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Altar Egos (2017)
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Farid Morocco (soft instrumental music) - [John] This was Dad's church, a place where people knew love, a place to find peace, comfort, and forgiveness. God blessed this church. For 30 years, Dad led the people here. He touched the lives of all those around him, none more than me. I wanted to be that kind of man, and that kind of pastor. After Dad passed, his ministry became my ministry. His mission, my mission. But things have never been the same. (lively organ music) Onward Christian soldiers Marching as to war With the cross of Jesus Going on before Christ our royal master - Hi Mary! Leads against the foe Forward into battle See his banners go Onward Christian soldiers Marching as to war With the cross of Jesus Going on before (tapping) - Let us pray. (organ keys pounding) (playful string music) - Hi. - Deacon. - Not bad, Pastor, not bad. - Thank you. - Almost as good as your father. - Almost. - Pastor John! Pastor John, hey! Over here, hey, John! John, hey! Good day? - Great day, Pastor Pendergrass. - The Lord blessed us with 527. Five, two, seven! (laughing) Almost half a grand of blessing. I thought your yoke was supposed to be easy? (laughs) I'm kidding. 'Cause that's the Lord, that's the Lord, it's not Pastor Eye Candy, okay? (laughing) It's the Lord, it really is. What? (laughs) How about you? - Not quite that many. - How many? - You know, I'm not sure. - Sorry, I'm sorry, how many did you say? - Fi-fi, 50. About. - Well, could be better. You know, should be better. I just want you to know that if you need some help, I'm here, my doors are open. Has to be open when you have 527 comin' through, am I right? (laughing) I'm kidding though, I am here for you, okay? - What time's your meeting? - Five o'clock. - (laughing) Okay, you're gonna do great. Can we please go home now? - I thought you'd never ask. - What's wrong with white? Those walls have always been white. I've grown quite accustomed to seeing them white. - I like white. - There's nothing wrong with white. - White is clean, white is pure. - He washed our sins white. - White as snow, white as snow. - [All] Amen. - Yes amen, amen, but we're talking about a room dedicated to the children's ministry, I think-- - Well, not that many children attend here. - And that's all right, but that's my point. See, maybe if we did things a little differently-- - Ah, Pastor? What color would your father choose? - I don't know. - Well what color do you think? - Probably white. - All those in favor of the room remaining white. Opposed, by the same sign? Motion carries, white the walls shall remain. - It would make things a lot easier if you'd stop changing things. - I haven't changed anything. - And let's keep it that way, shall we? - No one questions your heart, John, it's just your methods no one likes. (gentle piano music) - [Jack] You know, you should really learn how to do this yourself. - Why? It feels kinda weird putting makeup on myself. - (laughs) Try putting it on your dad. - Daddy, when are you going to read to me? - Aw sweetheart, I'm sorry. I have to get to the hospital. A bunch of little kids are waiting for their favorite clown. - But it's Pie Piper. - Jack here can read it to you. - What? No, I have rehearsal tonight. - All right, tomorrow. You, me, Mommy, Jack, we'll read it together as as family. - What, seriously? - Yeah, seriously, family's more important, right? - I guess. - Are we done? - Mm-hmm. - Great. Now, where did I leave that nose? (laughs) Let me have it. Yeah, I'll put it on later. - Might wanna clean it. (playful instrumental music) - [Woman In Blue] Someone's comin' to see you. Told ya. - Let's see your muscles, err. - Err. - Errr. Good job. (elevator dinging) - Night has come. In the dusk they grope their way to find your ear. - But my words find no such impediment. - They find their way at once? Small wonder, that, for within my heart they find their home. How large my heart and how small your ear. My words must mount, and that takes time. - In truth, I seem to speak from distant heights. - True, far above, that such a height would mean death if a hard word from you fell on my heart. - Well, I will come down. - No. - Then climb. - No. - And how will you not? - To be half hidden, half revealed. Do you know what this means to me? (school bell ringing) - Jack, well done, and Holly, you too. Keep practicing at home, and we will see you opening night! - Did you drive? - No, I got a ride. - Still no license? - I got my permit. - Well that's not gonna get you places. My lady. - Gentlemen. You were terrific today, Jack. - Thanks, you too. - Thanks. - Boom! And the crowd goes wild! - Dirk, you stink. Stop. - You ready to go? - Ready. - Good. Woah, who is that? - Is that your dad? - (laughs) What kinda preacher is he, huh? Hey, maybe we could all go with you. How many can fit in a clown car anyway, huh? - Bye, Jack. - Hey kids. - See ya, Jack. - Well, that explains a lot. - Wow, is that Holly? - No, no Dad, just stop, okay? - Are