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Apartment 212 (2017)
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Hello? Hello, is anyone here? Oh my goodness, aren't you the cutest little thing? What? Wow, retro. Ha! Hi. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no, my fault. Note to self, don't sneak up on the new girl. Terry Lumley, I uh live downstairs by the laundry room. Resident handyman and all-around helpful guy. Jennifer. Nice to meet you, oh, thank you. Wow, so you just moved in? Uh, yeah. Yeah, looks like, I can't believe you moved all this stuff yourself, that's a lot of crap. If I would've known, I could've helped you out with some of that. Actually... You got it? - Yeah I got it. - Okay. One step at a time, you got it. Okay, here we go, you just have to lift with the legs, lift with the legs, there you go. Hey. Mm. What's that guy's deal? Who, Fuzzy? Yeah. We're not 100% sure about Fuzzy. Yeah? He doesn't seem to have a real job, but I have my suspicious about how he pays the rent. Really? I think he grows pot. Oh, okay, that would make sense. You like pot? You ever smoke it? No, it's not really my thing. I, I tried it once when I was like 15 and I, I think I slept for like four days. Yeah. What's the deal with the couple? The second apartment from here. Oh yeah, Pete and Sherry. I don't know, how can I put this, they're um, they're trailer folk. Hey, that's a... that's quite a bruise. How'd you manage to get that? Fell out of a trailer. I want you to meet somebody, come on. I think the bricks give it a lot of charm, and these lighting fixtures are all original. What kind of trees are those? I know nothing about trees. But I'll tell you something, just be prepared, her bark is a little worse than her bite. What now? Claudette, this is our new tenant. Oh yeah, McFarland, 212? Actually, it's Conrad now. Conrad, right. So, the apartment, it looks a little bit different than it did on the website. Hey. What the hell did I tell you about that? God damn hippies. Yeah. So, you need something from me, or what? No, I just wanted to say hello. Oh, well then, hello. Thanks, Claudette. Wow. Yeah. Well, I don't know how you plan to top that one, Terry. Well, don't be so sure, the night is still young. We haven't seen the laundry area or the mailboxes. Well, I stand corrected then. Oh, and the spa. You guys have a spa? No, be awesome though, wouldn't it? Oh, the dumpsters are really good, let me show you these over here. Jenny, listen here, we both know you are gonna come crawlin' back sooner or later, you ain't never done anything in your life except maybe wait tables. Christ sakes, you don't even cook worth a damn. Thank God for the fuckin' microwave. Hello? Hello? Are you kidding me? Oh! Shit. Damn it. So, I see here that the only work you have listed other than food service is for the Weld County Highway Patrol office? Yes, I worked there on and off over the years doing secretarial work. You have a phone number where I could reach them? 911? Very amusing, Miss Conrad, but you've omitted a contact for them on your references, why is that? Complicated. So, other than that, the only contactable references are for waitressing, is that right? You're a waitress? Wait, wait, wait, wait, what are you doing? I put money in the meter. You're parked in two spaces. Jenny? Let's talk about it later. Brenda? Wowee, what has it been, like, 10 years now? What are you doing here? I work here, we're up on the 18th floor. What about you? I just had a job interview on the third floor. Are you kidding? No, why? Oh, wow. They moved me up from a project manager position last week, and one of my first tasks is to hire and train someone to fill my old position. Well? You, you mean me? Yeah, we could totally use someone like you, Jenny. I mean, when I think about the way you juggled everything back in high school? Well, I mean, that was high school, this is, this is, this is huge. Are you kidding me? Softball, pep rallies, homecoming, if I had half as much drive as Hurricane Jennifer, I'd be CEO by now. Hurricane Jennifer, wow, I, I haven't thought of that in years. All right look, they're shipping me off to Beijing for three weeks to try to save a deal, but the second I get back, I wanna bring you in. I mean, if you want. Yeah, sure, that would be amazing. Well, the interview'll just basically be a formality. Thanks. Of course. You're welcome, just call the number on that card and my assistant will put the interview on the calendar for the end of the month, okay? Okay. All right, I'll see you later. All right. Ah! Hey Terry, what's that? What? Um. Oh, shit. Terry? Hey. Well it's nice to meet you, Tina. Will you please be quiet? Hello? Oh, come on! There. Oh! I'm sorry, I, I just wanted... Hi, it's Jennifer. I'm sorry about before, I just moved in. You seem really sad. Just do it, Jennifer. Hey, hey cop, that's my shotgun. That klepto bitch took it out of my car. Ma'am, please try and be still for me. It's okay, okay