Among Friends (2012)

- How come there isn't booze in this thing?
Nice mullet, dude!
I do look wonderful, don't I?
Here's champagne, you
guys. Champagne. Everybody, cheers.
- Cheers.
- This is fun!
Party has arrived!
- Fuckin' rad!
- What's up, bro?
Guys, come on, a
toast. Seriously, everybody.
- Everybody. You got some?
- Cheers.
Marcus!
Check it out, man.
Limo, buddy!
Let's get fucked up!
Tonight is gonna be killer.
Bernadette went all out
on this shit.
Well, she is the queen
of details.
I'd shoot myself in the face
if I was anything like her.
Doesn't stop you
from drinking her champagne.
- What is that?
- Shroom ball.
I got 'em from the guy on set.
He gave 'em to me.
- Mushrooms?!
- What kind of movie is it gonna be?
Like psychedelic porn? Like
people getting all tripped out
And, like, fucking goats
and shit?
No, it is a real movie
this time... Totally legit.
I have lines
and everything.
Oh, congrats, sis,
that's awesome.
Thanks, bro.
I'm totally psyched.
Speaking of lines, Jules,
you got any blow?
Don't insult me.
Of course I do.
Who's left?
- Lily.
- Easy, trigger.
Hey, man, I think
you have one more stop.
Thank you.
What the hell?
Lily's not on this list.
Goatee... Bold choice.
Nice hair, motherfucker.
- Mmm, yes.
- Creeper.
Suck a good dick,
don't you?
Get out of this goddamn thing.
- Thanks, man.
- Yep. You probably do, too.
Hi.
You dirty bitch.
Mmm.
- Bye.
- Mmm, nice tits.
Fuck off.
Is she even home?
This may be
our last party here ever.
Bernadette says she wants to
move. She can't stand the people.
Can you imagine having to be
a psychologist in this town?
Psychiatrist.
Psychologist.
I think I know. I
introduced her to everyone.
Whatever.
It's the same thing.
- No, it's not, Blane.
- Whatever, Sara.
Oh no!
I left my phone
in the limo.
Oh, crap.
Bernadette?
- Dude, what's it say?
- What's what say?
- The note, idiot.
- Oh.
It says,
"come around back."
Bernie?
Door's open.
Yo, Bernie,
quit fucking around.
- Have a nice trip?
- See you next fall!
Ow. Fuck.
Why is this shit lying in the middle
of the fucking floor like that?
Bernie?
Ow, fuck.
Bernadette?
Ah!
It's not fucking funny!
- A little bit.
- You should have seen your faces.
- I almost had a heart attack.
- Oh, you're fine.
Oh, we can't have you
checking out early.
- I think I'm gonna...
- Can I go to the bathroom?
Oh, you know what?
My bathroom's off limits.
Sorry. You can use
the one in the hall.
- I'm gonna go too.
- Did you make fudgy panties?
Fuck off.
Everyone else
ready for a cocktail?
- Yes.
- Seriously, though, did you?
Nice little spread here.
Always impressive,
Bernie.
Where's the vodka?
# dark days
# ooh, bright nights
# you make it easy...
So when do
we start the game?
- Soon.
- You ever played this game before?
I got Blane's sister a
"whodunit" game last Christmas.
But, anyway,
I didn't end up going,
But, um, so I don't
really know how to play.
# and when you're near...
Cocktails?
# you make me higher...
That one there is for you.
It's a virgin.
Thank you
for pointing that out.
Thank you.
Thank you.
To... integrity.
Hmm, integrity. I like that.
- Is that like honesty?
- Kind of.
Integrity.
I want to make
another toast.
To Adam.
60 days clean...
That's awesome.
Cheers, Besty.
Wow, man, you're like an N.A.
Poster boy, man. Congratulations.
- Yeah, like N.A. Poser boy.
- You shut your mouth.
Come on, Jules. Come on.
You want me. Just a kiss.
- Never have, never will.
- Come on.
Six years and this doofus
doesn't get it.
Blane, she's a lesbian,
Which means
she doesn't like hot dogs.
If she had one
bite of my hot dog...
- Ah, that's gross.
- More like Vienna sausage.
Totally! Hot dog? And why
would you want me to bite it?
A woman should bite it, like,
with... Not with your teeth,
Kind of like a... Like...
Your face looks like an
asshole when you do that.
Oh, snap!
- Good one.
- Where's lily?
Lily's not here.
- She will probably not be joining us for dinner.
- Why not?
Ooh, it's part of the murder
mystery we have to solve, isn't it?
Okay. "Tonight we're playing
a game of 'whodunit.'
It's prom night
in 1984.
You and your friends are gathered
for some pre-Prom partying."
Come on! Okay, come on,
you guys have to get into it!
Okay okay, this
is awesome. Okay okay.
"One of your friends
is missing."
"It turns out
that someone here...
Yes, one of
your closest friends...
Is, like,
totally a killer!"
