Hey, Dennis.
You escaped?
Paroled.
Time flies.
You got a light?
Got a smoke?
...Dennis.
Why?
Wake up.
She's asleep.
Don't tell me you quit.
You've been dead over a year.
Nobody told me.
I'm telling you.
Hey.
I will not get caught twice.
That's not how I want
to live anymore.
Why does she hum like that?
She's practicing.
She does it all day long.
The only time she sees a real
piano is in a church basement.
Oh.
They dust the hymnals
while she plays.
Just let me stay a little while.
Come on.
Dennis, no.
Then let me see her at least.
You're dead.
She's asleep.
Hey, let me stay...
tonight.
Oh.
Is that...?
Is that Rene?
Ouais.
Why are you kissing him?
Rene is going to ask me
to marry him,
if Marie ever agrees
to a divorce.
What makes you think that?
He told Michi.
Are you all in love with him
or something?
That's... that's none
of your business.
Rene is not a thief.
Rene is a thief.
Ex-thief.
He never had the stomach for it,
or the heart.
Or the head.
You just don't really know him.
I've known him my whole life.
Well, then you should know
he's not a thief.
What do you call this?
Maman?
You don't want me to be a thief?
I will stop being a thief.
What would be left of you?
How did I die?
Cancer.
Doctors were never exactly sure
what kind, but...
you suffered
a lot.
Of course I tried to keep Michi
from the worst of it.
Maman?
Monsieur Tremblay?
Um... English,
if you don't mind.
You caught me in the act
of losing all hope, huh?
Water is not enough.
They... they told me to see you.
Then they must have
told me to see you,
Monsieur...
Girard, Dennis.
Girard.
Girard. Ay.
Gir...
Girard.
Um, Gi...
ah, there you are.
Voil.
Dennis Girard.
Tah!
Fresh out of the can, I see.
Yeah.
I need a job.
Teh! Good luck.
What?
Terrible economy.
So what am I supposed to do?
Uh, I'd rely on family
if I were you.
I don't have any family.
Then you might try
living off the land.
I don't have any land.
You know, I don't even have
anywhere to live.
You also need to stop
being so negative.
Listen, you.
I'll see you next month.
Ooh.
No, four weeks from now
is one day past Christmas day.
Okay.
I'll see you the Wednesday following.
Okay, so if there's
no work here,
I should go somewhere else, huh?
Well, except you can't.
Federal statute forbids you
leave the district.
Listen, you.
You have a great month
and a very merry Christmas.
They're not too bad.
Fuck.
Is that you?
Hello, Dennis.
Welcome home, Dennis.
What are you drinking?
Scotch.
It's scotch.
Jackie, glasses, scotch.
Ah.
You're back.
Rene, ici.
Good for you.
Why didn't you call me?
I called my wife.
Technically she's not...
Oh!
- Fuck!
Yeah. Yeah.
I need a job.
I've gone straight.
Me too.
There are no jobs.
What do you do for money?
I bought a truck, you know.
I get jobs with it...
this and that.
It's nothing steady.
Oh, it's straight,
but not steady.
So what are these jobs?
Selling Christmas trees
in New York City.
There's money in holidays.
I did it last year.
You got her that refrigerator
selling trees?
Half of it.
Yeah, okay, good.
I'll go with you.
I already got a guy
who goes with me.
Yeah, me.
No, you don't...
I do it with Huge Antoine.
He's hooked up down there.
I get the trees.
All right, we'll all go.
No, you... except we don't
need three guys.
We need two guys.
It'll be a lot easier with three.
Yeah, but I just...
I don't think it's a good idea.
You know what I don't think
is a good idea?
Me with no home, no money,
no wife, no kid,
four years in jail
and then finding out I died
from some shitty kind of cancer!
All right, look, let me see
what I can do, all right?
We load trees
tomorrow morning at 9:00.
Pick me up at the Timmy's
on Chemin Calamar.
Ah, Rene. Okay.
Trois mille.
All right.
Okay, salut.
Bye. Salut.
Joyeux Noel.
Joyeux Noel.
How much?
- 3K.
That's wholesale price.
- No shit.
We've gotta pick out the trees.
Just gotta go down.
They're right down there.
That's where they are?
- Yeah.
It's got my name on it and all.
I don't see no goddamn
Christmas trees around here.
Where's the truck?
I don't know. You parked it.
Where did I park it?
I just need a second here.
All right, yeah.
Take your time.
I've got insane stamina.
I've been doing Stav.
Stav made its way
into prison culture yet?
Probably not.
It's a Norwegian art form...
a Norwegian martial art form
discovered by a Norwegian
in the '90s.
Guess what kind of mythology
it's based on.
Norse... Norse mythology.
It's got all these rune stances,
you know?
Fe.
Ur.
R-U-N-E stances.
Bjork. I know it's...
but it is...
Where did you get the 3K from?
It's a loan till we come
back with five times that much.
Each?
It's Christmas trees,
Dennis, not heroin.
By the way, we're not
equal partners in this.
This isn't the land of 50/50.
It's the land of 70/30.
Oh, no,
this is the land of 60/40.
You're on my land, Dennis.
I never dealt
in heroin, you know.
