1
(SILENCE)
(SKATEBOARD ROLLING)
(MAN LAUGHS)
Wow.
Can't believe
you found these things.
- Were they in that drawer?
- MAN: Yeah.
They should have been
in the drawer.
They were in the drawer
with the desk by the thing.
Yeah, like I said.
- But I didn't...
- MAN: Show the camera.
This is that Christmas dinner
that I was telling you about.
Yeah. Yeah.
MAN:
They're walking the streets
as though we weren't living
through some sort
of a hideous nightmare.
Only you can hear people
screaming and dying
and crying for help.
No one else
seems to be noticing.
Only it's worse
than wartime,
because during a war,
the people are united
in a shared experience.
This war has not
united us.
It's divided us.
It separated
those of us with AIDS
and those of us who fight
for people with AIDS
from the rest of
the population.
Two and a half years ago I read a
"Life" magazine editorial on AIDS,
which said it's time to pay
attention to this disease now,
because it's beginning
to strike the rest of us.
It was as if I wasn't the one
holding the magazine in my hand.
So where do you get it,
and for how much money,
because it isn't
happening to them,
so they don't give a shit.
And they don't have their houses
burned down by bigots and morons.
They only watch it
on the news...
MAN:
William.
Oh.
You're still here.
How was your nap?
It was absolutely,
positively wonderful.
(CHUCKLES) Thank you
so much for asking.
Do me a favor,
Sam, would you?
I want you to put
that camera down
and help me
to the toilet.
I have to take
a shit right now.
(DOOR CREAKS)
I'm gonna head.
I left the money
in your sneakers.
You said three.
It's all I have.
Whatever.
Try and make sense
of this for me.
I don't know.
It's a puzzle.
I'm leaving you with a puzzle.
(CHUCKLES)
To my body:
someday my ship will come.
It's not finished yet.
What?
Too gay?
Too political?
Too AIDS-y?
So...
no new paintings.
Oh...
I'm just... I'm trying to get back
to doing something important again.
Isn't it a little bit
late in the game
to start trying
something new?
I mean, I get it.
You're getting older.
You feel the need
to reinvent yourself.
It's not that.
No one wants
to see this, Sam.
They want to see
your paintings.
Trust me.
Well, fuck you.
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Elijah rock,
shout, shout, shout
Elijah rock,
coming up, Lord
Elijah rock,
shout, shout, shout
Elijah rock,
coming up, Lord
- Isn't she divine?
- Mm-hmm.
- All right, this round is on me.
- Thanks, babe.
Glad you're out.
It's been too long.
Yeah, where the fuck
is everybody else?
They're scruffing and
grinding and dick pics.
Oh, my!
All right.
A whiskey
for Sam there
and a cranberry soda
for my baby.
I'm on a cleanse.
Jesus Christ.
- Cheers, queers.
- Ooh, cheers.
Oh, shout, shout,
hallelujah
Coming up, Lord
So did you have a chance
to look through
those old slides
and photos for me yet?
Not yet.
Are you still working
on that William thing?
- Come on, Jeffrey.
- It's been like 20 years.
Yeah, I know
how long it's been.
All right, Sam.
We will find you
the photos.
Don't worry.
But like from
the old days, Jeffrey.
- Before he was sick.
- I'll look.
(PIANO MUSIC PLAYS)
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, my God.
Yeah, look at that.
Look at that.
Beautiful, isn't it?
Cover's beautiful.
I love this cover.
Jeffrey Ann Miller
741-7246.
I know his number.
Will get my AIDS and ACT UP!
archival materials
and slides and
photographs in a box,
labeled in my bedroom,
and first crack at my gay
AIDS and health books
in bookcases one and two.
And the woven wicker laundry
basket under the stairs.
Are you getting
all this, Sam?
WOMAN: Isn't this all
a bit premature?
WILLIAM: My impending
death is premature.
Now...
I want
a memorial service...
but please,
no eulogies.
Use the photo of me in my Saks
Fifth Avenue tweed jacket,
taken in 1978.
It's on a shelf
in the armoire.
And I want
a party afterward.
A Christmas party,
with a tree.
SAM:
Christmas party?
As you may know, Christmas
is my favorite holiday.
And as I most likely won't
be around for another one...
Christmas in July.
Or September.
Whenever my body decides
it's had enough.
Well, I looked awful.
Can I bum another one?
You sure are smoking a lot
for someone who doesn't smoke.
Don't tell Mark.
Oopsie.
Back in a minute.
WOMAN:
Maybe they're right.
Maybe who's right?
At the gallery. Why don't you
take a break from all this?
Take a vacation.
I don't need
a vacation, Mags.
I mean, what have I been doing
for the last 15, 20 years?
You certainly haven't
been hiring a cleaner.
SAM:
William was angry.
He was angry because nobody
was angry anymore, you know?
Before he died...
I mean, like,
before before...
we were a team.
You and William
and Jeffrey and me.
We were.
