uCAUTION BY BANQUO:/u
This film and subtitle are rated R (Restricted)
for language and sexuality.
Correction & Arrangement:
BANQUO
A howling wind is whistling
in the night...
My dog is growling in the dark...
Something's pulling me outside...
To ride around in circles...
I know you have
got the time...
Coz anything I want, you do...
You'll take a ride
through the strangers...
Who don't understand
how to feel...
In the deathcar,
we're alive...
In the deathcar...
We're alive...
I'll let some air come
in the window...
Kind of wakes me up a little...
I don't turn on the radio...
- Coz they play shit, like...
- The Bosnians...
You know...
When your hand was
down on my dick...
- It felt quite amazing...
- "Good morning, Columbus."
These were my mother's eternal words, reminding
me America was already discovered...
...and that day-dreaming
was a long way from life's truths.
But what's the point of reading of somebody
telling me the difference between an apple and a bicycle?
If I bite a bicycle and ride an apple,
I'll know the difference.
But thinking about what to do made me
more tired than actually doing.
I remember my father once said that
if you ever wanted to look at someone's soul...
...you have to ask to look at their dreams.
And then you'd have mercy for those
who swim in bigger shit than your own.
My name is Axel Blackmar, and I work
for the Department of Fish and Game.
Most people think I count fish,
but I don't.
I look at 'em.
I look at their souls, their dreams
and then I let them into my dreams.
People think the fish are stupid, but I was always sure
that they weren't. Because they know when to be quiet.
And it's people that are stupid. A fish that
know everything don't need to think.
See, fish start out in small streams,
and then I prepare them for the ocean.
When they're ready to die,
they return to where they came from.
That's my connection,
that's why I swam away to the city.
Okay, here's my job:..
All I do
is temporarily electrocute the fish...
...then with deep respect, I scoop 'em
and haul 'em in, one by one.
Sometimes I'll look straight into a pair of
fish eyes and I'll see my whole life.
It's something only fish can show us,
and I love 'em for it.
Anyway, I got all the fish, tag and measure 'em
and weigh 'em, just to make sure they're doing okay.
And if they want to talk, I'm always ready
to listen. That's the job of a Fish God.
You know what?
I've never caught a fish in a lie...
...and I've never seen a fish
swim in the shit that human people do.
That's why I love my work,
and I love New York.
Not because my mother said it was one of the eight
points in the world that have real magnetic pull...
...but because you can see everybody,
and nobody can see you.
Hey, honey! How are you?
How was Istanbul?
I'm looking... yes, I'm looking for my girlfriend,
Suzanne Supak. I just spoke with her. Over.
I love you too, honey.
I... I... I'm sure... I... I...
I miss you... I miss you, too, honey. Over.
Two more, please!
Pregnant? Wow! Over.
Listen, honey...
Alright, let's go.
- I'm not going.
- Come on! Alright? We're running late!
I said I'm not going.
- You said you're not going?
- I said I'm not going.
You're not going?
- I'm not going.
- You're not going?
Are you gonna go?
Are you gonna go?
Are you gonna go or no?
- Are you gonna shoot me? Going to kill me?
- Am I gonna shoot...
Th... These things. I don't even...
It's a blank. It's a blank.
But I had you scared, right?
Are you scared?
Let me feel.
You shit your pants.
"Will you take care of me..?
Take care of me..." I'm fuckin' sick of it!
- What?
- What?
He's your uncle, for Chrissakes.
Paul, if he wants to see me, why isn't he here?
Why did he send you? Why didn't he come?
You know it wasn't his fault, right?
I don't blame him for anything, Paul.
I didn't... I never said that it was his fault.
Well, he's getting married,
and he'd invite you as his best man.
- You be his best man.
- Why are you like that? You're killing him! Why?
Alright, Axel! Axel! Axel, listen.
- End of story! Over!
- Axel!
Axel!
I love you too!
I'm gonna go back and I'm gonna
tell him that I couldn't find you.
- Really?
- Really. I have no choice.
- Promise?
- I promise. What about a hug? No hug for me?
Axel! Axel, you smell like a scumbag!
What's... What's going on?
But I'm a happy scumbag.
I got a nice truck and a great job.
- But you smell.