I never said you did.
I don't miss looking over my
shoulder every second of the...
money... that's the great, big...
Therese, bless her...
she's got the steady...
you know,
she went back to school...
You want this
next exit up here.
...to be a nurse's aid.
Isn't that something?
She looks after old people
in their houses.
It's this one up here, okay?
After her first day of work,
she came home and she made me
promise to shoot her in the head
the day she turns 65.
I said, "Okay, Res, okay."
Because that's love.
It's this one right here.
Go, go, go.
How are you doing?
How are you?
Good. Passport.
Oh, yeah.
There you go.
You having a good night?
Having a good night.
That's great.
So that's you, huh?
Yeah, unfortunately.
Yeah.
Well, that's it.
That's my house.
I sleep in there.
It gets a little lonely,
but it's not too bad.
Gosh, it is cold out here.
How do you do it every night?
Unbelievable.
That is impressive.
Yeah.
What, is that 45/55?
What?
The blend on your uniform...
45 wool, 55 poly?
Don't touch me, sir.
Oh, sorry.
Fabric content is something
I'm very interested in.
My skin is sensitive.
I can't wear wool.
Wool socks... forget about it.
A wool scarf... that makes me
want to rush off
to the nearest guillotine,
you know what I'm saying?
My mom, when I was little,
used to put me under this wool blanket.
She said, "Rene,
you gotta sleep under this.
It's gonna keep you warm."
Go back to the cab, sir. Sure thing.
By the way,
I really appreciate what you do.
These trees
haven't been inventoried.
I would consider it a Christmas kindness
if you picked one out for yourself.
Please go back to the cab, sir.
I'm going back to the cab.
And I don't care how
big it is either.
Grab a big one for your kids.
Okay.
Move it.
Mwah.
It just seems cruel to keep it
locked up in an apartment all day.
And that's what I told her to
tell the nurse... Lucy, you know.
You gotta...
it's not like a chair.
It's a dog, you know.
You can't expect it to tell
itself it doesn't need
to take a piss when it clearly does.
Please shut up.
It's not like a chair.
Shut up.
It wouldn't do that or even couldn't.
Shut up, shut up,
shut up, shut up, shut up.
Please.
I just... I love 'em, Dennis.
I just love 'em.
Shut up.
I do.
# Kiss me, baby
# Like you love me...
Hey, answer that.
# Reach out from the sky above me... #
Answer it.
Christ.
It's her.
What?
It's Therese.
Well, answer it. I'm driving.
No. # Kiss me, baby,
like you need me... #
Hey, Res.
How are you?
Yeah, I'm, uh...
hey, guess who's here with me.
Uh, uh, no, no.
Um, Antoine couldn't
make it this year.
It's a friend
of a friend of Oscar's.
No, he's an... an Inuit,
Inuit friend of a friend
of Oscar's, yeah.
But, you know, he grew up
around trees, so that's good.
He... he can really help out.
He knows what he's doing.
Yeah. You know what?
Can I call you
when I'm not driving my rig?
My rig.
I'm glad.
Good. I'm glad when I can cheer you up.
Yeah, okay.
There's no trees there,
you know.
Where?
Nunavut.
Where's that?
Where Oscar's best friend
the Inuit lives.
Trees. Fuck.
I didn't say "best friend."
Oh, man.
Dennis, why are you
with me, huh?
Why are you coming?
I want money...
money on the up and up.
I'm gonna buy Michi
a Christmas present.
Oh, really?
A present from a ghost?
What do ghosts give for Christmas?
White sheets?
She would like a present.
What, this is it?
- This is it.
This is it.
This is garbage.
This is where
you were last year?
You know, we should probably
get a good night's sleep,
start on everything tomorrow.
We've got a lot of work to do.
It's gonna be
a good month, Dennis.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Who's gonna guard the trees?
They're fine.
They're in the truck.
No. No. Someone could break in.
We're totally fine.
Hey.
How are you?
Hey, guess what...
they still don't have stars here.
What are you doing?
She asleep?
Hey, I left something for her.
Will you put it in her room?
It's an Advent calendar.
Yeah, she can eat chocolate.
She can tell you
about baby Jesus,
then count down the days
till I get home.
I know.
It's gonna be tough.
But I'm gonna be coming back
with some major dollars.
Okay.
Dream good.
Hey, if you need to pee
or poo or anything,
you can use Nick's Restaurant
on the corner.
# When someone very dear
# Calls you with the words
"everything's all clear" #
# That's what you want to hear
# But you know it might
be different in the new year #
# That's why, that's why
# We hang the lights so high
# Joy
# Joy
# You loved it as a kid
# And now you need it more
than you ever did #
# It's because of the dark
# We see the beauty
in the spark #
# That's why, that's why
# The carols make you...
Sit anywhere you like.
# Cry
# Joy
# Joy...
Are you a customer?
# Joy...
Kristoff!
Come here, you moron.
You can get one pee
for free, man.
You do not get two.
You hear me?
What does that sign say?
Jeez, I heard it all, man.
Customers only, man.
Customers fucking only, man.
Get the fuck out of here.
Bring me some money!