you guys-- - No. - You know, kinda like-- - No. - [John] Sure you don't wanna ask her to dinner? Your Mom's cooking tonight. - [Jack] No Dad, she had a boyfriend, okay? - Use your blinker. - I know. (windshield wiper humming) - [John] Stop the windshield wipers. - Yes. - Please. - [Jack] Okay. - You're embarrassing me in front of the kids. Hey. - Hey. - Kids are sleeping. - Nice. - I have a new vision for the church. - Fantastic. - I'm talking territory expanding. - And how are we gonna do that? - By changing the Christmas pageant. - (laughing) Okay. - No, no, no, I'm serious. I mean, this year I really wanna show the community how much God loves them, but I wanna do it in like a huge, ginormous, mesmerizing spectacle. You know, big time! Babe, with your creative genius, and with my, with your creative genius, we could totally sell this. I mean, it's gonna be awesome. Think about it, just, envision it. Christmas Pageant. - Okay, okay wait, I have an idea (laughs) going beyond this. What if, we move? - Wait, what? - First Church is looking to hire a new pastor. - But, that's on the other side of town. - Yes, it is, and I got you an interview! - Wait, wait, okay, wha-what? - Surprise! - Surprise, weehee, wait wait. What do you mean, you did this? Why? - Because, honey, we're called here to serve and if the board won't let you do it here, then maybe God has somewhere else that you can go. - Sweetheart, I can't just leave the church. My calling is here. - Just, just go talk to them, okay? For me, your creative genius wife. - All right, I'll tell ya what, I'll do the interview, you do the pageant. - You'll do your best at the interview. - Of course. - Deal. - Nice. - All right, preacher man. (laughing) Hmm, what do you think? - It's nice, it's... What is it? Let every heart Prepare him room And heaven and heaven And nature sing (playful string music) - The angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them. But the angel said to them, do not be afraid. The angel of the Lord said to them, do not be afraid. - That's your cue. - Ooh. She had a little accident. (laughing) - Well, get a towel. Somebody get me another angel. - Hello! (John humming) - Well, Pastor, what brings you here? - These are the scripts to the new Christmas pageant. - I beg your pardon? - Mary, we have to go in a new direction. (organ bench creaking) - You have got to be joking. This is rubbish. - I disagree. I actually think it's quite good. - Well I'm not doing this. Neither is the choir. - Okay, look Mary-- - No, no, no, you look, Mister. You've gone too far this time. Your father would be so disappointed. It would break his heart if he could see what you're doing to his church. You want change? You want change? Oh, I'll bring you change, Mister. - Mary, please, let's just talk about this. Maybe later? (church bell ringing) (thunder booming) (playful string music) - Where's the choir? - Let's open up our hymnals to 723, Shall We Gather At The River, acapella. One voice, united. Thank you for coming today. - Yes, thank you so much. - Hi. - Good to see you. - Thank you for-- - Have a good one, thank you. - Thank you. Sorry about the choir. We'll get them back real soon. - When are they coming back? - I have no idea. - Hi there, thank you for coming. Bye bye, thank you. (laughs) - John. - Hey, Chuck. - We need to have a talk. - Listen Chuck, this whole mess with the choir, I promise I can clear this up. - Well you better do it quick. Mary has called for an emergency board meeting. She's moving to replace you as pastor. - What? - The board meets in two weeks. - Two weeks. - The church is rather fond of the choir, and so is the board. - I like the choir too, Chuck. - Good, you have two weeks to get the choir back. I wish you the best, but I'm late for the cafeteria. - Bless you, Chuck. (laughing) Cafeteria. I'm getting fired. - Deceit. Compromise. Prejudice. Cowardice, stupidity. (sword clanking) - Cyrano! - You have taken everything. But there is still one treasure I keep: my pride. (applause) (cheering) (soft instrumental music) - You have lost your mind. - I have to straighten this thing out. - She's not gonna talk to you. - I think you're wrong. (doorbell ringing) Mary. Mary, Mary Margaret. (knocking) I know it's late, but we have to talk. - You have really hit the bottom of the gutter. Dragging your family to my doorstep to beg for your job? - It's not like that. - Well I don't need you, John Bridges, and I don't need your family, either. - You don't mean that, Mary. - Go away. - Oh come on, Mary Margaret, please-- - [Mary] Go away! (light clicking) (soft instrumental music) (beat bopping) - Um, could you stop that? Kinda tryin' to think here. - Honey, just let Mary Margaret do the pageant her way. You don't have to use my ideas. - Well, it's not just about the pageant though, sweetheart. I mean, I really wanna take this church in a new direction. It's 35 miles an hour here. - Dad, come on, I've got this. - Well then, you know you're gonna have to convince her of that. - How? She's not talking to me. She's not even listening. - Why won't