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And Now a Word from Our Sponsor (2012)
Meow!
- Let's get Mikey. - Yeah. - He won't eat it. He hates everything. He liked it! Hey, Mikey! - Hello, ladies. Look at your man. Now back to me. Now back at your man. Now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me. But if he stopped using lady's scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he's me. - Seriously, four feet by five feet. Well, apparently not, because I'm looking right at it. - It is the manager. - Where's the beef?! Turn left. Swan dive into the best night of your life. Excuse me. I think you're the father of one of my kids. No... Oh. Cancun. Spring Break '99. - What? - No? - No. - Oh. - Oops! Yes! Six more tables pledged! With the matching funds, that puts us at 1.3 million. We'll be able to finance the new cancer research centre. Oh, I understand. Yeah, um, I'll talk to you later. Thank you. Bye. Ah. Must be a busy morning for you to greet me without my coffee, Ben. Actually, yeah, we're doing pretty well... just want to get ahead of the day. The Jackson account closed last night. - Great. Your lunch meeting's still good to go, as is the conference call with the board at 3pm. - OK. - The auction dinner planning meeting's been cancelled though. So you actually get to go home before 7pm. OK. Oh, and the, uh, dealership called to say that your new car won't be ready for a few days. - No! - They'll throw in the floor mats for free. - I already get them for free. So you'll have a spare set then. - Sell them on eBay and give the money to the hospital. - Ah, sure thing. Anything else? Oh, just that you look very pretty today. - Why, thank you. Get to work. Toodles. Ah, you're awake. Good. How are you feeling today? Please don't squeeze the Charmin. Sir, do you know your name? A name you can trust. Hi. Dr. Lewis. Excuse me. I was... I was wondering... Can I see you for a second? - Sure, yeah. I'll just be here. Hi, Karen. - Hi. How's life in the fundraising fast lane? - It's fantastic. - Yeah? I've been meaning to tell you what a stellar job you've done ever since you've taken over the chair of the foundation. - Thank you. No, I was just... Is that Adan Kundle? - Yeah. I know him from a long time ago. He's an advertising marketing genius. He taught me everything I know... how to craft a message, how to, you know, align fundraising goals with the motivations of the donors, how to close a deal. He's incredible. Can you tell me what really happened? - Uh, yeah. Um, the police found him unconscious in front of a bunch of TVs in an electronics store. - Is he OK? - Well, physically he's perfectly healthy. But, um, he's having trouble communicating. - Is there anything I can do? - You can go see him if you want. - OK. - Can I get you a cup of coffee? - I would love a cup of coffee. - OK. Thanks, Dr. Lewis. Mr. Kundle. Hi. I'm Karen. You probably don't remember me. Part of the fabric of life. - I took your seminar back in New York in '91. You're amazing. Here we are again, 20 years later. Life's funny that way, huh? - Impossible is nothing. Apparently so. How are you feeling? Like you just walked out of a salon. Like I just walked out of a salon. Why, thank you. Karen, I got your coffee. - Oh. - Good to the last drop. It certainly is. It was good seeing you, Adan. - Seeing is believing. - I got to go be important. Maybe it's just her, maybe it's Maybelline. No. It's just me. How do you handle a hungry man? - Yeah, the commercial will run during the first half of the Super Bowl. Two point five million per 30-second slot. Yeah. That's right, per slot. Uh, absolutely, yeah. Five-point increase in sales. No, no, no, thank you. No, no. That's why you hired me, isn't it? Bye-bye. Put Coke down for the first four I came up with, all right? - OK. - And, um, how many... how many is that for the Super Bowl now? It's 10. Ten including the promo spot. - What? How many? Ten? - Ten. Yeah, I just said 10. - Wow! Yeah. Thirteen this time last year. But never mind. - Sorry. Lucas Foster. Who? Police? Well, what do you want? Is he all right? Good. Good. Thank you. Thank you. I'll, uh, I'll send somebody out straight away, all right? Bye. Mr. Foster? Is everything all right? Adan's in the hospital. That's terrible. He walks out of his office almost a year ago, disappears off the map. Now this. So he's a bit eccentric. Eccentric? No. No, no, no. Adan Kundle always has a plan. - You think he's up to something? - Come on, keep up. Why else would he just magically re-appear? - Uh, maybe he... No, no, no, I don't buy it. Not for a second. Oooh. He's still our boss, for now, isn't he? So get to the hospital. Check up on him. Buy him something... not flowers. Something unique. Did you know that scientists have done studies that show that... kissing has the same effect on the brain as cocaine? Wow. That's so deep. - Are you high right now? - I'm really high. Yeah. And... It's just such a complex behaviour, you know? It uses 28 facial muscles. - I like to work out. Let's... - And it... it burns like two to three calories a minute. - You know, that's true, because, I swear to God, since I started