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Aliens Ate My Homework (2018)
Ready?
Now! - Ew! - It's a perfect likeness. Her name's hard to pronounce. You see, on her planet, their vocal cords are in the tentacles, but it sounds a little like... Art, we're getting them all worked up before bed. - It really is time to sleep. - There's no time to sleep. It's very important that we make this movie. Because the world needs to know that aliens walk among us, and they look like... Gotcha! Look, Mom's right, all right? Enough movie magic for tonight. Come on. Come here, bud. Time for all our little aliens to get into their space pajamas, and brush their teeth... With some Venusian tooth goop! - Yay! Goop! - Yeah! - All right. - All right. Night, buds. Come on. All right, night, sweetheart. Love you. Love you. Okay, let's go. We're gonna be first. Come on, let's go. Hey, Dad. She looks so real. Well, why not? Astronomers think there could be billions more planets like Earth in our galaxy alone. They can't all just be empty balls of rock. What was that? I just remembered something only I can do. Everything's gonna be all right. I'll come back, Rod. I promise. Dad? Dad! Dad! Dad! Hey, he's coming! Rod! Rod! Rod, Rod, come on, turn around! Rod! Rod! Billy. Hello, Pudge-Boy... No, no! Fabulous. Twenty-three. Yeah. Sorry. Wipe? Of all the kids in sixth grade, why does Billy Becker got to pick on me? You know how it is. Some people collect stamps, or comic books... It's his hobby? He's the official class bully. You need to stay out of sight till he forgets you. But then he'll just bug some other kid. There's got to be a better way. Yeah. Well, how about this? School's almost over. Couple more days, no more homework, and no more Billy Becker. Just two whole weeks of fun and excitement, and... And fun and excitement. Like anything fun or exciting ever happens around here. What's up with the freaky snow? I know. It's like the school's a giant snow magnet, pulling it in from everywhere else. That sucks. We need it to snow everywhere, so we can finally get a snow day. No, snow week! Snow year! Yeah! - Well, see you tomorrow, Rod. - Okay. See you, Mickey. See ya! In local weather, an extremely localized snowfall... What are you doing here? Rod! My office. Now. Rod, your Aunt Grace and Uncle Roger are just having a few problems, and they need to get away. If Elspeth was my kid, I'd need to get away, too. Rod! How long will she be here? Your cousin will be staying with us for winter break. Great. Her parents are having problems, so my break's ruined? Roddie, not everything is about you. Look, I need to work. Get out of my chair. Go do your homework, or something, okay? Eat a bug. You did that on purpose. Rod, Elspeth and I are going to the mall. You're in charge until I get back. Mom, no. I have to finish my science fair project. Well, you've got two eager helpers upstairs. Bye. Cold, but I like it. Don't tell Rod. It's almost done. Just hold still. I really want you to play with us, Rod. Please? It's gonna look awesome. Again! Again! Again! Again! One more move, Earthling, and I ventilate your skull! So, after they got the rabbit out of the tree, they said I didn't have to look after the classroom pet anymore, which is too bad because I really thought that parachute was gonna work. Because it did with the turtle. Well, two times out of the three. Who are you? Captain Grakker of the Galactic Patrol, commander of this mission. Saving this miserable backward world from total planetary disaster! But first, I have to deal with an unexpected setback. Wait. Go back to the part about total planetary disaster. Your assistance is required. Therefore, in accordance with. Provision 13.4.7.6 of the Galactic Legal Code, you are now my deputy. Request denied! He's mean, Roddie. Make him go away. Silence, grubling! - He's funny! I wanna play with him. - Back! - Linda, don't! - Back, larva! Back! You're a bad toy! Bad! Nobody ray-guns my little sister! Yeah? Well, to that, I say, boogers! What? Captain Grakker! Desist at once! You really should have let me exit first. But... Running off without the proper behavior module... Let me change it for you. Well, hello there, young Earthlings. Pretty swell planet you got here. Yup. Allow me to introduce myself, as I should have done in the first place. I am Madame Pong, Diplomatic Officer of the Starship Ferkel. Starship. Cool. I don't know how, and they couldn't let go of their ladder. So, I thought they were gonna be stuck up there for good, and I was gonna be on that roof forever. You know, I think Rod had a bad day at school today. It's okay, Aunt Gwen. I understand. After all, he's only 12. So are you, my dear. I think I got it. First, you don't want me to take you to my leader. Gracious, no! It's essential you keep the secret of our existence from your world's primiti. I mean, emerging civilization. If