Jesus Christ! Look at this.
My sneaker's ruined!
- They're only $35.
- Fucking city's turned into
one big pile of dog shit!
Come on out and take a crap on me!
Everybody else is! Fuck.
- Give it back to the poodles.
- What's the point of jogging
for two and a half miles?
Giving yourself lung cancer.
Tell you somethin', Erica.
The longer I'm married to you...
the more you sound like my mother.
Clean your own sneaker.
- You wanted me to step in it.
- You're going crazy, Martin.
- Yeah?
- Yes.
Why would I want you to step in dog shit?
Well, that's a good question.
- Oh, God.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm not your mother.
- You know.
- Yeah.
Listen, do you think we got time
for a little quickie?
I got about 11 minutes.
Hey, come on!
Gimme a break here.
I'm gettin' frostbite.
Jesus, I got to quit smoking.
- I saw Jacobs on Tuesday. Did I tell you?
- Uh-uh.
Yeah, I went in
for my annual physical.
How are you?
Fine.
You sound surprised.
Well, you know,
I go up there for the damn thing...
and my blood pressure goes up 20 points
from the anxiety of having to take the exam.
- What are you doing today?
- Working at the gallery.
Oh, yeah.
Goin'to school.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi.
Hmm.
Did the earth move?
Bye.
I'm telling you,
we expose that kid to too much.
- Well, we still lock the door.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Have a good time. See you tonight.
- Mm-hmm.
"Tonight, the ballet worid
was introduced...
"to a brilliant new talent
"the long-awaited debut
of Erica Benton.
"Miss Benton astounded
the ballet worid last night...
in her incredible
performance of Swan Lake. "
"Her pas de deux
were breathtaking."
- Hello.
- Hi.
There she is.
- Hi.
- Hi. How are you?
- You look great.
- Oh, I'm sorry I'm late.
You're just in time for some big news.
- Well.
- Oh, hi. Uhhh.
- Wine.
- Let's have a glass another carafe. Okay?
- Yeah. And, uh...
- Anything else?
- Steamer Vic.
- Refills for everybody.
- Are you ready?
- You're in love.
Would that I were.
It's not my news.
- Sue.
- The only thing that happened
to me last week was...
my elevator man
got arrested for flashing.
- What is it, Jeannette?
- I met a man.
Well, that's terrific!
- Well, there's a little problem.
- He's married.
No.
- He's very young.
- You're not close.
- How young?
- He's 19.
- Oh, Jesus.
- I know. I know.
- He's very mature.
- Nineteen?
The problem is: Does she fuck him,
or does she adopt him?
I'm a terrible person. I'm drunk,
and I'm giddy, and I'm going to the loo.
- Sorry, Jeannette.
- It's okay.
I think Elaine's
going through early menopause.
It is so ironic. I've dated so many men...
in the last few years
that were my age or older...
and Steven his name is Steven
is the first man that I've really liked...
- since my divorce.
- Well, what's he like?
He's calm, quiet.
He doesn't come on.
He's very bright.
He's not afraid to be tender.
Well, if you were a man and you
were talking about a 19-year-old girl...
then there would be
no problem, would there?
No, I worry about Teddy.
I mean, how do you tell a six-year-old child
his new daddy is a teenager?
- Where does he live now?
- With his parents.
Maybe I should adopt him.
Did I miss anything?
No.
It's just that last night was so incredible.
I put Teddy to bed,
and Steven came over.
We just sat and talked
all night long.
- I mean, till 7:00 this morning.
- What did you talk about?
We talked a lot about loneliness.
- Got kind of emotional.
- Then?
- Promise you won't laugh?
- I promise.
Well, then he undressed me,
and he gave me a massage.
And it was the most incredible
experience I think I've ever had in my life.
- I'll bet.
- Was it sexual?
That's it. It was and it wasn't.
I mean,
he massaged my feet and my toes...
and he massaged my fingers.
He massaged my eyes.
He actually massaged my eyes.
And then I had an orgasm.
And then another
and then another.
I'd say it was sexual.
There ain't nothin' wrong with a good,
old-fashioned eyeball orgasm.
Oh, I love them. I mean,
I couldn't live without them.
- Have you read the latest book?
- No, I didn't.
- You think I'm going crazy.
- Crazy? What's this boy's phone number?
- Don't be offended, okay?
- No. What? What?
- Is he being honest with you?
- That's pretty naive, Erica.
- No, it isn't.
- No, it's not.
There's no such thing
as total honesty...
not with men.
They're all wrapped up in sexual ego.
- What the hell is sexual ego, Elaine?
- Never getting enough.
Always on the make.
Constantly worried about performing.
That's ridiculous. I know lots of men who
are interested in other things besides sex.
- Name one.
- My husband.
Harold hasn't made a pass in six months.
Well, listen, Elaine. Don't you think
you're taking this thing a little too far?
Me? No.
- I think you're getting to be a man-hater.
- I love men!
We're talking about their honesty.
- Do you think Martin is totally honest?
- I don't think about it.
I think Erica has the second-best man
in the five boroughs.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome, I'm sure.
I think what I'm gonna do is just go along
with things the way they are...
- and just see what happens.
- Have fun, honey.
The worst that can happen
is that it'll end.
No, I think the worst that could happen
is that his parents will find out.
You're fabulous.
- I love you.
- Swiftly moving on.
Patti?
Hello?
Hi.
- Giris had a long meeting tonight, huh?
- They're not meetings.
- What's on the news?
- Nothin'.
They're shootin' up Rhodesia,
and, uh, the garbagemen are
raisin' hell again. You know.
Jeannette is having an affair
with a 19-year-old boy.
Oh, shit. She's flipped.
Men go out with younger women
all the time.
Nineteen is four years
older than Patti.
Yeah, where is Patti?
She went to the movies with Phil.
- I like Phil.
- Well, maybe Phil should meetJeannette.
- Martin.
- How are Elaine and Sue?
- Fine.
- Elaine makes me very nervous.
- She likes you.
- Yeah.
I like her all right.
She just comes on too strong.
So do you sometimes.
Sometimes I get the feeling that you
prefer Elaine and Sue and Jeannette to me.
That's ridiculous, Martin.
- Do you?
- Sometimes.
Look, Martin. Patti's coming home.
I have to get up early.
Martin, I'm not in the mood.
You give me a headache.
- Take an aspirin.
- Shit.
Anybody home?
We're in here, honey.
What's goin' on in there?
Want me to go out
and come in again?
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- How was the movie?
- Good. We saw the new Lina Wertmller film.
- Yeah? Did you like it?
- I loved it.
But Phil thought it was flawed.
How old is Phil again?
You know how old he is. Why?
Well, your mother's friend Jeannette
is having an affair with a 19-year-old guy.
- Good for her.
- Yeah?
- Would Phil go out with Jeannette?
- I don't know.
You'd have to ask Phil.
Don't say anything
aboutJeannette.
Who am I gonna tell?
- You and Daddy fighting?
- No, it's not a fight.
- Daddy doesn't look too happy.
- Mmm!
- Good night.
- Good night.
Jesus.
You're acting like a five-year-old kid.
- I know. I know.
- It's wonderful when you're
in the mood and I'm in mood.
But, God!
It's not much fun when you
make me feel like it's an obligation.
I know. You're right. I'm sorry.
Besides, we had sex this morning.
What do you want?
Guess I'm not much fun
to live with, am I?
Are you okay?
- I don't know.
- What is it?
I don't know. I just...
find myself
I just I'm anxious all the time, you know.
About what?
I just I'm fantasizing and
- About what?