seeing you, I feel, like, more cut, you know? - Yeah. - Yeah? - Yeah. Me too. Thanks for taking me home, Jason. It's not a problem. - I should go. Good night. Yeah? Really? - Yeah. - OK. Good night. Yep. She wants it. Meghan! You're back late from work, huh? I... I really enjoy these... these conversations we're having these days. Nice and short. Bam! Whoa! Super fast! - And mirrors, a whole bunch of mirrors. - Um, I guess, but maybe it's a woman that's driving. - Hot! - Totally hot. She's blonde. - Sir, I can't help you if you don't stop watching the TV. Sir, please! Here! Hello. - Make yourself heard. Thank you. - With bad guys, and a helicopter! - Right. Yeah, all that stuff. It's right... - So, we were discussing rehab programs. Now, there is a great place upstate; it's called Garden Meadows. Well, it's more of a resort than a rehab centre, honestly. And it's as good as it gets. But you have to make the decision to go there yourself. I can't make that decision for you. Do you understand that? Let the journey begin. - OK. - Hi, Susan. - Hey, Karen. What's up? - Just thought I'd drop by and see how the new patient is doing. - You two know each other? - Yeah, we're kind of old friends. Did I overhear you mention Garden Meadows? Yes. I thought that that would be a great place for Adan, if he chooses to go. But unfortunately they don't have a space for another week or so... - Well, if there's anything I can do to help, just let me know. - Yeah, well, he needs a place to stay in the interim. I mean, I would keep him here, but as usual, we need every bed we can get, and... - Oh, I-I-I didn't mean help out that much. I meant I... I mean, I'll help, but, you know, it's just part of the conversation. I didn't mean it, you know? - OK. I know you didn't mean that. - OK. - You don't have to take him in. - OK. - Unless... well, unless you want to. - Only you can prevent forest fires. - Look, you know what, if you don't want to do this... uh, something else will work out. - It's just for a few days, right? - Yeah, it's just for a few days. - Or your money back. - You mean you'll pay me? - And we'll include a Ginsu knife. - Well, I already have one. OK, twist my arm. I'll help. I'll help. - Oh, my god, Karen, you're a saint! Saint Karen. I like that. I like that a lot. OK. I'll get my things. - Only you can prevent wild fires. Mr. Foster? Hi. I am at the hospital. Yeah, I'm sorry, sir, but he's gone. No, he's not dead, he's just been discharged. Yes, sir, I'm on it. Listen, I will get back to you. Ah. - Now, Adan, um, I have a confession to make. I have actually followed your career over the years. I'm kind of a groupie. Some people are into comic books. I... I really like the advertising world. And, uh, I was just wondering if it was possible for you to... to help me come up with some advertising slogans for the hospital for, you know, next week or... You deserve a break today. Right. OK. Oh, hello. Who's he? Uh, Adan. Adan, Meghan. Meghan, Adan. Hi. Bye. - You're being very rude, Meghan. You're right. I am. Let me show you to your room. Some things from... things from the lost and found at the hospital, they donate. This is a... Um... Really? Adan. - Surprise. You're on a mountain peak where I play those sweet sha-la-las you love to hear. Firework colours turn our world upside down. I hope you like water, because we're neck deep in the sweet waters of friendship and trust. You see... - Oh. - ...when you're a man who smells like the fresh scents of Old Spice, you can go anywhere. Unless, of course, you prefer to stay in. - Yeah, commercials are really great, huh? - The length you go to for pleasure. I brought you a shirt. - ...it's like they know it's only a matter of time. Time... the only thing between them and opposable thumbs. Imagine that. Cats... with thumbs. And what if they got together? Gangs of cats with thumbs! And organi... Come on. - # Eat this, eat that # This one's good, this one's bad # - Knock. Knock. - What? - Are we really going to keep doing this dance? Huh? Because I don't like it. It's not fun. I beg to differ. OK. Um, well, it's, uh, totally cool to treat me this way and to act like that, but it's not really cool to behave like that with other people. And the thing is, you know it. - Who is he, anyway? - He's an old friend. He's waiting for a spot at Garden Meadows. What?! And you brought him here? Are you insane?! Maybe. Give me that! - Get your own box. - Give it to me! - You can learn a lot from a dummy. Buckle up. Meghan. Meghan. Hey. Meghan, stop it. - Let it go! - You know how men are about holding the remote control. Let him have it. - It's our TV! - What are you, four years old? And if so, he was here first. - Bizzario here is watching commercials! My show is on! - He is a guest in our home! - I can't believe you'd bring one of your charity cases into our house without telling me first! - He needed help. - So what? We're the neighbourhood kennel for psychos? - He's not a psycho. He just needs a place to stay for a few days until he finds a spot at Garden Meadows. - Mothers are supposed to tell their daughters about bringing home crazies before actually doing it! - Why let