you do spill our beans, I am authorized to fry your brains - and the brains of anyone else you tell. - What? So, the policewomen were very understanding, but the firefighters weren't, because the Krazy Glue I used to attach my suction cups somehow got everywhere. But it's okay I know about you because you need my help to hide your ship until you fix the whatcha-ma-thingy that will change it back to its usual size. "Embiggen it," as you Earthlings say. No, we don't. What happened to the third turtle? - Yeah, you don't want to know. - No, I don't want to know. They're home! Listen, I'll help you hide your ship, but first, you've gotta help me, fast! Hello! We're back! What kind of science project is Rod building up there? It shouldn't sound like that. I almost won my school's science fair project this year, Aunt Gwen. Almost? I made a really sharp set of parabolic wings. Apparently, being pulled behind a moving car while on a skateboard is too dangerous, or something. Knock, knock. What was all that thumping and bumping? Just cleaning up. Well, I can see that. How unusual. The little aliens helped us! 'Cause we're helping them! Well, that's nice of you. We had to 'cause they have ray-guns. And they'll fry our brains! Pew, pew! Clever cleaning game, big brother. Is it okay if I go to Seldom Seen? Sure, just be back in time for dinner, okay? Eric, Linda, why don't we all get cleaned up before dinner? Elspeth, why don't you go out with Rod? I'd rather help you, Aunt Gwen. Thanks, Mom! Won't be late! Okay. Hey, you two, don't touch the walls with that stuff! What? You're hiding something. I'll find it. My grandpa built our house on what used to be a part of his farm. There are lots of woods, even a swamp if you go far enough. And when you go even further, you finally come up on this wide-open field that my grandpa calls "Seldom Seen." Grandpa calls it that because no one ever comes here, except my family. Probably because we're the only ones who don't believe all the stories about all the strange stuff that's supposed to happen here, like strange lights, or blizzards in July. I've been coming here all my life, and I've never seen anything strange happen, until now. Time to change your settings, Captain. We have work to do. Will that be enough room? For the Ferkel, yes, but we must move back a safe distance. Activate the embiggener. That's classified. Boogers, boogers! Boogers-boogers-boogers! What is it with you and "boogers"? Is that not an appropriate expression of righteous warrior rage and frustration on your world? Maybe, if you're five. How about fart burps? Where exactly did you learn our language? Boogers. Local weather is very much in the news today, as another occurrence of a site-specific snow storm... here we go. All set. Say they have to go back almost 15 years to find records... My mom says Uncle Art was rotten to run away and leave you like he did. He wouldn't have left unless he had to. He told Rod he'd be back, and your Uncle Art, he never lies. Grown-ups have a lot of secrets. My mom and dad, they think I don't know what's going on, but I do. Listen, dinner's on the table in 15 minutes, okay? Why don't you go tell Rod? I can't hide you guys forever. How long will it take you to repair your ship? Let me guess, it's classified. What you said. No, don't! Sorry. What's this stuff? I was making a movie with my dad. Sci-fi, obviously. My dad said it was more like a documentary. Do you like Star Wars? Star Trek. We need to talk. No. That's not how you spell "Vesuvius." That's how I spell it. Your mom says dinner's almost ready. Don't be late. Okay. You can go, now. I'll let her know you're busy playing with your dolls. They're action figures. Whatever you need to tell yourself, Roddie. Hey! New rules. No ray-gunning at anybody, not even Elspeth. Agreed. Well, we have new rules, too. Prepare to hear them, and obey. He's doing doll voices. Boys are so pathetic. I can't leave the house by myself? You have to come with me wherever I go? Why? Despite Captain Grakker's previous warnings, we're still concerned you might feel it necessary to alert our presence to your government. So? Most people think aliens are somewhere out there, anyway. My dad did. That's only because your dad is a... - Zip it. - Fine. Oops. Loose module. Okay, okay. I promise not to tell a word, but I still have a ton of homework to do before tomorrow, and if you both come with me, then who's gonna fix your ship? The rest of the crew. The rest of the... Who? Greetings upon you, Earth child. I am Tar Gibbons, Ship's Master of Warrior Science. Greetings back upon you, Tar? "Tar" isn't a name. It's a title, like "Mister," or "Doctor," though, your world has no exact equivalent. Inexactly, it would be something like, "Wise and beloved warrior, who could kill me with his little finger, if he should so desire." Good to know. And I am the one, the only