Why did we never do that?
Do what?
Give him
his Christmas party.
Oh...
I don't know.
He wanted a Christmas party
and we never gave it to him.
Okay, William did
all kind of crazy things.
He sent postcards
addressed to his own body.
Yeah, and I have every
single one of them down there.
Will you speak
to Jeffrey for me?
I mean, he says
he's okay with all of this,
but I don't think he is,
and Mateo pretends
like he wants to help,
but then he acts
like I'm Dr. Frankenstein.
- Mateo can be a little bitch.
- Mm-hmm.
Jeffrey will
listen to you.
I'll talk to him.
Thanks, Mags.
I know I can always
count on you.
- You're the best.
- Mm!
- Shut up.
- (CHUCKLES)
Ain't got nobody
Nobody cares
for me
I'm so sad
and lonely, baby
Won't somebody
take a chance on me?
(PLAYS PIANO)
Ain't got nobody
Nobody cares for me
I'm so sad and lonely
Won't somebody
take a chance on me?
BOTH:
Nobody cares for me
Oh, Mags.
Whatcha readin'?
Shit.
You scared me.
Can I sit here?
If you want to.
So...
- what are you reading?
- Ah, that's just... nothing.
Oh.
Is it good?
He was a friend of mine,
the writer.
But he's dead now.
Well, that's no fun.
It was
a long time ago.
We all die eventually.
Memento mori.
Means "Remember death."
Or "Remember
you're gonna die."
So why do you have
such a morbid tattoo?
It's just a little reminder
that life is precious.
I got it after my father
died, about nine years ago.
My dad died,
I threw a fucking party.
You didn't get along
with your dad?
Uh, that was...
that was a bad joke.
Oh.
But, no, we did not...
get along.
That's too bad.
What?
SAM:
I can't tell if you're real
or just a figment
of my imagination.
I've had a lot
to drink.
I'm pretty sure
I'm real.
(DOOR CREAKING)
Oh.
So what do you like?
What do you like?
Do you have a condom?
I only play safe.
- Me, too.
- Uh-huh.
Sorry that was so fast.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Don't worry.
Sure you'll be ready
to go again soon enough.
Did you come?
No.
There you go.
Thanks.
Want a beer?
Uh, maybe some water?
Mind if I smoke?
Do what you want.
What is all this?
It's a project
I'm working on.
Is this you?
Yeah.
With my writer friend
William.
You remind me of him
a lot, actually.
And that is one of the very first ACT UP!
demonstrations.
You do know
what ACT UP! is, right?
Yeah.
Wasn't born yesterday.
When were you born?
Don't answer that.
(CHUCKLES)
You're a filmmaker.
I'm an artist.
Come on.
Break's over.
(BOTTLES CLINKING)
Hi.
Morning.
What is this?
I'm fine.
How are you?
Why is there money
in my shoe?
Well, we hadn't
discussed it before,
but I thought...
500 for an overnight.
- Seriously.
- I might offer you something to eat,
but I don't eat breakfast.
Or lunch.
But I'd like
to see you again.
Unless you have
some sort of policy.
So can I call you
sometime?
Sure.
Okay,
what's your number?
Great.
Okay.
Bye, then.
Bye, Braeden.
(DOOR CLOSES)
- Hey.
- Oh, good, you're alive.
Uh... how was work?
It was lunch,
it was dead.
Did you call Isaac about
the leak in the bathroom?
I thought we agreed that if
we're gonna be gone all night,
we'd at least send
a fucking text.
My phone was dead.
I have a present for you.
Close your eyes.
Come on.
Close your eyes.
Open them.
- What is this?
- It's $500.
- From where?
- I met some guy last night,
and we went back
to his place, and...
- What, you robbed him?
- He gave it to me.
- For what?
- For sex, I think.
He's crazy, right?
Yeah, it's pretty crazy.
I guess he thought
I was a professional.
This is a lot of money. Like,
what did you do to him?
Nothing out
of the ordinary.
How old is this guy?
45, 50.
Are you upset?
I don't know.
Don't be.
It's 500 bucks.
Right.
So I am dating
a prostitute now.
An accidental
prostitute.
Right.
Right, right, right.
Please don't be upset.
Promise you're not upset.
I promise.
Next time
I'll ask for double.
(BUZZER SOUNDS)
- SAM: Yeah?
- Samuel, it's me.
- Jules?
- (GATE BUZZES)
- Surprise!
- Hey, Jules.
I'm moving in.
- What?
- Just for a few days.
Uh, I thought you didn't
leave Sagaponack in the summer.
Now I know you don't eat,
but I brought croissants.
Why aren't you
in your apartment?
I'm having my apartment
painted, Samuel.
- Okay.
- Jesus, this place is a dump.
It looks like
you just moved in.
Now don't worry about me,
I won't take up
too much space.
I'll sleep on the couch.
I insist.
Shocking as it is,
I can't say I'm surprised.
- He wasn't sick at all.
