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Annie Get Your Gun (1950)
"Who's got the stuff
that made the Wild West wild "Who pleases every woman, man and child "Who does his best to give the customers a thrill -"Who -"Colonel Buffalo Bill "Who's got the show that gets the most applause "Five hundred Indians and fifty squaws "Ten feature acts and there's the special feature still -"Who -"Colonel Buffalo Bill -"Did you ever see a cowboy rope a steer -"No, we haven't -"Or an Indian with feathers throw a spear -"No, we haven't "Or a marksman shoot an earring from an ear? "No, we haven't -"Did you ever see a holdup -"No, sir "Then gather closer "And let me give you some of the atmosphere" Introducing the world's greatest sharpshooter, Mr. Frank Butler! "The hour is midnight and all is still "We see the stagecoach climbing up the hill "Going along the mountain trail carrying passengers and mail "Never suspecting danger as they roll along "The watchful driver is in his seat "His trusty rifle lying at his feet "Some of the passengers inside seem to be dozing as they ride "Never suspecting there is something really wrong "Suddenly there's a shout! "What is it all about? "'What is it all about?' you ask. It's Indians! -"Indians? -"Indians! "Indians! "Very notable, cut-your-throatable Indians! "Indians! "Just when they've taken everyone by force "Who makes an entrance on a big white horse "Who starts shooting till there's no one left to kill -"General Grant? -"No. Colonel Buffalo Bill "Who's got the stuff that made the Wild West wild "Who pleases every woman, man and child "Who does his best to give the customers a thrill "Colonel Buffalo Bill" Good afternoon. What's going on here? Indians! What do you think you're doing? I'm busy now. You'll have to make an appointment. Stop that! My good man.... Do you suggest we keep the people of this town in ignorance... ...about the grandest show on earth? I suggest you clear out. This is my hotel and I'll have no signs tacked up. You must be.... Don't tell me. Mr. Wilson. How do you do, sir? This is a great pleasure. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Charles Davenport, personal manager for Buffalo Bill Cody. Glad to know you, but-- When we hold our shooting match, everybody will be here watching. It's the greatest advertising. What match? Frank Butler against your local shot. We do it in every town. Not here you don't. This is my lawn and you're not holding any match on it. -We're taking 10 of your rooms. -For a lot of cowboys and Indians? For the headliners. Indians sleep in the lobby. Indians! Oh, boy! I don't want any actors. I just had Pawnee Bill... ...and his Far East Show. Some of them chased my guests on horseback. Now, take your stuff and get. Nice lawn you got here. I'll rent it from you. -$25 for the afternoon. -No. -$50. -No. -How about $50 in cash and two squaws? -No, no. -How about 50 squaws and $2 in cash? -No! -No? -No! No, kid. I'll feed you to the Indians. Indians. Oh, boy. Looks a little small for a contest. -You don't like it? -Not much. Good, because you haven't got it. -Who says so? -He does. Get that horse out of here. He seems to think it's his hotel. -Did you mention my name? -He stood up under it. -Here's some passes for the show. -Thanks, Frank. Don't miss my entrance. All right, Frank. Don't forget dinner now. -I'll be there. -I'll send the carriage. Goodbye. -I'm Frank Butler. -You've got nowhere to sleep Wait a minute. I'm here to do you a favor. I'll give you a chance to win $100. Yeah, how? Just get the local champion up and I'll give you a side bet of $100... ...against 10 rooms for our actors. No, sir. Clear all this off the porch before I call the marshal. -You sure charmed him. -We don't need him. Tell the boys to start packing. -We'll do the match at the fairground. -Yes, your majesty. -See you later. -Yes, your majesty. All right, start loading up. We're moving back to town. I'll go back and break the good news to Buffalo Bill. Hey, Dolly! Dolly! Dolly, come on. We're moving. Moving? I'm not moving again for anybody! All right. You stay here and come back in with the boys. I've been shot! Indians! Indians! That's my bird. Did you fire that shot? It wasn't nothing. It wasn't nothing? You could have killed me! -Give me that bird. -It's mine. I shot it. You shot it right off my hat. How did it get up there? I sewed it up there. What for? It ain't no good. Ain't got no meat on it. It's not an eating bird. It's a wearing bird. All right. But around these parts, you'll have to keep sewing it on... ...because folks will keep shooting it off. You've ruined it! Yeah, it sure looks beat, ma'am. Here, have one of mine. Get that filthy thing away from me! She ain't filthy. She looks better than you, and she's got a bullet in her head. -I heard shooting. -This creature tried to murder me. -Is that gun loaded? -Sure. But I can empty it quick. Wait for me! I wouldn't have really shot her. That's mighty civilized of you. A fellow down the road tells me this here's a boarding hotel. What if it is? Maybe you and me can do some trading. -What have you got to trade? -I got quails, wild ducks, some grouses-- No, I can get all the game I want. When folks eat the kind of game you get, they keep spitting out buckshot. Teeth, sometimes, too. Mine's different. Come on out, now. The man won't chase you. Come on. It's all right. Honest. Kid sisters and little brother ain't used to people yet. They never been out of Dark County before. Come on. Shake your tails! The man's waiting on you. Hurry up! He can't wait all day. They look a little dusty, don't they? We're in business together. I pop them, she plucks them, she picks them, and she pulls them. Who is he? Little Jake? He's my bird dog. Jake, stop your sniffing. What you got a sleeve for? Here you are, mister. Look it over. Lift up its wings. No buckshot in that bird, just one little tiny hole in its head. Mighty pretty shooting. It's mighty pretty eating, too. For every one you take, you've got to give me two nickels and a dime. All right. I'll take two dozen. How many is that? Twenty-four. Who do we know can count up to 24? I can count up to 20. Are you sure? I can only give you 20. All right. Leave the bill with them. -What's a bill? -A bill's a voucher. Don't you keep books? Don't any of you read or write? We don't read as good as everybody. We don't read as good as anybody. "Folks are dumb where I come from they ain't had any learning "Still they're happy as can be doing what comes naturally "Doing what comes naturally "Folks like us could never fuss with schools and books and learning "Still we've gone from A to Z doing what comes naturally "Doing what comes naturally "You don't have to know how to read or write "When you're out with a fellow in the pale moonlight "You don't have to look in