Phillogenous esk Piemondum. Ship's Pilot and Communications Officer, but you can call me Phil. How can you talk? You're a plant. I am? No wonder I feel soiled. Good one. How many dolls does he have in there? I will, Aunt Gwen! Mickey. I'm a friend of Rod's. He has friends? Anyway, can you just tell him I got something to show him on the porch? Go up and tell him yourself. No can do. This is gonna get messy. A moment, my Captain, but I don't believe the flarving valve goes there. Goes there now. Might that not destroy all lifeforms within 50 kreltins? Well, animal life, sure. What's your point? - May I come in? - Busy. There's a Mickey on the porch. He's got something he wants you to see. Be right down! Whatever. I'll be in the kitchen. And no energy-inversion life-destroying stuff while I'm gone. Aw. He's no fun. Perfect timing! I know! Just wait 'til you see this! I got your volcano problem solved! Wait. I have something huge to tell you first. About that girl Mickey. I have aliens in my room. She doesn't look like an alien. Not Elspeth. She's my cousin. But I have real aliens, and they crashed through my window with their spaceship, and they're really small, and they need my help, but you can't tell anybody, because if they knew I told you, they'd kill me. They have ray-guns. Mickey, come on. You know I never lie. Yeah. So, that means I'm telling... - Setting me up! - The truth! - Mickey... - Getting back to planet Earth. Doing a volcano with baking soda and vinegar is, like, so old-time, but this is cutting-edge. Ingredient X, my latest invention. Here, hold this. Now, this is a safety pin. It's really important. It's really important that you don't accidentally pull this out, and then hit this lever. Hit the deck! So, gotta... You know, dinner. Bye! Well, that sucks, but I can fix it. Where's Elspeth? I thought she was upstairs with you. Can you go get her? Hey! The papier-mache is off limits to aliens! You're the alien on this crew, buddy. This structure's simple molecular composition makes it very suitable for rapid energy conversion. I don't care if it's vitamin-filled. I need to take this to school. Rod, there is much more at stake here than just your volcano. Really? Like... What was that? Some rude bud-plucker stumbled in without an invite. I'll set up the brain-wiper to erase its mind, assuming it's got one. Did you really have to do whatever this is? What? Would you have preferred total disintegration? That's my favorite. A little... Problem solved. You need to unfreeze her. Now! Will you vouch for her cooperation? Cooperation? Look, okay, so they're aliens, but they need a place to repair their ship, and can't let anyone know that they're here. So, they came to me for help. You? If you promise not to tell anyone, they'll let you go. Okay, okay! Agreed. Captain Grakker, reverse the polarity. - Don't do anything stupid! - How about them? They're way ahead of us, Elspeth. They flew here in a starship. If you're so smart, why'd you ask Rod to help you, I'm the one who knows how to organize, keep secrets, and do everything better than he ever will. Hold on! Proudly, mine does not. Not even a nervous system. A talking plant? That is so awesome! There's intelligent life on this world after all! Wait a minute. I'm intelligent life! We don't have a minute, Rod. Not if we don't want your mom coming up here, and wondering where we are. And I'm good at things, like... Look, Rod and I have to show up for our evening meal, but we'll be right back to work out a real plan to keep you safe. Don't just stand there. We have to keep up our appearances, and I am the expert at that. Don't worry. I got your back. I have everybody's back. I've got my back. I'm not quite sure what she means. There is something more we must tell you about our presence here. We are on a mission. Yeah, Captain Grakker said to prevent total planetary disaster. At the hand of the Galaxy's Most Evil Wanted Criminal, B'KR. B'KR. Pay attention. On your world, B'KR is in disguise. To move more easily among your kind, slowly and surely, laying his plans against you. What kind of disguise are we talking here? According to our monitoring sources, he is hiding here under the name "Beck-Er." Becker. You know this bipedal meat I know his kid. He goes to my school. He's gotta be adopted. Gaining the trust of the child could help us to investigate the father. Billy Becker might say he trusts you, but only to get close enough to smash a bug on your forehead. Feels disgusting. Tastes even worse. My cousin, Venus Claptrap, would disagree, but moving on... Deputy Allbright, Madame Pong and I will accompany you to school tomorrow, and if anything goes wrong, the Galactic Patrol will hold you accountable, and you will stand trial for your crimes. The Patrol does not take the loss of its agents lightly. Thanks. I'm sure I'll sleep much better tonight knowing that. In the