- Uhh.
About changing my life.
Quit Wall Street, go be
a disc jockey somewhere. I don't know.
- Tired of your job?
- I'll tell you something.
I've been the takeover type all my life.
I mean, in school, in the navy...
probably with you,
certainly with Patti.
- There's nothing wrong
with being a strong man.
- That's the point.
- I'm not a strong man.
I don't feel like a strong man.
- You are!
Well, I feel tired.
I don't know what to say.
You should see a psychiatrist.
Really.
I- I don't think so.
Is it me? Are you tired of me?
I love you.
Aww.
I'd hate to join the crowd.
Why? What do you mean?
Oh, Elaine's boozing a lot.
Jeannette's crazy.
Sue's okay. She's a strong woman.
- God.
- Well, so are you.
I'm beginning to wonder about me.
Oh, it's so nice
to have a man to come home to.
- Is that just luck?
- Yeah.
It's luck and a fabulous body.
Jesus. Here, three kids in the sixth grade
beat their teacher up.
Where?
The Bronx.
- You never have any trouble
in school, do you?
- No.
It's a jungle.
It is! They got guys carrying guns.
Oh, you read too much.
- I what?
- It doesn't really happen that way.
Well, it doesn't happen where
you go to school, because we
got you in a pretty good school.
- It's costing me a lot of money.
- Oh, I'll go to public school.
- Okay. You're on.
- Okay.
- You think that's funny?
- We'll buy you a gun,
send you to public school.
- I'm sorry.
I'm getting tickets to the ballet
a week from Friday. Do you want to go?
- I don't know. Let me ask Phil.
- Phil can come with us.
Only if he pays.
- I don't think Phil likes ballet.
- I don't either. I'm goin'.
Good for your soul.
No. I think I'll pass, Mom.
- Listen, am I a nagging father?
- No.
You're just feeling
the loss of separation.
I'm not your little girl anymore.
Wash your mouth with soap!
- Hey, no physical contact, please!
- Got to go.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Bye.
Do you think Daddy's
worried about getting old?
- Are you taking a psych course this year?
- Mm-hmm.
He's always joking. Never seems
to take anything seriously, you know.
You mean, he doesn't take Phil seriously,
and that bothers you.
No, it doesn't.
I don't take Phil that seriously either.
Oh, I think
you're serious about Phil.
Mom, I'm still a virgin,
if that's what you meant.
It's not what I meant.
But I'm glad you told me.
- I just meant that you like Phil.
- I like Phil.
I'm not gonna marry him.
I'm never getting married.
- You will.
- Don't be so sure.
- Why not?
- Why should I?
Everybody I know who's married
is either miserable or divorced.
- I don't want that.
- Oh, Patti. That's ridiculous!
- There's a lot of happily married couples.
- Name three.
- Uhh.
- Uh.
- I'll have to think about it.
- Yeah.
See you later.
383 West Broadway, please.
Now, if all this stuff
wasn't done by a woman...
I don't think you could sit
in the same room with it.
It isn't "stuff," Charlie.
It happens to be art.
You're a classic
male chauvinist pig.
I know, but I'm cute.
- You're out of style, Charlie.
- Want a bite?
Uh-uh.
You're a beautiful woman, Erica.
- But you're leading such a sheltered life.
- How can you tell?
It's in your eyes. You can tell
everything in a woman's eyes.
Oh. Can you tell
everything in a man's eyes?
Men cover it up.
Women lay it all on the line.
Right there in the old eyes.
What do you see
in my eyes, Charlie?
- Want me to be honest?
- Yeah.
You're not gettin' enough.
I think you ought to have
your eyes examined.
Oh, no.
No, you're not really satisfied.
I mean, your old man's
okay and all that, but, uh...
underneath it all
you're frustrated.
Go paint a still life, Charlie.
- You ever had an affair?
- It's none of your business.
Oh, man.
What a shame. What a waste!
A woman as beautiful as you should
be tasting a little variety in life.
Imagine if all you ever ate was apples?
Imagine never tasting
a peach or a pear? Apapaya?
Huh? No way, babe.
Same thing with sex.
I'm allergic to papayas, Charlie.
How about a nice, fresh guava? Huh?
- Huh?
- Leave me alone.
- Don't you ever think about
anything else, Charlie?
- Yeah, like what?
Ohh, there's
literature and ballet...
- and theater and dance...
- Hey, hey, hey, Erica.
- And architecture
- Erica. Hey, listen.
There's work, there's food,
and there's sex.
That's the whole ball game.
Rowan Gallery.
Yeah. Sure.
Yeah. I'll meet you.
Um, 15 minutes.
Okay, honey. Bye.
Might I inquire
as to who "honey" is?
My husband.
I'm meeting him for lunch.
Well...
- think I'll hit the streets for awhile.
- Bye, Charlie.
- Hi.
- Is this together?
Uh, yeah, he's paying for me.
That'll be $3.95.
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
Excuse me.
Mmm, I wanted to talk to you
about something.
I think that if we're gonna go
to the island this summer...
that we really ought
to get on it right away.
How would you feel about sharing a place
with Sue and Harold?
- How's the market?
- Huh?
Just wanted to see if you
were paying any attention to me.
- You want to share a place
with Sue and Harold.
- Think you could handle it?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Well, I'll talk to Sue, and maybe the four
of us could drive out in a couple of weeks.
We really should get on it right away.
Jesus, it's gonna be even
more expensive this year.
You know, if we do take a place...
we're gonna have to have
my club up there.
I could just see us,
all lying in the sun, blabbing away.
I mean, we would
We talk. We really do.
I love our meetings.
They're so I don't know.
I just love them.
It's sort of like
a continuing story, you know.
It's part Mary Hartman
and part Ingmar Bergman.
L I love the women.
Marty. Marty. Come on.
What is it, honey?
What's the matter?
What is it?
- ThWhat? Tell me!
- I'm in love with somebody else.
I've been seeing another woman...
for over a year.
And at first, you know,
I thought it was just aa fling.
But it isn't. I love her.
I want to live with her.
Oh, God. I don't want to hurt you.
I don't want to hurt Patti.
But l
I can't
You don't know her or anything.
Her name is Marcia Brenner.
She's a She's a teacher.
She's, uh, 26.
I met her I met her
at Bloomingdale's, for Christ's sake.
I was standing there
buying a shirt, you know.
And she, uh
She was standing next to me.
She asked me, uh...
if I liked the shirt that, uh,
she was buying for her father.
Oh, God.
I'm so sorry.
You tell Patti
You tell Patti that you're sorry.
I'm in love with her.
Ohhh.
- She a good lay?
- Oh, she
The first thing we have to do
is get you a good lawyer.
I just can't believe it.
I really liked Martin.
- This is not a time to pity Martin.
- I am not pitying Martin.
Move fast, Erica.
Don't let the thing drag on.
That's what I did.
It just hurts more and more.
- Get it over with.
- I don't agree with you.
There's nothing to talk about.
The son of a bitch walked out
on a magnificent woman.
The son of a bitch may walk
right back in in a month or two.
It sounds to me
like this thing's just sexual.
Would you take Harold back
if he told you he was having an affair?
Oh, hon, Harold has affairs.
He doesn't tell me about 'em.
I don't give a damn,
as long as we respect each other.
That's kind of
a weird contradiction, isn't it?
- My marriage isn't based on a king-sized bed.
- Neither was mine.
I know it wasn't.
There was a lot of love there.
That's why I'd hate to see it wasted
if there's any hope.
- There's no hope.
- You want him back?
Would you take that
miserable bastard back?
No.
