Ana Maria in Novela Land (2015)

1
[ speaking Spanish ]
MAN: Ariana!
Eduardo.
[ speaking Spanish ]
[ heart beating ]
[ suspenseful music ]
[ screams ]
Did you update
that spreadsheet?
Did you update
that spreadsheet?
I needed it, like, days ago.
I'm working on it
right now.
"Their faces peeled back,
revealing more
of their undead nature."
That is rich.
You're writing fan-fiction
instead of updating
the spreadsheet
that I needed two days ago.
I only need like five more
minutes to finish it, okay?
Blind monkeys
could do this job.
[ knocking ]
MAN:
My office, now.
Ana Maria.
How do I solve a problem
like Ana Maria?
Your problem
isn't really with me.
- It isn't?
- No.
Your problem is with yourself.
To you, I represent freedom.
The freedom
you won't allow yourself.
The freedom
to be your own person,
to create your own rules.
Ana Maria.
- Yes.
- You're fired.
You--you can't fire me,
because I quit!
You're all drones!
I'm out of here.
I just want you all to know
that I never washed my hands
after I used the bathroom!
MAN:
Huh?
What?
Aaggh!
[ jukebox plays softly ]
Can I leave this here?
I don't want to advertise
my new unemployment status
to my parents.
What happened?
I happened.
[ whistles ]
- Three in a row.
- Fight the power.
That's not good for somebody
who still lives at home.
Hey, easy there.
Oh, can you turn that up?
Yeah.
[ speaking Spanish on TV ]
[ phone chimes ]
Ooh, girl, that's nasty.
What?
I never lose it this way.
- Boob sweat.
- My boobs don't sweat, usually.
Are you coming
to my show tonight?
A producer is coming
to check us out.
Ugh, people are so dumb.
Ariana can't just go
to the police.
If she goes to the police
without receiving the options,
Eduardo won't marry her
and Armando will be left out.
On the other hand,
with the options,
she can grant him control
over the company
before suffering her destiny.
[ scoffs ]
I'm not sure if I'll be able
to make it.
- But you said you were coming!
- I know.
But it's the final week.
Everything is happening
right now.
Just record it already!
It's not the same.
I have followers. They need me.
What about your friend?
She needs you too.
- You used to be fun.
- What?
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm fun.
[ Pasin Sin Lmitestheme songringtone ]
No, I didn't forget.
I'm on my way already.
Shit. Shit. I completely forgot
about the fitting
for my sister's wedding dress.
It's this whole ordeal.
It's a big deal,
not an ordeal.
Not to me, it isn't.
[ sighs ] That's just it.
It's not about you.
Are you coming to my show
or not?
I am.
I promise.
Look, I gotta go.
I'll call you later!
Just really quick.
Please?
MAN:
Mmm, I'm the ice cream man.
I'm gonna lick you up and down,
paleta chula.
[ laughs ]
Hey, baby.
- Oh, ah!
- Ow!
- Sorry.
- Sorry, I wasn't...
looking where I was going.
No, I-I-I was.
I mean, I was watching you.
I like walking,
clears my head after long shift.
Um, did you want to come
with me for--for a walk?
I probably can't.
I should get ready
for tonight.
Oh, you got, uh, plans?
Yeah, I'm live-Tweeting
my favorite show.
It's the final week.
You can follow me if you want.
I meant online.
Ohh.
Oh, yeah.
Um, sorry. Yeah, I-I will.
Ah. All right,
I'll let you get to it.
It was--it was nice
running into you.
Maybe I can call you sometime?
[ woman clears throat ]
I forgive you.
- Who told you?
- [ laughs ]
It's been obvious for years.
What?
Tony.
That's the reason you missed
your sister's fitting.
Yo te entiendo, mi'ja.
He is adorable.
What?! You think the best
I can do is the boy next door?
He's a doctor!
Wait a minute,
you guys weren't...
No, we weren't out
making babies.
They made me stay late at work,
updating the website.
It couldn't be helped.
Ana Maria,
I asked you to do one thing.
Your sister's wedding
is in a few days.
Ohh.
Hey, Ana Gloria.
- S?
- I made your favorite.
- Chicken enchiladas.
- Mom.
- I told you I'm off chicken.
- Off chicken?
Okay, I don't even know
what that means.
No, gracias, Mami.
I need to lose
10 more pounds
before my last dress fitting
on Friday.
[ snorts ]
Sorry. Allergies.
Really?
So work's been tough?
Yeah, lots to do.
Hmm. Really?
Yeah, really.
Okay, girls, um,
go set the table.
I called your office
after I waited 45 minutes
at the bridal shop, which you
were supposed to show up to,
and they told me you no longer
work there.
You are themost selfish person
I've ever met.
Why?
Because I have no interest
in playing a part
in your bougie wedding?
I'm not like you.
I'm not perfectly okay
with being typical, a statistic,
conforming to Mommy and Daddy's
expectations, and society.
No, you're right.
You're not a statistic:
24, overeducated,
living with Mommy and Daddy
because you're broke.
You are a special sunflower.
Just once I would like for you
to be there for me.
Just show up, be my sister.
It's not t hard.
Oh! Like you've always been
there for me?
What does that even mean?
Seventh grade, I asked you
to set me up with your ex,
and you refused.
- Derek Webber?
[ clears throat ]
Because you were 12 years old
and he was 19.
It was a crime.
You're ridiculous.
- You're a statistic!
- Oh, my God. You know what?
You are the most self-centered
person I've ever known.
What's her problem?
Ana Maria lost her job.
Tell her.
- Is this true?
They asked me if you really
don't wash your hands
after you use the bathroom.
- [ scoffs ]
Gross. Why don't you just wash
your hands?
It's easy.
It was a joke.
