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Angst (1983)
Yes?
I'm shooting now. He hides... and comes back to the crime scene at 2.00 AM... where he is arrested by the police. He is carrying the following items... a gun with 18 bullets... a roll of tape... a cable... a shoelace... a female stocking... a magnifier. He does not know how many times he shot. He can barely remember the murder. He has no motive. He does not know the victim. He denies having planned a robbery. The court assigns a psychiatrist... to check his state of mind. He is writing the following letter to the psychiatrist: I can not say why I went into this house. I don't know why I said "I'm shooting now" to this woman. I had no plan and also no motive. What's in the newspapers is incorrect. I only had this feeling, something has to happen. I regret what I've done. I'm asking you and the court to help me. The psychiatrist states in his best knowledge... that there can not be a murder without a motive. He declares the accused certifiably sane and fully in charge of the act. As a result the court rejects sending the accused to a psychiatrist... and sentences him with murder, housebreaking, material damage... and on weapon possession to 10 years prison. The court is of the opinion that the accused had planned a robbery... but now denies it... pretending sadism is a mental insanity... in order to escape a prison penalty. As he can not convince... because in his statement of his actions... clearly indicates... that in his early youth he started a life of crime. He was born in 1950. The mother separates from the Father because he is a drinker and rioter. The child grows up at his grandmothers place. She is embarrassed for her grandchild because he was born a bastard. He does well at elementary school. By a teacher he is judged to be dishonest. As he has been caught for burglary. He shall be a priest. The grandmother sent him to a monastery. When he is caught... attacking animals with a knife... he has to leave the monastery. After this he is sent to his mother. The stepfather takes control over the education... and, in consent with the mother he chastises the boy physically. At the age of 14 he met the then 45-year-old Anne Marie. She uses him to satisfy her masochistic appetite. He has to tie her and then beat and whip her all over. Slowly he finds pleasure in this. He feels desire to torture his mother and other women like this. But first he captures animals. He tortures them... and enjoys it... when they squirm and squeal loudly. The mother is worried that her son could be lethal against her. In fact... during a dispute with no apparent reason he inflicts her with several knife wounds. He tells his mother, lying in blood, she has to die now. Without a passport he escapes to Paris... where he gets arrested and deported by the police. This is the first time he admits his sadistic orientation to the examining doctor. However, the doctor fails to recognize the situation. He thinks, that sadism does not exclude sanity. For attempted murder, he is sentenced to prison for 4 years. Free again... one night in the town park he grabs a swan... cuts off his head... and drinks his blood. This is the only incident... he never got caught for. Other than that, he is seven times sentenced to smaller prison terms during the next 2 years. He meets Susie F. She earns her living privately as a prostitute. She receives various tortures... but without having real pleasure. He secretly watches her with her customers. She did not recognize his mental illness. He was never violent or brutal against her. Without warning, he shoots the actress Elisabeth D. During the 10 years in prison... he keeps quiet and is well-adapted. On the 28th of October he is released from prison. This film is based on true events. The fear in her eyes and the knife in the chest. That's my last memory of my mother. That's why I had to go to prison for four years. Even though she survived it. After that it went well for a while. Until I met that 70 year old. "Oh my god" were her last words. Then she was dead. I didn't know her and I didn't steal anything. That damned idea was suddenly there. I just had to. I couldn't explain it. So I went to prison for 10 years. Then the psychologists got interested in my inner life. When they asked me about my dreams, I told them about flowers. Flowers. Always just flowers. Apart from that, I could fantasize in my mind whatever I wanted. It helped me control this urge to... just let it all out. Prison exists so one can better oneself. But that urge to torture a human, that's one thing I never could get rid of. If you sum everything up. Then I've been behind bars more than half of my life. Only, I never committed a crime out of pure joy. There was always a little something, that was added to it. I knew, it will happen again. It has to. But this time they won't get me. Nobody came to pick me up. No family. Nothing. I would've been too excited anyway. I couldn't sleep the whole night. Finally free. I already had a concrete plan. The details were all fixed. Now it was only necessary to find