Apartment 212 (2017)

1
Hello?
Hello, is anyone here?
Oh my goodness, aren't you
the cutest little thing?
What?
Wow, retro.
Ha!
Hi.
Oh, my God.
No, no, no, no, my fault.
Note to self, don't sneak up
on the new girl.
Terry Lumley, I uh live
downstairs by the laundry room.
Resident handyman and
all-around helpful guy.
Jennifer.
Nice to meet you, oh,
thank you.
Wow, so you just moved in?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, looks like,
I can't believe you
moved all this stuff yourself,
that's a lot of crap.
If I would've known,
I could've helped you out
with some of that.
Actually...
You got it?
- Yeah I got it.
- Okay.
One step at
a time, you got it.
Okay, here we go, you just
have to lift with the legs,
lift with the legs,
there you go.
Hey.
Mm.
What's that guy's deal?
Who, Fuzzy?
Yeah.
We're not 100%
sure about Fuzzy.
Yeah?
He doesn't seem
to have a real job,
but I have my suspicious
about how he pays the rent.
Really?
I think he grows pot.
Oh, okay,
that would make sense.
You like pot?
You ever smoke it?
No, it's not really my thing.
I, I tried it once when
I was like 15 and I,
I think I slept
for like four days.
Yeah.
What's the deal
with the couple?
The second
apartment from here.
Oh yeah, Pete and Sherry.
I don't know,
how can I put this,
they're um,
they're trailer folk.
Hey, that's a... that's quite a bruise.
How'd you manage to get that?
Fell out of a trailer.
I want you to meet somebody,
come on.
I think the bricks
give it a lot of charm,
and these lighting
fixtures are all original.
What kind of trees are those?
I know nothing about trees.
But I'll tell you something,
just be prepared,
her bark is a little
worse than her bite.
What now?
Claudette,
this is our new tenant.
Oh yeah, McFarland, 212?
Actually, it's Conrad now.
Conrad, right.
So, the apartment,
it looks a little bit different
than it did
on the website.
Hey.
What the hell
did I tell you about that?
God damn hippies.
Yeah.
So, you need something
from me, or what?
No, I just wanted
to say hello.
Oh, well then, hello.
Thanks, Claudette.
Wow.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know how you
plan to top that one, Terry.
Well, don't be so sure,
the night is still young.
We haven't seen the laundry area
or the mailboxes.
Well, I stand corrected then.
Oh, and the spa.
You guys have a spa?
No, be awesome though,
wouldn't it?
Oh, the dumpsters
are really good,
let me show you these over here.
Jenny, listen here,
we both know you are
gonna come crawlin' back
sooner or later,
you ain't never done anything
in your life
except maybe wait tables.
Christ sakes, you don't
even cook worth a damn.
Thank God
for the fuckin' microwave.
Hello?
Hello?
Are you kidding me?
Oh!
Shit.
Damn it.
So, I see here that
the only work you have listed
other than food
service is for
the Weld County Highway
Patrol office?
Yes, I worked there
on and off over the years
doing secretarial work.
You have a phone number
where I could reach them?
911?
Very amusing, Miss Conrad,
but you've omitted
a contact for them
on your references, why is that?
Complicated.
So, other than that,
the only contactable references
are for waitressing,
is that right?
You're a waitress?
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
what are you doing?
I put money in the meter.
You're parked in two spaces.
Jenny?
Let's talk about it later.
Brenda?
Wowee, what has it been,
like, 10 years now?
What are you doing here?
I work here,
we're up on the 18th floor.
What about you?
I just had a job interview
on the third floor.
Are you kidding?
No, why?
Oh, wow.
They moved me up from
a project manager position
last week,
and one of my first tasks
is to hire and train someone
to fill my old position.
Well?
You, you mean me?
Yeah, we could totally
use someone like you, Jenny.
I mean, when I
think about the way
you juggled everything
back in high school?
Well, I mean,
that was high school,
this is, this is, this is huge.
Are you kidding me?
Softball, pep rallies,
homecoming, if I had
half as much drive
as Hurricane Jennifer,
I'd be CEO by now.