You think you're so smart.
You think you can talk yourself
out of everything.
The only thing you're talking
yourself out of
is having a life.
I'm sorry, Mom.
I have a life.
[ sighs ] Ana Maria, mi'ja,
you got fired?
It's not a big deal.
We're not rich.
I know.
[ melancholy music ]
[ romantic song
sung in Spanish ]
Aprate, gorda!
It's starting.
[ speaking Spanish on TV ]
MRS. SOTO:
Who are you talking to?
- My followers.
- Followers?
What, are you
in a cult or something?
No. Ma, they're my fans.
Oh. Fans.
Are your fans going to pay
your phone bill?
I'm going to get another job.
[ speaking Spanish on TV ]
It's distracting.
I don't know why you bother
if you're not going to watch.
I can't do this
and not-not watch.
That's not how this works.
[ thunder crackling ]
[ phone vibrates ]
[ scoffs ]
[ both speaking Spanish ]
I hope she gets
what she deserves.
She's just misunderstood.
Ohh!
Huhh!
Tony's grandparents RSVP'd
for your sister's wedding.
That's nice.
We should invite him, no?
I mean, he's doing so good.
He drives a BMW.
- It's a Hyundai.
What does it matter?
Mrs. Sanchez says
he doesn't
have a girlfriend.
Look, I don't understand.
You used to be crazy about him.
Ma, I was like 13.
Well, yeah, but you're not 13
anymore, are you?
[ scoffs ]
[ knock on door ]
[ chuckles ]
This is gonna get so dirty.
[ thunder ]
I am trying to help her, okay?
[ speaking Spanish ]
MR. SOTO:
She'll figure it out.
I speak Spanish too, you know.
[ phone chimes ]
No.
[ dramatic music ]
[ sighs ]
[ sighs ]
[ thunder ]
Ay, caray!
Now we don't know
if they slept together or not.
Ana Maria?
Uh-huh. You upset her.
[ speaking Spanish ]
She's so sensitive.
[ birds chirping outside ]
[ suspenseful music ]
[ groans ]
Oh. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Ariana...
[ speaking Spanish ]
Ariana?
- [ traffic noise outside ]
- Mmm.
Mmm.
[ speaking Spanish ]
Ugh.
[ dog barking outside ]
- [ boy laughs ]
- [ gasps ]
[ exhales ]
[ metallic scraping sound ]
[ gasping ]
[ humming ]
- Ariana.
- [ knocking ]
Buenos das.
[ sighs ]
Okay.
You're in the middle of the most
incredible dream of your life,
and you're hiding here
in the bathroom.
S se puede!
No one.
Let's do this!
Ariana, why are you talking
in English?
I always dream in English.
Mmm!
Well, except for that one time
when I binge-watched
The Lord of the Ringstrilogy
and everyone in my dream
spoke Elvish.
[ both moaning ]
Mmm.
Use your tongue.
What?
Your tongue.
[ both moaning ]
[ chuckles ]
ANA MARIA:
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
Do you hear that?
I only hear the entwined beating
of our hearts.
No, I can--
[ phone ringing ]
Oh.
- Hello?
- [ speaking Spanish ]
Who is this?
Ariana, it's Eduardo.
Can you hear me?
I'm arriving earlier
than planned.
Oh, God. Wait, this isn't going
to turn into a threesome, is it?
Because I'm not mentally
prepared for that,
dream or no dream.
I'd have to do stretches,
watch some porn...
Why would you be washing corn?
Um, I'm gonna have to call
you back.
I'm tired of your games.
I don't play games.
Not even board games.
I hate losing.
Ariana!
I understand you
less and less every day.
[ sighs ]
Worst best dream ever.
[ sighs ]
MRS. SOTO:
Ana Maria, you still here?
Shouldn't you be out looking
for a new job?
Are you moving
the furniture again?
You're going to shred
the carpet.
[ whispers ]
Gringos.
I promise nothing will happen
to you if you let me go now.
What's with the accent?
Who are you talking to?
Hang up the phone
and open this door.
Never! Never!
I'll never let you in.
I will fight until
the last breath leaves my body.
- What's going on?
- Your daughter.
She's locked herself
in her room,
and she's moving around
the furniture.
Okay.
[ speaking Spanish ]
[ clears throat ]
Ana Maria?
My fianc
has very important friends.
You can't keep me here trapped
like a prisoner!
- What is she saying?
- Something about
feeling like
she's trapped like a prisoner.
Could it have been something
you said last night?
I didn't say anything.
Ana Maria,
don't be so immature.
Okay, you can stay in your room
all day if you like,
but don't complain later
when you say that I treat you
like a little girl.
Your daughter.
[ whispers ]
Who is Ana Maria?
[ sighs ]
[ gasps ]
Mercedes!
Buenas tardes,
Seorita Tomosa.
Oh, my God.
I love you.
You're the best.
Graci--
Thank you, miss.
You always play the best maids.
You're all servile.
[ speaking Spanish ]
But really, you're the only one
who knows where the bodies
are buried.
Miss Tomosa,
are you feeling okay?
With your permission--
You don't look so well.
No, no, no! I'm great.
I am going to draw
a nice hot bath for you.
It will relax you.
- With bubbles?
- As you wish.
[ whispers ]
Yes!
Ah!
[ laughs ]
I'm ticklish!
You have to tell me,
which was your favorite role
to play?
Was it the maid
in Amor, Sangre y Rosas,
or Pasin Conoce Pasin?
You must have me confused
with somebody else.
I have been working
with the De La Roca family
for over 20 years.
[ laughs ]
Mercedes, more bubbles.
Maybe you can tell me
the secret
you alluded to
a few weeks ago?
There are secrets
that one must never reveal,
even if it pains
one's very soul.
