1
(DRAMATIC DRUM MUSIC)
(STATIC BUZZING)
(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(CHILD LAUGHING)
(THUNDER BOOMING)
(GAVEL BANGING)
MAN: And get your rights
back?
Or are we just supposed to slink
off into
some dustbin of world history?
(CROWD CHEERING LOUDLY)
(STATIC BUZZING)
(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)
(TECHNO MUSIC)
(KEYBOARDS CLACKING)
STUART: All right, remote
utility clients engaged.
Yeah, laptops and cameras
enslaved.
Remote access tools have gotta
be the most awesome invention
since blackmail itself.
(WOMAN MOANING)
That's right baby, twerk that
ass!
Yes!
Ooh!
Big tit MILF who knows how to
cook.
I might need to find out
where she lives and propose.
I bet she'll pay big bucks
to squash this video.
(JAMAL CHUCKLING)
Ooh, yes sir.
STUART: You think she'll be a
grand?
JAMAL: Two, at least.
- (STATIC BUZZING)
- Whoa.
Whoa, whoa.
(THUNDER BOOMING)
JAMAL: What's happening?
Something up with your feeds?
STUART: I don't know.
JAMAL: That's weird.
STUART: I'm getting a
lot of old-school static.
Oh.
Whoa, wait, something's comin'
through.
JAMAL: Can you get rid of it?
STUART: Yeah, just watch me.
(WOMAN MOANING)
JAMAL: It looks like
you got your creep back on.
STUART: Told you.
They don't know who they're
messing with.
Perverts.
(LAUGHING)
You fuckin' kidding me?
(MR. MALEVOLENT LAUGHING)
JAMAL: It feels like
he's laughing at you.
Hello, my dark princess.
Have you collected this year's
evidence
of man's sins and follies?
MYSTIC WOMAN: But of course.
I can't get rid of him.
(MYSTIC WOMAN LAUGHING)
JAMAL: Let me see.
STUART: I can't find
an IP address or anything.
(MYSTIC WOMAN CHANTING)
The guy's a ghost.
(EERIE WARBLING)
Weird.
Ah.
JAMAL: I can't believe you
got hacked.
STUART: I know, it's crazy.
Romance, and the search for
perfection,
can sometime be called
at odds with each other.
This story is called Mates.
(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(KEYBOARD CLACKING)
Every time I delete Reggie's
email,
he just starts up a new account,
and then,
the hate letters start
(PHONE RINGING)
all over again.
One day he says he still loves
me,
and the next day, he's
threatening to kill me.
You don't return my calls,
bitch.
Why the fuck you don't
return my calls, bitch?
Why the fuck...
I've tried to tell him
that we're not meant for each
other,
we're not supposed to be
together,
but he's not listening.
Well that's because psychos
don't listen to anybody.
I mean, you only dated him for
six months
before he started to hit you.
He done lost his damn mind.
(SMOOTH R AND B MUSIC)
You should write an article
about what an asshole he is.
I just want to find a good
man.
How hard is that?
I mean, why does it have
to be so freakin' hard?
Aww, honey.
It's the law of supply and
demand.
The supply is low and...
(KNOCKING)
They think we're too demanding.
Yeah, and it seems like
every freaking date I go on
is a disaster.
I would try going lesbian,
but I like dick too much.
(LUCY LAUGHING)
I have a certified delivery
for Miss Sha-nicka Williams?
It's Shanicka.
Thank you.
Here's to the dick.
- (GLASSES CLINKING)
- Here's to the dick.
And lots of it.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
What is this?
"Congratulations, you've
just been given a free trial
"for the most effective
dating service in the world."
"Find your perfect mate
at perfectmates.me.
(SIGHS)
"In your own words,
describe your perfect man."
(KEYBOARD CLACKING)
Oh yeah, he's got to have that
too.
(SULTRY ROCK MUSIC)
(SIGHS)
Shanicka?
Uh, yeah.
You must be Jaylon.
Yeah, that's right.
Mind if I sit?
Sure, of course.
(SOFT JAZZ MUSIC)
I...
(CHUCKLING)
Sorry.
You'll have to excuse me
if I seem a little nervous.
I didn't expect you to be this
beautiful.
(SHANICKA CHUCKLING)
Thank you.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
I wrote poetry in college,
but it's hard to get anybody to
read it.
Really?
- Yeah.
- I love poetry.
I do, yeah.
I love, uh, Giovanni, Angelou.
"The caged bird sings
with a frightful trill,
"of things unknown...
"But longed for still."
Mmm.
I love that.
I'd love to read your work
some time.
Of course.
So the Englishman, he's
laying down on the ground.
He looks up, he says,
"Well, I rang the doorbell,
didn't I?"
(SHANICKA LAUGHING LOUDLY)
What's your favorite wine?
French cabernet.
Mmm.
But I'll drink anything red.
Except California merlot, it's
too sweet.
I bet it's not as sweet as you
are.
(JAYLON CHUCKLING)
(UPBEAT SLOW MUSIC)
I just got some new coffee
from Jamaica.
Would you like to come back
to my place and try it?
Oh, I, uh, I wouldn't
want to be presumptuous.
That's good, 'cause I
like to take things slow.
(SHANICKA MOANING LOUDLY)
Oh, yes!
That's it!
Yeah!
Hit that shit, oh!
Oh yeah, right there!
Oh, oh, oh, oh God!
(SHANICKA SCREAMING LOUDLY)
(SIGHING SOFTLY)
JAYLON: Shanicka?
Yes?
I have to tell you something.
Let me guess, you have to
leave
because you have a meeting
early in the morning.
No.
No, wait, you...
You're married, right?
(CHUCKLING) No.
Okay, what?
You lost a job, what is it?
No.
I just wanted to tell you that
that was...
(SLOW R AND B MUSIC)
That was the best sex I've ever
had.
You're not married?
No.
Does this finger look like
it's been wearing a ring?
(SHANICKA CHUCKLING)
But I am still fired up.
If you, uh, wanna go again?
(BOTH MOANING)
Shanicka?
SHANICKA: Yes?
I think I'm...
You're what?
(ELECTRONIC WARBLING)
Jaylon?
Jaylon, what's wrong?
Jaylon, say something!
Jaylon?
WOMAN: Your free trial is
over.