there. Follow my finger, ma'am. Okay, you know, you're lucky, this could've been a lot worse. I didn't find any glass in your eyes. Excuse me, Miss McFarland? Actually, it's Conrad, I changed it, yeah. So, did you know Stella Bakanowski? Stella? That was her name? I'll take that as a no. Can you tell me anything about your neighbor? Did you ever see her drinking, taking narcotics? I've only been here for a few days, but she cried a lot. Literally, all the time. Well, I always say there's two kinds of women in this world, the kind who cry about their problems and the kind who do something about 'em. Well, call us if you think of anything you wanna add. Thanks. Seriously, guys? Whoo, whoa, whoa. Oh, it's, it's okay, I live upstairs in 212. Yeah, sorry, once the police are done, I'll be happy to escort you up to your apartment to get your essentials. Essentials? Yeah, I mean, we've gotta fumigate the deceased's apartment. We're deeming it an immediate health hazard, which means we've gotta get both neighboring apartments vacated. Isn't there someone you could stay with tonight? A friend, boyfriend? Ready to order, darling? I think I might just have coffee, if that's okay? It's kinda late. What's the matter, you had a fight with your old man or somethin'? Uh, something like that. Well, I'll tell ya, I think you might be surprised at how quick a good steak'll change a man's attitude towards ya. Yeah well, apparently, I can't cook worth a damn, so, there's that. And that's why Jesus invented the microwave. That'll be $1.50. You've omitted a contact for them on your references, why is that? So, other than that, the only contactable references are for waitressing, is that right? You're a waitress? Hey, Jennifer! I can't hear you. Hey Jennifer, it's me. How's it goin'? Well uh, you know, it's kinda, you know. Can I borrow this, Tina? I'm sorry, Stella. Ow! Whoa. I look gorgeous. What do you think, Tina? Yeah, I couldn't agree more. Hey. Here we go. Hey Terry, I'm kind of in a... Jesus, Jenny, you look like cat shit. What do you want, Boyd? I wanna come in, what do you think I want? You poppin' up in the system, that's a, that's not a good way to stay hid. You still can't park a car on your own, I see. Well don't worry about it, I'll take care of it, as usual. I appreciate it. You see... I don't think that you do, Jenny. - Listen. - No, you listen, okay? 'Cause I don't think that you appreciate the lengths that I have gone to, and that I continue to go to to make sure you don't end up drunk and alone like your goddamn crazy mother. Stop it, please. Now don't you... Howdy, neighbor. Is there a problem, officer? No, no problem. Just a routine check is all. I brought you some turtle chow. Good thing that guy left when he did. Been workin' out, and drinkin' my milk. All right, these are too small, I'm gonna get some new ones of these. Oh, okay, oh God, new glasses too, is what I really need. That's the key. That's the key. All right, this is good here. Got that, and let that, no, why don't, you over there, you here, done. Come in. It's open. Hey. Got any of that milk left? Here you go, this should be perfect. Hmm. I'm sorry for being rude to you. I really appreciate what you did up there. Oh, don't mention it. So, um, anyway, I made these cookies. These are for me? This is crazy, that's so nice of you, this is really... - Um... - That's good, it was really good. I'm sorry. Oh no, no, no. Cooking's not really my thing. Boyd always used to say, thank God for the f'in microwave. Hey, speaking of Boyd, I was curious, what uh, what's the story with him? Hey, how are nosy neighbors like chili peppers? How? They jalapeno your business! I'm sorry to pry, I was just curious though, because it just seems like, how would you... He pulled me over for speeding on my 19th birthday, actually. Um, and he said that he would tear up the ticket if I agreed to go out with him. What? Yep, but he was really handsome in his uniform, and charming. And then, one day, he just flipped, you know? He just became a totally different person. When I was a kid, my dad wasn't around much. But when he was, he was just mean. And uh, my mother just, uh, by the time she left, all of her dreams were, were gone. What happened to her? She drank herself to death, before I even got out of high school. That's really awful. The point is, even though my dad wasn't around to hurt her anymore, she carried on like, like he was still there. She just tore herself apart. So, hey, that, um, the turtle you gave me, that was really sweet. Thought you needed a friend. Well, now I have two. Well, most people think of turtles as slow and vulnerable but the thing about turtles, they're stronger than people ever give 'em credit for. They can weather a storm. Why'd you name her Tina? Oh, Ike and Tina Turtle, remember them? Ike and Tina Turtle, great group, way back in the 60s. That's really clever. Tina ended up on top, you know. And Ike, nobody cares. - To weathering the storm. - To