# Tinsel on the tree
# Yes, I see
# The holly on the door
# Like before
# The candles in the gloom
# Light the room...
Hey.
- Hey. Monica, right?
Tabar-fucking-nak.
Nice to see you.
Hey. Hey.
It smells so good.
Yeah. That?
Just a little taller.
Oh. Oh...
Crank it.
Another $25, I can deliver it.
Oh, it's such a pleasure
doing business with you.
That's 200 for that one.
You got it.
Man #2: Thank you very much.
Enjoy. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas to you.
Ah!
Shit.
Rat.
That's it.
Hey, are you okay?
Dennis, come... no, no.
Dennis.
Dennis, no.
Hey, you have a customer.
Season's greetings.
Looking to buy a tree?
Uh, no.
Uh, looking to sell them.
Yeah.
We were here first.
Oh, man.
Yeah, I'm so sorry.
It's just we've been coming down
here the last seven years and...
May I ask where you're from?
Originally?
Mm.
Chevy Chase.
But we tree out of Bennington.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
See, I... I just got out
of Hochelaga CCC.
Do you know it?
I don't.
It's a penitentiary
in Quebec, Canada.
Crazy.
Yes, sir. Yeah.
But right now
I'm trying to go straight,
you know,
for the very first time in my life.
Wow. Good for you.
You know, Laird's brother
just got out of rehab.
He was in rehab for oxy...
Which I cannot do
with you right here
across the street.
Oh, I don't want to have to do
anything that I'll regret.
Well, I don't really know
what you're saying,
but we're all set up, you know.
We're already moving bush
and we're just gonna stay put.
Sorry.
Okay.
Good understanding, bro.
Hey, what the fuck?
You are gone,
or whenever I want, I take this
and I saw right through
your little fucking neck.
It'll happen so fast,
you won't be able to open
your fucking eyes.
Now you see that guy
over there?
I'm gonna get him to help me.
He just waved at me.
He just... Yeah, well,
that's what he does.
Season's greetings
from Canada.
Did you say "please" at least?
You know, if they call the cops,
we're done.
Oh, he won't.
I wouldn't be surprised.
Oh, that's all you ever
are is surprised.
Hey! Ho! Ho! Ho! Hey!
Argh.
Trees!
That was terrible.
- "Trees"?
I'll take care
of that from now on.
Woman #2: "Trees!"
We need to hydro...
We need... I'm g... I just want...
Christmas trees!
Can I interest you in a tree?
We've got Christmas trees.
You don't want that tree.
Why would you buy this...
That isn't even real.
Ugh, that smells like a fire hazard.
Hey!
These are more
than just Christmas trees.
These are memories.
Get over here and smell
some memories.
Whoa.
I see a naked woman
in that apartment.
Oh, Dennis.
Oh, we got some naked jigs.
Man, New York.
New York City
at Christmas, Dennis.
Where you saw
the Flyers and Penguins
obviously some...
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
Oh, yeah?
- There you go.
...right there,
two teams that really
just can't stand each other...
- All right.
...the NHL this year,
obviously are a very
big cause for concern.
Canada is in a recession,
isn't it?
Trees!
Ho, ho, ho!
You need a tree?
Come on, look at 'em.
Smell 'em.
'Tis that t...
jolly time of the season.
Are you looking for a tree?
We've got trees.
I've got eyes.
Yeah, they're an amazing color.
What, are they purpley-brown?
No.
Regular brown.
No.
Blue.
Go away.
Idiot.
Eh, she'll be back.
You watch.
Want to buy a tree?
Fuck off.
We need wood.
Hey, what are you doing?
Rene.
Christ's sake.
Hey, put it back.
No, God da... put it back!
We've been here 10 days
and we have sold nothing.
We could have hit
three stereo stores back home
with half the trouble.
Coming here is the
stupidest thing I ever done.
Yeah? Well, I disagree.
Yeah.
Last year we barely broke even.
And I nearly got
pneumonia twice.
Going straight
is 10 times the work
and you make about a million times
less than the bullshit we used to do.
But you know what else?
What?
You don't go to prison.
Oh, wow.
You really are a dumb, dumb...
fuckhead, Rene.
Therese was right about you.
Sorry?
You're a criminal.
With a small dick.
Nobody wants to sell me tree?
Okay, don't sell me tree.
Oh.
Oh, hey.
Sorry, the other guy's not here.
And what is wrong with you?
What? Nothing.
Why can't you sell me tree?
Yeah.
You got light?
Light?
You got biggest, best tree?
Mm-hmm.
You're liar. Vermont guys
three block over got...
they have biggest, best trees.
Mm-mm.
But I feel so lazy.
No sleep last night.
There.
Yes, good.
Maybe.
How can I see this?
Give me that.
I got it.
There you go.
Okay.
Yeah?
How much is this?
Oh, uh, $20.
Ay, no.
$15.
$15? This $200 tree.
What?
Yeah.
But, you know,
then I do the thing with you
and you give it to me for $175.
Okay. Yeah.
I got money.
I need it delivered.
Oh, uh, well,
I... I can't leave
the lot right now.
When can you?
When the other guy gets back.
Very soon.
Okay.
The house is Van Toller Street,
number 192.