Your free trial is over.
Your free trial is over.
Your free trial is over.
- What the fuck?
- Your free trial is over.
Your free trial is over.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Open the door.
- Reggie?
- Open the door.
Reggie?
What are you doing here?
Where's it at, you stupid ass
bitch?
What?
I saw your black, crusty
ass come back here with it.
With what?
The fucking robot, Shanicka!
What, you-you stupid now, huh?
(REGGIE STAMMERING)
Listen, who do you think sent
you the free gift certificates
to perfectmates.me?
Hmm?
Think about it.
Let it ponder, let it simmer
in your soul real quick.
It was me.
The fuck, it was me!
Why would you do something
like that?
I'm Reggie, baby.
Reggie, that's what Reggie do.
I do shit like that to
prove shit to your dumb ass
to teach you a lesson.
You know why?
Because you always
criticizin' people, baby.
You know what I'm sayin'?
You always tryin' to find
somebody
that fits everything on
your perfect man list.
"You not this.
"Oh, you don't have that."
Bitch, please.
Don't call me a bitch.
As a matter of fact, I want
you to leave now, Reggie.
Bi-tch.
I'm tryin' to make a point to
you
that there's no such
thing as a perfect man.
Take your weave off, it's too
tight, huh?
And if you can't find
your own perfect man,
you gotta rent a goddamn robot.
That's as perfect as it's gonna
get.
So you, knowin' you, you
could program him up,
and do whatever you want.
That's you, that's what the fuck
I did.
Oh, you got jokes now, huh?
(SHUSHING)
Hold on now, hold on.
Wait a second.
- For what?
- Come here.
- No.
- Shh, come here.
No.
- Bring your ass here.
- Get your hands off of me.
Stop!
Get off of me!
(SNIFFING)
You gotta be fucking kidding
me, right?
Are you serious right now?
Did you actually really screw
that thing?
Bitch!
(SHANICKA SCREAMING)
Who the fuck you think
you talkin' to, huh?
Who the fuck you think you
talkin' to?
I can't stand these hos!
'Cause I'm sick of yo ass!
You ain't sayin' shit now, huh?
I got somethin' for yo
motherfuckin' ass.
Fuck!
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
You talk like a man, you get
yo ass beat like a man, bitch!
Oh shit, I need my credit
card!
REGGIE: You got lots
of bones today, huh?
Oh, 'cause all day you fucked
him, huh?
Oh, now the bitch gotta get
tied to this motherfucker.
Damn it!
Oh you fuckin', you
got lots of bones today,
now you got fucked!
So, so, this what the fuck you
want, huh?
A giant vibrator with a face.
You can have this shit, man.
This motherfucker!
This what you want, huh?
This what you want?
(REGGIE GRUNTING)
Oh!
No!
No!
Stop it, no!
Stop it, no!
Talk that shit now!
What the fuck did you say?
Oh, you can't breathe,
motherfucker?
Huh?
I'm about to send yo ass to
hell, bitch!
(SHANICKA CHOKING)
JAYLON: Let her go.
Man, kiss my ass, man.
Who the hell you think you are,
huh?
Captain Save-A-Bitch, huh?
Do you hear me, motherfu...
(REGGIE GROANING)
Shit, nigga!
What the fuck?
Come on, man!
(REGGIE GROANING)
This is a bitch!
Kick his ass for me, baby!
Oh, shut up, bitch!
(REGGIE GROANING)
I'm gonna show this shit...
(GUN COCKING)
Motherfucker!
(GUN FIRING)
(WET SQUELCHING)
(GASPING)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(REGGIE GASPING AND COUGHING)
Fuck you!
(SHANICKA GASPING)
Oh my God!
The bullet must have
ricocheted.
You're entitled to a full
refund if you want it.
No, no, no, no, you don't,
you don't have to apologize for
anything.
You were worth every cent.
(SMOOTH R AND B MUSIC)
You really are the perfect man.
(JAYLON CHUCKLING)
I guess I'll clean this up
then?
Yeah.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
- Did you see that, dude?
- Yeah.
Gives a whole new meaning
to the term robotic love.
Doesn't it?
Wow!
I love stuff like that.
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
(WOMAN LAUGHING)
I love these tattooed titties
even more.
Get ready to pay me, girl.
(MR. MALEVOLENT LAUGHING)
That's weird, man.
(MYSTIC WOMAN CHANTING)
They just took over my screens
too.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
STUART: It's like he's
forcing us to watch it.
Ah.
This story involves our justice
system.
(MR. MALEVOLENT CHUCKLING)
Well...
There's nothing more
frightening than that.
We call this The Prosecutor.
(MR. MALEVOLENT LAUGHING)
JAMAL: What should we do?
STUART: Let's just watch
it and see what happens.
The defendant, Floyd
Johnson, wants you to believe
that on the fateful night in
question,
he was home alone, passed out
drunk.
We have an eyewitness that
saw Floyd Johnson leaving
where the murder happened
moments after those gunshots.
(GUN FIRING)
Floyd Johnson destroyed
the lives of his family
by murdering them in cold blood,
leaving a seven year old boy,
a nine year old girl, and a
beautiful wife
laying in crimson pools in their
own home.
They are screaming out from
their grave...
(SIREN WAILING)
That you must bring this man
to justice, and find him guilty
of murder.
(GAVEL BANGING)
And with that speech, Country
Prosecutor Raymond Moreland
secured the conviction of Floyd
Johnson,
and made himself a statewide
celebrity.
Now, after four years as
Texas Attorney General,
Moreland has just announced
his candidacy for Governor.
Mr. Moreland, thank you for
joining us this evening.
Thank you Chris, good
evening, I'm very happy
- to be here tonight.
- That's um,
that's some decent coverage,
buddy.
- Look at that.
- And,
I'm very proud of the fact
that I've sent more depraved
criminals to death row
than any other prosecutor in the
history
of the great state of Texas.
Can I get your autograph?
(LAUGHING)
Wouldn't life imprisonment
accomplish the same thing?
- (GUARD LAUGHING)
- Exodus 21:24,
"An eye for an eye, a tooth for
a tooth."
I'm very happy to be doing God's
work.
Will you be attending the
execution of Floyd Johnson?
I will not.
