, while they laugh
as cops fucking kill
people in the street!
The want to de-unionize,
deregulate the entire universe.
They'll sell us food that
they refuse to eat... Callie.
They still are trying to overturn Roe v.
Wade, for God's sakes!
Callie! What? They're the
personification of evil.
And your good buddy Rob
Reynolds is the devil himself.
Michael, what the fuck
were you thinking?
They wanna hire you too.
So, what did he
say about me?
- [rock song playing]
- [man singing]
[Michael] The Volt. It runs on
gas and it runs on battery.
This car was who I needed to be.
You know, make
my own environment safe,
create as little
pollution as possible.
[song continues]
[moaning]
[Michael] I was laying the groundwork
for my own political career.
Now, I know what
you're thinking,
but four years from now I could
be Congressman Michael Lawson.
Then I could really help
the people who needed it.
It was worth the risk.
At least, that's what
I told myself.
You call that dressing
inconspicuously?
- What?
- Drive.
If you want a job...
[sighs] What do
you need done?
- Martin Goodrich.
- Hmm.
[imitating Southern accent] Senator
from the great state of Florida?
Yep, that's right.
[normal accent] You know, they actually
like their Social Security down there,
so, I bet he's gonna mop the floor
with your guy on primary day, huh?
- Goodrich is a pervert.
- I bet.
We hear he's into some
pretty unsavory shit.
I heard the same, yeah.
Can you get it on camera?
Well... that depends.
That's half. Make sure
to pack your sunscreen.
Fucking hate your politics, but...
the money's not bad.
[Rob] Pull over.
[band playing
"Hail to the Chief"]
[continues]
Please, please, not that song.
Not today.
[song ends]
Today is about
something different.
Today is about friends,
old and new,
helping us to welcome home
somebody very special.
It's about the best
daughter a man could want.
My daughter,
our daughter,
Darcy Baines.
Come on down, baby.
[applause]
[band playing]
[applause quiets]
[Baines] Have fun.
Hi! You look amazing.
[inaudible]
[singing traditional pop song]
[lighter clinks,
clicks]
[Darcy] Don't do that.
I had actually given
it up the other day.
Smoking?
Maybe.
I'm Darcy.
[clears throat] Michael Lawson.
I work for your father.
So...
what do you do for my father?
Not sure,
I just started.
I...
I think he'd make a great
president, so I help out.
Well...
you're very...
[exhales]
Very what?
I don't know.
[both chuckle]
[lighter clinks,
clicks]
Better not let
your mother see that.
Yeah, my mother's dead.
Sorry, I...
I meant Judith.
[chuckles] Yeah,
I know what you meant.
Anyway, everything always
gets cleaned up around here,
don't you know?
Hmm.
Hey, I have an idea.
[band playing traditional pop]
Jesus, she looks just like her.
Who?
Judith, I need to know that you two
are gonna get along this time.
Promise me?
Well, of course
I promise.
Well, I'll
leave you to it.
That dinner with
Senator Woodward...
- Yeah?
- Forget it. You don't need him.
He's a friend, Rob.
I know, we'll reschedule,
but something came up.
What? Senator, you're
flying home to Dallas.
Gertie Hayden? Just got
off the phone with her.
- Our cash cow has finally come in.
- It seems so.
Well, let's hope she's ready
to give forth generously.
Are you coming?
Don't think so, don't
want to spoil the milk.
You'll need
someone with.
I'll call Billy, make sure
he gets the somebody.
Sounds good.
So, how'd you
like Europe?
Liked leaving it.
- Really?
- Yeah.
[scoffs]
[Michael sighs]
Okay.
So, uh...
So?
- So, I give up.
- Smoking?
What?
You're gonna give up
smoking for me.
I am.
Yeah.
You're gonna give up
everything for me.
Uh...
Really.
Course.
Why?
Because.
Darcy.
[whispers] Say it again.
- Say what again?
- My name.
Say it again.
I just started
this job, Darcy.
Say it again.
[Rob] Darcy!
Your father's
looking for you.
She's a little young
for you, Michael.
[Kevin] Poor little
Rob Reynolds.
Dog bites his face
when he's seven years old.
I can see him writing
in his composition book,
"What shall I become?
President of
the United States."
Probably broke
his little heart.
I bet the happiest
day of his life
was when he realized
he could grow a beard.