[ inhales ]
Those are the best kind
of secrets.
Aren't you
forgetting something?
It was on the ground.
That's not me.
I'd never wear a princess cut.
Too happily ever after.
[ sirens wail in the distance ]
[ speaking Spanish on TV ]
Armando?
[ Spanish conversation
continues on TV ]
[ gasps ]
Eduardo!
MRS. SOTO: So that's what
you've been doing all day?
Curling your hair and putting on
all your makeup?
[ speaking Spanish ]
Who made this video?
Shh. It's starting.
Now I know why you made me wait
so long.
You look splendid, darling.
Almost like a new woman.
Oh!
You're stronger
than I imagined.
Who is this imposter?
This woman?
How are you feeling, mi'ja?
You look very pale.
Huh?
[ dramatic music ]
What are you doing here?
He is here to serve
as our witness
when you sign the papers
that will give you
controlling shares
of the company
just as soon as we exchange
our vows, remember?
Bor-ing.
Let's do something else.
Um, I live to make you happy.
What would you like to do?
Let's dance.
Mm, you have such meaty arms.
I wouldn't mind having them
wrapped around me all night. Mm.
Well, your wish is my command.
Mercedes,
have the ballroom prepared.
[ shouts ]
Who is this woman?!
Hey, don't scream
at your father!
It's Ariana, mi'ja.
Go eat something.
Ariana?
I don't know
what is going on here,
but I do know
this is not going to work.
Whogave you this video?
- Ana Maria Soto--
- Where is Ana Maria?
Who does she work for?
Schmidt?
Or do you want money?
Is this blackmail? What?!
Tell me!
Okay, okay,
let's go into the kitchen, okay?
- No, no, no, no!
- You haven't eaten all day.
- [ speaking Spanish ]
- You mean to poison me.
Poison you?
Poison?
Where are you going?
- Mario, Mario, do something.
- Ana Maria!
MAN: Is a little late
for jogging, no?
Like ten years, am I right?
Ana Maria, you're not wearing
any pants.
You're gonna catch a cold.
Tony, help us.
Ana Maria is not herself.
[ sirens in the background ]
[ man urinating ]
Where am I?
Eastside.
Side?
Of what?
Lady, you don't belong here.
Can I borrow your phone,
please?
Help me.
My fianc is very rich.
I will pay you later.
I've been kidnapped!
- MAN: Watch out.
[ horn beeps ]
Is this what you had imagined?
More grown-up, but better.
Dance with me, my love.
Where is your ring?
Oh, that. I didn't think
it was necessary.
Does it matter?
I would like to think
that our future together
would matter to you.
Look-- Oh.
I'm sorry.
I'll wear it next time,
I promise.
Hm.
Although...
I'm not really the recurring
dreams kind of girl.
EDUARDO:
How many of those have you had?
What are you doing?
ARIANA:
No, no, no.
Oh, this can't be.
This isn't happening.
They know everything.
But why are they announcing it?
[ sobbing ]
[ dramatic music ]
[ screaming ]
[ siren chirps ]
Miss, is everything okay?
I-I was a coward.
I hope you can still love me.
Miss, is everything all right?
They are torturing me!
Can't you see?
This is my face!
My name is Ariana Tomosa.
My fianc
is Eduardo De La Roca.
I need to talk to him!
Oh--
Gonzales.
Just a moment, miss.
That's not her real name.
That's the name of that woman
in the telenovela.
She's getting married
to the old guy,
but she's sleeping
with the young one,
who's the old guy's son.
What? How do you think my
Spanish has gotten so good?
I think it's great.
Hey, thanks.
I'm international.
Just calm down.
We're gonna get you some help.
Hey.
Don't touch me!
[ Taser buzzes ]
- Ohh!
Hey!
Watch the dress!
What games are you playing?
[ scoffs ]
Schmidtty,
can't you take a night off from
your scheming and have some fun?
Ow! That really hurts.
Believe me,
you will know true pain
if you cross me.
Marry Eduardo and then sign
the shares to me,
or else Eduardo will know
all about you and Armando.
And who knows how much
his aged heart can withstand?
[ phone vibrating ]
All right, last chance.
I'm on in five minutes,
so tear yourself
from that TV show of yours
and come out!
- How are you
calling me in my dream?
I don't understand.
What? Speak up.
I can't hear you
with all that noise.
- Is there a TV on?
- No, but--
Pasin Sin Lmites
should still be on.
Ask them to change the channel.
I didn't call you to get sucked
into your TV show.
Just do it, please.
It's important.
All right, wait a minute.
Is it on?
Hold on to your panties.
What do you see?
I see the star of the show
in a killer red gown,
on her phone.
Is it me?
Are you waving at me?
- Hop on one foot.
- Ohh.
- Bark.
- Oh, come on.
Bark and I'll believe you.
[ sighs ]
Woof! Woof! Woof!
It's you!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
This isn't a dream.
This is real.
How did you get cast
and not tell me?
No, I'm in Pasin Sin Lmites.
I'm not an actress.
I'm in this weird
TV Novela Land,
and I'm no longer Ana Maria,
I'm Ariana.
- Who?
- Ariana Tomosa.
The one sleeping
with the father and the son.
- Oh, shit, I have to go.
- Who are you talking to?
It's bad enough you're cheating
on my father,
but now you're cheating on me.
People are watching.
We have an audience!
Let them watch.
What do I care?
I demand you answer my question.
Who were you talking to?
Let's take this
to the next level.
Do you have Bluetooth?
Oh, I got it.
[DJ Laz and Pitbull's
Move, Shake, Drop [Remix]]
We gonna shut 'em down
Y'all thought we killed 'em
with the last one?
