You should get a discount,
if you die visiting your beloved.
I don't know why you picked
the hilltop.
Not exactly like you can take
in the view.
Anyway...
Happy Birthday Sarah.
Oh, no!
No, no, no, no, no!
You give me a present.
I'll give you a present.
Bingo.
Ten foot ceilings,
original Georgian classic cornices.
We have rich quartersawn oak floors.
You don't find quality craftsmanship
in anything that is built today.
We have a formal dining room.
French doors opening to the patio.
And this is the kitchen.
Double Viking Range.
Too expensive.
What? Are you an appraiser?
5.7, 5.8 tops.
Mister Little, I think
what Le Duc is asking
is just whether there might be
a little wiggle room in the price?
- He loves the house.
- Tour is over.
Oren. Please. No one meant
any offense with the verbal offer.
Let me explain something to you.
Wiggle room is squeezing into
a pair of pants too small
and hoping they don't split.
You got enough wiggle room
you can call extortion a loan.
- Kidnaping, a get together.
- Point taken.
Probably not the right term
for a three million dollar disparity.
By the way, we're not Chinese.
Rape is just another sign
of affection.
- What do you mean you're not Chinese?
- Vietnamese.
Well, I was in the area.
Sorry this didn't work out, Oren.
He was a cash buyer.
This house is worth 8.6 million,
that's what it's going to sell for.
I have other clients flying in.
They saw the house on the Internet.
Thursday at noon?
- Where are they from?
- Black.
I can't...
Cats!
Oh my, what are those kids doing
here, they came out of nowhere.
Oh, my God.
I'll see you tomorrow. Okay.
Bye kids.
- Oh, my gosh!
- Hey, Leah! - What?
- Is the noise okay?
- No. I love the commotion, are you kidding?
Look what I taught these guys.
Boys! Mister Little.
Too much noise!
Too much noise!
I love that finger wag.
Nice touch guys. Oh, mojito, Kate?
Oh, desperate for one.
Too much noise!
Too much noise!
Dog!
- Touch my car and I'll have you spayed.
- Neutered.
For Pete's sake, cut their hair!
Dress them like men!
Is what you're going to say really
worth what I'm about to say back.
Oh, okay...
- Would you care to join us, Mr. Little?
- Who's 'us'?
- Kate. She's coming down for a mojito.
- Cheers.
You know you should have let them
move downstairs with the children
and then you could
have taken their apartment.
This is the one that was available,
this is the one I took.
But they told the manager
they wanted your place
before it was even empty. If you ask
me something fishy went on for you...
I was the number one
realtor in sales,
seven years in a row,
back in the 90's. Entire county.
I know everybody.
And half of everybody I know,
thinks they know me, so...
complain to the manager.
- Give me the snake!
- No!
Too much noise.
Too much noise!
Too much noise!
If this is where number one lives?
God help number two.
Hey, buddy.
You all right?
What's this?
Now, what dumb ass would shoot you
with a paint ball gun.
Okay, I like this drink,
but I think it's a little...
- Evening.
- Hello!
- How are you feeling?
- Good.
If he parked over just
a little bit...
we wouldn't have to hunt
for a space on the street.
Complain to the manager.
- Hey, Peter. How was that water?
- Choppy.
- Choppy?
- Come on, let's get you out of this wet suit.
Put this guy on, put the towel up.
Is that enough for you?
For Pete's sake, will you cover your
dick, I'm trying to eat a sandwich.
Is that language really necessary?
- Complain to the manager.
- We have. Everyone has.
- Well I...
- Oh, everyone?
And we're calling again tomorrow
to tell her how rude
and selfish you are.
So I got a dick in my face,
right, somehow I'm to blame.
He said dick!
- Okay...
- You called the manager on me, huh?
Yeah, a number of times actually.
Well during one of those times
did she happen to mention
that I own this building.
- You own...
- Little Shangri-la.
Little...
Shangri-la.
Something to think about the next
time you get an itch to rat me out.
Look, I don't care
if you do own the building.
My wife is going to give birth soon.
Yesterday we had to park
a block away
because you refuse to move
your car just a few feet.
Please share the drive way.
- Or what?
- Or nothing.
I'm asking as a favor.
You need to have
a little compassion. Okay?
Sorry about my dick.
Okay...
My wife died of cancer.
For two years, I bathed her,
I changed her...
I cooked for her. I fed her.
I even prayed for her.
And I cried all
I'm ever going to cry.
I had compassion.
- Claire.
- Oren.
- Good morning, Oren. Today at noon?
- Wouldn't miss it, Teddy.
The house is not worth 8 million.
And it's 'Ted.'
8.6 million, Teddy.
- How long have you been in the business?
- Seven years.
- Everyday is better than the last.
- Don't be a smart ass.
We've been here since your
Grandfather started this business
44 years ago. So where do you get
the gall to second guess
- the listing of an Oren Little?
- I don't have gall, Grandma.
I have comps. And they
don't support an 8 million...
Excuse me,
an 8.6 million dollar list price.
When he was a baby, he used to play
with his willy
like it was a rambunctious puppy.
All I need is just one last sale
before I cast my line in the river.
And if he can help me,
I'll play with his willy.
The only way you're going to get
anywhere near a river is if you...
lower the asking price.
You'll get 5.8,
not a penny more.
And you'll get hit by a bus if the
driver does what he's paid to do.
That's a Viking 48H duel fuel range.