I will be at home spending
long overdue family time
with my wife and my beautiful
children, John and Missy.
CHRIS: Thank you for
joining us, Mr. Moreland.
Good luck with your campaign.
- Matthews!
- What?
What the hell do you think
you're doing?
Nothing!
Stop creeping around!
Weirdo!
I'm not creeping around,
and get back to rounds!
You big doofus.
Hey, Floyd.
Sorry about that, man.
He's a bit of an asshole
sometimes, huh?
Don't worry about it.
CHIEF AID: All right, I'm
looking at the poll numbers
coming out of Dallas-Fort Worth,
and it looks like you're
up five points right now.
That poll showing Dallas-Forth
Worth.
What did we do in West
Texas, Odessa, Uvalde?
West Texas, lookin' like
we're up around three right now
so we probably need to spend
a little bit more time over
there.
- We're up three?
- Yeah, we're up three.
- Permian Basin, all...
- Up.
- That's fantastic.
- Yeah.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Mr. Moreland, I have to
talk to you right away.
Okay, okay, about what?
I've been calling you and
writing you
and you haven't answered me.
What can I do for you?
You already know, we
have to stop the execution.
I told you, that man
I saw on TV last year,
the one that they arrested for
the home invasion robberies.
Chester Pinkett?
- Yes!
- Yeah.
As soon as they put his face
on TV,
I realized he's the one that I
saw
coming out of the Johnson house.
We've made a terrible
mistake, we both have,
but it's not too late
for us to correct it!
Who else have you told about
this?
- What?
- Your husband?
Have you told your husband?
No.
You haven't told your husband,
why not?
You know why.
That's right, I do.
'Cause your husband was
accused of terrible things,
and I made those things go away.
You know they weren't true.
It was his ex-wife out for
revenge.
Says you, but the
things he was accused of,
they destroy families.
And you never know when those
things come roaring back,
and they come...
Roaring back.
And you never know what could
spring it,
it could be just one phone call.
You bastard...
Don't you ever show
your face here again.
It's not good for you.
You're disgusting.
RAYMOND: Make sure she gets
right home.
The Lord is my shepherd.
I shall not want.
He maketh me lie down in green
pastures.
He leadeth me beside still
waters.
He restoreth my soul.
He leadeth me in the
paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
(CAGE DOOR CLANGING)
MISSY: How come you didn't go
see
that bad man die tonight, Daddy?
Missy, I didn't go
because my job's completed.
I would rather be with Mom and
you kids
than go to some execution.
Yea, though I walk through the
valley
of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for thou art with me.
Thy rod and thy staff shall
comfort me.
My friend said you were
gonna pull the switch
all by yourself.
Hey, you two hush.
This is not proper dinner
conversation.
And I will dwell in the
house of the Lord forever.
Now both of you, just
eat your vegetables.
("HAIL TO THE CHIEF" BY JAMES
SANDERSON)
Hey, I told you never
to call me at dinner.
This is family time.
It's important to Betty and I...
CHIEF AID: Sir, I got
a call from the prison.
Floyd Johnson escaped.
What?
Oh...
Hold on.
What are you talking about?
That's impossible.
They think he had help from a
guard
and-and maybe one other prison
employee...
- Your fault, guys.
- There's a manhunt on.
How long ago did he escape?
CHIEF AID: I-I don't know.
What do you mean you don't
know?
Find out, you idiot!
Right now, call the
police and get a squad car
sent to my house to protect my
family.
CHIEF AID: Absolutely, sir.
I'll tell them to send a squad
car over... (STATIC CRACKLING)
Hey, hello, hello?
Hello, are you there?
God...
Uh, love, I'm gonna be right
back, okay?
(EXHALING LOUDLY)
(THUNDER BOOMING)
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
Betty, did you turn out the
lights?
Guys?
(EXHALING LOUDLY)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Betty?
(THUNDER BOOMING)
Missy, John?
Floyd Johnson, what have
you done to my family?
(GUN FIRING)
Floyd!
Floyd!
Where are my wife and kids?
Floyd, look, you think you got a
raw deal,
I get that, I do, okay?
(GROANING)
Floyd, tell me where my family
is!
And then, yeah, then, you and I,
we can talk about you getting a
retrial.
A retrial, Floyd!
You hear me?
FLOYD: I heard you.
(GUN FIRING)
(RAYMOND GASPING)
(ELECTRICITY BUZZING)
(RAYMOND BREATHING HEAVILY)
RAYMOND: If you hurt
my wife or my kids,
I will kill you, you son of a
bitch!
(GUNS FIRING)
(GLASS SHATTERING)
(ELECTRICITY POWERING ON)
(RAYMOND BREATHING HEAVILY)
MISSY: Daddy, Daddy!
(RAYMOND GASPING)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(RAYMOND GROANING)
Floyd?
You ready?
Yes.
(GARBLED POLICE RADIO
TRANSMISSION)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(SIRENS WAILING)
What are you idiots doing?
What are you doing?
Floyd Johnson did this!
You guys are idiots, Floyd
Johnson killed my family,
you should be out tracking him
down!
Get him, Goddamn it!
And uncuff me!
I can have all of you
out of work tomorrow!
I'm gonna be Governor
of the state of Texas.
The great state of Texas
won't have you in it!
Why aren't you even listening to
me?
Sir...
Hi.
CHIEF AID: What happened?
What do you mean what
happened? It was Floyd Johnson.
Floyd Johnson came in
here, the lights were out,
he killed my family,
and he almost killed me!
CHIEF AID: Sir, I don't
understand.
You-you don't understand?
You're the one that called me
and told me he got out of
jail, he escaped from jail.
You-you called me.
CHIEF AID: I didn't call you.
It-it was less than an hour
ago.
You called me and you-you
said he escaped from jail.
I was having dinner with my
family.
Floyd Johnson was
executed a half hour ago
by lethal injection.
That's impossible.
That's impossible, 'cause
he killed my family.
He killed my family,
Floyd Johnson was here.
Look, look, he shot me.
- Sir...
- He...
- Sir...
- Sir, my ass!
Floyd Johnson was right here!
He killed my family!
Don't look at me like that.
I was shot, there was blood,
and, I'm innocent.
You know I'm innocent.
Guys like me aren't guilty, I'm
innocent!