Ow
Remix
Boy, Lip-a-lot, DJ Laz
I want to see you
move, move, shake, shake
Now drop,
what your mama say
Move, move, shake, shake
Now drop,
what your daddy say
Move, move, shake, shake,
now drop
You're embarrassing yourself
and us.
Do you want to dance,
or do you want to argue?
Is it the brain tumor again?
Yeah, here we go
with the remix
Yeah, and I know
y'all feel this
Casely, Laz, Pit, Flo
Better let somebody know
We raw, show up in your town
and ball
So drop to the floor, floor,
do a, do a split, split
Bounce up and down,
oh, my
I want to see you
move, move, shake, shake
Now drop,
what your mama say
Move, move, shake, shake
Now drop,
what your daddy say
Move, move, shake, shake
Now drop,
what your sister say
Move, move, shake, shake,
hey, Laz, I got you, homie
Now drop, drop, drop, drop
Girl, you looking
for a stunna, come here, honey
Yes, I want to see you
in the back
Yeah, you know where I'm at,
yeah
Girl, you looking
for a stunna, yes, I wanna
We could do freaky things
right in the back
Yeah, shake your ass
like that, that, that, that
You gonna eat that?
Freak.
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I? Who am I?
Who am I?
Ana Maria.
Hey.
Ay, Dios mo.
Can you hear me?
Good. Ana Maria,
do you know where you are?
Armando!
You came to get me!
TONY:
No, Ana Maria, it's, uh--
it's Tony,
uh, your next-door neighbor.
Remember me?
Tony?
My neighbor?
Yes.
Look who's here.
- No!
- Aaah!
Don't let them take me back!
[ sobbing ]
Shh.
It's okay, it's okay.
Nothing bad is going
to happen to you.
It's okay.
You're not going to leave me,
are you?
No, no,
we're gonna--
we're gonna leave together here
right now.
We're finally
going to live together?
Um, "leave."
Live?
Yes, we're gonna--we're gonna
live right next to each other.
Just like always.
[ laughing ]
Ah.
Oh!
Oh!
Mmm...
[ laughs ]
I could have danced
all night.
[ laughs ]
Mmm.
Is that how you're going
to kiss me?
I respect you.
I don't need your respect.
You can have sex with me
if you want to.
Just stay.
I don't want to be alone.
One way or another,
I will always be with you.
Mm, boop!
I will be the father
you never had...
[ giggles ]
The husband
you always longed for.
You will have the protection
you deserve.
Yes.
Use a condom.
Who knows what kind of magical
STDs are floating around here?
Or worse, I'd get stuck
with a novela baby.
Those suckers grow up,
like, alien fast.
In a few days it'll be an adult
and want revenge.
[ gags ]
I think I'm gonna be sick.
[ dramatic music ]
[ gagging ]
What the hell?
No toilet?
- Feeling better?
- Yes, much better.
Good.
That's the medicine.
It will help you sleep tonight.
Why are you speaking to me
in English?
Uh, puedo hablar contigo
en espaol, si quieres.
Well, no, maybe it's better
in English.
I-I don't understand anything.
Everything is backwards.
I'm completely lost.
What is happening?
[ sighs ]
Well...
we're not sure.
Maybe an allergic reaction
or maybe just too much stress.
What matters, though,
is that you're home now, safe,
and your parents
are here with you.
My parents?
My parents are dead.
No.
No, Ana Maria,
your parents are fine.
They're just behind the door.
They love you very much.
Why do you call me Ana Maria?
Uh, is--is, um...
is Ana better?
You're having a hard time
remembering lots of things
right now.
It's okay.
It's called transient amnesia.
Transient means it's gonna pass,
and soon you're going to
remember everything just fine.
I have amnesia?
This is an epidemic
where I come from.
Everyone has suffered
from it at one point or another.
Yeah.
Get some sleep.
Tomorrow,
we're going to run some tests
to get you back to a 100%.
Okay, uh--
[ exhales ]
I'll--I'll see you
tomorrow morning.
Buenas noches, mi amor.
[ romantic music ]
[ sighs ]
[ sighs ]
[ birds chirping ]
Good morning, Miss Tomosa.
There's gonna be some changes
around here.
I have big ideas.
First off,
I'm going to promote you.
Why are you always the maid?
You could totally
be something better.
That's nice.
And Schmidt has to go.
What?
[ clatter ]
He's such a one-note character,
just a bad guy doing bad things.
I don't blame him; that's just
the way he was written.
But we can do better.
And, as Ariana,
I can fire him, right?
MERCEDES:
You can do whatever you want--
just afterthe wedding.
[ scoffs ]
The wedding?
That's not going to happen.
I mean, they don't put a hot
young guy and a hot young girl
in a show and not have them
end up together.
You must forget about Armando.
He will be your stepson soon.
Just think, today
all your dreams of a husband,
family, and security
will come true.
Those are not my dreams.
I can't get married.
I'm not ready to be tied down,
to be somebody's wife,
to be somebody's anything
before I become something
or someone.
I'm too young.
I don't care
what my parents think.
Your parents were killed
many years ago.
[ dramatic Spanish guitar
melody ]
Stop it!
I can't think with you playing.
[ music stops ]
No, no, but you see,
I'm not Ariana.
This isn't my idea of fun.
You are just nervous.
Nothing to worry about.
I think
I'm gonna be sick again.
Again?
Morning sickness.
No, that's impossible.
I couldn't be pregnant.
That morning with Armando.
Soon,
you will know the pains and joys
of motherhood.
[ speaking Spanish ]
The fastest, most accurate
pregnancy test on the market.
Who are you talking to?
You, of course.
Where would I take this?
What do you mean?
There's no toile--
Uh, never mind.
You have signed your
death warrant, Ariana Tomosa.
Enemy.
Passion.