- Perfectly healthy,
for nearly 70.
- He was just alone.
- We're all alone.
But we don't just
up and jump out a window.
So your work
is going well?
Actually, I really
don't know what I'm doing.
That's a great
place to be.
- It is?
- Sure it is.
And how's
your love life?
I always want
to talk to you about art,
and all you want to hear
about is who I'm fucking.
At my age, I have to get
my thrills where I can.
- When's the service?
- Wednesday morning.
Then I'm back
to the beach.
Oh, you can stay
as long as you want, Jules.
Really.
- These are all the photos I have.
- Oh, my God.
I wonder what
happened to him.
- Oh!
- Do you remember that day?
- I almost froze to death.
- Yeah.
You never wore gloves.
Well, you let me
keep my hands warm
- Hey, hey.
- in your armpits between chants.
So you think you'll be able to get
me those slides any time soon?
Come on, I'm not trying
to put you out.
Well, it's just everything went
into storage when we moved in here.
Oh, yeah.
I knew it was Mateo's fault,
all right.
JEFFREY: I will try to
find them for you, I will.
I'll come with you
if you need help.
MATEO:
Hey, babe.
What are you two
up to?
- I was just leaving.
- Aw! What a shame.
Thanks for these.
Goodbye, Mateo.
MATEO:
Good to see you, Sam.
- Bye, Sam.
- SAM: Mm-hmm.
So, uh, Sam here
grave digging again?
(GROWLS)
I know. Why don't you just
give him what he wants?
William isn't just Sam's,
you know?
I know.
Jules.
(QUIET SNORING)
SAM:
Hey, can you come over?
Don't use the buzzer.
Text me when you're near.
WILLIAM: Chris, the guy
from the coffee shop.
First cappuccino
I ever had.
Yeah, he was there.
And I would see
so many people that I knew,
and my doctor would go.
(LAUGHING)
I could see him there.
God, I remember one time
at the Mine Shaft
I was strung up by Louie,
and he was whipping
the shit out of me,
and you were there, Sam.
And you looked
positively... heartbroken.
I later had to tell you
not to worry.
It was just for fun.
You were always
so sentimental, Sam.
Well, now Louie's
dead now, too.
(CELL PHONE BUZZES)
(DOOR CREAKS, CLOSES)
- Sorry, the M wasn't running.
- Shh! Quiet.
(PAPER RUSTLING)
Let's get this
out of the way first.
200?
No overnight, okay?
Sure.
And you have
to be quiet.
No screaming tonight.
I'll try.
Are you hungry?
I have this friend who's a straight guy.
He's married,
and he's always talking about how he
wants to have sex with other women.
- All men want to fuck.
- Right.
- So do women.
- I wouldn't know.
So this guy is always
saying to me, like,
"Wow, you're so lucky, you can just
have sex with whoever you want,"
and I'm like, "So can you.
You know, just talk to your wife
about having an open relationship."
Right? I mean,
you're both adults.
You should be able to at least
talk about what you want,
about sex
and stuff, right?
- And?
- Yeah, and so he says
this, like,
super patronizing thing,
like, "Well, when you
really love someone,
and you start
a family with them,
then you don't want to see
them with anyone else."
Like I'm some disgusting,
promiscuous gay friend
who doesn't understand
how to really love someone.
Thank you.
Oh, can I have
some more coffee, please?
Like, I have a boyfriend,
right?
But I can have sex
with whoever I want to.
- You have a boyfriend?
- Didn't I tell you?
- No, you didn't.
- Oh.
Well, yeah.
But we're open,
so I do what I want.
- He doesn't care?
- No.
Who's that guy
on your couch?
Oh, that's just
an old friend.
He's my old teacher
from art school.
Cool.
How old are you?
I thought you didn't
want to know.
Now I do.
Almost 30.
- Really?
- Are you disappointed?
Damn, I didn't ask her
for ketchup.
How old are you?
Still old enough
to be your father.
Oh, good.
Excuse me, miss.
Can me and my daddy
have some ketchup?
So do you have a daddy thing
because your father died?
Hmm. Do you
like younger guys
because you're trying
to recapture your youth?
When I was your age,
younger,
all my friends
were dying.
Dropping like flies.
I went to funerals
twice a week.
So, yeah...
I guess I am trying
to recapture my youth.
But you know, it's not
really a daddy thing with me.
I actually don't feel
any older than you are.
And I'm not attracted
to guys my age, I'm just not.
I like all types
of guys.
Young, old, big, small.
Why discriminate?
How old's
your boyfriend?
- BRAEDEN: My age.
- SAM: There you go.
William was beautiful.
Really so, so gorgeous.
And he went
from being so handsome
to looking a zombie skeleton
in a horror movie.
Fuck.
We used to go to a diner,
kind of like this,
just a couple of blocks
away, actually,
and it was always full of
muscle queens and 'roid heads,
and William
would always say,
"Let's get a table
right in the middle."