those strands of hair turn grey? - I started dyeing my hair the day she turned 13. You know, I try my best to be... ...the cool, open mom to her so that I don't end up like my mother. But no matter how hard I try I just end up being a clich. I've got this cool job in the hospital, and then I come home, and... I'm at the bottom of the food chain of life. I don't even want to come home sometimes. I don't know why I'm telling you this. I'm sorry. I... you know, maybe I need to go to Garden Meadows. I think I would really benefit. - Nothing sucks like an Electrolux. Yeah, it sucks big time. Ah. Thank you, Adan. Have a seat on the... on the couch. In my home. I want you to have this, because I know you want it. - You could learn a lot from a dummy. Buckle your safety belt... - ...apologize, I'll... I'll correct it myself. It's... it's just that I work with a bunch of monkeys here... - Why are you not talking yet? - It's like I said on the phone: he was discharged before I got there. He left with a woman named Karen Hillridge. She works at the hospital as the head of the charity... - That's really boring. What else? - OK. Well, I got her full background check, including credit reports and even her school transcripts. - That's rubbish. Is that it? - It's the best I could do in 10 minutes. Give me 24 hours and I'll go as far back as her ancestors' country of origin. - See, that's why I like you, Jenny. You remind me of me. - Thank you, Mr. Foster. - That wasn't a compliment. Look, I really don't care if you spent too much time in Vietnam or your daddy left you when you were only a stem cell. Just don't even think about coming near me or my stuff. Got it, serial killer? - Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. - Wow. You're like some crazy whacked-out sideshow attraction from an amusement park or something, aren't you? - I'm going to Disneyland. - Oh, good. Let me buy you your ticket. - My life. My car. - No. I insist. - Thanks for your support. - I'm sorry, I don't speak crazy. Hey! Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. Are you OK? - What's going on in there? - Nothing! Right? Relax, it's FedEx. He's here. Coming. Jason. Hey. Is she, uh, ready to go? - Oh, yeah, I'm pretty sure she heard the doorbell ring when you were down the street. And, uh, who's he? He's a friend. It's Adan. - His name's what? - Adan. - Adam? Adan. Adan. Choosing the right life insurance doesn't guarantee you'll live to retirement age. - He's fine. - Heh. Meghan, Jason's... That's romantic. You don't have a curfew, but if you're not home at a reasonable hour, you will, young lady! I heard that. What is it they say? That the ones that are... are closest to you are the ones that end up hurting you the most? I just hope that one day she'll stop pretending that she hates me. - It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken. - A teenager is a whole other story. Crispy. Not fried. Yeah. So, Adan, uh... ...what happened? I mean, the last time I saw you, you weren't, well, you know, consumed with talking in advertising slogans. And now... yeah, well, now you... you do it all the time. - You play like Betty White. - Thanks. I'm a big Betty White fan. But you're avoiding the question. - You've got questions, we've got answers. You're still avoiding. I am what I am. OK. Fine. Well, it's, uh, it's nice being able to spend some time with you. You know... - Quality time. I'm getting used to it. Ah. Good morning. Sorry. Good morning. - We never sleep. - Good to know. Uh, you hungry? - Time to make the donuts. How about cereal? They're magically delicious. Hey, Meghan! It's time to get up! You have to work early today, remember? I was always up and ready to work at her age. Always. Maybe I should have gone to the movie with her. Right? Just to show her that I'm a human being... because I am. You understand, right? Got milk? - Oh, God, I'm so sorry. You must think I'm an idiot. Oh, hello, darling. You know, I don't give you a curfew yet, but coming home at one o'clock when you have to work is not a really good idea. And please don't do that mocking thing with your mouth right now. Please. Thank you. - It is so nice to wake up to your morning lectures, Mother. - Oh, well, that's good because there's going to be another one this afternoon. I hope you can make it. - Don't be mean. - I'm not being mean, I'm being sarcastic. What's going on? What's the matter, patter? - Nothing. - What's wrong? - Nothing. - Yes, there is. What's wrong? - Nothing! - What's wrong? - Everything. - Yes? - Whatever. I'm just cranky, that's all. - I know. - It's my time of the month. Oh. - Happy now? - Yes, I am. At least now I understand. - Bayer works wonders. Thanks. I didn't need that. Ohhhh. Just being nice. Light conversation. I think she needs more than Bayer. Hello? - Lucas Foster, President of Kundle Advertising. - Mr. Foster? How'd you get my number? - Uh, the hospital gave it to me. Hope you don't mind. I understand you're looking after our CEO, Adan. - Um, yes, I am. - That's really nice of you. How is he? - Um, he... he's doing great, you know, he really is, except for his slogan speech. - Can I talk to him? - Talk