|
All Things Valentine (2016)
1
Take my hand we're soaring high tonight chase the stars and touch the sky feel your heart beating next to mine paint the city with neon lights spread your wings and fly high above the lights find somewhere to hide a place we'll call paradise crash burn hopeless lovers getting lost in each other bae, you and I bae, you and I sparks fly hopeful dreamers finding our way together bae, you and I bae, you and I... ...bae, you and I Will you be my Valentine? Do you prefer flowers or candy? "Dear coach... "I've been dating a guy I really like, "but Valentine's day is just around the corner "and we haven't made any plans yet. "Every time I bring it up, he doesn't take the hint. "Valentine's day is really important to me, "but not to him. "I'm wondering "if this relationship is going anywhere. Signed... 'Should I move on?'" probably... Or she wouldn't have asked my advice. Dear "should I move on?"... "I'm not a big fan of Valentine's day, "but if you are, and that doesn't matter to him, "maybe you should move on. "His insensitivity suggests the kind of man he is... We need more powdered sugar. I got a response from "consult the coach." Who? The advice column. "...not someone "you should trust with your heart. "Don't waste time on Mr. wrong. Go find Mr. right." The coach thinks I should move on. Want my advice? Don't take your marching orders from some so-called "coach." That might have been overkill, but I'm probably saving her a lot of grief. I know how this turns out. Oh! I'm gonna be late. Sun shines golden in your eyes as you say something like "how time flies" and it won't take us very long to ride a bus back to the station and we're gone I'd like to make a reservation for four for 7:30. Oh! That's too bad. This is Lauren port from the banner. Ohh! You can? That's wonderful. Yes. 7:30. We'll see you then. Thank you. Well played. Listen, I want to give you a new assignment. Instead of dispensing advice, I want you to write some very special columns. Great! "All things Valentine." We are going to be doing a cross-media campaign, spanning all the banner outlets... Newspapers, websites. We are going to become the go-to spot for... All things Valentine. And I want a column on Valentine's every day between now and February 14th. You know, I think I'd be better off sticking to advice. Why? What's the problem? This is an opportunity. You're a good writer, you can do this. It's the subject matter that I have a problem with. What's the objection to Valentine's day? Well, typically, it's a disaster. How so? Oh. Okay. Well, um... There was the time that I spilled an entire bottle of cherry soda on my sixth-grade crush at the Valentine's day dance. And then, in college, my boyfriend regifted the iPod I gave him for Valentine's day to the homecoming queen. She eventually dumped him, but she kept that iPod. And yet you graduated summa cum... Magna cum laude, but... And then there's the kicker, the one that I really just can't get over. I was dating this guy and I was in love, or I thought I was, and I went over to his place on Valentine's day and... Yeah, you know the rest. It's that stunning moment that steals your faith in love. Wow. You do have a way with words. Yeah. Not so much with men. "Consult the coach" is anonymous. It wouldn't be you writing those columns, but someone who adores Valentine's day. An anonymous fraud. Avery... Your readership is down. This could give it a boost, and it may just revise your opinion of a pretty wonderful day of the year. Okay, have some more of that. This is yours, right? Just a little piece. Every single column, about something I would rather avoid. That's a lot of Valentine's day. How come they don't give you a byline? Oh, I don't want a byline. I like the anonymity. The "coach" isn't who I am, it's just something I write. What will you write about? Well, I've got my first column figured out... "Romantic restaurants." Ooh! After that, I'm gonna need your help. What kind of help? Well, you guys all love Valentine's day. You love the flowers and the cards... And the perfect "remind him why he fell in love with you" dress. I remember why I fell in love. Your braised chicken. I'm gonna need input from all you true believers. You gotta get over this aversion to Valentine's day. What's an "aversion"? Means she doesn't like it. How come? A boy I liked hurt my feelings. What a dummy! Yeah. Aunt Avery? I kinda like Valentine's day. Really? Tell me what you like about it. Mostly for the candy. And Josie ward, she's in my class. I made her a card and I hope she likes it. Well, if she doesn't, she's a dummy. No, she's okay. She's perfect. You know, if anybody could help me rethink Valentine's day, it'd be you. Thanks. Eat your broccoli. I'm gonna tell your mom. No. Hey, what's wrong? Uh... Valentine's day. What about it? Well, it's the... Most romantic day of the year and we don't have any plans yet. I have to work that night. I'm sorry, McKenna. I don't think that we're on the same page. What page is that? The page where we have a date on Valentine's day. Like the one we're having right now? The one you're not enjoying because it's on the wrong day? There are stages in relationships, and we're just... We're not going anywhere. Can't we just enjoy each other's company, see where it leads? I can't do this. Um... What do you mean? I can't put it as well as this. What is this? - "The coach." - Who? Read it. Read it. "His insensitivity suggests the kind of man he is." Is this about me? Yes. "Not someone you should trust with your heart." This "coach" person should not be trusted with a computer. "Don't waste time on Mr. wrong." "Wrong" because of Valentine's day? "Wrong" because you don't even understand what's wrong. I like you a lot, Brendan. I like you, too. Apparently not enough. I-I don't know what you want me to say here. Then I'll just say it. It's over. - Oh, I want one of these. - See you Friday. Just have to find you the right guy first. Hey, Hannah, we can watch Jeremy on