With a convection oven.
A Sub-Zero refrigerator and freezer.
Both energy star and Kosher certified
- if you're Sammy Davis Junior.
- Who?
Look at this, two of them here
and neither one of them knows
who Sammy Davis Junior is.
Who is he?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
We have a Thermador
dishwasher here...
and Clive Christian cabinetry
all the way around.
If you'll wait outside
I'll join you after the showing.
- You're selling our house?
- One client at a time.
- I thought Common owned this house.
- Who's Common?
- Dad?
- One client at a time, Luke!
- We've seen enough.
- The children's bedrooms and game room are upstairs.
I like the new kitchen.
So is my bedroom the same...
or did you put a picture of a kid
who's not an addict in that room?
What are you doing here?
I don't know, I thought
I should check in...
in every death or ten years,
whichever comes first.
You still got the scar
from rolling down the hill.
Yeah, you shouldn't buried mom
on a mountaintop.
It was a hill.
And the only reason you rolled down
it is cause you were so high,
you passed out and hit your head
on a gravestone.
- Well I'm sober now.
- Well good for you.
And I'm going to prison.
Perfect.
- I shouldn't ask you this...
- That's a bad start to a sentence.
I need you to take care
of my daughter while I'm gone.
You've got a daughter?
Heroin's an ugly drug that gave me
a beautiful girl.
Her name is Sarah.
- That was your mother's name!
- She'll be ten next month.
- She's got no where else to go, Dad.
- Where's the mother?
The mother's family?
I'm going to have to say no.
- They're going to send her to foster care.
- I'm living in a four-plex.
I've got all my things there.
I can barely turn around.
- It's only 9 months. 6 months with good behavior.
- I can't.
Look, if I had anybody else I could
turn to, I wouldn't be here.
I already tried to raise a kid.
It didn't work out.
You, a grandfather.
Christ and ice and Mary
in a penalty box!
I'd escape to that cabin
of yours right now.
Thank you!
This next song...
Oh, my gosh.
Anyway, oh, dear, what is this?
Congratulations to Dan and Samantha.
Is that what you're telling me.
Dan, Samantha where are you?
There you are.
I'm so happy for you,
it's your 30th wedding anniversary.
- Thank you.
- 30 years.
You know I was married for 30 years.
And I know if my husband hadn't died
of an undetected aneurism...
he'd be with me here tonight.
And we'd be singing...
Ma'am, there's no smoking in here.
Good, you're too young to smoke.
What kind of act is this?
All she does is cry.
I can't...
I'm going to go over there for now.
Just going to get some air.
Little Shangri-la.
Oh, my God... I'm sorry I thought
I heard somebody.
Are you okay?
No, yeah.
I'm fine.
It's just something that I do.
- You are a good cook.
- Really?
My wife, she was a good cook.
Sarah Elizabeth.
- Sarah Beth.
- Beautiful name.
Eugene.
Not so much in the name you know,
but... He was a really beautiful man.
Not at all in the name.
Do people really let you get away
with being you.
Are you going to eat all this?
- No, no. Would you like some?
- Only if you're...
I'll get you a plate, okay.
And maybe a glass.
You have a very nice voice.
You think so? I don't know.
- Haunting.
- Well, thank you, I guess.
Your patter on the other hand.
I know, I know. I just started this
singing thing, I can't like...
you like...
It won't... You know, I don't know,
it's like out of my mouth.
I think it's a basic rule that
between songs you keep any references
to aneurisms
or dead loved ones down to a minimum.
Yeah, I know.
I gotta work on that.
And when you sing 'Cry me a river',
it doesn't have to be
the whole river.
Right, I do get a little emotional.
So you've said.
- This is really good pasta.
- So you've said...
- You ever just run out of things to say?
- No.
Good pasta.
You!
- What do you think you're doing?
- It's just nine months.
- I told you, I have no room.
- What's going on?
It's my son.
He's on his way to jail.
But who's that?
That's my grand daughter.
She's probably Guatemalan.
- What?
- He had sex with a maid once.
Dad, this is Sarah.
Sarah this is your...
- Oren.
- Nice to meet you.
You're pretty. Do you know that?
Oh my God, look at you.
Look how beautiful you are.
I'm Leah.
- How old are you?
- Ten on my birthday.
Next Friday.
Okay.
- Daddy's got to go now. I'm going to write you everyday.
- No.
- I love you so much.
- Don't leave me! No, no.
It's okay.
Grandpa's going to take care of you.
Oh, now I'm grandpa?
What happened to Oren?
Don't worry. It's going to be okay.
I'm going to make sure
that you're safe.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Hey, wait a minute.
What's, what's with the dog?
He's a stray, I found him
by the house. Sarah loves him.
- She named him Paint.
- Here, it's okay.
You want to come inside,
have some ice cream?
Let's go.
Let's go.
What is it with you?
You only shit where I live?
Am I going to stay here with you?
Well, I don't really know.
I mean, this is all kind of new.
- Can I have some more ice cream?
- Of course you can.
One second.
- Is she okay?
- Well she's calmed down. - Good.
- I've got to go to work...
- Slow down. What's the game plan here?
I don't know.
I don't know.
- Can you watch her for today?
- Yeah, sure I can watch her, but...
- Just a second...
- I'll figure it out.
Now I'm the shit bag.
I'm not the one going to jail.
You know what Luke was thinking
when he was rolling down that hill?