192 Van Toller Street.
Here.
Very good. Thank you.
Good. Thank you.
Uh, sorry,
what about the money?
First tree, then money.
I know what people
like you are like.
I was just talking to this man
who says
he hasn't eaten anything
for the last three years
of his life
except bananas
and vegetable broth.
Says he's never felt better.
Guess what.
I brought you something.
You know, you really hurt my feelings
when you called me a fuckhead.
Now you should have
some of this.
All right? Just...
where are you...?
Dennis, come on.
Where...?
Where are you going?
De...
hey, did you sell a tree?
Did...?
Oh, yeah.
Amazing!
Hi there.
You're lucky I still
suffer the insomnia.
Okay, come in, please.
This way.
And remove your shoes.
Where I am from, my father cuts
down Christmas tree himself
in Chernyayevsky Forest.
This is before they shot him
to death, of course.
This way.
You have family?
Yeah. I mean, I'll be going
back to them, yeah.
You should put it here
by window.
Dentists like to show off
all their acquisitions.
Olga, how many times
must we tell you?
We are not dentists.
I am periodontist,
she is oral surgeon.
Yeah.
No, fresh painted!
Fresh.
Oh, sorry.
Ugh.
Guess what color
dentists choose.
Guess.
Dentists.
I don't know.
Enamel.
Pshh.
No fucking imagination.
No. Wait here.
Get this.
Ah, they're here.
Here we are.
Oy.
I got it.
You like this piano?
Uh-huh.
It plays beautiful music.
But I cannot say
the same for me.
You like Rachmaninoff?
Hmm?
This is not Rachmaninoff.
Arthritis.
Don't I look too young
for joint issues, huh?
Okay, we do this.
Here, please this way.
Okay.
In here.
Okay. Here.
Okay?
Yeah, just get it...
Down, down, down, down, down.
Is it in?
Yes.
It's there?
But it's not in center.
Up, up, up, up.
Like that?
Down, down.
Okay, now screw put in.
Yes, we can screw...
Ow.
Okay, good.
Oh. Oh.
You okay?
Here, sit.
Sit. Okay.
Okay.
If you're going to throw up,
do it in tree stand,
not on hardwood floor.
Okay?
Morning. Here.
Sorry.
It's okay.
Have this.
Okay.
Here, this is yours.
Thank you.
This.
Tip,
courtesy of dentists.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Merry Christmas.
What's that?
It's for the money.
What money?
From the sales.
I'm gonna keep the key
and you record the sales.
We should be Quebecois.
It might help.
I go to cut down this tree
behind the humble shack
that I call home
in the Motherland.
I see a butt of a bear.
He's in... what do you say?
...hibernation.
I don't want to wake this bear,
so I do what any resourceful
Quebecois lumberjack does...
I put the silencer on the axe.
I have a tree so pretty,
it look like your twin.
Together, you look like
the Mona Lisa
and the Mona Liser.
Oh, fuck me.
Hey, we moved, okay?
We moved.
Man #2: Hey, hey.
- Get out of the way.
We don't want...
That's fine.
That's it?
What the fuck?
She home?
Who?
Our naked neighbor.
This is about the time
she usually gets back.
I thought I saw her
on the street the other day
but with clothes on.
It's so hard...
Hey.
Hey, it's me.
Yeah? Aww.
I miss you too.
By the way,
I meant to tell you,
I found myself in a conversation
with a male nurse the other day
and we got on
the subject of footwear.
And he swears by this brand
called Fushies or...
no, Kushies with a K.
Kushies. Yeah. Yeah.
I think so.
He said expensive,
but it was totally worth it.
Yeah, he said he had his pair for,
like, three years or something
and that they were like new.
And you know what?
I looked at them and they
did look completely new.
Hey, what are you doing?
You know, there's this
naked woman who lives across...
I'm just taking this to Nick's.
He's gonna help us
with business.
Oh, you're not
giving away our trees.
Let me call you back.
Love you too.
We've sold one tree so far.
I've sold one tree so far.
Yeah.
One.
We're on a roll.
Oh?
Don't fight it.
This is a business.
You... what kind of trees
are these?
Christmas trees.
Right, but what kind?
Are they firs?
Are they pines?
What kind?
I don't know.
It doesn't matter.
We're... we're not selling trees.
We're selling a mood.
We're selling a feeling,
you know?
The tale of two Quebecois
with the joual and the tuque
and the tobacco-stained teeth...
...who snowshoed
their way here
and spread their winter
carnival vibration.
You're kind of sickening.
I tell you, the joint has crushed
whatever little left
you had in there.
I'm taking this to Nick's,
all right?
It's gonna help us
with business.
Don't worry,
I won't be gone for very long.
Ha! Yeah, gone.
Exactly. That's you.
I never would have had
to go to prison
if you had just shown up.
No. No.
Dennis, I gave you
plenty of warning.
I told you that I needed
to stay home and help Marie.
Yeah. It was a safe job
and you were the safe cracker.
That's where you needed to be.
Which is why you shouldn't
have gone in alone.
I told you.
I had to.
I have a family.
Oh, no.
Don't you feel sorry for me.
Too late.
I'm taking this to Nick's.
Yeah.