- I don't think so.
- "Think"? You have doubts?
- Of course, she has doubts.
- Look, all I know is...
I feel completely and totally alone.
- That'll pass.
- Not if she sits on it, it won't.
Depression has a way
of getting nice and comfortable.
There are days
I really enjoy my black moods.
- It's like curling up
with a good detective story.
- Merde.
How would you know
if you were never there?
Hey, honey, these old bones
have known plenty of misery.
But I make it a point to get busy
as soon as I feel the blues comin' on.
Oh, God.
It was so much easier in the '60s.
We had Vietnam,
assassinations, the Black Panthers.
There was a hell of a lot to do.
Can even find a decent cause these days.
We could use a good war.
I could use a double vodka martini.
- Patti's so sad.
- She has a right to be. So do you.
I'm sad, Elaine.
I'm sad. I'm lonely.
I'm depressed.
What do you want me to say?
What do you want me to say?
Where you goin'?
See you guys next week.
Well, let me ride home with you.
- You sure you're all right?
- I'll call you later.
I think we made her
feel worse than she did.
I don't think
that marriage is over yet.
I hope Martin gets a permanent case
of the clap and his pecker falls off.
- Hello.
- Fuck you.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I had a fight with Phil.
What about?
He was defending Daddy.
He doesn't think it was the right thing,
but he understands him.
Phil's a nice boy.
- I hate Daddy.
- He didn't leave you. He left me.
I still hate him.
You'll get over it.
I don't want to see him again.
Who you talkin' about
Phil or your daddy?
- Both of'em.
- That's crazy.
Then I'm crazy.
Okay, honey.
Oh, Mom.
- I hate him, Mom.
- Oh.
I hate him too.
Would you take him back?
Do you want him to come back?
Yeah. I guess so.
It's over, kiddo.
For good.
You'd better
get used to that, you know?
- Hello?
Hello, Phil.
No.
Yes. Star Wars. Mm-hmm.
No. Nothin'. Nothin'.
I thought we went over this?
Mm-hmm.
"Balls," said the queen.
"If I had 'em, I'd be king."
Well, if you won't sue me, Erica...
I'll tell you, uh, off the record...
that you're in very good health.
- Why am I tired all the time?
- It's called divorce.
Maybe I should take Valium
or something.
Come on.
We'll talk about it. Huh?
- Did you feel this way, uh,
before all this happened?
- Never.
- Never?
- Maybe I should see a psychiatrist, Arthur.
Erica, it's normal to feel lousy
when a husband walks out on you.
You'd have to be crazy to feel good.
It's only been a few weeks.
Some time has to pass.
- And I'm not saying you
shouldn't see a psychiatrist.
- You're just saying...
- Erica's in good health.
- Mmm.
Are you
Are you seeing other men yet?
No!
Well, don't be so shocked.
I'm not in the mood
for men, Arthur.
I wasn't referring to sex.
I mean, companionship.
Oh. Oh.
There are male companions
out there who don't wanna get laid?
Well, you
Well, you could have a drink with me.
Is that a pass, Arthur?
No, it was an invitation
to have a drink.
How come I never got an invitation
to have a drink when I was married?
Well, I don't know.
L I never thought about it.
It's a pass, Arthur.
A definite fucking pass.
My relationship
with Hal is totally honest.
He doesn't tell me he loves me.
I don't tell him he's fascinating.
- It's pure sex.
- You always were different.
Not always.
- I've just learned to live
with my ups and downs.
- I don't know how you do it.
I like my job.
I like my friends.
I like my holidays.
Oh, I'm going to the Catskills next week!
There's a new swami in town.
You wanna go?
Uh, well, my spiritual life is just fine.
What's spiritual?
There'll be some gorgeous men there.
- What does this Bob do?
- He's a press agent
Broadway shows, movies.
Hal says he's a nice guy.
- If he tries to touch me, I'll break his arms.
- Relax.
- Waiter.! Waiter.!
Right here, pal.
These are fantastic.
These are like claws, Bob.
- Oh, yeah?
- Claw things.
- Oh, yeah.
- We'll take all four of these.
- Take 50,000 of'em, if you got 'em.
- I don't know if I can
- What do you call these?
- Thank you.
- Claws.
- Claws.
Erica, have a claw.
Unbelievable.
Give her some of those, uh...
the shrimp with the, uh
What do you call the shrimp
with the white paper on the end?
- Paper shrimp.
- Paper shrimp. Give us some of those, okay?
- Okay, anything else?
- That's fine. Paper shrimp. Thank you.
Do you work, Erica?
Yeah, I, uh
I work part time at, uh
The Rowan Gallery in Soho?
- Oh, I've never been there.
- It's a good gallery.
- We could all take a walk there later.
- That would be nice.
- Do you paint?
- No. L I studied painting...
- but I'm not an artist.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm in public relations.
What are you working on?
Well, right now it's a new picture
about an ex-Vietnam vet...
who comes back to a small
Midwestern town and shoots 300 people.
- That should make a fortune.
- I think I saw it.
- I don't think so, Hal.
- I saw it, I'm telling you.
You couldn't.
They haven't made it yet.
- Sounds familiar.
- Erica.
Claire! Hi!
- It's nice to see you.
- Remember Allison?
Hi.
How you doin'?
- Hey, I called you about a hundred times.
- Yeah.
- You're never in.
- I know. I know.
Oh, excuse me. This is, um, Bob.
And this is Claire and Fred
and Allison and Elaine and Hal.
- Hal. I'm Hal.
- Fred. Nice to meet you.
- How are you? Glad to know you.
- Can we have lunch next week?
- Yeah. I'll call you.
- Okay.
I will.
- Want a bear claw, honey?
- Oh, she's full.
- I'm sorry, Erica.
Call us if you need anything.
- I will. Thank you.
- Please call me.
- Yeah! I will.
Bye-bye.
Hal, this is great.
Excuse me. I'll be right back.
What are those things that would come
in this little steamer here?
Waiter, can
we have the shrimp with paper?
Bring a couple of Bubble-Up.
- You all right?
- Yeah. I'm fine.
- You sure?
- This is crazy.
- Erica, let's take a walk.
- I feel like I've been
dim-sum-ed out of my mind.
- I think I'm gonna go home.
- You sure?
- Oh, come on!
- I'll take you home.
- Stay awhile.
- No, I really wanna go home.
- Where do you live?
- You go on, Elaine. I live in the East 60s.
- Good, I'll take you home.
- Bye.
- Well, let me take you home.
- Bye-bye!
- I'll see you later. Call you.
- Have a nice time. See you.
- Boy, that's a nervous lady.
- She has a right to be.
I'm divorced.
Married 11 years.
Two children.
My wife remarried.
She's living out on the island...
so I get to see the kids
just about every weekend.
When did you get divorced?
It's been... three years.
It was tough at first.
- You feel very disoriented.
- I know.
Yeah, Hal said you were separated?
What happened?
Oh
My husband left me for a younger woman.
Ha, ha, ha.
He must be out of his mind.
- Are you uncomfortable?
- With you? No.
Why did you move closer to me?
I don't know. L
- I guess I want to be closer to you.
- Don't, Bob! Uh-uh!
- Why not?
- I said so, that's why. I-I don't want you to.
- I didn't do anything!
- But you want to, don't you?
- You're paranoid.
- Do you or don't you?
What?
You'd think I was asking
you to go to bed with me.
I'm just touchy these days.
I'm sorry.
You sure are.
Maybe I am being
less than honest. L
- I'd like to see you again, Erica.
- Oh, I don't think so.
- Why not?
