1
Hey, ma, look. A airplane.
What?
Airplane.
Oh, yeah. Huh.
Who was TV's Kojak?
Darren Mcgavin.
Kojak, not Kolchak.
Oh, um...
- How many letters?
- Seven.
Do you have any letters already?
Yeah. The third
letter is a v, I think.
I'm not sure.
Blank-blank-blank-v-
blank-blank-blank. Right?
Yes, I think.
It's a bald guy, right?
Ladies and gentlemen,
as we start our descent,
please make sure your seat
backs and tray tables
are in full upright position,
make sure your seat belt
is fastened securely
and all carry-on
luggage is stowed
beneath the seat in front of
you or in the overhead bins.
Please turn off all
electronic devices
until we are safely
parked at the gate.
Thank you.
November 12th, 1995.
Dear Michael.
Fuck you. Just fuck you.
You just walk away?
After all you said to me?
After all we did?
After all those
fucking promises?
After all that fucking fucking?
Ladies and gentlemen,
allow me to be the first
to welcome you to Cincinnati,
where the local time
is 7:43 P.M.,
and the temperature is
68 degrees Fahrenheit.
We will be taxiing for a
while, so please stay seated
until the pilot turns off
the "fasten seat belt" light.
Sorry I grabbed your hand.
It's okay.
It's a reflex.
I'm usually sitting
next to my wife.
I don't like to fly.
I said it's okay.
You can let go now, though.
Robert Hernandez,
please pick up
the white courtesy phone.
Please, Robert Hernandez to the
white courtesy phone, please.
Welcome to cincinnati/north
Kentucky international airport.
While on the moving sidewalk,
please stand to the...
Hello. Hi.
I need to go to the Fregoli.
Downtown.
Yup.
Ladies and gentlemen,
your attention, please.
No parking or waiting allowed.
Unattended vehicles
in this area will be towed.
Thanks. Yup.
Can I smoke in here?
You see that sign?
Oh.
You're from England, right?
Yeah, I'm from England.
I can tell by your accent.
And the whistling,
that's British airways.
It's Lakme, actually.
Nah, that's British airways.
Anyway, I have
an ear for accents.
How's the weather
there now? Good?
Well, I'm from there originally.
I live here now.
In sin-sin city,
you know, as I call it?
Not here. The states.
"The states." I like that.
"Across the pond. The states.
"The trolley. Cheerio. Put
another shrimp on the Barbie."
I like all that English stuff.
Whereabout in "the states"?
Los Angeles.
Oh, la, la. Yes, sir.
Oh, yeah. Tinseltown.
Well, Cincinnati's a great city, too.
Don't knock it.
I wasn't. I'm sure it is.
Damn straight.
First time?
Once before.
Oh, it's changed since then.
You ought to check it out,
you know, while you're here.
Yeah, I will. Thanks.
Yeah. You're welcome.
Fuck you, asshole!
Yeah, you oughta check it out.
Check it out.
The zoo is great.
World-class, they say.
Many, many important,
you know, uh,
whatchamacallit,
endangered species,
breeding programs, you know.
It's famous for it.
Pandas. Other things.
Owls. Uh-huh.
That sounds fascinating.
Damn straight.
Yeah, you should check it out.
Oh! And you gotta try
the Cincinnati chili.
It's chili like you never had.
Trust me.
La chili? England chili?
Forget about it.
They make it here
with cinnamon and chocolate
and they serve it over pasta.
Imagine that if you can.
I'll try to, yeah. Thanks.
Is there a toy store
near the hotel?
A toy store?
You mean, a "toy" store?
Yeah, toy store.
Yeah, there's a "toy" store
about two blocks up.
It's open all night.
Real class place.
I have a pickup call
at 16th and Lincoln.
Anybody in the area?
Anyway, there's a lot
to see in the city.
Revitalized downtown...
I'm only here for a day.
What? I'm just here for a day.
You know, I'm sorry.
I'm not getting that.
The accent.
I'm just here for a day.
Well, the zoo then.
You don't need more
than a day for the zoo.
It's just zoo-sized.
And the chili.
You only need, like,
an hour for the chili.
Hey, that's Michael stone.
Michael stone.
Harris, can you get
these bags, please?
That's Michael stone.
Hello. Welcome to the Fregoli.
Hi, I'm checking in. Stone.
Welcome, Mr. stone.
Oh, there we go. Michael stone.
Smoking, king-sized bed.
And you'll be with us
for just one night, sir?
One night. Yes.
I'll just need
to make an imprint
of your credit card,
for incidentals,
and we'll be all set.
I'd like a quiet room,
if you have one.
Yes, sir. Of course.
I have a charming deluxe smoking
junior suite on the tenth floor
with a king-sized bed.
Far above the street noise.
That sounds good. Great.
So it's all set then.
Dennis here will
show you to your room.
Oh, thank you.
Right this way, sir.
My name is Dennis. Hi.
After you, sir.
So how was your trip in?
It was fine, thanks.
Good.
Bumpy? At all? Uh, no.
I'm sorry? No.
Oh, well, you're safe now.
I think the room will
be to your liking, sir.
Just up here to the left, sir.
There you go, after you.
Nice weather we're having. Yeah.
What? Yes.
Yes, the weather is very good.
Very, very, very, very good.
Sixty-eight degrees Fahrenheit.
And here we are.
After you, sir.
It's the bathroom.
Air conditioning and
heat controls here.
TV, remote control. Mini-bar.
All self-explanatory, I think.
Um...
Ice machine down the hall.