He liked to scare them.
William was quite
the provocateur.
So was I.
Not anymore?
We fought for things
that really mattered.
- Like what?
- Like health care,
and the right
to be a dirty fag,
and to fuck who
and how we wanted.
We fought against the church
and the FDA and the government
and we were really
getting somewhere...
and nowadays,
your generation...
you don't do anything.
And you think
that's because of what?
The community is dead.
Literally...
as well as figuratively.
Sure, it's not
the same as it was...
but what is?
But there used to be
such a brotherhood,
and now, you young gays
just aren't interested.
Some people say
it's the corn syrup.
- Corn syrup?
- Mm, high-fructose corn syrup.
It's in everything.
See?
It's the opiate
of the masses,
numbing us all so we don't wake up
and see what's really going on.
So you take this with you
wherever you go?
Yeah. I like to keep
track of my thoughts.
- What kind of thoughts?
- Private thoughts.
Thoughts about hot, older guys
who give me money for sex.
I do not give you
money for sex.
I give you money
because I like you,
and I like giving you money.
I also use it for my "drawing people without
looking at what I'm drawing" series.
- Your what?
- I'll show you.
There.
Always ends up looking like
them in some weird way.
See?
Don't you think that sort of
captures your soul?
JULES:
Well, that's that.
It was a beautiful
service, though, wasn't it?
Mm-hmm.
Thanks for being
my date, Sam.
That's my last one.
I've been to too many.
- You're gonna have to be at mine.
- Oh boy.
Eventually, Sam,
my time will come,
and you'll have to be there
to pay your respects.
Who else but you to give
the keynote address?
I'll be there.
- MAN: Julian!
- Yes?
I thought
that was you!
It's Patrick.
Donnelly.
For heaven's sakes,
Patrick Donnelly.
- It's been ages.
- I'm in from Seattle, for Robert.
Of course, yes.
Oh, I'm sorry. This is Samuel,
a dear friend of mine,
and a former student.
Samuel, this is Patrick,
a former lover.
Wow. Um, well, hi.
How did you know Robert?
Another former
lover of mine.
Mine too.
Can I take you
for a tea, Julian?
Unless I'm interrupting.
No, no, not at all.
I'd love a tea.
As a matter of fact, I'll
make us tea up in my place.
- Where are you staying?
- 88th and Amsterdam.
Perfect.
I'm on the Upper West.
I thought your apartment
was being painted.
That's what
I said, Samuel.
See you later.
Thanks again.
You're welcome.
Nice meeting you, Samuel.
You too.
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS)
It's been a long time,
hasn't it?
Since we've...
had a tea together.
(GRUNTS)
What are
you doing today?
I work at 6:00.
Can I take you
to brunch?
I thought you were gonna
start looking for a job today.
I have some stuff
coming up.
- "Some stuff"?
- And...
I made us
another 200 last night.
What the hell,
Braeden?
- What the hell, what?
- What the hell are you doing?
Making us money.
You could work for money
like normal people.
So I'm supposed
to not take the money?
Yeah, don't
take the money.
That doesn't
make any sense.
Let's go for brunch.
I'm going to the gym.
- You just came from the gym.
- So what?
You just showered.
Fine.
Okay.
Well...
let's go
for brunch, then.
I don't want
to go for brunch.
I want you to stop
taking money for sex.
I thought you were
okay with it.
I didn't think it was gonna become
this regular thing you did.
I thought we could do
whatever we wanted.
- Sure.
- I'm just having fun.
Don't you want me to have fun?
I want you to have fun.
Yes, I do.
He has money.
We need money.
- Right.
- It's a win-win.
Let's go for brunch.
So is it
the same guy, then?
It's really
not a big deal, Luke.
Do you like him?
- Do I like him?
- Does he fuck you?
Oh, my God, Luke,
this is so stupid.
Can we seriously
go for brunch?
You say "brunch" one more
time, I swear to God...
Oh...
You know,
I do feel better.
I thought you were
just hangry.
You were.
Guess what I don't want
to do tonight.
Why don't
you just quit?
Oh... yeah,
that's a good idea.
I'll just quit,
now that you're bringing
so much cash as a rent boy.
(LAUGHS)
Why don't you talk
to that waiter over there?
Keeps checking you out.
The one in
the tight pants?
- He's cute.
- He's okay.
Keeps looking at you.
You know, I don't have
to hook up with someone
just to get even, Braeden.
That's not
what I meant.
Besides...
I only have eyes
for you.
You're not gonna keep taking
money from that guy, are you?
If you don't
want me to, I won't.
- Good.
- Hm.
SAM: (SIGHS)
Look at all this.
Have you ever seen
anything so vulgar?
I like it.
I don't mean the art.
I mean the people.
Look at these
fucking assholes.
Oh.
Yeah, total assholes.
I thought this
was your crowd.
Not anymore.
Want some more wine?
Obviously.
Thank you.
Sam, I'm glad
you made it.