weathering the storm. Hello, hey. This better be good, honey, I've got the QVC on. I need you to call an exterminator. And just what in the heck for? The city already fumigated the bejesus out of this place. I'll probably get the freakin' cancer from the damn chemicals they squirted all over up there. Yeah I know, I just think that some of the bugs or something from Stella's house have made their way into my place and... Look, this ain't none of my business, but you may want to stop donating cash to old Fuzzy's rent fund. I don't think there's a lot of quality control going on up there in Camp Woodstock. I'm not on drugs, if that's what you're implying, okay? Like I said, it ain't none of my business. Look, all right, you see this? I'm not making this shit up. Now I know that you have a legal responsibility - to your tenants... - All right, all right, all right, don't get all Better Business Bureau on me. I'll get you a damn exterminator tomorrow morning, how's that? Why not tonight? No, I, I need to sleep, you don't understand. I... It is midnight, honey. Do you really think that there's an emergency 9-1-1 for ladybug attacks? I said I will call tomorrow, I will call tomorrow! Dude, I like your turtle. It's not my turtle, I'm just turtle sitting. I'm sorry ma'am, I'm not seeing any insect activity. Wait, what do you mean? I mean you don't have bugs, at all. No, that's not right, you need to check again. Ma'am, I did a 16 point inspection, didn't find so much as a dead spider. I know someone you can call. They helped me. Get out. Get out! Oh, damn it. Oh, shit! Shit! 18th floor. Tell Polycor I don't care what their initiated protocols are. We have a strict 90 day turnaround indemnification on this deal. Okay, China does not want... tell me you understand this! Put Gil on the phone. Sir, your interview is here. Yo. Hi, I'm Jennifer Conrad. I'm, James Tran. Actually, um... I thought that I was meeting with Brenda. You'll be meeting with the both of us actually. Brenda's on a call with one of our Chinese clients, she'll be here shortly. Oh, okay. Are you okay, Miss Conrad? I haven't been sleeping very well, but I'm fine, thank you. So, uh, how long have you known Brenda exactly? We went to high school together. And which high school... China's a go, hey, Jenny, sorry I'm late. Hey, Brenda. So, you're the friend that Brenda decided to put in a personal recommendation for. Yeah. Well, looks like we're all done here. We appreciate you coming in. - Look... - Thank you. Brenda, close the door. Asshole! I mean, could it be some kind of rash then? No, I mean I doubt it. I mean, if it were a rash, we'd see some concentration in a specific area before the spreading. But these are everywhere. There was a pretty bad situation with my next door neighbor recently and there's a pretty good chance that she had bed bugs. These are definitely not from any bed bugs. I mean, they're just too big. And beyond that, they seem very irritated. I can tell you've been scratching at them. They only happen when I'm asleep, so... I mean, I keep waking up and I have new ones. Okay, you know what, hold on a second, okay. I'll take another look. Thank you. Let me see 'em again. And, let me do it, okay, 'cause I don't want you scratching. Ouch. It's okay. Wow, do you know if your neighbor had any animal vermin? Like mice maybe? I'm not, I, I don't know. Why? Well, it could be because of all of your scratching, but these wounds look very ragged, I mean, the impressions around the very edges kinda seem like they were caused by... What? Teeth. Jennifer... Jennifer... Jennifer... Jennifer... Jesus, Terry! Jennifer? What are you doing in here? I need you to help me. What are you talking about? It came from inside of here, the thing that ate Stella. Now it's eating me. She knew, she knew that it would never stop, that's why she shot herself. I wanna help you, I really do. But in order to do that, we have to talk about what's really going on here, okay? You knew, you knew about the drawings in her wall and you hid them. I didn't hide anything, Jennifer. You covered them up, why didn't you just tell me? I work in here, I can't... I don't wanna look at those things. Look, Stella was very disturbed. - No. - She was. No, Terry, you listen to me, okay? And, sometimes, sometimes when people are so used to being hurt... What you, you think I did this? You, you think, you. Look, okay, I know how this looks and I, I know that you must think I'm crazy, but I'm not. I know the answer's in here somewhere, I just, I just need, I just need a minute, okay? Just, just go, okay? You think something in here will help you? I mean, there's not much left, but, okay, okay, you want to, all right, that's fine. Look around, do what you're gonna do, okay? But be quiet, all right. If Claudette finds out you've been in here, I could lose my job, all right? And no more climbin' in and out of windows, got it? Okay. Now here's Stella's keys, lock up after you go. I'm gonna board the