And would you like me to get
you some ice before I leave?
No, I'm okay, thanks.
Here you go.
Oh. Thank you very much, sir.
If you need anything at all,
please just give us a ring.
My name's Dennis. Thanks.
Good night. Good night.
Touch the door to the room.
If it feels hot, do not open it.
Fill the tub with water,
soak a towel,
and place it in the space
at the bottom of the door.
If the door is not hot,
you may leave the room,
but bring your room key with you
in case exits are blocked
and you need to get back in.
Hmm?
Room service.
How may I help you, Mr. stone?
Um, I'd like to order
some room service.
Yes.
I'll have the bibb lettuce
salad and the salmon.
Yes, sir.
Would you like anything
to drink tonight?
No. I'll find something
in the mini-bar.
Very good.
Dessert? We have a...
No, no, no, thanks.
Very good, sir.
So that's a bibb
lettuce, Gorgonzola,
prosciutto, and walnut salad.
Yes.
With honey raspberry
vinaigrette dressing.
Yes.
And the wild-caught copper
river Alaska salmon amandine.
Yes. With baby asparagus...
Yes. ...And the black
truffle broth.
Yes. Very good.
And that's for room 1007?
Yes.
Very good.
It's 9:13 now.
It should be there
within 35 minutes,
which will make it 9:48.
Thank you.
Thank...
Hello?
Hey.
Oh, hi.
You just get in?
I'm at the hotel. How are you?
Pre-menstrual.
How was the flight?
Ah, it was okay. A little bumpy.
Oh, I hate that.
Just a minute, Henry!
No, I'm on the phone!
Just a minute!
What?
No, it's daddy! Donna.
Daddy! Donna.
Daddy! Donna!
He wants to say hi.
Okay. Donna, I don't want to...
Hold on.
He's coming downstairs.
He's in his pirate suit.
Come on, Henry. Daddy's waiting.
Yes. It's long-distance!
Jesus.
Here he is. Okay.
Hi, slugger.
Say something.
It's long-distance.
Hi, daddy. I'm a pirate.
Are you? That's great. I'm
glad to hear your voice.
Did you buy me something?
Not yet. But I will.
I just got here.
Okay, I love you.
Take care. Bye.
Well, he gets
right to the point.
Yeah.
So, um...
What else? I mean,
how's your room?
It's, you know, it's a room.
It's nice, I guess. Big bed.
Oh, that's good. You can
thrash about all you like.
Okay, Donna, it's not that I like it.
It's restlessness.
Okay, okay.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
You doing anything tonight?
No.
I ordered room service.
I'll watch a movie or something.
I don't know.
I should get some sleep.
Okay.
Well, I better go.
I've got to get
dinner together for hen.
Okay.
Have a good night.
Okay.
Good luck tomorrow.
Yeah, thanks.
Okay, bye. Bye.
"Thank you.
"It is my privilege today to talk
to you about customer service,
"what it is and why it's
an essential component
"of any successful
business enterprise.
"The front line of every
customer department
"is the group of folks who
interact directly with the public.
"The telephone representative
at corporate headquarters,
"the retail associate on the
floor of the regional store,
"the guys or gal..."
Fuck.
- You bitch.
- Asshole.
Then why are you still here?
I'm leaving. I just
need to find my wallet.
Why don't you find your
balls while you're at it?
You knew I didn't
want to get married.
Yeah. Well, you agreed to it.
You're a grownup.
Yeah, I'm a grownup. You
remind me of that every day.
Well, someone has to.
Bitch.
Asshole.
I'm going.
Oh, yeah?
Where are you gonna go?
I'm just going. Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you. Fuck you.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
Why don't you fuck off, bitch?
You fuck off.
You know, my mother was right
when she said you're a bitch.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
Housekeeping. Would you like
turndown service tonight?
Thank you.
It is my privilege today to talk
to you about customer service.
What it is and why...
Shit.
I mean, what the fuck
did I do, Michael?
It's a goddamn mystery.
It's like the goddamn
mystery of the ages.
Oh, shit.
One minute,
we were going to spend
the rest of our lives together,
and the next...
Amarossi. Okay.
Hi, Bella. It's Michael.
Shit.
Hi, Bella, it's Michael.
Hi, Bella...
Hi, Bella, it's Michael.
Fuck.
Six...
Hello?
Hello?
Hello. Um...
May I speak to
Bella Amarossi, please?
This is Bella.
Bella?
Hi, I wasn't sure...
Hi... I... uh...
It's, uh... Who is this?
It's Michael.
I didn't recognize your voice.
Michael? Michael stone.
Michael stone. From...
Oh, my god!
Michael?
Oh, my god!
Wow.
Where are you?
I'm in Cincinnati on business
and I thought of you and I
looked you up in the phone book
and there you were, so, uh...
It's good to hear your voice.
Yours, too.
I'm shaking.
Jesus, how long has it been?
Ten years.
Eleven.
Oh, right.
Uh...
I'm married. Oh.
I have a kid.
Oh.
That's great.
Congratulations. Thanks.
You?
No.
I've missed you.
Yeah.
That's a weird thing to say.
I know. I'm sorry.
Well,
it doesn't matter. It's all
water under the fucking bridge.
The fucking bridge.
Yeah.
Well, I am sorry.
I do think about you a lot.
Yeah.
I guess the postcards must've
gotten lost in the mail.
Do you want to maybe
get a drink, Bella?
Oh.
I don't know, Michael.
This is all very intense.
It's like out of the blue.
I just came out of this stupid
relationship with a psycho.
And I just...