Hurricane Jennifer, wow,
I, I haven't thought
of that in years.
All right look, they're
shipping me off to Beijing
for three weeks
to try to save a deal,
but the second I get back,
I wanna bring you in.
I mean, if you want.
Yeah, sure,
that would be amazing.
Well, the interview'll
just basically be a formality.
Thanks.
Of course.
You're welcome, just call
the number on that card
and my assistant will put
the interview on the calendar
for the end of the month, okay?
Okay.
All right, I'll see you later.
All right.
Ah!
Hey Terry, what's that?
What?
Um.
Oh, shit.
Terry?
Hey.
Well it's nice
to meet you, Tina.
Will you please be quiet?
Hello?
Oh, come on!
There.
Oh!
I'm sorry, I, I just wanted...
Hi, it's Jennifer.
I'm sorry about before,
I just moved in.
You seem really sad.
Just do it, Jennifer.
Hey, hey cop,
that's my shotgun.
That klepto bitch
took it out of my car.
Ma'am, please try
and be still for me.
It's okay, okay there.
Follow my finger, ma'am.
Okay, you know, you're lucky,
this could've been a lot worse.
I didn't find any
glass in your eyes.
Excuse me, Miss McFarland?
Actually, it's Conrad,
I changed it, yeah.
So, did you know
Stella Bakanowski?
Stella?
That was her name?
I'll take that as a no.
Can you tell me anything
about your neighbor?
Did you ever see her drinking,
taking narcotics?
I've only been here for
a few days, but she cried a lot.
Literally, all the time.
Well, I always say
there's two kinds of women
in this world, the kind who
cry about their problems
and the kind who do
something about 'em.
Well, call us if you think
of anything you wanna add.
Thanks.
Seriously, guys?
Whoo, whoa, whoa.
Oh, it's, it's okay,
I live upstairs in 212.
Yeah, sorry,
once the police are done,
I'll be happy to escort
you up to your apartment
to get your essentials.
Essentials?
Yeah, I mean, we've gotta fumigate
the deceased's apartment.
We're deeming it an
immediate health hazard,
which means we've gotta get both
neighboring apartments vacated.
Isn't there someone you
could stay with tonight?
A friend, boyfriend?
Ready to order, darling?
I think I might just have
coffee, if that's okay?
It's kinda late.
What's the matter,
you had a fight
with your old man or somethin'?
Uh, something like that.
Well, I'll tell ya,
I think you might be surprised
at how quick a good
steak'll change
a man's attitude towards ya.
Yeah well, apparently,
I can't cook worth a damn,
so, there's that.
And that's why Jesus
invented the microwave.
That'll be $1.50.
You've omitted a contact
for them on your references,
why is that?
So, other than that,
the only contactable references
are for waitressing,
is that right?
You're a waitress?
Hey, Jennifer!
I can't hear you.
Hey Jennifer, it's me.
How's it goin'?
Well uh, you know,
it's kinda, you know.
Can I borrow this, Tina?
I'm sorry, Stella.
Ow!
Whoa.
I look gorgeous.
What do you think, Tina?
Yeah, I couldn't agree more.
Hey.
Here we go.
Hey Terry, I'm kind of in a...
Jesus, Jenny,
you look like cat shit.
What do you want, Boyd?
I wanna come in,
what do you think I want?
You poppin' up in
the system, that's a,
that's not a good
way to stay hid.
You still can't park a car on
your own, I see.
Well don't worry about it,
I'll take care of it, as usual.
I appreciate it.
You see...
I don't think that
you do, Jenny.
- Listen.
- No, you listen, okay?
'Cause I don't think
that you appreciate
the lengths that I have gone to,
and that I continue to go to
to make sure you don't
end up drunk and alone
like your goddamn crazy mother.
Stop it, please.
Now don't you...
Howdy, neighbor.
Is there a problem, officer?
No, no problem.
Just a routine check is all.
I brought you
some turtle chow.
Good thing that guy
left when he did.
Been workin' out,
and drinkin' my milk.
All right,
these are too small,
I'm gonna get some
new ones of these.