- What're you gonna have?
- Let's have two beers. Two beers.
- Two beers. OK.
- And a ginger ale.
- Two beers and...
- Forget the ginger ale. Bring two beers and two shots.
- Blanche?
- Bring two... two shots and two beers.
- Who's the boss?
- I am the boss.
- He is the boss. He is the boss.
- Two beers and two shots.
- A ginger ale, please.
Two beers, two shots.
- And a ginger ale.
- Don't confuse her. Don't confuse her.
Please, can I have a ginger ale?
Anyway, Axel, I love you, but...
- What? I love you too, but...
- Okay, well, you know... ginger ale.
- That's right. Two beers and two shots.
- Ginger ale.
Two beers and two shots.
- "Two beers and two shots." What's that?
- What?
That thing...
- What thing?
- I dunno. Like a funny accent or something?
- What funny accent thing?
- "Two beers and two shots."
What is that?
I dunno... like New York?
Funny New York accent, huh?
Yeah? Is De Niro funny? Is Pacino funny?
Is Rocky funny? Was Rocky funny?
- The great actors are all from New York.
- Sinatra?
Sinatra's from Hoboken, New Jersey.
Now let's toast.
- Alright? It's been three years, OK?
- Three years.
To three years. Three years.
- Three years.
- Three years.
- Blanche.
- Blanche.
Ginger ale.
- Ginger ale...
- Ginger ale...
...two shots.
Three years. We don't see each other
three years and you want ginger ale.
- Thank you, Blanche. Thank you, Blanche.
- Thank you for the ginger ale.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome, boys.
Gimme a hug.
I'll plug my nose.
Ok! Ok, back to the dream.
The man gives the stomach balloon
to the little boy.
Pushes him out of the igloo.
While the kid is outside,
the two inside the igloo start, y'know...
Yelling... Stop yelling, we're on Broadway.
Show respect to the... to the artists here.
Therefore, I know you're all
dying for a piece of wedding cake...
So I will make this short and sweet.
Millie...
...dear friends...
...waiters and waitresses, I'd like to
propose this wedding toast...
- Leo?
- Not now, Millie.
Come on!
- Hey!
- Don't fuck around!
Hey! Don't fuck around!
Cut it out!
Cut it out! Cut it out!
Don't be a jerk! Cut it out!
Cut it out!
I got an audition coming up! You're lucky
I don't come down, I'd kick your ass...
Cut it out!
Axel! Cut it out!
- Axel! You want me to come down?
- Ok! Come on down!
Come on...
- Stop shaking the ladder!
- Axel!
- Do you want me to come down?
- Leo!
- My boy!
- Cut it out! Axel!
I can't believe this!
- Leo! Leo!
- Axel! Axel!
You got big on me!
- I guess you heard about the wedding?
- I did. Oh, congratulations, Leo.
Thank you! I'd be especially proud
if you'd be my best man.
I wish I could, I've... I've gotta
get back to New York tonight.
Sure... Larry, we have to make Axel
an appointment tomorrow for a fitting.
Honestly, Leo, I've got to go.
- Yeah, I know! It's so good to see you, Axel.
- You, too.
You look terrific.
I... I... I just wanna show you something.
I... I wanna share this with you.
What do you think about my Saguro?
- The cactus?
- Nice, huh?
Let me let you in on a secret:..
You see, when a cactus is that young,
it is exceptionally vulnerable.
That's why I planted that Mesquite tree
right next to it, for protection.
You see, if you don't see an older tree
nearby a new cactus, you can forget it.
It ain't gonna make it.
Enough for that. Come on inside.
Somebody's dyin' in to meet you.
Millie! Millie, I'd like you to meet
my nephew Axel.
Axel, this is Millie.
Millie, Axel.
Axel, Millie.
How do you do?
- Aren't you overdoing it just a little, Millie?
- Oh, sorry.
Come on, sit down here,
next to me, Axel.
Well, let... lemme get
a pair of pants on first...
- Stop singing!
- I'm not singing. Well, I never... I count!
Oh, you've got to count
the stitches in the jacket?
- You've been on it for a week already. Get it finished!
- Goodbye, anybody!
Bye bye anybody...
Excuse me for interrupting
you two, but I had to get my pants on.