Valentine's day so you two can go out. Oh, can I get in on that? No date on the horizon? I can be your date. Now, who can top that? - Goodnight. - Goodnight. Goodnight. - Thanks. - Bye. - I love you. - I love you. - 'Night, daddy. - Bye. Okay, next Thursday. I'll give you a call. All right, I should go, too. Where's busby? Hey, busby. Busby? Aw, sweetie. This isn't like you. Come on, let's get you home. Come here. Oh, I know. I know. Is he okay? I've got you. I don't know. It's really weird. He's never like this. So McKenna just walked out? Yeah, they hadn't even served the entrees yet. Huh. My dates usually eat before they run. What upsets me is the "coach." I read her online bio. She doesn't even reveal her identity, and she's not even a professional! She should not be giving advice. Well, "dear Abby" wasn't a professional, she gave advice for years. But this woman's giving bad advice. How do you condemn a man you've never even met? Yeah, but... But what? Well, why... Why didn't you want to make plans for Valentine's day? Besides the fact that I'm working that night? Come on! You're on-call in case of emergency. Hardly qualifies as holding down the fort. I know. I was just trying to be a good guy and not lead her on if I'm not sure how I feel about her. You're way too cautious. I'm careful. I know how wrong it can go. Yeah, well, there are no guarantees with love. Wait a minute. Who am I to give advice? I can't even remember my last romance. Actually, wait, no, that's wrong, I do remember. How do you reject a guy for inferior bowling? I'm gonna miss going to the bakery, but, you know, it's just gonna be too awkward. Sorry, buddy, I gotta go, I'm hooked on pru's scones. You know who's gonna be sorry? The coach. What do you mean? She's committed a foul and I'm throwing the flag. Just let it go! Uh-uh. Somebody's got to call her out. Let's go! "There are lots of things "to do on Valentine's day, "but a candlelit dinner is a must. "So here you go... The 10 most romantic places for Valentine's day dinner." Busby? Are you okay? I think kit is making his way over here. Not much of a newsflash. He works across the street. Yeah, but he's Brendan's best friend. What do I say? "Good morning." Good morning. How you doing, McKenna? I'm fine. I'm absolu... I'm fine. Thank you. That's... that's good. Morning, kit. Morning, pru. What can I get you? A raspberry scone. How many today? Uh, just one, I'm kind of on a health kick, and I can't go cold Turkey, so. For here or to go? I have a few minutes before I got to go back to work. For here. 'Kay. Ahh. So... I guess you heard about Brendan and I? Yeah. Yeah. I, uh... Brendan's a good guy, and you couldn't be nicer. Sometimes, these things just... Don't work out. Hmm. Ahh. Duty calls. An Alaskan husky, not the type of patient you wanna keep waiting. Uh, thank you, pru. See you. See ya, kit. You okay? I've been better. Maybe you were rushing things with Brendan. I have a plan. If you wanna have it all, you've got to have one. Married by 30, 3 kids, and a career. Well, you can't just corral someone into your picket- fence fantasy. Are you saying this was my fault? I'm saying get to know the guy before you make him the guy. Hmm? Mm. How about you? Oh. I'm trying "no guys," better than the "gone guys" I usually pick. Gone guys. Dear coach! Thanks a lot. Your restaurant suggestions are on par with your advice about relationships. Your next patient is here. Great, thanks. Thanks. Hi. I'm Dr. bains. Hi. Well, thanks for fitting us in. What seems to be the problem with busby today? Well, um, he's just not his usual chipper self. Let's take a look. What's going on, buddy? You could just tell me and make my job a lot easier. Well... Telltale warm nose. Our friend, busby, is running a fever. Aw, busby. 9 times out of 10, it's nothing. Well, what if he's in the 10%? Do you have some tests that you could run? We have plenty of tests. They are sophisticated and expensive, but I recommend this, and bring him back in a couple days, and we'll see how he's doing. You're really good with him. Don't tell any of my other patients, but busby here is my favorite breed. I had one just like him when I was growing up. She's the reason why I became a vet. Really? Mm. It's a pretty awesome story. Oh, well, I like an awesome story, especially when it involves a dog. Well, Max had a run-in with a porcupine, so I took her to the vet. I offered to pay him with my allowance, but he let me work off my debt. I was in his office every day after school... For four years. He, uh... Was like a father to me. I wanted to be just like him. Well, it sounds like busby's in really good hands. Thanks again. Okay, see you again soon. Office-to-door service? We're a concierge clinic now? She had her hands full. How do you explain that grin on your face? I like the dog! Uh-huh. I like your new vet. All right. Get cozy, buddy. "Your "10 most romantic places for Valentine's day dinner" "are already booked. "Coaches I know have usually done their homework... "Or is that your column "is just a poorly disguised product placement. Signed... 'Bench the coach'." What a creep. Hi! Hey. What's going on? I may have an idea for your Valentine's day column. Oh? Great. There's this cute little store, it's a confectionery, they're having an event. The flyer says, "make something sweet for your Valentine's day sweetheart." That sounds promising. Yeah. I was gonna go with Reed, but Jeremy has soccer practice. Aw. Okay, well, thanks for the tip. Let me know what I missed. Bye. Come on, busby. We've got to get ready. Well, he's back to his normal self. He's chomping on the furniture, and kissing my face at 6:00 A.M. I know, I know. He's a pretty great dog. Aw. Thank you. You have my card. Call if anything changes, and one last thing... Why don't you and busby stand right over there, 'cause you are going on the "wall of fame." Okay, buddy. Okay, busby! Smile! One, two, three. That'll be a nice addition. Now, that's a lot of happy patients. I just love it when