meantime, Elspeth, would you be so kind as to continue to oversee security perimeters and the operations within Rod's house? What? Like you're not gonna remember that? It's not for me. It's for when something goes wrong at your school tomorrow, because it will. I'll need these notes to testify at your trial, Deputy. Hey, Mickey. Did he say "aliens"? I never said anything about imaginary aliens. Well, not "imaginary." You said that they were really small, and they had, like, ray-guns. That's it. I'm ventilating his skull. Raz. Raz. Raz. Buddy, I thought we'd talked about this. Pudge-Boy. Just finishing up here. Yeah, sure, whatever. Where was I? Yeah. Pudge-Boy! You're just in... Hey, what's this? Not mint on card, but nice detailing. Where'd you get him, Allbright? I found him. Thought so. 'Cause I lost one just like this yesterday. But... Nothing. Thought so. Everyone's a critic. Hey, buddy. Hi, Mom. The little aliens need to fix their ship. Of course, they do. Well, just bring it back when they're done. Agreed. The Basic Drake Equation combines all your favorite subjects. Statistics, astronomy, chemistry, and Biology. It's a way for us to think about how many worlds orbiting other suns might have extraterrestrial civilizations we could communicate with. Astronomers know the first few numbers to put into the equation. These numbers give us a good estimate of the number of Earth-like planets there are in our galaxy. Now, we get to the part of the equation where we have to make some educated guesses, and these guesses involve the difference between Chemistry and Biology. First, of these 40 billion potentially Earth-like planets, how many have life? Just having simple lifeforms, like bacteria, or plants, or even small animals isn't enough. So, then of those earth-like planets, how many have intelligent life? And then, of those planets with intelligent life, how many go on to develop radio, or other means of communication that we can detect from Earth? Remember that humans lived on Planet Earth for millions of years before we invented radio and television, and then lasers for sending signals. And who knows. Maybe there are still incredible communication technologies that we know nothing about today, because we can't imagine them. But they will be invented sometime in the future. Maybe even by one of you. Depending on the numbers used in the last parts of the equation, we get a range of possible answers, so that the Drake Equation tells us the number of possible extraterrestrial civilizations can be anywhere from one, ours, to more than 30 million! Whatever the true answer to the Drake Equation turns out to be, a big number into the hundreds of thousands, or a small number that you can count on your hands... Yes! Or simply one, it will be something that will change our understanding of the universe as we now know it. As the famous science-fiction writer, Arthur C. Clarke, once said, "Sometimes I think we're alone in the universe," and sometimes I think we're not. "In either case, the idea is quite staggering." All right, class, please take out your science textbooks, and we are going to go to Chapter 10. That is page 79. Now, pay attention because this is definitely going to be on the final exam. Do I have a volunteer to read the first paragraph? Spa Fon! Little pitcher plants have big ears. Let me handle this, and when I say, "Handle," I mean, "leaf" it to me. Another good one! Apologies, youngling. My choice of words were most intemperate. You should hear my dad. Indeed. As the snavel and wonkus teaches us, we should all listen to our parents from whom much wisdom flows. So, how does a plant... Well, how does anyone get to join the Galactic Patrol? Each has his, her, or its reason. Phil here is on a quest for his roots. I'm working my asparagus off. How about you? Warrior Science compels all who are able to protect those who are not. But if you all join for different reasons, doesn't that make you all argue about what to do and how to do it? Clever youngling. A healthy differing of opinions is as necessary as the frelnik and groof in spring. Well said. Okay. As you can see, despite our differences, the Ferkel's crew are united as members of the same team, helping each other to accomplish our mission, just like you and your cousin. What. We're not on any team. Young Elspeth, you must ignore the confusing surface, and dig down to find the truth beneath it. That is where you will discover what unites you with Rod. Yeah, like cracking open a weird-looking nut shell to find the good stuff inside. Think on that, young Elspeth, and you will see what connects you with Rod instead of what does not. I guess it wouldn't hurt to... Hold on. It's only been there, like, forever. I think I know what's wrong with your ship. Squa Tront! Yeah! Is that gonna be enough for lunch? Yes. Earth paper is surprisingly nutritious. Yeah, you should try