Ooh, I knew it!
I knew it!
You're so smart.
So, okay. "It's your job
to figure out who the killer is
And why he or she
has snapped.
In this house,
there's evidence to be found
Which will help you
figure out 'whodunit.'
There's evidence in the kitchen,
the master bedroom,
And the guest bedroom.
To find it,
Think like a killer.
You should now split up
and meet back in the dining room
With whatever you find,
at which point,
More information
will be given."
But we gotta
smoke some crack first.
- Smoke crack?
- I don't get it.
- Crack?
- The '80s.
- Oh, right.
- Hey, Sheesh!
- Wait... So, wait, one of
us is the killer? - Yes.
Okay, but how do I...
How do I know if I'm the killer?
Blane, we need to play
the game in order.
I could be the killer.
Is that... Yes?
I just want to make it straight.
I don't want to fuck it up!
- That's the best idea I've ever heard.
- All right.
Please, god,
just play the game.
- Just play the game.
- I just want to get it right.
Let's play the game.
Melanie, partner up? Melanie?
Jules, it's really not fair
That the two geniuses
should get paired up,
- But sometimes that happens.
- Mmm.
The master bedroom doesn't
stand a chance.
Yeah, party. Nice ass.
He's gonna try
to have sex with my sister.
They're gonna ruin
Bernie's bed.
That's so gross.
Hmm.
- Well...
- If I was gonna be a killer,
I'd definitely
be thinking about sex.
Really? Me too!
Mm-Hmm.
- That's so weird.
- Yeah.
Too bad you're packing meat.
Psych, motherfucker!
Really, I'd think about
where to stash the body.
Ah.
Oh.
Did you get my texts?
Oh, I got your texts.
Very cute.
I was at the studio.
Figured you'd be here,
right?
And look,
there you are.
I'm not always
gonna be here.
Play the game.
You are beautiful.
Amazing.
Look, I owe you
an apology.
Trust me.
Yo, Jules, yo,
check this out.
Huh?
It's everybody.
Aw, cute!
God, that must've
taken her a long time.
Now I feel bad
for talking all that shit.
Hmm.
Bernie's all right.
Yeah.
Mmm.
Oh.
Gnarly.
Found it!
So...
you sure you're okay?
Yeah, dude.
You and Mel keep asking me.
Because the last 10 times
I talked to you,
You were having
a nervous breakdown.
I was really drunk.
For three weeks straight?
Kinda.
Thanks for being here.
I'm fine.
No sweat.
Now, if I were
a killer, I'd...
Go straight
for the knives. Got it.
- Oh, yuck!
- Ew.
Found it!
Bernie, you are
one sick puppy.
Wow, that's sick.
- Teeth?
- Yup.
What the hell is that?
That's nasty.
Back to the game.
Whoa, you all right, Jules?
Jules, you all right?
Yeah, I'm just...
I'm starting to feel my buzz.
Ooh.
Yo, you got any more of
that chocolate? Give me some.
You know, that shroom ball
you had in the limo?
Just give me... Give me...
Just give me some real quick.
- Come on.
- Please.
- Please, punk, please. Come on.
- Please!
I'm your partner.
Share.
Please.
But only take half.
All right.
Huh?
Wait, how much did you take?
You take more?
Sucker.
- Ow!
- Come on.
Got it, Bernie!
We found two.
Well done.
Tacky earring...
That bitch deserves it. Ahh!
Really must
say, fellas, this one's a Doozy!
- Gross!
- Oh!
- Oh!
- Gross.
This fuckin' tastes like shit.
Okay, now everyone gets
a personal clue.
They're right
under your chairs.
Ooh, a present!
- What is it? Hmm.
- You show me yours first.
What am I,
a fuckin' magician?
Boiled rabbit!
I don't get it.
Okay, it's that movie where
that guy cheats on his wife
And then that... That crazy
bitch, like, stalks him.
- It's a classic.
- You've seen that movie.
We've watched that movie
like 30 times.
I don't know.
It's cute.
# there's a place in France
where the naked ladies dance #
# there's a hole in the wall
where the men can see it all. #
- Mmm. Gay pride.
- Oh, I think this one should be for Jules.
- Yeah.
- Ooh, ahh!
Yeah, by all means.
Oh! Um...
uh, "see no evil."
No shit, Sherlock.
Uh-Huh.
Uh, Chinese finger trap.
You know, like,
two guys, one girl.
You know, like...
- ooh!
- A black box!
"What's in the box?!"
It went straight
for my face.
Hmm.
Ooh, a remote.
Are you gonna turn us on?
- Hey.
- Whoa whoa whoa.
Get up.
The
party... Here's the party.
Jeez, are you
okay? Are you okay, sis?
Fine, I'm fine.
I'm okay.
I just couldn't move
for a second. I'm okay.
Jeez, Jules, I knew you
were mixing too much stuff.
Lighten up, party.
- Oh my god.
- You all right, Adam?