February rolls around. Romance is in the air. Oh! And we have to get more silk roses. Nothing says "Valentine's day" like flowers. Not a fan of Valentine's day, I see? No. Not really. Me neither. And I thought I was the only one. I do like the chocolates. But that's it. Well, I should go. Thank you. So I'm going to this thing tomorrow night, it's a... it's a class at a confectionery, they make chocolates. That sounds fun. Well, cool. I'll text you the address. Maybe I'll see you there. All right. Have a nice day. "Just the dog I like." Right. Okay, everyone, we're going to get started. Please find a station. I'm Lisa the confectioner, and I love Valentine's day. February 14th... Sorry I'm late. ...is all about letting people know how much you love them. And nothing says "love" like giving them the perfect sweet... The one that's perfect for them. My best friend likes her candy sour, so I make "tart hearts." But what if you don't know someone's favorite sweet? You can never, ever go wrong with chocolate. And no chocolate goes better with Valentine's day than chocolate fondue. It's so easy to make, and tonight, you're gonna learn how. I think you're gonna need this. Thank you. All right. Ready? One, two, three... Is it too hot? Yes? Yes? It's not too hot. It's delicious. Oh! Caramelized. It's nice, right? Okay, I did not know that that class was for couples. My sister got a flyer in the mail... I actually had a lot of fun. Oh, good. Good. So what's your grudge against Valentine's day? Let's just say some romantic missteps that occurred on that very loaded day of the year. Ahh. How about you? It's not exactly Valentine's day I object to. It's focusing on all the symbols of relationships, instead of the things that make them last, like a shared fondness for the Red Sox. Or... the Yankees. Now, given your history with the holiday, why did you want to take that class? It was research for my job. What line of work requires you to eat chocolate fondue, and where do I apply? I'm a writer and it is for a... Project that I'm working on. Well, maybe we could commiserate again sometime. Us anti-valentiners are a misunderstood lot. Okay. I could come by after work, check on busby, see how he's doing. A vet who makes house calls? I am very dedicated. Yes, you are. Mm-hmm. How's Wednesday night? Wednesday could work. Valentine's day gifts can be a challenge. What if I give him something he doesn't like? Maybe we should find something we can do together. A cooking lesson? A lingering kiss on a moonlit beach? Yeah, I went there, but wouldn't it be wonderful? Are you writing a column or a romance novel? There are no beaches around here. As to the gift issue... Someone should give you an atlas for Valentine's day. Is there a special someone? Do you speak from experience, or is it wishful thinking? "Send." Why not just let it go? I don't know. She... Irritates me, she intrigues me, whatever it is, it's hard to resist. A moonlit country Lane, then! I was talking romance, not geography. And as to my personal status and a special someone... Hey! Hey, dad. What's up? Valentine's day research... My least favorite topic. Of course, I'm out of ideas, so Hannah says I should do a column on cards. When did you start saving these? Early on. Remember, I'm a hopeless romantic. Oh, so your macho auto-parts gig is just a cover? Real men don't save valentines. Your mom gave me this when we were dating in college. Our first Valentine's day after we got married, I gave her the exact same card. You still remember that? Like it was yesterday. And these... Are from you and your sister. Oh, my gosh... I remember these! Oh! I must have cut out a dozen paper hearts before I got this right. It was sad when you guys stopped giving them to me. Oh... I guess we just grew out of it. One of those turning points for a dad, when other guys start claiming his daughter's heart. Hannah's heart is claimed, mine is still up for grabs. Maybe it's time to give love another chance. Fall down 10 times, get up 11. Yeah, I wish it were that simple. Some of us guys are okay. Yeah, and some of you are not, and I seem to attract the latter. This really rude guy keeps commenting on my column. I wish he would just go away. Honey. You can't write off a whole gender. Well, actually, I did meet someone... Busby's new vet. He's just a friend, but... That smile bodes well. As a matter of fact, there may be someone. He's a friend, but it has potential. And since you are so cynical, I will assume you are not involved, and if you are, she is in for a rude awakening. Kit, listen to this. I already saw it. If this is a war of words, the coach may be winning. The battle has just begun. Your numbers are improving every day. People are loving the column. Although... "Best Valentine's day movies"... Love actually is a Christmas movie. Actually. You've got real momentum. I want to keep that going. It's just me giving advice about Valentine's day seems like such a stretch. Oh, well, I'll tell you why it's working... You're making it more personal. Your readers can identify. Not everyone's a fan. Oh, you mean "bench the coach"? Yeah, is there any way that we could block him? Why would we? Every time he posts a comment, the hits go way up. People want to see what he's gonna post next. Great. I want you to try to engage him, turn up the heat. I don't want to do that. Your fun little face-off is part of the whole Valentine's day conversation. It's not exactly pulitzer material. But a happy employer will have to suffice. Your best Valentine's day movies are a bit predictable. Put away your hanky and rethink the genre. Here's my list. I like my love stories to have a dose of reality. Let's open it up to your readers. Who has the better list? It's a column, not a contest. Hi. Hi. Come on in. Are you okay? Oh, it's just a work thing. This really opinionated guy I can't seem to shake. Sounds like a drag. Oh, you have no idea. Anyway... Hi! Hey. You're not much of a watchdog, are you? Hmm? I could've grabbed her purse and been halfway down the block by now. Well, he's a lover, not a fighter. Well, in my professional opinion, you have a very happy dog. You? 