You touch my wife's hair?
What?
Do you touch my wife's hair?
Yeah, of course I do.
I don't want you touching it.
I don't want you smelling it.
I'm gonna touch it.
And I smell it.
And I kiss it.
And I'm gonna marry her.
No, you're not.
Yes, I am.
No.
As soon as Marie
gives me a divorce...
I am.
Calling collect.
- Name of your party?
Therese.
And your name?
All?
Rene.
Rene.
All?
Don't call me like that, cheri.
I could barely say
I loved you...
The weird thing is,
last night in my dream,
this very tree leaned over
and whispered in my ear,
"Sell me to the guy
with a coat and a hat."
Kismet.
Shit.
You know, she wishes that...
she hadn't done that...
told your kid that you're dead.
Oh, fuck yeah!
We sold five trees today, man.
Five trees. Let's get a drink.
Let's celebrate.
No, I'm not leaving the lot.
Every place around
here is closed.
I know a girl who lives
right there.
She'll be up.
She'll give us a drink.
How do you know a girl
who lives right there?
From last year.
Come on.
Come on.
Dennis! Dennis.
Dennis!
- Come over here!
Dennis!
Dennis, come over!
We got you a...
we got you a drink.
Come on.
Oh, I think that was Dennis's.
Too-big tree is tipping over.
At palace of dentists.
Oh, hang on.
Someone was
offering me a free scotch.
I... I did.
I'll offer you his
if he doesn't take it.
Is he your boyfriend?
No.
Is she your girlfriend?
No.
Then come,
fix stupid fucking tree.
I'm gonna marry his wife,
so he's feeling a little mad and sad.
Shoes.
I made you some tacos.
Do you think I am your friend?
Uh-huh.
My friend, you smell.
Huh.
Ugh!
Accidents will screw me
every time.
Better.
Here.
Beautiful.
Yeah. My daughter.
My wife told her I'm dead.
Then you should forget her.
How is dish?
Sorry?
How is stolen candy dish?
You liking it?
Hmm? Big Swarovski fan?
Oh.
I...
I can bring that back.
Beh. It broke.
Clumsy carpet cleaners
knocked it over on exit.
Have a great holiday.
Excuse me, which
one do you like?
Do you like this one
or this one?
Both.
Hey, what the hell is going on?
They came.
I told you it would happen.
Today is the day.
The rush is on.
I will take this one.
Ah.
You make homeless
tree very happy.
Do you need me to trim
those branches?
No, I like it just the way it
is.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Okay. Thank you.
I've got a question.
I've got these two enormous
vintage cherubs, very heavy.
Okay.
I need a very strong tree.
Ah, yeah. Dennis.
Yeah. Yeah.
Dennis is expert,
herbalist professional.
Okay.
He can answer any question
you might have, scientific.
Scotch... the needles
radiate out from the branches.
Mm-hmm.
It's very strong.
Sharp needles, though.
Do you have children in the house?
No.
Because you don't want them
grabbing the things.
Why don't you just give me $200
and take whatever tree
you want, okay?
Great. You help yourself, okay?
This one?
Yes, ma'am.
Any one you want. Very good.
Thanks.
Thanks.
There's got to be about 1,500 there.
No shit.
Put it in the box.
Okay.
Where did you get those clothes?
Some dentist.
# Kiss me, baby
# Like you love me
# Reach out from the sky...
Hey.
Marie, how...?
Wow, it's g...
it's good to hear your voice.
Look, if you're calling
about this month's...
Yeah?
Really?
Congratulations.
Yeah, I'll sign
whatever you need me to sign.
No, I'm... I'm...
this is... I'm pleased for...
hello?
Marie is giving me a divorce.
I didn't even take her
on a honeymoon.
Delivery?
Hi. Could you find that nice
French Canadian man?
He told me when I found my perfect tree,
he'd wrap it for me.
I'm very, very sorry, sir.
It'll just be another
five minutes, okay?
God damn it.
Here.
Huh?
Oh, no, thanks.
Not right now. Thanks.
Hey. Shit.
God damn it.
Hey!
Hi.
Hi.
How much?
Uh, 50 bucks.
Hey, you know, it cost a lot
to get them down here.
I want a tree, Mama.
Shh.
Um, okay, come on.
Let's go.
No, I want a tree, Mama.
Come on, let's go.
Sorry.
You have heart like Putin.
You're the one who told me
what to charge.
What to charge the haves,
like dentists.
Habs?
Haves.
# Kiss me, baby...
I have this. I have that.
# Like you love me...
I have tickets to Knicks game.
# Sky above me...
I have everything.
I have Dolce & Gabbana
underwears.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That should be on there.
# Kiss me, baby, like you love me...
- Here.
Thank you.
# Reach out from...
Merry Christmas.
Christ loves you!
He loves you,
each and every one.
There you go.
It's bare. You know, you can trim
the bottom off a little bit there.
# From the sky above me...
Okay.
Fuck you very much.
Five trees...
50, 50, 50, 150, 172.
That's all the guy had.
Thanks, Nzomo.
If I need you tomorrow night,
I'll let you know.
Okay?