Oh, okay, oh God, new glasses
too, is what I really need.
That's the key.
That's the key.
All right, this is good here.
Got that, and let that,
no, why don't,
you over there, you here, done.
Come in.
It's open.
Hey.
Got any of that milk left?
Here you go,
this should be perfect.
Hmm.
I'm sorry for
being rude to you.
I really appreciate
what you did up there.
Oh, don't mention it.
So, um, anyway,
I made these cookies.
These are for me?
This is crazy, that's so
nice of you, this is really...
- Um...
- That's good, it was really good.
I'm sorry.
Oh no, no, no.
Cooking's not really my thing.
Boyd always used to say, thank
God for the f'in microwave.
Hey, speaking
of Boyd, I was curious,
what uh,
what's the story with him?
Hey, how are nosy neighbors
like chili peppers?
How?
They jalapeno your business!
I'm sorry to pry,
I was just curious though,
because it just seems like,
how would you...
He pulled me over
for speeding
on my 19th birthday, actually.
Um, and he said that
he would tear up the ticket
if I agreed to go out with him.
What?
Yep, but he was really
handsome in his uniform,
and charming.
And then, one day,
he just flipped, you know?
He just became a totally
different person.
When I was a kid,
my dad wasn't around much.
But when he was,
he was just mean.
And uh, my mother just,
uh, by the time she left,
all of her dreams
were, were gone.
What happened to her?
She drank herself to death,
before I even got
out of high school.
That's really awful.
The point is,
even though my dad
wasn't around
to hurt her anymore,
she carried on like,
like he was still there.
She just tore herself apart.
So, hey, that, um,
the turtle you gave me,
that was really sweet.
Thought you needed a friend.
Well, now I have two.
Well, most people think of
turtles as slow and vulnerable
but the thing about turtles,
they're stronger
than people ever
give 'em credit for.
They can weather a storm.
Why'd you name her Tina?
Oh, Ike and Tina Turtle,
remember them?
Ike and Tina Turtle, great
group, way back in the 60s.
That's really clever.
Tina ended up on top,
you know.
And Ike, nobody cares.
- To weathering the storm.
- To weathering the storm.
Hello, hey.
This better be good, honey,
I've got the QVC on.
I need you to call
an exterminator.
And just what in the heck for?
The city already fumigated
the bejesus out of this place.
I'll probably get
the freakin' cancer
from the damn chemicals
they squirted all over up there.
Yeah I know, I just think
that some of the bugs
or something from Stella's house
have made their way
into my place and...
Look, this ain't
none of my business,
but you may want
to stop donating cash
to old Fuzzy's rent fund.
I don't think there's a lot
of quality control going on
up there in Camp Woodstock.
I'm not on drugs, if that's
what you're implying, okay?
Like I said, it ain't
none of my business.
Look, all right, you see this?
I'm not making this shit up.
Now I know that you have
a legal responsibility
- to your tenants...
- All right, all right,
all right, don't get all
Better Business Bureau on me.
I'll get you a damn exterminator
tomorrow morning, how's that?
Why not tonight?
No, I, I need to sleep,
you don't understand. I...
It is midnight, honey.
Do you really think
that there's an emergency
9-1-1 for ladybug attacks?
I said I will call tomorrow,
I will call tomorrow!
Dude, I like your turtle.
It's not my turtle,
I'm just turtle sitting.
I'm sorry ma'am,
I'm not seeing any
insect activity.
Wait, what do you mean?
I mean you don't
have bugs, at all.
No, that's not right,
you need to check again.
Ma'am, I did
a 16 point inspection,
didn't find so much
as a dead spider.
I know someone you can call.
They helped me.
Get out.
Get out!
Oh, damn it.
Oh, shit!
Shit!
18th floor.
Tell Polycor I don't care
what their initiated
protocols are.
We have a strict
90 day turnaround
indemnification on this deal.
Okay, China does not want...
tell me you understand this!
Put Gil on the phone.
Sir,
your interview is here.
Yo.
Hi,
I'm Jennifer Conrad.
I'm, James Tran.
Actually, um...