'Fraid so. That's just a piece that I'm trying to finish. Oh, and the photos? Yes. Now, that is my first love. That, and traveling. Nice. Valentines? Have you had a change of heart? No! They're from my family. They're super into it. Well, does your family live nearby? Yeah, about 10 minutes away. What about yours? My mom lives in St. Louis, that's where I'm from. I have to get her something. I usually just get her a card, but I want to up my game this year. My brother just got married and moved away, so I think she's feeling a little lonely. Well, what's she like? She's a gardener, so flowers are... Redundant. Mm-hmm. I was thinking maybe a piece of jewelry. Something subtle, not too flashy. What about an antique locket? Maybe. You could put your picture on one side and your brother's on the other. My Uncle has owns antique store and he sells some vintage jewelry. Maybe we should check it out sometime. Well, I-I could meet you there tomorrow. I'd like that. Me too. Uh-oh! I think somebody's jealous. Yeah, well, it is his house call, after all. I could make a habit of this. The house calls, I mean. Right. Right! That one's really pretty. What do you think? It's very pretty. Try it on, see how it looks. Oh, Uncle Henry, it's not for me. Who's it for? It's for my mother. Oh! That's nice. Well, try it on anyway, so he can see what a good son he is. Yeah. Here. Let me. So this, I, uh... Should warn you, I could be back here for a while. Okay... There we go. Okay. It's perfect. It's perfect. I'll take it. I'll get you a box. Well, great, I'm glad this worked out. Yeah, my mom is gonna love it. There's just one problem. What? I will never be able to top this. So... so, your Uncle, he's... he's great. Yeah, he's really sweet. He's super-protective. When I was little, he got me a tricycle, and he would not let me ride it without a helmet on. Wait, actually, that might've been my dad. No, it was my unc... Anyway, doesn't matter. There I was, this little four-year-old biker girl, tearing around the neighborhood, in this bright pink... What? Am I insane right now? It's okay. Thank you. Even the box is an antique. Thanks. Okay. Enjoy the rest of your day. Yeah, you too. Uh, you know, I was thinking that maybe we could grab dinner sometime. Uh, the anti- Valentine's day club get together to air their grievances. Sure. You like Mexican food? I love Mexican. In fact, I know a great little place, that's super-casual. Great! The club needs a hangout. How's Friday? Friday's great. I'll, uh, I'll pick you up at 7:00. Okay. See you then. Okay. All right. Bye. So, what do you think? Ooh! I like that. That's nice. Yeah? Ah... I already have one like this at home. Do you really think Reed will object to this? Probably not, no. I don't know, I want this Valentine's date to be special. I want to wow him. The romance has fizzled since parenthood. Yeah, well, I hear that's pretty common. Yeah. We just need to reconnect as a couple. But why do you need a specific day to do that? Same reason you need birthdays, anniversaries, or any special day, really. I don't know. A new dress says... "I'm still in love with you, and I want to look special for you ." And don't tell me you've never felt that way before. I have, but we all know how that panned out. How're things going with the new vet? How do you know about him? Dad told mom, who then told me. No secret is safe in this family. It's going fine. I really like him. Enough to invest in a new Valentine's day dress? He's just a friend. "A friend with potential." I read your column. Maybe it doesn't hurt to look. Oh... Oh, this is gorgeous. I love the color. It's very Valentine's day. What if he doesn't ask me? Worst case, you end up with a gorgeous new dress. One that I can't afford. I don't think the price is the problem. You want another scone? Uh, yeah. Actually, no. Well, maybe. Not a trick question. Uh, you know what? I better not. I better check on the muffins. Okay. So. How's Brendan? He's okay. He's, uh... I don't mean to put you on the spot. Was the whole, you know, Valentine's day thing just a little, like, overboard? You should... You should talk to him. You think? Yeah. Yeah, no. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely... Stop talking about the scones. Tell her how you feel. It's that obvious? Yeah, it is to me, maybe not pru. Want another scone? I don't want to talk about scones. I thought you liked them? I do, I just don't want - ...to discuss it. - Okay. You have some flour on your... on your cheek. No. The other one. Oh. Professional hazard. Your hair looks really good that way. It looks the way it always does. You look great in that color. Great! Uh, it's the uniform. It's not exactly my best look. I better get to work. Have a nice day. Ugh. I think he likes you. I don't know what his story is. Yes, you do! I have a policy... I don't date customers. Since when? Since the last time I dated a customer. Okay, but kit's different. He doesn't have tattoos. You wanna know my "life plan"? Pay the mortgage off my house, keep this place afloat. I don't have time for a broken heart. Oh, who says he's gonna break your heart? Says the girl who's still pining over kit's best friend. I'm not "pining," okay? I am confused. Yeah, well, I don't have time for that kind of confusion. Why don't you come over for dinner tonight? Oh, I can't. I'm having dinner with the vet. Brendan. I think it's time you knew his name. I already like this guy. But I can come over later this week. Maybe bring you some food, give you a break from cooking. Only if you bring Brendan. I want to meet him! I think it's a little soon for that. Is that wisdom, or fear talking? Both! Oh, that's cute! Oh! When it comes to fashion, I've learned that second-guessing what might interest someone else is foolish. Sure, sometimes, it's fun to experiment, but, in the end, I just try to