to him? - Yeah. - Head for the border. - Uh, no, he's... he's taking a nap right now. - Yeah. I really need to see him. - I don't... I don't know. - I understand you might be busy, but this is really important. - You know it makes sense. - Um, OK, um, let's see each other for lunch then. Good. Hm. He hung up. So I guess we're going to meet him for lunch. - You look like you're in good spirits, Adan. - Small wonder. - Yeah. So, Karen, I heard you're doing wonderful things for the hospital. Yes, I am. - OK, well, if there's anything I can do, then just let me know. Mm, there is, actually. I have two tables left for the annual gala. - Oh, she's good. Some of our best men are women. - Can't argue with that, can you? I'd be happy to buy two tables. - Great. - Adan, do you need anything... from me? - A little dab'll do ya. - Anything else? - Even your best friends wouldn't tell you. - He's talking in slogans, isn't he? Is he talking in slogans? Yeah. - Well, is it a joke? - No. It's not a joke. That's how he speaks now. Are you two close? - Huh? Yeah. Yes. Of course, yeah, yeah, he taught me everything I know. - Even you can have a body like mine. - Thank you. Excuse me. - Don't you wish everyone used Dial? - Jenny? Stop everything, go through Adan's contracts, anything and everything to do with his deal. Got it? Good. Thank you for waiting. I've had a brilliant idea. So, I'm going to put Adan up in a five-star hotel until we can sort through these things, yeah? - Not necessary. - I know what a burden this is for you too... - It's not a burden. - Well, why don't you bring Adan in so we could discuss it? - I've actually really enjoyed reconnecting with him. - And the road will never be the same. - Fine, fine, I'm... I'm all right with that. You two, you've got a little thing going on, don't you? Cute. But I would love for you to come by the office just to see how things are running now. Any time, any place. All right, I'm gonna go. - Zoom, zoom. - Zoom, zoom. Karen, I'm really looking forward o seeing you at the gala. Bring your cheque book. Yeah. Thank you. It's such a pretty day. Hey, let's go outside. Adan? No, don't do it. Don't do it. Not a good idea. Not a good idea. Top breeders recommend it. - What? No. No, they don't. - Four out of five dentists recommend it. - Why are you talking like this? Because I'm worth it. - OK, as amusing as it is for you, Adan, the real world isn't a bunch of commercials on TV. I... I wish it were, trust me, for what's in my head too sometimes. But you can't just flip the channel whenever you don't like what you see in front of you. You can't. Now, I'm trying to make you feel comfortable here, right? I'm... I just want you to meet me half way. OK? Delta's ready when you are. - And in times like these, the country needs a president who gets the job done right, not a man who just gets the job. Senator James Allen: he's running for president and he'll get the job done right. - I want you to tell me how I'm meant to be feeling. What is this meant to make me feel? - Well, I think it... - No, no, no, no. I'll tell you: bored. That's what. - Bored? No... - So the next time you decide to go off-script, a script that I provided you with, don't! - I-I, but I... - I-I-I-I agree, it's all your fault. Film school grad. Excuse me. - Yes? Adan Kundle. - Uh, yes. I'm still going through the agreements, but I will let you know the second I find something. Jenny. Yes? - I want to tell you a little story. - OK. - There was once this little scrappy English boy. He had a really shitty life and even shittier dad. He decided when he grew up he wanted to be powerful and to have it all. He thought it would make him happy. He thought it would fill that void, you know? Guess what? It only bloody well worked. He was the happiest son of a bitch in the universe. - Hm. - Hm. It's nice, isn't it? Mm-hmm. - The thing is, he never wanted to be sad again. So he strived, he worked hard to make sure he stayed happy. He'd do anything it took, and that included firing anyone who got in his way. I will make you happy, sir. Oh, I know. Talk, they'll listen. - He's right. Uh, Meghan, we need to talk. - Can I please finish this delicious mystery fowl first? - Finger lickin' good. - He likes it. - He's being sarcastic, Mom. Even I know that. - I need you to do me a favour. - You need me to drive him to the SPCA so they can find him a good home? - Good one, but no. I have to go into the office tomorrow, and I know you're not working, so can you keep him company for the day? Is that OK with you? - Does she or doesn't she? - This is a paying gig, right? - Oh, of course. Money buys everything. Even family resorts to blackmail every now and then. Twenty-five dollars. Fifty. Plus expenses. And it's not blackmail, it's extortion. - How about we call it earning your allowance, and then I pay you nothing? How does that sound? - Uh, really bad. OK, why don't we call it food allowance because I inherited your cooking gene? Thirty five. But I really need you to look after him, all right? No strangers in the house, and absolutely no TV. Got it? Deal? Deal. - Apparently space isn't the final frontier. - Great. And