- I feel fucked up.
- Ow. I can't...
you guys all right?
- I can't feel my legs.
- Me neither.
What'd you put in the punch,
Bernadette?
This part of the game
or what?
Are you all right?
- Bernie, are you okay?
- Call 911.
Guys, don't freak out.
We don't need to call 911.
It's just part of the...
The party.
- Jesus!
- Fuck, he's on the floor!
Somebody tell me what the fuck
is going on here!
- Dude, are you all right?
- We're okay, we're okay.
Get me up.
Get me the fuck up.
Wait, wait,
can... Can't anyone get up?
- No! No!
- What... What...
How'd you get those pineapples
to sit so still?
- She's fucking tripping, all right?
- No shit, man.
- What?
- 'Cause she took mushrooms, all right?
- Dude, stand up.
- I can't!
Well, she took mushrooms in the limo and
then more when we were in the bedroom.
I took some too.
Jules, do you
still see the pineapples?
Yeah, they're right there.
Can you get up and go get me
one of those pineapples?
They'll knock themselves
down eventually.
I just gotta get
a good angle on them.
Okay, so no one...
No one can get up?
- Clearly no.
- Sara, can you get up?
I can't get up.
What the fuck?
No one asked me
if I could move.
What's going on?
What the hell is going on?
Okay, relax, everyone.
This is part of the game.
It's gonna be fun.
What the hell
is going on?
Now you will notice
that you can't move your body
From the waist down.
I'm scared.
We're gonna be fine. It's
fine, just part of the game.
- So we're just fine.
- Yeah, it'll be okay. It'll wear off.
Well, the more you
drank, the longer that'll take.
Bernadette, what the fuck?!
What did you do?
You'll see.
Marcus, you were supposed
to stay in your chair.
Oh, my bad.
Go fuck yourself.
- This isn't funny.
- I think it's hilarious.
- Bernadette, that's enough.
- It's not cool.
- Bernadette, what the hell did you do?
- This is a fun game.
No, it's not.
You are fucking psychotic!
Where the fuck
you going?
Where are you going,
Bernadette?
Get up. Please get up, please get up.
- Get up.
- Can you see her? Melanie...
oh my god! Oh my god, no!
- Why would you do that?
- He needed more.
What the fuck is
wrong with you?
No, please.
Fuck you, Bernadette.
You fucking crazy whore!
You fucking bitch!
Bernadette, Bernadette,
please.
I will put it in his heart
if you don't shut the fuck up!
I'm sorry.
- Cool.
- No, it's not cool.
You know, I've got access
to all kinds of drugs
Much more fun
than your street shit.
Okay, hold hold hold...
Time out.
- Fuckin' shit.
- I can't talk and move him at the same time.
- Don't move him.
- Be right back.
- Fuckin' kill you, Bernadette.
- Had to get out of your chair!
Not going to plan,
fuckin' Bernadette, huh?
Don't antagonize her,
Marcus.
- God.
- No, please. Please shh!
Fuckin' psychotic bitch.
Fuck you!
For the love of god.
Fuck you.
Baby, are you okay?
Pay attention, puppies.
Are you ready to play?
Jules.
Come and play
with us forever and ever and ever.
Jules! Your little mushrooms
weren't part of the plan,
But I guess
we'll just have to make do.
You all agree
to behave?
Let's go
over a couple of rules.
Watch your words tonight
Because while you may normally
do things without thinking,
You're accountable
for everything you say.
Everyone gets to ask me
one question... One...
So choose wisely.
When it comes to decisions,
it's minority rule.
Therefore,
when I ask for a vote,
All I need is one.
Jules, you all right?
You have to focus,
Jules.
You're ruining
audience participation.
You are
an ugly stinky cunt.
Wait.
What? You only like it
when the girl doesn't?
I know you've got some.
Finders keepers.
That's right, gang.
Adam's working
the 13th step... Relapse.
Adam, how could you?
Quality stuff too.
Right, Jules?
It's so easy to fall off the wagon
when your sister pulls you off.
Now take a deep breath.
Oh, no, she can handle it. We
don't call her "party" for nothing.
She can't breathe.
You're all the best
of friends, right?
You've known each other for a long
time, been through a lot together?
Over the last year, I've
gotten to know you pretty well.
I'd say we're all
really good friends.
That's what just
doesn't make any sense.
Never does.
Jules, look at me.
- Are you okay?
- What are we gonna do?
Relax. Everything's
going to be okay.
- Everyone just stay cool.
- Now now!
Share with the group.
There will be no more secrets.
Jules, just keep breathing.
You sick bitch.
What did you just say?
I said,
"you sick bitch"!
Now you wanna be
a tough girl, huh?
Yeah?
You'll see.
I'm just here to help
all of you come clean.
Who a person is
behind closed doors
Is who
they really are.
Are you all ready
to see yourselves in action?
I guess
the bigger question is,
Are you ready to see
your best friends
Behind closed doors?