I mean, think about what that does to you.
I mean, he's...
He's a powerful guy.
Hell, he might end up being one of
the most powerful men in America.
But he'll never
be president.
Almost makes you feel
sorry for the guy.
Don't. He probably
bit the dog first.
[chuckles] Hah, hah.
[Kevin] Look who's come down from Mount
Olympus to mingle with the unwashed masses.
[Michael] Jerry Todd, the
right hand of the left wing.
He had already gotten
the last two presidents elected.
What?
Usually, at this point, I
ask you who you're fucking.
No. No, no, no, that's usually
the first thing you ask me.
Tell me you're not
fucking Judith Baines.
[scoffs]
I'm not fucking
Judith Baines.
Jesus, man.
Good, because then you'd
be as reckless as Callie,
and I know you're
not that stupid, right?
I'm not crazy.
[cell phone ringing]
Yeah?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah, absolutely,
I'll... I'll be there.
Okay.
I'm flying with
Baines to Dallas.
Dallas?
Nothing bad ever
happened there.
I have to take a piss.
[Michael] I had heard
Jerry Todd was looking
for someone inside
the Baines campaign.
- [man] How's it hangin'?
- You had to hand it to him,
he had a way of catching you
at your most vulnerable.
Look, you hang
to the left.
You worked for Lester
Garret, didn't you?
So, what do you think you could
do for me if I were to hire you?
Well, Jerry...
I've actually been leaning a
little more to the right recently.
But it's been nice
hanging with you.
Well, let me know if you
ever change your mind.
Good morning.
Did you enjoy yourself
at your party?
Yeah.
Good.
I noticed that you were
dancing with Michael Lawson.
Darcy, now that
your father's...
Well, we need
to be careful.
"Careful."
"We."
You need to be careful
about who you're seen...
Touching?
You know what I mean.
Is this coming
from my father?
Mmm...
Anything regarding the campaign
is coming from the both of us.
We were just dancing.
All right.
[clears throat]
Um...
Enjoy your breakfast.
[interviewer] Senator, you've been
recently criticized by the NAACP
for your advocacy
of racial profiling,
yet you claim that you yourself
have never been racially profiled.
[Vonetta] No, not
that I remember.
- Yet, rap mogul Mad Cash...
- Yes. I heard what he had to say.
Calling me a
female Uncle Tom.
He is the real problem
in this country today,
superficial and materialistic.
If Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
were alive,
he would be far more
upset with the way
young African-American men
dress and act.
Dr. King was a rebel.
- Mad Cash is a...
- [TV clicks off]
John,
you cannot have Vonetta
Calhoun stand next to you
when you announce
your candidacy.
- I can't?
- She will hurt you
more than she will help you
with the black vote.
African-American.
African-American, yes.
I see her down the line
as a possible running mate.
That would be crazy, John.
Senator.
What's your
real problem, Rob?
That she criticized
your rap star buddy?
Senator, sir,
my rap star buddy can walk
into any neighborhood...
Caucasian, African-American,
Latino...
and not only register
votes, but get you votes.
He's a cultural icon and a
social media phenomenon.
My rap star buddy...
is a billionaire.
I want Vonetta Calhoun standing
next to me when I announce.
And where do you
want Judith?
So, I understand you
worked with Lester Garret.
Oh, yes, sir, I interned for
him after I graduated from GW.
That turned into a
full-time position, but...
Well, you know what happened.
Ol' Lester.
I'll say this about
Lester Garret...
he went to bed at the end of the
day believing his own bullshit.
And I mean that
in a positive way.
Yes, sir.
Can I freshen you up?
Oh, no thank you, I'm still
working on this one, sir.
Michael, call me John.
Sure.
I had a tendency
to overindulge, so...
It's in the genes.
Is that so?
My father, he did a lot of damage
to his liver, to his family.
Were you close
with your dad?
No, no, he wasn't
around much.
How 'bout your mom?
I had an aunt,
her sister.
She was, uh...
kind to me.
Can't pick your
family, sir.
[chuckles] Least not
the first time around.
[chuckles]
Nothing harder
than family.
Nothing more important either.
Family, yes, sir.
- And, Michael, call me John.
- Right, yes.
- [pop song playing]
- [woman singing]
[woman rapping]
Who's your lady friend
over there?