it sometime. It will blow your mind! I love this stuff! Those for the aliens? Okay. All right, Allbright! Give it back! Give what back? You know, the little monster guy. You stole him from my bag. I didn't. Honest. You telling me he just crawled out and walked off on his own? What're you trying to pull, Pudge. Nothing! I'm just trying to get through the day without getting my face pounded in. Well, better luck tomorrow. How did you move so fast? Look at all the practice I've had. We are not done! I got you. Did you guys do that? Madame Pong has performed an act of temporal displacement, and it has temporarily harshed her mellow. You really need to start on some language lessons. The aliens need our plants? No. Just Phil. Phil? He's lonely. This is getting weird. What. Busted! Execute Plan 'B'! Begin Operation Cover-up. Sorry, guys. Be quiet. Hello. Hi, Aunt Gwen. We're having quiet time. Amazing. What's this? Are the little aliens all done with these? Yep. Mission accomplished. I'll just bring them back to the kitchen, then. - Carry on. - Will do, Aunt Gwen. That was close. All right, class. Before we get started this afternoon, I'll go ahead and collect your math worksheets. Thank you. You good in there? It's pretty good, yeah. Thank you. All is well, young Allbright. - I couldn't eat another shred. - Make sure you got your name on the sheet. I can. Fortunately, we found an emergency back-up supply. Thank you. You want some, kiddo? No. Rod, is your worksheet done? Yes, but I can't hand it in right now. Because? Aliens ate my homework, Ms. Maloney. As a reminder, gym classes are canceled for the rest of the week - because of science fair preparations. - Get back in here! Principal Carter will judge the exhibits tomorrow afternoon and award ribbons in ten categories. In the event of a snow day, judging will take place after the winter break. The computer club will meet in room 11011110 at 00:00:001:00. The cleaning staff requests that students please remove all perishable food items from lockers by Friday. Hey, check this out, man. Shock Rocks. No! No, come on... Well, Rod seemed... You thought X was good? Y is even better. No, no, no. Go away, go away! My God! Send them home. Can you believe it? Hardly any detention. They're probably afraid you'll explode on school property. Yeah! Awesome, wasn't it? Ingredient Z will make the best volcano ever! Maybe I should just stick with what I know will work. Like what. They're not my aliens. They're... What? They're classified. - My gosh. - Hey! Greetings upon you, Earth child. You have arrived at a most fortuitous time. Elspeth has solved the puzzle of our malfunctioning embiggener. Her? No way. We thought the problemo was with all the, you know, science-y techno-thingles on the inside of the ship. Super complicated. Would melt your little meaty brain and make it go all gooey and like that. Well, it would. But with the eyes of a warrior, Elspeth perceived that which no one else could see on the outside of the ship. A part fell off. See? It's called a Hydrocoptic Marzul Vane. Without it, the Ferkel's embiggener won't work. - Commendations, Earthling. - Come on. The only reason she found it is because I wasn't here. Give up, Roddie. I guess I'll just need to find a new Hydrophobic Martian Cane. Hydrocoptic Marzul Vane. The Tar says Earth science isn't advanced enough to make one. So, the Ferkel might be small forever, and so will her crew. Backwater worlds are all alike. Nothing useful anywhere! No. Earth has something no other world has. B'KR. If Billy Becker's father really is an alien, he'll have alien technology, too, right? Not bad for a lifeform lacking chlorophyll and leaves. I propose we act on Deputy Allbright's brilliant plan at once. Agreed. Um, what brilliant plan? What he said. If B'KR has what we need, then we must take it. Pew! Pew! Zap! Pew! Bye, Mom! Don't forget my volcano! I'll drop it off as soon as the babysitter gets here. Elspeth, are you going out, too? I'm gonna show her my school. She can use my old bike. Sounds good. Well, have a nice time. - Thanks, Mom. See ya! - Bye. Isn't it nice to see your brother and cousin getting along so well? They're only doing it because the mean little alien said if they didn't... He'd fry their brains with his ray-guns. Pew! Pew! Zap! Well, why would the mean little alien say that? - That's classified! - That's classified! I've never seen it snow just in one spot. It's crazy! My mom says it's only happened once before, right about when she met my dad, a huge snowstorm, just in Seldom Seen. Isn't anything normal around here? There, I showed you my school. Technically, I didn't lie to Mom. Just like your dad? My dad never lied. What's wrong with that? Rod, your father left you. He promised he'd come back. And you believed him? Adults lie, all the time. "There's nothing to be worried about, sweetie." "Everything's going to be