I'm innocent!
(SCREAMING)
Please!
John?
Johnson?
You did this to me, you son of a
bitch!
He did thi...
(WHEEZING) You're not...
Hey, no!
No, no, no!
No!
No, please!
(MACHINERY WHIRRING)
Please!
Please!
No!
No!
He thought justice would be
delivered
to the low and undesirable,
but was sadly mistaken.
(MR. MALEVOLENT LAUGHING)
(MYSTIC WOMAN CHANTING)
(JAMAL LAUGHING)
JAMAL: What is she,
talking some voodoo?
Don't we have some like,
translator software or something?
Huh...
Ah.
This symbol of treason brings to
mind
a story entitled White Flight.
(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(KNOCKING)
DELIVERY MAN: Tommy Deuchet?
It's Thomas.
And mister to you, Chinaman.
Actually, Polynesian.
Oh!
Poly-nese!
Oh, Japy-nese, Chi-nese.
Don't matter, you all
need to get on your knees
and thank the Lord you're
even alive in this country.
What the hell do you want?
Delivery.
Oh shit, finally.
Hey Molly, it's here!
(EQUIPMENT WHIRRING)
DELIVERY MAN: Can I have you
sign here?
Mm-hmm.
Ironic they have the
two of youse deliver it.
(TOMMY CHUCKLING)
Should have got you a
Mexican sidekick though.
They know know to work,
as long as you can handle all
the ass gas
from the beans they like to chew
on.
Signature right here.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, boy!
Careful with that box now.
It cost more than your
whole year's crack budget,
you hear me?
Just pretend it's filled with
malt liquor, welfare checks,
then you'll do just fine.
(BOX THUDDING LOUDLY)
Hey, aren't you, uh...
You damn right.
(SIREN WAILING)
(SPITTING)
That welfare baby deserved
every lick I gave him.
Whether he stole that
car or not, believe me,
he was guilty of somethin'.
Uh huh.
And who catches hell for it?
Me.
All because of some
Black Lives Matter or BS.
Bastard cost me my job,
got me livin' out here,
but all that's about
to change, sure there.
Hey, hey!
No more inside?
You just gonna leave it
out there on the sidewalk?
Ain't you supposed to bring it
in?
Hey, hey!
(LOUD CRASHING)
Damn!
I thought this country was
supposed to be great again.
(UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC)
Molly, it's here!
MOLLY: I'm comin'.
You shoulda seen the
asshole they had deliver it.
If I had any compunction
about gettin' us outta here,
that asshole and his lazy
nigger eponymous America coon,
they settled it for me.
Ooh wee, ain't she a beaut?
It's a lot bigger than
I thought it would be.
This technology has to be big,
'cause of what it has to do.
Okay, so you know I've
been wanting to get us
and the girls away from
all this racial mixing?
Mm-hmm.
- So...
- Mm-hmm?
If you think it'll be okay...
I'll be.
I wouldn't have sold my
daddy's antique Klan robe,
my beer can collection,
my rifles, the pick-ups,
and my autographed picture of
Ted Nugent
if I didn't think it
was gonna work, would I?
- Okay.
- Honey, by midnight tonight,
you, me and the girls,
we gonna be in another
dimension,
in a land, far, far away.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Heavenly...
White...
Peace.
Mmm.
Molly?
It's time to go.
All youse gotta go is
place your feet right here.
(ANGEL COOING)
Lovely, you look nice, and you,
Angel,
you stay up there in your mama's
arms.
Now, I got it set to the good
old days,
just like my daddy and granddaddy
would have remembered it.
Now all I gotta do...
Is pull this switch right here.
(MACHINERY WHIRRING)
And we should be good.
Lord Jesus...
(PRAYING SOFTLY)
(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)
(ANGEL CRYING)
Tommy?
Where is this?
Down right there.
Look!
(TOMMY LAUGHING)
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Whoo!
(SOFT UPBEAT MUSIC)
Baby!
"Welcome to White Fork.
"No blacks allowed.
"Ever."
This is what I'm talkin' about.
(CRYING SOFTLY)
This is what I'm talkin' about.
Look at those smiling faces.
(TOMMY CHEERING)
Follow your father.
Ooh, I tell you what, I
ain't never felt more at home.
Is this not the good old days?
(PEOPLE CHUCKLING)
Heck, they shouldn't
even call it White Fork.
They should just call it White
Folks.
It's your new home.
New arrivals!
TOMMY: Yes sir, me and my
family.
Well, welcome.
You and your family
get your some lemonade,
then head on over to the
reception center.
God almighty!
Yeah, she's quite the looker,
ain't she?
Blacks!
Blacks!
Blacks!
(TOMMY LAUGHING)
TOMMY: Yeah!
- (ALARM BLARING)
- Blacks!
Blacks!
Blacks!
Blacks!
Blacks!
- Yeah!
- Blacks!
We don't want 'em!
(TOMMY LAUGHING)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
- (TOMMY LAUGHING)
- Blacks!
Blacks!
Baby, you about to see your
first real-live lynching.
Oh!
It's exciting!
- (MOLLY LAUGHING)
- Yes.
I see they take their Second
Amendment rights and privileges
quite seriously around here.
They don't mess around at all.
(LASERS FIRING)
Baby?
Baby?
No!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Baby?
(ANGEL CRYING)
What...
What the hell did you just do?
Are they dead?
Oh, yeah.
We got them new smart guns.
Leaves the outsides intact,
but turns the insides into
hamburger.
But, why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Well come on, didn't you see
the sign when you came in?
No blacks allowed.
Ever.
You're black, what?
You're black!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
What?
What's so funny?
What?
Not black skinned, black hair.
Who gives a rat's rear
end about black skin?
It's...
(ANGEL CRYING)
It's black hairs, they's the
problem.
Nasty black bastards.
They, they don't belong here.
I just wish we could get rid
of all the black bastards.
You know, the, the little
black-haired monkeys.
Nothin' good ever came
from a black-haired monkey.
She wasn't an animal.
(ANGEL CRYING)
She was my wife.
Shh-shh-shh.
Your wife?
You married one of 'em?
You're a dirty black rug lover?
God!
You're lucky you got blonde
hair.
Despite my...