she listen? - Slow down. - Why won't she lis, slowing down. - Look, Mary Margaret doesn't talk to anyone that's outside of her generation. Maybe if I was like 80 years old, she would listen to me. (playful string music) - What? - I need you to make me look old. - You don't need my help for that. (laughs) - I need you to make me look really old, okay? Like way, way older. I'm gonna bring this choir back, like the Pie Piper, a really old Pie Piper. - Pie Piper! - Yeah, Pie Piper. (beat bopping) - You have lost your mind. You could never pull that off Never, never pull that off - Well, maybe not by myself. But you're gonna help me. (beat bopping) - Word! What about, like, George? Ah, too presidential. Wait, wait, I got it. Milo! Milo McGilicuddy. - (laughs) Fine, whatever, but, there's more to character acting than just masks and makeup. - [John] Well just tell me everything I need to know. - I can't teach you. - Then show me. Do you have a mask? - Yeah. - (laughs) Put it on. We're gonna have ourselves a dress rehearsal. - You're kidding, right? - Uh-uh. Let's be young again Let's go back to where the fun began Lazy days and crazy nights So much fun, it was out of sight Let's be young again And throw all caution to the wind Living life so carefree I've got you, you got me Let's be young again - [Photobooth Automated Voice] Please insert money. Please insert money, then begin. (camera clicking) - Transforming into your character is something that happens from the inside, all right, it has to happen from the inside. - What does that mean, I have to walk a certain way? - Well, not just that, you have to-- - [Dirk] It was a joke, Holly, come on. - I don't care, just stay away from me. - Hey. - Let go of me. Dirk, that was too far. - Hey, there's your girlfriend. - She's not my girlfriend! - Look at me, I'm Miss Perfect. Oh ho, too far? You know, you better watch your mouth, Holly. (gasping) Hey. - Let me go. - I think she's in trouble. - Stay out of this. - [Dirk] I'm so sorry. - [Holly] Dirk, you really are a piece of work. - Watch your mouth, Holly. - Watch my-- - Are you all right, young lady? - She's fine, Gandalf, mind your business. - I do believe she wishes you to go. - Well I do believe you're sticking your face where it doesn't belong. - Dirk, just leave. - Yeah Dirk, just leave. - Hey, you stay out of this, you gray-haired fart. - Gray hair. - Gray hair. - Gray hair. - Yes, gray hair. - Are you blind? - My hair is silver, pure silver. Hair like mine is both mantle and crown, a, a monument to my superiority. Silver hair is the banner of a great man, a generous heart, a towering spirit, an expansive soul such as I unmistakably am, and such as you dare not dream to be. With your head lacking in wisdom, lacking in sense, in wit, in cunning, in imagination, lacking in intellect, just like that other round mass at the opposite end of your crimson spine. (crowd gasping) - That's it! Oh! (grunting) (thudding) - Go home, lad, before you embarrass yourself. - Move it! (applause) - Are you okay? - I'm okay. You didn't have to do that. - Yes, I did. - Thank you. Are you okay? - Frank, Franky, you old goat, you. You know better than to mess around boys like that. (laughing) Isn't he something? - Amazing. Cyrano, right? - Yes. - We're doing Cyrano at school. I play Roxanne. - Holly! Holly, are you okay? Holly, did he hurt you? - I'm really fine. - I have never seen anything like that. You gave me goose pimples! (giggles) I'm Barbara Coolidge, like the president. You were incredible. - Oh, uh, thank you. I'm Frank Carmen, and this is Milo. - Nice to meet you, Pablo. - Milo. - Oh, whatever. You have to come to my Christmas party tomorrow! - Yeah-- - I'm having just a few friends over from church and my friend Mary Margaret's coming. You would like her, maybe. Can you come? - I'm sorry, I, I'm busy. - Ow. - We'd love to come! - Oh, good! Oh, are you gonna, do, are you gonna bring your wife? - No, I, I don't have a wife. - Oh, thank you Lord! - Come on, Mom, it's time to go. - Well, okay. 113 Sage Brush. I'll see ya tomorrow! - [Holly] Bye Mr. Frank, Milo. - I hope he likes cats! - Bingo! (laughing) We're in! - We? No, no, no, no, no, no, there is no we, I'm done. - Um, no, you're totally in because I can't do this without you. - I've created a monster. - Time to go home and shine those shoes, old man. We've got a party to go to. (laughing) (playful string music) - Hey. - Holly, hey. - You would not believe what happened to me at the mall. - You got your picture taken with Santa? - No, no. Some old guy went all Cyrano on Dirk, totally humiliated him in the middle of the foot court. - What? Some guy looked like Cyrano? - No, no, no, no, I mean, this guy was Cyrano. He's coming over for a Christmas party tonight. You should come. - You want me to come over? - Yeah, when he did Cyrano, I thought of you. - Holly, that'd be great but I, I got homework. - Oh, okay. - I mean, I totally have a micro geography paper assignment thingy I gotta do. - Sounds important. - Very. - Well, maybe next time. - Yeah, next time. (school bell ringing) - I