okay, honey." As if. Maybe your parents lie to you, but not mine, and not my dad. If he's so great, then where is he? We've got to go. Let's hurry up. I've never ditched school before. Status report from the flight deck. The Ferkel's scan is complete. No intelligent life inside the house, and no human life, either... Phil, that's not helpful. Ew. It smells. Yeah, like pizza. Boys. It's like adults don't even live here. You don't have to be a kid to like pizza. Ew! My gosh, he killed them! He killed them! Billy Becker killed his parents! Ew. Those aren't real. They're artificial replicas too advanced for Earth. So, alien android parents? Parentoids. I guess. But if Billy Becker's father isn't real, then that means the real B'KR is... - Billy. - Billy. I believe in aliens. Do you have something harder to believe than that? Billy, my archenemy, the rotten, lying little kid. He's a fugitive mastermind from another planet, wanted across the galaxy for his hideous crimes. I mean, a lot of kids get bullied at one point or another, but how many get bullied by a kid who turns out to be a criminal genius from the stars in disguise? Sort of cool, really. What? I mean, it's not like you're some loser who gets bullied by anyone. You get bullied by an advanced alien intellect. Not a lot of people can put up with that. So, I'm not a loser? Not when it comes to standing up to an alien menace, but you sort of dress funny, and, you know, a diet couldn't... And we're down. At least there's a bright side to Billy Becker being B'KR. Bright side. This is B'KR's hangout. Right? He's got to have some sort of cool alien tech stuff here, maybe even something that can fix the embiggener. A most timely reminder, young deputy. Captain, we should begin our interior probe of this domicile at once. You two, search this room. Report if you find what we need. - Agreed. - Agreed. Only an alien can eat this much junk food and live. He's got all the latest games, but I've never seen this one before. Never seen this before, either. We're not here to play, Roddie. This is serious. What if this is some sort of alien game console with alien games. Looks like a map. Whatever it is, it looks like that part's some sort of alien countdown. Mom, Dad, I'm home early! Begin Operation Cover-up! Come on. Hurry up! Feels good to be home. Hey, Roger. How was your day? That's right. I ripped out all your good parts to make something halfway useful. Bit brains. Boop! Time to slip out of this old thing. Sweet dwarf star. Hello, Pudge-Boy and friend. I guess that's how he can afford all those games. I wonder if it's real. Rod, we need to find a way to get out of here! I know. Check through the windows. The Ferkel can't blast through these. It's steel. We're trapped! Where is the Ferkel, anyway? Maybe he didn't see us come in here. Or maybe I did! Hey, kids! Rod, what are we going to do? I know where you live, Allbright, and I know how to hurt you. Almost down, almost. Perfect landing. Um, why are you all so big? We're not. Then that means we're... - You are, yeah. - But if you can't... - Then we can't... - Correct. No! Not correct! I can't be small! You're small. Elspeth, we're all small. It's not just about you. Yeah. What he said. Linda, Eric, you be good for Mrs. Nesbitt, okay? - Okay, Mom. - Okay, Mom. I'll see you later in the afternoon, okay? - See you tonight, Mrs. Allbright. - Bye! Have fun! - Bye. - Bye. Do these come in any other color? Actually, you look sort of cool. You do, too, I guess. Plink! What was that? Plink! Yes. Like most plants, Phil has a runner. Hello, Plinkster! He's my best bud. Though, the term "symbiote" would be more precise. On their homeworld, plants and runners co-evolved to help each other. Plink! Just the thing for my root canal. I've identified the image. Hey, we saw that at Billy's. How'd you find it? Scanned it when we plucked you out of there. I might be going out on a limb, but it's obviously a map. Map? Obviously. Okay, okay. You were right. Map of what? B'KR's planning to build a hypertunnel. Dimensional instabilities are already disturbing our atmosphere here. Is that why we're getting so much crazy snow? And it will get even crazier until this countdown ends. Countdown? In one hour, two minutes, 26.4 seconds from now, roughly. So, what will happen when the countdown ends and the hypertunnel opens? In a nutshell, the end of your world as you know it. We knew B'KR was planning the total destruction of the Earth. This shows us how he intends to achieve it. Alcatron Prime, the Patrol's super prison planetoid. It holds thousands of the galaxy's super-worst criminals. Planet Earth. More like ex-planet Earth, as in excruciatingly exterminated. Explosively extinguished. Extremely... That's enough. What? Why would B'KR release thousands of galactic criminals here? The simple answer is to be cruel. In the civilized galaxy, cruelty to others