Personal opinions on the matter,
current law says all we
can do is lock your ass up,
but that could change here next
election.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
You got a little black-haired
runt!
That's Angel, you can't shoot
her!
Yeah, we can't shoot Angel,
'cause our weapons don't
work when they're this small.
(SHERIFF SIGHING)
Guess we gotta do it
the old fashioned way.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know, it's,
it's kinda messy, but uh, it's
effective.
Somebody give me a sack.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(ANGEL CRYING)
(MECHANIC CHUCKLING)
Quiet down.
Quiet down!
Little black-haired piece of...
(ANGEL CRYING)
Excuse me.
I gotcha!
No!
(LOUD THUDDING)
No!
(TOMMY GASPING)
(TOWNSPEOPLE CHATTERING)
Still movin'?
(LOUD CRUNCHING)
- (TOWNSPEOPLE CHEERING)
- Yeah!
That's how you do it now.
Angel!
Angel!
Angel!
Angel!
Angel!
(DRAMATIC ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
No!
No!
No!
No!
Well, well...
I guess that proves it.
Racism can sometimes be
a very hairy situation.
(LAUGHING)
JAMAL: Ooh, I got control
back.
STUART: Me too.
(WOMEN MOANING AND LAUGHING)
- Yo, Stu?
- Hmm?
That babe that you recorded
working her snatch with a
big-ass dildo,
did she ever pay you?
Nope.
She was supposed to send me
$800 by Friday, but she flaked.
So what did you do?
What do you think I did?
I put up 50 screenshots on her
Facebook,
Instagram and Twitter, and
then I sent the entire batch
to everyone on her contact list.
For real?
Yeah.
Damn, Stuart!
You one cold-ass dude.
Hey.
But I love it.
Hey, everyone else paid their
taxes.
I got a hacker rep to protect.
That's true.
Hold on, let me see if she,
uh,
took those photos down yet.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(KEYBOARD CLACKING)
What the fuck?
JAMAL: What's up?
Looks like she killed herself.
Over the photos?
Nah, no way.
I don't know, maybe.
I mean, it was the next day.
Shit, man.
Hell, if it was that easy
to push her over the edge,
it was only a matter of time,
anyway.
She must have been batshit
crazy.
True.
(STATIC BUZZING)
Uh oh.
(MR. MALEVOLENT LAUGHING)
What's up?
STUART: Oh shit, look who's
back again.
(MYSTIC WOMAN CHANTING)
Yep, they're back on my
screens too.
- Damn, they're pretty good.
- Yeah.
(MR. MALEVOLENT SIGHING)
Now, this story
demonstrates what can happen
when one good soul reaches
out to help another.
And it's called...
The Samaritan.
(MR. MALEVOLENT LAUGHING)
(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
- Oh yes, yes!
- Oh my God!
(KNOCKING)
(OXYGEN TANK RATTLING)
(MR. PREEVY WHEEZING)
(LOUD COUGHING)
Is that contagious?
It's deadly, but it's not
contagious.
Okay, baby, let's get this
mark.
You can't catch cancer.
You're just born with it.
(MR. PREEVY COUGHING)
I believe this is the right
amount?
That was before I knew you
looked like death warmed over.
I'm gonna need another two.
Could you give me a second?
(MR. PREEVY COUGHING)
I'm tellin' you, his type got
money
hid all over the place.
You make sure he don't finish
too quick.
Normally I wait in the car...
But given your condition,
I figured, you know,
I'd just hang out here in case
you pass out or somethin'.
That's fine.
(MR. PREEVY COUGHING)
Here's two extra.
I do have one particular...
Request.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
The circus is...
It's such a happy place and
I've,
I've always loved clowns.
You must love elephants too.
It smells like shit in here.
The air could be fresher in
here.
(DRAMATIC CIRCUS MUSIC)
(RATS SQUEAKING)
So, Angel...
What I'd like you to do is if
you can,
you can put this on.
You wanna fuck a clown?
This'll definitely be extra.
At least another three.
There's also a costume.
It'd be great if you could put
that on.
Four.
Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna go find more cash.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
That should cover it.
Covered it.
Well, then I'll, uh...
Just go freshen up.
I'm sure you'll have a good
time.
And so will I.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(DOOR CREAKING)
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
(SIGHING)
(MR. PREEVY COUGHING)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
Oh...
(ANGEL COUGHING)
(CHILD LAUGHING)
(DOOR CREAKING)
Hey, old man?
You about ready?
(MR. PREEVY LAUGHING)
MR. PREEVY: I'll be out in a
minute.
(BALLOON DEFLATING)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(TENSE MUSIC)
(WET SQUELCHING)
(ANGEL BREATHING HEAVILY)
(MR. PREEVY LAUGHING)
That's my dead body in his
closet,
but you can hear me as long
as I hold this crucifix.
(ANGEL GROANING)
Wait, listen, he will kill
you, like he killed me!
I'm just trying to save you!
(WATER RUNNING)
(MR. PREEVY LAUGHING)
(ANGEL BREATHING HEAVILY)
(TENSE MUSIC)
(ANGEL BREATHING HEAVILY)
(LOUD FOOTSTEPS)
ANGEL: Let me out, let me
out!
(ANGEL SOBBING)
(BALLOONS SQUEAKING)
MR. PREEVY: A rose for a
beauty.
Now...
How about something
with a little more pop?
(BLADE RINGING)
(ANGEL GASPING)
(MR. PREEVY GRUNTING)
(ANGEL SCREAMING)
(WOOD BREAKING)
(MR. PREEVY LAUGHING)
Everyone loves a clown!
(EERIE WARBLING)
What the fuck?
(BLADE RINGING)
(BLOOD SPLATTERING)
Now let's see how you like it!
(MR. PREEVY SCREAMING)
(BLADE CLATTERING)
Now I can finally rest in peace.
You want it back?
You keep it.
(BLOOD DRIPPING)
(EERIE WHOOSHING)
- (STATIC BUZZING)
- That was insane, dude.
Wow.
I guess you could say,
the young lady was in no
mood for clowning around.
(STUART AND MR. MALEVOLEN LAUGHING)
This guy's funny.
(MYSTIC WOMAN CHANTING)
No mood!
(EERIE WARBLING)
JAMAL: Where do you think
that guy got his suit from?