a book to find "What he thinks of the moon and what is on his mind "That comes naturally! "That comes naturally! "My uncle don't pay taxes his address never gives "They can't collect his taxes for they don't know where he lives "Cousin Ben got angry when they caught him stealing chickens "'I'm within my rights,' said he doing what comes naturally "Doing what comes naturally "Uncle Jed has never read an almanac on drinking "Still he's always on a spree doing what comes naturally "Doing what comes naturally "Sister Sal who's musical has never had a lesson "Still she's learned to sing off-key doing what comes naturally "Doing what comes naturally "You don't have to go to a private school "Not to turn up your bustle to a stubborn mule "You don't have to come from a great big town "Not to clean out a stable in an evening gown "That comes naturally "That comes naturally "My uncle out in Texas can't even write his name "He signs his checks with X's but they cash them just the same "Grandpa Dick was always sick but never saw a doctor "He just died at 93 doing what comes naturally "Doing what comes naturally "Doing what comes naturally" All right, kids. Get on to the house with them birds. The kitchen's around the back. Be sure you don't count more than 20. -Don't worry. He can't. -Go on. Get along with you. Say, that was mighty pretty. Thanks. I like to sing. 'Course, shooting's a lot more fun. I been shooting since I was 10 years old. Fancy shooting? I could shoot the fuzz off a peach. See that rooster up there? Yeah. Now you don't. Jumping Jehoshaphat! How would you like to make $5? Doing what? There's a swollen-headed stiff from the Wild West Show. I don't shoot people! He challenges anybody in the county to a shooting match. I can hit anything he can hit, standing on my head! -Watch this. -No, I believe you. I'll go make the arrangements. You wait here. -What's your name? -Annie Oakley. Annie Oakley. Come on, Grandma. I got to get you shined up. How did you get your nose so dirty? -What's that you got there? -What's it look like? It beats me. It's not a rifle, is it? Ain't you got eyes? Yeah, you got eyes. You shouldn't be fooling around with an old piece of junk like this. You could get hurt. This thing's liable to explode and blow your ears off. Give this back to your pappy and get yourself knitting needles. Hey, mister. Do you reckon I could keep it till this afternoon? It makes no difference to me. I don't want you to get hurt. That's all. I just want to keep it long enough to win a shooting contest... ...off of a big swollen-headed stiff out of the Wild West Show. You mean Frank Butler? They didn't say his name. Just that he was a swollen-headed stiff? Yeah. He's champion. -What's that? -He's the best. He was. You're set on yourself, aren't you? About that, I am, but... ...soon as I try to shine up to folks, I'm gawky as a scrub oak. Ain't I? I don't know. I've seen worse than you. -Honest? -Sure. Good luck in the shooting match. I'll see you there. Hey, mister. -Don't you like girls? -Sure. I'm a girl. That's fine. Is there any special kind of girl that you like? Yeah. I like the kind that you see in picture magazines... ...sort of dainty and dimpled and rosy. "The girl that I'll marry "Will have to be "As soft and as pink as a nursery "The girl I'll call my own "Will wear satins and laces "And smell of cologne "Her nails will be polished and in her hair "She'll wear a gardenia and I'll be there "Instead of flitting "I'll be sitting next to her "And she'll purr like a kitten "A doll I can carry "The girl that I'll marry must be" "Oh, my mother was frightened by a shotgun they say "That's why I'm such a wonderful shot "I'd be out in the cactus and I'd practice all day "But now tell me what have I got? "I'm quick on the trigger with targets not much bigger "Than a pinpoint, I'm number one "But my score with a feller is lower than a cellar "Oh, you can't get a man with a gun "When I'm with a pistol I sparkle like a crystal "Yes, I shine like the morning sun "But I lose all my luster when I'm with a broncobuster "Oh, you can't get a man with a gun "With a gun, with a gun "No, you can't get a man with a gun "If I went to battle with someone's herd of cattle "You'd have steak when the job was done "But if I shot the herder they'd lock me up for murder "'Cause you can't shoot a male in the tail like a quail "Oh, you can't get a man with a gun "If I shot a rabbit some furrier would grab it "For a coat that would warm someone "But you can't shoot a lover and use him for a cover "Oh, you can't get a man with a gun "The gals with umbrellas are always out with fellers "In the rain or the blazing sun "But a man never trifles with gals who carry rifles "Oh, you can't get a man with a gun "With a gun, with a gun "No, you can't get a man with a gun "A Tom, Dick or Harry will build a house for Carrie "When the preacher has made them one "But he can't build you houses with buckshot in his trousers "'Cause a man may be hot but he's not when he's shot "Oh, you can't get a man with a gun" Ladies and gentlemen, gather round. Now, without further ado, it gives me great pleasure... ...and it is a great privilege to introduce to you... ...Colonel William F. Cody... ...loved by you all and known to you all as: Buffalo Bill! My young friends, it always gives me great pleasure... ...to return to my favorite state, Ohio. I am here today to referee a contest of fancy shooting... ...between the best marksman your county offers... ...and one of the greatest sharpshooters the world has ever known. Frank Butler! Aided and abetted by his... ...charming assistant, Miss Dolly Tate. Is Mr. Butler's opponent here? -Is the contestant ready? -Yes, sir. Good. Ladies and gentlemen... ...prepare yourselves for the thrill of a lifetime. Two men of steel pitted against each other in a savage struggle... ...of skill and stamina. What's his name? -What's his name? -Annie. Annie! What's so funny? Are you trying to make a fool of us? Frank Butler can't shoot against a girl. -You said anyone, didn't you? -Yes, I know I did. -Are you afraid of a little girl? -No, it isn't that, but-- She might fool you. -What will we do, B.B.? -Nothing. The little lady accepted the challenge. She is entitled to her chance. Are you really Buffalo Bill? Why, yes, little lady. I'm Annie Oakley. Miss Oakley, I am honored. You are? Frank, your opponent is ready. Howdy. I told you I'd see you here. You didn't tell me you were the big swollen-headed stiff. Ain't we got a tablecloth somewhere? -Are you ready, Mr. Butler? -Ready! Are you ready, my dear? -Yeah, but what're we shooting at? -Birds. Birds? Where are they? I don't see any birds. These are clay birds, my dear. They come out of a trap, in front. The contest will continue until the first miss. When you are ready, my dear, just