- You seem like a nice man.
It-It's not that.
I'm just I'm not dating.
- Well, what was today?
- Lunch.
Well, lunch is dating
in my neighborhood.
Take a girl to lunch, it's dating.
Uh, you're right. Lunch is dating.
Oh, God. "Dating."
It's a silly word.
You are a very complicated woman.
I'm crazy about you.
You son of a... bitch.!
Stop the cab! Stop it!
You Stop the cab!
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't
- Stop it!
Get out, you son of a bitch!
- I didn't do anything!
- Just get out!
Just stop it! Will you stop it?
Just pull the fuck over!
Get out!
I don't want to see you!
I didn't do anything.
This is ridiculous.
Just take me home!
Wonderful.
This is a wonderful thing to come home to.
- Get out of here, Phil!
Just get out of my house!
- I'm sorry.
Out! I don't want
to talk about it.
- We didn't do anything.
- You just get out!
- We didn't do anything!
- Here's your coat. You be quiet, Patti!
- No! He's not going to!
- Get out of the door!
- I want him to stay!
- Mrs. Benton Call you tomorrow!
- Patti!
- Mom, what is with you?
Look, you've got
I don't care what you want!
- You can't run my life!
- Oh, goddamn it!
- I hate it here! I don't
want to live here anymore!
- I don't want to live here, either!
- You can't stop me from seeing Phil.
I can! I can stop you
from doing anything I want!
- No, you can't! I'll run away!
- I don't care if you run away.
What did I do that was so wrong?
Just tell me, and I'll understand.
I don't think you would
act like this if your father still lived here.
Act like what?
I wasn't having an orgy or anything!
- You want me to go to the park?
- Hush!
- Get out of the house!
- Okay, I'll go to the park.
- I'll sit on a bench and do it in public.
- Okay, go ahead!
I'd like to see you!
You might as well do it in public!
- You don't have any kind
of feeling about anything!
- Fine! I'll do it!
- I don't know.
- God, what is with you?
I'm sorry.
God. Oh, God.
It's just confusing.
L I'm sorry I screamed at you, Patti.
- I'm sorry.
- It's all right.
I just don't understand
why you get so upset.
- I just can't be your father.
- So just be my mother!
Come here.
Come here, honey.
Call Phil and tell him I'm sorry.
Uh, tell him he can come over.
We can have an orgy.
Maybe he's got a friend for me.
How was your date?
My date? Oh.
We had dim sum. I was almost raped.
- He made a pass?
- Yeah.
I don't see what's wrong with that.
You're beginning
to sound like my date.
- You okay?
- Yeah. Fine.
How 'bout you?
Call Phil.
Okay.
I'm I'm afraid.
I'm frightened, you know.
- Mm-hmm.
- I've never been afraid of anything...
before in my life.
When I was little, I was
I don't know.
I was afraid of
that I was gonna get
my clothes dirty, or...
you know, I was gonna
get bad marks on my report.
U- U-Uhh.
I was afraid when I got my period
for the first time.
You know, l
Well, I got my period...
when I was, uh
when I was 13, you know.
And most of myWell
Some of my friends
Well, my best friend
My best friend
was Karen Fienstein...
and she got her period
when she was 12, you know.
So I thought there was something wrong
with me, because I didn't get my period.
So I had a terrible year
from 12 to 13.
You know, I mean, I-I-I
I thought there was really
something wrong with me.
You know, every time
I went to the bathroom...
I would sort of, you know,
- Check and see if l
Yeah, if I got my period yet.
- And go look.
And, suddenly l
O- Oh, I was wearing
I was wearing these...
dumb little white lace panties...
you know, that my grandmother
had given me for my birthday or some
And, um...
suddenly I felt this...
wet, warm feeling
in my crotch, you know.
And then l
I felt sort of excited, you know.
But then I felt afraid.
I was afraid. I was afraid...
that I was going to get
blood all over the... chair...
all over my pants.
Then the bell rang,
and then the class got up...
and then I saw Karen, you know.
And I smiled, and I winked
at her, and I went like that.
And she came over, and she said,
"What are you smiling about?"
And I said, "I think I got it."
And she said, "Oh, thank God!"
I don't really know why
I'm telling you all this.
- I mean, it doesn't really
- Well.
Those are very scary moments,
and you think a lot about that
when you're a kid. It's natural.
- And what's happening now?
- Everything seems very different.
I'm I'm not able to...
know what's gonna happen.
You know, before I had a sense that...
- life would go on, and
- Yes.
- Now, it's like every day is like, "Whew!"
- Yeah.
What's gonna happen?
And I don't know how to control it.
- And I don't know
- Yeah.
I don't know
I don't know what to do.
Your whole life has been
disrupted, discombobulated.
And... it's a new life right now.
I mean, what can you do? You know,
you can't live my life for me, can you?
No. No. I certainly
can't live your life for you.
It's your life.
But what I can do...
is to explore it with you
and see what's happening now in your life.
Yeah.
Maybe the confusion
that you're feeling now...
will clear up.
I'm pretty sure it will.
I think, right now, it would be
a really good idea if you came twice a week.
But very quickly
we'll move into once a week.
Because it's a lot more
important what you do out there...
than what you do in here.
Mr. Benton would like to meet there at 1:00.
Hello, Mrs. Benton.
Hi.
It's good to see you.
I'm glad you called.
Let me have your coat.
- You look terrific.
- I'm worried about Patti.
She's very angry at you.
Yeah. Well, she's got a right to be.
I'm seeing a therapist, and
I want her to see her too.
- It's expensive.
- That's all right.
- I'll-I'll take care of it.
- Good.
- Well, that's settled.
- Who's theWho's the therapist?
Oh, her name is Tanya Berkel.
- A woman.
- I don't know any men named Tanya.
Well, that's good.
I think that's that's good.
Good. I glad you think it's good.
You really hate me, don't you?
- Yeah.
- I don't hate you.
- Oh, you were always a very
compassionate man, Martin.
- Now, wait a minute. L
How How can you hate somebody that
you were in love with for 16 years? I don't
It's easy.
If you're trying to make me feel guiltier
than I already do...
- you're doing a good job.
- Good.
This is ridiculous.
Why are we having this conversation?
Martin, do you know
how many times we made love?
- No.
- No, I don't want to get into that.
I wanna tell you.
At least 2,000 times.
That's counting
twice a week for 16 years.
You should put it up
on your ticker tape.
I think it's a very
interesting statistic.
I wanna know something.
Did you fall out of love
with my my flesh, my body...
or mewith Erica?
Did you fall out of love with Erica?
Wait a minute. I didn't
fall out of love with you.
L I love you.
I mean, all right,
it-it's different now, but l
I love you.
I can'tjust erase all those years.
- I'll always love you.
- I was your hooker, Martin.
I was a bright,
high-priced, classy hooker.
Upper East Side
by way of Vassar hooker...
but I was your hooker.
You have a lousy shrink.
How long do you think
Marcia's gonna last?
Well, I'm gonna marry her.
The awesome sanctity of marriage.
Listen, if you want to sit up here with me
and have a conversation, that's great.
But if you want to have an argument,
I think you'd better leave.
- I want to have an argument!
- You're flippin'.
Call Patti.
I never had any self-esteem.
That was the trouble.
I never had any self-esteem.
That was the trouble.
I suppose I thought looks would do it.
Well, I'll tell you.
It is a nice feeling to like yourself.
Bette Davis
always had self-esteem.
- Oh.
- So did Katharine Hepburn.
- Mm-hmm.
- Terrific woman.
- Look at this.
- Oh.