is the greatest crime of all, and B'KR is the greatest criminal of them all. Millions have wept. - There's got to be a way to stop him. - There is! The flashing countdown thingy shows how long we have till your world and the prison planetoid align in, like, a dimensional web that is really complicated, and you'll never understand it, but that's when B'KR will need an Activator to make his hypertunnel. So, if we find an Activator... Then we can destroy it before he gets a chance to create the tunnel. And the galactic super criminals won't be able to invade Earth. In 58 minutes, 3.2 seconds from now, more or less. So, how do we find an Activator? It'll be close to the dimensional disruption that's causing your strange weather. So, it's in my school? Bingo, sprout. But to find exactly where B'KR's hidden it, we'll need roots on the ground. What's going on? Incoming communication on the galactic emergency band! Hello, Galactic Patrol. Hey, he's in my house! This is good. Do you mind? I'm going to make this simple, just like all of you. You have something I want, and I have something you want. Time to fly! Those maggots need saving. What's that say? It's a warning from B'KR. Inexactly, it translates something like, "Captain Grakker, surrender your crew, or the grublings will be forever blue." Those poor corn kernels! He popped them to pieces. Murderer! Activate external speakers. Now, you're talking! B'KR, release the grublings at once! No. Not until you give up, or else the Allbright brats will remain frozen forever. Captain, there's only one course of action that we can take. Surrender. Well, according to the Galactic Code, all larva must be protected. Remember, all is not lost until all is lost. Yeah. B'KR, hear my words. We will surrender, but only if you free the larva. Done. Now, get in here. Open sesame seed. My scans show six crew on board, so, I want all six to surrender, no weapons, and then I'll release my captives. Shutting down all systems ASAP. Wait. There're seven of us, not six. B'KR must've just scanned for animal life. He doesn't know about Phil. That's his loss, because I am a plant worth knowing. Then Warrior Science tells us exactly what to do next. Young humans, come closer. Hey! What was that for? A simple transfer of knowledge, so, you will know how to act when the time is right. An anti. What, you thought it was just to hold up your pants? Hah. Yeah. This is amazing, Rod. I know how to work this. I know how to fly! - A simple transfer of knowledge. - For when the time is right. Hello, Pudge-Boy and friends, including Captain Grakker. I thought I recognized you at school. We have a deal, B'KR! - That tickled! - Again! What a stimulating collection of artifacts. The intellect that chose them must be of the highest order. Linda's always messing with my stuff. Status report. I am harshed, yet retain my mellowness. I am fully operational. I'm not. This place is a mess, Rod. I hit something really hard. What the heck is this thing, anyway? Plink! Flibbix be honored! It is a Warrior Miracle! Rod, you've found the missing piece of the embiggener. The Hippo Marsupial Weathervane? Hydrocoptic... Never mind. Linda must've shoved it in here the day you trashed my window. All we have to do now to enlarge the Ferkel and ourselves... Is put the Vane back in its proper place on the outside of the ship. We're locked inside a smelly backpack. How are we going to get back on the Ferkel? As Warrior Science teaches us, Planjite-fribble wasn't smelled with a single sniff. True. Time to shake things up. What's he doing? Shaking us! He probably thinks it's funny. Millions have wept. Make that a million and one. This is our chance to escape. How? We're upside down on the flap. Warrior Science teaches us that when there is no other choice... We make the choice we must. - The Berserker Module. - Yeah. Captain Grakker, are you ready? Madame Pong, I am a Friskian fighter. I was ready the day I was extruded from the vats. Time to get this party started. Everyone back. Grakker! Bad wall! Bad wall! Kill! Bad wall! Bad wall! Die, die! Ho! Yes. The sap is rising. That feels good. Look who's gone to seed. Now, feel the fury of the Ferkel's fearsome fighter! Kreegah! Kreegah! Kreegah! We're not on solid ground! Grakker! No! The wall is dead! Brace for impact! The mighty Grakker triumphs! Bad wall dead! Kreegah! Rod, Elspeth, quickly! Who's next? No. We've got to get you guys out of here! No, young Allbright, you have a different mission. - Trust in Warrior Science! - But, Tar... Right. It's time. Phil reports that the Ferkel is back up to full power. It's up to you now, Rod. Hold on. Why him? I'm the one who saw it was missing. Young Elspeth, each of us has our own part to play in this mission. And this one is something an Allbright should do. He's getting ready to blast the Ferkel! Phillogenous esk Piemondum! Now! It's mulching time! I