Angst (Fear) (1983)

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The fear in her eyes and
the knife in the chest
2
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That's my last memory of my mother
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That's why I had to go
to prison for four years
4
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Even though she survived it
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After that it went good for a while
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Until I met that 70 year old
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"Oh my god" were her last words
8
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Then she was dead
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I didn't know her and I didn't steal anything
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That damned idea was suddenly there
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I just had to
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I couldn't explain it
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So I went to prison for 10 years
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Then the psychologists got interested
in my inner life
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When they asked me about my dreams,
I told them about flowers
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Flowers
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Always just flowers
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Apart from that, I could fantasize
in my mind whatever I wanted
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It helped me control this urge to...
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Just let it all out
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00:02:46,663 -- 00:02:50,432
Prison exists so one
can better oneself
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00:02:50,894 -- 00:02:56,128
But that urge to torture a human,
that's one thing I never could get rid of
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If you sum everything up
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Then I've been behind bars more than
half of my life
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Only, I never commited a crime
out of pure joy
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There was always a little something,
that was added to it
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I knew, It will happen again
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It has to
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00:05:01,007 -- 00:05:03,432
But this time they won't get me
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Nobody came to pick me up
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No family, Nothing
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I would've been too excited anyway
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I couldn't sleep the whole last night
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Finally free
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I already had a concrete plan
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The details were all fixed
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Now it was only neccesary to find somebody
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But I didn't know where I was
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I've lived in this town for 10 years
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Only, behind bars you can't get
to know a city
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My first question was: Where to?
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I thought: Where can you meet somebody?
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So I went to the first Caf that was open
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There were two attractive girls
sitting in there
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They were still pretty young
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But that would've worked
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I felt a bit awkward, dressed as I was
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But after 10 years of prison,
you can't be dressed modern
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They stared at me
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I was on it immediately
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They literally provoked me
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My fantasy immediately began to go wild
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I wondered how I could approach them
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That excited me enormously
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I immediately imagined the greatest things
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But it would've caused too much
attention in the Caf
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Everyone would have heard us
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That wasn't a good opportunity
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It was absolutely neccesary to find
a quiet place
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and everything would've gone on well
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Then a coincidence helped me
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- Where to?
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Straigt ahead, please
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The opportunity in the Taxi was great
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It wouldn't be a robbery,
I wasn't interested in money
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That woman reminded me of my
first girlfriend, Anna-Marie
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A real whore
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I was 14 at the time, and she was
significantly older than me
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She nearly could've been my mother
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We sat on a bench in the park
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I had to remove a shoe
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She took the shoe away from me...
- What are you doing?
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she only would return it to me
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...if I gave her a kiss
- What are you doing there?
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Anna-Marie then took me home with her
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She seduced me
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That's when I was able to get active
for the first time
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First I tied her up, then sealed
her mouth shut...
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Then I hit her
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With a belt and later with a real whip
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She couldn't get enough
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I really enjoyed it
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I became Anna-Marie's slave,
and it really excited me
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Hey What are you doing !!
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Nobody had followed me
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Where to and how long I'd run, I don't know
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I didn't know that area
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I'd never been there
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The house seemed desolate to me
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I wasn't sure if somebody lived in there
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I noticed no one
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and didn't hear anything
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No human soul around
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I thought, that's a paradise for me
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The house was well protected
by the park and the trees
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I didn't have to be afraid of neighbours here
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The locatin was perfect
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No danger of being spotted here
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I could hardly breathe
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I was incredibly excited
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The opportunity to meet someone in here...
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nearly made me go mad
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I thought I couldn't take it much longer
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I was sure someone lived in here
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My victims
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I was afraid
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Daddy?
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Not of the law
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I was in a state of mind that excluded
every kind of logic
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I was afraid of myself
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Already earlier in my life,
I had been in great fear
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For example, as a child it was impossible for
me to be alone in a room
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My grandmother once locked me alone in a
dark room for a whole night
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I thought she was trying to kill me
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That I'd die of fear
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The only thing that helped me
were those sounds
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What luck I had
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What luck I had
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This house was perfect for me
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My plan would work
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Mommy
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Daddy is here
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Don't be stupid, he's long been dead
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As a child, I always had to fear for my life
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First my mother threw out my father
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Then she lived with another man
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My stepfather
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And she tried to kill me
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She wrapped me in wet diapers
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and put me in front of
the open window
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So I should get cold at the window
and freeze to death
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Sylvia!
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Sylvia...
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Sylvia...