somebody. But I didn't know where I was. I've lived in this town for 10 years. Only, behind bars you can't get to know a city. My first question was: where to? I thought: where can you meet somebody? So I went to the first coffee shop that was open. There were two attractive girls sitting in there. They were still pretty young. But that would've worked. I felt a bit awkward, dressed as I was. But after 10 years of prison, you can't be dressed modern. They stared at me. I was on it immediately. They literally provoked me. My imagination immediately began running wild. I wondered how I could approach them. That excited me enormously. I immediately imagined the greatest things. But it would've caused too much attention in the coffee shop. Everyone would have heard us. That wasn't a good opportunity. It was absolutely necessary to find a quiet place... and everything would've gone well. Then a coincidence helped me. - Where to? Straight ahead, please. The opportunity in the taxi was great. It wouldn't be a robbery, I wasn't interested in money. This woman reminded me of my first girlfriend, Anna-Marie. A real whore. I was 14 at the time, and she was significantly older than me. She nearly could've been my mother. We sat on a bench in the park. I had to remove a shoe. She took the shoe away from me. - What are you doing? She only would return it to me... if I gave her a kiss - What are you doing there? Anna-Marie then took me home with her. She seduced me. That's when I was able to get active for the first time. First I tied her up, then sealed her mouth shut... then I hit her. With a belt and later with a real whip. She couldn't get enough. I really enjoyed it. I became Anna-Marie's slave, and it really excited me. Hey! What are you doing!! Nobody had followed me. Where to and how long I'd run, I don't know. I didn't know that area. I'd never been there. The house seemed desolate to me. I wasn't sure if somebody lived in there. I noticed no one... and didn't hear anything. No human soul around. I thought, that's a paradise for me. The house was well protected by the park and the trees. I didn't have to be afraid of neighbors here. The location was perfect. No danger of being spotted here. I could hardly breathe. I was incredibly excited. The opportunity to meet someone in here... nearly made me go mad. I thought, I couldn't take it much longer. I was sure someone lived in here. My victim. I was afraid. Daddy? Not of the law. I was in a state of mind that excluded every kind of logic. I was afraid of myself. Already earlier in my life, I had great fear. For example, as a child it was impossible for me to be alone in a room. My grandmother once locked me alone in a dark room for a whole night. I thought she was trying to kill me. That I'd die of fear. The only thing that helped me were those sounds. What luck I had. What luck I had. This house was perfect for me. My plan would work. Mommy. Daddy is here. Don't be stupid, he's long been dead. As a child, I always had to fear for my life. First my mother threw out my father. Then she lived with another man. My stepfather. And she tried to kill me. She wrapped me in wet diapers... and put me in front of the open window. So I should get cold at the window and freeze to death. Sylvia! Sylvia... Sylvia... I was never safe with my mother. She hated boys. For my mother, I was only a reason to get a girl. She didn't want a boy like me. She developed a real infatuation for my sister. I didn't exist for her. My sister could do whatever she wanted. My mother always just laughed. But one time, I caught my sister alone. I really gave it to her then. I wanted to hit her until she was dead. In her eyes, I saw that she was afraid of me. That excited me enormously. Because my mother didn't want me, I grew up at my grandmother's. But she always just said that she was ashamed of me. That I was a shame for the whole family. Because I was an illegitimate child. She was incredibly religious... and to purge the guilt, she sent me to a convent. I didn't want to. But I had to become a priest. We students lived in that convent... and the nuns and priests had a farm there. There were all kinds of animals there. One afternoon, I secretly snuck into the barn... and used a knife until the blood gushed. It was a pig. It was afraid of me and squeaked so loudly that the nuns came and caught me. After this incident I had to leave the convent. For my grandmother, a world collapsed. She was so religious. Now I was no longer allowed to become a priest. After the incident at the convent, my mother said... that my family had to be afraid of me. For her, I now was a monster. She punished me by not letting me go back to my grandmother. That was because my stepfather decided to take over my upbringing. But he hated me. He was always good to my sister. But he couldn't stand me. She was never treated badly. One time, he hit me so hard, that I had to crawl on the floor. My mother and my sister just stood there and laughed at me. I wanted to take revenge on my stepfather. I wanted to kill him, out of rage. Daddy. But I was too weak. Sol had to run