Hidden cameras?
You've been spying on us?
I wouldn't call it spying.
You're fucking sick.
By the time we're done,
You're going to realize I'm
the most honest person here.
I doubt that.
If you're not willing
to do things out in the open
In the presence of friends, then you
probably shouldn't be doing them, right?
You can't say
you're so fucking honest
If you've been watching us
without us knowing.
My house, my rules. If you had
asked, I would have told you.
I didn't think I had to ask my
friend if she was spying on me.
I'd say
from what I discovered
You always have to ask
if you're being watched.
Don't move.
Wait. Lily.
Yes, lily.
- Where is she?
- What did you do to her?
One question at a time.
Where is she
or what have I done to her?
Where is she?!
My question would have answered
that, but fine... Where is she?
- Oh my god.
- Oh, no,
I haven't killed her,
if that's what you're thinking.
No no no, and have her miss
my going-Away party?
Mmm, where is lily?
This is where the game
really gets going.
For every question
I answer,
You have to
give me something.
We'll keep the first one
really simple.
In return for my answer,
I get to give you a haircut.
What?
A haircut?
Remember? Group vote?
Minority rule?
As the hostess,
I must refrain from voting.
Where the fuck is lily?
No, Marcus,
that's Sara's question.
- You'll have to ask something else.
- Go fuck yourself.
So...
- do it.
- Screw you, Blane!
It's just a haircut, Sara.
It's gonna grow back.
It only takes one vote
and there it is.
Fuck you!
You fucking dick!
Lily's upstairs.
I'm sorry.
Let's just check in
on old Lil.
Lily.
Oh god.
We... We... We have to kill her.
Bon apptit.
Oh!
- Oh, gross.
- Oh god.
What is this?
Oh! We have
our next question.
Meet your meat, Blane.
What will you give me
in return?
That was, uh...
just rhetorical.
Wow.
That's a big word
for you, Blane.
Too bad you don't
actually know what it means.
See, a rhetorical question
doesn't require an answer
Because the answer
is obvious.
Here, I'll give you
an example
Of a rhetorical question...
Are you stupid?
I meant hypothetical.
This is why I went over
the rules at the beginning.
You get one question.
That's not the question
that I was asking, Bernadette.
Oh, but you already asked it.
But it's not the question
that I meant to ask.
I've always thought your
eyebrows could use some taming.
- Do it.
- What?
Serves you right
for voting against Sara.
Finally!
Someone gets it.
We have one vote.
Oh, Bernadette, when...
When you said earlier
about... About the haircut,
You said "haircut."
You didn't say "scalping."
You said "haircut"!
I didn't understand that
that was the question
- That I was...
- Jules, take it back now!
No no, Melanie,
there's no taking it back.
I warned you
to watch your words.
Sit still, Blane.
I don't want to take
an eye out by accident.
No no no!
Ahh!
So the answer
to your question is
That meat's just some sick bastard
who touched this little girl
One too many times.
I'm sorry, Sara.
Adam.
You spoiled your dinner.
That was just going
to annoy me all night.
On with the game.
Crap.
- Is that the limo driver?
Oh! Hey.
- Hi.
- You look beautiful.
You've having a party, huh?
Party's dying down, actually.
Help!
Sounds like it's going pretty good.
What can I do for you?
Help!
I used to be
quite a dancer.
What can I do for you?
Somebody left their phone
in my limo.
- I brought it back for you.
- Oh, great, thank you so much
For bringing this back.
Have a great night.
Uh, excuse me, could...
Before I leave,
Could I use your bathroom?
- Uh...
Uh...
Help! Help!
Oh!
What are you doing?
We're fucked. We're
fucked. We're fucked.
She's gonna
fucking kill us.
Fuck.
Do you see what
you just made me do?
Idiots.
Marcus, you ready?
Jules!
Jules!
You're about
to make your debut.
You too, Sara.
Pay attention.
Well, so you all remember
labor day weekend.
#...and bones collide, oh!
# love, waking up the dead
# and moving the listless
# my arms,
limbs come alive #
# like they were vestiges
# of a dying language
that we accepted #
# forfeit
before you both were born #
# now what has
turned up missing #
# and what the dead
took with it #
# no one here really knows
how bad for sure #
# we simply
didn't see the need #
# and there was no connection,
all agreed? #
Let's go
to the split screen.
Don't want
to miss anything.
Hmm. Marcus.
# welcome to the dance
# it's a fragile sway
# back and forth together,
now separate... #
They didn't know
you were there. Did they?
# no one here among us
can know for sure #
# we simply didn't
see the need #
# and there was
no connection, all agreed? #
# but don't worry
your mind so #
# this has got nothing
to do with... #
# there's a place in France
# where the naked ladies
dance... #
# but don't worry
your mind so... #
Stop it, Bernie.
New rule.
Anyone here says "stop" and
you automatically lose a finger.
No vote required.
No! No!
- Oh god!
- Fuck!