# Kiss me, baby,
like you love me #
# Reach out from the sky
above me... #
# Kiss me, baby,
kiss me slow. #
Hello.
Christ.
I knew it. And why are you
answering his phone?
Uh, he's not feeling well.
Is he all right?
Yeah.
It's just some kind of,
you know, sickness.
Well, put him on the phone.
He's... he's sleeping.
All right, well, have him
call me when he wakes up.
Hey, how is she?
She's fine.
You should really
put her out of your mind.
Your parole officer called here.
Oh, really?
Did you tell him I was dead?
No, I told him
you were working.
He said, "You're kidding,"
and to wish you a merry Christmas.
You know, if you get Rene
into some kind of trouble...
Therese, Therese,
I told you I'm straight.
And you should really
think about that.
Just have him call me
when he wakes up.
Hey!
Hey!
Merry Christmas, tree man.
Rene!
# Kiss me, baby,
like you love me #
# Reach out from the sky
above me... #
Still sick.
- Oh, you're lying.
Terry.
You always say "Terry"
when you're lying to me.
Why would I lie for him?
He just needs to sleep it off.
You know, the bottoms
on these kinds of firs...
they... they droop sometimes.
You have to trim them.
Right, I owe you 25.
Let me see.
We may have moved
into the land of 45/55.
Okay.
All right.
Merry Christmas.
Same to you.
Sorry about that.
Merry Christmas.
He's a bit, you know,
under the weather.
You got that?
- Bye.
Don't put any sugar
in the water, okay?
It's not gonna help.
The tree's dead already.
Oh, look who's here.
You know, I should
inventory the trees again.
I haven't done the count
in, like, two days.
And I swear we're running short
a few grand.
Do you have any idea how we could
be running short a few grand?
Oh, no.
How did you pay for it?
I didn't steal it.
I know you didn't steal it,
because I didn't steal it for you.
I bought it.
With whose money?
My money.
Where the hell did you get that?
Oh, for Chri...
this is not your money.
This is not anybody's money
until we were d...
you stole it.
No.
Oh, yes, you did.
No.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
No, no. No, no, no. No.
All you said... all you said
was that I keep the records
and you keep the key.
I don't need a key.
We need a tree.
A good one, yo.
Yeah? Big or small?
Uh...
Hey, why did you tell her
I was sick?
She didn't know where you were,
so I made something up.
For her, not for you.
Ha! Not for you!
A fake-looking tree
would be good.
How do you do it?
As fake and as perfect-looking
as possible.
I mean, seriously.
Do what?
Get away with it all.
Dennis.
I'd like a medium-sized one,
you know,
with perfect proportions.
Pamela Anderson.
Exactly.
Oh.
I got the tree. Come on.
How... how...?
Come on.
How do you get away with all this
goddamn wonder, innocent bullshit...
Oh, you know...
...goddamn
fluffy-bunny-rabbit crap?
I cannot believe
anybody buys it,
let alone my own fucking wife!
You know what, Dennis?
I took it pretty good
when you hit me in the face
back in Quebec.
I bought you a drink,
if I remember correctly.
I didn't say anything
when you wanted to come down.
I understand.
You need cash.
But I'll tell you something...
I'm gonna marry Therese.
I told you.
I told you that the whole time.
Thief. What,
did you think I was kidding?
Guys, sorry about the drama.
Come here.
Check this one out.
Thief.
Thief.
How about this?
I like it.
I'm kind of turned on.
Thief!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Fucking...
Take it easy.
What's your problem, pal?
What is wrong with you?
He stole my wife.
- What?
Is that true?
I'm marrying her.
Aww.
That's fucked up.
He was in prison for four years.
I was looking out for her.
Things happened.
Yo, you stole his woman
while he was in the joint.
That's even more fucked up.
Right.
And... and he doesn't
even miss her.
He goes out for three days at a
time and he doesn't even miss her.
Of course I miss her.
Oh, yeah?
How much? Hmm?
How... wh...?
Uh, would you...
would you endure a dull pain
24 hours a day
for the rest of your life
to make her appear here
right now?
What, are you 10?
Would you...
would you give up
whatever money we're gonna make
to see her here right now?
I'm bringing
the money home for her,
and for Michi, you idiot.
Would you...?
And a ring to marry her.
That's the point of all of this.
Would you... would you cut off
your own arm and feet
to see her here right now
and... and maybe hold her
in the leftover arm
for, like, 10 seconds
and just lay your face
against the right side
of her neck?
Wait, what?
What the fuck
are you talking about?
See? You see?
You don't deserve her.
Oh, and you do, huh?
What about her?
Does she have any say in this?
Does Therese deserve somebody
who makes every single person
feel 10 times worse?
I'll tell you something...
I don't blame her.
No wonder she couldn't
take it anymore.
Hey, hey, hey, easy, easy.
Not worth it.
Not worth it.
I'm not buying a tree
from this lout.
How much do you want
for the tree?
That's... that's a Scotch pine.
$200.
$200?
There you go.
Don't give him any, all right?
Yeah, bro,
and get your wife back.
Do whatever it takes.
You get her back.
Okay.
All right?
You want me to mesh that up for you?
No, I'm good.
I like her how she is, man.