Isn't it fantastic?
He's so young,
so fresh, don't you think?
Yeah.
Yeah, very fresh.
It's a great energy
in this room.
Reminds me of when people used
to get excited about your work.
DB, come here. I want
you to meet Sam Cooper.
Sam Cooper,
this is DB.
Isn't he just fantastic?
A real star
in the making, I think.
Interesting work.
It, uh...
looks like
you're having a lot of fun.
Sam Cooper.
Yeah, I've heard of you.
Great.
Good.
Are you working
on anything new?
I am,
as a matter of fact, yes.
I'm working on a new
video film project.
- Cool.
- Mm-hmm.
And this is Braeden.
He's sort of my new... muse.
He's helping me
with the project.
- This is, uh, Rhona.
- Hello.
- And DP.
- It's DB.
Hi.
Well, I should, uh...
It was great
to meet you, Sam.
Uh, Rhona, I want to...
(CLEARS THROAT)
I want to thank you
for something.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
I'd like to thank you
for not believing in me,
and for telling me
I was too old
to try out
something new.
- Sam...
- No, it was really
the kick in the ass
I needed,
and I never should have
said that your opinion
- is just shit.
- You never said that.
And I'm especially
sorry for saying that I hope
you choke on a bag full
of fucking dicks and die.
I never should
have said that, never.
It really was
beyond the pale,
and I hope you can
find it in your....
heart to forgive me.
You never said
any of those things.
I didn't?
Ooh, well, I guess
it must've all
been in my head.
You're a very strange man,
Sam Cooper.
(GRUNTS)
Cheers.
"Choke on a fucking
bag of dicks and die."
I've wanted to say that
for such a long time.
Well... good for you.
Now what?
I want to paint you.
Come on.
Close your eyes.
Eyes closed.
Your turn.
Close.
BRAEDEN: At the end of
one of these sessions,
the top fucked the bottom,
the final humiliation during
which he compared the bottom
to a cock-needy woman.
Or made the bottom
beg for it,
and made the bottom suck his
dick clean when he was finished.
This wasn't just Louie.
It was standard S&M
operating procedure.
I had always hated
getting fucked.
Now what?
What do you think?
What's so revolutionary
about a gay guy who doesn't
like bottoming?
If you don't like it,
don't do it.
I like it.
Can't get enough.
Nothing better than a nice
big dick up inside my butt.
I love what a little
pervert you are.
Doesn't this just
contribute to the way
the rest of the world sees the
receptive partner in gay sex?
How is that?
As lesser than?
Do they?
Uh, even in
the gay community.
Straight acting, no
femmes, masc for masc.
If you put your dick
in someone, that's fine,
but if you open up
and take a dick,
you're not a real man.
You're being feminized,
and it's bad to be feminine,
because it's bad
to be a woman.
It's... it's right here.
"Final humiliation...
cock-needy woman."
I didn't realize
you're such a feminist.
Yeah, I guess I am.
- You still recording?
- Yeah.
SAM: And that stuff
from William's book,
it's about the S&M scene.
- It's a particular kind of humiliation.
- Right.
Okay.
Maybe it's time
for you to be humiliated.
SAM: What do you
think you're doing?
I'm finished
with these, Sam.
I'm done.
SAM: I'm not gonna
pick those up for you.
Who the hell's gonna throw my body
over the fence at the White House?
Nobody.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Um...
(CLEARS THROAT)
Does Braeden live here?
Yeah.
I'm just, uh...
He left this.
I'm just returning it.
You're Sam, right?
I'm sorry,
how rude of me.
Sam Cooper.
I'm Lukas.
I'm Braeden's boyfriend.
(CLEARS THROAT) Lukas, do you think
I could have a glass of water?
Yeah.
Manhattan's shit.
It's total shit.
It's like a steaming pile
of pig shit.
Why don't you tell me
how you really feel?
It's like,
you know what?
What is that?
So is Brooklyn.
It's all shit.
Why do you stay?
If I had my way,
we'd move back out west.
We would
get a little house,
maybe get a bunch of kids,
and maybe a dog.
How romantic.
Yeah.
So you're a filmmaker.
Sort of.
What's it about?
Well, it's an art film,
I guess.
Yeah, yeah, it's about
my friend William,
and his lover Louie,
or his fuck buddy, Louie,
I should say.
You know, it's really about,
uh, AIDS.
They both died
of AIDS in the '90s.
Sounds pretty boring.
It does?
No, Sam.
I'm kidding.
Oh, okay.
(CHUCKLES)
I get it.
You know
I'm pos, right?
No.
Braeden didn't
mention it?
He didn't really say
anything about you at all.
Hey.
Sam came here today.
Why?
To return this.
I didn't take
any money from him.
I didn't.
He wants us
to be in his movie.
Hey, now we're talking.
- We never make Asian.
- And you look so good!
- Oh, I'm exhausted!
- After slaving in the kitchen.