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I was never safe with my mother
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She hated boys
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For my mother, I was only an attempt
to get a girl
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She didn't want a boy like me
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She developed a real infatuation
for my sister
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I didn't exist for her
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My sister could do with me
whatever she wanted
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My mother always just laughed
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But one time, I caught my sister alone
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I really gave it to her then
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I wanted to hit her until she was dead
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In her eyes I saw that she was afraid of me
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That excited me enormously
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Because my mother didn't want me,
I grew up at my grandmother's
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But she always just said that she
had to be ashamed of me
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That I was a shame for the whole family
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Because I was an illegitimate child
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She was incredibly religious
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...and to purge the guilt,
she sent me to a convent
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I didn't want to
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But I had to become a priest
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We students lived in that convent
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...and the nuns and priests had a farm there
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There were all kinds of animals there
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One afternoon, I secretly snuck into the barn
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...and used a knife until the blood gushed
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It was a pig
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It was afraid of me and squeaked so loudly
that the nuns came and caught me
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After this incident I had to leave
the convent
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For my grandmother, a world collapsed
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She was so religious...
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Now I was no longer allowed to become a priest
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After the incident at the convent,
my mother said
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that my family had to be afraid of me
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For her, I now was a monster
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She punished me by not letting
me back to my grandmother
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That was because my stepfather decided
to take over my upbringing
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But he hated me
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He was always good to my sister
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But He couldn't stand me
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She was never treated badly
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One time, he hit me so hard, that I had
to crawl on the floor
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My mother and my sister just stood there
and laughed at me
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I wanted to take revenge on my stepfather
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I wanted to kill him, out of rage
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Daddy
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But I was too weak
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So I had to run away from home
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I slept in the park
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There I observed a swan
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First I strangled it
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Then I cut off its head
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It was expelled from the flock and
didn't go back with them in the water
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It lived all by itself in a corner
of the park
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It liked humans very much
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But it was afraid of me
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I imagined, that I was taking my revenge then
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Everything went wrong
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Everything happened to fast
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I had it imagined totally differently
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Much much more dramatic
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At least now I wanted to stick to my plan
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First the mother should visit her dead son
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She should observe very carefully
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...how he no longer could move
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That would teach her some respect
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But...she wasn't moving anymore herself
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I thought she was playing a trick on me
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Like a fox that pretends to be dead
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I really thought she was pretending
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Then I noticed, there was really
something wrong with her
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Nobody can act that well
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00:39:26,997 -- 00:39:29,189
That's impossible
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But she shouldn't be unconscious
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She had to experience every phase
very thoroughly
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I had lost control
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A catastrophe!
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00:39:56,814 -- 00:39:58,790
That couldn't happen to me
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What are you doing?
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00:40:01,572 -- 00:40:03,073
Mother is ill
215
00:40:04,521 -- 00:40:06,099
She needs her medicine...
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In the kitchen
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She could help me
- Please
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00:40:41,811 -- 00:40:45,110
The old one had to stay concscious
no matter what
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I wanted to strangle her after all
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00:40:48,822 -- 00:40:54,075
And the daughter should watch
how her mother slowly died
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She should see what it meant to die
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The young one tried to get me
223
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Either she liked me that much or she
was just trying to rescue herself
224
00:41:25,321 -- 00:41:28,974
But that didn't matter, she just
didn't know it yet
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I had planned something very special for her
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She would take the most, that was obvious
227
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The thing with her is going to be
very special
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In the kitchen I had already noticed
various tools
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With her, I'll do it in the most
precise manner
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Exactly what I had always imagined
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00:42:05,183 -- 00:42:07,749
But first I had to wake up the old one
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She had to gain consciousness again
233
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After all, she was supposed to
whimper and be afraid of me
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00:42:40,828 -- 00:42:44,875
Then the daughter would have to watch
how she would die
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She can't give up
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Just like that
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I finished her
238
00:43:16,441 -- 00:43:19,521
Now only the girl was left to me
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You!
240
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You
241
00:44:13,761 -- 00:44:14,491
You
242
00:44:49,100 -- 00:44:50,008
You
243
00:45:04,048 -- 00:45:06,535
You... You
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I didn't want to leave the corpses in
the house like that
245
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I decided to take the family with me
246
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The thought that I could have the corpses
with me all the time
247
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...excited me tremendously
248
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In no case would I leave without them
249
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I had my plans with the corpses
250
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I was determined that this all was only
the beginning
251
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I wanted to live out my fantasies
252
00:56:58,647 -- 00:57:02,814
At that moment, I didn't care where that
would lead
253
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I didn't think about it at all
254
00:57:06,566 -- 00:57:09,509
I wanted to get new victims
as soon as possible
255
00:57:10,001 -- 00:57:12,154
I was crazy about it
256
00:57:13,004 -- 00:57:16,123
I made a new plan
257
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I wanted to show the corpses to
the new victims
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I was convinced that I could really scare
them with that
259
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I had the idea that I would lock the new
victims together with the corpses
260
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That would scare them enormously
261
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Some would surely die of fear
262
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They couldn't stand being tortured that way
263
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And then I would finish them off
264
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After the act I felt very well
265
01:06:13,567 -- 01:06:15,580
My head felt lighter
266
01:06:17,456 -- 01:06:20,064
Also my whole body felt lighter
267
01:06:20,477 -- 01:06:23,657
I thought that everything I did was
easier now
268
01:06:24,645 -- 01:06:26,579
As if I was floating
269
01:06:34,784 -- 01:06:39,227
I was in a bright, yes even cheerful mood
270
01:06:47,600 -- 01:06:50,365
Of course I knew that this state of mind...