STUART: I think he
killed a pimp in the 1800s.
Now our next story
deals with the perils of
combining an empty head
with a big mouth.
It's called Hate Radio.
(STATIC BUZZING)
(EERIE WARBLING)
Are you fuckin' kidding me?
JAMAL: What's up?
STUART: I swear I just
saw a picture of myself.
That's weird, man.
Welcome to another wonderful
night.
You're listening to the
best talk radio program
in the world.
I am your brilliant and
smooth-tongued host,
Mr. Hugh Bluff.
And I got a message for
all you race hustling,
feminazis, libtards, angry gays,
welfare moochers, professional
victims.
Huh, did I leave anybody out?
Look, whatever your hustle is,
all right,
you my wanna change the station
now
before you get your
itsy-bitsy feelings hurt.
These crypto-lesbian man-haters
attending the university
of fruits, flakes and nuts
up there in Berkeley,
California, are redefining rape
as any time a man gets a rush of
blood
into his nether regions within
50 feet of an x chromosome,
as a bunch of castrated,
feminized,
emasculated, metrosexual pansies
are allowing themselves to be
dominated by the weaker sex!
I mean, we didn't have
maniacs like Ted Bundy
back in the 50s, you know why?
'Cause most of the women had
their priorities straight.
Now time to open it up to the
callers.
Jake from New Mexico, you are on
the line.
Go ahead.
JAKE: Mr. Bluff, my
ex-wife never worked at all,
besides, like, raising the kids
and stuff,
and she got the house and full
custody.
And now she's got my own kids
hatin' on me
because I hit the bitch a few
times.
I feel for you, Jake.
But you know what some people
say?
Behind every man charged
with domestic violence
is a woman who just
wouldn't shut her mouth.
Now, one of my favorite callers,
Felix, you are on the air.
How's it hanging?
FELIX: Mr. Bluff, I want
to expand on your comment
about Ted Bundy.
Has it ever occurred to
you that guys like Ted,
or this new avenger they call
The Chopper,
were actually doing a public
service?
How so?
FELIX: Serial killers remind
women
that they need men around to
protect them.
It might be the only thing that
keeps them
from declaring all-out war on
us.
Hail The Chopper.
That's why we like
your phone calls, Felix,
because you bring a unique
perspective to the program.
Right now, it's time to pay the
bills.
We'll be right back after
these commercial messages.
What do we got here?
"From your biggest fan."
(LAUGHING)
Oh, wow!
(LAUGHING)
Look at that.
(SIGHING)
Yes, sir.
(LIQUOR POURING)
Make America Great Again.
What the hell?
Fucking libtards.
When Johnny comes marching
home again
Hurrah, hurrah
We'll give him a hero welcome
then
Hurrah, hurrah
The men will cheer and
the boys will shout
The ladies they will all turn
out
(HUMMING HAPPILY)
Who's the best radio talk
show host in the country?
You are.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
What the fuck?
(GROANING AND SCREAMING)
(GASPING)
Jesus!
(SCREAMING)
(SOFT THUDDING)
(SCREAMING)
(GROANING)
(SCREAMING)
Are you all right?
Hey, can you hear me?
HUGH: So I ask you, where's
it stop?
How long before real men stand
up
and take your God-given rights
back?
Are we just supposed to
slink off into some dustbin
of world history as the
politically
and vaginally-correct crowd
create a new gynocracy
in which we no longer have a
place?
(FEMALE HUGH GASPING)
What were you doing out in
front of
Hugh Bluff's place tonight?
Where am I?
Who the hell are you?
Shut up, bitch.
Come on man, I am Hugh Bluff!
Stop imitating Mr. Bluff.
It's disrespectful.
Wait a second.
I recognize your voice.
Y-you're Felix.
Calling my program all the time.
You gotta let me go, listen, no!
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
Your program?
You got a lot of nerve saying
that.
And, the given name is Felix,
but you can call me Chopper.
(FEMALE HUGH SCREAMING MUFFLED)
What do you think?
Ah, here we go.
Okay.
(SCRAPING)
Wait a second, wait a second!
Listen to me!
I'm not a woman!
I'm Hugh Bluff!
No, not that!
(FELIX CHUCKLING)
- Look, man!
- Yeah.
You're about to make a big
mistake!
(GAS HISSING)
You fuckin' psycho!
What the fuck's the matter with
you?
I'm Hugh Bluff!
(FLAME WHOOSHING)
No, please!
Please don't kill me with fire!
Open wide.
FEMALE HUGH: No, I'm Hugh
Bluff!
No!
I guess that's what happens
when you walk a mile in
another person's high heels.
- (MR. MALEVOLENT LAUGHING)
- No way.
JAMAL: He got flamed.
(MYSTIC WOMAN CHANTING)
Whoa.
That was sick, man.
(EERIE WARBLING)
Oh.
Now this is what happens
when an evil lie becomes
reality.
(MR. MALEVOLENT LAUGHING)
It's called The Healer.
(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)
(GOSPEL SINGING)
Benighted ones across the
globe,
God has used me as a
vessel to heal and restore.
(MAN GROANING)
Perfection revealed!
(CONGREGATION CHEERING)
Tumors, arthritis, blindness,
all manner of illness and
disease have been vanquished
as we break the mirror
of the devil's reflection
and reveal God's perfection.
Perfection revealed!
The man stands!
Praise the Lord.
He'll make the blind see.
This Sunday, I will bring my
ministry
and vibrant health to your town
so that you can see in person
the perfection revealed.
Raise your hands above your
head!
God's perfection revealed!
Come on Lord and show me!
Because as you know,
I bring the healing,
and you bring the faith.
In God we trust.
That new spot's gettin'
some good reaction, huh?
Yeah, we've already had a
20% spike in book sales online.
And we got enough product for
tomorrow?
I increased inventory across
the board,
but we do have a slight problem
here.
The Tears of Jesus.
Two drops a day will chase
the imperfection away.
Yeah, only they're empty.
We can't have Tears of
Jesus without Jesus' tears.
(WATER POURING)
Straight from God.
After all, everything
comes from God, right?
Oh, jeez, Janet.
Sunglasses, sunglasses!
I mean, folks out there get one
look
at your fucked-up eye,
and they won't believe I'd
be able to heal a paper cut.