I don't know, I'm not
sure you want to be
the victim to my current
emotional imbalance tonight.
Yeah.
Well, I understand.
I mean,
I could, I guess. I don't know.
Jesus, Michael,
it's been so fucking long.
And you just call?
Out of nowhere?
I'm sorry. It was stupid.
Everything's just screwed-up.
I'm not thinking straight.
There's something wrong with me.
Well, where are you staying?
The Fregoli.
La-di-da, you're doing well.
Oh. You know. It's boring.
Everything's boring.
Okay, I could meet you there.
At the bar. I have to
go to work early, so,
I can't stay very long.
Yeah, that sounds great.
It'll be lovely to see you.
This is really weird.
I've gained some weight. Not
terrible or anything, but just
so you don't look at me
like freaked-out or something,
because I just couldn't
handle that right now.
I wouldn't do that.
Okay.
And I have a fake tooth
in the front
because I fell and hit a
cement bench with my mouth.
But I don't think you can tell.
They matched it pretty well.
Okay.
I look forward to seeing you.
Bye, Michael.
Bye, Bella.
Soak a towel,
and place it in the space...
What is the meaning
of this, may I ask?
Oh, mother, Godfrey loves me.
He put me in the shower.
What ever are you talking about?
Godfrey loves me.
Godfrey loves me.
Godfrey,
I demand an explanation.
I think, perhaps, madam,
that I had better resign.
Yes, I think you'd better.
That's a very good idea.
What do you think your father
would say to all this?
I don't care what anybody says.
Godfrey loves me.
Now see here, young lady,
you take a bath and
put on some dry clothes.
And come downstairs immediately.
Do you hear? Godfrey loves me.
Oh, I've never heard of
anything like this in my life.
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.
Mmm.
There you are. Hey. Oh.
Michael?
Bella!
Mmm.
You look great.
Thank you.
You, too.
Have a seat. Please.
It's really lovely to see you.
Thanks.
Let me get
the waitress' attention.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
It's busier here
than I would've thought.
Hi. Do you know what you want?
Um...
I... what are you
having, Michael?
A Belvedere Martini
with a twist.
Same old Michael.
I'll have one of those.
Make it two.
Back in a minute.
So.
You look good.
Tell me what's going on.
Not too much.
I'm embarrassed to say.
I'm working for the state,
doing graphics for the
health department.
Graphics?
Yeah, I design pamphlets.
You know, teen pregnancy, STD's,
diabetes.
I see. Well, that
sounds interesting.
It's okay.
My boss is a dick.
I guess that fits right in with
the teen pregnancy and the STD's.
Do I look bad?
I look bad, don't I?
No, you look good.
Why did you go, Michael?
I don't know.
I can't explain.
Here we are. Two Belvedere
Martinis straight-up with twists.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You're welcome. Enjoy.
Old times.
Old times.
That's nice.
Yeah.
I've missed you.
Me, too.
Try to.
Try to what?
Try to explain.
Huh.
I think I might have
psychological problems.
Oh, good. That clears
things up. Thanks.
It's hard to explain.
I've been running
for a long time now.
Running?
We were special together.
That's what I thought.
Yeah. I agree.
But things kind of shifted.
But just like
completely suddenly?
I was so pissed at you.
I was so fucking hurt.
I didn't get out
of bed for a year.
Do you realize that?
Jesus.
I'm sorry.
God, you drank that fast.
I get a lot of practice.
Listen, do you feel
that you changed?
I mean, do you feel
that you changed?
What are you talking about?
I don't know. I don't know.
Like, in any way? Like, in
any way did you change?
Like, while we were together.
Like, did I change you?
Did you change?
Did anything change?
Did a change occur? Did a...
Michael, you're freaking me out.
I can't take being more
freaked out right now.
I'm sorry. I'm a mess.
I'm just...
Do you want to maybe go up to
my room for another drink?
We could talk more privately.
What?
We're not going
to fuck, Michael.
I wasn't... I just...
I'm just really bloody lonely,
and we had something.
And I thought maybe we could
figure out what it was.
You've got to be kidding.
Oh, this isn't going well.
I'll just get the
check then. Miss?
Jesus. Wow. What? Miss?
I can't... I can't believe you.
Fuck you, Michael. Fuck off.
Bella! I'm just
trying to understand!
Isn't that Michael stone?
It's Michael stone, yes.
And the next minute
you're out the door
with barely a goodbye.
Have a good fucking
life, Michael.
Love, Bella.
Hello. May I help you?
Hello there.
I am looking for a toy
for my son, Henry.
Perhaps you've heard
of him, he's a pirate.
Oh.
Oh, dear, this is not quite
the store I expected.
No, I suppose not
those kind of toys.
It's not my night.
What's that behind you?
Oh, that? That's an antique.
It's Japanese.
It's quite unusual.
It's pretty.
Hot. Hot.
Hot!
Ahh!
Ahh! Fuck!
Fuck!
Cold! Fuck you! Fuck!
Fuck you!
Fuck!
Okay.
There we go.
Mmm.
Anyway, I can't wait
to see you when I get back.
How's Thursday?
No, it's super-fancy.
Oh, my god. Is he cute?
Jesus.
Someone else.
Where are my fucking pants?
Fuck!
Hello, miss?
Shit. Shit!
Yes?
I'm sorry to bother you. I was
just looking for my friend's room.
Not here. I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Hi! Oh.
Hello. Can I help you? I
thought you were someone else.
No, sorry. I thought you
were someone else.
That's okay.
Yes? Yes? Um...