271
01:06:50,603 -- 01:06:53,425
...this relief, wouldn't last long
272
01:06:54,057 -- 01:06:56,821
That the urge would return
273
01:08:56,785 -- 01:08:58,028
Hey!
274
01:08:58,324 -- 01:08:59,746
Hey!
275
01:08:59,983 -- 01:09:02,393
Hey, get out of there!
276
01:09:02,707 -- 01:09:05,473
Get out of there already!
277
01:09:07,881 -- 01:09:09,303
Hey!
278
01:09:11,277 -- 01:09:13,094
Come on!
279
01:11:08,333 -- 01:11:11,294
I can't pity the victims
280
01:11:12,055 -- 01:11:13,694
I wanted to continue to murder
281
01:11:25,525 -- 01:11:28,091
I already had a perfect plan
282
01:12:30,189 -- 01:12:32,856
The two girls were sitting there again
283
01:12:33,764 -- 01:12:35,521
I was on it immediately
284
01:12:49,251 -- 01:12:52,648
My fantasy immediately began to go wild
285
01:13:02,796 -- 01:13:04,672
It was irresistible
286
01:13:05,403 -- 01:13:06,962
Just fantastic
287
01:13:18,193 -- 01:13:20,030
I thought...
288
01:13:21,471 -- 01:13:23,684
How could I approach them?
289
01:13:28,758 -- 01:13:30,240
Then I decided...
290
01:13:30,595 -- 01:13:32,628
I'll take them all
291
01:13:42,265 -- 01:13:45,345
I'll take all four of them
right now, right here
292
01:15:19,001 -- 01:15:20,600
Show me your registration
293
01:15:22,258 -- 01:15:24,470
I don't have anything to do it with!
294
01:15:29,460 -- 01:15:30,803
The registration!
295
01:15:31,100 -- 01:15:34,633
I got the car from someone else,
I don't know how that happened
296
01:15:34,752 -- 01:15:37,103
- I don't care, show me your registration!
- I...
297
01:15:37,281 -- 01:15:38,702
What now?
298
01:15:39,215 -- 01:15:44,170
- Do you have a registration or don't you?
- It's not my fault, that's not my car...
299
01:15:46,199 -- 01:15:48,450
I don't care, show me your registration
300
01:15:48,746 -- 01:15:50,996
The moment was very thrilling
301
01:15:52,083 -- 01:15:54,117
It really excited me
302
01:15:54,571 -- 01:15:58,092
- But I don't have anything to do with it!
- Open up the trunk!
303
01:15:58,362 -- 01:16:01,165
Now everybody's going to be scared to death
304
01:16:04,893 -- 01:16:07,205
Now everybody is afraid of me
305
01:16:07,679 -- 01:16:09,414
I'm famous
306
01:16:10,126 -- 01:16:12,358
It's a pity about those girls, though...
307
01:16:12,536 -- 01:16:14,825
That would've been a nice tango
308
01:16:19,594 -- 01:16:22,716
Excerpt from the psychiatric opinion
309
01:16:23,346 -- 01:16:26,683
The patient planned and commited
the crime consciously
310
01:16:26,842 -- 01:16:31,600
to gain physical satisfaction
311
01:16:32,271 -- 01:16:35,707
His personality is liable and perverse
312
01:16:36,082 -- 01:16:40,267
The worst mental disorder is a pronounced
sadism
313
01:16:40,663 -- 01:16:44,296
However mental illness wasn't the diagnoses
314
01:16:44,988 -- 01:16:47,357
That by hurting somebody and by
using violence...
315
01:16:47,535 -- 01:16:51,582
on other people, he could get
sexually excited
316
01:16:51,859 -- 01:16:55,175
this was known to the patient since
early childhood
317
01:16:55,906 -- 01:16:59,086
His relation to society is severly disturbed
318
01:16:59,481 -- 01:17:05,681
This is because as a baby he was
abandoned by the mother
319
01:17:05,819 -- 01:17:10,163
and later would never know a stable family
320
01:17:10,519 -- 01:17:13,254
The patient is one hundred percent
responsible
321
01:17:13,647 -- 01:17:17,933
but one cannot speak of guilt in
the common sense with this case
322
01:17:18,329 -- 01:17:22,079
The prospect of punishment didn't stop
him from murdering
323
01:17:23,225 -- 01:17:25,772
Sentence on behalf of the people:
324
01:17:26,164 -- 01:17:28,790
Imprisonment for life