I thought that I was
meeting with Brenda.
You'll be meeting
with the both of us actually.
Brenda's on a call
with one of our Chinese clients,
she'll be here shortly.
Oh, okay.
Are you okay, Miss Conrad?
I haven't been sleeping very
well, but I'm fine, thank you.
So, uh, how long have
you known Brenda exactly?
We went
to high school together.
And which high school...
China's a go,
hey, Jenny, sorry I'm late.
Hey, Brenda.
So, you're the friend
that Brenda
decided to put in
a personal recommendation for.
Yeah.
Well, looks like
we're all done here.
We appreciate you coming in.
- Look...
- Thank you.
Brenda, close the door.
Asshole!
I mean, could it be
some kind of rash then?
No, I mean I doubt it.
I mean, if it were a rash,
we'd see some concentration
in a specific area
before the spreading.
But these are everywhere.
There was
a pretty bad situation
with my next door
neighbor recently
and there's a pretty good chance
that she had bed bugs.
These are definitely
not from any bed bugs.
I mean, they're just too big.
And beyond that,
they seem very irritated.
I can tell you've been
scratching at them.
They only happen when
I'm asleep, so...
I mean, I keep waking up
and I have new ones.
Okay, you know what,
hold on a second, okay.
I'll take another look.
Thank you.
Let me see 'em again.
And, let me do it, okay, 'cause
I don't want you scratching.
Ouch.
It's okay.
Wow, do you know if your
neighbor had any animal vermin?
Like mice maybe?
I'm not, I, I don't know.
Why?
Well, it could be because
of all of your scratching,
but these wounds look
very ragged, I mean,
the impressions
around the very edges
kinda seem like they
were caused by...
What?
Teeth.
Jennifer...
Jennifer...
Jennifer...
Jennifer...
Jesus, Terry!
Jennifer?
What are you doing in here?
I need you to help me.
What are you talking about?
It came from inside of here,
the thing that ate Stella.
Now it's eating me.
She knew, she knew
that it would never stop,
that's why she shot herself.
I wanna help you, I really do.
But in order to do that,
we have to talk about
what's really going
on here, okay?
You knew, you knew
about the drawings in her wall
and you hid them.
I didn't hide
anything, Jennifer.
You covered
them up,
why didn't you just tell me?
I work in here, I can't...
I don't wanna look
at those things.
Look, Stella was very disturbed.
- No.
- She was.
No, Terry, you
listen to me, okay?
And, sometimes,
sometimes when people are
so used to being hurt...
What you,
you think I did this?
You, you think, you.
Look, okay, I know
how this looks and I,
I know that you must think
I'm crazy, but I'm not.
I know the answer's
in here somewhere, I just,
I just need,
I just need a minute, okay?
Just, just go, okay?
You think something in here
will help you?
I mean, there's not
much left, but, okay,
okay, you want to,
all right, that's fine.
Look around, do what
you're gonna do, okay?
But be quiet, all right.
If Claudette finds out
you've been in here,
I could lose my job, all right?
And no more climbin'
in and out of windows, got it?
Okay.
Now here's Stella's keys,
lock up after you go.
I'm gonna board
the window back up
so Claudette doesn't
know you've been here.
You be careful,
okay, okay?
Thanks, Terry.
All right.
Come on, Stella.
What happened to you, Stella?
Enough.
You gotta
be kiddin' me.
What,
think it's cute.
Well, take it down.
Folk'll think a couple
queers live here.
All right,
then I'll tell 'em
that you put it up.
Hey, what'd you
just say to me?
- Um.
- Hm?
Um, I like it, I'm sorry.
Do you mind
if we keep it, please?
Grab something.
Well, well,
look what we've got here.
Little miss independent,
cold busted sneaking away.
Jesus Jen, I thought you
was a burglar, I almost shot you
as dead
as fried chicken, girl.
Well, go on, go ahead.
What?
Ask if you can come back,
that's what
you're here for, ain't it?
That's not why I'm here.
Okay, well then,
why is it you're here, Jenny?
Uh...
I came for my sign.
You came....
Is that right?