say "pull." Pull? Pull! Hit! Pull. It's wonderful! They got a gadget out there. All you have to do is holler "pull." Hit! I don't want any advantage. Here, honey. Try this one. Dolly, the mirror. Pull! Watch this. Hit! Pull. Hit! Pull. Hit! Pull! Hit! Pull! -Hit! -Pull! Hit! Pull! -Hit! -Pull! -Hit! -Pull! -Hit! -Pull! Hit! Double. Pull. Hit! Pull. Hit! Quadruple. Pull. Hit. Quindruple! Five! Pull! Five. Pull! I declare Miss Annie Oakley winner of this contest! Where's my money? Where's my money? Nice work. Thanks. It wasn't nothing. It was easy as pie. I'm sorry. What are you sorry about? You're just good, that's all. You ain't mad at me, are you? Why, of course not. Anybody can miss a shot. I can't. Excuse me. Here's your $5, Annie. I'm proud of you. Thanks, Mr. Wilson. Where you going now, Annie? I don't know. Back to Dark County, I guess. He sure is pretty. -Goodbye, Annie. -Goodbye, Mr. Wilson. -Good luck. -Thanks. You kids get on and get the supplies now. Hurry on. I tell you, my boy. She'd be a sensation. They've never seen a girl who could shoot like that. What makes you think she's so great? She couldn't do it again in a million years. We haven't got a million years! If business keeps like this, we'll have to fold up. Pawnee Bill's beating us everywhere. -She'd be a novelty. -I don't want any partners. We'll make her your assistant. Once in a while, you'll let her take a potshot. You could break her in. And you know... ...she's quite a pretty girl. She's all right. Of course, she looks terrible now... ...but we could dress her up. She couldn't look worse than Dolly. She wouldn't be willing to join us just to hand me things. -Yes, I would, Mr. Butler! -Well, look at here. I'd be willing to hand you anything, just so I could be near you. You ever been away from home before? Do I got to leave home? I think you'd find that quite fascinating. We travel all over the country. Certainly. Have you ever been on a railroad train? -You know anything about show business? -Show business? What's that? What's show business? "The cowboys, the wrestlers, the tumblers, the clowns "The roustabouts that move the show at dawn "The music, the spotlights, the people, the towns "Your baggage with the labels pasted on "The sawdust, the horses and the smell "The towel you've taken from the last hotel "There's no business Like show business "Like no business I know "Everything about it is appealing "Everything the traffic will allow "Nowhere could you have that happy feeling "When you are stealing that extra bow "There's no people like show people "They smile when they are low "Yesterday they told you you would not go far "That night you opened and there you are "Next day on your dressing room they've hung a star "Let's go on with the show "The costumes, the scenery, the makeup, the props "The audience that lifts you when you're down "The headaches, the heartaches, the backaches, the flops "The sheriff who escorts you out of town "The opening when your heart beats like a drum "The closing when the customers won't come "There's no business Like show business "If you tell me it's so "Traveling through the country is so thrilling "Standing out in front on opening nights "Smiling as you watch the benches filling "And see a billing up there in lights "There's no people like show people "They smile when they are low "Even with a turkey that you know will fold "You may be stranded out in the cold "Still you wouldn't change it for a sack of gold "Let's go on with the show "Let's go on with the show" Who gave you Indians permission to use this car? Annie Oke. I might have known it. Mrs. Little Horse, this is our car and this is my section. And I'll thank you not to do your laundry in it. Look at this place. It's a disgrace! Sharp. This is what I mean, Mr. Davenport. Look at this car. The woodwork! Hey, you Indians, stop that cutting that thing up. Look what they've done to our curtains here! -Looks like the Battle of Bull Run, don't it? -They've done $100 worth of damage. Who told you Indians you could pitch a village in here? I did. They're only sitting till the smoke clears. -What smoke? -Back in their coach. They was cooking a little supper and they had a small fire. A small fire! All right, you Indians break up camp and get back to your car. Hurry up. Go on. Come on now. Get. What gets into you? I'm sorry, Charlie. I don't mean anything. And I want to apologize for Little Jake and the girls unhitching the caboose. If they only hadn't done it on a hill. I cut this out of the paper. It's about you. About me? Thanks. First call for supper. That was a close call. Are you all right? Yeah. Come back. While they're eating, we'll have our reading lesson. Now? Yes, now. Have you got your book? Let's see, now. What's that word? Are you sure that's a word? How can I learn you if you don't do no homework? You've got to learn me, and you've got to learn me fast. What would Frank think if he knew I couldn't read? I know what it is. It's "the." Keep going. The boy had a dog. Go on. The dog's name were, was.... What's that, Jake? Sound it out. Now that I did it, what is it? Frank. Frank. That's a pretty name. The boy's name was... ...S-T-E-P-H-E-N. What's that, Jake? Joe. That seems an awful lot for just Joe. Reading's kind of funny sometimes. Come on. The dog was.... Bless you. Not catching cold, are you? No, I'm just trying to learn Little Jake his reading lesson. I sure am thick-headed, ain't I, Annie? You get along into the eating car and have your supper. Annie reads good. Show him, Annie. Start here. You get along now. Get. Get. Charlie gave me this newspaper clipping. Would you like to read it? No, you read it to me. You read it. I want to hear how it sounds when you speak it. "Butler's assistant, whose name isn't on the program... "...performed only one trick, but she promises to become a fine marksman." That's nice of that paper man. People are beginning to notice you, Annie. I told Charlie to put you on the billboard. -You did? -Yes. I got a real fancy trick I've been practicing to surprise you with. What is it? I can't tell you. It's a surprise. That's fine. I like you to be ambitious. I want you to improve. But it'll take some time. All I want to be is a pink and white lady like the kind you said you liked. You're getting pinker and whiter every day. That ain't pig-wash, is it? What would you say if someday I make you my partner? Oh, Frank! Butler and Oakley. I never thought I'd ask a girl to be my partner. Oakley and Butler. Butler and Oakley. What's the difference? You've got to do it in alphabetical order. You know, there's gonna be a wishing moon out tonight. Back home, I used to wish for a lot of things... ...but lately, they sure have been catching up to me. You ever love anybody? -You mean, somebody who loved me back? -Yeah. That I