She's perfect. Thanks, bro.
Dick.
Man #3:
Hello?
I'd like to buy
a Christmas tree.
What kind?
One that doesn't look like
it was bought by a blind guy.
Operator.
Collect call.
Your party's name?
Therese.
Your name?
Dennis.
All?
I have
a collect call from Dennis.
All?
Do you accept the charges?
Uh...
D'accord. Maman!
All?
- Do you accept...
All right, Therese, just listen.
Just listen to me, all right?
And don't say a word.
Um...
Madame, do you accept the charges?
Hey, it's snowing here.
The whole scene out here...
it looks like...
Sir, she must accept the charges.
Like a... like a snow globe,
you know, when you shake it up.
Man!
Madame, do you accept the charges?
Hold on!
And, um, the...
I'll have to disconnect
unless the charges are accepted.
Um, the whole thing...
it looks like one of those snow globes,
you know, with... Sir, I am sorry.
I have to disconnect.
That's it?
Yes?
Well, Olga...
turns out that God blesses
the liars and cheaters.
And?
What the fuck are you doing?
No. You quit.
It is bullshit like this, huh?
Mm.
Yeah.
You've not got much, you know?
No wife.
No kid.
No job.
You should keep lungs, yeah?
You hungry?
Hmm?
Let me see what I got for you.
What I got in here?
Ah, I got borscht.
Very good.
Not too thick
like bullshit passing
for borscht in America.
I do egg salad.
I eat at least
one egg every day.
Hey! No!
Egg salad?
Yes or no, huh?
No, thank you.
Okay!
Okay,
then what do we do
for you, huh?
You know where I can
find a piano?
Yeah.
That... that is Yamaha.
Responsive keys, yeah.
Oh.
And Baldwin... nice tone,
but costs big dinero.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Are they always white like that?
No.
Okay.
Olga.
Vlad!
Hey.
We both grew up near Gdansk,
but we met at a wedding in Queens.
Oh.
Nice to meet you.
Um, sorry, what...
what's the cheapest one
that you got?
We have uprights in the back.
Oh. Can I see them?
Of course.
I think I stay here
for a little bit.
She hates diamonds.
What?
Therese... she doesn't
like diamonds.
She says you're
a lousy listener.
She hates diamonds?
She likes rubies.
Where did you get that shirt?
Broadway Shirts.
Rise and shine, cocksucker.
I do well!
Here we go. Okay.
Anything you like,
you see, this is...
oh, I got tree... I got tree
for you... this one right here.
This is a strong,
is a masculine...
this is man tree.
The trees, you know...
they have a gender.
They have man tree,
woman tree. You can tell.
Same with the... the snow bank.
There you go.
You have a wonderful,
wonderful Christmas, eh?
Okay, bye.
Hmm?
Oh. Hey.
Uh-huh.
It's tradition
on first day of winter
to raise toast...
three months of night.
Oh.
- Ah.
Yeah.
Mm!
Tomorrow?
The day after.
Mm.
For the FYI, I do not...
say good-bye.
I also do not say hello.
Thanks.
Sergei Gonchar.
Guy Lafleur.
Vladislav Tretiak.
Phil Esposito.
Vladislav Tretiak.
Bobby Hull.
Bernie Parent.
Vladislav...
Sidney Crosby.
Vladislav...
Gordie Howe.
Alexei Kovalev.
Mario Lemieux.
Igor Larionov.
Uh, Maxim...
Bobby Orr.
And in the sky
The larks,
still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard
amid the guns below.
We are the dead,
Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn
saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved...
- Tell... tell me his name again.
Rene.
And now we lie In Flanders Fields.
No, this... here.
Oh, yeah.
Nzomo.
- I use something like that...
Nzomo?
...for a comedic monologue...
Nzomo.
...for a class I'm taking...
Nzomo.
- I think.
...at the Queens Community College.
- Nzomo.
Yeah.
Salud, Nzomo!
...acting. Hey.
- Right on.
Hey, salud.
Maybe?
- Mmm.
Oh, man.
I'm going home.
I'm going to the subway.
You going?
I go.
You go?
Where you go?
To the train
to Jamaica, Queens.
I like it here.
Therese hates cities.
I was always trying to get her
to move to Montreal.
You can move there.
I'm on parole.
Oh, yeah.
How long does that last?
Years.
I think Marie hates me.
You hate that...
when people hate you?
Everyone hates it
when people hate them.
Never bothered me.
How are you gonna
stay dead in Massey?
I can't stay dead, Rene.
Yeah. It does seem hard.
I got a present
picked out for Michi.
Maybe you could, uh,
stay in Marie's basement,
you know,
till you find something
more permanent.
Okay.
$20,768.
That's a lot of up-and-up cash.
I told you it would be fine.
Yeah.
And it is.
It is fine.
Oh, this is gonna
change things.
Everything.
Mmm.
Maybe I'll take Res to Jamaica.
She's never seen the sea.
What are you gonna get?
Hello?
It's the blind man
who bought a tree from you.
Hey, man. Oh!
Oh, you're kidding.
Back away from the money.
I said back away from it!
Fuck you.
You don't want to do this.
- Go fuck yourself!
I will kill you!