He wasn't thinking.
Or he wouldn't have shown up stoned
at his mother's funeral.
He was thinking that the last person
who really loved him had just died.
- You know what he did to land in jail?
- I didn't ask, no.
Nothing. He was bullied
and threatened by the SEC.
To rat out his boss over
some back dating stock crap.
They intimidated him
with a long sentence.
Called him a co-conspirator.
Then they offered a plea deal.
The only reason he took it was
because he didn't want to be away
from Sarah for so long.
- Good for him.
- You wanna hear the kicker?
The charges against his boss,
were dropped.
But Luke had already been sentenced.
So, he's going to jail
for someone no one did.
How do you know all this?
I googled him.
I friended him on facebook.
We've been texting.
If you want to keep
in contact with him.
You should be proud of him.
Figure it out mean, ignore the
situation and hope that it goes away.
- I'm working on things, okay?
Where is the girl now?
- The girl?
- The Guatemalan? My granddaughter.
- She's drawing.
- I will pay you to watch her.
- I don't want your money.
- It'll only be for a few days.
- What do you mean a few days?
- Don't worry about it, I'm going to find her mother.
- Look what I drew.
Oh, well, that is terrific.
- What do you think of that, Oren?
- Yeah, that's a horse.
You know what I think Sarah.
I think you should go inside.
And I think you should
put on your pajamas
- and then you'll spend the night with me.
- Okay.
What is the matter with you?
You can't possibly be as heartless
as you seem.
- Yeah. Well, thanks for...
- You have a real good night, Oren.
Okay. Good day.
- So you let me know if you need anything at all.
- Okay.
Good night, Sarah.
Everything's going to be okay.
Yeah...
- Do I have to be alone?
- No. Come here.
Come on in.
Come here, Sarah.
Of course not, here...
quick into bed.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Here you go, Paint.
Here you go. There you go.
- You want to go out and play, Sarah?
- No.
It's a beautiful day out.
Sarah, do you like caterpillars?
- I don't know.
- You like butterflies, right?
I guess.
Do you know that Native Americans
believe that butterflies
carry wishes to the great spirits
in heaven to be granted.
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
- You want to go and try and catch some caterpillars?
- How?
Well... I know a place.
- Where caterpillars are?
- Oh, sometimes.
- Okay.
- Okay. Let's do it.
Jason?
You look good.
Working out?
Mister Little?
- Would you like to come in? - Sure.
- Let me just clean up a little.
I'm looking for Sarah's mother.
- Luke's Sarah?
- That's the one, yeah.
Oh, man, what was her name?
I have no clue
where that chick has gone to.
Well, Jason, I got a hundred dollars
in my wallet.
- Think of all the nice chemicals you can buy.
- It's Rita.
Where does she live?
- I don't know.
- Too bad for you.
- I know where her parents used to live.
- Her parents?
I kept the address 'cause we used
to break in to take stuff to sell,
- when we got desperate.
- You sure they don't live there anymore.
They moved.
They kept getting robbed.
Jason...
why didn't you steal from me?
Luke wouldn't let us.
How can he not just fall in love.
Really, I don't think he's ever
gotten over his wife's death.
It's hard to imagine him
loving anyone.
Can Caleb and Dylan have popsicles?
Only if you give me a kiss.
And I want my kiss right on my nose.
Okay! Now we're talking.
One, two... and we got three.
Three popsicles, go. Have fun.
Stay away from that one,
he showed me his penis.
You're really a detective with
the Bridgeport Police Department.
I'm still allowed to have some fun.
There's something about seeing
the law in a bathing suit.
You came over to tell me that?
I was wondering if you could find the
people that owned this house,
10 years ago.
I don't think I can do that, Oren.
It's amazing how nicely our two cars
fit together side by side.
- I used to love the slip n' slide.
- Well, I'm sure you did.
- I'll be right out!
- Okay, take your time.
- You're the piano player.
- Yeah.
Artie Burns.
I play with Leah at the Oaks Bistro.
- What are you doing here?
- I came here to pick her up.
- You mean on a date?
- Yeah.
You're not her type. She likes
the man with actual hair.
- Well I've been going with her...
- Sleeping with her? - Well, no.
I am.
Don't embarrass yourself.
Hey! You told him we had sex!
- How much they pay you?
- Did you tell him we had sex?
- How much?
- Six hundred dollars.
- They are stealing from you.
- The food is shit.
They come for you.
- I don't know.
- Okay, thank you.
- I told you.
You have a beautiful voice.
Particularly when you make it
all the way through a song.
- I can get you a job that pays twice as much.
- What?
- From now on, I'm going to be your agent.
- You're insane.
I'm a salesman, that's what I do.
I know a hot property when I see one.
- Hot property? This is a hot property?
- You bet your ass.
Look, I...
I don't need an agent actually.
- Yes, you do.
- No, I really don't need an agent.
And if I did,
it certainly wouldn't be you.
What are your qualifications
for example.
Here's my qualifications.
You don't have to pay me rent
until I find you a job
at 1200 a week.
- Really?
- Really.
- I got to go.
- I consider that an oral contract.
I... I don't think so...
How old are you?
Ten on Friday.
Dad told you.
- Does your mom ever visit you on your birthday?
- I don't know my mom.
- What about grandparents.
- You're my grandparent.
- Aren't you?
- Yeah, I guess, yeah.
Are you a hoarder?