- (DOORBELL RINGS) - Oh, hold on.
Let me get that.
Hey.
Ah, sorry I'm late,
but I brought beer.
- Good man.
- All right, let me put those in the fridge.
Did you start
without me?
- No, you are just in time.
- Yeah, we just got here.
Few minutes later, I would've
definitely eaten your share, though.
- Did he get moo shu pork?
- Yes, Sam, we got you pork. Don't panic.
I cannot remember the last
time we were all together.
- Oh, it hasn't been that long.
- Over a year, at least.
No, it was more recent
than that.
MAGGIE: No, I think
Mateo's right, Sam.
What about
Emma's school show?
"Annie Get Your Gun"?
Yeah, we were all
there for that.
- That was three years ago.
- SAM: No!
Mm-hmm, yeah.
To old friends.
- Very old.
- (LAUGHTER)
We should do this
more often.
- Cheers to that!
- Yeah, cheers.
I can't believe
it's been three years.
Time flies when you're
having fun.
- But I'm not having fun.
- Where is the sesame noodle?
You know, I can't believe
she's 17 already.
17, that doesn't
sound right.
- No, she's definitely 17.
- Jesus Christ,
I remember changing
her diapers.
- I don't remember that.
- And she's growing up
to be more and more
like her mother every day.
Oh, you mean all her friends
are gay boys?
Yes, actually they are.
Well then, Sam will be
dating them soon.
Hey! Sam's boyfriends
aren't all that young.
Oh, yes they are.
- Young, dumb...
- BOTH: And full of cum.
- They're not dumb.
- I'd prefer not to hear about this.
And you're just jealous.
Speaking of old times,
have you found those old
slides of William yet?
(SIGHS)
I'm looking.
Okay.
Ooh, what's this?
Well, I just wanted
to make one more toast.
- Oh yeah?
- Yes.
Jeffrey and I
have an announcement.
- You're engaged.
- You'd better not be.
Why do you always
have to ruin everything?
Oh, my God,
I was joking.
- Well, we're not engaged.
- Thank God.
- But we got married.
- MAGGIE: No.
- Yes.
- No.
- Yes.
- What?
- Congratulations, boys!
- When?
JEFFREY: Today.
You two got married today?
- City Hall.
- You little fuckers.
Oh, my God,
I am so happy for you.
Thanks, Maggie.
It's about time you made an
honest woman out of him.
Okay, to Jeff and Mateo.
What's the matter, Sam? Aren't
you going to say anything?
What do you want me
to say, Jeffrey?
Congratulations?
It's shocking.
I'm shocked.
Sam, lighten up.
Can't you even act
like you're happy for us?
Okay, sure.
Um...
To Jeffrey and Mateo.
Congratulations.
Congratulations on becoming
fully-fledged proponents
and shining examples
of heteronormativity.
Is he serious?
Are you serious right now?
I'm surprised at you,
Jeffrey.
- Sam, don't.
- Don't what?
Look Sam, it's great that you
guys can get married now.
- Why did you do this?
- Uh, because we love each other?
- Insurance?
- I'm not talking to you. Why, Jeffrey?
- Well, fuck you too, Sam!
- Fuck me?
I'm so sick
of your shit.
All right, guys,
come on, let's...
What are you
gonna tell us, huh?
That we've turned our backs
on the real fight,
that marriage equality
isn't real equality?
- Well, yes.
- Yeah, well, we've heard it all before, Sam.
Jeffrey, you spent
half your life
fighting to protect
queer culture.
Oh, gimme
a fucking break.
Marriage is
a straight construct!
- No offense to you guys.
- None taken.
It's about white male privilege
and classism!
Uh, I don't know if you've
noticed, but I'm not white.
- Oh, you are white.
- Oh, now I'm white?
Guys, come on.
What are you arguing about?
You've become them.
Does he mean us?
And who are you to talk
about white privilege?
- That's what you are.
- What I am?
Yeah. You are
a privileged white man.
Okay, we get it. Sam's a white man.
Can we move on now?
I have devoted my life to trying
to do important things.
I have seen a lot, and I
have never stopped fighting.
Is anybody gonna eat
the last egg roll?
Nobody is saying that the
work you do isn't important
or what you see
isn't real, Sam.
But we all saw it.
You just need to take a
breath and look around
and see that your friends are
happy and be happy for them.
Yes, I am privileged,
but I have used that privilege...
Yeah, to buy
sex and drugs.
...at a time when it was
desperately important
to try and make
a difference.
Cut the crap.
I mean, who do you think
you're helping with your art?
What does my art
have to do with this?
- Tell 'em, Jeffrey.
- Tell me what?
MATEO: Tell him
how you feel.
I'm not okay with how
you're using William.
Using William?
He was my friend, Sam,
who I introduced you to,
and he's gone,
and it hurts.
Yes, I know that.
He's not a symbol
for anything.
He's not a project.
Maggie, did you know
Jeffrey felt this way?