First question will be,
"Why can't Bishop Love
fix yo raggedy-ass eye?"
Yes, sir.
And you know, when you're
signin' my autograph,
I make my Bs bigger, okay?
Enough of that right now.
I need to get back to the hotel
so I can rest up for tomorrow.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
MAN: That's him, that's the
Bishop!
MAN: There he is!
- There's Bishop Love!
- There's the Bishop!
- Oh, help us!
- Help us!
Come on, brothers and sisters!
MAN: Please, sir!
We need you!
Tomorrow!
God bless you all!
- (ALL TALKING)
- Bishop, help us, please!
Please!
(SIGHING)
I don't want none of that.
Look, Janet, pull the car around
to the service entrance out
back.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Now where the hell is Janet?
I got this honey waitin'
on me back at the hotel
for a private laying on hands.
(BISHOP LOVE GROANING)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
Jesus.
God won't get you out
of this one, Bishop.
Who the hell are you?
This ain't about me.
It's about my daughter.
She had faith.
She had plenty of faith.
She bought your books.
Your prayer cloth.
She drove miles to have
you shrink her tumor,
then practically bathe
in your Tears of Jesus.
A lot of money wasted on snake
oil
that could have bought honest
medicine.
Okay.
How can I help you?
Money?
I don't want your damn money!
I want you to see my daughter.
She was beautiful, but when she
died,
she looked like this.
(FLIES BUZZING)
Oh my God!
You oughta stop that God
routine.
'Cause if He's up there,
He's got nothing for your
triflin' ass.
(GUN COCKING)
Open your eyes.
She died in pain.
Great pain, and nothing
can bring her back.
But I found magic, and some
real tongues to speak in.
(ROSCOE SPEAKING FOREIGN
LANGUAGE)
There is no magic.
There are no tongues!
I can't do it and you can't
either!
That's right, sweetheart.
Hold it there.
Oh, baby...
They ain't Jesus' tears, but
they work.
Now, drink.
No.
Drink.
Don't make me pick up this gun
again.
Drink!
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Now we wait.
(SIREN WAILING)
Bishop Love, over here!
OFFICER: We need to
get them transported.
It don't matter.
- You've got the power.
- Get 'em both.
The sick and the crippled,
they'll be drawn to your
perfection, like flies to shit.
Go to hell, old man.
OFFICER: Okay sir, let's go.
Easy.
Hands on the hood.
Now over there.
- Bishop?
- Oh, yeah.
(FINGERS CRACKING)
Thank goodness we put
that emergency GPS app
on your phone.
Ow, damn!
Ow, my hand!
CLYDE: Probably cramping
from being tied up so long.
Yeah.
(ROSCOE LAUGHING)
ROSCOE: How ya feelin'?
Now what is your psycho ass
laughing at?
(ROSCOE LAUGHING)
God is good...
Bishop.
(LAUGHING)
Get me out of here, Clyde.
- Yes, sir.
- Ow, damn!
(BONES CRACKING)
Ow, my hand!
My eyes!
Mine too.
I-I-I-I can't see right.
Me either.
Huh, it seems like it's
better without 'em.
Give me those.
What did you do?
I made you a healer.
Are you okay, sir?
(SCREAMS) Don't touch
me Janet, goddamn it!
Don't you fuckin' touch me!
But I can help you!
BISHOP LOVE: No, do not touch
me!
- But I can't help...
- Stop!
My...
Wait a minute.
This can't be.
Oh my God!
It's a miracle!
This is not a miracle,
I've gotten your scar!
Well I ain't takin' it back.
This is your fault, old man!
This is your fault!
- (GUN FIRING)
- Put the gun down!
Put the gun down!
(BISHOP LOVE GROANING)
- Drop your weapon!
- Drop it!
(ROSCOE LAUGHING)
ROSCOE: I called some friends
of mine
to join us out here, Bishop.
(PEOPLE GROANING)
Stay away from me!
Get the fuck away from me!
(PEOPLE GROANING)
Get away from me!
What the hell are you doing?
Get away!
(ROSCOE LAUGHING)
Get away!
(PEOPLE CRYING AND LAUGHING)
MAN: It's a miracle!
(EERIE MUSIC)
(SKIN CRACKING)
Perfection...
Revealed.
(STATIC BUZZING)
(EERIE WARBLING)
So I guess he became a healer
after all.
(MYSTIC WOMAN LAUGHING)
(WOMEN MOANING)
Oh shit!
Check it out dude, I hit pay
dirt!
(JAMAL CHUCKLING)
Lesbian threesome action?
You are the man, Jamal!
Yes!
Where's the feed coming from?
JAMAL: I don't know.
The IP address keeps changing.
STUART: It feels
like another ghost feed.
Yeah.
But these girls can feed me
anytime.
Uh, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, what's she doing?
No, no, no, don't
close your laptop baby!
Baby, don't close your laptop!
Whew.
Close, whew, that was close.
(EERIE MUSIC)
(WITCHES WHISPERING)
These bitches think they're
witches or something.
Whatever, as long as they
put out before they're done.
(WITCHES WHISPERING)
How can these fools believe in
this shit
in the age of high tech, you
know?
STUART: Is something
wrong with your screen?
What the...
(MYSTIC WOMAN CHANTING)
(MR. MALEVOLENT LAUGHING)
(STATIC BUZZING)
(EERIE WARBLING)
That's weird.
STUART: This guy's
a real piece of work.
This is a story that may
rattle you.
(RATTLE RATTLING)
(MYSTIC WOMAN CHUCKLING)
It's called Thy Will Be Done.
(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)
It's like he's controlling
everything.
Cool, I got 'em back.
Thought I almost lost it.
That can't be real.
Dude, it's gotta be a trick.
(STATIC BUZZING)
This is really pissing me off
now.
STUART: We're just along for
the ride.
Remember, your procedure
is a day from tomorrow.
If you have any questions at any
time,
call our after hours number
on the bottom of the pre-op
instructions.
Okay.
You're gonna be okay.
Thanks.
(DRAMATIC PIANO MUSIC)
Excuse me?
Excuse me, please, can you help
me?
My little girl just wandered
off,
- I don't know where she is!
- Oh God...
Please help me!
- I'm so sorry, I haven't...