What? No. I'm storing things
until I can escape.
You want one slice
of bologna or two?
Two. With one cheese in the middle.
- All right, you got it.
- No mayo.
- Butter.
- I knew that.
- Where are you escaping to, Oren?
- I'm moving to Vermont.
More butter, please.
- Would you like to do this yourself?
- Only if you do it wrong.
Daddy and I went to Vermont
last year when I was eight.
We got to fly there.
And he taught me how to fish.
I taught your Dad how to fish.
Place we stayed at had salt shakers
shaped like cows.
That's where I'm going.
He always said he hated it up there.
I think he liked going up
there with me.
Take that box, put it on that box
that's on that box over there.
Good girl.
Don't give the dog human food.
It teaches him how to beg.
- You gave him mayonnaise bread.
- No, I didn't.
I saw you.
You're gonna make someone
a great wife someday.
- I like the sandwich.
- Thank you.
So, what are you doing
with these bugs?
They're caterpillars. Me and Leah
are doing a science project.
Good for you.
- Want to watch some TV?
- Sure.
I don't watch animation, MTV,
Bravo, Oprah...
or sitcoms.
What do you want to watch?
- Can we watch Duck Dynasty?
- What station is it on?
- A&E.
- Sure.
Back so soon...
- Hello.
- What happened? No chemistry, huh?
Right...
How'd it go with you two?
She fell asleep.
You want to come in and watch
the end of Duck Dynasty?
I think I'm going to have to pass,
but you can carry her over
to my place.
My back. I got a bad back.
You know what, can wake her up
or just lift her up.
Forget it, I don't care.
- What's with you?
- What am I doing with my life!
You know,
I'm a wanna-be lounge singer.
- With a shark for an agent.
- No, it's ridiculous. I'm 65, ugh!
I have sold houses, older than you.
And in a lot worse condition.
That makes me feel good.
Yeah.
It was a compliment.
- Where do you want me to put her?
- Just put her over there, thank you.
Do you need... are you all right?
Here, thank you.
I forgot how soundly they sleep.
True. Look at her.
This looks like a Eugene.
And what does a Eugene look like?
Like someone who loved you.
Last time I had sex I tore my ACL.
Is this relevant to anything?
I just thought it was some
information you should have.
Is this by any chance,
some pathetic attempt at flirtation?
Well, when you put it
that way... no.
Good night, Oren.
- Buenos Dias.
- Hello.
His English isn't very good.
This house
is 8.6 million dollars.
- Did you know that?
- It says so on the brochure.
- You read English?
- It was in numbers. But I do read.
Okay, why don't we start
in the living room.
You've got 10 foot ceilings.
Mouldings.
Floors. Plaster mantle.
- What did he say?
- His papa was a plasterer.
Everybody's gotta do something.
- Wait, look.
- The large shell...
- What, you're kidding me.
But that lizard has a...
- Hi.
Can I help you?
These guys they're looking for
an upgrade to a larger home.
Okay.
You know they're caterpillars.
- Yeah, I know. We're just doing a science project.
- Okay.
- Is this your grand daughter?
- Yes.
You know what. I need to go
get something for Paint, all right.
You pick out the terrarium
that you want, okay.
Okay... Okay...
- So, where are you all from?
- Texas.
I have a list of 40 states I try
to avoid. Texas is number seven.
Can I get you anything to drink,
water? Soda? Beer?
Thank you, we have
two other places to look at.
Excuse me. Oren Little.
Speak.
You stay right there,
I'm coming right now.
Well, I wish you the best
of luck on your search and...
Yes, it's a hell
of a lot of lawn to mow.
- So what have you got?
- The family that owned the house is dead.
But, they have a daughter,
she still leaves in the county.
If that's of interest.
- Might be.
- Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to give you the address.
What did you bring me
down here for then?
I'm gonna get a cup of coffee.
- You want anything?
- Really. This is how it works?
Look, either you break
the law or I do.
I'm a detective
and you're desperate.
Who do you think's more likely
to be stupid.
I think we gotta look for a bigger
place. Peter needs his own room.
If you use Oren if might give you
a kick back the commission
just to get rid of you.
The advantages
of a intolerable relationship.
He is good at what he does.
I do think that.
Sarah.
Happy Birthday.
I found your mother.
- It's not my birthday.
- But you'll be with your mother on Friday.
And you can take this with you.
Guys, step back will ya,
you're making me nervous.
Boys!
Leave Mister Little alone.
- Too much noise!
- Dog!
And I bet you think your kids are
funny. What do you think I'm stupid?
Would you be my realtor?
- Is my mother nice?
- I haven't met her, but I'll bet she is.
What do you mean you haven't
met her yet.
I talked to her on the phone.
Seemed nice.
And surprised.
Do I have to go?
Me and grandma haven't finished
our science project yet.
She wants to meet you, all right.
So I'm going to get your suitcase.
You get your toothbrush
and your PJ's.
- And you can spend the night together.
- I don't know her!
She's your mother.
- Do I have to?
- Let me handle this.
- I want to talk to you.
- Talk.
Did you even consider her feelings.
Her father's in jail...
she's never even met this woman.
- You think I didn't check her out?
She's clean?
- Clean?
That's right,
she's not doing heroin anymore.
- You're sending her to live with a junkie!
- Former junkie.
No, you're not! You are not.
- No!
- I am her legal guardian.
The only one that out ranks me
is her mother. You don't count.