be true to myself. Why do women go to so much trouble? It's a date, not an audition. Be who you are, not who you imagine he wants you to be. If you want your "friend" to turn into more, focus on the conversation, not on the outfit. Goodnight. We know he's attracted to you, or you wouldn't have a date. This is unbelievable. Yep. Thought you might like it. How do I not know about this place? Because Roy doesn't want you to know. Why? Because more people means more work for him. He's gonna have to expand. Avery! Hey, Roy. I want you to meet my friend, Brendan. - Brendan! - Roy. So how're you doing? Oh, my feet are swollen, my back hurts, and, uh, I'm making a whole lot of money. So, to celebrate my misfortune, I'm throwing a party on Valentine's day. 8:00 to 12:00, dinner and dancing. You're invited... Of course, with a friend. Roy, you do not seem like the type of guy who'd be into Valentine's day. Oh, I proposed to my Angela on Valentine's day and I married her exactly one year later. It's been almost 30 years. Valentine's day is my anniversary. And there she is. Have a wonderful evening. I grew up on Mexican food. Well... frozen burritos. Why frozen? My mom worked long hours. My parents got married way too fast. A couple strangers have a couple kids... Divorce is inevitable. I'm sorry. Mm. I'm not jaded by nature, it's just that Valentine's day always seems to remind me of all the things that can go wrong. I'm doing all the talking here. Now, what is the story... The real story... With you and the dreaded holiday? Real story? Mm-hmm. A really, really, really bad break-up. And I got him a watch, which I promptly gave to goodwill, so there's some guy out there walking around with a watch that says "happy Valentine's day. Love Avery." That's what my watch says. Crazy! Well, the food's pretty good, and so is the company. I don't want to get kicked out of the club, but how would you feel about coming back here on Valentine's day? I think that I could probably handle it. Yeah? Mm-hmm. Mm. So it's a... non-date? Right. All right. Listen, Avery, there's... there's something I should tell you. What? And it's best that I just tell you now, get it out of the way. I-I don't want it to come between us. Okay. I am a horrible dancer. No rhythm. No coordination. I have stepped on many a toe. It's okay, I am not much of a dancer myself. Then we'll just sit on the sideline? Yes. Absolutely. - Of course. - Thank you. Although, you know, I did see something online... "Learn to dance by Valentine's day." It's at one of the dance studios downtown. Could be fun? I'm game, if you are. Yeah. All right. Happy comes at a price. If he can make me feel this good... He can make me feel just as bad. I have a date for Valentine's day. But what if he hadn't asked? I'd be miserable. Although I'd never admit it, not even to myself. You asked if I was involved. I met someone I really like, and she doesn't need any Valentine's day validation to feel worthwhile. You could learn a lot from her. Leave it to you to ruin a perfectly good night. What is? Bench's responses to the column. There's hundreds of comments here. Really? Yeah. They're not all fans. Some of them agree with bench. You can't be serious. He's bringing in a male readership. There's a real "he said/she said" thing going on. Great reading. Great. So I suppose you want me to push back, keep boosting the numbers. Oh, we're gonna do much more than that. We are? Yeah, you drop by my office. I'll tell you my idea. How do I get rid of this guy? You have company. Good morning. Hi, pru. Hello. Hey. You got a minute? I was hoping that we could bury the hatchet. Okay. Um... So, how are you doing? I'm okay. Listen. I've been thinking about us. Maybe it was a mistake, writing to "consult the coach." "The coach" is not really qualified to give advice. You've been reading her column? As a matter of fact, I have. Someone's been giving her a lot of grief, and it's given me second thoughts. "Bench the coach" is me. What? Maybe I overreacted, but what she said, she's never even met me. Do you want coffee or something? I-I should get going. I'm glad you stopped by. Brendan? I'm... Sorry if I went overboard, with Valentine's... It's just... I love romance and Valentine's day is really important to me. I understand. Maybe we could do something... You know, low-key? Dinner and a movie, no big deal. Oh, McKenna, I am sorry, I can't. Oh. Can I ask why? I'm going to a party. You have a date for Valentine's day? It just kind of happened. I met Avery after you... I hope you two have a lovely night. McKenna. You want me to what? Pull back the curtains. Let people know who the coach really is. What would be the point? Force "bench" to reveal who he is. I couldn't care less who he is. Here's what I'm thinking... An event to generate buzz. "The gloves are off and now the masks." My mask is staying right where it is. Stop raining on your own parade and hear me out. We build it up, and then the day before Valentine's day, we reveal the identity of the coach, and then we challenge bench to do the same. And then you want us to, what, box? Wrestle? Cage-fight? Debate. I want you to debate your brains out. Think of the publicity! You'll do interviews. Your phone will be ringing off the hook. I don't have a phone with a hook. And bench might not even show, which would mean you would win by default. Look, the problem is, I like the fact that the coach is anonymous. Do you know why your column is so popular? It's because you write about your feelings. It's time for you to stop hiding. There's no such thing as "I can't dance." It just takes practice. Okay. Oh! Sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No, my fault. It's okay. Ow... I am a disaster. I... are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. You just might have to carry me home. Okay. You mustn't give up. Let's try something a little slower. Give your feet time to catch up with your heart. All right. Now hold your partner close. Ahh... Closer... Now look