Yeah!
Well, Leo's told me so much about you.
Yeah!
So, I'm... I guess you know
I'm gonna be your new aunt.
You're his... fiance.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well...
...you don't have to call me Aunt Millie,
though. I mean, unless you want to.
Yeah.
- How old are you?
- Twenty three.
Oh!
We're almost the same age...
Isn't that funny?
Millie, please.
Remember we talked about this?
I'm sorry, Leo. Just a second.
Leo's trying to teach me
how to stop crying.
Sweetheart, why don't you go in the other room
and try on the other wedding dress for Axel?
Let him see that.
And then...
I mean that'll get your mind off.
Go in the other room, sweetheart,
and try the other dress on...
...it'll take your mind off crying.
It's in the other room!
- I'm going.
- Do me the favor.
Axel, Axel, Axel!
Leo, Leo, Leo!
You know, Axel, that's my little Polish
cupcake and she's very sensitive...
...like the Eastern European people are.
- But she's very nice, right?
- Very nice, Leo.
- And you know how old she is?
- Yeah. She's young.
You're damn right
and that's success.
And in order to achieve that success,
you need to sell cars.
I don't wanna sell cars.
Axel, do you revise my father had the first
Cadillac dealership in Arizona in 1914!
And he had this magnificent dream,
to sell as many cars as he possibly could...
...and stack them one on top of the other until
they got high enough so that he could walk up to the moon.
Isn't it beautiful?
It's very beautiful, Leo, but the cars would
topple over before you could stack 'em that high.
Yeah, that's what I told him,
but he wanted me in the business...
...and I resisted him,
like you're resisting me.
I'm not resisting, Leo.
I just... I don't wanna sell cars.
- What the hell are you afraid of?
- I'm not afraid of anything.
One thing I was sure of...
...my uncle Leo was definitely
the hero of my childhood.
The smell of his "Old Spice" cologne carried me back
into that lost childhood more than the home movies did.
My uncle didn't know it...
...but it was the sweet, cheap smell
of car dealers that took me back...
...and made me dissolve
into a dream of the past.
Leo was the last dinosaur
that smelled of cheap cologne.
And he believed in
the American dream.
I was crazy about him,
because he believed in miracles.
And even though he lived inside
of life and sold Cadillacs...
...he always looked like a 10-year-old
boy whose sleeves were too long.
When I was 10,
Leo gave me this great movie camera.
My mother always hoped
I'd become the next Milton Berle.
But dreams about houses and cars and fresh-cut
lawns aren't dreams when they become real.
And so now, I understood what my mother
meant by "Good morning, Columbus."
And even if my mother didn't like
what I was doing with my life...
...I think she'd understand me.
When I was 11, I got this really weird
earache that wouldn't go away.
I went to about a hundred doctors,
but none of them could help me.
So what Leo did was,
he went into Mexico...
...and brought back this fat lady witch doctor who
did some mumbo jumbo and fixed me right up.
I was grateful, but somehow I thought
I might've been better off mute.
All in all,
I had a very happy childhood.
My father was a border guard, he spent most of
his life trying to keep people from crossing lines.
Every night for 15 years, he'd go out and smooth
down the road between Mexico and Arizona...
...and every morning he'd be out there
looking for footprints in the dirt.
But my father always said that work
was like a hat you put on your head.
And even if you didn't have pants, you didn't have
to walk down the street ashamed of your ass.
'Cause you had a hat.
One of the other things
I was sure about my life was:..
...The moment my parents died,
my childhood was gone forever.
Leo could never shake the guilt
of my parents' death 6 years ago.
Leo was driving the car that night.
It got so bad that he even felt guilty
if he used too much shaving cream.
Four days after the funeral,
I caught a train to New York City.
And if somebody was to ask me why I don't get up
right now and catch the next train back to New York...
...it's because you can't say no
to your childhood hero.
I decided to be his best man,
one thing I was sure of:..
No matter how much I loved
the smell of cheap cologne...
...I was never gonna become my uncle,
I was never gonna sell Cadillacs.
Axel...
...if I died tomorrow,
where would you be?
You're not gonna die tomorrow, Leo.
Who knows when I'll die?
Your mother and father didn't know
when they were gonna die.