just make him feel comfortable. - Mom, no crazy person ever feels comfortable. That's why they're crazy. Right? I am here only for the beer. How do I look? Say yes to beautiful. - Call me if there's an emergency. Don't worry, we won't. Wassup? - Not me. I'm going back to bed. - Yo quiero Taco Bell? I don't do breakfast. But I can tell you my rules of disengagement. You must do exactly as I say, you must obey my every command, and you must stay at least five feet away from me at all times... that includes right now. Got it? It is so nice to see that someone else in this world is more screwed up than me. - I mean, that one's all right. It's a bit boring, though. And this one, just rubbish. It's rubbish. Jenny, what do you think? - Yeah, yeah, it's rubbish. - Rubbish. Go down to post, try and salvage something out of that rubbish. Tell me you got something for me. - Something. - Yeah? - Mm-hmm. - Oh look, she's still here. - She is still here. Bye-bye. - Speak. - Take a look. That says that in our contracts we have a termination clause which states that the employer can terminate the contract if the employee becomes mentally ill. - So all I have to do is get a shrink on record to say that he's nuts, and I'm done. - Mm-hmm. But... - But? - There's an easier and more convincing way. - I'm getting very excited. - An objective third party. Someone Adan knows. It's hard to discredit a family member or a friend's opinion, but even better if it's someone that's in his life right now. - Have I ever told you how good at your job you are? No. Oh, well. - I just fall for that every time. - Short sales or bank-owned properties or commercial real estate, agents who can help speed up the process no matter how intricate. And that's good news whether you're trying to sell or hoping to buy. Because the only sign you really want to see is "Sold". Nobody sells more real estate than Remax. - So will you? I hope so. I know so. Ice cream? Let's make things interesting. - I'm not going to try it. You try it. I'm gettin' it... - The one, the only, In Styler rotate... - Meltdown... - The sand between your toes. That's disgusting. - He likes it! Hey, Mikey! - It's essential. - Meltdown. - Meltdown. - He likes it! He likes it! He likes it! I hope so. I know so. Do you want a man who smells like he can bake you a gourmet cake in the dream kitchen he built you with his own hands? Of course... - ...you know it's only a matter of time. - Regular Life and Cinnamon Life. - Where's the beef? - Do you feel it? The sand between your toes. - It proves if you don't fuck with your safety belt, the loser is... Oh, poop already! - No, that satellite has to have an Impact Smart Hard Drive. - Meltdown. - Right now. - Oh, c'est incroyable! T'entends a chrie? - Only the In Styler combines a rotating heated... - Seriously, four feet by five feet... - Adan? My god. Snap out of it. Snap out of it! What? Unwrap paradise. - Jesus. - Must-see TV. Better? - Takes a lickin', keeps on tickin'. - You killed the TV! - Meghan, what did you do? - What did I do? I didn't do anything! - What did you do when I was gone? - What are you talking about? - Where did you go? - We went on a sightseeing tou... - What did I say?! What did I say?! - What are you talking about?! - I said no TV! - I'm sorry! - I said no TV! - I said I was sorry! - I said no TV. - OK, what do you want me to do? Go back in time? - Yes, that's what I want you to do... go back in time, let's do it all over again! - Great! Great! Then we can both go back, Mother, say about two years, and you can fix everything that you did wrong! And don't even pretend you don't know what I'm talking about! Every time you look at me, I can feel it! You're in complete denial! I'm not in denial. - We earn our wings every day. Sell it somewhere else. Mom, I'm sorry, OK? I didn't mean to say that. I was just pissed. Say something. Please. - I'm not that good at playing Supermom. I can't even fit into the joke ones they sell at the mall anymore. The only way for me to deal with it is by not dealing. If I didn't, I'd cry all the time. And why do you think I work so hard at the hospital? It's all just a distraction. - I don't want to end up hating each other forever. Neither. I mean, look at us. One day we're gonna end up arguing ourselves to death over a spoon. A spoon? Yeah, a spoon. - It wouldn't even be a good spoon. Some... cheap plastic spoon... ...that's melted in the dishwasher. - And we'd have to get a new dishwasher. Come here, give me a hug. I love you. Stupid catalyst spoon. This Bud's for you. - Oh, that's very sweet of you, Adan. Thank you. You gave me quite a scare in there, you know? Pressure's off. - What happened in there, it's not OK. You know that, right? I know you're very aware of what's going on. Perhaps more than most people. But you don't give anything out about yourself. - Never let 'em see you sweat. - What happened to you? Not just recently, but for the last 20 years. - Pleasing people the world over. - Welcome, Senator. It's so nice to see you. If you'll just follow me. - I know where I'm going. OK. - It's your place. You own this place, man. Wow. You're amazing. You good? You