- She's just a baby,
and she's all alone, and
I don't know where she is!
Here, wait, I have a
photo right here of her!
- (GINA GASPING)
- Shut up!
Come on, close the door.
(GINA SCREAMING MUFFLED)
That's it, watch her head.
Careful.
Here we go.
(GINA SCREAMING MUFFLED)
(GINA BREATHING HEAVILY)
So we take that off, you
promise you're not gonna scream?
Aw, you're so cute.
(WILLIAM LAUGHING)
(TAPE RIPPING)
(GINA BREATHING HEAVILY)
Where am I?
What is this?
Well, it's what we call a
rescue.
For the life of your child.
I don't have a child.
Oh yes, you do.
Inside of you.
Remember, you were gonna kill it
because it was somehow
inconvenient to you?
Hey, if you didn't want a child,
you shouldn't have opened your
legs.
I was raped.
I was raped!
It's still a life inside of
you.
Are you not hearing me?
I was abducted and raped!
You have no idea what he did to
me.
What it did to me.
Being raped does not mean
that you can hurt an innocent.
It's not innocent.
It's ugly.
The next eight months can be
easy,
or they can be hard.
- Please, please...
- But you will have this baby.
I'm a good person.
This thing that is inside
me, it is not good.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up.
You need to trust in God as we
do, right?
Let's let God decide
what's good and what's not.
Okay, sweetie, here we go,
open wide.
Open your mouth, sweetie.
Open wide.
Come on, come on, open up.
You don't wanna die, do you?
You gotta eat, come on.
Come on.
- Open!
- Come on, open up.
Open up, sweetheart.
- Open, just come on...
- Open!
- Give out of the way.
- All right, okay, fine.
- Move.
- If that's what you want.
Okay, fine.
- Mm-mmm.
- Come on, come on.
Come on.
Come on, it's okay, it's okay,
come on.
(GINA GRUNTING)
That's right, there we go, good
job.
(SPITTING)
Fuck you!
(LEANNE CHUCKLING)
If that's how you want it...
Fine.
Naughty girl.
(WILLIAM GRUNTING)
Yeah, you just keep on
being disobedient, right?
(GINA GROANING)
Hold her, hold her!
Give your face, give it!
Give it!
- Oh yeah.
- There.
WILLIAM: Yeah, get out
of there, get out of there.
- That's right, that's right.
- I got it, I got it.
You will nourish your child.
No!
(WILLIAM CHUCKLING)
There you go.
Ooh, this is gonna be delicious.
God still loves you.
He still loves you, and
you're gonna have a baby.
There we go.
(GINA GROANING)
(WILLIAM LAUGHING)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
You know, if you'd only eat,
we wouldn't have to do this.
- Okay.
- Mm-mmm.
Oh, wait.
You-you'd rather eat, huh?
- Uh huh.
- Yeah?
I-I don't, I can't hear you.
What-what's that?
(SAUL SCREAMING)
No, no!
(SAUL CHOKING)
(GINA BREATHING HEAVILY)
No!
(SAUL GROANING)
(GINA BREATHING HEAVILY)
(TENSE MUSIC)
(SAUL GROANING)
Goddamn it!
Hey Saul, I'm back.
SAUL: Leanne!
I'm up here, I got locked in!
What?
SAUL: She-she-she locked me
in!
- She...
- No, are you kidding me?
- Oh, God!
- Oh, God!
You're such an idiot,
I never should have brought you
into this!
- She fucking escaped!
- Go find her!
SAUL: Damn it!
(WILLIAM WHISTLING)
(GINA BREATHING HEAVILY)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
Go down the tunnel,
go through the tunnel!
Where is she?
(GINA BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GINA GRUNTING)
(WOOD CLATTERING)
Where do you think you're
goin'?
I will not have this child.
I will not have this child!
I will not have this child!
(LOUD THUDDING)
- No!
- No, no, stop, stop!
- Get out of me!
- Quit it!
I won't!
I will not have this child!
I will not have this child!
- Come on.
- I will not have this child!
Hey, her water broke!
(GINA SCREAMING)
Water broke, water broke!
It's too early!
It's too early, it's not good!
All right, I'll get the car
ready!
Hold on, hold on, wait,
it's comin' man, it's
gonna, it's gonna come.
LEANNE: All right, could
you just get that off...
WILLIAM: Yeah, I got it.
(GINA GASPING AND SCREAMING)
(STATIC BUZZING)
(LEANNE SPEAKING IN FOREIGN
LANGUAGE)
Help me!
Push!
(GINA SCREAMING)
It's coming, oh, it's coming!
Do you see what happens
when you trust in God?
Miracles!
(CHUCKLING)
Miracles!
(WILLIAM GASPING)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(DEMONIC SQUEALING)
What the hell are you?
Your superior.
(WILLIAM, SAUL AND LEANNE
SCREAMING AND WHIMPERING)
(DEMONIC LAUGHTER)
You will all be used to take my
seed.
Put simply, like her,
you will bear my children,
and you will die.
Hey, check it out, homeboy.
I'm a man, dawg.
I can't have a baby.
Well, why don't we let God
decide that?
(WILLIAM GASPING)
(WILLIAM SCREAMING)
(ELECTRICITY SPARKING)
STUART: Turn it off, turn it
off!
(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)
What the hell?
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
- God!
He got us good.
JAMAL: I think they were
watching us.
Yeah.
Yeah, you-you're right.
JAMAL: Oh my God!
Hey, do you wanna go to the
Spotlight?
I need, I need a drink.
Yeah, definitely.
I think I'm gonna go for a
double Long Island Iced Tea.
- (LOUD SLICING)
- Yeah.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(DEMON ROARING)
No, no, no, no!
(JAMAL SCREAMING)
(WITCHES LAUGHING)
(STATIC BUZZING)
Apparently, perverts
should exorcize their demons,
before their demons exorcize
them.
(MR. MALEVOLENT LAUGHING)
You've done very well.
So I am going to reward you
with a year of youth and beauty,
my little dark princess.
(LAUGHING)
Do you have any more stories
for me this year, hmm?
But of course.
(CHUCKLING)
Ah.
My, my, my.
Now this is the most
terrifying story of all.
It's about to happen now,
and strangely enough...
It's about you.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)