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Alcoholist (2016)
Goddamn it.
Go away. Fucking right now! Get out! Now, please! Please! Wake up. Can't be late... Because if that happens, you know who they're going to blame. Dad, can I play peppa pig? Not now, sunshine, daddy's working. I told you not to move those units till Friday. Hold on a second. Yeah, frank? Yeah, just don't do anything till I get there. 17th attempt. I failed again. I did everything by the book. I respected the timeline. It was right before dawn when I started my watch. But, something went wrong. Stopping drinking didn't give me the results that I expected. I try to resist for a few hours at a time, but instead of feeling better, i feel less clear, weak, and if that's not enough something's in this house. Seven hours until my next attempt. Bang. Bang. Note to self. He is a routine person. I was right there. Almost. Almost. I resisted until now, but this asshole's late! Fuck! Baby steps to self-control. He wakes up very early every morning 6:00 am. And then the asshole goes and has breakfast, then he gets in his fucking car and he goes to work every fucking day. Yes! Fuck! Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hi, good evening. Can I take you aside? Would you like to do this alcohol test? It's free, so don't worry. All you have to do is just blow into this device and we'll be able to tell you how much alcohol you have in your blood. Is that okay? Are you ready? Go, blow. Blow. Do you uh, do you want to go out the back door, dude? Can I? -Perfect. That's great. -Thank you. Do you know how dangerous it is to drive for you and other people after drinking half a bottle of 80-proof whiskey? I shouldn't even tell you this, but there's a police checkpoint just down the road waiting to bust people like you. Is that what you want? Thanks for the tip, I'll take a shortcut. A shortcut? On the highway? Listen, I don't really have much time to waste here, would you consider leaving me alone? Where do you live? -What? -I asked you where you live. I can drive you home. And I can get my co-workers to come pick me up. Are you serious? Listen, you see right now, you only have two options. One, you drive drunk, get busted, lose your license for a year, maybe do some time. Or two... I drive and you can make yourself comfortable and sip your Tennessee whisky. And I can take you home safely. Absolutely not. This surveill-- have the cars stop at 10. My name's Claire. Take a right right here. You can drop me right-- right here. Here? Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure. I know where I live. Okay, well, I'll just call my assistant so she can come and pick me up. Actually, I would-- --perfect. Where the hell are you, Claire? Can you see me? Yes, I see your lights. Continue onto the end of the road, -I'll be here. -Hurry up. -Yes. -I'm coming. Okay, I'm coming. Claire, what the hell are you thinking? So? Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Shit. What is going on here? Goddamn alcoholic. Hey, move your car! Hey, move your car, hey. Hello? Can you move this car? Hey, do you know where this bozo is? Hey, do you know where the owner of this car is? Take off your headphones. Headphones. No, no, your headphones. Nah. What do you want? Can I come in? Go away. Remove your foot or else I'll have to smash it. I'm asking you to get off my property. How long have you been dry before last night? Seven hours? Less than a day? Is there anyone watching your health? When at a certain level of dependency it can be dangerous quitting cold Turkey. Harmful. Listen, i have your stuff here. I made a mistake by taking it last night. I'm sorry. It was an impulsive decision and I came here to return it to you. I don't want you to come inside. --Who's there? -Nobody. -Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure. Listen, I've dealt with people like you before. Little psycho head trips. There's something you should know. You can't help me. Sure. I understand. No, you don't understand. What the fuck are you thinking? Coming to my house, trying to come inside? Thatta girl, thatta girl. Thank you. Jesus. All right. Just don't do any of that. Oh, shit. I love you. But if you're empty inside, I don't really need your company. -Is everything okay? -Good. Trevor says tonight I'm gonna be a moderator. Don't worry, you're gonna nail it. I hope so. You'll see, everything's gonna be back to normal soon. Danny! You look good. Better. But that beard, you gotta get after it. What do you want, dad? Just to spend some time with my son. I never see you. Well, what can I say? You look good. I'm serious, son. Wow, it all comes down to this, right? The education we gave you, the tuition we paid, opportunities with the company, all those sacrifices, and here you are like this. It was a shock for everybody, but you have to be strong. God, stop. You never cared about them. What