You might want to put
some pressure on that.
Let's see how it ends.
Yeah, right there.
Ah.
You're gonna make me come.
Stop it, Bernie.
I fucking warned you.
- No no, not again!
- No!
Bernadette!
Fuck you, Bernie.
Fuck you.
I'm gonna
fucking kill you.
Pressure.
This isn't happening.
This isn't happening.
Any requests?
We've already taken off
two fingers.
Perhaps an ear?
Maybe his eyes?
Yeah?
Jules.
Huh?
Do you want me
to punish Marcus?
He watched.
So what?
He got off,
just like you.
I did not get off
to anything I've seen.
Let's be clear about that.
Hmm.
Psychologically,
he has to give something up
In order to feel
like he's paid for his crime.
- You'll be helping him.
- We are not going to have you cutting people up
For something that they did
in the heat of the moment.
Yeah, so what?
We're just
getting started, Sara.
My bad.
We never addressed
Melanie's question.
What was it?
What have I done to lily?
Hmm.
Fuck.
- So answer it.
- Shut up, Sara!
Sara's right.
I have to answer you,
And you have to
give me something.
What are you
gonna... Never mind.
Shut the hell up, Adam!
I haven't decided yet.
I don't care
about the answer, okay?
- I don't care.
- You don't care about what's happened
To one of your best friends?
No! I don't give a fuck
what you did to her,
Just please please please please
please don't do anything to me, please!
Shocker.
No.
- Don't.
- Too bad.
You knew the rules.
Fuck me!
Fuck! Oh, no no no no!
Oh, fuck!
We do need one vote first.
- Nobody say anything.
- Nice try.
We won't have
a stalemate.
I'll just keep chopping off Marcus's
fingers until one of you pipes up.
Can I take Melanie's place?
- You want to take her place?
- Yes.
Do whatever you were
gonna do to her to me instead.
That's friendship.
I'm not gonna sit here
And watch you
cut up Marcus.
And I'm not gonna vote for
you to do anything to Melanie.
So if it has to be done,
Fine, I'll take it.
I've always
liked you best, Sara.
You've got some character.
Just for that...
I'll let you pick
which hand.
Don't play, Sara.
You're not even
gonna protest this?
Look at me, Sara.
Don't look at her.
There you go.
You're gonna be fine.
Everything's going
to be okay.
This isn't even the worst thing
that's happened to you today.
You know, you've got
my puke all over you.
Jules, tell her!
Tell her she's gonna be okay.
- Keep looking at me.
- Ah ah ah ah!
Lily came to me
because she needed an abortion.
But you're a psychologist.
I didn't give her
the abortion, you imbecile.
I took her
to get it done.
- Of course she had to choose today.
- But she's bleeding.
Well, if
you would let me finish...
It's actually
what I didn't do to lily.
She was bleeding out
and needed medical attention.
I just did what people
do all the time.
Nothing.
Moving on.
Well, Blane?
Blane.
What?
Yeah, Blane... What?
Fuck you, you crazy bitch.
That's what.
Okay.
If you insist,
I'll go straight into it
Without any intro.
- Are you drunk?
- Yeah.
- What are you doing?
- I don't know. I just wanted to see.
Yeah?
You look good.
Really good.
What are...
What are you doing?
I don't know.
What am I doing?
What?
Last Christmas, Blane and I
were still together.
He ended up cheating on you
with some 20-Year-Old.
So that makes it okay?
Fuck you, Melanie!
Mmm.
Don't mind me.
You knew?
Ooh ooh.
Come here.
Shh.
This button has wanted
to come off for a while now.
Mm-Hmm.
Oh. Yeah.
Ah, you like that?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
What?!
We all know
how you like to watch.
Oh god. Oh.
Oh my god.
Oh, yeah.
Oh god, yeah.
I was hoping we'd see Blane
do some guy-On-Guy.
- Fuck me.
- Would have been more dramatic.
But, alas, no.
Oh god.
Say it.
Say, "fuck me."
Say it.
Say it.
Turn it off!
- Yeah, fuck me.
- Turn it the fuck off!
Oh, wait.
I'm gonna come.
You want me to come?
- Yes, come on my tits.
- Do you want me to come?
- Yeah.
- Say it. Say it.
Yes. Fuck.
Sharing is caring.
Jules.
What do you think
about all this?
Nothin'.
Nothing?
Nothing.
All you're doing is showing a
bunch of friends fooling around.
So what?
We all cheat a little,
Tell a little lie
here and there.
It doesn't make anything
you're doing justified.
There's no such thing
as a little lie, Jules.
Just like there's no such thing
as being a little pregnant.
Sara, what do you think?
It's disappointing,
isn't it?
Oh, Melanie, was it just the
once or did it happen again?
Things like this
usually happen again.
Answer her.
I'm pretty sure
you've got your answer.
You want to write things off
like you just got carried away
In the heat of the moment?
Guess what?