away from home. I slept in the park. There I observed a swan. First I strangled it. Then I cut off its head. It was expelled from the flock and didn't go back with them in the water. It lived all by itself in a corner of the park. It liked humans very much. But it was afraid of me. I imagined, that I was taking my revenge then. Everything went wrong. Everything happened too fast. I had imagined it totally differently. Much, much more dramatic. At least now I wanted to stick to my plan. First the mother should visit her dead son. She should observe very carefully... how he could no longer move. That would teach her some respect. But, she wasn't moving anymore herself. I thought she was playing a trick on me. Like a fox, that pretends to be dead. I really thought she was pretending. Then I noticed, there was really something wrong with her. Nobody can act that well. That's impossible. But she shouldn't be unconscious. She had to experience every phase very thoroughly. I had lost control. A catastrophe! That couldn't happen to me. What are you doing? Mother is ill. She needs her medicine... in the kitchen. She could help me. - Please. The old one had to stay conscious, no matter what. I wanted to strangle her after all. And the daughter should watch how her mother slowly died. She should see what it meant to die. The young one tried to get me. Either she liked me that much or she was just trying to rescue herself. But that didn't matter, she just didn't know it yet. I had planned something very special for her. She would take the most, that was obvious. The thing with her is going to be very special. In the kitchen I had already noticed various tools. With her, I'll do it in the most precise manner. Exactly what I had always imagined. But first I had to wake up the old one. She had to gain consciousness again. After all, she was supposed to whimper and be afraid of me. Then the daughter would have to watch how she would die. She can't give up. Just like that. I finished her. Now it was only the girl left. You! You. You. You. You...You. I didn't want to leave the corpses in the house like that. I decided to take the family with me. The thought, that I could have the corpses with me all the time... excited me tremendously. In no circumstance would I leave without them. I had my plans with the corpses. I was determined that this all was only the beginning. I wanted to live out my fantasies. At that moment, I didn't care where that would lead. I didn't think about it at all. I wanted to get new victims as soon as possible. I was crazy about it. I made a new plan. I wanted to show the corpses to the new victims. I was convinced that I could really scare them with that. I had the idea that I would lock the new victims together with the corpses. That would scare them enormously. Some would surely die of fear. They couldn't stand being tortured that way. And then I would finish them off. After the act I felt very well. My head felt lighter. Also my whole body felt lighter. I thought that everything I did was easier now. As if I was floating. I was in a bright, yes even cheerful mood. Of course I knew that this state of mind... this relief, wouldn't last long... that the urge would return. Hey! Hey! Hey, get out of there! Get out of there already! Hey! Come on! I can't pity the victims. I wanted to continue to murder. I already had a perfect plan. The two girls were sitting there again. I was on it immediately. My imagination immediately began running wild. It was irresistible. Just fantastic. I thought. How could I approach them? Then I decided... I'll take them all. I'll take all four of them, right now, right here. - Show me your registration. I don't have anything to do with it! - The registration! I got the car from someone else, I don't know how that happened. - I don't care, show me your registration! I... What now? - Do you have a registration or don't you? It's not my fault, that's not my car... - I don't care, show me your registration. The moment was very thrilling. It really excited me. But I don't have anything to do with it! - Open up the trunk! Now everybody's going to be scared to death. Now everybody is afraid of me. I'm famous. It's a pity about those girls, though. That would've been a nice tango. Excerpt from the psychiatric opinion: The patient planned and committed the crime consciously... to gain physical satisfaction. His personality is liable and perverse. The worst mental disorder is a pronounced sadism. However mental illness wasn't the diagnoses. That by hurting somebody and by using violence... on other people, he could get sexually excited... this was known to the patient since early childhood. His relation to society is severely disturbed. This is because as a baby he was abandoned by the mother... and later would never know a stable family. The patient is one hundred percent responsible... but one cannot speak of guilt in the common sense with this case. The prospect of punishment didn't stop him from murdering. Sentence on behalf of the people: Imprisonment for life. |
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