did you come here for? It's about the company, isn't it? Do you know how many fathers support their family working for us? Hmm? If I behaved like you, what do you think would happen to these people? I am not working for you anymore. You see, I got a call this morning from, uh, head of security in my company. He wants me to report a break-in in one of our headquarters. Nothing was taken, hardly any damage, just a couple of bottles from the company fridge. The strange thing is, the thief knew the alarm codes. Do you know anything, Danny? Get out! I'm giving you one week's time to register yourself in a rehabilitation clinic. I want you to clean yourself up and come back and work for me. Otherwise, I'll have you arrested. And believe me, I will do it. Honey, didn't you say that you wanted to talk to him? -What? -The neighbor? Didn't you say that as soon as he got home there was something that you wanted to ask him? Oh, yep, yep. Hello? Can you come out here for a sec? We need to talk. Hey, hello? Listen, you can't pull that shit off anymore, do you understand me? I use that street, my wife uses that street, you can't just park in the middle of the road. If you do it again, i swear by Christ, I will have you towed. Hey! You fucking drunk. I can't sleep more than three or four hours a night. When I put my head on the pillow, my jaw starts throbbing. Even the good ones are starting to go bad. And since I can't drink anymore, the pain is unbearable, and, so, if anyone can help me out, I found a doctor who can fix me up for next to nothing... If anyone can find it in their heart to help me out. Thank you, Jim, for sharing your experience. Okay, guys, let's support Jim. Hey... Did the board mention anything about giving me a group? Yes. And what did they say? It's just a bit too soon, Claire. But it's already been three months. Well, after what happened, you know, everybody, including myself, feels that you need a bit more time before you should interact with patients directly. You little shit. When I started working here you hadn't even finished high school. That's true. And now I'm your supervisor. And as your supervisor, I suggest you chill the fuck out until further notice. They've asked me to keep an eye on you. You're gonna fucking die. You're gonna fucking die. You're gonna fucking die. You're gonna fucking die. Claire? Did I dial the right number? -Claire? -It's me. Is this a bad time? Um... Just thought we could talk for a minute. Listen, I made a mistake by showing up yesterday. I don't think I'm the right person to help you. At least, not right now. Okay, uh, i understand, then. -I shouldn't have called. -No, no, no, no. You can call anytime. It-- it's great that you're ready to get help. It's just that i-- I don't wanna take your case right now. I've got colleagues, people who I trust who can help you. I'm just so sick. I have these stabbing pains inside, and i-- I don't know if it's my liver and-- and i-- I need meds. Something that can keep me off the booze for a little while. I-- i-- I see things that don't exist and i-- the pain doesn't stop. I-- hurt myself, I don't-- i don't know in, I just-- -stay calm. -But I can't live like this anymore, okay? Okay, don't do anything stupid. I'm gonna come and see you after I finish up, okay? I-- i-- I won't. -Promise? -Yeah, yeah, I promise I promise. Yeah, yeah, yeah... Yes, yes. Can you please check if this is correct? And... -Hey, Hannah. -Hey. Did Trevor leave you, by any chance, the keys to the dispensary? No, I have mine. Do you need them? Well, I have to submit the meds inventory to the board before lunch and I had a little setback. Mm-hmm. Just hurry up, okay? And bring them back when you're done. You're welcome. -And now this one. -Thanks. What the fuck are you doing, Claire? Stay out of this. You didn't see me here. Stealing medication now? Look, I'm warning you right now, put it back. --I said, put it back. Don't you ever touch me. Claire-- I'm-- I'm gonna tell the board about this. You can consider yourself fired. Do you know what happens here when people get reported for sexual harassment? -You're a psycho bitch. -I know. So how are you feeling? Are you still in pain? Yes. Can you show me where it hurts? What kind of hallucinations are you having? None. You told me on the phone that you were having hallucinations. No hallucinations whatsoever. Well, maybe... I should take these back to the clinic then. Give me those. First you tell me what you see. First you give me those fucking pills. Listen, I know what is happening to you. It's my job. When you stop drinking at your level of addiction it can be very dangerous. No, stop! No! Don't do it. When was the last time you used alcohol? If it hasn't been at least eight hours those anti-psychotics could kill you. Goddamn it. Fucking bitch. Stop! No! No! --Bullshit. Answer me. --Stop! Stop. I never-- I never wanted to scare you. Okay? You