Now if you're looking for someone
to mother at your late stage in life.
I suggest you get a dog.
I got one you can have too.
You think it's a quick fix to give
her a mother she doesn't know?
You know, I don't believe
you've ever loved anybody!
Not your son, your grand daughter
or your wife!
Don't you talk about my wife.
When did it happen, Oren?
When she died? Did you bury
all your feeling for her.
Or where you always like this.
Does she have more kids besides me?
I'm not sure honey,
there might be more.
- Will you be with me?
- Of course I'm going to be with you.
Grandma's going to help you pack.
Aren't you grandma?
Might as well take everything,
just in case you like her.
Daddy takes me to Bristol Playland
on my birthday.
He wrote me another letter.
Would you like to read it.
Not now, honey. No.
I understand you need
a real estate agent.
I did teach them to say what they
say when they hear your name.
And I did think it was funny,
but not anymore. Not at all.
- So what kind of property are you looking for?
- A house, a lease?
- Mommy! The dog and the bear are dancing!
- Like you and daddy!
Oh, give me that teddy bear.
- I'm scared grandma.
- Come on.
Sarah?
Is that you?
You're so beautiful.
- Let me look at you.
- You know this is only a temporary situation here.
Come here.
Can I get a hug?
There hasn't been a day since
you were born
that I don't think about you, baby.
I'm so happy to have my baby back!
Do we have to stay?
No, you do not have to stay.
- What?
- This is Sarah's birthday.
And I thought it would be nice
for Sarah to meet her mother.
And now she has...
And it's been a lovely visit.
Maybe we can do this again sometime.
And you have a good day.
Sarah, we got things to do.
What things?
- Stop it! Stop it!
- No more spinning for me.
No more spinning.
I want to go on it again,
let's go on it again!
No, sweetie, I think there's
so much more to see in the park.
Honey, let's go
to the bean bag toss. Okay?
- That's always exciting.
- Bean bags?
Yeah, you toss the bean bag
and you get a big prize.
- Great idea.
- I want to go on the flying swings.
The flying and the swinging,
it's not... you know.
Come on. Please.
I don't think so.
Actually, grandma isn't a flying
swings kind of a person.
It's okay.
Dad let me go by myself last year.
- And I was only 9. Now I'm 10.
- Oh, you went by yourself? - Yes.
- Let's go to the flying swings.
- Are we going to do it?
- Yes! - Okay.
- By herself.
Look at her.
Hi!
How come you never had kids.
I mean, you're a natural.
You want the unabridged version
or the 'cliff notes'?
Whatever you can
get through without crying.
Well Eugene and I we were obviously
struggling actors.
And we took jobs wherever
there was any kind of work.
And we kept telling
ourselves that...
we just needed time to get
our careers on solid footing.
And then guess what,
suddenly I don't know what happened,
we were 40 years old.
- Grandma!
- Oh, hi!
Anyway, that was around
the time I got pregnant and...
Yeah, we didn't plan it,
it just kind of happened.
But I remember being really scared
because I couldn't get it
out of my mind
how my parents used to argue
all the time,
over how to raise me and my sister.
And you know what the truth is?
I didn't think I could be
a good mother.
But I never got to find out.
After I...
I lost the baby
that part of me kinda shut down.
So...
Oh, there she is, there...
Well, for the record...
I think you would be a great mom.
I thought I was a great dad. But
I think I just got dealt a bad kid.
No such thing as a bad kid, Oren.
Trust me, this kid was nothing
but grief from day one.
Dropped outta school.
Quit all his team sports.
The only thing he did really well,
is take drugs.
- He didn't do anything right.
- No?
He did one thing right.
That was so much fun.
- Thank you, Oren.
- You know you can call me grandpa.
Okay.
Will I ever see my mother again?
Well, honey, if you want to.
Sure, yeah.
I don't know.
I think it's best if you hang out
with grandma and grandpa right now.
At least until we break your dad
out of jail.
- How do we do that?
- Yeah, how do we do that?
- The usual way, lawyers, money, guns.
- Cool.
- Can I stay with you tonight, grandpa?
- Well...
- Yeah, he would love to.
- You didn't let me finish.
Good. Can I have a bologna sandwich?
Two slices of bologna,
one slice of cheese, butter, no mayo.
You remembered.
Thank you very much. You've been
a really lovely audience.
I just wondered is there anybody here
tonight from New Jersey...
Really? Really!
You know, that's so interesting.
Because my husband and I spent
an entire summer in Montclair...
- Stay away from dead people.
- You scared the shit outta me!
Well at least
I didn't say that he died.
But he did die.
And you know he died.
- And the moment that thought enters your head you start...
- Okay, okay.
- Can we not talk about Eugene.
- I'm sorry I brought it up.
I don't understand why I have
to talk in-between songs.
- Because people want to get to know you.
- People don't really...
- And the more they know you the more they like you.
- You think?
Absolutely. I like you.
And I don't like anybody.
Oh, I see. Is this one
of your backhanded compliments.
- Take it however you want.
I'm just stating a fact.
- Yeah?
And I love your songs.
- It wouldn't kill your act to throw in a couple more recent ones.
- Okay.
- Anything else?
- Well, since you bring it up.
You're a very attractive woman.
But...
some of your outfits
they just don't do you justice.
Besides my song selection,
my patter
and my physical appearance.
You like the act?
I love it.
I'm just getting eaten alive here.