- Beautiful.
- It's strange, isn't it?
I mean, where are all the wonderful women
that were in the movies in the old days?
Bette Davis, Katharine Hepburn,
Joan Crawford.
- Where are all the women?
- Well, we've got, uh...
- Jane Fonda, Barbra Streisand.
- Oh, please. It's not the same thing.
I'd hate to see
Fonda and Streisand...
- in a toe-to-toe with Hepburn and Davis.
- Right.
- There's no contest.
- Different times.
Hi.
- Hi. I'm sorry. Am I interrupting?
- No.
- Uh-uh.
- We were wondering where all
the women movie stars are...
compared to 20, 30 years ago.
Well, um, I think
we're getting to an age...
- where the dominate cult figure is bisexual.
- Oh, God.
- Maybe unisexual would be
a more appropriate term.
You mean like
Mick and Dylan and David?
- That sort of thing?
- Mm-hmm.
What's so funny?
- Is that good or bad?
- I don't know. Nobody knows.
- You're entitled to an opinion.
- Well, I'm not bisexual,
if that's what you mean.
- Yes, we know that.
- You know, but maybe she doesn't.
How'd we get started on this?
Self-esteem.
I could write a book on self-esteem.
"Self-esteem
and the American Woman."
Once divorced...
sleeping around,
drinking too much...
pretending to have a lot
of self-you-know-what.
Really having next to none.
- You getting your period, Elaine?
- Sure.
But I also have
no fucking confidence.
Here. Drink this.
Why do people always
give you water when you fall apart?
- I don't need water. I need booze.
- That's a girl.
Don't worry, honey.
Aunt Elaine is just a manic-depressive.
You know, like, uh,
Jekyll and Hyde?
I don't think you get enough vitamin C.
- See you guys later.
- Bye, honey.
- Bye.
- Take care.
- She's somethin' else, Erica.
- Yeah, tough cookie.
- She's confused about Martin.
- How is the son of a bitch?
Hey. We forgot Claire Trevor.
- Jean Arthur, Susan Hayward.
- What about Greta Garbo?
That was before my time.
I liked Rita Hayworth.
She was pretty.
Everywhere I go I see... couples.
I see people holding hands
or their arms around each other...
cheek to cheek or
I just feel jealous.
Oh, I have so much to say,
you know, at the end of the day.
I tell Patti everything.
I think about her, you know,
going away to school and
I know it's, uh
it's a couple of years away...
but I think about it as if...
it's gonna happen,
you know, tomorrow.
- Yes.
- L
I guess I'm lonely.
I was very lonely too
when I got divorced.
I didn't know you were divorced.
Yes.
And it's certainly okay to feel lonely.
You're supposed to in a situation like this.
It's It's what is
what's expected.
It's really okay to feel anything
anger, jealousy...
depression.
It's okay to feel.
I I feel guilty about my feelings.
Well, guilt is something
that I get livid about...
because it's kind of
a man-made emotion.
And, uh...
I would like to see you...
take a vacation from guilt.
Stop feeling guilty for one week.
Just-Just say, "Erica, turn off the guilt."
Just turn it off.
Don't feel guilty.
It doesn't get you anywheres.
It really prolongs the agony.
And
- I know what you mean. I'll try.
- Yeah.
And don't feel guilty
about feeling guilty, either.
And don't feel ashamed
of your feelings.
They're your feelings.
They have no I.Q.
They have no morality.
They're your feelings. Just feel 'em.
When were you divorced?
I was divorced three years ago.
But let's get back to you
and loneliness.
When you were married,
did you ever feel lonely?
- No, not really. No.
- When you were married, did you feel lonely?
Never?
No.
Well, sometimes, but
I wasn't scared then, you know?
This scares me.
It is scary.
It's a whole new way of life.
Did you ever find yourself
wanting to be alone?
Yes! But I knew it
wasn't gonna be forever.
Does it feel to you as if this is gonna
be forever the way you feel now?
Well...
I haven't had sex
for seven weeks.
It's been seven weeks since Martin left.
I always took sex for granted.
Are you feeling sexy these days?
Hardly.
And, uh
- What was I saying?
- Sex.
Oh, yes.
I was hoping you'd forgotten.
Um...
well, we just had
a pretty good sex life, you know.
I just It was very
This isn't fun.
No.
I just
- I enjoyed sex. It was It was nice.
- Mm-hmm.
We were pretty... wild,
Martin and me.
Mm-hmm. Tell me
what you mean by that.
Wha-What do you mean,
you were pretty wild?
Well, we had a good sex life.
What exactly was it like?
Jesus! What do you think
happened? What happens?
You sound pretty angry.
What's that all about?
If I knew that, I wouldn't be here.
Well, what are you
gonna do about it?
You're looking at me
as if I have the answers.
I don't have the answer for you.
I can tell you what I would do...
if I were me
and I were in your situation.
What?
Well, one thing, I'd do a lot
of what you're doing already.
I'd be a I'd spend
a lot of time with my friends...
as you're doing.
And I'd also sort of
take myself by the hand...
and say, "Come on, Tanya.
Get into the stream of life.
"Get back in there.
"Don't be scared
of going out with guys.
Let's open the door and walk out
and get in the stream of life."
- Men, huh?
- Yeah, men.
I'd risk it. I'd risk it
with some new men.
They're people, you know.
I think you could enjoy them.
Take a chance.
Yeah. I guess I should.
Ugh.
- Can I help you?
- I'll have a glass of white wine, please.
Two beers, Tom.
- Erica!
- Hi!
- Come, join us.
- Okay.
It's good to see you.
Erica Benton, Edward Thoreaux.
- Hello.
- Nice to meet you.
Erica works over at the Rowan.
Oh, really?
I haven't seen the new show.
Oh, it's very controversial.
Either you love it or you hate it.
Edward just got back
from a year in Rome. He's a painter.
How was Rome?
Oh, it's very controversial.
Either you love it or you hate it. I loved it.
How are you, Erica?
Oh, I'm a little weird these days.
- I'm getting divorced.
- Ah, I'm surprised.
- Why?
- You seem like such a normal person.
Compared to me, that is.
It's the normal people who are getting
divorced. Nobody else bothers to get married.
If I got married every time I thought
it was serious, I would be in lots of trouble.
How are you?
The work I'm doing is nice.
Edward and I are definitely an item.
- So life is good.
- One hates to be thought of as an item.
Hey, what's happening, babe?
- Hi, Charlie.
- Hey, Charlie.
- Jean, how ya doin'?
- Hi. My name is Edward Thoreaux.
- Charlie. Nice to see you.
- How do you do?
- Were you slumming?
- I wasn't up till now.
What does she want from me?
There's a party at Tom Whalen's loft.
Do you want to come?
Tom Whalen? You mean the guy
who paints the turtles?
- Yeah.
- I pass. Thanks.
- Erica?
- I don't think so.
It was nice to meet you.
Arrivederla.
Arrivederla, my ass.
Listen, what are you doing
out by yourself? Where's honey?
- We're getting divorced.
- No shit? What happened?
He was buying a shirt in Bloomingdale's,
and he fell in love.
- Am I supposed to be sorry or what?
- No.
- Buy me another glass of wine, Charlie.
- Be right back.
Take me to your loft, Charlie.
Well, you want a cup of coffee?
Something to eat?
- Uh-uh.
- A bottle of Chianti in the kitchen.
Charlie, let's just do it, okay?
Now, before I change my mind.
Okay, okay.
Let's just get something
straight right off the top, babe, huh?
I don't get involved with my women.
I'm a short-term guy.