You drove, middle of the night,
put on five pounds of makeup,
in that rattlin'
piece of shit car,
for this little hunk of junk?
Oh, really?
Oh you want this, is that right?
Well, this is mine
right now, Jenny.
It's not yours, nothin's
yours unless I give it to you.
Unless I give it to you.
You remember that.
You'll be back.
Except, next time, you're
gonna have to ask real nice,
you can count on it.
All dolled up
and just getting home,
now why am I not surprised?
Well, I am sure
your parole officer'll
be very interested
to hear about this.
Well, that got your attention,
didn't it?
I don't have a parole officer,
and I'm not on drugs, all right?
That policeman,
who's been filling your head
with all this bullshit,
he's my ex-husband
and he's doing everything he can
to get me to give up and go
back to being his punching bag.
And the best part of it is,
now he's got you helping him,
only you're too goddamn stupid
to figure it out for yourself.
But he gave me this pamphlet.
Why don't you roll it up
and stick it up
your ass, Claudette?
Goddamn hippies.
Jennifer, are you okay?
Jennifer?
I heard you and Claudette
arguing earlier.
Unfortunately, I think
the whole complex did.
Jennifer?
All right, let me know
if you need anything.
I'll come back later.
Goddammit!
There was this
beautiful jewelry box,
no one was around,
I just took it.
Why can't I stop taking things?
Woe are they
who shall not rest.
Woe to those in Jedak's nest.
Beware of sleep,
for when you wake
lost what flesh it came to take.
The thing that eats
and never dies,
you only catch it by the eyes.
'Til you're dead,
it will not cease.
Take my Jedak, give me peace.
You idiot.
Oh, God.
No, no, no!
You've gotta be kidding me.
You only catch it by the eyes.
I got you.
Jennifer,
Jennifer, Jennifer.
Jennifer, are you okay?
Come to the door.
Jennifer,
I know you're in there.
Now open this door,
I can hear you in there.
I don't know
what's happening in there
but I don't like it,
and if you don't talk to me
right now, I'm coming in.
Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer.
You okay?
Stay there,
I'm gonna get help, okay.
I'm gonna get some...
Terry.
What, Jennifer, what is it?
Jennifer, you have
to get some help.
This is, this is crazy, okay?
And it's my fault,
and I'm sorry.
But we have to get you
some help right now, okay?
Okay, I'm gonna go get an
ambulance right now, Jennifer.
I have to do something
proactive, okay?
Stay there!
No, don't get up!
Great.
Come on.
Oh, oh!
You like to hurt people,
don't you?
Well, let's see how you like it.
Thank God
for the fucking microwave.
I don't know what you are,
or where the hell you came from,
but you better listen up.
Now you can hurt me,
you can take my sleep,
you can take my sanity,
you can even kill me.
But you are never, ever,
ever gonna break me!
So, you and I need to come
to some kind of an agreement,
or we can just keep going,
it's your choice.
Terry, what are you doing?
I'm just helping.
You're supposed to be resting.
Are you sure you wanna
go through with this?
It's for the best.
I don't mind stayin'
and helpin' out if you need it.
You've already done
more than enough, I'm fine.
All right.
Oh, oh, oh.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
Chicks dig the scars.
Get outta here.
So...
Happened to your face?
Thanks for coming.
Well, go on, ask.
I wanna come home,
if you don't mind.
Yeah, well,
after all this bullshit,
there's gonna be some fuckin'
rules, that's for sure.
Yeah, I know.
Tell you what, you're crazy
if you think I'm movin'
all this shit back.
No, I mean, that's my fault,
so I'll finish and...
I'll finish packing tomorrow
and then I'll talk to Claudette
about letting me
out of my lease.
I should be finished
by the end of the week, I think.
Well, all right.
I will
see you at home.
Hey, baby?
Would you mind taking
some of my clothes
back with you?
I thought that maybe
I could stay over a few nights
until I'm done packing and
things, would that be okay?
Now, that's what
I like to hear.
Thanks.
Jenny!
Not off to a very
good start, Jenny.
Don't smell any damn bacon.
Oh,
hope I brought some.
What the hell?