gotta go. - Bye. See ya tonight. (playful string music) (doorbell ringing) This is insane. - Relax, it's a party. Try to enjoy yourself. - Oh! He's here, everybody, he's here! (giggling) Oh! (wreath jangling) Here he is everybody, the man I was telling you about. Say something clever, Frank. - Hi. - Isn't he wonderful? - Hello. - Oh, and this is his friend, Waldo. - Milo. - Whatever. Oh, come here. (playful string music) Here's the starters, Frank. I picked them out myself. Here's a plate. - Thank you, Ms. Coolidge. - Oh, call me Babs. (doorbell ringing) (clock chiming) - [Mary] Hello everyone, Merry Christmas. Hello, Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. - Hello Chuck, merry Christmas, good to see you. Good to see you. Oh, everything just... Do I know you? - I don't, (coughing) Milo McGilicuddy. Nice to meet ya. - It's just so unusual to see a new face at one of Barbara's parties. - Frank and I met Barbara back at the mall. (laughs) - Oh yes, she, she did tell me about her new friend. - Frank, Frank, come back! Oh! (thudding) (cat meowing) (Barbara shrieking) - Oh, what a mess. Oh, Barbara. - Oh no! - Sorry, sorry. I'll just... - Oh, look how strong you are. - It's my fault, sorry. - No, it's nobody's fault. (laughing) Oh, dinner's ready, it's time to eat. Holly, honey! Time to eat! - Wow, hi, merry Christmas. It's so good to see you guys. (whimsical instrumental music) Mr. Frank! You made it! - Great googly moogly. - (laughs) Are you sure you're okay? Oh, it's time to eat. - So, who's the lucky guy that gets to play Cyrano with you? - Jack Bridges plays Cyrano, he's really good. I would love for you to meet him. - Is he, is he a nice guy? - Yeah, he's sweet. - Oh. Sweet like a good friend, or sweet like maybe something more than a friend? - Leave my baby alone. So Frank, tell us about yourself. - Well, let's see, I'm a poet, a playwright, a scientist, a bit of a musician too. Oh, and a sword master. - Isn't that wonderful? - You really are Cyrano. (laughing) - Yeah, I have modeled my life after his. (laughing) - What about you, Mr. McGilicuddy? - Um, (laughs) - After serving in the Navy, Milo here moved to Japan. - Really? - And became a master Hibachi chef. - Wow. (laughing) - Really? - Why, he studied under Benny Ho for nearly 20 years. - Benny Ho? I saw Benny Ho on television. - I know. - (laughing) Okay, enough about me. Now, do you all go to church? - Yes, Grace United. - Well I hear you all have a great pastor. - (laughing) Oh, who told you that? - I can't remember. - Well, actually, we did have a fine pastor once. We served together for 30 years. He preached, and I led the music. - Pastor Bridges' wife, Ruth, passed in '98 from cancer, and then Mary Margaret and Pastor Johnathan married a year later. - Sounds scandalous. - Nothing could be further from the truth. - (laughs) Seems a little soon to marry a guy right after he just buried his wife, don't you think? - Well, his son thought so. - Chuck, tell us how you're doing. - My cataracts are acting up. - Aww, well, we walk by faith and not by sight. (giggles) Judith, pass Chuck the carrots. We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas And a happy new year Drive safe! Thank you for coming! (Barbara humming) - I can't believe we spent the entire night there, and you didn't say one thing about the choir. - Look, they're not gonna listen to us yet, okay? You know? We've gotta be closer to them. - (laughs) I can't grow closer to Barbara without a wedding license. - Shh! Relax, all right? I need more time, that's all. Trust me. - [Jack] Okay. (Instrumental rock version of "Jingle Bells") - And swim, and swim. There you go, everyone! I'm so proud of you. Keep moving, keep going, keep moving those arms. Faster. And swim, and swim. Spread out everyone, make sure you've got room. (laughing) (bell crashing) (John laughs) - Whoo! - [All] Out. In. Out. - I-17. (John blowing through lips) I-21. - Ooh! Bingo. - So it appears that all of Abraham's descendents aren't just the Jews, but actually those that will come to Christ. - Good point. Would you like to elaborate further on that? - No, you're teaching. I don't get it. She's being so pleasant right now. What sets her off? - My mother always said, hurt people hurt people. (soft instrumental music) - This isn't gonna be a typical interview. We move fast here at First Church. - Oh, (laughs) sounds good to me. - You're gonna love it here, Pastor. The staff, the people, the tools. We got HD projectors, HD cameras, state of the art audio system. You name it, we've got it, and you can have your own TV ministry up and running with the flip of a switch. - Well, actually I don't have a TV ministry. - Not yet, you don't, but you will here. We've got everything you need to reach our community and the whole world. - Well, that's impressive. (laughs) I bet you have live donkeys here too. - [Interviewer] Um, sorry? - The Christmas Pageant, I'm sure you have live animals. - Oh yeah, yeah, of course, donkeys, sheep, camel. One of our wise men actually rides in on an elephant. - Okay, you're joking, right? - Oh