[ sighs ]
Betrayal.
Revenge.
Okay.
We are all done.
You did a great job, Ana Maria.
And remember
what we talked about.
You're going to be confused.
Many things won't make sense.
It's okay to ask questions,
ask a lot of questions.
But until when?
It's just that...
I don't understand anything.
It could be a few days,
maybe longer,
so just be patient,
with yourself, especially.
Okay, I shall
see you next week.
What's wrong with her, Doctor?
She seems to have
a very rare form of amnesia.
She has no memory of her life
prior to yesterday.
Even her language skills
have been impacted.
And what about her
being this Ariana character?
My theory is that upon a near
total loss of her own memories,
she grabbed on to that story,
which she does remember
very well,
to face an unknown reality.
That's how she survived
such an acute mental crisis.
Oh, God.
What a shame.
She was such a good girl.
Why is she doing this?
How are things
with your daughter?
Are there conflicts?
- No, no.
No, we're a very normal family.
Oh, conflicts are very normal
between parents and children.
The important thing
is good communication.
She...fights with her a lot.
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I worry about her.
That's what a mother does.
I see, Mrs. Soto.
We should make
another appointment
for the coming week
for the three of you.
In the meantime, I'm going
to need you to strictly avoid
topics that could
cause her stress:
her work, her romantic life,
her appearance, diet.
And she should quit watching
that telenovela for a few days
so that she can reintegrate
into her own life.
I always knew you would make
a beautiful bride,
and maybe a mother soon.
Did you take the test?
- No.
So...where are we?
De La Roca mansion,
of course.
But, like, where?
Is it near Earth, Jupiter...
the twilight zone?
Are there any buses?
Planes?
- Of course.
- Where do they go?
You are the most beautiful bride
in the world.
[ sighs ]
Yes, but what world?
I'm sorry, Miss Tomosa,
but I have some chores
that I need to tend to.
As do you.
ANA MARIA:
Please be alcohol poisoning
and not an alien baby.
[ sighs, mumbles ]
[ phone beeps ]
[ line out ringing ]
Pick up, pick up, pick up.
[ phone ringing ]
- ANA MARIA: It's me.
- Dude, I had
the weirdest trip
last night.
You were talking to me
through the TV.
Um, no.
That was no hallucination.
I'm really here.
Oh, my God.
En serio?
It gets worse.
What could be worse than being
stuck in another dimension?
It's my wedding day,
and I may be pregnant.
I need to get out of here.
Dating would be one thing,
maybe go for coffee, the movies,
a little
under/over shirt action.
I thought this could make
for a great story,
but not dirty diapers
and "till death do us part."
And to a person
that doesn't even really exist!
I can't believe you're marrying
a Mexican playboy.
How's the pretend sex?
Do they have the same parts?
Focus, please.
How do I get out of here,
if I don't even know
how I got here?
What were you doing
before you were there?
I don't know. I was watching
the show with my Mom and Dad.
There was a storm.
Something funny happened
with the TV.
Next thing I know,
I woke up here.
You somehow came through the TV.
You should be able to come back
through one too.
Oh, my God, yes!
Thank you.
That has to work.
All I need to do is find one.
There's got to be a TV somewhere
here in this big mansion.
[ screams ]
What happened?
Are you okay?
Better than okay.
I'm barren.
Wait. I don't want to ruin
your happy moment, but--
But what?
If the show's no longer
on the air, what happens to you?
[ dramatic music ]
Let's not find out.
[ pop music playing ]
Um...hi.
I was just looking for a TV?
[ speaking Korean ]
You whore!
[ couple arguing
in Korean ]
Well, I can see
that you don't have one, so--
[ glass breaking ]
- [ screams ]
[ both speaking Korean ]
What channel
are you guys on?
Oh.
How come
I've never seen this before?
[ suspenseful music ]
[ gasps ]
[ grunting ]
Time out! Time-out.
[ exhales ]
[ grunts ]
MRS. SOTO:
Ana Maria.
[ speaking Spanish ]
[ tapping chair ]
Would you like to eat
something different?
A pizza?
No, thank you.
This is...very nice.
Would you like me
to serve you?
Yes, thank you.
[ clears throat ]
[ speaking Spanish ]
[ clears throat ]
- Hola, querida como ests?
- Hola, mi'ja.
A wreck,
with everything
that's going on.
Mami,you're supposed
to be helping me
with final prep,
not...babysitting.
Qu?
You haven't said hello
to your sister.
[ clears throat ]
Hey, Sis.
How are you feeling?
[ sighs ]
I have a sister?
Ohh.
Are we...close?
Ay, s, mi'ja,
you're best friends.
Very close. We all are.
We all are.
I know you're faking
for attention, so quit it.
You're not going to ruin
my big day.
Mom, you're still coming
to my final fitting, right?
Of course.
And your sister.
Does she have to come?
I mean, I don't want
to tire her.
Fitting?
For my wedding dress.
[ gasps ]
Yes, yes.
I'm getting married.
No.
You're not getting married.
I'm getting married.
Me.
Not you. Okay?
Maybe you can try dating first,
see if that works.
Ana Gloria,
don't be mean to your sister.
Of course Ana Maria can come.
It'll be good for her.
The doctor says she needs
to reintegrate.
And you can try on
your very special dress.
What are you doing here?
Um, I was looking for you.
You wouldn't know how to turn
the TV on, would you?
Is it something
with the batteries?
No, it doesn't turn on.
It's a decorative box.
[ sighs ] Of course.
That makes perfect sense.
- Are you going somewhere?
- I can't stick around
and watch you marry my father.
Neither can I.
Take me with you.
Please, I really need
to get out of here.
Ugh. I have bad taste.
You should be grateful.