feel the need for speed. Whoo-hoo! This is where the rubber tree hits the road! Rod! Elspeth! To the Ferkel! Whoo! Whoo! I'd call this a face off, if I had a face. I'm going to smush you like a bug. You throw like an alien. Incoming! Cling on tight, Rod! Phil, are you there? Ready to put my petals to the metal. Phil, steady the ship! I'm about to put the you-know-what in the you-know-where. You said it, kind of, sort of. He can't! I hate these people! Rod, the hypertunnel's trying to pull us in! I can't hold this position much longer! Pudge-Boy. Stop right there. You of all people can't trust the Galactic Patrol. They've been lying to you. The truth about your father... They'll never tell you, but I will! All you have to do is put that down. Rod, close your earflaps. That meatpod's the liar! Why should I trust you and not them? I'm the only one who can take you to your father. Everything's gonna be all right. I'll come back, Rod. I promise. Simple choice, Allbright. Yes, or no? Dad... Rod, you can't! You know it's what you want, Allbright. It's not about me, Billy! There's much more at stake here! I'm an Allbright. I can do this. The Ferkel is go! Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Eat my pollen, hypertunnel! - Yes! You did it! Come on, Elspeth. We did it! You flew straight at B'KR to save the Ferkel! Obviously! Um... I don't think we're done yet. I'm going to blast you all to quarks! Nobody's going to mow me down. Flower Power! Yeah! Whoo-hoo! Fasten your pod-belts! I'll show this planet wrecker some real fun with science. Saplings, shield your light-sensing jelly balls. I think he means our eyes. Now! Dang it! Time to pluck this weed. Farewell, Ferkel! Reflect on this, B'KR. Boogers! Rod! Elspeth! Scanners say the Activator's in B'KR's science project. You have to nip it in the bud. I see it! How much time do we have left? Three minutes and... Who knows how many seconds? Just hurry! You have to shut it down. I'm going to shut down Billy. The gym's going to be swarming with kids. And swarming with galactic criminals. Phil, activate the embiggener! Just for me. Good one. You got big. Quit it, Pudge-Boy. My name is Rod Allbright! The sprout is blossoming. Elspeth, pull the blue wires. Pull them all! You're ruining everything. Now, you know how it feels! Go, Rod! Rod, the galactic criminals are almost here. Let's see you all laugh at this, losers. What? All those brave bananas just got creamed. The volcano? The kid's a blooming genius. Elspeth! One minute and counting. Rod! Ingredient Z! This is the big one! Hey, Rod Allbright. Your world is mine. I don't like the sound of that, and I don't have ears. The galactic criminals are almost here! Ten seconds. Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! No! Elspeth, no time left. Pull everything! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! I'm tired. I need fertilizer. Time to make like a tree and leaf. Fart burps! I saw everything. Yeah, it was the best volcano ever! Gone. He won't be showing his face around here again. Just like his father. - I'll get a mop. - Yeah. This parting is sad for me, Young Allbright, but I honor the Warrior Spirit within you and Elspeth, and wish you could travel the stars with us. Thank you, Tar Gibbons. We've learned a lot from you already. At least half of it makes sense. Let us hope it is the right half. I don't want to get all sappy, but even though you're not green, you two are fine human beans... Beings. Plink! Rod, do you know why B'KR told you that he knows where your father is? To be cruel. True, but what is also true, is there is no way for B'KR to know where your father is, because his location and his mission... Are classified? You mean Rod's father is a... A member of the Galactic Patrol. Is that why I knew how to get the Hydrocoptic Marzul Vane to work? Your father might have transferred more knowledge to you than... I've already said too much. Take heart, young Allbright. Your father would not have left without good reason. There's always a seed of hope. Perhaps you'll see him again... But only when the time is right. When the galaxy is safe once again. You think we'll ever see them again? - I hope so. - Me, too. We're part of the team now, right? - Right. - But we still need to have that talk. Star Wars. Star Trek. The Force beats the Federation any day. The Klingons beat the Rebel Alliance any day. Warrior Science says this isn't over. Until it's over. Hey! Guys! Did you see that? The Starship Ferkel. Part of the Galactic Patrol. Its crew are all aliens. Its pilot is a potted plant. You guys! I almost believed you that time. There's always next time. You were joking about those little aliens, right? That's classified. "And Billy Becker was banned from this dimension for 50 keltrons, stuck in a galactic prison with no hope of getting out." |
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