I'm sorry to bother you.
I'm looking for...
Who is it?
My name's Michael stone. Oh!
Oh! Hold on!
Hi! Oh, my god! It's you.
Hi, I'm sorry to bother you...
No. Not at all!
Do you want to come in?
I was just looking for someone.
I think I've got the wrong...
Who's there, em?
It's Mr. stone! Michael stone!
Really?
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Hello!
Oh! Do I look awful? I was
just taking my makeup off.
Oh, my god. Ugh.
Don't look at me.
Hello.
No, you look lovely.
I can't believe
you're in our room.
We came here from Akron
just to hear you speak.
Oh, my god.
Please don't look at me.
Well, I'm certainly
very flattered.
You can look at me. Emily.
Is there something
we can do for you?
I mean... I don't mean
that in a weird way.
- Although...
- No, I'm kidding!
I'm just... Oh, my god.
Oh! I was...
I was trying to find my friend.
I thought this was
his room. And...
Oh, nope.
Nope. Unless he's
hiding under the bed!
We think you're super-brilliant.
We both read your book. Oh!
Yay for your book!
Thank you.
Are you ladies in
customer services?
Well, yes, as a matter of fact.
Mmm-hmm. Uh-huh.
We're both team leaders
in a phone room.
We read your book
and productivity went up
90% in our department.
You're so smart.
I'm not sure I should even
say words in front of you,
because you'll see
how dumb I am.
Shut up, Lisa.
No, don't. Don't shut up, Lisa.
You have a miraculous voice.
Oh, god, no!
Yick. Me?
Yick. No way. No way.
Lisa, you're being nuts.
Say, would you ladies like to
get a drink at the bar, maybe?
We could chat.
Talk about
phone system innovations.
Oh, um...
Um, yeah! I think we could manage that.
Right, Lisa?
Do you need to find
your friend, though?
No.
Two beautiful ladies
trumps my friend.
Oh, my goodness.
Thank you so much!
I'm blushing.
Yes, thank you so much!
I'm blushing, too.
I can't believe
we bumped into you.
You know,
we sprung for this hotel
because this is like
a mini-vacation for us.
We can't even afford it.
But look what happened!
It's so worth it.
Oh.
I love this song.
How I long to be near...
Shut up, Lisa.
I even got a massage
tonight in the room!
Mmm.
It's good to splurge
every now and again.
Emily and I work
for Tessman in Akron.
We're only
customer service reps,
so you can imagine our salaries.
Tessman? Tessman foods.
We make packaged bakery items
shipped all over the Midwest.
Nibble-o's,
choco-bricks,
apple-flats, strawberry trifles,
knick-knacks, scroochies?
Oh, yes. Yes. Splendid.
I'm familiar.
Brownie balls, don't forget.
Brownie balls.
Yeah, they're new.
Hello again. What can I get you?
Oh, hi.
Uh, do you ladies
know what you want?
Um, I'll have an apple
mojito, please.
Can you make those
with apple schnapps?
Yum. Yum. Yum.
I think probably.
That sounds really, really good.
I'll have the same.
And for you, sir?
Belvedere Martini,
dry, straight-up, twist.
I'll be back in a minute.
So, what do you
ladies do for fun?
Besides drinking?
Emily, stop! God! Hey!
Well, I like to drink.
I do, too! But we do
lots of other things.
We hike and bike ride. Yeah.
I love to read.
Go to the movies.
I'm pretty good at scrabble.
Strip poker. Um... Emily!
Have you two been friends long?
Since junior high.
Oh, I play the
Jew's harp a little.
I don't like to say "Jew's harp"
because it's offensive to Jews.
Anyway, I bought one of
those, um, self-teaching...
Self-teaching?
Is that right?
Or is it self-learning?
The Jew's harp
is an underrated instrument.
I know!
People think of it as
just this thing, you know?
Mmm-hmm.
Here we are, folks.
Two apple mojitos.
Thank you. Mmm. Thanks.
You're welcome. And one more
Belvedere Martini for the gentleman.
Thanks.
To us.
Hurry, hurry.
We're gonna miss the elevator.
Go. Go, go, go!
Emily, stop it.
What floor are we, anyway?
Ten.
Are you sure? I think...
No, I want to press it! Darn it.
Sorry. My hand just jumped.
I love pressing the buttons.
I'm sorry.
You always get to press it, Lisa.
Don't be greedy.
I know. 'Cause I love it.
It's so... I don't know...
Buttony. No, that's not it.
Mmm, Buttonish?
Is it stupid to like
to press buttons?
Shut up, Lisa.
Pressing buttons
is good clean fun.
Exactly! That's exactly right.
See, em?
It was nice getting
to meet you ladies.
Oh, it was an honor
spending time with you.
Thank you for all those mojitos!
My pleasure.
Yes, thank you kindly.
Mojitos. Mojitos.
What a funny word.
You're welcome.
Mojitos.
Well, I go this way,
so I'll say good night.
Oh, pooh.
Yeah, pooh on you.
Pooh, pooh, pooh.
Good night, Michael.
Say good night, Lisa.
Good night, Michael.
Pooh.
Good night.
Uh...
Oh, Lisa?
Yes?
Uh...
I was wondering
if maybe you'd want
to come to my room
for a little nightcap.
Oh.
I feel odd asking
in front of you, Emily.
But I didn't know how else...
No, no. That's okay.
I understand.
You sure you don't mean Emily?
Everyone always
likes Emily better.
Uh...
Ugh. This is awkward.
I'm going to the room, Lisa.
I'll see you later maybe.