understand? And I wouldn't ever think about hurting you, okay? -Okay. -All right, so can we just-- can we work on this together, okay? You wanna-- you wanna help me, right? I- I don't even know your name. Okay, so, here's what we're gonna do. Okay, we're just gonna-- we're just gonna talk like two good friends, all right? The fact is, i do see things that don't exist. And I need those drugs, but I don't think i can stay sober for eight hours. -You follow me? -Mmm. I tried to stay clean. I'd count the hours, but I just can't do it. That's why you have to help me. You just have to stay with me until I can take those fucking pills. God. Okay, i don't think-- I don't have anyone else to talk to about this. Please, just stay with me, it's not that long, it's not that long, it's just eight hours, okay? Just please. I'm desperate, okay? Please? Are you sure you don't want any? I don't know. How are you feeling? You haven't said a word to me in seven hours. Do you think it would help? Anything that can take your mind off drinking, yes. Don't give me that recycled psychobabble bullshit. Look, Daniel, i know exactly how you feel. You don't know a goddamn thing. Have any of you ever woke up in your own piss, choking on your own vomit, and not knowing who the fuck you're with? Then you wanna come to me with these sympathetic faces saying, "i know exactly how you feel." Don't you fuckin' dare. It's time. So how long till these babies begin? Just a few minutes. Good. Well, if you're not feeling better and you become dizzy, you can take an extra two in an hour, but I wouldn't do it considering your condition. Yes, well, then, go away. I can stay a little bit longer if you want. No, no, no, that's all right. I say no. -No? -Yeah. Get out of my house! Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's going on tonight? What's going on? Yeah, you wanna fuck with me? You don't wanna fuck with me. Go ahead and start whenever you like. And I can say anything. Are-- are you sure? I mean, i have shown up here, I got stories that would give you the creeps. Don't worry, anything you say will stay between these four walls. Once I had to have surgery on my trachea. They told me that I couldn't have any alcohol for six weeks. So after two days i locked myself in a hospital room and gave myself a cherry enema. You know, that's probably enough. Let's take a break, okay? I mean, was that weird, guys? Claire, do you still have my keys? Trevor asked me a lot of questions when you left. If something's goin' on, you can tell me. Okay, honey? I'm recording. -Honey! -Yeah. Do you have-- oh, okay! -Let's make Stevie and Laura's. -Okay. Let's open some presents. Okay. Right, this one first. This one... Something special? Yeah? Do you want it or not? Yes. I hope you like that one. All right, let's see... Yay! Can you inflate it? Here's your doll. Here's your doll... This anger-- this anger that I feel inside is eating me up. Some days I feel it's not the alcohol that's making me unclear. It's this fucking anger. This fucking anger that I can't express. I can't fucking express it. That is why I have to close the book. I have to kill. I have to delete him once and for all. Answer. Come on. Answer. Can I hire you as my new hairdresser? Yeah. Give me that. What are you doing? Sweetie, did you hear the doorbell? Why don't you go up and see mommy? Hello. I am parked on county line road. I don't know the exact address, but I am next to an old house, on top of the hill. If something happens to me. --What are you doing here? Don't-- I'm not gonna hurt you. God. Did you do it? Did you kill that man? No, I didn't kill him. Give me some money. Whatever you have in your pockets. Anything will be fine. What is this, blackmail? No, no, no. If you hire me, I'm required to honor my patient's privacy. Anything you tell me will be kept a secret. Silent, I promise. And what are you gonna do? After you've given me the third degree are you gonna report me to the police? How many people have you hurt, killed? I have never hurt anyone. Never. And don't ask me that again. Have you ever lost consciousness? -Blackout? -Yeah. Have you found evidence of violence when you wake up? -Maybe. -Destroyed objects? Yeah, a few. Blood on your clothes? This is not a joke. Do you understand me? And you? Do you understand me? There is only one person in this world that I want to see suffering, and that is the man that lives next door. To see him suffering is not enough. I want him dead. And what has this man ever done to you? He took everything. My wife. My daughter. ...the documents submitted and hear incredible testimony of both sides. I find in favor of the defendant, all causes of action are hereby dismissed. Counsel will meet with me Thursday to discuss costs, fees, and disbursements. That man didn't show up to any of the hearings. Not one. Didn't even come to say he was sorry. He was afraid of seeing my