I don't fall in love.
I don't wanna get married.
- Right.
- The only thing you can
count on me for is sex.
I am what I am.
I make no bones about it.
Charlie, I'm very nervous.
Your talking is just making me more nervous.
Okay.
- You havin' trouble?
- Yeah.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute!
Here. Here. Wait.
Hold it! Hold it!
Just a second!
You got your thing caught.
- My necklace is in it.
- All right, all right, all right, all right.
Careful. There we go.
Oh, what a disaster!
Cheer up, will ya?
Yeah. Ahh.
The maiden! Delightful.
Delightful.
Will you stop actin'
like some kind of virgin, huh?
Yoo-hoo? Miss? Yo.!
Ah, here you are.
Hi.
Charlie, I've only
slept with one man in 17 years.
Jesus, I was wrong.
I could've sworn
you've had a few affairs.
Oh, man, what a beautiful body.
Come here.
Cheer up, will ya?
This is your party.
I'm a little embarrassed.
- When does she stop?
- Ow!
What happened? An injury.
- What's the matter?
- A splinter.
- Where?
- In my toe.
A splinter in the toe?
The foot doctor's here.
Let me see.
Let me see.
First we'll have to remove
the outer garments.
Oh, yes.
Ah, what a lovely
piece of equipment.
Hmm? Hmm?
Huh.
You like that, huh?
You like that, don't you?
Your turn, baby. Hmm?
You gonna turn me on?
- That was nice. Very nice.
- I have to go.
I'll see you tomorrow night, okay?
- No.
- What's the matter? You mad at me?
- No.
- Come back tomorrow night.
- Uh-uh.
- Why not?
I don't fall in love, Charlie.
I'm a I'm a short-term guy.
I'll tell you one thing.
Your ex-old man's a fuckin' asshole.
Good night, Charlie.
Hi.
Wait a minute.
I want to talk to you.
- Call me.
- Hey, come on.
Hey, you wanna give me
a heart attack or what?
Jesus, Martin!
What do you want?
Well, I just wanted to tell you
that I had a nice talk with Patti.
- She's okay.
- I know.
How are you?
I got laid last night.
- Remember Billy Higgins?
- Uh-uh.
Yeah, you do. He's that big, tall,
blond guy, worked for Merrill Lynch.
- Tennis player. About my age.
- Right, right. Yeah.
He had a heart attack last week.
He dropped dead.
- That's too bad.
- You look good.
Would you try to have
a linear conversation, Martin?
Look, wait a minute.
I just want us to be friends.
I mean, if not for my sake,
then for Patti's.
I don't wanna be your friend!
- What the hell do you want me to do?
- Just leave me alone.
Well, Billy was supposed
to go out to L.A.
- Now they want me to take his spot.
- Take it.
- Well, it means I'd have to move out there.
- Good.
If I do go out, can Patti come out
and spend some time with me?
You'll have to ask Patti.
Herbert, what do you think?
It looks a little
high on the right to me.
High on the right.
Hmm. What do you think?
I- I think the whole thing
is too high.
I like it where it is.
If you liked it where it is,
then why did you ask me?
Why don't we talk about it over lunch?
Where would you like
to go for dinner?
I can't, Saul. My daughter's coming home
from school. We're eating at home.
- Well, give her a call.
Tell her to join us.
- No!
- Well, she doesn't have
to know I'm your lover.
- You're not my lover.
Well, uh
You, you know what I mean.
I'm not very good
at hiding my feelings, Saul.
What are your feelings?
Well, l I just slept with
a man that I barely know.
- I mean, casual sex is not my
- No, no.
- I-I don't
- No, it's not I don't sleep
with every woman I meet.
I'm experimenting. I'm
Well, I know it sounds a little cold...
but that's... the way it is these days.
I just want to see how it feels to make love
to someone that I'm not in love with.
How does it feel?
Sort of empty.
Well, at least you're honest.
The sex was very good.
You're a very nice man.
You have a bizarre way
of handing out a compliment.
It was the best I could do.
Why did you flirt
with me at the gallery?
I think it was mutual.
Ah, silly games we play.
There's no need for them, you know.
- Do you want to know how I really feel?
- Yes, I do.
As soon as the sex was over,
I wanted to leave.
- That's very hostile.
- I don't feel hostile. I like you.
Perhaps you'd better go home.
I'm getting a very big headache.
My husband used to get headaches
whenever I didn't want to have sex.
Poor bugger must have had migraines.
- You-You got a coat?
- Yeah.
I'll see you later.
- Behave yourselves, ladies.
- Oh, yeah?
- We'll try.
- I'm always good.
Just show me the bar.
- Ah.
- That did it.
I've gotta go home pretty soon.
- Hello, Erica.
- Hi, Edward.
Nice to see you.
- These are my friends.
This is Elaine Liebowitz.
- How do you do?
- Edward Thoreaux. And Sue Miller.
- How do you do?
- And Jeannette Lewin.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi, Erica.
- Can I take your coats?
- You look wonderful!
- Thanks.
I'm Jean Starret.
Erica has told me about your, uh, club.
This is Jeannette and Elaine and Sue.
- What club?
- Do you know anything
about consciousness raising?
- Not really.
- Neither do we.
Wejust kind of get together
once a week and complain a lot.
- That's very American.
- Aren't you an American?
I'm from Cleveland,
but I try to forget it.
- I was hoping you'd show up.
- How's your headache?
I had it ever since you left.
How's the party?
Usual.
Well, whenever you put
about 50 artists together in one room...
you get a really
pleasant combination...
of gossip, paranoia,
envy, fear, trembling...
hatred, lust and pretense.
It's, uh, wonderful.
Tell me some good gossip.
Good gossip, eh? Hmm.
Oh. You see the short,
wiry fellow in the corner?
The one with his arm
around Lady MacBeth?
Well, his name is Conrad Zweiback.
He's Hungarian. Very intense. Very ambitious.
- Can't paint for shit.
- Who's the woman?
She's the wife
of Henry Gebhart, the critic.
- Oh, I've never met him.
- Oh, he's a spider.
Sets traps for young artists,
using his wife as bait.
- Is he gay?
- Oh, no. No, not at all.
That would make sense.
No, it appears he likes to watch
his wife make love to other men.
Now, if the other man
is pleasing to Lady MacBeth...
he becomes the new
discovery of Gebhart.
- How do you know all this?
- I was discovered by Henry Gebhart.
I'm kidding.
No, but it's true.
The story's true.
- You're very beautiful tonight.
- You look very good yourself.
Shall we dance?
You're full of surprises.
Remember, we don't
really know each other.
- Tanya!
- Erica!
- How great to see you here.
- What are you doing here?
- I'm an old friend ofJean Starret's.
- Ohh.
And I'd like to have you meet
my friend, Sophie Windham.
- Hello.
- Erica Benton.
Uh, this is Saul Kaplan.
Tanya Berkel.
- Hi, Saul.
- Hello. Hi. Hi.
- Nice to meet you.
- And we're looking around
forJean, so we'll go along.
- I think she's back there.
- Okay, but I see something to eat
in there, so we'll go in there.
- Okay.
- See you later. Have fun.
- Who was that woman?
- Oh, that was no woman.
That was my therapist.
- Having a good time?
- Yeah. You?
- Hey, what do you say, babe?
- Charlie! God.
- Do you know each other?
- Yeah.
Charlie tells me
he's a great artist.
Uh, this is Elaine,
and this is Jeannette.
- Hello.
- This is Charlie.
- Hello.
- This is Saul Kaplan.
Saul Kaplan? The Saul Kaplan?
