1
WE COULD BUYANOTHER CA You're a dick!
Dick!
Tell lan this is upside down.
It's for holding plants.
He's gone hipster
trying to draw in clientele.
- But what is this shit?
- An ashtray.
It also works if you ash in it upright.
That's what I do.
I talk to my plants
but they die because I ash into them.
I think it works. Like, rustic.
Sure, sure.
A kid with his mouth open
makes a good ashtray, too.
I missed you!
This though...
This is so ugly, man.
I gotta tell you.
It's really ugly.
It's like, what is it?
I mean, why?
Great.
It's like a parking spot for a pussy.
Like, put it right here.
- You score with this thing?
- Of course, obviously.
- With the visually impaired.
- Where do you get these women?
The Association for the Blind.
- They're blind?
- Of course.
- Oh, perfect.
- This is braille.
- What's funnier than a dead kid?
- What?
A dead kid dressed like a clown.
It's a good one.
Hello, Roger!
- This wine is really good.
- Yes.
Really good.
What... what is she singing in?
Because it's not Spanish.
I've spent 4 years trying.
It's the teacher's fault then.
Gross.
Here, here, take it.
No, wait.
You want to talk about it?
Swear you never
spoke about it before.
I swear.
- Never?
- Never.
- So why play along?
- It seemed like a good game.
It's a child, not a game.
It's for life.
A life together,
like when we were in Barcelona.
It wasn't planned, you fuckwit.
This isn't about you.
Asshole.
YOU DON'T HAVE A STABLE JOB
Hey! Where are you going?
I just want to see the thing happen.
Quit busting my ovaries!
- Go now, please.
- OK.
- Go to the store.
- I'm going.
Should I go up the other side?
- If she can do it, you can.
- But she's got it.
She's so strong and sexy.
Check her out.
I'll show you.
You're gonna love this.
- This shit's so heavy.
- Why is it heavy?
- You go like this.
- Right.
- You open this...
- Right.
- Okay.
- There.
- You smell like pussy.
- There was no soap.
- Dude, I told you seven.
- Well, I'm already eating, so...
- You too. Both of you.
- I like my vagina.
I've got semen for both of you.
LIKE A BEAN
So?
Don't you cry for me...
With a Banjo on my jnee.
- Where have you been?
- Around.
You could've said something.
What's wrong?
I'm going back to Barcelona.
Barcelona?
Why?
So you're leaving me with this mess?
This mess or this kid?
The mess or the kid?
Or are you gonna name him mess?
You're going to be a mother.
Do you even care?
You're going to be a mother.
Are you understanding this or not?
You don't deserve to be a mother,
you know that?
Look at me when I'm talking to you.
Fucking look at me.
- Fucking look at me and leave this.
- Dude!
Leave the fucking wood.
What are you doing?
I've been working all day!
- Go grab it!
- What are you doing?
Go grab it right now.
SINCE YOU'RE HERE
I have a pair of Blacj eyes
Who will taje them from my hands?
On sale for Being deceitful
Because they treated me Bad
Those Blacj eyes, so two-faced
Oh, how you looj at me
Such joy they show for others
But for me just misery
The longer my longing
My love for you only grows
And I spend my nights awaje
Sighing for your love
The longer my longing
My love for you only grows
And I spend my nights...
What's wrong?
I miss Chorizo.
Don't laugh, man.
You miss Chorizo?
- Yes.
- Yes?
When we first bought the piano...
He'd play with me, man.
He'd jump up and
he'd go out the window.
Don't cry. He was a cat pianist?
I thought he was retarded.
- That's why I loved him, man.
- "Because he was like me, man."
Chorizo.
He played so well.
He'd jump up by me.
I once had me a jitty
Who didn't jnow how to float
But since he was retarded
Into the canal he would go...
Ay, my Chorizo
Chorizo the half-wit
Every night he went Behind
the couch to taje a piss
Ay, my Chorizo...
Okay, enough. Enough, enough.
Enough, enough, enough.
We're going out.
- No, I don't want to...
- Yes, listen to me...
Listen. We're going salsa dancing.
- No, not salsa, man!
- Oh, right. Not salsa.
- Don't laugh.
- No salsa, sorry.
I forgot how much Chorizo
liked salsa. Sorry, I spaced out.
- He liked all music.
- All of it, all music.
Hey, let's go out and hook up.
You haven't left the boat in ages.
- You mean, "Let's get laid."
- Right, exactly. Fuck.
You know I'll score all the chicks.
Take it down a notch.
You're rusty. Let's go?
Go get masculine and let's go.
I won over the dark-haired girl.
Quit busting my balls.
Me, the dark-haired girl
and you, the nice one.
No, sorry.
For you.
Oh, thank you.
You're welcome.
Land dry?
It's "firm land". Firm land...
Firm land.