Tanya is her name.
And I have yet
to see her naked.
You want that?
Yeah, you want that.
Tanya.
Come here.
[song continues]
[inaudible]
I wanna know more about
your friend here.
Rob.
Tanya.
[Tanya]
How are you?
[song ends]
[Darcy] Oh, yeah, I think I saw...
[Baines] You did, huh?
That's what comes with
running a ranch.
- Okay.
- I guess.
- Hey, morning.
- [Baines] Morning.
[Darcy] You like eggs?
Yeah, thank you.
Good.
Then sit.
You remember
my daughter, Darcy?
[Michael] I do.
Did I not tell you
she was going to be here?
You did not.
That's because my father
always wanted a son.
That's not true.
I wanted two sons.
[chuckles]
- Don't burn the eggs.
- [laughs]
It's not gonna pour itself.
Huh?
You look like
you could use some.
Oh. Thank you.
[Baines] So, Vonetta Calhoun.
- Senator from Virginia.
- Yeah.
Did you see that clip?
The racial profiling thing?
Yeah, I did.
What'd you think?
Honestly, I think
the racial profiling issue
is a lot more complicated than
the people are willing to admit.
I know that.
What do you think of her?
The people
she's talking about
are way more interested in assimilation
and survival than anything else.
Like, you can't attract young voters
by attacking the way they dress.
- So precious.
- Hi.
[man] You only get
two tries for free.
[Michael] Gertie Hayden, the
cash cow, was old Texas oil.
She had already bankrolled
one ex-president.
I don't trust a man
who don't drink.
Yeah.
Okay.
You sure are
pretty to look at.
- [chuckles]
- [laughs]
- Now, that Reynolds boy, Ron Reynolds.
- Rob.
Rob, Ron, whatever
the hell his name is.
That boy gives me the heebie-jeebies,
you know what I mean?
I believe in John.
He's a hell of a man and
that's why I'm gonna back him.
Can't stand that wife,
though. [sighs]
Now, she is a terrific kid.
When her mama died,
John didn't know what to do.
That little girl,
as a seven-year-old,
had more to do
with bringing John back
than anything that
bitch has ever done.
First thing Judith did
after they got married
was to send Darcy away to a
private school in New England.
[sighs]
Don't get me wrong,
Judith has helped his
political career, all right.
But with that little girl
away from him,
that just about
broke John's heart.
Is that right?
I am so glad John decided
to unite us on this trip.
[laughs]
[Baines]
Come on.
[Rob] And this is the answer to the
post-neocon Tea Party movements
that have hijacked
the Republican...
[Michael]
Back in the capital,
Tanya had agreed to have dinner with
Rob Reynolds as a favor to Mad Cash.
...family values, fiscal
responsibility, and my baby.
I'm calling all the shots, and
once we get to the White House...
Mad Cash said you know
people in television.
Yeah.
So, do you know anyone
at Access Hollywood?
Because I think
I'd be good at that.
This is the
District of Columbia.
So you can't
help me with that?
I know people
at Fox News.
- Rob!
- Jerry.
Jerry Todd,
Tanya Jones.
Miss Jones.
So, how goes
the campaign, Rob?
- What campaign?
- Ha!
Rob and I have the same job,
only I'm on a real team.
Speaking of teams.
Isn't that Kenyon Carver?
Also known to basketball fans as Mr.
Downtown?
A pleasure.
You don't like
your salad?
Get in.
Umm, excuse me, I'm gonna
go to the ladies room.
Look at Kenyon Carver there.
He's the most selfish
player in the league.
He wouldn't pass the salt to his
own mother at the dinner table.
You know, I was
never good at math, Rob.
But subtraction would indicate
you're minus one date.
Did you sleep with
that old woman?
No.
[Darcy] This is
where it happened.
And I was in the car
with her.
She never saw
the other car coming.
After the accident, when I finally
went back to school, um...
the bus would drive
past here every day.
And, um... then one
day I just, I...
I broke.
I broke down.
I told my father.
You know, he didn't want
me to see that, so...
he used his influence
to have the bus rerouted.
Took 20 minutes longer
to get to school, but...
I never had to go
by here again.
You have to promise...
to never hurt my father.
Huh?
Promise.
I promise.
[grunting, moaning]
This is crazy.
- Yeah, it is.