Oh, let me get over there.
Hey, this is a real honor.
I mean, really!
Hey, I bow at your feet, man.
Now, this guy's a real fucking artist.
Thank you. You may rise.
- Thank you.
- You're drunk, Charlie.
Yes, and stoned.
Great combo.
- Is he dangerous?
- Oh, ask her if I'm good, babe.
- Shut up, Charlie. Jesus!
- Ohhh, we really got it on one night.
I mean, dynamite.
And she slams the door in my face.
What did I do to deserve such a rotten fate?
I balled my ass off;
the lady won't see me again.
- It's getting to be a '60's party.
- What, is it raining?
What happened? What happened?
- Why don't you go home, Charlie.
- Why don't you fuck off!
- I'll wipe the floor with you.
- Up yours!
- Come on. Let's leave.
- No, no. No. He leaves. We stay.
Oh, I get it.
You're ballin' her too.
If you don't mind
your dumb fuckin' manners
I thought you were gonna kill him.
No, I wouldn't give the bastard
the satisfaction.
If he made the front page
of the Daily News, he'd end up famous.
His work is good, actually.
I was surprised.
Well, you can be a bastard
and have talent.
Where'd you see his work, eh?
His place. You disappointed in me?
I don't know you well enough
to be disappointed in you.
But if you ever do it again,
I'll kill you.
You're a strange man.
No, I'm a simple man really.
Got very simple tastes.
I like Titian, Rembrandt,
Botticelli, Kojak...
Camembert cheese...
expensive shoes
I have bad feet
London, Vermont,
New York about half the time.
And being madly in love.
And I've been without that
for a long time now.
What's so funny, eh?
What the hell are you laughing at, eh?
I bare my soul, and you laugh at me.
What is it?
You stepped in dog shit!
I think this is poodle shit.
Oh, yes, after a while, you can tell
one kind from another.
I can even tell the difference
between an East Side dog...
an uptown dog and a Village dog.
Now, East Side dogs
shit only the best...
and Village dogs shit art.
In London, they don't
shit at all, you know.
I don't think they're
allowed to, no, no.
In London, I think they have an underground
passage where all the dogs shit.
I was born in London, you know.
My mother and my father
had a shop near Stepney Green.
That's the Lower East Side
of London.
One day when I was about six,
my parents had a row, you know.
My mother, she threw a pickled herring
at my dad, and it, uh, missed.
Splattered all against the wall.
I took one look
at that pickled herring...
and that's when I decided
to become an abstract expressionist.
Your work does remind me
of pickled herring.
Mmm.
Hey, I want to know
about that man you lived with.
Were you passionate
with each other?
- You mean sexually?
- I mean in every way.
Well, we were married
for a very long time.
- Well, I was married for nine years.
- Really?
Eight of those years
were very passionate.
Well, "passion's" a mild word for it, really.
It'sWell, it was more like war.
How did your marriage end?
Not with a whimper, but with a bang.
Matilda Her name is Matilda
She wrote poetry for her soul, and she swam
a hundred laps a day for her body.
Now, this was after we had
the two children.
- Boys?
- My son is 12. My daughter's nine.
Well, one day I came home,
and I found her in bed...
with a high diver
from the local pool.
- Oh, God.
- I wanted to kill the poor sap,
but something kept me from it.
- What?
- He was about seven feet tall.
Oh, you know something? L
I wasn't angry.
I felt relief, really.
I was glad it was over
for both of us!
Well, I wasn't a very good husband.
My work means everything to me.
I don't think I believe that.
Don't you miss your children?
I love them. Sometimes I miss them.
But I see them every summer. We have
a place up in Vermont. You'll like it.
You seem to have my life
worked out for me.
For us. I want you.
- You know that?
- Yes, I'm getting the message.
Do you want me?
My head tells me to slow down.
But I don't think my pulse is normal.
You know, there are three things
that we could do right now.
You could call a taxi and go home.
Or we could go on walking,
and, uh, I could lecture you...
on the real dilemma of modern art.
Or we could go to my place,
and we could thoroughly enjoy each other.
You want hot sauce on your eggs?
Please.
- Grated cheese?
- Everything.
I feel great.
I feel... happy.
I- I don't know what's going on.
This is craziness.
I don't understand anything anymore.
I feel I like
to do things, you know.
- I want to travel.
- We'll travel.
I want to see Greece.
I want to see Persia.
I'd like to go to Tibet.
I'd like to open up
a little restaurant.
Nothing fancy. Just a little something
where I sing under a spotlight.
You ever thought about skateboarding?
I do want to go to India!
India I can do without.
Why?
I like a nice bathroom.
I may go back to school.
I may go back to school.
What's wrong with the gallery?
Oh, I need more money. I don't
want to depend on Martin forever.
Also, I could use
a real challenge in my work.
Live with me.
That'd be a real challenge.
I could use a challenge in my work.
Living with me is work.
Hey, this is really delicious.
I'm serious.
So am I.
Does it still feel empty?
No, but it tastes like hot sauce.
Why do you only have one child?
Do you want to have a child?
No, no, no.
Well, I had two miscarriages
after Patti.
I quit trying. Why?
Because... I want to know
everything there is to know about you.
Mm. Paint! Paint!
Paint! Please, paint!
- You are the most delicious
woman I've ever met!
- I have to go.
- There's something so damn
Victorian about you!
Will you ever, ever
spend the whole day...
followed by the whole night
with me in this room?
I don't know!
Look, I'll come over to your place
if it's any easier.
There's just something
so nice about sleeping...
and waking up
with a person that you like.
You really know how
to rush a girl, don't you?
You really know how
to rush a girl, don't you?
Erica, underneath
this haunted, driven shell of a man...
there lives a warm homebody...
who likes to watch TV
and chew cashews...
while the woman he loves
is finishing a good novel.
Sounds like my marriage.
I want to meet your daughter.
- Now?
- Whenever.
Come to dinner tomorrow night.
Don't know the address.
I like your style.
A girl in my school
got an abortion last week.
- How old is she?
- Sixteen.
- It's not that unusual.
- Do I know her?
Mm-mm. Cost 200 bucks.
She said it was awful too.
The doctor kissed her on the mouth
right after the abortion.
- Oh, God!
- Two hundred bucks!
What about her parents?
Do they know?
- No way!
- Well, who paid for it?
We all chipped in.
- What about the boy?
- She was too embarrassed to ask him.
That stinks.
- Here comes Casanova.
- Oh, I'm warning you.
- I'm warning you.
- Shake it.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- All right?
- Thank you. Uh-huh. Come in.
This is Patti Benton. Saul Kaplan.
- Hello.
- Hi.
I saw one of your paintings
in the Museum of Modern Art.
Oh? Did you like it?
I didn't understand it.
- Hmm. Well, I'm gonna like you.
- She never lies.
How old are you?
- Forty-two.
- You don't look it.
- You look older.
- Patti!
- How old do I look?
- I already know. You're 15.
- Do I look it?
- You look much older.
Good.
- Can I have some?
- With dinner.
Give her half a glass.
Cut it with water.
- Yeah, that's what the French do.
- We're not French.
Booze is worse than grass.
I smoke grass once in a while.
- So do I.
- Got any?
Now, don't be precocious, Patti.
I'm not being precocious.
I'm just a normal 15-year-old girl.
Actually, I'm not normal.
I'm still a virgin.
Patti, come into
the kitchen with me.
Excuse us.
- You're being very rude!
- I guess I'm just nervous.
- This is the first time
you've brought a man home.
- Do you like him?
It's too early to tell. He's cute.