Go fuck yourself!
If you want me to, I will!
Go ahead!
It's Christmas. Nobody shoots
anybody at Christmas.
Go fuck yourself!
Dennis, give him the box.
I'll blow your goddamn head off!
Go fuck yourself!
Denn...
Take it! Take it!
Just take it.
Just take it.
Now go fuck yourself.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Holy Chri...
Oh.
Are you okay?
Me? Yeah.
Oh, thank God.
Jesus Christ, what about you?
That guy wasn't blind.
No shit.
All right, all right, all right.
It was in the box.
Huh?
The ring.
Okay.
The ring was in the box.
All right.
It was in the box.
I know.
Dennis.
You're all right.
Dennis, the ring...
Rene, come on.
It was in the box.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
God damn! I can't!
Hey!
The trees are innocent, man.
I can't go home with nothing!
The trees are blameless, man.
God damn it.
I can't leave with nothing.
I was this close.
# Kiss me, baby,
like you love me... #
# Reach out
from the sky above me... #
# Hold me, baby, kiss me slow
# Kiss me, baby...
Hey.
# Like you need me...
- No.
You have to tell her. I can't.
I don't know what to say.
Since when?
I'm the one that cheers her up.
Right. Okay, then fuck it.
I'm gonna do that.
No, don't.
No, no, no.
No.
# Like you love me
# Reach out from the...
Hey. What are you...
how are you?
Rene, I'm so happy
to hear your voice.
Oh.
Uh, yeah, yours...
yours too.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Rene?
Yes. Yeah. Um...
Yeah, there's something
I have to tell you.
Uh...
we were robbed.
Christ, Rene.
Rene.
Just come home.
Just come home.
Hi.
What?
No.
It's the only way.
No.
Even if I thought okay,
no, they're back,
the dentists,
from Hole of Jackson.
I thought you said that they were
gone till after the holiday.
It is their house. If they want
to come back, they come back.
Okay, well, then we're just gonna
have to do it after they're asleep.
Believe me,
I hate these dentists.
Want to know Merry Christmas
I get from them?
"Oh, Olga, we're going
to fix your teeth
so they look like teeth of Vanna White from
'Fortune's Wheel.'"
Do they ever fix
Olga's teeth? No.
They ski slalom
in Hole of Jackson.
Believe me,
I hate these fucking dentists,
but, yeah...
You must have Russian blood.
Why?
You do what you must.
I'll leave back window open.
It is not on grid.
Just do everything I tell
you to do, like you used to.
Dennis, I swore to her.
I swo... I swore to...
you did too.
Yeah, that was before we got
robbed of every last dollar.
You really want
to go back with nothing?
No, no, no, no.
But I can't lie to her.
What the fuck are you doing?
I'm threatening to kill you
unless you help me.
And that way,
it'll all be on me.
My fault.
Man, that's...
Wow.
She regularly let you in here?
That's a testament, man.
This place is nice.
Maybe she liked you.
Shh, shh, shh.
No, no, no, no.
Don't touch that.
How do you expect me
to get in if I...?
We're not stealing that.
We're stealing this.
You brought me here
to steal a fucking piano?
Shh, shh, shh.
Yeah.
How much... how much
do you love jail?
No. Do you remember
that Sorel job?
It's gonna be easy.
Remember that?
We got the whole safe out.
You are a dumb, dumb fuckhead.
Find your own way home.
I promised her one.
Who?
Michi.
You talked to her?
In my head.
I promised Michi
a piano in my head.
Steady, steady, steady.
Got it?
Hold on. Hold on.
Fu...
Merry Christmas.
Come on.
I just think it's a really
personal decision, though,
if you go with an epidural or
you have a natural childbirth.
You know, as long as the baby
is born, I suppose.
I read this one thing...
is it Scientology?
Where they have
a baby in water.
And they don't scream.
So that the baby
isn't brought into the world
with any kind
of negative energy or ions.
Signs of forced entry.
Looks like there might be some
footprints in the courtyard.
We don't know yet.
The piano is obviously missing.
We've got furniture
in disarray.
And...
oh, oh, there's books
that are stacked in, like...
can I help you?
I work here.
We've got books
stacked in piles...
# When someone very dear
# Calls you with the words
"everything's all clear" #
# That's what you want to hear
# But you know it might be
different in the new year #
# That's why, that's why
# We hang the lights so high
# Joy
# Joy
# You loved it as a kid
# And now you need it more
than you ever did #
# It's because of the dark
# We see the beauty
in the spark #
# That's why, that's why
# The carols make you cry
# Joy
# Joy
# Joy
# Joy
# Tinsel on the tree
# Yes, I see
# The holly on the door
# Like before
# The candles in the gloom
# Light the room
# The Sally Army band
# Yes, I understand
# So light the winds of fire
# And watch as the flames
grow higher #
# We'll gather up our fears
# And face down
all the coming years #
# And all that they destroy
# And in their face
# We throw our joy
# Joy
# Joy
# It's why
# We hang the lights so high
# And gaze at the glow
# Of silver birches
in the snow #
# Because of the dark
# We see the beauty
in the spark #
# We must be all right
# If we could make up
# Christmas night.