Would you like to...
- I got an idea.
- Why don't you come inside. - Sure.
Okay.
You know, it doesn't always have
to be about you as part of a couple.
- What?
- When you talk to the audience,
- you should talk about yourself as an individual.
- Oh, God, yeah.
As an individual.
I'm not that interesting.
You're interesting to me.
Would you like something to drink?
Thirst quenching type of drink
or a leading to something
kind of drink?
- Would you like a glass of wine?
- Sure. - Okay.
Honestly, I don't think an audience
wants to hear me talk about my life.
Sure they would.
Tell me something about yourself
that I would be surprised to hear.
Okay, well, I used to collect
antique lipstick cases.
- What else you got?
- See. I told you.
I mean, tell me about
your first crush.
No, wait. Are you asking me as you,
or are you asking me...
- I'm just asking about your first crush.
- Okay, all right.
You really want to hear it?
Okay, I was in 7th grade
and I was...
at Amy Robinson's party
and there was this boy,
Bobby Zaden who was a total jerk.
But he asked me to dance.
And I don't know what happened.
It was like a switch flipped
and then suddenly...
I'm looking into these gorgeous
blue eyes...
and we were dancing.
And yeah, stepping on my feet
but I didn't care because...
I was in love.
- You see that...
- Yeah?
You see that is really...
that is interesting.
Are we really doing this?
I thought I was
but if you don't want to...
Well, no, it's not really that.
It's just...
I mean, I don't...
it's been awhile for me.
I know, it's been awhile for me too.
Oh, is that because of your ACL?
- Yeah, it was totally rehabbed I might add.
- That's good.
I just think it's important
that we don't think of this
- as anything more than what it is.
- Well, what is it?
Well we're both adults, we can
separate this from attachment.
- Yeah, I don't know about that.
- Come on. Sure, we're animals.
We are animals.
It's like a basic need.
It's like water or food.
You know what I'm talking about.
Are you... Whoa!
Okay, of all the starts
that two people have every started,
including teenagers and monkeys,
this is possibly the worst start,
what I consider a potentially
intimate relationship.
- Come on, it's not that bad, is it?
- Oh, really?
I had a dog once,
that wouldn't leave my crotch alone
and it was more romantic than this.
It was way more romantic...
oh, boy.
It's...
Better. Better.
Yeah, okay.
- You smell so good.
- I'm gonna leave my bra on.
That was great.
You got a great body.
Listen, I should probably go,
Sarah's all alone over there.
It was great.
You were great, you know.
I mean, the whole thing.
It's great.
Shit.
- Morning.
- If you say so.
- You've been around Oren too much.
- Why you say that?
- I don't know. You just seem...
- Yeah, I seem what? What do I seem?
Nothing. Have a good day.
- I'm fine by the way, Kyle!
Fine, thank you.
- Yeah. Sorry.
- Beautiful day...
- Oh, my God! How dare you!
I told you I had
to get back to Sarah.
You told me 2 seconds
after we finished,
it was like an extension
of your orgasm!
- I'm sorry.
- You left me crying in the bathroom! What were you thinking!
I was thinking,
she's crying in the bathroom
- and I should probably leave.
- You're unbelievable!
Do you know that was the first time
I've had sex in almost four years.
Okay, I understand, I'm sorry. I
promise I'll do better the next time.
Are you nuts! First of all,
there's not going to be a next time!
- There's a better chance of...
- Hi Grandma! Hi Grandpa!
- Grandma, are you okay?
- She's fine, sweetie.
See your grandma and your grandpa did
an unfortunate thing last night...
I mean the thing itself was not
unfortunate. But the aftermath...
- Jesus!
- Can I go down to the docks?
Yes. Please go down
and just make sure we can see you.
- Better chance than what?
- What?
You were saying that there's a better
chance that something would happen
- than there is that you and I would try...
- Unbelievable!
- You got to be kidding me!
- I'm just looking for clarification.
I mean... wow!
That's unbelievable.
Little, you've got a visitor!
Over there.
David Shaw.
- Who are you?
- I'm your lawyer.
I've been retained by your father...
to file an appeal to your sentence.
We're on solid ground here. With
any luck you'll be out in no time.
Who leaves a empty donut box?
You eat the last donut,
you throw the box away?
It's just common courtesy.
I think you're Gardner stopped by.
He looked hungry,
so I gave him the last one.
He wants more money.
I'm trying to avoid him.
- Can I talk to you for a second?
- What's the matter?
I messed up.
I need a woman's perspective
- and you're the closest thing too it.
- You always could charm me.
- I slept with Leah.
- You did mess up.
Well, the sex was actually
pretty good.
- But you left immediately after, right?
- How'd you know that?
You think you invented men
being assholes?
Well what do I do?
That depends. Are you looking to go
back to the way things were before?
- No.
- Good. Because that's impossible.
You have to understand,
she's very emotional.
Give her some time,
let her calm down, then beg.
Although why she would give you
a second chance...
Why does cancer kill good people?
And you're still alive.
Careful.
I'm the only friend you got.
I might have found someone else
who likes me so you can die now.
- Who in God's name would be that stupid.
- My grand daughter.
- How do they know how to do this?
- It's nature.
It's how baby turtles know how
to run into the ocean
after they've been born.
And I guess it's how bees know how
to make a hive.
- Nature's amazing.
- Oh, yeah.
- We should film it.
- Too bad we don't have a camera though.