into her eyes. Surrender to the moment and the music. There's never been anybody I couldn't teach! Look at them. They've been together so long, and they're still holding hands. Oh, yeah. All those years of loving each other, and the fighting and making up. Hanging in when the going gets tough. The past doesn't have to define the future. I wrote that once. Not sure that I believed it then. You believe it now? I want to. I mean, that's what everybody dreams of when they're younger, right? A love that stands the test of time. Valentine's day came early this year. I think I have a boyfriend. Look at you, getting all serious and fit. I've already lost five pounds. You're not gonna be the only veterinary stud in the neighborhood. How often are you running? Every day. Nice. What inspired this transformation? Oh, I just want to get in shape. You know, lose the love handles, work the cardio, live a little longer. Who is she? It's pru. Why haven't you asked her out yet? I'm just waiting for the right moment. You have literally had hundreds of moments. You're in there every day. All right, the right words then. The right wardrobe. It would help if I was taller. You just gotta get out of your comfort zone. I stepped out of mine with Avery, and I couldn't be happier. I don't have a comfort zone. I have varying degrees of anxiety. Avery and I made a date for Valentine's day. Huh! You're really taking the plunge. I like her a lot. I just can't help thinking what if it doesn't work out? What's the worst that could happen? I need you to do something. Hi, McKenna. How come you didn't tell me about Brendan? Tell you what about Brendan? That he was dating somebody new. Ava... Emory... Avery. Avery Parker? What's she like? I-I don't know her that well. She brought her dog in a couple times. Is it serious? - The dog is fine. - You know what I mean. You should talk to Brendan. You know what? I'm gonna go. If you wait too long you're gonna lose him. He makes me nervous. I hate that feeling. I think that means that you like him. No, it means we need to drop it. Okay, you made your point. Tell me this isn't an omen. The omen needs more cinnamon. I'll bake another batch. Thanks for bringing dinner. Of course! Anything to avoid writing. Why do you want to avoid writing? Because you're not considered a real writer if you don't. I'm a real writer. Oh, is that so? Wanna see what I wrote to Josie? I sure do. Wait till you see this. It is so sweet. Oh, and Reed said he's gonna be late, so we should start without him. Aunt Avery. Oh! That's so pretty. Thanks. Read it! Hey. Why don't you read it? It's always better in the author's own voice. "Dear Josie, "I am glad you are my friend. "I like how you laugh "and you are really good at math. You also have very pretty hair." She has very pretty red hair, like yours. Girls love it when you say stuff like that. "I hope you have a happy Valentine's day, and I hope you like this card as much as I like you." I think she's gonna love it. I wish I could be as honest in my writing. Thanks. All right. Go wash up for dinner. Okay. I think your writing is very honest, especially lately. You sound like my editor. Maybe it's Brendan. This new romance has given you more daring. Okay, I wouldn't call it a romance. Not yet. Why don't you invite him to mom's potluck? No! It is way too early for him to meet my family. Mention it as a casual, off-the-cuff thing, and then ask him how many kids he wants to have. Who are you talking about? Aunt Avery's new boyfriend. Enough. What'll I wear to the wedding? This place is a dog's paradise. This place is beautiful. We come here every weekend. It's a trek, but it's worth it. Do you notice who he's been spending a lot more time with? Seriously. Are you gonna go there? I'm just saying. Come on. No, no, we both know who has his heart. Well, I'm glad you're giving up on that easily. Oh, it's just as well. I don't want to confuse the little guy. Before he took off, my dad used to take me hiking at a place almost as beautiful as this. I can't imagine how rough that was. Do you wanna go to dinner tomorrow night? We could go back to El adobe. I would love to, but I've got a potluck at my mom's house. It's kind of a tradition. No problem. You want to come? You know what? It's okay. My family can be really overwhelming. It would be a lot of... What does one bring to a potluck? Well, "honorary Parkers" don't bring anything. That's... that's what my mom calls a guest. I'm okay with that handle, but I do want to bring something. Seriously? The anti-valentiners are challenged around every turn. Hearts are becoming unavoidable. I'm not as "anti" as I used to be. I'd hate to disband the club, but... Sometimes, you just got to go with the flow. What's the matter with you? "Bench the coach" wrote a comment. I think it's a little too harsh. I'm trying to unsend it. You do realize that you and bench are the same guy, right? We seem to be diverging. I'm not as critical. Not anymore. Why? What'd you write? A snarky one-liner about her corny taste in music. I think she'll survive. She's probably just some lonely soul with no one in her life. Except for bench. Maybe that's why she's responding. You wanna grab some lunch? Let's go to the deli. I have to get potato salad, a lot of it. Okay. How much do you want? Enough to feed six to eight people. You are hungry. It's not all for me. Avery invited me to dinner with her family. So you could barely handle Valentine's day, and now you're meeting the family? It's no big deal. I asked her to dinner, she was going to her mom's, and invited me along. Right. Right. Well, don't make yourself nuts. It's just a meal. With her family. When are you gonna ask pru out? Soon. Great! Someday. Good. You know. I don't know. She might turn me down. There's only one way to find out. Right. It's no secret to my readers that I wasn't a fan of Valentine's day. But once I started writing about it... My attitude changed. Valentine's day is a way to celebrate the relationships that give our