face. They said that he was too ashamed. That he couldn't take it. That-- that the incident had destroyed him. And that he couldn't move on unless he stopped talking about it. Forgetting. And me? I... I tried-- i just started drinking and drinking just to forget his name. "Such a tragic turn of events." That's what everybody kept repeating to me over and over while I was falling. How did you end up here? Money has never been a problem in my family. He doesn't know who you are? No, I've got somebody else's identity. To him I'm just Michael fordas, the alcoholic that moved in across the street. If you hate him so much, and all you want is to see him dead, then why haven't you killed him yet? Why? Why? Why? You ask me why? Look at my face! I am not well. And my health conditions have hindered me from being able to go through with it. Believe me, I've-- I've tried. Maybe you're not interested in the fact that he has a family? You had one. No, I am not interested. I don't want to know. Till ten minutes ago i didn't even know he had a daughter. Now are you gonna ask me that if-- if that makes a difference? No, it does not make a difference. Are you finished? Do you really want to stop drinking? Yes, and if you think that's gonna change my mind, then you are completely wrong. I don't care. I don't. And you really can do what you want. Kill him. There's one thing that I find in life is that people learn how to deal with their own guilt on their own. When do you want to start? When? I-- I think... Do you hear them? Do I hear what? Don't tell me you drank again after taking those pills. Uh! You have one new message. I am parked on county line road. I don't know the exact address-- message deleted. Wake up! Mr. fordas? Michael. Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my house? I'm sorry. I tried knocking, but nobody answered. The door was open, so I let myself in. Can I be informal, Michael? Well, I just need to check the electrical junctions. There was damage to the system last night. You know, all these houses out here, they're all in the same grid. What the fuck are you talking about? You haven't noticed the blackouts? Lights going in and out? Yeah, i-- I told him that there's no problem at our house. And these houses have the same wiring. If there's damage, i-- I gotta check it out. There's nothing i can do. Can you show me where the fuse box is, Michael? I'll only steal a few minutes of your time. In the basement? Okay, it's in the basement. I'll check it out. Do you think i don't know who you are? What you're doing in this house? The difference between you and me, I would never let anything bad happen to my family. And that bitch you call your wife, I should have hit her twice. Come on, Danny! You can't kill me. You don't have the guts. Well, everything seems fine. No damage. We'll just call it a false alarm. You have a good day. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, i couldn't get him to follow me. I tried, I mean, I'll come back tomorrow. I'll make up some excuse that i-- that I saw his cables were being chewed up by rats-- no, no, it's a bad idea. I thought you wanted to have a look around the house. Look, let's just leave it, okay, Harold? If this drunk is bothering you, I can teach him a lesson. I'll cock block his juice every half an hour. That'll drive anybody crazy. Let it go. Look, if he bothers me again, I'm gonna call the cops. -But I can handle-- -i just don't want to get in trouble because of that asshole. That's final, Harold. I don't remember exactly what we said last night. The offer you made, still stand? It's not up to me. It's up to you. I don't know how serious of a commitment you wanna make. Take your fucking-- wrist-- fucking watch. You wanna bury me in the back yard and-- do black magic on me? Fine. Just-- no clinics, okay? No doctors, no clinics, I promise. You just have to make sure that this is really what you want. I need to be sober. Well, if that's the case, then there's a place where I need you to go, and you will wait for me there until I finish my shift. No problem. I'll talk to you then. Oh, if you're looking for your keys you're wasting your time. You're in no condition to drive, it's too dangerous for you and for others. Take a bus. Take a little walk. It will help you clear your mind. Give me the address. 