Have fun.
Em, I came here with you.
I'm not going to
just abandon you.
Oh, don't be an idiot, Lisa.
He's gorgeous.
Yeah, it's okay?
Have fun.
Good night.
So, I'm over this way.
Okay.
Have fun. Good night.
Oh!
Oh, Jesus!
Are you okay?
I'm okay, I'm okay.
It happens all the time.
Mmm?
Oh.
Look how neat
you left your room,
with the little slippers
laid out next to the bed
and the blanket turned down
all ready for sleepy time.
No, the maid did that.
They come and
fix it up at night.
It's called turn-down service.
Oh, god. I'm so embarrassed.
Lisa the moron. I don't...
I don't stay in
hotels like this.
Emily and I splurged, because
it's like a vacation.
I'm an idiot. No, you're not.
Would you like a drink?
Yes, please. I would
really like a drink.
I don't think I can make an apple mojito.
I can order one.
No, that's okay.
I'll just have a glass
of wine, please.
I'm glad to get you
alone for a while.
Yeah? Yeah.
You don't like Emily?
Everybody likes Emily.
Emily's a prince.
Ess.
Emily's a Princess.
She's very nice.
I just felt
a sort of
special thing with you.
Really? Hmm.
Most people like Emily.
Thank you. Here you go.
Thank you.
Most people don't really
like to look at me too much
because, you know...
I think you're lovely.
No, you don't.
I've always done phone work
because I'd never get hired
to work in a store
or a restaurant or...
How did it happen?
If it's okay for me to ask?
I don't, um...
I don't like to talk about it.
May I kiss you there?
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god. No.
Oh, god.
Sorry.
You're not like
a pervert or something?
Like some weird version
of a chubby chaser?
No.
I just don't understand why you
would want to kiss me there.
Because...
Because I like you.
Oh.
Why?
I mean, I'm not smart like Emily.
And I'm ugly.
You're a really smart guy.
You should like Emily.
I don't even understand a lot
of the words in your book.
I sat there with a dictionary.
I try to learn. But I'm
never going to be smart.
And I'm ugly.
I find it enormously charming
that you read any book
with a dictionary next to you.
My last boyfriend
was eight years ago.
And he wasn't even my boyfriend.
He was almost 60 and fat
and he worked in human resources
and he had a wife and his
daughter was older than me.
And the only reason
he pursued me
was because he thought
he'd have a good shot.
Which he did.
I think you're extraordinary.
Why?
I don't know yet.
It's just obvious
to me that you are.
I never went to college.
I've never even made it past
team leader in my department.
Your voice is like
magic.
Oh, really?
Wow.
Well, you know,
I have been doing
phone work for
a really long time now,
so I pride myself on sounding
pleasant and professional,
and having a pleasing
phone voice and manner.
It works. Do you sing?
What? No.
No! God!
You're weird!
I mean, I sing. Everybody sings.
I just don't sing well.
I sometimes sing along
with the radio.
I love Cyndi Lauper.
Because she's got
such a great voice
and she doesn't care
what people think about her.
She's just herself, and that
takes a lot of courage.
I admire that.
You know what I mean?
Yeah. I think so.
Would you sing
one of her songs for me?
No!
Come on.
Come on. It'd make me so
happy to hear you sing.
You're being weird. Please.
It'll make me happy.
I don't know.
Okay, crazy man.
Just a little.
Okay, here goes.
Don't laugh at me!
I come home in
the morning light
my mother says when you
gonna live your life right
oh, mother, dear
we're not the fortunate ones
and girls, they wanna have fun
oh, girls just wanna have fun
some boys take
a beautiful girl
and hide her away
from the rest of the world
I want to be the one
to walk in the sun
and girls, they wanna have fun
oh, girls just wanna have
that's all they really want
some fun
when the working day is done
oh, girls, they wanna have fun
oh, girls just
wanna have fun
That's beautiful...
Girls, they want
wanna have fun, girls
they wanna have
just wanna they just wanna
just wanna they just wanna
oh, girls just wanna
just wanna have fun
Okay. That's it.
Happy?
That was so beautiful.
No, it was...
Oh, my god, are those tears?
It was beautiful.
It's such a great song.
"I want to be the one
who walks in the sun."
That describes so perfectly
who I want to be.
You're so sensitive, Michael.
It's incredibly sweet.
It's your voice, Lisa.
Keep talking.
Tell me everything.
You're, like, amazing.
Why are you doing this?
Are you making fun of me?
No. No.
Oh, god.
Oh, my god.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Will you...
Will you kiss me again?
I hope to.
I hope you do, too.
Sometime.
Oh.
I haven't been with
anybody in eight years.
Let's just lie together
and you can tell me
about your day.
Yes. Okay.
Um...
Well, em picked me up at,
like, 7:00 this morning
so we could drive down here.
We stopped at Starbucks
and I got a grande
mocha frappuccino.
Emily got a grande Chai.
I looked at the road
atlas and figured
it's a little over 200 miles,
so at 60 miles an hour, we could
do it in under four hours
with bathroom breaks
and whatever.
The 71 goes pretty much
straight here, so it was easy.
We listened to a lot of
no doubt, which em likes.
And I brought my
Sarah Brightman cds.
She sings this
beautiful version of
girls just want to
have fun in Italian.
It's called Le ragazze
vogliono meglio.
Do you want to hear it?
Please.
Very pretty.
Oh, my god, it is.
I want to learn Italian someday.
It's so wonderful.
It's just so romantic.
Keep talking.
Um...
I like different languages.