I only made you my maid of honor
because Mom made me.
I am.
Thank you.
Okay, you can tone it down.
And I promise never ever
to sleep with your husband,
even though normally
that's what sisters do.
Okay, you are
creeping me out.
In this dress
you will fulfill your destiny.
Getting married
is not my destiny.
It's my choice, like the many
choices I make every day.
Like I chose to become
a lawyer
and I choose to wash my hair
three times a week.
Choices?
[ zips zipper ]
I...do not understand.
Don't you feel
like you're always moving
to the end?
No, Ana Maria,
that's where you're wrong.
Look, when I was your age,
there would be so many nights
I would lay awake,
sometimes till morning,
worrying that I wasn't doing
that thing yet, you know,
that special thing
that you're supposed
to be doing
and that if I didn't do
this thing,
then I would just...die.
The important thing to remember
is you have to move forward,
because doing nothing
is a different kind of death.
[ screams ]
Oh, my God.
What's wrong?
- [ crying ]
- Oh, my God, honey,
what happened?
- Your party
is being awfully loud.
If you could please
just keep it down.
You ruined my gown.
I'm getting married tomorrow.
What am I supposed
to do with this?
We do ask our clients
to watch their weight
in between fittings.
It's not my fault that
you've been starving yourself.
[ gasps ] I will have you know
I've been on a healthy diet
of cold pressed coconut shells
and water. Water!
If you say so.
But there's nothing we can do.
You are not going to blame
this shitty work on Ana Gloria.
Look at these seams.
Blind monkeys
could have done better.
Well, then, you better
try the zoo,
because this store is closing.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
We use our words,
not our hands.
Mm.
I'm looking at a monkey
right now.
You will fix the dress,
and it will be ready
for tomorrow for her wedding.
My daughter cannot look anything
but perfect on her special day.
Her happiness,
both my daughters' happiness,
is very important.
See, if they're not happy...
[ laughs ]
then I'm not happy.
And if I'm not happy,
you should be worried.
Do we understand each other?
Yes, ma'am.
Of course.
The dress will be fixed
in time.
Perfect.
Go get the pins.
Gracias, Mami.
It's going to be fine.
It's going to be perfect.
Bravo.
Okay.
[ romantic music ]
I'm so happy
we'll be together forever.
Stop the car.
What?
Stop the car.
Stop the car! Stop the car!
Stop the car!
[ panting ]
It's so beautiful here.
I think I'm going to throw up.
What's wrong?
Wh-what can I do to help?
I can't run away with you.
You're just make-believe.
Is this make-believe?
You make
a very convincing argument.
Tell me, what do you want?
I want to go back.
This isn't fun anymore.
But, Ariana, I love--
Stop!
Those words
aren't meant for me.
I'm not the girl
you think I am.
And you're not the guy I think
I never knew I wanted you to be.
Wait. You have to drive me back.
I have to find a way back.
Not my problem.
Really? You're really just going
to leave me here all alone?
What kind of a leading man
are you?!
You bastard!
How dare you throw that
into my face?
I told you that in confidence!
- It's an expression.
- Don't play your games with me.
You are the most inconsiderate,
selfish woman I have ever met.
You think only of yourself!
You don't know me.
You're right.
I don't.
The woman I knew would have not
discarded me after we made love.
Our child could be growing
inside of you,
and all you do
is make strange jokes
and break promises.
No, that's not true.
I took a test.
Not pregnant.
[ scoffs ]
Don't you realize
what you're doing?
My father cares for you
like the daughter he never had.
And you deceive him
like he's an idiot,
sleeping with another man.
With you.
Yes, it's always
someone else's fault.
You are never to blame.
You've got to be kidding.
You can't leave me here.
You seem to have
the answer to everything.
Well, it should be no problem
to find your way home.
I guess you can.
[ knocking on door ]
MRS. SOTO:
Can I come in?
You have a call.
It's Tony.
Yes, please.
Please, come in.
You have to see this.
This is
the most amazing thing ever.
Isn't it wonderful?
It's like your own piece
of the ocean,
right here at home.
S.
Um, the phone?
Ah, yes.
Thanks, Mama.
TONY:
Hi.
Ana, uh, it's--it's Tony.
Neighbor.
The doctor?
[ toilet flushing ]
- Are you in the bathroom?
Ah, s,Tony. Hola.
No, I can talk now.
Well, I was, um--
I wanted to check up
on you tonight.
Um, your mother told me
your best friend
is playing at a show tonight,
and if anybody could jog
your memory, it might be Laura.
And she said I could take you,
if--if you wanted to.
A date?
No, no, no.
Well, not a date.
Uh, more like a...
prescription, in the hopes
of getting your memory back.
Okay.
[ thunder ]
[ piano plays
unresolved melody ]
SCHMIDT:
Good evening, Ariana Tomosa.
- [ piano continues ]
- I thought you were--
It's a new song.
It's called The Alternative.
You like it?
I don't understand.
Of course not.
That's obvious.
You never understood.
There's more than one way
to get rid of a gold-digging
orphan whore.
I'm not a whore.
My numbers are still
in the single digits.
That's pretty low
when you factor in college
and summers in Phoenix.
Just remember:
you've been warned.
Enjoy the fireworks.
- What did you do?
- MERCEDES: Seorita Tomosa,
what happened to you?
Mr. De La Roca was looking
everywhere for you.
You were supposed to ride
to the church together.
I told him you left early
without him.
I didn't know what else to say.
[ dramatic music ]
What did you do?
Funny. I was about to ask you
the same question.
Mercedes, you can retire now.
We will need you no further
this evening.
You can't believe a word
this weasel says.
He's not to be trusted.
He's scheming to take over--
It was not his words
I found so convincing.
But--but...
those aren't e-even me.