ain't. But I hear tell about it. "They say that falling in love is wonderful "It's wonderful "So they say "And with a moon up above it's wonderful "It's wonderful "So they tell me "I can't recall who said it "I know I never read it "I only know they tell me that love is grand "And "the thing that's known as romance is wonderful "Wonderful "In every way "So they say "Rumors fly and they often leave a doubt "But you've come to the right place to find out "Everything that you've heard is really so "I've been there once or twice "And I should know "You'll find that falling in love is wonderful "It's wonderful as they say "And with a moon up above it's wonderful "It's wonderful as they tell you "You leave your house some morning "And without any warning "You're stopping people shouting that love is grand "And "To hold a man in your arms is wonderful "Wonderful "In every way "I should say" Well, it's getting on to bedtime. Well, I better mosey on back to my car. Do you mind if I walk you home? You better go on to bed. -Goodnight. -Goodnight. Hurry, ladies and gentleman. Charlie, my boy. Something is wrong. Here we've been parading around all morning and.... How do you do, my dear? And still the customers don't come. -Maybe you need some new attractions. -No. What we need is just one good attraction. Something that'll make them sit up and... ...take notice. Pawnee Bill! The two-timing, double-crossing-- That's where all your business is. St. Paul! That's just next door! He's been doing it to us across the country. But this time he won't get away with it! -Who's gonna stop him? -I am. I've got an idea. Come on. Let's see Annie. Remember that stunt you've been practicing? Charlie and I thought that this afternoon you might.... Well, that's a very good stunt. What he means is he wants you to do it in the show this afternoon. I couldn't do that. Frank might not like it. Of course he would. lt'll surprise him. You like him, don't you? I like him a heap. Has he asked you to marry him? Not yet. He ain't broke out in a cold sweat enough for that. That's why we're doing this for you. This is your big chance. You'll dazzle him. When you walk in front of that audience... ...in that beautiful new costume with the music under you... ...and you try that new trick that you've been saving for him-- He'll be so proud of me, he'll bust out in that cold sweat! -Charlie, Buffalo! Wait till I tell him! -Wait. Now, look! We want to surprise him. He'll expect you to do that old trick where you shoot the egg off the poodle's head. Instead, you come on... ...you do the new trick... ...you save the show, and you marry Frank! Just like in a fairytale! Are you sure he'll like it? Yes. I think he will. Mr. Frank Butler is in for a real surprise. Look at that business. This'll fix that Pawnee Bill. When word spreads about Annie, he won't have customers... ...to play a two-handed poker game. You're right, B.B. The dirty, two-timing, double-crossing... ...treacherous, thieving, stealing-- Well, Buffalo Bill. Well, Pawnee Bill, my old pal. You are a sight for sore eyes. We were just talking about you, weren't we? Just this minute. We don't see enough of you. I've been a little bit lonely, too. In the past six months, if you wanted to see us... ...all you had to do was turn around and spit. Same old Charlie. Haven't changed a bit. You haven't met Big Chief Sitting Bull, have you? No, I haven't. Sure. Everybody knows Big Chief Sitting Bull... ...who defeated General Custer at the Battle of the Little Big Horn... ...and the man who tonight... ...will be the guest of honor in St. Paul of none other than... ...Pawnee Bill. All right, folks. Now, don't lose your place in line. The great Annie Oakley's on the inside. Annie Oakley. I'm anxious to see her. I'll get some tickets. Hold on. I wouldn't have it. Here are two passes to my own private box. Well, punched right through the center. Annie Oakley shot them out. We've got Annie Oakleys. Well, I'll see you inside. There you are, Chief. Come along. I better follow him. He's likely to steal the benches. How's business, Chief? Going back on the warpath soon? No. On way home from Washington. Go see Great White Father about Indian territory. They gave you a bad shuffle on that land. Maybe you can farm it. Nothing will grow. Too much oil. Fifty thousand barrel a day. That's too bad, Chief. How you gonna live? You can't eat oil. -Tell you what I'm gonna do. -No put money in show business. -You can have a lot of fun. -No. $20,000, Chief. We could-- Sitting Bull live by three rules: Keep bow tight. Keep arrow sharp. No put money in show business. How'd we ever get the country away from them? Hi, Charlie. Business looks.... -Who put that up there? -It looks great, don't it? I told you to put her name someplace, not to make a star out of her. That's ridiculous. She's only doing a few little tricks, isn't she? -Yes, Frank. -Isn't she? Sure. I don't understand you. You like her, don't you? Sure I like her, and I want to keep liking her. -Where's Buffalo Bill? -Inside. Jumping buffalo! It's me. Have I been up there all the time? Do you like it? Like it? Oh, Charlie! I can't believe it. Wait till Frank sees it! -Yeah. -Will you go get him, Charlie? Please. "There's no business "Like show business "Like no business I know "All made up and soon you'll be appearing "Every bit of nervousness is gone "Then the sound that's music to your hearing "To hear them cheering when you come on "There's no people like show people "They smile when they are low "How I wish the folks at home could only see "What's come to Annie how proud they'd be "Getting paid for doing what comes naturally "Let's go on with the show" What are you doing to me? I've been here for four years... ...and you finally give me a spot. Well, that's what we always had. How about this? Frank, look up there. Ain't I growed in the last few days? Yeah, shot up like a ragweed. You know, I still can't believe it. Don't try too hard, because it ain't gonna be there next week. -Why ain't it? -That's show business. The few tricks I gave you don't rate a star billing. Even I don't get that. Someday, maybe, but it's got to be gradual. -If that's the way you want it. -That's the way I want it! You ain't sore, are you? No, I'm not sore, honey. Be sure and watch me this afternoon. Don't be nervous. You've done the poodle trick many times. I know, but today I'm not gonna.... I mean, I'm gonna.... Wait until you see me out there with the music and everything. Well, you'll.... What will I do? You'll start to bust out in a cold sweat... ...and then just like in a fairytale, you'll be so proud of me... ...that you're gonna ask me to do something and be somebody... ...and I'm gonna do it and be it. Honey, I could ask you that right now. You sure look elegant. Not now, Frank. That ain't the