I love French and
Italian the most.
I don't like German.
It sounds mean to me.
All those "ach's."
And I love Japanese, obviously.
Oh, I love Portuguese.
I love to listen to
Brazilian singers.
They sing in Portuguese in
Brazil, a little-known fact.
It's kind of weird
because it's the only
country in south America
where they sing in Portuguese.
It's an anomaly, right? Uh-huh.
I learned that word
in your book.
I like that word.
Anomaly. I like
the way it sounds
and I like what it means.
I feel like an anomaly.
Before I used to know
there was a word for it,
it made me feel bad
to be different.
Now I kind of like it.
Sometimes.
I mean, not a lot,
but sometimes.
It makes me special, sort of.
You know what I mean?
Anomalisa.
Oh, I love that!
It's like
"anomaly" plus my name.
Will you call me
that all the time?
I guess it's long to
say "all the time."
I mean, I guess I'm assuming
there is going to be
an "all the time."
There's not going to be an
"all the time," is there?
It's just now. Some weird
thing for just now.
It's okay, though. It's
really nice for just now.
It's an anomaly.
Sorry. What? Did I tickle you?
Just a little. Sorry.
It's okay.
Just right there
I'm a little ticklish.
Okay. I won't touch you there.
No, you can. It's okay. No.
It's okay. No, it's okay.
Do you talk during sex?
God! I don't know!
It's been a long time.
Do you want me to? Or not?
I could do either.
If you could.
Or just, you know,
make some noises.
Noises?
Like moaning or something.
Oh. Okay. I could do that.
That's nice.
Does this feel okay?
Yes. Sorry. I'm just...
I'm a little shy.
Oh, it's fine.
Ouch!
My hair. Sorry. I'm sorry.
It's okay. I'm sorry. It's okay.
Maybe if we can just turn
a little bit like this?
Sure.
Is that better? Much.
Good.
You feel so good.
You do, too.
Oh. Oh.
What? You don't want that?
No, I'm just, um...
I'm kind of shy about that, too.
Don't be shy. It'll be good.
I really want to.
Okay.
Okay, go ahead.
You're being quiet.
Is it not good?
No, it's fine.
It's good. It's, um...
Just a little bit more gentle maybe.
At first, maybe.
Sorry. It's okay.
Better?
Yes.
Could you come up here, please?
Ahh!
That was really nice.
Uh-huh.
I don't want to lose you.
I lose everyone.
What do you mean?
I don't know.
It doesn't matter.
Oh.
Hello?
Hello, Mr. stone?
Yes. It's early. Who is it?
Good morning, sir.
My name is Lawrence Gill
and I'm the general manager
of the hotel.
Yes?
I have a matter of some delicacy
I need to talk to you about.
- Mmm-hmm. What's going on?
- Who is it?
Would it be possible for you
to come down to my office
to chat for a few moments?
I suppose.
I'd greatly appreciate it.
If you take the elevator
to the basement level
and turn left when you get off,
you'll see
the administrative offices.
You can just ask for me.
My name is Lawrence Gill.
Yeah, okay.
Who was that?
Lawrence Gill.
Hello. Lawrence Gill's office.
May I help you?
At 2:30 today.
No, I'm sorry...
Hello, I'm here to see Mr. Gill.
Yes, of course, one moment.
Mr. Gill, a Mr...
Stone. A Mr. stone
is here to see you.
Yes, sir. You can go right in.
Thank you for coming, Mr. stone.
It's over here.
It's big, I know.
They offered me 300 square on the
fifth floor or this down here.
Not a hard decision, right?
Take the golf cart.
That's what it's for.
Watch out for
the sunken meeting area.
No, no, you can just
go around those.
No, don't try to drive through.
There. There you are.
Ah.
Have a seat.
Do you like the fish?
I just had them put in.
Salt water tanks.
They're hard to maintain.
Those are leprechaun fish.
The ones with the
sort of Irish faces.
Is there some problem?
No, sir. It's nothing like that.
What then?
Nothing.
Excuse me?
It's just...
What?
Well...
Please, I have
a conference to attend.
Oh, yes, of course.
"Customer service."
And I've read your book myself.
Hotel productivity up 90%.
You and I are in the
same business, really,
when you come down to it.
Service. Wouldn't you agree?
Yes.
Yes.
Anyway, I don't know how to put
this, so I'll just put it.
I understand that you had a
guest in your room last night.
Is that a crime?
No, not at all.
Certainly, hoteliers are in the
business of being discreet
about our guests' philandering.
Philandering?
No, it isn't that.
My choice of words...
It's not about that at all.
How do you even
know that, anyway?
Well, I...
Mr. stone, may I be
candid with you?
I guess.
I don't know what the
hell you're getting at.
Well, I, um...
Um...
I love you.
Right, I'm leaving.
No, no. Look. I've never talked
to you like this before.
It has not been appropriate.
Perhaps it's not still,
but I've been unable to
contain myself this morning.
I love you. And I want
what's best for you.
And if you need to have
an affair, I understand,
but have it with me.
Goodbye.
Have it with
anyone at all, anybody,
just not Lisa.
No. Wait!
We're all here for you.
We're all one for you.
Come back!
Do you like any of these here?
They're very pretty.
That one's Stephanie.
Stephanie, say hello
to Mr. stone.
Hello. You can fuck me
if you want, Mr. stone.
Or me.
Any of us.
Just not Lisa.
Not Lisa!
Lisa.
Whoa!
Lisa!
Here's your
breakfast, Mr. stone.
Whoa!
Lisa!