- [sighs]
Last time.
Good, yeah, I think
that's for the best.
Last time here, Michael.
I don't think I can
do this anymore.
It's wrong.
You'll do this
until I say stop.
Find us a new place.
Not a hotel.
Next time you tell me
this is wrong...
I'll tell Rob Reynolds
that you raped me.
I'm wearing your
DNA right now.
Don't forget that.
Just find a new place.
[scoffs] I just wish
more people knew
how easy it was
to get this video.
You proud of me?
Yeah, I guess.
Jesus, poor dog.
There's more.
What's this?
Peanut butter and roses.
- No, I...
- [laughs] Here.
"You are a true artist
and a great American. RR."
Rob Reynolds, what a guy.
[keys jingle]
Ain't life grand?
Cal, are you sure this is
what you wanna be doing?
Absolutely.
I found my calling.
Michael, Rob wants to
see you in his office.
You wanted to see me?
Michael, come on in.
Oh, John.
Tell Rob what you told me
about racial profiling.
Yes, the senator says
that you have an opinion
about Vonetta Calhoun
that you'd like to share.
We're anxious to hear what.
Uh, yeah, um, I think I said
that the issue is complex.
I also said the people
she's talking about
are more worried about assimilation
and survival than anything else.
Is that it?
Did I leave anything out?
Ah, about
the young voters...
Uh, you can't
attract...
You can't attract young voters
by attacking the way they dress.
Thanks, Michael.
Well, I think
Michael's right,
Vonetta Calhoun is definitely
not the way to go.
She's out of the event,
your rap star buddy is in.
Very good, Senator.
Rob, call me John.
So? How's Cruella de Vil
been treating you?
Uh, with kid gloves.
'Cause she's
afraid of you.
I don't... I don't want
to talk about her.
Guess who just walked in.
What's up, man?
Man.
[sighs] So, what's the good word?
Abstinence.
That's a good word
for people who get laid.
Sadly, for the rest of us,
it's merely a fact of life.
What can
I get you?
Club soda with, actually, just
a little bit of rum in it.
- Okay. Menu?
- No, no, thanks.
So, how's Callie doing?
Don't know.
Fine, I guess. Why?
Tell me, was that a
Doberman or a Rottweiler?
Don't ever play poker.
So, who's she working for,
Jerry Todd?
No, not quite.
Indeed.
The plot thickens.
Okay.
Thank you. I'm gonna have to
order off the menu for this one.
God, I love
dinner theater.
Oh, shit.
It's Darcy.
That's Baines's daughter?
My God.
She's breathtaking.
I mean, not in the "I wanna
fucking bang her" kinda way,
more in the "I wanna hold her and
spoon with her after the fact" way.
Maybe even weep a little.
Hey, man, you mind if a take
rain check on this one?
What...
Dude. What...
- Come on, you just got here.
- I'll see you at the fountain later.
You gotta be kidding me.
Hey.
Give me a ride?
That girl you were with...
she was at your party.
She the one who
told you about me?
Jeannie's an idiot.
What'd she...
What'd she say?
What are you doing?
I can't...
I'm... I can't.
Fine.
[Darcy chuckles]
Come on.
[keys jingling] [door
unlocks, opens]
[cell phone buzzing]
Oh, fuck. Judith.
Fuck.
Callie?
[cell phone ringing]
Hey, Callie,
I'm glad you called.
I'm wondering, can you be out
of the apartment tomorrow...
What?
[crowd chattering]
I'm so sorry, you're gonna
be okay, don't worry.
Callie?
Callie, what happened?
[crowd chattering]
[hip-hop on speakers]
Can I help you?
[people screaming]
I'm gonna fucking kill
him, you understand me?
He's dead!
What are you talking about?
Why don't you go
fucking ask Rob?
Rob? Okay, wait,
I'm coming with you.
No.
- Don't.
- Callie.
Get the fuck
away from me!
[ambulance departs]
[siren wailing]
[Michael] Rob Reynolds
had been humiliated.
What he had done to Tanya
he did for personal reasons...
[people screaming]
and that made it
all the more unsettling.
- [woman] Stop it! Stop it!
- Help! Somebody, help!
[Callie]
They posted it online?
It's not good enough that they
beat her to a bloody pulp,
they had to post it
online too?
There's no way in hell I'm
letting him get away with it.