Each of those moments
strung together
Is a lifetime.
Is there anything
you want me to do, Sara?
Don't.
She's trying to get you
to do something terrible.
Don't let her manipulate you
into doing anything more.
I can't believe
this is happening.
I loved you.
I would have done
anything for you.
What the fuck did I do
to deserve any of this?
Come off it, Sara.
Don't act like you've
never done anything wrong.
Do tell.
You've been stalking him,
Logging into his emails.
What the fuck are
you talking about?
Don't act like
you're all holier than thou.
How long you been
going through my shit, Sara?
What the fuck is
she talking about?
Maybe as long as you've been
fucking my best friend.
Enough, all right?
Everybody keep
their fucking mouths shut.
Hey, Marcus, you're so perfect,
why don't you tell everybody
What you
got arrested for, huh?
Did you not fucking understand
me? Keep you fucking mouth shut!
Wait wait wait!
It wasn't
for beating up that guy
Who was harassing
Blane's sister?
No, it was getting for fucking
a parking ticket, all right?
I got a boot on my car
and I went to fucking jail.
Now end the fucking game!
That is so lame.
What is the endgame,
Bernadette?
We're getting there.
- Adam.
- Bernie.
First of all, I've told
you guys 100 times...
I don't like
being called Bernie.
My name
is Bernadette.
Secondly, you should be
thanking me, you coward.
I'm giving you
a chance to come clean.
Don't worry, Adam.
You're among friends.
This is a movie.
Bernadette.
Please don't.
Oh, fuck.
- I almost threw up.
- Almost or did?
But I didn't throw up.
I'm feeling really...
Very happy.
- Good good.
- Mmm!
Let's go have a pizza.
- Pizza?
- Yeah, let's have some pizza.
Okay, in a minute.
I just need a little bit of...
...lily time.
Why?
- Why? Why? Why?
- Friendship.
- Why?
- Friendship.
- Friendship?
- Yeah.
You're a very good friend.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome. Okay.
- I say we go outside...
- No.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
Is this your first time
in heels?
What? No, I wear heels
all the time.
I wear heels
all the time.
- Are you okay?
- Are you okay?
I'm fine.
Stop trying to kiss me.
- I'm not trying...
- You are trying to kiss...
No, I'm not,
I'm trying to find this spot.
- Ah!
- There, I found it.
The lily spot.
I found the lily spot.
Okay, that's enough.
It's not funny.
I know.
It's a little bit.
- It's not funny now.
- It's cool.
Please get off me.
- Come on, let's go outside.
- Okay, two seconds.
Adam, what are you doing?
- Adam, st...
Adam, stop!
Adam, stop it!
- Shut the fuck up!
- God. You don't have to.
You nearly killed my fucking ear!
Calm...
Lily, calm down.
Don't act like you do not
Want me to fuck you.
Calm down.
Don't.
- You're boring the...
- Fuck out of me!
Doesn't fait shit!
I'm on set.
I'm on set.
This is a
movie. I'm on set. I'm on set.
How did my career
end up like this?
Oh, Michael Biehn.
Fantasy sequence, Jules?
- Michael, wake up, please!
- I don't fucking speak French!
Fuck you, Jules.
Okay, all right. Enough enough.
- I'm sure it's... I'm sure it's
good. - Where'd all my lines go?
Is this even a union
fucking production?
And you go really really fast
And the ship goes
away from earth.
You go at the speed
of light,
You actually
don't age as quickly.
- You stay young.
- That's right.
Would somebody get me
fucking something to drink?!
What is wrong with this girl?
Stop it!
- fuck.
- Come back here, please!
Open it for me.
I can't drink it like that.
Sorry.
Thank you.
- Please don't. I'm sorry.
- Oh, fuck.
- Don't fucking do that.
Talent's flying in. Talent's
flying in. Let's do this.
Fucking bitch!
What the fuck
is wrong with you?
Think she's
a union actress?
Oh! What the hell?!
It's called
the screen actors guild.
- Let's go.
- I can't move!
You want to
get out of my chair?
I can't move.
Can we get second team
out of chair, please?
- Somebody? A little help.
- Who the fuck is this girl?
She doesn't
even look like me.
- You gotta go.
- I can't get out of my chair.
- I can't get out of my chair!
- Get out of her fucking chair.
- Do it!
- Now!
- Fuck!
- Don't do this.
- Don't do this.
- Do you ever want to work again?
- Yes!
- Oh my god, Bernadette!
- Do you want to work again, bitch?
- Yes!
- No!
- Yes!
Bernadette, what are you doing?!
- Yes!
Oh my god! You fucking bitch!
Oh my god!
- Oh my god!
- I don't know what...
- Get out of my chair.
- This is bullshit.
- Get out of her fucking chair!
Get out! Get up!
Get out now or I'll fucking
take you out of here.
Is there craft services
around here?
Get the fucking m&ms.
Get me some m&ms!
- Bitch.
- You're out of here!