Lisa! Lisa!
Yes? Oh, hello, Michael.
Where...
Where is she, Emily?
She's not here. Michael?
Lisa, let's go! What?
Lisa, don't go with him.
He's insane.
What's going on?
I don't have the time
to tell you. Just come!
Where are you taking me?
Em, what's going on?
Oh, for god's sake. Lisa, pull
free from him and come back here.
Where are you going to go, Michael?
Be reasonable.
There's nowhere to go.
Oh! You're hurting me.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I had to get you away.
You weren't safe.
Safe from what? What
are you talking about?
They don't want
us to be together.
I think they'll kill
you if they need to.
Michael?
They explained it to me.
The hotel manager,
he explained it to me.
They're all one person
and they love me.
Everyone is one person,
but you and me.
You're the only other
person in the world!
Really?
That's so beautiful.
I'm going to cry.
No, we need to stay together.
Forever.
To protect each other,
to nurture each other.
Oh, my god. Oh, my god, that's...
Are you sure?
Yes.
Yes. Finally.
Finally, I've found you.
I've waited so long
for someone to...
And you're so smart.
We have to get out of here.
My clothes. My stuff.
We'll get new.
Your wife and son.
- They don't exist.
- They're just them.
- Michael? Michael?
- Michael? Michael?
- Michael? Michael?
- Michael?
Michael?
- Michael!
- Oh.
You're having a nightmare
or something.
Oh, man.
You were thrashing.
You hit me in the face
with your elbow.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, it's okay.
I kind of liked it.
It's kind of intimate.
Oh, okay, then. Stick around.
I'm sure you'll get more of those.
I'm a sloppy sleeper.
You're all sweaty.
What was the dream?
I don't know.
Something about
the hotel manager.
Are you hungry?
We could order breakfast.
I have to get ready
for this speech.
Can I have scrambled eggs?
Sure.
I love eggs. Scrambled is
my favorite egg style.
What about yours?
Mmm!
These eggs are delicious.
They're scrambled perfectly.
Do you want to try some?
No. Now here's
what I'm thinking.
Yes?
I want to be with you.
What do you mean?
I need to be with you.
I want to leave my wife.
Really?
Michael, that's a big
decision. I don't...
No, no, no,
it's something I have to do.
I mean, if you're interested.
I mean, yeah. I mean,
it's awfully sudden.
I mean, I don't want
to be responsible
for breaking up a marriage.
Do we need to decide now?
It's been years since I've
felt anything like this.
It's like
a floodgate has opened.
I can't close it. I don't want to.
I love you.
Okay. Um...
I don't know.
It seems so big and...
Oh, gosh, okay.
Yeah, let's do it.
Great! This is so great!
Anomalisa.
So, I'll call Donna
and tell her.
No, maybe I should
go and see her, right?
Yeah, that sounds right.
I think that's
such an important...
Could you not...
You're clicking your fork
against your teeth.
Could you not do that?
Oh, sorry.
People have told me that before.
I know, it's a stupid
unconscious habit.
It's okay.
Anyway, you were saying?
Mmm. Just that I think
it's more respectful.
And you need to speak to Henry
and explain that
this isn't about him.
But it is. It's about him, too.
Oh.
Well, don't tell him that.
He's just a little boy.
Yeah. You're right.
You're being a little
controlling, don't you think?
I don't mean to. I'm sorry.
No, that's okay.
Good. I'm glad...
Please don't talk with food
hanging out of your mouth.
Oh, sorry. I'm a pig. Sorry. No.
No, no, no. It's okay.
So, will you live
in Los Angeles,
or do you need to stay in Ohio?
Um... I'm sorry. Hold on.
I can move to Los Angeles.
I could do that.
Good.
We should go to the zoo
today after your speech.
I hear it's really good.
They have breeding programs
for all these
endangered species.
I'm sorry, what did you say?
Oh. They have breeding programs
for all these
endangered species.
So you get to see
things like pandas,
which I think are awfully cute.
They're not really
bears, I read.
Yeah. Sure. That sounds fine.
What is it?
Nothing. The zoo sounds good.
My stomach hurts. It feels empty.
It's clenched.
Oh.
Well, eat some more
waffle maybe?
Did I do something wrong?
I'm sorry. Darling.
It's okay.
I'm anxious about
my speech, I suppose.
Of course.
Well, we'll have fun after.
We don't have to go to the zoo.
We can just hang out here.
I have the whole weekend till
I have to get back to work.
That's great.
I'm so happy, Michael.
I've waited for someone
like you my whole life.
I've waited, too.
We'll work it all out, right?
Yes. Who would've thunk it?
It's just so beautiful.
Life can be.
Things can work out.
That's the lesson.
Sometimes there's no lesson.
That's a lesson in itself.
I guess so.
I feel anxious, Michael.
I feel something.
Like you're different-acting.
Me? No, no, no. Everything's fine.
I'm just...
I know.
I'm not great to look
at in bright sunlight.
No, you're very pretty.
Okay.
So, we could maybe
go out for a walk
and talk or something. Yes.
So I'll see you after?
Of course.
And...
Uh...
Always remember, the
customer is an individual.
Just like you.
Each person you speak to
has had a day.
Some of their days
have been good, some bad,
but they've all had one.
Each person you speak to
has had a childhood.
Each has a body.
Each body has aches.
What is it to be human?
What is it to ache?
What is it to be alive?
I don't know.
What is it to ache?
I don't know.
What is it to be alive?
I don't know.
Uh, yes. "How do I
talk to a customer?"