1201 pine Avenue. What do I do once I'm there? Wait for me. Have you felt the need to have a drink in front of you? Why? Why would you send me here? You're fucking crazy. This is where my life ended. The first few hours are the most complicated. I just needed to understand your level of dedication. I was supposed to spend the day with them. But my work... Was too much. It was all piling up against me. Everything was going wrong. So I stayed in the office instead. On a Saturday. If I just would have driven them myself. We could have stopped for junk food, Katherine would have gotten in the water a few minutes, and then asked me to go home. My daughter, she-- she was always tired of everything. Our job's one of the most stressful jobs you can imagine. When someone like Leonard goes to his sponsor, and says he can't take it anymore, well, it's a huge loss to all of us. Leonard, how many years have you been coming to aa meeting? -Two years. -Two years? Two years you've been clean and sober. Now you just want to leave like that. What does leaving mean to you? Leaving, you choose to die. Staying, you choose to live. I know you guys look at me like I'm some stupid fucking kid who doesn't know shit about addiction. But I watched my father die with 30 bottles of wine around him, and a needle in his fuckin' arm. So I know what the end looks like, all right? Now that brings me back to the key question the foundation of our health group. What exactly are you looking for from us? Turning your abstinence into something pleasant? Impossible. Those nightmares that keep you guys up at night, right? Do you want them to go away? It's not gonna happen. All right? The addict crosses a line that leaves no easy way out. Believe me, if I could erase this shit from your heads i would do that. But we don't do magic here. This is reality, not a children's storybook. We're here to help you work on yourself. Here you have specialists who are ready to fucking help you. But you have to realize that when all these demons come out, and they're gonna come out, you have to face them alone. But this is a fight you have to struggle through. Nobody's gonna fight that fight for you. So if you wanna go leave through that door and start using again, just go on and do it. All right, you don't have to explain yourself to us. Just to you. All right, let's take a break. Five minutes. And then I wanna hear all your stories when we come back, all right? Hey, I could use Claire's help with this new group that's coming in. What do you think? You didn't hear? What? Claire took leave. For how long? I sent you the memo. You didn't-- you didn't get the memo? What's wrong? You're unhappy? Come on. Look, it was the best way to solve the situation. Why are there police inside your house? My father, he came around a few days ago threatening to have me arrested if I didn't comply with his ultimatum. Sounds like you have someone who actually cares for you. He doesn't care about me. My signature's on too many documents to leave things as they are. All the firms that he put in my name are all being audited. Well, there's a place where you could stay for a while, it's not a clinic, an extreme form of treatment, but I understand if you're not up for it. Nobody has been here for years. How long would I stay here? Well, the way I see it is that the conventional method is like trying to wake someone up who's in a coma, by whispering in their ear. This method is like a bucket of ice water to the face. It's shocking. But it's much more effective. -How many days? -Three days. 72 hours is the time the body needs to weaken its addiction to alcohol. You'll be alone. You won't be able to leave. Twice a day you will receive food, water and meds. Nothing else. You won't be able to see me. You won't have any contact with me. Are you ready to take this step? Yes. Daniel, I personally guarantee that you will come out of here clean. Hey! It's cold. Goddamn it. Claire, please, do you hear me? It's cold in here. Please, god, it's cold in here. I'm too cold. Please. Hey! Hey, hey! I gotta get out of here, okay? Fucking let me out of here, I'm gonna fucking die. I swear to fucking god, i will fucking kill you, you bitch! You evil, fucking bitch, i will fucking kill you when I get out of here, you fucking, fucking-- --bitch. My god. Hey! Hey! Hey! Please! I'm desperate. I'm des-- dehydrating. Dehydrated. Please, just give me a drink. Goddamn it. This is a fucking dream. This isn't a fucking-- it's not a dream. I can't do this anymore! I can't resist anymore, please. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Today you can come out. Are you ready? Yes. These are the keys of your car. You can go and take a hot shower over there, I'll wait for you. There's another place i want to take you to after. Okay? Where are you going? Are we gonna stay here for long? Look, I know I said i would do anything you want, but I can't accept to be treated like this. I'll wait for you in the car. Do you think it's easy to digest all the shit you've been eating all these years? I never said that. This is my last patient. He died three months ago. Do you wanna know how long it took him to get clean? No. Almost seven years. The worst case I've ever had. He got to the clinic right before I started working there. I fought with him for him. And in the end we made it. I told him to go back home to his family, so he could get back on his feet for a while. When you're at the source of so many problems, it's difficult to