I'm taking Tanya,
I'm gonna take her home.
And then as soon as I get back here,
oh-ho-ho, I'm gonna fix this.
And then we're getting out of
here for good, so pack your shit!
What... We? What are you talk... Callie!
What are you talking about?
Callie!
Fuck.
- [knocking]
- [sighs]
Damn it. Cocksucker.
Who the fuck is
knocking on my door?
[knocking continues]
Oh. Hello, Mother.
I'm sorry, I think I have
the wrong apartment.
Are you sure? Because I'm not
the only one that lives here.
Yeah, I'm sure it's
the wrong apartment.
Hey, you look familiar.
Are you a friend
of Michael's?
No, just a little lost.
- Maybe I could help.
- No, thank you.
Okay, well, you have
a blessed day!
[cell phone ringing]
Michael Lawson.
Is in big trouble.
Hey.
Where were you?
I'm sorry. Reynolds called me into
his office, I lost track of time.
Who was that annoying girl
that answered your door?
[softly] Fuck.
[normal voice]
Uh, that was my roommate.
She was not supposed
to be there.
Is she your lover?
No, she's a lesbian.
Get rid of her.
Well, I thought I had.
Just make it happen.
[cell phone ringing]
Yeah?
It's me.
Yeah.
Well, you were
supposed to clear out.
Why?
I think you know why.
Chanel No. 5?
We met.
Leave it alone, Cal.
Look...
I just have to
drive Tanya home,
and then you can have the
place all to yourself.
How is Tanya?
That should have been
your first concern.
[dial tone]
[Todd] This better be good. I was in
the middle of an amazing massage.
Well...
I've got something I'm selling
to the highest bidder,
if you know
what I mean.
Okay, so what
do you got?
It will destroy
Rob Reynolds
and the entire
Baines campaign.
I might have
an investor.
You tell me what you have,
I'll tell you what it's worth.
So, what do you got?
[chuckling]
[pop song playing]
[Darcy] Take me away from here.
[Michael] Huh?
Take me to your place.
I can't,
I have a roommate.
Then take me to a hotel.
[Michael sighs]
That's not...
We can't start sneaking
around like that, Darcy.
That's just
not a good idea.
[song continues]
[man singing]
I should go,
and you should get back.
[grunts]
My father is going to make
his announcement tomorrow.
I know.
I want you to take me.
I don't think the
campaign wants that.
It's what I want.
[sighs] Darcy.
I love you.
[song continues]
[Michael]
"Darcy, I love you."
I wanted to say it.
But I couldn't.
I was thinking
about Dallas.
Being in their
kitchen with them.
Having breakfast together.
Me, Darcy, and Baines.
How happy they seemed.
How happy I felt, how...
I'm not happy.
Jesus Christ!
What exactly do you think you're doing?
Judith...
I want this to stop.
I... I don't know
what you mean.
You don't know what you're
dealing with, Michael.
This is not about us.
This is about Darcy, and she
is an extremely troubled girl.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Look...
You have a future
if you want it,
you can go on the road
and campaign with John.
And I promise to
leave you alone.
But this country
needs my husband,
and the only thing Darcy will bring
you or this campaign is down.
What do you mean,
she's troubled?
She tried to kill me,
that's why she was sent away.
She tried to kill you.
- You're fucking lying.
- Look at me.
When she as 14, she attacked
me at the dinner table.
Attacked you?
Stabbed me in the hand,
could've cut me to ribbons
if John hadn't...
Well, look, something
you may not have noticed.
Shit.
[lighter clinks]
Now, why...
why would she do that?
I'm not getting into it.
Why should I
believe you, then?
I'm through with you.
With this.
We won't be seeing each
other anymore, okay?
And I'm...
I'm sorry I snapped and...
threatened you, but...
I felt something
for you and...
you made me feel ugly.
Anyway, it's done, and...
you see the scar and you
know I'm telling the truth.
You want to run
for Congress, right?
Am I right?
We can make that happen.
But are you willing to make the
necessary sacrifices, Michael?
Think about it.
What's up?
- Billy, come in.
- What's up?
Come on. Have a seat.
[indistinct] No, no, it's okay.
Sit down.
We... have a snitch
at Jerry Todd's office.
Said someone came to see him,
said she has something...
that can destroy Baines.