- Jesus Christ.
- Get out now.
- The girl from "Halloween"?
- Rachel?
Get out! Get her out of here!
Bitch.
Get out now or I'll fucking
take you out of here. Bye!
What fucking happened to me?!
- Get out of the chair!
Bitch!
- Out!
- Oh, for crying out loud.
- First positions!
Everybody, first positions!
All of a sudden,
everything went...
...black.
Fuck.
What happened?
Adam raped lily...
and Bernadette
cut off his balls.
What? No!
Wait, someone voted
yes on that?
You did!
No! No!
I'm... I'm sorry.
I'm not laughing.
He's laughing 'cause he's tripping, bro.
It's not funny.
Jules, are you happy?
You and your mushrooms
are ruining everything.
Game on.
Oh, okay, so we have
your brother and lily
In the bathroom.
And then, oh...
Oh, who's this?
Who's this?
Adam, what are you doing? Adam?
I didn't...
I didn't know what to do.
- I didn't know what to do.
- Well, well, do something.
Stop him!
- Adam! Adam, stop!
- Oh, or do nothing at all.
- Adam, stop it!
Has Adam ever
tried that on you, Jules?
Never.
Hmm.
I would have had a shred
of empathy if he had.
Ah. Oh god!
Oh god! Oh my god!
Oh, no!
It's gonna be all right, Adam.
- Adam, it's gonna be all right.
- What shall we do
To help Jules
make amends?
Cut her fucking
tongue out!
I guess blood
isn't so thick after all.
- Fuck you.
- I like your style, Adam.
Tongue... That is how
you castrate a lesbian.
Come back, movie,
please come back.
What, Adam.
- How could you?
- What, Sara?
Jules didn't do
anything wrong.
Bystander apathy
is an epidemic.
People standing by
while someone is assaulted
And not doing
anything about it...
it happens every day
And it makes me sick.
God, Bernadette,
you are so full of shit.
What are you doing tonight?
It's the same thing, right?
You're just making it
so we can't help our friends.
Tonight doesn't count.
All of the days
before tonight do.
Jules didn't do anything
to help lily.
- And lily...
- Lily was a victim!
Lily didn't have
to stay a victim.
She didn't have
to create more victims,
But she wasn't
going to do anything
And begged me
not to either.
You know,
there's this myth
That a rapist
is some evil stranger
Hiding in a dark alley.
Most rapes are committed
by someone the person knew...
- Someone they trusted.
Family member, even.
It usually happens
more than once.
I was supposed
to live with that?
Knowing that Adam would
probably do it again?
That's on my conscience.
That's my karma.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
your karma is fucked.
What the hell did I do
to deserve any of this?
You didn't know I was
looking at Blane's emails
Before 10 minutes ago.
What did I do,
Bernadette?
You introduced me
to these fucking people.
So you're gonna kill me?
Do you think they deserve
what they've gotten tonight?
Never in a million years.
Then you're just another victim
waiting to happen.
Shut up, Blane.
No, it's not
that black and white.
It is always and only
black or white.
Where are
the goddamn scissors?
Glad you could join us, lily.
Come on, lily.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
- I'm not gonna hurt you.
- She's fucking crazy.
I'm just gonna slice
your fucking face off.
Lily! God!
Lily!
Get her! No!
- Come on, Lil!
- Get her!
I'm sorry, Sara.
Fight back! Lily!
- Kill her!
- Come on!
- Get fucking help, you...
- You suck, lily!
- Your friends suck.
- No, they don't!
- Lily, come on!
- Come on, get her!
Now the party's over.
- Get up!
- Come on, get up!
- Ah!
- Get her! Get up!
Lily, come on!
Knock her the fuck out!
- Get off me!
- Get her now!
Go! Get her!
Fucking kill her!
Yeah, fucking choke her!
Fucking bitch!
Thank god!
Come on, get up! Come on!
- Come on, lily.
- Is she dead?
Fucking stab her.
Get the tape.
It's in the case.
- Over there. Get it.
- Over here, come on!
- Come on.
- Tie her up.
Get the tape!
Right, the tape.
- Hurry up, let's go!
- Hurry, hurry!
- Tie her up, please.
- Tie up the crazy girl on the floor.
She's crazy.
- Come on.
- Christ, come on, lily. Come on.
- Tighter, tighter.
- Get her feet! Come on, yeah!
- Tie her up.
- Come on, hurry up!
- Come on, yeah.
- Hurry.
A little faster, please! Hello?!
- Come on!
- Cut us loose, come on!
Is it secure?
- Yeah! Whoo!
- Lily, I'm gonna need you to...
- Come on, let's go!
- Get the... Get the scissors.
- Lily, I need you to do this.
It's not an option!
Hammer!
- Lily, cut us out!
- Let's go, lily!
Get the fucking hammer!
- Hurry up!
- Come on, hurry up.
- Come on!
- That's the one. Yeah!
- Yeah, that's the one!