forget the past. He wasted too much time. And then he didn't have any left. So for this reason, chose to ask for my help again. He asked me to help him move on. Maybe you won't believe it, but never for one second did I think that I would be making him change his mind. I knew I had to be with him at that moment. And I crossed the line a therapist should never cross. It was my duty to stay with him, close to him at that time, beyond everything. What the hell does this have to do with me? This is just the beginning of your path. It's just to let you know that if anything happens, I'll always be there for you. This is for you. If you're not ready. What does this mean? You want me to start again? If you want it. Is that what you want? You should support me. This is what your body wants. -Stop. -I can't control you. Stop! The relapse is part of the rehabilitation. I don't wanna hear you anymore. Claire. It's Hannah. Please open the door for a sec. It's not right you leaving us like this. We need you. Open up. I know you. Don't listen to that asshole, Trevor. I need time alone. And I need time to be left alone. But you've always been there for me, since we started all this. So now I have to be there for you. I'm not asking. I always ask myself if I could have done what you did. You did it because you think with your heart. Hannah, I'm done with all of you, okay? And I know you're trying to help me, but I'm done. Okay? Just stay out, please. Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god! Hey! Hey! Hey! Oh, shit. Oh, god. Oh, god. Okay. Okay. Come here. Hey! Hey! There's a man hurt. I need help. Stay here. That won't help. Get him ready. Hey! Hey! Hey! God. Fuck! Do you know how you feel when you receive a call like, how you suddenly understand your whole life will be devoted to it? Like a mother of a son. I won't be able to have a child growing inside of me. I think it's just like that. The man who I chose to love decided to dedicate his life to something else. During his darkest days, the only time he forgot to meet me was when the alcohol weakened his memory. During those moments i thought that a disease so strong could not be defeated. I hoped time would change him, when he realized we were gonna be a family. Every time he beat me, I was able to erase the pain, but not that night. Not the night when he killed the life that was growing inside of me. No one regrets the death of that man. And I don't regret taking the steps that I took to make it happen. I'm here for you. I'm here. Trust me. How's your head? It hurts like hell. Those dreams that I had, I feel better. Well, I gave you some methadone to help you sleep. That's why you feel better. And you don't have any abstinence symptoms anymore for a couple of days. You know you don't have to feel ashamed. What you did was a very positive thing. Trying to kill myself could be a positive thing? Jesus, you're worse than I am. You tried to kill yourself. And your body reacted and made a choice. Today you could be dead. Now, how does that make you feel? Right now it makes me feel like I have a headache. Everything that you ever cared about won't mean anything any more. It's a very special day for you. The only special day i have is... I get my hands on that son of a bitch. You just wanna kill that man. -Is that it? -Yeah. Of course I want to kill him. Daniel. You don't have to pretend with me anymore. I know who you are. What? I've watched all your home videos. Weeks and weeks to invent any kind of excuse to not pull the trigger. It's because i-- i need help, isn't it? That's right, yeah. I know, because being in that state of mind is a very comfortable place. You're wrong. Is killing the man next door really your only purpose in life? Because I want you to recover. But if you need this to happen, you can't postpone anymore. Today you'll decide. Hello. Veronica? I'm just leaving now. Don't tell me he's cancelled. Oh, no, no, no, I'm just calling to confirm the meeting. I'm honestly, I'm actually already here waiting for you. And bring your daughter. The focus group is about to start and the girls will be very happy to meet her. Oh, good. Neil will be so excited. Do you really think there's room for another counselor? It's been so long since I've practiced. No, that's exactly why I want to meet you-- before, and we'll discuss everything in detail. Don't worry, okay? So see you in a bit. So, you're all set. Do what you have to do. "The patient exhibits homicidal tendencies. Daniel's rehabilitation can't be fully effective... He needs to kill his neighbor." Oh, my god. No, no. No, no! -It's very nice here. -Yeah, it's beautiful. Mommy, can we bring Angelica next time? Well, of course, love. Who's Angelica? Oh, Angelica's her sister. I would have brought her, but she just got back from school camp, and she was so tired. Is everything okay? |
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