Well, the last two are.
That's it.
Quit lying to me.
Where were you?
I was waiting for you
at the church.
Was this part of your plan
against me, to humiliate me?
To leave me standing like a fool
at the altar?
You! You were planning
on double-crossing Ariana
this whole time,
whether or not she gave you
the company shares.
Enough!
He is not to blame for this.
As a matter of fact, he's
the only person I can trust now,
after you and my son
betrayed me.
Come!
Let's leave this house of pain.
When we come back,
I want you gone.
But...I have no place to go.
This is not my concern.
Ha!
Oh, good.
Good, Mercedes,
you're still here.
Do you think you could get me
a drink of water or something?
Mercedes?
I am sorry, Seorita Tomosa.
This is too painful for me.
I can no longer watch you
destroy your life.
But...
what happens
when this all ends?
What's going to happen to me?
[ dramatic music ]
That is really up to you.
[ door closes ]
- Ohh.
Say that you want me
all that you want
- TONY: Laura. Hey.
- Hey.
Holding on to the thought
- Ana Maria?
- Yes.
Just checking.
Are you guys to--
Oh, oh, no.
Um, I'm really pretty thirsty.
Actually, uh...okay.
I'll get us some waters.
Okay.
So pretty.
Ow!
That's real too!
[ sobbing ]
[ solemn music ]
[ line out ringing ]
[ phone ringing ]
What's wrong?
Besides from the fact
that I'm stuck
in this other dimension
I don't know how to get out of
and everyone hates me?
They all left.
LAURA: So you've managed to
piss off people in real life,
and now you're pissing off
make-believe people.
ANA MARIA:
Hey.
I'm sorry, girl,
but that's kind of what you do.
That's kind of your thing.
That's not all I do.
[ sighs ]
[ sniffles ]
Well, maybe it is.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for not coming
to your show.
Look, I want you to succeed,
and you are.
You're going to be great--
famous even.
I'm just afraid
I'mgoing to fail.
[ knocking on door ]
[ door creaks open ]
[ whispers ] I'll be
right there, one sec.
ANA MARIA:
Who was that? Where are you?
I'm at the bar.
I'm playing for this producer
I told you about.
I think
she really digs my sound.
That's great.
You should go.
No, no.
Let's figure this out together.
There's got to be a way.
No, you have to go.
People are counting on you.
[ speaking Spanish ]
I think
there's only one thing to do.
The show ends tomorrow.
Go, go. I don't want you
to miss this chance.
No, no, no.
But can you do me a favor?
Anything.
Leave your phone on.
I want to listen.
I love your music.
[ pop music playing ]
[ vocalizing ]
[ vocalizing ]
ARIANA:
Bravo!
[ singing in Spanish ]
[ vocalizing ]
[ bells tolling ]
MR. SOTO:
Princess.
Here.
Is everything okay?
Ana Gloria forgot these.
[ exhales ] When I saw you
running, I thought--
Here, give me your arm.
[ soft piano music ]
Ay, mi'ja.
There are so many
good memories here.
This is where you were baptized,
where you took
your first communion.
I'm so ashamed, but I don't--
I know, you don't remember.
This is not a setup
by your mother.
We just thought--
I just thought
it would be good
to have him around.
- Just in case.
- It's okay.
I better go back inside.
Your mother can't stop crying.
[ chuckles ]
Is this a house call?
Checking on your patient?
[ laughs ]
Uh, no.
I mean, yes,
well, checking on you.
But you know
you're not my patient, right?
Well, that is to say...
it--it wouldn't be unethical
if we...
or you or I or you
wanted to be, uh,
something more.
More...?
More, uh, everything.
When you feel
more like yourself,
like the--like the girl
I think you are.
I hope that's soon.
Me too.
I should really
give this symbol
of everlasting love
to my sister.
Oh, please.
Yeah.
She was too good.
Well, not so good.
Not towards the end.
[ sighs ]
Why?
[ sighs ]
Why?
She was too young.
She was a total bitch.
I don't understand.
It all happened so suddenly.
It must have been
the brain tumor.
Isn't it always that way?
- Thank God.
[ all gasp ]
You guys are here.
I was really worried
for a moment
no one would show up.
[ thunder ]
Aww.
Oh, thank you.
Can you find Father Miguel
and tell him
that we're ready for him?
[ knocks on door ]
Father?
[ dog growling ]
EDUARDO [on TV]: Ariana,
what is the meaning of this?
- [ screams ]
- PRIEST: I know.
I never saw it coming either.
The twists and turns these last
few days have been unbelievable.
I knew it.
Ana Maria,
is everything all right?
- Oh, my God.
- Did she crack again?
Dial 911.
Shh!
It's just starting to get good.
What is the meaning of this?
What is going on?
Ariana faked her death,
gathering all her enemies
for one final confrontation.
Isn't it delicious?
- I died?
Daughter, please, don't look.
Mario, turn it off.
[ barking ]
- Oh, no. He won't let me.
- Oh.
Oscar!
I'm sorry. He's very protective
of his novelas.
The meaning is--
What I mean to say is--
- Tony, please do something.
- [ sighs ]
Ana Maria, please,
the doctor told us--
Don't touch--
Please let me.
[ sighs ]
I have been selfish to you.
To everyone.
I've just been doing
whatever I want,
damned be the consequences,
that I wasn't worried
about your happiness.
Oh, my God, she really does
kind of look like you.
I'm sorry I left you hanging
at the altar.
You deserve better.
And sorry for making out
with your son.
I totally need to work
on my boundary issues.
You deserve an explanation.
I'm just not ready.
And let's be honest here.
You're obviously still hung up
on your dead wife.
I've just been using you
as a piece of meat,
arm candy, eye candy,
all the food categories, and...
not really seeing you
as a real person.