OK? You're great. You're amazing. Hello. Mr. Kundle. It's a pleasure to have you back. Hi. If you'll just come this way. Oh, just Mr. Kundle. - Oh, but, I... I can't come? I don't like lobbies. It's not my thing. - Leave the driving to us. Really? - If it ain't broke... - Don't fix it. You're good? You're in good hands? Mr. Kundle? In here. So, Mr. Foster will be with you shortly. Would you like something to drink? Crisp, clean, no caffeine. Hm. Water? OK. There you go. Thank you. Whew. - Senator Allen, hello. - Cut the dog and pony act, Lucas. What the hell's going on with my campaign? - What? - I was expecting to see this new commercial of yours a week ago. - It's ready. - So let's see it. It's down in post-production, colour correction, sound edits, and all that boring stuff. - Ah, there's the dog. - Uh... It's gonna be ready tomorrow, OK? And it's gonna be perfect. Everything you ever wanted and more. - And there's the pony. If it's not ready tomorrow I'm going to have a talk with Chance Williams. - There's no need, is there? I've got my best man on the job. - Oh, yeah? Who? - Me. - That's why I don't believe it. Pff... Ohhh. Ahhh. Ahhh. Oooh. Adan. Aren't you supposed to be on sabbatical? Does that mean you're back? - The next stage. - I know what you mean. Got to recharge the old batteries every once in a while myself. Just like making a fresh start, right? There is no equal. - Well, between you and me, I'm thrilled you're here. Lucas has been jerking me around for weeks, and I'm losing confidence in the firm. - Time for clarity. - Damn straight it is. So, what's my new campaign slogan? Can you hear me now? - Yes, Adan, I can hear you just fine. Can you hear me now? Simple... but powerful. And you can add anything you want to it. Like: "We can fix healthcare. Can you hear me now?" Or: "I'm going to put a stop to corporate greed. Can you hear me now?" It's brilliant, Adan. I could win with it. I like the way you think, Adan. Would you ever consider coming to Washington to be part of my administration if we win? - What's in your wallet? - Probably not enough for a guy like you. See what I mean? - But I'll make it happen anyway because you say it like it is. 7 Up yours. - All right, where is he? - I don't know. He was right here! For God's sake. That actually works. I don't know why you wouldn't tell me about the ad campaign, Lucas. Adan just filled me in, and it sounds fine. Good thing he's come back when he has. - But... - I'm going to get myself a bite to eat, and when I come back I want you to tell me exactly how you're going to push this ad campaign of ours. Why don't you just try to tell me what was going on down there, hmm? No? OK, well, let me tell you, and it pains me to say this, but you're not fit to run this company anymore. So what's it going to take? How much money is it going to take for you to live happily ever after and piss off? - Financial security doesn't have to be a fairytale. - But that's not true, is it? And that's the beauty of the market economy. Everything can be bought and sold, even you. Some things money can't buy. Bullshit! Whew. You know that. Capitalist tool. - Name calling. Name calling, huh? Oh, you're stooping that low, are you? Well, two can play that game. What about this? Huh? It's something to do with your brain. Think again. - Executive education. - You're old enough to know better. - Live in your world, play in ours. - Show your true colors. - It's foolproof. - Silly rabbit. Trix are for kids. - Bite into it. - Sharp pictures even if you're not. - Now, that's refreshing. - That's right up your street for value. Dangerously entertaining. His master's voice. And the legend rolls on. - I hope you know what you're forcing me to do. Get out. - I don't like lobbies. - OK. Karen? - Yes? - Would you like to go out for dinner with me? - Sure. - Yeah? - I've had all my shots at the hospital. - Ah. - Great. - Great. Can't wait. - Deal. - Deal. Ah. - ...the country needs a president who gets the job done right, not just a man who gets the job. I'm Senator James Allen. Can you hear me now? Jenny? Jenny! - Yes? - Go down to post. - Mm-hmm. - Tell them... that this is the commercial we're going to use for the senator. OK. Do it now. Yes, Mr. Foster. Challenge everything. This is Karen. Oh, no, no, I didn't forget. I'm on my way there now. Thank you. - See the USA in your Chevrolet. What? How did you know? Hi. - Miss Hillridge. It's so nice to see you again. - You too, Glenda. - It's just out back. Come on. - Great. - Whew! - This is your lucky day. We have a special promotion on this particular car. Not only do you get a $4,000 factory rebate, but, just for you, I'll throw in the floor mats for free. So, what do you say? Ready to fall in love with this baby? - The Camaro convertible is the finest sports car GM has to offer. Truly individual. Uncompromising quality, purity, simplicity. A design that flies in the face of convention. Exquisite detail with every amenity imaginable. Inside, its sleek interior, our telling custom touches, a classic with a dash of the unexpected, designed to trigger actions and reactions. More features, more flexibility. It's got