She?
Who are we talking about?
Billy,
there are 270 million guns
in the United States of America.
And that's one of them.
Callie?
Callie, you back?
[fan blowing]
Callie?
[keys jingle]
[Callie sighs] Michael,
I wanted to let you know
that I am leaving
because you have broken my heart
and now I feel
the need to save you.
And make some serious money.
So... Well...
I recorded you
with Judith Baines.
[laughs]
I'm kind of surprised...
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
- ...she'd have sex with you here.
- But, um...
- Oh, fuck!
at the
end of the day...
I forgive you,
she was clearly using you.
I mean, we'll split the money.
You know, head off somewhere
together like we always said.
...a interesting video and I'm going
to sell it to the highest bidder.
Now, this is partially both of our
faults, but what were you thinking?
[sighs] I mean, I
forgive you, all right?
I forgive you for
you losing your way.
- [blowing]
- I have to do this for both of us, okay?
I mean, we'll split
the money...
- [whispers] Where'd you go?
- ...and...
You know, we'll go off somewhere
together, like we always talked about.
We can be completely different people...
Oh, fuck.
...do something so much...
[tones beeping]
Hello.
Check the windows.
Michael, Michael, Michael.
[line ringing]
Come on, Michael,
pick up the phone.
Come on, Callie. Pick up.
Pick the fuck up.
[busy signal]
Fuck. Fuck! Fuck, fuck!
[cell phone ringing]
Hello?
Michael,
where are you?
Rob, I'm sorry.
I'm handling this.
Handling what?
- I'm not stupid.
- No, I am.
What do you want?
I'm willing to pay.
This was not me, I had nothing
to do with this, Rob.
Really? 'Cause from what I'm
hearing, you play a major role.
I'm taking care of this,
I promise.
Where are you, Michael? Where's Callie?
I need to talk to her.
Fuck.
[rock on car stereo]
[engine off]
[music off]
- Shh! Shh!
- Michael!
What the fuck
are you doing?
What the fuck am I doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
- We need to leave.
- No, no,
you need to give me that drive, you need to
give me the camera, you need to erase...
You need to erase that fucking
tape off of wherever else it is.
- [scoffs]
- Callie!
What?
Callie.
- What?
- Callie.
- Please.
- What is your problem?
You gotta give me
every copy you...
- [Darcy] Every copy of what, Michael?
- Why?
Michael, who is this?
This is Callie.
Callie, this is Darcy,
Senator Baines's daughter.
[laughing]
Oh, that's fucking...
[clears throat] I'm an
old friend of Michael's.
What is this?
I'm here to take you
to the announcement.
That's for Judith,
actually.
Michael,
what's going on?
[Callie] I need to leave.
Michael, are you
coming with me?
Michael?
No.
Oh.
Okay.
Suit yourself.
I'll see you later.
'Cause you're
gonna call me.
We should go.
[car door opens]
To the announcement?
Inside.
[engine starts]
[rock on car stereo]
[tires screeching]
- [audience cheering]
- [Baines] Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you,
thank you very much.
It is an honor to be
here with you today.
[inaudible]
I'm humbled by the experience.
I don't need to tell you
that we live in trying times.
Challenges facing
our great country,
rising unemployment,
runaway inflation,
diminishing opportunities
are tearing at the very fabric
of our American families.
And I know how important
family is to all of us.
[Judith moaning on video]
Was this before or
after we were together?
[gasps, shudders]
The United Party
is a conservative party.
We share the same
core values.
We can embrace
traditional morals
without falling prey
to bigotry.
- [applause]
- We can.
Or worse...
Or worse...
allowing bigots to hide behind
our honestly held principles.
[water running]
[Michael] Darcy.
You promised me.
I didn't know Callie
was filming us.
[water off]
We want God
and we want faith.
We don't want fear, and heaven
knows, we've had too much hate.
[cheering]
And we have room...
We have room for everyone,
because we are everyone.
Everyone who has
ever worked hard,
everyone who has
ever pushed open
the doors of opportunity
for themselves.
We believe in
the American dream!
We believe in America!
Leave.
Use the back door.
That's what we tell
the help to do.
[cheering]
As a member of
the United Party,
I, John Boland Baines,
announce my candidacy
for president of
the United States of America.
Thank you.
Thank you!
[chanting] Baines! Baines!