This was supposed to be
a happy day, you know.
Let's just eat and drink
champagne and celebrate.
Thank you, Jeffrey,
for telling me
how you feel.
And congratulations.
Can I bum a smoke?
Sure.
Thanks, man.
Fuck!
Fuck.
You sure you want
to do this?
Yeah.
Let's do it.
Thanks again
for doing this.
Sure.
So what do you
want us to do?
Whatever you feel
comfortable with...
...doing.
Okay.
What's all this?
Okay, uh, how long
have you been together?
Uh... five years?
Six years in September.
Just move into the center
a little.
Why don't you
take your shirts off?
Are you gonna
paint us?
I don't know yet.
You okay?
Yeah.
You're funny.
- Am I?
- Yeah.
Luke, it's okay.
We're not making a porno.
Right.
This is art.
It's exciting.
What?
Lukas,
why don't you, um...
pick up that whip?
How does that feel?
Okay.
SAM:
Want to use it?
Do you?
- No.
- Sam, what are you doing?
Why didn't you tell me
Lukas was pos?
- Excuse me?
- I said why didn't you tell me?
Because it's not
my thing to tell.
Okay? And it's actually
none of your business.
- But we are fucking.
- BRAEDEN: We're using condoms.
- LUKAS: Think I'm gonna go.
- SAM: That's not the point.
Yeah, actually,
that's exactly the point.
I'm on PrEP,
Lukas is undetectable.
SAM: You don't
have to go, Lukas.
Yeah, I actually
think that I do.
BRAEDEN: Sam, do you even know
what "undetectable" means?
Yes.
I thought that I could come
here to do something for us.
But I think I should probably
let you guys do your thing.
BRAEDEN: Luke.
Wait.
What the fuck?
Wait, can...
Can you just not
film me, okay?
Can you just stop?
Aren't you gonna
go after him?
What? Argh. Can you not smoke
for like five minutes, please?
- Excuse me?
- Yeah, it's fucking disgusting.
And it's also
really bad for you.
Gee, thanks for the tip.
You take it
for granted.
How easy you have it.
How easy you think you have it.
Is that why
you brought us here?
So you could get up
on your little soapbox
and tell us
that we're not living right?
We're not
doing it right.
You know something, Sam,
who needs another
fucking AIDS movie, anyway?
All right, AIDS was scary.
We get it.
You can watch all the movies,
and you can read all the books,
and you can take every fucking
queer theory class you want...
Right!
I'll never understand.
I don't think
you ever will.
If you'd gone from a
hospital room, to a...
to a memorial service,
to a "I'm trying to help someone
not lose their apartment,"
to a demonstration,
to another funeral...
Do you want me
to thank you?
For being there?
For surviving?
For fighting?
Thank you.
I mean it.
Thank you.
But why can't you focus on the
progress that you've created?
Things are changing.
They're different. They're better.
They're good.
If I want to have nasty
leather sex, I can do that.
I can do it safely,
without any shame.
I can live with my
HIV-positive partner,
and we don't have to be scared
about when he's gonna die.
You did that, Sam.
You did that for me,
for us.
For everyone.
(SNIFFLES)
Can you please
stop smoking?
- What do you care?
- I just do.
I care, Sam.
I care about you.
If you really think
that no one can
understand your life,
or who you are
or what you went through
because they weren't
there with you,
then what are you doing?
Right? Like,
what is all this, huh?
What is
the fucking point, Sam?
(DOOR SLAMS)
Samuel!
Hey, Jules.
God, I love
this place.
Well, why do you
stay away, then?
For good reason.
Sam, really.
That was
a long time ago.
Anyway, you're far
too old for me now.
Don't remind me.
Oh, come on.
You're like Peter Pan.
Well, when and if
I do grow up...
you're exactly who
I'd like to be.
That's nice, Samuel.
I guess I don't
want to be alone.
Well, it's something
I've gotten used to.
I just don't want
to end up like your friend.
Well, that's easy,
Samuel.
Simply refrain from
jumping out of a window.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna go
down to the water.
Here, take this.
I'll see you down there
at cocktail hour.
With cocktails.
Okay.
WILLIAM:
I am a queen.
Queen Victoria.
La reine Angleterre.
I will become known
as Princess Royale.
Princess of holidays.
And Louie...
Oh, Louie.
(MUTTERS)
I am the captain,
and this is my ship.
Le bateau impassible,
incroyable, royale,
all stuffed into...
black garbage bags...
...and thrown overboard.
- Sam.
- Sam.
- Oh, God.
- This should make you feel better.
Thanks.
Now... let's drink.
Oh!
It's nice to spend
some time with you, Jules.
- Before...
- Before what? I die?
You finish your film?
You know, I'm not quite sure I've
forgiven you for giving up painting.
Oh, not you too.
I still have
that first painting.
Your first from my class.
- You do?
- Yeah.
It's hanging in the hall
by the stairs.
I thought you hated
that thing.
I love it.