no, sir. I wouldn't joke with you about that. - I don't even know what to say. - Say yes to First Church. (moving instrumental music) (applause) John. John. John, you okay? (laughing) - Yeah, I'm fine, but, I'm leaving behind more than just a job. - You know, I completely understand. Your father was a great man, and a great pastor, and I see him in you, I really do. And so does the search committee. And John, that's why we want you here at First Church. The job is yours if you want it. - (laughing) You guys do move fast. - Don't let tradition hold you back. Come blaze a new trail with us here at First Church. - Well done, people, well done! Let's reset for next week. - So, Uncle Frank is coming over tonight. - Oh, the real Cyrano. - Yeah, yeah. The real Cyrano. And Mr. McGilicuddy. They are hitting the town with my mom and Mary Margaret. - Party. - Yeah, well my mom is real excited. - Oh boy. (both chuckling) - What are you doing tonight? - Me? I got homework. - Micro geography? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still got that big project, you know, yeah. What are you doing? - I don't know, I was thinking you could come meet Cyrano. Afterwards, you and I could do something together. - You thought that? - If you wanted to. - I do, but, but I can't. Next time, okay? - Promise? - I promise. - Okay. (lively country music) - Barbara, I feel like a fool. I'm going home. - Nonsense, it'll be wonderful. Let's go find a group. - You've got to be kidding. (dance announcer drowned out by music) (crowd cheering) (applause) - Frank, Frank! - Could I help you? - You can take five, cowboy. I got this next song. - Well, okay. - All right folks, Uncle Frank's gonna teach you a little somethin' new. ("Wobble" by Family Force 5) - No, I don't think so. Let me see you wobble Wobble I'm CEO, Steve Jobs at the wobs I'm hard at work making your thingamabob I invented something you ain't never seen before It's call the wobble, let me show you some more Clack your kneecaps, clack your kneecaps Clack 'em together Today's class is wobology and I'm your professor Pop quiz for the kids, can you do this Didn't think so, watch it in slow-mo Get get like jell-o jell-o Dip dip make it ghetto ghetto Work w-work w-work work it like a model Look at'cha now Let me see ya wobble Wobble your legs Wobble your head Throw your arms back and forth Like you're huggin' yourself Wobble, wobble, wa-wobble, wobble Wa-wobble, wobble, wobble, wobble, wobble Wobble your legs Wobble your head Throw your arms back and forth Like you're huggin' yourself Wobble, wobble, wobble, wobble Wobble, wobble, wobble Let me see you wobble W-O double B-L-E, that's right Can you wobble, can you wobble like me, okay W-O double B-L-E, yeah Can you wobble, can you wobble for me (applause) - Barbara and Frank are quite the dancers. - Well, you're not too shabby yourself. - Oh, please. I haven't danced in years. I didn't even want to come. - I'm glad you did. - Oh, Barbara's always dragging me to some such thing. (laughing) - So, tell me about this whole choir boycott thing. - Oh, you heard about that, did you? - I find it kinda odd that you'd quit the church when you've got a pageant right around the corner. - Oh, indeed. It is my most favorite church service of the year. But, the pastor wanted to do something different, so he's let his wife ruin things. I ran that pageant for 40 years, never heard one word of complaint, not one. - Imagine that. - Today's generation just isn't interested in the things of the past, our history, our heritage. - Well maybe you should pass the baton. - Oh, they are not ready for such responsibility. - Maybe we should get them ready. You know, guide them, direct them. It's not like we're gonna be around forever. Maybe we should have a new pageant. - Maybe we should have a new pastor. - Maybe. It's messed up, what he did to you. (sentimental instrumental music) But you shouldn't hate the church for it. - Hate the church? Mr. McGilicuddy, I had two husbands, both taken from me by death. I have no children. My siblings have all passed away. Oh I assure you, I don't hate the church. The church is, all I have. And I will fight with everything that I am to see that it carries on as God intended. - You're a strong woman. I can see why they all follow you. - You are too kind. - I know it's not my place, but, maybe you should call this whole boycott thing off. You know, let the choir do what they love to do. For the church's sake. I for one would rather see you using your talents and your influence in a more positive fashion. - You're right. It's not your place to say. I'll call off the boycott. The choir may return, if they wish. - That is the most selfless thing yet, Mary Margaret! - But I can't go back, not as long as that pastor is there. - He doesn't want the choir back without you. - How would you know what he wants? - It just seems like you two are closer than you may think. I mean, really, you both want the same thing, right? What's best for the church. Maybe you can work somethin' out, find some middle ground. - Oh, I'll deal with the