- Yes!
- Come on.
Come on.
Please use
the other side.
- I told you, I'm not good at this.
- Other side.
Yes, fuck it, yes.
That's it.
Okay.
Ah ah!
Hurry up!
Come on, lily. You can do it.
Why did she do all of this?
Just pull it
up! Pull it up, come on!
She has this grandiose idea
about integrity
And ridding the world
of bad friends.
And she's been watching us
with cameras.
Anyway, she made us watch
movies of ourselves
Doing really shitty things.
Like Marcus spying
on Jules eating Sara out
And jerking off to it.
And Melanie fucking Blane...
and Adam at the same time.
I didn't fuck Adam.
And Adam raping you!
Why didn't you
say anything?
Yeah, Lil,
why didn't you tell me?
You needed an abortion?
Side note...
You went to Bernadette?
We've been friends
for a really fucking long time.
- That's fucked up.
- Are we really talking about this right now?
- Yes.
- I'm just saying.
I didn't want anyone
to know, okay?
And I just figured
Bernie could keep it a secret,
Because she does that
with her patients.
I'm sorry, Lil.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know what to do.
I'm sorry.
Jules.
Wait, what...
What do you mean?
What does she mean?!
Jules heard Adam while he
was in the bathroom with you
And she didn't know
what to do, so she left.
You knew
he was raping me...
and you didn't
do anything?
Okay.
Okay.
Who else knew?!
Nobody knew, okay, lily?
Nobody knew.
We found out tonight.
Just cut... Just cut us free.
I'm...
I'm sorry.
Sorry?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry too.
And you're sorry?
Who are you people?
"Sorry" is for things
Like bumping into someone
- Or breaking a glass...
- Lily!
...or being late
for a fucking appointment!
Come on, lily,
don't do this right now, okay?
You deserve that.
Adam didn't deserve that.
- He doesn't?
- No.
What does he deserve?
Nothing?
Because the truth is
he wasn't sorry
Until he got caught.
He wasn't sorry
While he was
forcing himself onto me.
He wasn't sorry,
uh, yesterday.
- He wasn't sorry...
- We don't know that.
Are you defending him?
No! I'm just saying...
You're just saying
that it's okay?!
No, please!
We need help, lily.
You know what?
I was gonna tell you.
I just didn't think
that you would believe me.
I... I knew you
wouldn't believe me, Sara.
Lily?
Cut us loose.
Please.
Yeah.
Bernadette...
She-She-She...
She is right.
You suck.
And you suck!
You all suck.
Lily?
Fuck.
Lily?
- Lily? Lily?
- Lily!
Lily! Lily! Lily!
Lily!
Lily! Lily!
Fuck!
# oversensitive,
everything remains relative #
# conservative relationships,
acting out like a sedative #
# over and under
the influence of barbiturates #
# deep dead, damn, I feel sorry
for college graduates #
# it blows my mind
# every single time
# now you're all dead
# and think
you've got an edge #
# while we swim
# for someone else's breath
# I will lay in my bed
# I'll get my own instead
# everybody's fucking
with my mind #
# everybody's
fucking with my mind #
# everybody's fucking
with my mind #
# everybody's
fucking with my mind #
# hey!
# can I
# go now?
# leave me alone now...
# can I get away?
# must stay
# I used
to be invisible #
# I used to
hold my own... #
- What can I get for you?
- Double whiskey, rocks.
Sure.
# I've fallen in love
# first a virtuoso
# now a beast so cold
# broken down,
I'm at your #
# mercy
- # at some point you took away... #
# you took away
# my power
# boy, you force me,
you force me... #
- Hello?
- Hey, girl!
I just got
the invitation.
So fun!
Murder-Mystery party!
I love it!
And I love the theme.
Oh my god, you are
a fucking crazy bitch.
Oh, invite Stacy. I'd love to see her
fat ass squeeze into a flapper dress.
Just invite
some hot guys for me.
That's all I care about.
Hello?
Are you there?
Hello?
Fucking phone.
Am I talking to myself?
# from the seas
# to the serpentine
# from the bees
# to your knees
# from the trees
# in the sunshine
- # it doesn't even matter...
# 'cause you never really
get very far... #
- # from the seas...
- # sat at the bar with a skull mask on #
# sipped iced tea
to my favorite song #
# went for a walk
# saw a bride and groom
in the park #
# mashed potatoes,
uncle Sam #
# apple pie,
honey-Baked ham #
# it doesn't even matter, 'cause
you never really get very far #
- # from the seas...
- # sat at the bar with a skull mask on #
# sipped iced tea
to my favorite song #
# went for a walk
# saw a bride and groom
in the park #
# corn chips,
dapper Dan #
# gumdrops,
tasty lamb #
# it doesn't even matter, 'cause
you never really get very far. #
# Sadie is crazy
# she likes
to lick the ladies #
# and cocoa
bites my toes #
# and Lola loves the window
# but they don't
get along... #