I need to do this
more often.
(SIGHS)
Me, too.
So many stars
out here.
SAM: I almost forgot about them.
JULES: It's an illusion, Samuel.
It's all
a beautiful illusion.
Are you just gonna
keep staring at me,
or are you gonna
say something?
You can't just keep
not talking to me.
I never thought
I'd be so bored...
Come here.
The square inch
of my room
Gets smaller
when you're near me
And I can see your yours
You can see the dots
in my eyes...
Is that what you want?
But they're glued
to the headline
You can do
what you want
But you never do it
under the gun
You can say
what you want
But you never say it
under the gun
(GRUNTS) What am I gonna
do with all these books?
Jesus, you're such
a child.
(WHINES)
Help me.
Okay, okay.
Since you don't
have any shelves...
let's just stack them...
neatly, in columns,
against the wall.
Just make it look
like it's on purpose.
When did you get
this place again?
'98.
Well, it's about time it started
looking like a real home.
I never expected
to be here so long.
I'm hungry.
Are you hungry?
I could eat.
So Mark is gonna bring the
tree by in a couple of hours.
I can't believe you're
forcing me to do this.
Hey, you're 55,
and it's Christmas
in July.
William would
be happy.
Now...
the place is ready.
What if nobody comes?
They'll come.
Thanks, Mags.
I gotta go.
But I will
see you tomorrow.
Do not worry
so much.
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
Hold my hand
I am afraid
Please pray for me
When I am away
Comfort the girl
Help her understand
No memory
No matter how sad
And no violence
No matter how bad
Can darken the heart
Or tear it apart.
Braeden.
Hey, Sam.
I didn't think
you'd come.
You don't mind,
do you?
Oh, my God, no.
The more the merrier.
I invited you, didn't I?
- Happy birthday.
- Thanks.
So can I get
you guys a drink?
Beer, wine, vodka,
gin, tequila, rum?
BOTH: Beer.
Okay, two beers.
I'll be right back.
Egg nog.
Egg nog?
Where'd you get
egg nog in July?
Don't ask questions,
man, drink it.
- Good, right?
- Oh. Boozy.
Hell, yeah.
Plenty more
where that came from.
Beer...
and beer.
- Thank you.
- Cheers.
Okay.
Yeah.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
- Mateo!
- BOTH: Hey!
Happy birthday, big guy.
Thank you.
Is Jeffrey here?
Uh, yeah, he's
around here somewhere.
I want to apologize,
for... you know, I was making
such an ass of myself.
Aw, you can't help it.
I really didn't mean it.
(LAUGHS)
Yeah, you did.
Happy birthday, Sam.
I'm so glad you're here.
- It's a great turnout.
- Mm-hmm.
Uh, who are all these
cute white boys, Sam?
Ah.
That used to be us.
Oh, now you're
just old white men.
- Ouch.
- Happy birthday!
To me!
ALL:
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
to you
Happy birthday dear Sam
Happy birthday
to you
Wish.
(CHEERS, APPLAUSE)
- Cake?
- Sure, thanks.
I don't believe
we've met.
Oh, I am Braeden.
Julian. One of Sam's
oldest friends.
- You were his teacher.
- I was.
Time goes by
so fast.
- Yeah?
- You'll see.
One day you'll be Sam,
the next you'll be me.
And then what?
Back into the ether.
A-five, six, seven, eight!
ALL: Angels we
have heard on high
Sweetly singing
o'er the plains
- Hey.
- Hey.
I hate it
when you smoke pot.
I hate it when you
fuck other guys.
I should say goodbye.
I'll be
downstairs.
Hey.
I'm taking off,
but I just...
wanted to make sure I gave
you this before I go.
It's a sort of IOU.
You don't
owe me anything.
Happy birthday, Sam.
The things we've seen.
Yeah.
It's a miracle we can still
string a sentence together.
I brought
those slides for you.
There are
some good ones.
(DOOR OPENS)
Mags! You wild child.
Yes, Sam, yes.
- I should get going.
- Uh-huh.
I mean,
we should get going.
- Is she okay?
- Oh yeah. She's fine.
Where's Julian?
Where's that old fella?
- He left, Mags.
- He what?
- He went home.
- Julian went home.
Everybody else
went home.
- I was right.
- About what, honey?
Oh, you know.
Okay, come on.
Oh, good night,
my dear.
Thank you
for everything.
Oh, my God,
thank you, Sam.
And I can't help you
clean up tonight.
- That's okay.
- No, but I'm sorry.
- Don't be sorry.
- Okay, I'm not sorry.
I love you.
Like, I really love you.
Okay?
You love me.
Got it.
Okay, good.
Happy birthday, Sam.
I love you.
Good night, buddy.
Thanks for a great party.
Any time.
Night night.
Merry Christmas, Sam.
Good night, Mags.
I'll see you later.
Like, tomorrow.
- To clean up.
- Okay.
Bye bye.
(SERENE MUSIC)