How do I talk to a customer?
These are
the important questions
for a customer service
representative.
What do I say? Do I smile
while I'm on the phone?
Well, they can tell
if you're smiling
even if they can't see you.
Did you know that?
Try it as an experiment
on the phone with a friend.
Try it, go ahead.
Watch.
I'm lost.
You see, I was smiling
when I said that.
I've lost my love.
She's an unmoored ship
drifting off to sea.
And I have no one to talk to.
I have no one to talk to.
I have no one to talk to.
I'm sorry. I don't mean
to burden you with that.
I just don't know
what else to do because
I have no one to talk to.
Be friendly to the customer.
Think of the customer
as a friend.
I want to cry, but I can't.
Is it the Zoloft, Dr. Horowitz?
Is it the Zoloft?
My face squeezes into that crying
contortion you all know so well
but nothing comes out.
I need tears.
It's like
not being able to come.
I need tears to tear me in two and
let this nightmare escape, but...
Oh. Um...
Anyway, yes,
don't forget to smile.
It makes a person's day.
And what does it cost you?
A smile is free.
This is not working. This is not working.
This is not working.
The world is falling apart.
The president is a war criminal.
Boo!
America is going down the tubes
and you're talking about
goddamn intelligent design.
They've intentionally destroyed
the public education system
because it's
easier to manipulate
dumb workers and soldiers.
There's no need for that!
Support our troops!
Eh?
Oh, um...
I thought this
was about customer service.
Uh, be personable.
Remember to believe in yourself.
Believe in your company.
And your products or services.
I sweat onto my pillow
every night.
I think there's something
very, very wrong with me.
Be friendly.
Yes, what does it cost you?
Look for what is special
about each individual.
Focus on that
during your conversation.
Our time is limited.
We forget that.
Death comes, that's it.
Soon it's as if
we never existed.
So, remember to smile.
Remember there is someone
out there for everyone.
Someone to love.
Remember every person
you speak to needs love.
Remember to...
Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
Slugger!
What'd you bring me?
In the bag. Let me look!
Let me look!
He gets right to the point.
Yeah.
Hi, honey.
Is this it? Yup.
What is it? A toy.
It's a doll. It's for girls.
It's a girls' doll.
No, no. It's a toy, an antique.
It moves. No, no, it's...
It's stupid, it's stupid,
and the face is broken.
It's an antique, slugger.
That's part of its charm.
Nah, I don't get it.
I don't get it.
What are these words here?
I don't know. It's in Japanese.
Press some buttons. It moves.
What else did you get me?
Well, I didn't get
you anything else...
Surprise!
Jesus! That scared me!
Welcome home, honey.
It's a surprise party.
I don't...
Who are all these people?
Michael, it's great to see you.
Yeah. Oh, thanks.
Who are they?
It's everybody, honey.
What's it doing now, daddy?
I don't recognize any of them.
Michael, how are you? Oh, yeah,
yeah, yeah, how are you?
Daddy, what's coming out of the toy?
I don't know.
God, Michael,
it looks like semen.
I don't know. I just got it at a store.
I don't know.
What's semen, mommy?
It's just a liquid, Henry.
It's just a liquid.
Michael, do you realize
that we love you?
Henry.
Me.
All of us here.
Who are you, Donna?
Who are you, really?
Oh, for fuck's sake!
I'm sorry, Henry.
Mommy said a bad word.
But for fuck's sake, Michael.
I don't know who I am.
I mean, who are you?
Who is anyone? Who could
answer that question?
I don't want you to leave.
- Donna, I'm not leaving.
- Is daddy leaving?
Of course not, slugger.
Where would I go?
Donna? I'm sorry.
Ah.
Well, good to see you.
Thanks very much.
Daddy, what's it doing now?
Singing, slugger. Oh.
Um... um...
Can I go out and play?
Yeah, sure.
I'll stay here and
listen to it till it's over.
September 16th, 2005.
Dear Michael,
I'm sorry to see you go,
but I understand.
Well, I don't understand,
but I accept it.
I'm so glad we had
this time together.
I don't think I ever
felt love like this was.
Maybe someday we'll meet again
under better circumstances.
Love,
Lisa "Anomalisa" Hesselman.
P.S.
I looked up "anomarisa" in my
Japanese-English dictionary.
It turns out it means
"goddess of heaven."
Not that I think of myself
that way, of course.
It's just interesting.
When I see a face
or hear a name
or I'm introduced
to someone new
it doesn't matter,
they're all the same
and none of them is you
when I go to work
or take a walk
and watch what other people do
I'll listen to their idle talk
and none of them is you
where are you
my dear?
Why can't I hear you?
How I wish that you were here
how I long
to be near
you
sometimes at night
I'll pass the time
those endless,
sleepless hours in bed
I'll try to reconstruct
your voice
but only hear
their voice instead
they talk, they yell
in that other voice
they flirt and whisper, too
I'd love them
if I had the choice
but none of them is you
where are you
my dear?
Why can't I hear you?
How I wish that you
were here
how I long
to be near
you
in a dream you came
and held my hand
our love was perfect
in that sphere
the breeze was your whisper
in that land
while the air
stands still right here
no, I've never met you,
my sweet dear
and my friends,
they say you don't exist
but friends are cowards
full of fear
afraid to look at
what they've missed
one day I'll be walking
on the street
that crowded, bustling,
faceless spread
I'll turn the corner
and we'll meet
and I will be no longer dead
and I will be no longer dead
where are you
my dear?
Why can't I hear you?
How I wish
that you were here
how I long
to be near
you