lives meaning. Something "bench the coach" doesn't seem to understand. He's trying! So it's time to call him out. This Thursday at 3:00, I'll be at the Portland banner. Come meet the person you've been attacking. "Attacking" may be a bit strong, but consider me called out. All right, buddy! And my landlady pounds on my door. Her cat had swallowed an earring, so I retrieve the earring, save the cat. She was so grateful, she let me live there rent-free. I was able to pay off my student loans. That cat paid for my education. Maybe I'll be a vet when I grow up. Or a writer. Or a fireman. They say kids your age will live to be a hundred, so maybe you'll have time to be all three. Do you still live in that apartment? I finally got a house, and then I got a cat to remind me I'm home. Aw! How many kids do you wanna have? A dozen, at least. When are you guys getting married? Okay! Wow! Sweetie. Um... Brendan and I are just friends. But my mom needs to know what to wear to the wedding. Okay! I'm so glad you could meet my family. So am I. Dinner was great. Thank you. Wanna see grandma's new canary? I thought you would never ask! Well, we know he likes kids. He's wonderful, Avery. I agree. I'd like him better if he wasn't so good-looking. Yeah, well, nobody's perfect. Why don't you invite him to the face-off with bench? The canary is sleeping. I'll meet him next time. Who wants chocolate? Hmm? 'Tis the season. It certainly is. Brendan, how do you feel about basketball? Great! I got a big-screen TV and a comfortable couch. I like your friend, aunt Avery. So do I. Brendan? You okay? I'm going out for an hour or so. Okay. Where you going? There's this... Thing I have to go to. "Consult the coach" called me out. You're gonna go confront her? Brendan, don't do it. You don't understand. Look, whoever she is, she means well. I'm through fighting. She was right about McKenna and me. And she was right about Valentine's day. Huh. What brought about this change of heart? Avery. I had a really good time last night. It was a little weird when her nephew demanded to know what my intentions are, but I haven't laughed like that in a long time. See? You're in a good place right now. So why go to this showdown with the coach? I'm gonna apologize to her. Well, good for you. Good for you! Is this really necessary? We want the world's first glimpse of you to dazzle. Has there been any follow-up from "bench?" Nope. Good. Maybe he won't show. Well, he better. Showtime. Brendan? Hi. Hey! What are you doing here? Like we'd miss this. You're, uh, fans of the coach? Imagine that. There! Welcome to the Portland banner. I'm Lauren port, the executive editor. "Consult the coach" is one of our most popular columns and its author has always been anonymous, but today, all that changes. It's time to put a name and a face to the column. I would like to introduce you to the real "coach." Please, say hello to Avery Parker! Hi. Wow, um, thank you all for coming. Um... I have to admit, this was not my idea. There's a comfort in being anonymous, and this is a little bit scary for me, but... I'm proud of the column and I'm really honored that I get to write it. And I know that you're not all here just to see me. There's somebody else you would like to meet. So... Here I am, "bench." Time to show your face. But Brendan did! Wasn't that sweet? Brendan? Yeah, where'd he go? Wait. He was here? Didn't you see him? No. How would he even know about this? Maybe he heard us talking about it last night. Maybe. ...the real "coach." Please, say hello to Avery Parker! Hi. What are you watching? Uh, "consult the coach." They revealed her identity today. Oh, right. Was it even a woman? Yeah. Her name is Avery Parker. Why does that name sound familiar? Oh! Did she and "bench the coach" have their epic smackdown? He didn't show. What's the problem? Avery Parker is Brendan's new girlfriend. I don't get it. Neither do I. I am glad people know who you are now. Your columns have become very special. I think there's a reason for that. Besides my mentoring? No, in addition to your mentoring. Writing this column has actually been really good for me. I'm starting to believe in love again. And I met a guy. He's honest and he's kind, and charming, and I trust him. That's a huge step for me. First step to genuine happiness. I'm glad you found someone that you can count on. I mean, what are the chances? Well, what did you say to her? Nothing. I left. So, wait... She doesn't know? No, not yet. No, Brendan. Brendan. You have to tell her. And say what? This is a disaster. It's Avery. Talk to her. Avery. Hi. Mom and Hannah said you were here today, at the paper. I'm sorry I couldn't stay. We had an emergency. A, uh, German Shepherd with a fractured femur. Is everything okay? Sure. You sound funny. It was a tricky procedure. Well, I was thinking of going to El adobe to celebrate my big reveal, and I thought it would be nice if you could join me. That's a good idea. It'll give us a chance to talk. 7:30? See you then. Great. You have to tell her. I will. I just have to figure out how. Excuse me. Um... Are you Avery Parker? That's right. I tried to call, but I couldn't get through. I-I'm sorry. Do I know you? I read your column. And you do know me, I mean, sort of. I wrote to you a while ago. "Should I move on?" Oh, right! Yeah, I was writing to you about my boyfriend. His name is Brendan bains. You told me that I should move on and now he's your boyfriend. I-I don't know what to say right now. I'm sorry for just showing up like this. I'm just really confused. I thought you should know. What do you mean? Brendan is "bench the coach." Goodnight. Goodnight, Esther. Oh! Hi. I thought we were gonna meet at the restaurant. Is it true? Are you "bench the coach"? Avery... Just tell me. Yeah. I'm "bench the coach." I mean... I was. And I was gonna tell you... I have been wrong about men before, but I have never been this wrong. Avery, wait. All of those things that you said... What can I do? Forget we met. We like to