the power to astonish you. Stunningly bold, crafted to endure both time and trend... ...with remarkable operational features. A masterpiece of quality. Understated elegance, unbelievable attention to detail. For the ultimate in styling, versatility... ...its integral strength, its easy handling, its luxury, its sleek, smooth, and aggressively dynamic design, it's a good reason to take the long way home! It's practically perfect. One of the finer things in life is finally affordable! So rare and available to so few. Why? Just because. So, come on, let the winds of self-expression prevail, indulge your whim, snub convention... ...live an adventure of pure luxury. Buy now with no money down. your experience begins the moment you arrive. With our special dealer financing, you can be out the door today... tax, licensing, federal emission fees extra, offer not available in certain cities. Come on down to your GM dealer, check out the Camaro convertible today. - Why don't you think about that for a while? Ready to roll? And then after college I took a year off and I just... I travelled. Europe, China, North Africa, Australia. Detroit. - Mm. - When you're young, it's amazing what you can do with very little money and a high tolerance for bad sleeping conditions. - No. It's amazing when you got loads of money. - So, um, why did you invite me here? Why do you think? Adan. - You're afraid he might do something that doesn't suit your best interests? - No, no, no. I'm afraid for the interests of the company, 'cause it takes a lot, you know, to... to uphold image. I mean, I just can't even tell you how much better that is. Wow! - Does he have to stare like that? - He's harmless. Just think of him as a house pet. - But... he's not going to be around us all night, is he? You got something you want to say to me, man? - Have you spoken to your doctor about erectile dysfunction? That's not funny, man. Let's get some air, Head out back where we won't be disturbed. Cosmos. So? - I like your boat. - Two point five million. Paid cash. - Do you have anything for motion sickness? - Um... - I hear looking at the horizon's good. - You know, I-I might have some... in this cupboard. - Oh, no. No. No. I'm sorry. What are you sorry for? What? - You were... you were going to kiss me. That's ridiculous. What'd you mean? - You were leaning in for a kiss. You were making a play. - No. That's delusional, to be honest. I don't know why you think that. - Let's just drop it. Yeah. Let's drop it. - What happened between the two of you? - What? - Adan. He left. I wouldn't have kissed you anyway; you're not my type. Whoa. Slow down, there. Whoa... - Shh. Just relax. - OK, Jason... Get off me! Stop it! Now I'm gonna kick your ass. You are so not even worth... Asshole! - Cavity protection you can trust. Thanks. Oh, hi. Hey, Mom. - Hi, honey. - Adan and I thought it would be fun if we took a little daycation together tomorrow. You two had a conversation? Yeah. Kinda. Adan, I really want to know how you see things. Is there a way for me to do that? Think different. - Like, when you look at something, you see something totally different... a can of soup, or look at a car... ...the rain... me. You see it like a commercial. It's kind of beautiful. The happiest place on earth. Ah. It's for you. Cannonball! Unbelievable. Unbelievable. - Thank you so much, sweetheart. I am, so are you. - I didn't mean it like that and you know it. Give me that thing! - Adan Kundle is not fit to run the company. - But he owns the company. - So? - Why humiliate him? Why force him out? - I tried to buy him out, but he didn't take the money. Did you know that? All right, listen, why don't we all calm down here, OK? Why don't you sit down with me? Let's take a breath. OK? All I want is what's best for the three of us. You can make that happen. - Me? Yeah, you. Yeah. What I want is an objective point of view so you can tell the board that he's not fit to run the company. - You mean to call him crazy? I don't want to do that. - You know that clinic that you want to build? I can promise you, in writing, that Kundle Advertising will build it and fund it. - You really burn me up. - What are you doing? - Off. - What are you'd... - Off. It doesn't work. - Th-that's weird. It's just weird. Am I still the bad guy? Yeah. - All right. It's time for you to go. Toodle-oo. You've got a couple of hours to think about it. I can write the papers up, all right? Bye-bye. You're a sadist. Hi, sweetheart. Hey, Mom. - I can still smell his scent on his clothes. I miss him too, Mom. Here, sit down. Meghan, there is never going to be a good time to talk about this. Mom, when Dad died... ...and I went to the hospital 'cause I wanted to see him... ...and you were already there, and I went in and the nurse stopped me from seeing him... ...why did you do that? He was so... ...he was so alive. And then he wasn't, and... ...I didn't want you to see him like that. - You can't protect me from real life, Mom. He was my dad. - I know. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything. - For everything else, there's MasterCard. - Do you know what you're going to do tomorrow? No, I don't. - You know he likes you, right? Come on. Don't tell me you don't think he's hot. - I think he's an attractive man. - That's mom talk for hot. Just don't be surprised when he says some weird commercial slogan like, "Is it in you?" - Meghan. - "Good to the last drop." - "Fill it to the rim with Brim." - And did you and Lucas Foster continue to communicate over the past year? - There's a lion on my egg. Would you say that the two of you were, uh, adversaries rather than coworkers? - Is your man getting enough? One last question, Adan. Do you believe that you can continue to be CEO for Kundle Advertising? - One in 25 men are colour blind. The other 24 are just dressed that way. - Miss Hillridge, Lucas stated that you had, uh, some things to say in regards to Adan's issue. Um... yes. I've had the pleasure of spending the last several days with Adan, and, um... I am reluctant to call him crazy, but I do think he has a condition and will benefit greatly from the help at Garden Meadows. - Thank you, Miss Hillridge. Personal opinions aside, Adan, I don't want to humiliate you by forcing you into a lengthy boardroom meeting to deal with your issue. It's a private matter, and I think it's better to keep it that way. Simply put, I believe that you are no longer capable of leading this company. Therefore, Lucas will be made CEO of Kundle Advertising immediately. - Thank you, Chairman. - Thank you for coming on such short notice. Good day. Adan. Can I have a word? Excuse me. I won. I got the company. You're just a joke, really. A walking tagline. Don't dream it. Drive it. I'm glad we agree. The thing is, it wasn't about you and me. It certainly wasn't about the clients... Ford, Google, Microsoft, Shell, they're coming to us 'cause they have no idea what it's about either. But you and me, we really know. We know. We all strive for that moment, that moment of clarity, that moment where everything makes sense, that one blissful moment where we cease to be insignificant... ...where we're whole, complete, perfect. But it's hard. It is hard to get to that place. In fact, it's almost impossible, but we sell it. We sell it. Even if it's fleeting. Even if it's a millisecond of absolute joy, and then... we sell it. And it's worth it. And you know that still. It's worth it. It's starting the engine of that brand-new sports car. It's slipping your feet into those beautiful Italian leather shoes. It's opening up that bottle of expensive wine that none of your friends knew about. It's buying that thing. You know, that thing, that thing that everybody else wants and you've got. We tell the world that they can be who they were meant to be... ...even if it isn't true. Not everyone can see it. But your dentist can. Rehab is for quitters. A diamond is forever. It's not "goodbye". It's more like "see you soon". - Getting there is half the fun. Being there is all of it. Hello, Adan. I'm Mary. I'll be taking care of you while you stay with us. If you'll come with me, I'll get you started right away. - Nobody said this was going to be easy. - If you wait right here, Adan, I'll get you your room key. - ...I've been telling everyone, it's so easy a cave man could do it. I wouldn't be having an existential meltdown right now. And in times like these, the country needs a president who gets the job done right, not just a man who gets the job. I'm Senator James Allen. Can you hear me now? Adan? Adan? This is your lucky day. We have a special promotion on this particular car. Not only do you get a $4,000 factory rebate, but, just for you, I'll throw in those floor mats for free. So, what do you think? Ready to fall in love with this baby? - # The Camaro convertible is the finest sports car GM has to offer # # Truly individual, uncompromising quality # # Purity, simplicity, a design that flies in the face of convention # # Exquisite detail with every amenity imaginable # # Inside, its sleek interior, our telling custom touches # # A classic with a dash of the unexpected # # More features, more flexibility # # It's got the power to astonish youuuuu # # Stunningly bold, crafted to endure both time and trend # # With remarkable operational features # # A masterpiece of quality # Understated elegance # Unbelievable attention to detail # # For the ultimate in styling, versatility # # For its integral strength # Its easy handling, its luxury # # Its smooth, sleek aggressively dynamic design # # It's a good excuse to take a long way hooooome! # # Finally, one of the finer things in life is affordable # # So rare # And available to so few # Why? Just because # Sooooo let the winds of self-expression prevail # # Indulge your whim # Snub convention # And live an adventure of pure luxury # # Buy now with no money down # Your experience begins the moment you arrive # # With our special dealer financing # # You can be out the door todayyyyy # # Tax, licensing, federal emission fees extra # Some... cities... don't... offer it. Come on down to your GM dealership, check out the Camaro convertible today. - Why don't you have a think about that for a while? - That's a wrap. - Is that a wrap? |
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