This isThis is really delicious.
Your mother's a very good cook.
How can you tell from one dish?
She made eggs for me the other night.
With hot sauce and grated cheese?
- That's right.
- Hmph.
She really likes you then.
I don't think I'm having
fun at this party.
I am.
Relax.
I know that you and Saul are lovers.
It's not funny.
What's the matter? You always
told me to tell the truth.
It's obvious that you invited
Saul here to prepare me.
Prepare you for what?
Um, look, I'm the one
who asked to come here.
- I wanted to meet you.
- I have a father.
I don't want to be your father.
I'm not marrying Saul. L
- Marry him! I don't care!
- He's my friend.
So marry him.
It doesn't matter to me.
Nobody's asking you
to stop loving your father.
Well, you know, it would be easier
if Daddy could see me here sometimes.
Okay.
Sorry.
I behaved like a 15-year-old.
I do it all the time.
# Maybe I'm a man
Maybe I'm a lonely man #
#Who's in the middle of something #
#That he doesn't really understand #
# Maybe I'm a man #
# Maybe you're the only woman
who can ever help me #
# Baby, won't you
help me understand #
# Maybe I'm amazed at the way
you're with me all the time #
# Maybe I'm afraid
of the way I need you #
# Maybe I'm amazed at the way
you help me sing my song #
#You right me when I'm wrong #
# Maybe I'm amazed at the way
I really need you #
# Maybe I'm a man
Maybe I'm a lonely man #
#Who's in the middle of something #
#That he doesn't really understand #
# Maybe I'm a man #
# Maybe you're the only woman
who can ever help me #
# Baby, won't you help me under##
Good morning.
Hi. How come
you're not jogging?
Oh, I had an early
appointment with this guy.
What's, uhWhat's up?
Well, I've decided that
you can come to the apartment...
to see Patti whenever you want.
- Oh, good. I'm glad.
- Just call first.
Okay. Oh, I meant to tell you.
I'm not going to California now.
- Why?
- Oh, a lot of things. Mostly, no money.
Well, you know, I've, uh
I've stopped seeing my therapist, and...
well, I'm looking around
for a better job, so...
the money thing will be
a lot easier for you.
We could make it real easy
if you want to.
What do you mean?
Well, I broke up with Marcia.
I'm surprised.
Yeah, I am too, kind of.
Well, the truth of it is she left me.
I don't know. I mean, the minute
I moved in there, we stopped having fun.
It's craziness.
I'm sorry.
Are you really?
Yeah, I'm sorry for you.
- I want to come back.
- No.
- Will you think about it?
- No, Martin.
I mean, I was thinkin'
you could think of me...
as this guy who was sick for a long time,
you know, and then recovered.
Think you could do that?
It doesn't work that way, you know?
Yeah. Patti said you have a boyfriend.
Yeah. We're goin' steady.
Well, I'll call you.
Bye.
Bye, Martin.
Patti's gonna have to spend
more time alone.
Oh, she can cope with that.
Yeah. I worry about her.
I have to. I have to.
- You don't have to.
- I do.
I have enough money for both of us.
I don't want your money, Saul.
Look, I'd take your money,
if I needed it... and if you had it.
But, youyou're an artist.
Oh, yes.
What's Patti doing this summer?
Oh, she wants to go
to summer school.
Well, you know what would be nice
what would be very nice indeed
would be if both of you
came up to Vermont...
for the whole of the summer.
I can't leave the gallery.
I can't.
He'd let you go for the summer.
Well, maybe for a week,
but not for the whole summer.
- It's very beautiful.
- Oh.
Want one?
- Yes, sir.
- Oh, um, one lemon, please.
- Make it two.
- I'm sorry. No lemon. Vanilla.
- Okay. That's all right.
- Fine. Good.
- Your children will be there, won't they?
- Yes, they certainly will!
Yes. Well, we'd have a lot of fun.
- Madame.
- Fine.
I can't.
You keep saying you can't.
How much are these, please?
- Twenty cents each, please.
- Twenty cents each.
- "I can't."
- Thank you very much, sir.
- Well, I can't.
- Oh, you can.
What am I gonna do up there?
Watch you paint?
Go fishing? Go swimming?
Well, it sounds nice, doesn't it?
Ah, yeah.
I'll come up
for a couple of weekends.
Life is very complicated.
I've been on vacation for 16 years.
Oh, look, listen. I-I know you want
to get out on your own.
And I approve.
I wouldn't try to stop you.
- What do you mean, you approve?
- What?
- I don't understand that word.
Why are you saying you approve?
- Oh, look.
- I'm not doing this
for your approval, you know.
- No, listen. Let me finish.
- No, that's really not what I have on my mind.
- Please. All I meant was
- I hate that.
- Yes. All I meant was that if
Well, spending a few weeks with someone
you like that's not out of line.
How do you know?
How can you say that?
How do you know what I need,
what I want to do for myself?
I think we need
a marriage counselor.
Why don't you come back here
every weekend?
Because if I stop painting
for a few days...
I may stop painting altogether.
Do you really believe that?
Absolutely.
Men!
Women.
You know what I did yesterday?
I threw out a whole new
jar of blackberry jam.
Martin loved blackberry jam.
I think the problem was that I didn't
do things as myself, you know.
I did things as this
Martin and Erica,
Martin and Erica.
It wasn't his fault.
L I liked it.
Saul and Erica will be different
from Martin and Erica.
- You want to see other women?
- I want you!
- You're free to.
- I don't want to.
Then don't.
Do you want to see other men?
Not today.
I'm getting a headache.
I have to go back to work.
So do I.
Would you rather go back to bed?
Mm-hmm.
Yes?
This thing needs oil.
See, I'm gonna put those pillows,
you know, from the sofa around there.
- Mm-hmm.
- Carpet.
- Has a lot of outlets.
- Yeah, a lot of outlets.
Ta-da!
Another fireplace!
It's nice, isn't it?
- I can afford it.
- Then take it.
I don't know what to do
with Saul, you know.
He wants me to go to Vermont.
He goes there for five months!
- Then don't take it.
- You're a lot of help.
Why don't I go to Vermont?
You stay here,
work your ass off and be sensible.
I'll go pick berries
and dance in the woods with Saul.
It's confusing, Elaine.
Since I started taking Lithium,
I feel more sensible
than this month's Good Housekeeping.
No more black, moody lows.
But I sure as hell miss my highs.
- You want my advice?
- Yeah.
Do you know how rare
a man like Saul is?
You know how many jerks
there are out there?
He's smart. He's funny.
- Is he a good lover?
- Eh.
Start packin', honey.
I finally settled down.
I gotta tell you this.
Oh, it's crazy.
It's okay, honey.
It's really okay.
You're looking very beautiful.
But you're traveling awfully light.
How do you pack pickled herring?
I'll definitely come up for holidays.
Do you know what it's like
up there in the woods all alone?
- Paint.
- Hmm.
Perhaps I'll find some nice,
warm moose to keep me company.
Am I only a sexual object to you?
No.
No, you're a bright,
willful, curious woman...
who is also a sexual object.
I hope it's the hottest...
muggiest, most miserable
summer on record.
You're so damn stubborn!
I'm not. I'm really not.
Come with me, for Christ's sake!
I can't.
- Independent.
- Trying to be.
Woman.
- Vicious.
- No. Honest.
You're driving me crazy.
Okay, Mario, I've got it!
- Will you hold this a minute?
- Yeah.
- Have you got it?
- I got it.
- Bye.
- What about this?
- Oh, that's for you.
- How the hell am I gonna get it home?
Take a taxi.