And that's wrong,
because you're kind of a human.
Your honesty is so refreshing.
Makes me want you even more.
We--we don't have
to get married.
All I really want is
to take care of you.
I-I can adopt you.
SCHMIDT:
Unbelievable.
I can't believe
you're falling for this.
Interesting move, Ariana.
I underestimated you.
Planning your own death
and then gaining the sympathy
of the man you betrayed.
You don't look so good.
If I were you,
I'd be more worried
about how you're going
to be covered in bullets.
Armando, careful!
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
Armando, Armando.
Always so impatient.
Ever since you were
a little kid.
[ suspenseful music ]
No!
Mercedes, get back.
This has nothing to do with you.
I would hate
to accidentally kill you.
Good help is so hard to find.
This has everything
to do with me.
Ariana is my daughter.
Tengo un mam!
S, mi amor.
I'm here, right here.
I'm here, my angel.
Don't worry.
We'll get you help.
You are the zombie!
You know, someone who comes back
from the dead.
I am not a zombie!
[ Spanish guitar playing ]
My name is
Rosa Maria Paro Guadalupe
Conchalencha Rigoberta
Delos Milagros.
Many years ago,
I was impregnated
by a very wealthy man.
He insisted
I get rid of my baby.
When I refused, he threw me out
into the street.
I did the only thing
I could do.
I took you to an orphanage,
and I watched you grow
from afar
into this beautiful young woman.
By then I had a new job,
and it occurred to me one day
that you would be a perfect
match for my new employer,
dear Mr. Eduardo.
Forgive me, mi'ja.
SCHMIDT: It's too late
to save your daughter.
It wasn't just me who concocted
this delicious plan of revenge.
You should know--
bad guys rarely work alone.
Then who?
WOMAN:
It was me.
[ dramatic music ]
Mother, you're alive.
My love,
you've come back to me.
MRS. DE LA ROCA:
After the plane crash,
I was left for dead, muerta,
where a local medicine woman
nursed me back to health.
She was able to fix my body,
but not my mind.
I could not remember
anything of my past.
I lived on the streets,
selling my body
for food and shelter.
Until one day,
all my lost memories
came rushing back to me
like a gift from God--
gracias, Dios mo--
and I vowed that I would find
my way back
to you and to my son,
hijito.
And I did,
only to discover
that my faithless husband
had forgotten me
and had moved on
with this bitch!
And now, Eduardo,
the only thing I have left
is a thirst,
a hunger for revenge.
We're running late.
Any final words?
You can't hurt me.
How can you be so sure?
Because I can do this.
[ yelling ]
[ gasps ]
Tony, call me sometime.
[ solemn music ]
- I want my mom and my dad.
- Don't go. You can't go.
Not without letting me
tell you this.
I don't care about the money,
the business,
this stupid vendetta
with my father, I--
I want you.
I love you.
[ thunder ]
Dios mo.
ARMANDO:
Ariana!
We need to talk.
[ gasps ]
Mam, Pap!
Sis!
Oh, my.
How I've missed you all!
Tony?
What are you doing here?
He's been here the whole time,
taking care of you.
Don't you remember?
You have?
I don't think it was me,
exactly.
I mean...
it's complicated.
Tony, can you please check her,
make sure she's really okay?
[ sighs ]
She's never looked better.
[ all laugh ]
Well, if I'm not mistaken,
I believe we have a wedding
to get to.
Are we all ready?
Ready.
She changed her hair.
Ana Maria's back.
Let's enjoy the wedding.
Ooh.
[ speaking Spanish ]
[ romantic music ]
S, Eduardo, s!
But you'll come back to me.
I don't know.
There are so many worlds
out there.
I want to explore them all.
I want to make my own destiny.
I'll wait for you always!
[ groaning ]
[ screams ]
[ screaming ]
I did notsee that coming.
Wait.
How do I look?
Perfect.
Like...model beautiful.
[ phone vibrates ]
I don't know how
to tell you this--
What, do I have
something in my teeth?
Um...
You're good.
You're good.
Your left boob is vibrating.
Is that weird?
Oh, it does that.
It's just my phone.
Oh.
Do you need to get that?
It can wait.
Right.
Right.
Hey, um...
I'm really glad you showed up.
You have no idea how hard
I worked to get here.
I wouldn't have missed it
for the world.
Mmm.
- I love you.
- I love you.
[ squeals ]
I'm getting married!
Okay, go, go.
[ Laura singing in Spanish ]
- [ mouthing words ]
- [ singing in Spanish ]
[ techno music ]
All right, all right,
all right
About time we switched it up
Got a song
playing in my head
Gonna dance
till the sun come up
Got me feeling so brand-new
All my worries
just fade away
Stuck in a rut
so I made a change
And the change I made
just saved the day, uh
And it's safe to say
they don't do it how I do
Living the dream
with my crew
Private plane
when I fly through
The old me been set free
South Beach on a jet ski
You ready to let loose,
then come with me
Step into my fantasy
Young, wild, free, yeah
We live it up, live it up,
live it up, uh-huh
We, we live it up,
come on
Young, wild, free,
wild and free
We live it up, live it up,
live it up
We, we live it up
Hands up
till you touch the stars
Man, the whole world
could be ours
Five-star restaurants,
fancy cars
Who'd have thought
we'd come so far?
Yeah, me neither
You're a crazy
dream weaver
But this right here
feels so real
I can make you
a believer
So don't mess
with my groove
Might just learn
a thing or two
Everybody got something
to prove
Tonight might show you
my best moves
Not concerned
with how the rest do
'cause right now
I feel special
You ready to let loose,
then come with me
Step into my fantasy
[ cheerful guitar music ]
[ female singer vocalizing ]