Baines! Baines! Baines!
[Baines] The United Party!
Baines! Baines!
Baines! Baines! Baines!
I have to take care
of something.
Baines! Baines! Baines!
Baines! Baines! Baines!
[Baines]
Thank you!
Thank you! [Judith] Do you
think Michael was in on it?
[Rob] I don't know, but it doesn't
really matter now, does it?
Where is he? I was hoping
you could tell me.
[cell phone rings]
Yeah?
Wait here.
Darcy?
Darcy?
I'm in here.
Oh, there he is.
Come here.
Rob. Rob. The fuck you
think you're doin', huh?
Fuck is wrong
with you, huh?
Calm down, Rob. You wanna
fucking ruin everything?
You and that dyke cunt.
Darcy.
What?
We need to talk.
Where's Michael?
Michael's on the TV.
Darcy.
Darcy.
No, no, no.
Okay, you need
to calm down.
It's okay,
just please calm down.
No, Darcy.
Darcy!
I'm gonna take care of this.
You don't think I'll crush you?
- [Judith] Darcy, no!
- [blow lands]
- [screaming]
- [stabs]
[Darcy gasps, whimpers]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
[breathing heavily]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
[screams]
[Judith] Oh, my God.
[sobbing] No!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
No, no, no!
- Oh, my God.
- No, no, no!
Judith?
Why, Michael?
[Darcy] Michael!
[Rob] What happened?
Fuck!
Fuck.
[Darcy] I'm sorry.
- [Judith] Darcy, put down the knife.
- [Rob] No, no.
Darcy, give me the knife.
No! We have to take him to the hospital.
Give me the knife!
[Darcy] Michael!
Darcy, listen to me, Darcy!
Listen to me, you're gonna have to
listen to me, okay, both of you.
Darcy, listen to him.
Open it.
[cartridge clatters]
[pistol cocks]
[Michael] Oh.
They're gonna get you an ambulance
and you're gonna be okay.
You're gonna be okay,
I promise!
You're gonna be all right.
Michael, okay, you're gonna
be all right, I promise.
Put him in the car.
[Michael groaning]
No, no, he needs
an ambulance.
Darcy, you have
to trust Rob.
You're gonna have
to trust Rob.
- We have to trust Rob.
- [Rob screaming]
[gasping]
[breathing raggedly]
Todd shit his pants.
He's probably still in the parking
garage counting the 10,000.
Good.
Callie?
That flash drive she had,
that the only one, Michael?
[Michael] Anything
happens to me,
the Washington Post
gets a package.
You're full of shit.
Were gonna drop him
on the side of the road.
Wait, what?
Call 911 with your dummy phone
and they'll come get him.
They'll take you to the
hospital, fix you up.
Can you hold on
for that long?
I don't know,
I don't know.
And when the cops come,
you tell them
the person who stabbed
you was male Caucasian.
- Darcy?
- You understand, Michael?
Yes.
[Rob] Get his watch and
his wallet, everything.
I should have gone with
him to the hospital.
Rob will take care of it.
It was an accident,
I wasn't trying...
Are you gonna help me?
Are you gonna
help your father?
Is he gonna send
me away again?
Look at me.
Look at me.
No one is getting sent
away, do you understand?
No one is getting
sent away.
We are gonna be
the First fucking Family.
Now, go get a mop.
[Rob] We play this right...
You listening, Michael?
- Mmm-hmm.
- Play this right,
and we all win.
Callie.
No.
Darcy.
You think about Darcy.
- Hey.
- [chuckles]
Ah, a declaration of
your love for me?
Your friend Michael,
the good-looking one,
he dropped this off, told
me to give it to you.
[Michael] Dear Kevin,
There's a very good chance
that after tonight
you will not see me again.
If that is the case, do your
old college roommate a solid.
When the time is right,
tell Darcy Baines I'm sorry.
And that I never meant to
hurt her or her father.
Tell her what I couldn't.
That I loved her,
and that the happiest moments
of my life were spent with her.
[ragged breathing]
That's all the details
you get, my friend.
I was gonna be
a player in this town...
and Callie,
Callie was gonna...
Well, needless to say...
it hasn't worked out.
[gasping]
[sirens wailing in distance]
[sirens wailing]
[pop song playing]
[man singing]
[song continues]
[song fades]