way I planned it. Besides, you can't kneel down here. Then I'll come back to your tent after I come off. And then you can take your time and ask me real slow-like. I better get. Would you like to touch me for luck? There ain't nothing like that in Dark County. "My defenses are down She's broken my resistance "And I don't know where I am "I went into the fight like a lion "But I came out like a lamb "My defenses are down She's got me where she wants me "And I can't escape no how "I could speak to my heart "When it weakened "But my heart won't listen now "Like a toothless clawless tiger "Like an organ grinder's bear "Like a knight without his armor "Like Samson without his hair "My defenses are down "I might as well surrender "For the battle can't be won "But I must confess "That I like it "So there's nothing to be done "Yes, I must confess "That I like it "Being miserable "Is gonna be fun "Your defenses are down She's got you where she wants you "And you can't escape no how "I could speak to my heart when it weakened "But your heart won't listen now "Like a toothless clawless tiger "Like an organ grinder's bear "Like a knight without his armor "Like Samson without his hair "My defenses are down "You might as well surrender "For the battle can't be won "But I must confess "That I like it "So there's nothing to be done "Yes, you must confess that you like it "Being miserable "Is gonna be fun" And now, ladies and gentleman, for the surprise feature... ...of the Buffalo Bill Wild West Show. For the first time in any arena... ...we will witness this afternoon a feat of marksmanship, daring and bravery... ...never before attempted in all the world. Ladies and gentleman, we proudly present Miss Annie Oakley. I don't want you to blame Annie. She was only trying to surprise you. She wouldn't cross anybody. That's what I thought! I thought she was such a sweet, simple little girl. Simple. In two weeks, I wind up being her assistant. Look who's talking. I've watched you push her around for months now. Handing you your guns. Grateful for any crumb the great Frank Butler would deign to drop. You're so conceited, if you fell in love with anybody else, it'd be a triangle! Maybe you'd like to hit me, too? Charlie was talking for both of us. Frank! I've been looking all over for you. Did you see me? Were you surprised? -It was the surprise of my life. -I knew you'd like it. Now, if you two will get, we want to be alone. Get away! You've been chasing me all the way from the big tent. Make him stop saying that! What does it mean? It's all right, honey. It's a compliment. In the Sioux language, 'Watanya Cicilia' means "Little Sure Shot." Of course, he wants to meet you. Miss Annie Oakley, may I present Chief Sitting Bull. I'm glad to meet you, Mr. Bull. Thank you kindly. I want you to meet my best friend, Mr. Frank Butler. You in show, too? In the show? He's the star! Star? That means he's the best. No, you best. Good girl. That's all right. He wants you to be his friend. Not friend. I make her my daughter. -What? -That's a great honor. He wants to adopt you. I've called Sioux tribe together. We have big ceremony. -When, Chief? -Now. Not now. I have to contact the newspapers, send some wires. -That'll take a little time. -Now! That's what I said. Now. To be near daughter... ...Sitting Bull break rule. Put money in show business. You hear that? Now we can go to New York, Madison Square Garden! We'll tour Europe, the whole world! Everything's happening so fast. First, I get me a new papa... ...and now if you two will get, I could get me a husband. Couldn't I, Frank? -Where did he go? -He probably went out to change. Wait a minute. Buffalo! Charlie! Help! Come! You... ...say after me. Teeth of many bear. Am I an Indian yet? Not yet. Am I an Indian yet? Not yet. Am I an Indian yet? Come. Watanya Cicilia. Now! "Like the Seminole, Navajo, Kickapoo "Like those Indians, I'm an Indian, too "A Sioux, a Sioux "Just like Rising Moon, Falling Pants, Running Nose "Like those Indians, I'm an Indian, too "A Sioux, a Sioux "Some Indian summer's day, without a care "I may run away with Big Chief Son of a Bear "And I'll have totem poles, tomahawks, small papoose "Which will go to prove I'm an Indian too "A Sioux, a Sioux "I'm an Indian, I'm an Indian I'm an honest Injun Indian "I'm an Indian too "How! " Well, now I'm an Indian. Do we carry on that way every time we take in a new member? I'm beat. Here's a letter for you, Annie. For me? Thanks. I ain't never had a letter before. Frank! Frank. Your best friend. Papa Bull, can you read writing? Papa Bull writing book. Can you make this out? "Dear Annie. I'm leav--" What's the matter? "I'm leaving tonight to join Pawnee Bill's show. "I'm going to do my old act with Dolly." Why? "You put over greatest trick I ever saw. "You are a smart girl, Annie, too smart for me. "Good luck to you and goodbye. Frank." What does he mean? Too smart for.... It must be some sort of joke. It was gonna be Butler and Oakley. I was gonna.... Are you sure you can read? You want him killed? Papa Bull, we was gonna be married tonight. Me and Frank. I was gonna be a lady for him and everything. I was trying so hard! You great lady, Annie. You best shot in whole world. Oh, Papa Bull! I wish I'd never seen a gun. You kids be good and do everything that Miss Willoughby tells you to do. Where's Little Jake? Jake? Little Jake. Annie, it's awful important that I go with you. Honest, it is. I wish you could, Little Jake, but you've got to take Jessie and Minnie... ...and Nellie back to Ohio. But who's going to teach you to read? I guess I'll have to learn myself. Goodbye, kids. -Take good care of them, Miss Willoughby. -I will. -Goodbye, Annie. -And hurry up back, Annie. I will. Goodbye. Take good care of your shooting arm, Annie. I will, Jake. 