window back up so Claudette doesn't know you've been here. You be careful, okay, okay? Thanks, Terry. All right. Come on, Stella. What happened to you, Stella? Enough. You gotta be kiddin' me. What, think it's cute. Well, take it down. Folk'll think a couple queers live here. All right, then I'll tell 'em that you put it up. Hey, what'd you just say to me? - Um. - Hm? Um, I like it, I'm sorry. Do you mind if we keep it, please? Grab something. Well, well, look what we've got here. Little miss independent, cold busted sneaking away. Jesus Jen, I thought you was a burglar, I almost shot you as dead as fried chicken, girl. Well, go on, go ahead. What? Ask if you can come back, that's what you're here for, ain't it? That's not why I'm here. Okay, well then, why is it you're here, Jenny? Uh... I came for my sign. You came.... Is that right? You drove, middle of the night, put on five pounds of makeup, in that rattlin' piece of shit car, for this little hunk of junk? Oh, really? Oh you want this, is that right? Well, this is mine right now, Jenny. It's not yours, nothin's yours unless I give it to you. Unless I give it to you. You remember that. You'll be back. Except, next time, you're gonna have to ask real nice, you can count on it. All dolled up and just getting home, now why am I not surprised? Well, I am sure your parole officer'll be very interested to hear about this. Well, that got your attention, didn't it? I don't have a parole officer, and I'm not on drugs, all right? That policeman, who's been filling your head with all this bullshit, he's my ex-husband and he's doing everything he can to get me to give up and go back to being his punching bag. And the best part of it is, now he's got you helping him, only you're too goddamn stupid to figure it out for yourself. But he gave me this pamphlet. Why don't you roll it up and stick it up your ass, Claudette? Goddamn hippies. Jennifer, are you okay? Jennifer? I heard you and Claudette arguing earlier. Unfortunately, I think the whole complex did. Jennifer? All right, let me know if you need anything. I'll come back later. Goddammit! There was this beautiful jewelry box, no one was around, I just took it. Why can't I stop taking things? Woe are they who shall not rest. Woe to those in Jedak's nest. Beware of sleep, for when you wake lost what flesh it came to take. The thing that eats and never dies, you only catch it by the eyes. 'Til you're dead, it will not cease. Take my Jedak, give me peace. You idiot. Oh, God. No, no, no! You've gotta be kidding me. You only catch it by the eyes. I got you. Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. Jennifer, are you okay? Come to the door. Jennifer, I know you're in there. Now open this door, I can hear you in there. I don't know what's happening in there but I don't like it, and if you don't talk to me right now, I'm coming in. Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. You okay? Stay there, I'm gonna get help, okay. I'm gonna get some... Terry. What, Jennifer, what is it? Jennifer, you have to get some help. This is, this is crazy, okay? And it's my fault, and I'm sorry. But we have to get you some help right now, okay? Okay, I'm gonna go get an ambulance right now, Jennifer. I have to do something proactive, okay? Stay there! No, don't get up! Great. Come on. Oh, oh! You like to hurt people, don't you? Well, let's see how you like it. Thank God for the fucking microwave. I don't know what you are, or where the hell you came from, but you better listen up. Now you can hurt me, you can take my sleep, you can take my sanity, you can even kill me. But you are never, ever, ever gonna break me! So, you and I need to come to some kind of an agreement, or we can just keep going, it's your choice. Terry, what are you doing? I'm just helping. You're supposed to be resting. Are you sure you wanna go through with this? It's for the best. I don't mind stayin' and helpin' out if you need it. You've already done more than enough, I'm fine. All right. Oh, oh, oh. - Oh, I'm sorry. - That's okay. Chicks dig the scars. Get outta here. So... Happened to your face? Thanks for coming. Well, go on, ask. I wanna come home, if you don't mind. Yeah, well, after all this bullshit, there's gonna be some fuckin' rules, that's for sure. Yeah, I know. Tell you what, you're crazy if you think I'm movin' all this shit back. No, I mean, that's my fault, so I'll finish and... I'll finish packing tomorrow and then I'll talk to Claudette about letting me out of my lease. I should be finished by the end of the week, I think. Well, all right. I will see you at home. Hey, baby? Would you mind taking some of my clothes back with you? I thought that maybe I could stay over a few nights until I'm done packing and things, would that be okay? Now, that's what I like to hear. Thanks. Jenny! Not off to a very good start, Jenny. Don't smell any damn bacon. Oh, hope I brought some. What the hell? |
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