pastor at the next board meeting. Until then, his wife can run the choir. (hair dryer humming) - Hey babe, have you heard from First Church yet? I was thinking about this summer and thinking that it might really be the perfect time to move the kids, out of school and everything. Have you thought of a name for your television show, babe? Do you think the kids would get a chance to be on the show? (gentle piano music) What an answer to prayer. I said, what an answer to prayer. - I heard you. - What's wrong? - Nothing. (laughing) - You turned down the job, didn't you? - What? How did you get that? From that? - John! - Yes. - And they're probably going to fire you. - No, no, I brought the choir back. - Well I thought we could just get away from all these problems. - Well, First Church has problems too, right? - It was just a big opportunity. - Well, maybe our opportunity is here. Seriously, like, you know, maybe things are gonna start to change. Maybe I'll figure out how to work something out with Mary Margaret. Maybe, your darling husband is gonna lead this church to be what it needs to be. - That's a lotta maybes. - Yeah, I know. - You know what? Okay. Lead the way. - Come here. (tense instrumental music) It's time for Frank and Milo to say goodbye. - Sit down, gentlemen. We have business to attend to. - This will only take a second. - We don't have a second. I believe I've just asked you to sit down. Yesterday, I received a call from an acquaintance of mine at First Church. Pastor Bridges has just been selected to be there new pastor. - What? - It's not what you think. - He's been interviewing with other churches? - Well, First Church hasn't voted on it yet, but that's just a formality. - (laughing) Maybe we don't have all the facts right. I mean, maybe he's turned them down. - He wouldn't interview if he didn't want to leave. - Maybe he's just stupid. - Maybe his wife put him up to it. - We need a true leader. - One that values our church history too. - It's time for us to act. Now I've done some research, and here is the man I think should be our next pastor. Pass these around. He's wonderful, his background impeccable, solid schooling, 30 plus years experience. His name is Norm Steedy. - He reminds me of Pastor Johnathan. - Yeah, doesn't he. - I don't see the resemblance. - He retired two years ago to care for his ailing wife who has since passed away, and now he wishes to return to the ministry. - Do we have the votes? - Oh, we have the votes. If anyone does not like our decision, well, they can just go form their own church. - Um, Mary Margaret? When do we get to meet the guy? - I'm going to set up a dinner meeting where we can all spend some time with Mr. Steedy to be certain that he is the man that we indeed want to take over for Pastor Bridges. - I need more time to fix this. - Forget it. I mean, after all we've worked for, you go and interview at First Church? (John mumbling) - I will then take our recommendation before the board. - If this Norm Steedy guy does what they want him to do, the church is gonna die. - Not my problem. - Oh, wake up and smell the heat bomb, son, of course it's your problem. - [Mary Margaret] Are there any other questions? - (throat clearing) How long has he been a widower? - Are there any other questions? - Is this a recent picture? - Good, then I will see you all Saturday night. (school bell ringing) - Guess what you're doing Saturday? - What am I doing Saturday? - You are coming to dinner with me. - I am. I am? - Mom and I have been invited to a dinner party and she said I could bring a friend. - I can't. - Really? More homework? - Well, kind of. - I don't get it. Is there someone else? - No. - If you don't wanna go out, just say so. - No, it's not that. - Then what is it, Jack? - I... - I'll see you later. (playful string music) - Holly, you mean this Saturday? - Yes, this Saturday. - Oh, I thought you meant next Saturday. Yeah, I'd love to go with you this Saturday. - So you can go? - I can go. - I can't wait. - Yeah, me too. - Well, I gotta go. - All right. - Bye. - Bye. Ow. - Did Holly Coolidge just ask you out? - Yeah. - Dude, awesome! - I can't go. - Can't go? Well, what are you gonna do, stand her up? This is Holly Coolidge. What's wrong with you, man? - It's complicated. - Then uncomplicate it. - Nick, I'm gonna need your help. (whimsical instrumental music) It's perfect, if I do say so myself. - Epic! Wow dude, I am old! I'm really old. I feel old too. Who am I, again? - (laughing) This is never gonna work! - What, you said you needed Frank, you got Frank. You're Frank, Frank Harmon. - [Nick] Okay, how do I play him? - Play him just like Cyrano. - Cyrano, Cyrano, got it. - And just follow Milo's lead, and it will work. Nick can do this. - I got this, Mr. B. It's gonna be awesome. For real! Cyrano, like, runs in my veins. - And remember, you're old. So if you don't know what to say, just pretend you can't hear or fall asleep or something. - Got it. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. (deep exhaling) (upbeat music) - Hi, Frank! - You're late. - Good evening, maidens. (laughs) Oh how I've looked forward to this night. I do not know which is more full, the moon, or my heart. - Ooh, isn't he sweet? (laughing) - I carry my adornments on my soul. I do not dress up as a puffin jay, but inwardly I keep my daintiness. I do not bear with me by any chance an insult not yet washed away, a conscience yellow with unpurged bile-- - Okay. (laughing) He's not himself today, so sorry. - Hey. - Hey. Holly, you look fantastic. - Thanks. This is Mr. McGilicuddy. - How do you do? - Had better days. - And this is the man I've been telling you so much about. - Ah, the infamous Uncle Frank. - Charmed, I'm sure. - What's he doing here? - Oh, I told Holly she could bring a friend. - Barbara, it's hardly appropriate for the pastor's son to be here, do you think? - Ohh. Oh, yeah. - Hostess, they'll need their own table. - Let me see what I can do. - Thanks. - You kids run along, take care of yourselves, and make good choices. - What's that Uncle Frank? - Oh, I'd be happy to show you to the restroom. - I don't need to use the restroom. - You need to use the restroom. I'll be right back, save me a seat, okay? - Hurry back. - Okay, what are you doing out there? - What, you told me to be Cyrano. - Yeah, but you're pouring it on a bit too thick, don't you think? - I am? - Here you are. - Thank you. - Well, hello there. - Excuse me. Do you have any more tables? - I'm sorry, this is all we have right now. - Great. - Okay, less is more, got it? Turn it down, all right? - Okay. Okay. - Having fun? - Oh yeah. - All right, good. Now get back out there and be old. - You got it. - Jack Bridges. You. - Dirk? (punching) (thudding) - Nighty night, old man. - Your table's ready. - Nick, are you all right? It's me, Jack, the situation's been compromised. We have to go. - Not now, he's here. - Good evening. - Welcome, Reverend. - Good evening. - I'm so thankful for this opportunity. - [Mary Margaret] And we are honored to have you join us. - Hubba hubba. He's so young! (giggles) - I did not know Johnathan Bridges personally, but I knew of his work. Oh, what a legacy, what a ministry. He had such an impact. It's a shame his son did not fair better. I know you had great expectations. - Huge expectations, impossible expectations. (laughing) At least, that's what I gathered. - Well, it won't be easy following in his footsteps. - Well, if you're not up to the challenge, I understand. - Mind your manners. You are out of place. - I didn't say it would be easy, but I still think I can do it. - Holly, we're soul mates. - I have no idea what you're talking about. - I want you. - Please stop. - I have to go. - See ya. - Frank. - Milo, didn't you say that you are a master Hibachi chef? - No, (laughing) I-- - Yes, he studied under Benny Ho. - Really? Well you must cook our dinner. - Yes! - It was along time ago, (laughs) I just, I couldn't. - Benny Ho? It would be a great honor. (cymbal chiming) - I cou-- - Milo, Milo, Milo, Milo! - [All] Milo, Milo, Milo, Milo, Milo, Milo, Milo, Milo, Milo. - Well, if you don't think you're up for the challenge, then I totally understand. (tense drumming) - Give me the knives. - Oh ho ho ho! Do you know how to do the fryer thing? - Oh, it's on. Give me the hat, too. - I asked you not to touch me, very nicely. - If you were a phaser, you'd be set on stunning. Okay, I need you. - Hey, I think you're in my seat. - I didn't see your name on it. - Sorry, Uncle Frank ran into some trouble. - Oh, what's wrong? Did Uncle Frank fall and hit his face? - What's wrong with Uncle Frank? - No, it's okay, he's fine. - Do you wanna go for a walk or something? - That sounds lovely. Doesn't that sound nice? We would love to go for a walk. - Hey, just get lost. - Make me. You don't have it in you, preacher boy. - I have a lot in me, Dirk. - Maybe I'll just have to beat it out of you then. - Get on with it, so Holly and I can finish our dinner together. - Dirk, don't you dare. (whacking) (cymbal chiming) - If you want fight at Big Panda Pagoda, you fight Big Panda. - Ow, ow, ow, ow! - He's Big Panda, in case you were wondering. (Dirk wincing) - Fight? - Ow! - You want fight? - We gotta go, we gotta go. - Oh, Big Panda show you the exit. - Thank you, Big Panda. - Thank you for tickets. - Yeah, Big Panda's a fan of theater, so, he's gonna be at our show next week. (laughing) (playful instrumental music) (tools clanking) (laughing) (whacking) (Barbara gasping) - Oh ho ho! (laughing) (applause) Do it again! (flame hissing) - So we finally get some time together. - Yeah. This first date has been crazy. I gotta be honest with ya, there's been some times when we were together and I was pretending to be somebody else. - You don't, you don't have to do that with me, Jack. You can be yourself. - No, I was actually trying to be somebody else. - What do you mean? - Honestly, I really... (shrieking) - You really, what? - [Barbara] Wow, wow! (applause) - Will you excuse me? - Jack. (blowing) (laughing) (applause) - [Barbara] Milo, Milo, Milo! (speaking in foreign language) (screaming) - How about this one? - Please, stop! Just, cook