'Bye. -There it is. Time to get aboard. -Not yet. -Something wrong? -Maybe. Maybe what? Don't you think people would come and say goodbye to people... ...when people are going to Europe? Annie, maybe he couldn't make it. You mean, maybe he didn't want to. I don't care. Don't mean nothing to me. Come on. I'm gonna be the biggest hit in the whole world. I'm going to win every shooting medal ever invented. Then Mr. Frank Butler won't be so proud and mighty. I'll show him. Yes, now. Come on. Miss Oakley, you're a very remarkable young lady. Sit down. My daughter, Annie, many fine medals. Hello, Charlie. Great success, wasn't it? Another success like that and we'll go broke. What are you saying? These command performances are costing us our shirts. They command, we perform, no one pays. We got enough money to meet our payroll this week? Meet it? We're not close enough to even wave at it. Maybe we'll break even in Sweden. They only have one king and he's on a vacation. Look, Charlie, what would you think about pulling up stakes here and heading home? We've got a whole tour ahead of us. Now is our chance to make a little money. -This has all just been a buildup. -I wasn't thinking about the money. I didn't hear you. Have you been watching Annie lately? I watch her every show. -She's a great little sharpshooter. -I don't think that's enough for her. -We'll build up her act a little. -Charlie, talk sense. What do you expect me to say? That she'd be happier back with the great Frank Butler? I'd rather see her elope with Sitting Bull. At least she'd always have a tent over her head. Listen to me. Frank is all right. The only important thing is Annie's in love with him. That's where you're wrong. Annie is as happy as a little lark. Here comes your happy little lark now. -The show went swell, didn't it? -You were superb, my dear. You knocked them right out of their seats. Do you think that I thanked the queen enough? You certainly did. You gave a great show. It's fun traveling around Europe like this, isn't it? Isn't it? Sure. You get to travel all around, meet a lot of interesting people. I love it. Well, I'm all packed. Where we heading now? North? South? We haven't decided. We were talking about Sweden. That's nice. And then of course, we could go back to America. We could? -Do you really mean it? -Would you like that, honey? I love Europe, but I've been dying to go home. That's what we figured. I'd get to see the kids again. Yes. Wouldn't that be nice? Of course, I can't wait till a certain Mr. Somebody sees this. Aren't they cute? Yeah, but if we're so rich, what are we doing on a cattle boat? We thought it'd be nice to keep the animals company. Our European tour was an artistic success. He means we're broke. You don't mean the king of ltaly and the Kaiser couldn't dig up $1 .50? My dear child, kings don't handle money. Same as us. In brief, we had a choice of traveling on this boat or getting our feet very wet. Shut up! It costs a lot of money to travel a big troupe up and down Europe. Remember what happened in Paris when the Indians discovered French pastry? Sixty-two thousand chocolate clairs. Sixty-two thousand, five hundred. You see? That cost a heap of money. But, Papa Bull, what happened to your heap? Government put Papa Bull on small allowance. $32.50 a week. But why? Because in the eight months he's been with us, he's drawn $300,000... ...and he has nothing to show for it except an opera hat... ...and a shoebox full of our lOUs. That's show business. I'll give it to you straight. We can't keep the show open. It costs too much money! But you can't break up the show. I go back to reservation. Reservation very quiet after show business. What will happen to you, Buffalo Bill? I'll be fine. Dime museums, side shows. Everything is going to be all right, honey. Only just now we've got to raise a little bit of cash. Let's turn this into a pirate ship. Sitting Bull, hungry. Buffalo Bill's hungry, too. I'd settle right now for.... I'd settle right.... Annie, do you think you could shoot one of those? Which one do you want and where do you want him? Get the one with the meat on him. There, you see? Everything finally turns out all right. Take this down to the chef. -What for? -A seagull sandwich. I guess I'll mosey on back to my stall. It's time to milk my roommate. Annie, come down to me. I want you to meet a friend of mine. There she is. Heaving to boarding instructions. Come aboard by port bow. We got a visitor. Who is it? It looks like Frank Butler. Well, so it does. Come on, Annie. Take a look. I don't want to look! And if he's coming on this boat, I'm leaving. No, Annie! Stay. Talk. Maybe I will. Sure, I'll talk to him. I'll say: "What are you doing here, you big swollen-headed stiff? Get! " Then he'll say: "I just came down to meet you, honey." Then I'll say: "I don't want to get met by you. Get away from me. "Take your hands off me. I hate you." Then he'll say: "Now, honey." Then I'll say: "Don't honey me. "You thought I'd double-crossed you. You thought I tried to show you up. "When you did find out I only done the trick just so you'd love me... "...why didn't you love me? Why did you leave? "Why didn't you write?" Then he'll say: "'Cause I was ashamed. "Besides, not writing don't mean that somebody don't love somebody." Then I'll say: "Well anyway, you could have written." Then he'll say: "Annie, I've been eating my heart out for you. I can't work. I can't sleep." Then, of course, if he says that... ...l guess I'll just have to say: "I ain't slept much, too." Then by rights... ...he ought to say, "Annie, we both just got to get some sleep! "I love you so." Then I don't know how I'll stop myself from saying: "I love you, too." Frank! You ain't Frank! Nobody said I was. Why did you come here pretending, getting me to kiss you. -He didn't do anything. -Yes, he did. He give me an appetite I didn't want to get. Who are you, son? I'm working at Madison Square Garden. I'm in the Pawnee Billy Show. -How? -How! No. How's business? We're packing them in. Mostly society ladies. Society ladies? Sure. That Frank Butler, he's catnip for those debutantes. Debutantes? What's that? Ladies with long, white gloves. Them long white gloves you're talking about... ...is there any special pair he likes? We can't keep track of him. Colonel, sir... -...I have a letter from Pawnee Bill to you. -Thank you. We were expecting you in on the Great Eastern. Of course, I don't like to be separated from my cattle. Charlie, show these gentlemen below. Could I interest you in a tub of nice fresh milk? -Let me read it. -Certainly. "Dear old pal. "Welcome home, you millionaires. "We want to give you all a big reception... "...at the Hotel...." No, honey. Brevoort. I can read, lately. "The Hotel Brevoort. "Tomorrow night. "The town's dying to meet you. "Frank's bringing all his society friends." All right. Turn over. "Please tell my messenger that you will come... "...so we can start to ice the champ-a-ginny." Champagne. "Ice the champagne. "Your old pal, Pawnee Bill." Champagne at the Brevoort. That old tenderfoot must be filthy rich. Good! Pawnee Bill possible sucker. What are you talking about? Buffalo Bill poor, but good. Pawnee Bill bad, but rich. Put together, make good and rich. He may have something there. We could merge, you know. We've got the prestige and he's got the money. We could combine our shows. Annie, how would you like that? If the shows could merge, me and Frank would just have to work together... ...and then pretty soon, maybe him and me could do some merging. Yes. I'd better go find that messenger. Now, you'll be with your friend, Frank. Papa Bull, he'll make you a wonderful son-in-law. Maybe he's fallen in love with one of those pink and white ladies... ...he's always talking about. When you fall in love with Frank? The