- What? - You do.
- I do, don't I.
We can film a little bit
of it each day.
Then we can download it
all to your computer.
Then we can get an editing app.
Then we can make a movie.
- Do you really know how to do all this?
- No. But I can figure it out.
Nature's amazing.
- What do you want?
- Grandpa, come in. We're making a movie.
Oh, look at that.
Caterpillar's crawling on twigs.
- That is some plot.
- It's a science project.
- We're going to film the metamorphosis.
- That's terrific.
- Is there a reason you're here?
- I got you an audition for a new job.
Paying $1500 a week.
Look at this one.
He's already started his cocoon.
Wait a second,
so you got me an audition
- without even telling me about it.
- I'm telling you now.
I know, but you don't seem
to understand I have to get ready.
I gotta find an accompanist.
And I gotta pick a song.
- You better get a move on.
- Okay. I better make some calls.
Sarah... Can I have the camera.
Thank you, thank you.
I suppose this is your way
of smoothing things over?
No, no. This isn't personal.
This is strictly business.
Between you and your agent.
Because on a personal level
I consider you a disgusting pig.
Guess that's a step up
from being a asshole.
Artie. It's Leah.
Yes, well, I need a big favor.
Is there any particular song or style
you would like, because...
- Whatever works for you.
- Okay, all right.
- Artie? - Two bar intro.
- Two bar. Okay.
The way you described her. I expected
someone considerably younger.
Well, what she lacks in curb appeal.
She makes up for in historic charm.
She slept with Elvis.
Really?
Nice voice.
But a little soft.
What do you say $1250 a week
and we got a deal.
Enjoy the rest of the song
because this is the last time
you're going to hear it.
- You're busting my balls.
- We had a deal for $1500.
Could she start Thursday?
You were great!
You were great! Oh, my God!
That run you had in the second chorus
was just, as the kids say, cra'!
- No, no. What does 'cra' mean?
- Crazy. Crazy, oh.
Okay, I'm going to go with that.
- And thank you so much.
- I had a great time.
- I had fun.
- What you did for me.
Artie, you are truly a stand up guy.
Okay, I owe you. Hey, get yourself
a new toupe it's on me.
Artie.
Thanks again. Oh, God, thanks.
I just want to say one thing to you.
Thank you for getting me
this audition.
- It means a lot to me.
- Come on, it was your talent.
You know, Oren. You can be
surprisingly decent at times.
Yeah, you know. I was thinking
about that night and...
And I agree it was really
unfortunate for the evening...
to end that way
and I take full responsibility.
- Good, because it was your fault.
- Didn't I just say that?
And I was wondering if there was
some, you know, pathway to a do-over.
- A do-over?
- Even teenagers and monkeys
- get a second chance.
- To what end?
- Well, you know, I just thought...
- You thought what?
You thought that we could...
what do the kids call it?
- We could have a... hook up?
Is that what you thought?
- No.
I don't do casual sex.
No, I never could.
Even way back. Back in the day.
Way back in Woodstock
and everybody was talking about
free love, how cool, how groovy...
But I couldn't do it.
Even then I knew that...
Love always comes with a price.
Well, perhaps the choice of the word
do-over was ill advised.
Yeah. Look.
Why don't we take this conversation
as you trying to get into
my good graces and me being
only too happy to let that happen.
- Okay, less than I hoped for, more than I expected.
- Okay. All right.
- You ready for the big move?
- I guess so.
- I'm going to miss you, grandma.
- I'm going to miss you.
She's not joining the Army,
you're going to be 20 feet away from
each other.
I know, but it's not the same.
I love having Sarah here and I'm
going to miss watching her sleep.
You can come next door
and watch her sleep all you want.
- You watch me sleep?
- Yeah, because you are a wonder, that's why.
- And maybe when I'm not working we can spend the night together.
- Yeah.
I hate to break up
this love fest here, but you and I,
- we got business to discuss.
- Bye bye.
- Now, what is your favorite color?
- What?
For your room,
the painters are coming...
- You can pick any color you want.
- Purple.
No, that's no good.
What's your next favorite color?
- Pink?
- Pink.
Pink is too...
You know it's just too pink.
- Yellow?
- Yellow reminds me of puke, you know.
Wait a minute, I got an idea.
- Ready?
- Ready.
It's perfect!
- I love you, grandpa!
- I love you, sweetheart.
Did Oren tell you that he hired
a lawyer to appeal Luke's sentence?
- It doesn't surprise me.
- It surprised Luke.
I stopped by to see him yesterday.
He hadn't even talked to his dad.
That doesn't surprise me either.
Oren is different from you and me.
Well, from me Grandma.
Two of you are peas in a pod.
Blow me.
I love you like family.
- Mow his lawn and leave him the hell alone.
- Oh, my God...
- He's stalking Oren for a shakedown.
- Is Mr. Little here?
- Mario Reyes?
- Yes. This is my wife Selena.
- Hi.
This is Mario Reyes.
He won the Cy Young last year.
We just got him as a free agent
from the Rangers.
So he's not a Gardner?
He just signed a 175 million dollar
contract with the Mets.
Would you like another donut?
What are you doing here? How'd you
get out? Come on, get in here.
Come on, Paint.
Come on. Come on.
Good boy. Good boy.
Yeah, good boy. All right.
Jesus, I leave it
for half an hour...
Sarah!
You left the slip and slide on!
- What the hell?