give flowers on Valentine's day. Flowers are so beautiful and festive. They're the perfect metaphor for Valentine's day. However beautiful the day may be, it doesn't last. Sooner or later, that good feeling you had on February 14th withers and dies, just like the flowers. Happy Valentine's day. Yeah, you too. Happy Valentine's day. Pretty unhappy, if you ask me. How's Brendan? Not so good. He and Avery split up. Yeah, she's not doing so good either, judging by her column. Relationships are impossible. Why do we all keep trying? I went to see Avery. I told her that Brendan was "bench the coach." You did what? I thought that she should know. Maybe I made a mistake. I was just jealous. And he's not even the right one for me. How do you know when someone's the right one? They meet you halfway. Happy Valentine's day. Dad, what are you doing here? Well, I was in the neighborhood, about to get a cup of coffee, and then I remembered that you own a coffeemaker, so I thought I'd drop over and get a fresh-brewed cup. Any of that true? Your mom told me about you and Brendan. Do we have to talk about it? I only met him once, but I really liked him. Yeah, well, the man you met wasn't the real Brendan. And "bench the coach" is? The problem is, I have no idea who he is. Maybe you're just scared, and this is an excuse. All I know is, the guy I met couldn't take his eyes off you, laughed at all your jokes. That was a guy in love. Listen, nice try, dad, but... I don't think Valentine's day is ever gonna be my day. I'm sorry to hear that, but give the rest of us a break, 'cause today's column was a real downer. You read my column? I especially liked it lately. So sweet and so hopeful. It appealed to the romantic in me. That means a lot to me. Don't let go of the joy you found. I said my piece. I better get back to work. Thanks, daddy. Think about what I said. You know what, busby? It's time the "coach" started thinking about the team. Thank you. Hi. Thank you, uh, for meeting with me. Oh, of course, of course. I feel badly about what happened before. I should have never told you about Brendan. No, it's okay, I'm glad you did. No. It's not. He was gonna tell you himself. Honestly, who told me doesn't matter. He just didn't know how. He was afraid he was gonna lose you. Well... Relationships are complicated. I learned that from you, reading your column. They're not usually this complicated. In the last few weeks, you really opened up. You gave the rest of us hope. Oh, that's what makes this all so hard. The man I thought I was falling for is the same man who was calling me a fool. What's your heart telling you? I don't know. You care for each other. That hardly ever happens. No, that happens all the time. The problem is, it hardly ever lasts. I wish "bench" never existed. He just needs a better editor. You have to let her know how you feel. I called, e-mailed. No response. Yeah, I know the feeling. I don't know how to get through to pru. Did you ask her out? Uh, not in so many words. I could barely get past hello. I'd rather just hang onto the fantasy than risk rejection. You gotta get out of your own way. How do I do that? Just let her know she's worth the risk. My apologies for yesterday's column. I forget how much love I have in my life. My friends, my family, my dog, busby. These are my valentines, today and every day. If you have that kind of love... Celebrate it. Mom? This is so cool. Thanks, aunt Avery. Almond bars? I love these! And dad... This is for you. Add it to the collection. You say you're proud to be my daughter? Well, I couldn't be prouder of you. We'd better go, we have dinner reservations. Honey, you look... wow. Where are you guys going? He won't tell me. Somewhere fancy we can't afford. Bye. You look "wow" too. Wanna hear about my date with Josie? Yes, I do! I gave her the card, she gave me one, too. She gave one to all the kids in the class, but she drew a little heart in mine. Oh, wow. That's such a pretty heart. I think she likes you. Her mom took us out for ice cream. I had chocolate chip, she had strawberry. At the end of the date, she said "happy Valentine's day," and then she kissed me on the cheek. That sounds like a really great date. I hope that dress means you have a date? I wore this for me. Happy Valentine's day. Same to you. I have trouble expressing myself, or at least where you're concerned. I didn't want to give myself any outs, so I came with a lot of visuals that are pretty hard to mistake. I think I get the gist. So... no pressure, but I wonder if... You would like to go to dinner? Don't you dare break my heart. I would never do that. You say that now. I'll say it every single day, if you'll let me. I don't want to spook you. Was that... Was that too much? Maybe, for a first date. Okay. I can definitely tone it down. You might want to lose the bear. All in all, it's been a pretty good Valentine's day. The thing about love is... Dear miss Parker, I want to apologize for anything I ever did that might have hurt you. The truth is, I'm your biggest fan. You would make me the happiest man in the world if you would give me a second chance. Shh! Quiet, busby! Please tell busby I come in peace. You look beautiful. This is hard to do without using my thumbs... Well, I think you and I do better in person than we do in print. I've never cared for Valentine's day, but, somehow, it brought you and me together, and now it's my favorite day of the year. I said some things I regret, but what I regret most is what didn't say... That you... Are the most wonderful person I've ever met. You're doing really well. Go on. Avery Parker... Will you do me the honor of being my Valentine? Yes. Los dias me pasan como El viento LA gente me dice que ya es tiempo que encuentre mi media naranja pero solo encontre mi medio limon yo se que El esta en mi futuro... With a full and grateful heart, I wish each and every one of you a Valentine's day as magical as mine. ...seras tu, seras tu El hombre de mi vida yo lo creo yo lo siento... |
|