first time I seen him. He took to me right away. He sung me a love song. He just spit his heart right out at me. "The girl that I marry will have to be "As soft and as pink as a nursery "The girl I'll call my own "Will wear satins and laces "And smell of cologne "Her nails will be polished "And in her hair "She'll wear a gardenia "He'll be there "lnstead of flitting "He'll be sitting "Next to her "And she'll purr like a kitten "A doll he can carry "The girl that he marries" -I'm giving a weekend party at my estate. -That's fine. I'll be expecting you. I'm sorry, but I don't think I could leave my horses. -Horses? -Excuse me. -Frank, don't forget our dance. -I won't. Isn't this our dance? I'm sorry, but I promised this one to Pawnee Bill. -Excuse me. -Will you excuse us? -Frank, isn't it a lovely party? -Yeah. -It is a nice party, isn't it? -If you like witches. Why did you send that faded Gibson girl to fetch me? I'm out of my mind worrying if Annie will even talk to me. Well, I'll have to tell you. We're at the end of our line. We owe everybody. I don't get it. We're making a fortune at the Garden. Yeah. With the sheriff at the door pulling it out again. Why are you giving this party for Buffalo Bill, then? It's an investment. I'm trying to promote a partnership. -You mean, put the two shows together? -Yes. Hey, that's wonderful. Then she'd have to talk to me. I knew I could count on you. Colonel William F. Cody. -Where are you going? -I got a surprise for her. I'll be right back. Mr. Charles Davenport and their company. Well, well. My old pal, Bill. Pawnee Bill, my old pal. What a reunion! You're a sight for sore eyes. You know, you look wonderful? -I look wonderful? -Yes! I look terrible. You look wonderful. Doesn't he? He never looked this good to me. -Where's Annie? -She's on her way. I'm anxious to see her. Let's have a drink. -Well, Bill, here's to you. -No. Here's to you. -No. To you. -No, I insist. Here's to you. Let's drink to me. No. Later. I read about your European tour. -Biggest show they've seen over there. -We got by. -I hear you're doing fine at the Garden. -Well, you know, making a living. Let's have another drink. The real stuff is in there. Mighty nice of you to give us this fine party. Nothing at all. We are buddies, aren't we? As a matter of fact, we cut off our European tour... ...so Annie could be with Frank. Is that so? I wonder how we could manage that? I've been wondering the same thing. Let me propose a toast. To the two greatest showmen in America. Pawnee Bill and Buffalo Bill. -What a combination. -Yes. We could merge the shows and then Annie and Frank could be together. Why didn't I think of that? This calls for a real celebration. Let me fill them up again for you. -Darling-- -Beat it. There we are. Here's to the new Buffalo Bill-Pawnee Bill Wild West Show. Hold on. No, sir. Here's to the new Pawnee Bill-Buffalo Bill Wild West Show. No, you come first. I'll bet they're going to serve dove for dinner. This is a night I will always remember. Me too, B.B. Now, if we had $100,000-- A hundred thousand what? I was going to say, if we had $100,000, we could pay off our debts. -What were you going to say? -The same thing. Why, you dirty crook! Miss Annie Oakley. Chief Sitting Bull. -Do you see him yet? -He'll be here. Miss Oakley. Enchanted. You're a friend of Frank Butler's. -How'd you know? -White gloves. Charmed. 'Chanted. Enchanted. Charmed. Oh, charmed. Oh, 'chanted. Enchanted. Oh, charmed. Delighted. No. You either got to be charmed or 'chanted. -May I get you some chicken salad? -You sure can. I don't know what's ailing me lately but I'm always hungry. -I wonder what that's from. -From not eating. All those medals, I read they were worth $100,000. What is that big one for? For shooting the apple off the Crown Prince's head. And this little one? For shooting the worm out of the apple. Isn't she heavenly? Miss Oakley, won't you shoot something for us? Yes. Please do. If I'd brought my gun, I'd love to. I'd love to shoot all of you. Pawnee Bill! Waiter, drop the tray and throw the guests of honor out. -Ain't we merging? -The merger's off. Come on, everybody. -Out! -Why? They haven't got as much money as we haven't got. You've got to do something! Wait! Two shows must go together. Annie want Frank. Annie get Frank. Papa Bull find money. Where? Me know paleface with many diamonds, much gold. Who? You. Me? But I can't sell my medals. No sell medals, no money for merger. No merger, nobody merge. But we've got to merge. There's too many white gloves around here. I'll tell you what I'll do. If I can keep them until Frank sees them, you can have them. Well, my old partner. It'll be great to be working together again. Waiter, champagne for all the guests of honor. Come on, everybody. You realize you just gave up your whole bankroll. I don't care. I've got what I had when I started. Don't fret, Charlie. I'm doing fine. "Taking stock of what I have and what I haven't "What do I find "The things I've got will keep me satisfied "Checking up on what I have and what I haven't "What do I find "A healthy balance "On the credit side "Got no diamond, got no pearl still I think I'm a lucky girl "I've got the sun in the morning and the moon at night "Got no mansion, got no yacht still I'm happy with what I've got "I've got the sun in the morning and the moon at night "Sunshine gives me a lucky day "Moonshine gives me the Milky Way "Got no checkbooks, got no banks still I'd like to express my thanks "I've got the sun in the morning and the moon at night "And with the sun in the morning and the moon in the evening "I'm all right "Got no butler, got no maid still we think you've been overpaid "I've got the sun in the morning and the moon at night "You've got the sun in the morning and the moon at night "Got no silver, got no gold what you got can't be bought or sold "I've got the sun in the morning and the moon at night "She's got the sun in the morning and the moon at night "Sunshine gives me a lucky day "Moonshine gives me the Milky Way "Got no diamond, got no pearl still Miss Annie's a lucky girl "I've got the sun in the morning "Sun in the morning "Moon in the evening "Moon in the evening "Sun in the morning and the moon in the evening "And I'm feeling all right" Where are we going? What's the matter? Frank! Don't move or I'll fall. I ain't ever moving again. What have you got spilled on you? Eau de cologne water. It's powerful, ain't it? Frank, look. Polish. -You look wonderful. -Do I? -Do I dazzle you? -I couldn't have stood it much longer. -Am I driving you crazy? -Plumb. -I love you, Annie. -I love you back. Why didn't you write to me? Well, I figured you'd be tied up with them European counts and dukes. I been hearing about your collection of white gloves. -I missed you every minute. -Keep talking. -I