- Hurry, she needs help!
- Oh, God!
- Oh, my God!
- What are you doing?
- Having my baby!
- No, you can't do that!
- Well it's not up to me!
- Sarah, please call 911!
- I called 911.
Why couldn't you do this
in your apartment?
I couldn't make it up the stairs!
- Leah! Get in here God damn it!
- She went shopping.
She went shopping?
See, this is what happens
when you have sex.
No, no, no, no.
No pushing.
I need to push!
Sarah, please, just go
into the purple room.
- Oren! Do something!
- Okay!
I'm going to wash up!
Oren! Oren!
I'm coming! I'm coming!
Just keep it in there.
Just keep it in there!
Okay, I'm coming!
All right, okay!
I'm going to lift up your dress now.
I want a epidermal!
- You've got underpants on.
- Take 'em off!
- I'm not going to look.
- Just look!
- No, no.
- I want you to look.
- I won't look.
- I've got a baby that needs you to look!
Okay, I'm looking.
- Oh, shit.
- What?
There's a head in your vagina!
- Oh, my God!
- Get it out of there!
Get it out of there.
Oh, my God!
Oh, thank God, get over here!
Get over, there's a baby!
I can't do this!
I need you to help me out!
You're fine, you're fine, Oren.
- You gotta do it.
- I'll take over...
- No, Oren, don't leave!
- Okay! I'm not leaving.
Cradle the head.
Now listen to me Kennedy!
One more push!
Go on, push!
It's a boy!
Look at that...
That wasn't so bad!
- He's not breathing.
- What?
Oren... He's not crying.
Oren, make him cry!
Pat him on the back.
- Pat him harder, Oren.
- Breathe!
I can make anybody cry.
You want this?
- You did it... Thank you, Oren.
- No problem.
Sarah, come out.
He's perfect in every way.
- It's so little.
- He didn't feel little.
- Baby, I'm here! Kennedy!
- Ray!
It's a boy!
Oren delivered him.
I think he was coming out on his
own. I just more or less caught him.
Thanks, Oren.
- Ma'am, are you okay?
- I'm fine.
We can help with the umbilical cord.
Oren Little, speak.
Hi Claire.
Nothing.
Just facilitating
the miracle of life.
How about you?
Are you okay?
I just sold my house.
Grandpa?
Grandma's going to work.
She looks sad.
Leah!
I like the new look.
Thank you.
Come on, sweetie.
Thank you so much.
How'd it go tonight?
It went fine.
Did you do the Bonnie Raitt song?
Yeah, I did.
I did the Bonnie Raitt song.
When are you leaving?
As soon as Luke gets out.
Day after tomorrow.
- Where will you go.
- I got a place up in Vermont.
Sarah Beth and I we talked about
retiring there.
That sounds really nice.
Yes. It is quiet.
This all worked out good.
- Good.
- You don't need an agent anymore.
No.
Sarah gets her father back.
We all get to stay here
in Little Shangri-La.
I'm gonna miss you.
I'll miss you too, Leah.
Well, I guess I gotta go back inside.
Are you sure you don't want
to use some financing? Mortgage?
Interest rates on super-jumbos
these days are great.
We just want to own this house.
Cash is okay?
Cash is fine, yes.
How old are your kids?
Roberto is 2. Maria, 5.
J.J., 7 and Victor almost 9.
My Luke was 3 when we moved here.
And how many years ago is that?
- Thirty-two.
- Our children will love it here, Oren.
We will love your home for you.
We're nearly done here.
You will always be welcomed back.
The next song has a very special
meaning to me.
When I was 17 and...
I love this song.
It was playing...
when I realized I was in love
first time in my life.
I was really in love.
And you know how powerful
that first love is,
you just think you're never going to
have those feelings for anybody else.
For the road.
44 years, Claire.
You look exactly the same.
You know, I once heard someone
say that every hello
is just a goodbye waiting to happen.
See, it's shit like that,
that makes people sound stupid.
Good luck, Oren.
But sometimes...
life outlives love.
I never thought that I'd ever
fall in love again.
But here I am,
what's the matter right?
I'm still...
singing this song...
and still dreaming...
of love.
Why'd you do all this?
You're my son.
Daddy!
Hey, S.B.
I just wanted to say good-bye.
Every time.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
So I notice the crying
has got back into the act.
Well at least
I almost got through the song.
I thought you were going
to leave without saying goodbye.
Well, I did try,
but it didn't feel right.
- How human you're becoming, Oren.
- Not as human as you might think.
I had no problem with
the not saying good-bye part.
You know, but a few miles
outside of town...
I discovered that I had
a big problem with the leaving part.
- Why might that be?
- I think you got some idea.
If it's what I think it is,
you're gonna have to say it.
I couldn't live next door
to you as a friend.
I don't want to be your friend.
I don't want to be
in your good graces.
I want to be with you.
- Would you like a ride home?
- Yes.
Of course you know if we do this
you have to spend the whole night.
- Really?
- Every night.
Oh geez, I should have thought
this whole thing through.
How do caterpillar's just know
how to make a cocoon?
- It's called nature.
- Oh, I love the music.
- It was Dad's idea.
- He's very talented.
- How would you know?
- That's what I heard.
- Look at that.
- Oh, my gosh.
How'd you do that?
There's an App that creates time
lapse photography.
- I'm sure there is.
- Oren, look, look.
Look, Oren, it's a butterfly!