the food. - I, I, I'm so sorry. (cheering) (applause) - Excuse me. Where's Jack? - Holly, sit down, Milo's amazing. You've gotta see this. Sit down! (laughs) - Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the flaming meteor. Drum roll please. (energetic drumming) (applause) (flame whooshing) - That's too much fire. - Oh no, Milo! (all speaking simultaneously) - [Barbara] Does anybody have a fire extinguisher? Somebody call 911! (thudding) (screaming) (extinguisher hissing) Oh! (Barbara shrieking) - Jack? - Jack! - You were, you were dating my mom? - No, it's not like that, it was never like that. - How could you? - What do you mean, how could you? - Why am I not surprised? - Hey, listen, I was just going-- - Spying on your own church members, and with your son. Well now that you know what's going on, it doesn't really matter, does it? - Come on, Norm. - Could someone take me home? - I knew something like this was gonna happen. - It was your idea to make Milo into a Hibachi chef, remember? Hey, I did everything you told me to do, okay. I didn't act like Milo, I became Milo, I was Milo, I was transformed. - Was it my idea to disguise ourselves? Was it my idea to go hang out with people 50 years older than I am? Was it my idea to go chase off this other pastor? - Listen, I was protecting the church. - Protecting the church, or your reputation? - Maybe both. Listen, all I've ever wanted to do was to help this church change and grow. - Maybe it's not the church that needs to change. (John laughing) - Wow. - I'm sorry, I shouldn't-- - No. (soft instrumental music) You're right. You're right. I'm sorry, Jack. - Let's just go home. I'm hungry. (sentimental string music) - My oldest memories of faith and family are anchored in this church. As a boy, I used to sit in that spot right there, every Sunday morning next to my mom. And you know, from that pew, I saw God do some amazing things in this church. I wanted to keep that tradition alive. I wanted to honor our rich heritage. But something went wrong. It was pride, and self-centeredness. God tells us to love him, and then to love each other. I failed to do that. Mary Margaret, you made Dad so happy at a time when that was very difficult to do. He loved you with all his heart, and I'm truly sorry. As your pastor, as your stepson, I should have been more loving and understanding. No, please, forgive me. (door banging) Thank you for letting me be your pastor all these years. God's will be done. (doorbell ringing) (knocking) Mary Margaret? I know you're in there. Please, Mary? (knocking) Please let us in. Oh, Abby needs to pee. - Down the hall and to your left. (footsteps padding) Your father was everything to me. - Mary Margaret, you are loved. And, you're family. - There's a card on top. Dad told us to make it on the way over. - Abby. - Well he did. (sentimental instrumental music) Dad said we should call you Grammy. (Mary Margaret crying) - There's that great picture of you and Dad in it. - It's perfect. Thank you. - Thank you, for letting us in. (doorbell ringing) - Jack. What are you doing here? - Sorry, but I haven't seen you in a while and we need to talk. - I've been busy. - Micro geography? - Yeah, micro geography. - Listen, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt anybody, especially not you. - How do I know it's the real you? - It's me, look. - Okay, I get it. (laughs) - So, how's your mom? If she ever wants to play bingo or go dancing, I can hook her up. - I don't think that will be necessary. Actually, I think she's already moved on, so. - I hope you haven't. Merry Christmas. Come on, just take it. (soft instrumental music) - You are insane. (laughing) - It comes with free Hibachi lessons from Dad. - I'll bring my fire extinguisher. (laughs) Thanks. - Do you think we can try this again? No masks this time? 'Cause if not, I can take the panda back, it's no big deal. - (laughing) No, I think I'll keep it. (gentle instrumental music) - [Mary Margaret] I was wrong, John Bridges. I do need you and your family, and so does this church. This study Bible belonged to your father. I want you to have it. Lead us well. All my love, Mary. - [John] Love is patient, love is kind. It is not proud, nor does it dishonor others. It doesn't keep record of wrongs. Love protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres, and it never, ever fails. If we loved more, what would happen inside the church? What would happen outside the church? (soft piano music) - She wrapped him with swaddling clothes and placed him in the manger. That night, the shepherds worked in the fields nearby and the angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terribly frightened. But the angel said unto them. - Do not be afraid, I bring you good news. - Today, in the city of David, a Savior has been born to you. He is the Messiah, the Lord. - That's a cute baby! Have you seen the baby? So cute! (piano version of "Silent Night") - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, Jack. Farid Morocco (upbeat music) |
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