didn't like living without you. -Keep talking. -You are everybody in the world. -Keep talking. I don't want to talk. I just want to hold you like this. Annie, I want you to have something. Frank, I can't take them, honest I can't. Go on, honey. A little jewelry will look good with that ring. Go on. Pin them on. Where? I got a little piece of space left between... ...France and Switzerland. -How come you got that vacant lot there? -I didn't wear them all. What are you waiting for? You don't want these. They haven't got any stones in them. I got all the stones I want. Go ahead, Frank. No, these are too plain for you. They just got writing on the back. "To Frank Butler, The Champion Sharpshooter of the World." Of what world? The Old World or the New World? -The whole world. -These say you ain't. -They don't prove anything. -I ain't been beat yet. If you mean that time in Cincinnati, that was beginner's luck. I thought maybe that nonsense had been knocked out of you. It couldn't happen again in a million years! It's going to happen again tomorrow! -Charlie! -Yes? Find someplace where we can have a match. -Who? -Me and old potshot here. A love match. There ain't no love in a shooting woman. What a wife she'd make! Instead of tending house, she'd tend her guns. She'd be out hitting targets. You'd be out missing them! That's not the right spirit to start working together. -We're not working together! -Not now or ever! -Cannot stop merger. -I just did. And get us a range! That dress sure had me fooled. I thought you was getting to be a lady. It's gonna be a pleasure to give you a lesson in marksmanship. You couldn't give me a lesson in long-distance spitting! "Anything you can do I can do better I can do anything better than you -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can "Anything you can be I can be greater Sooner or later I'm greater than you -"No, you're not -"Yes, I am -"No, you're not -"Yes, I am -"No, you're not -"Yes, I am "I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge "I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow -"I can live on bread and cheese -"And only on that? -"Yes -"So can a rat "Any note you can reach I can go higher "I can sing anything higher than you -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can "No, you can't "Yes, I can "Anything you can buy I can buy cheaper I can buy anything cheaper than you -"Fifty cents -"Forty cents -"Thirty cents -"Twenty cents -"You can't -"Yes, I can "Anything you can say I can say softer "I can say anything softer than you -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can "I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker "I can drink it quicker and get even sicker -"I can open any safe -"Without getting caught -"Sure -"That's what I thought, you crook "Any note you can hold I can hold longer "I can hold any note longer than you -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can "Yes, you can! "Anything you can wear I can wear better "In what you wear I'd look better than you -"In my coat -"In your vest -"In my shoes -"In your hat -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can "Anything you can say I can say faster "I can say anything faster than you -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can -"I can jump a hurdle -"I can wear a girdle -"I can knit a sweater -"I could fill it better "I can do most anything -"Can you bake a pie -"No "Neither can I "Any note you can sing I can sing sweeter "I can sing anything sweeter than you "No, you can't "Yes, I can "No, you can't "Yes, I can -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can "No, you can't, can't, can't "Yes, I can, can, can -"No, you can't -"Yes, I can" Ladies and gentlemen. You are about to witness a contest of marksmanship... ...for the championship of the world... ...between Miss Annie Oakley... ...and Mr. Frank Butler! Straight shooting, using clay targets... ...the best out of 100 shots... ...five shots at a time. This one fixed. I hope you know what you're doing. Annie won't like losing this match. She like. Annie win match, lose Frank. Annie lose match, win Frank. We make peace medicine. Is that satisfactory? Unless he'd like a handicap. Let's get started. I've got a date in town with a lady... ...and I've only got a half-hour to beat her. Beat me! You wouldn't want to make a bet on that, would you? -Anytime! -You got it! -Give me that case with the medals. -Wait, now. Let's not get hasty. I'm betting all these medals against those three tin badges of yours. Annie, you can't bet away $100,000. That's our whole bankroll. -You don't think I'll lose, do you? -Sure. I mean, no! -Here they are. -Here, let me hold the stakes. You and your peace medicine. You have heard the rules of the contest. Are you ready? -Ready. -Ready? Ready! Pull! Miss! Pull! Miss! -Charlie, get me another gun! -Yeah. Come on. What's the matter? Nothing. I was just trying to make a little war medicine. Watch this one, Mr. Frank Butler! Pull! Miss! -I don't know what's the matter with me. -Now, steady, Annie. Charlie, give me another gun! Here, honey. Try mine for luck. -Did you call me "honey"? -Sure I did. Go on. Try it. Pull! Pull! Now, I'm gonna make up what I lost. Of course, you were just giving me a handicap. Sure. Pull! Pull! Hit! Pull! Hit! Pull! Hit! Pull! The great Miss Oakley. Here. I don't need any luck from you. -Yes, you do! -No, I don't. Give me another gun, Charlie. You have better luck with this one. I don't know what's the matter with me. You do fine. Keep missing, you win. Be second-best, Annie. You tell me, can't get a man with gun. Remember? Yeah. You get man with this gun. Why didn't I think of that? Give me that gun, Papa Bull! Pull! Miss! Pull! Miss! I can't. I quit. I concede this match to Mr. Frank Butler, the greatest sharpshooter in the world. -You don't know what you're doing! -Yes, I do. It just ain't no use. I ain't the champion anymore. I'm only second-best. -Ain't that right, Papa Bull? -That's right, Little Sure Shot. I don't know what will happen to me. I guess I'll have to go back to Dark County. Go on. He won the medals. Charlie, give him the medals. Charlie! Give him those medals. -Annie, these belong to you. -No. You won them. You keep them. We're gonna be partners. Partners? Butler and Oakley? In alphabelitical order. "There's no business Like show business "Like no business I know "Everything about it is appealing "Everything the traffic will allow "Nowhere could you get that happy feeling "When you are stealing that extra bow "There's no people like show people "They smile when they are low "Even with a turkey that you know will fold "You may be stranded out in the cold "Still you wouldn't change it for a sack of gold "Let's go on with the show! " |
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