That was an accident.
No, it was stupidity. I shouldn't
have been behind that wheel.
Please, no guilt. Please.
Please.
Look...
...I'm not going to allow you to become
a bum on the streets of New York.
I want you to stay here with me.
Please. Try it for one week.
If you don't like it,
then you go home.
Okay?
Okay.
- Axel, make "busy". Very, very busy.
- Hello.
Busy, but "willing to take time out
from your schedule", Axel.
Hello.
Axel, make "sexy."
Hello.
Try it with your lips,
pucker them up... "Hello".
Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- No, more with the lips, you know, "Hello."
- Axel!
I'm a gorgeous woman,
and I have big, beautiful breasts.
Now do "sexy."
Hello.
- No, Axel. Breasts. Breasts.
- Hello.
You're talking art,
you're talking gravity. Huh?
Look! I'm...
- You see this?
- Yeah.
- Banana.
- Proteins, proteins...
Your organs produce a certain
amount of proteins, right?
Well, when you see a beautiful woman,
you produce extra proteins.
These extra proteins
go directly to your brain.
- Where do you get all this stuff?
- It's a scienti... scientific fact.
Anyway, I've figured out a way
how to make it work for me.
I call it "The Gaze."
You look into a woman's eyes,
and you think...
...exactly what you want her
to do for you.
You're an actor?
Oh my God, he's an actor!
In 12 days, I have a gigantic
performance I'm doing in Tucson.
Maybe the three of you
would like to come and see me?
Wow! Yeah!
- It's an audition.
- She'll like that!
What have we seen you in?
Like what kind of movies, TV shows?
- Do you go to foreign films?
- No.
Well, I'm a major star in Europe.
Foreign films?
Yeah, foreign films.
Come here, close to me.
Feel better now?
You feel better now?
You like that?
No, don't touch my face, okay?
- Oh, come on!
- No, no, come on now, I'm not kidding.
We can make love,
but do not touch my face or my hair.
- Are all actors like that?
- All the great actors are like that.
- Do you think anybody touches Brando's face?
- No!
- Do you think they touch Pacino's face?
- No!
Do you think they touch De Niro's face?
Or can anybody fucking touch this Johnny Depp's face?
Then no one's gonna touch
Paul Leger's face, okay?
I'm missing my favorite scene here...
I'm telling you, if I hear anything,
I swear I'm gonna kill somebody...
Go ahead and kill everybody!
You're the tough guy, go kill the people!
Kill Vicky, kill Salvy...
...go kill Tommy Como,
and kill me while you're at it!
You're killing yourself, the way you eat,
you fat fuck! Look at you!
What do you mean? I don't see!
What do you mean "kill you"?
Me, kill me!
- Start here! Kill me first! Do me a fuckin' favor!
- You meant something.
You mentioned Tommy, mentioned Salvy,
mentioned you, included you with them.
You could have said anybody,
but you said you and them.
You would have let this girl ruin your life,
wouldn't you?
She really did some job on you!
You know fucking that you are.
- Look what she did to you!
- You fucked my wife.
- What?
- You fucked my wife?
I'm not going to answer.
It's a sick question.
I'm gonna leave.
Very nice!
You won't have troubles upstairs in your bedroom,
if you don't pick it out on me or anybody else!
Pig, pig, pig! Here!
Hello!
Hello!
So pig, pig, pig, pig, pig!
Pig, pig, here!
Hello. Hello there.
Adrian Del Monica.
How are you doing?
- I'm not seein' it.
- It's right in front of you!
Yeah, but the... the vibe...
Ow! It's all wrong.
Mine is a 1966, and it's old!
My car is old and I need one!
I'm not giving you more than
You hear me?
Are you listening to me?
Yep, Mother... You know,
don't even think about this, Mother!
I can look if I want to.
Don't you know... Put the window down!
Get out! You cannot pay for this. Get out!
- Yes, I can!
- No, you can't, Mother!
- Yes, I can!
- Mother! You hear me!
We made a deal this morning 500 dollars.
That's all I'm gonna give you.
I don't know, well, you know...
- Well, how are you going to pay for this?
- I'm gonna pay with your money.
- With your money...
- With my money?
- Which is half mine. Half mine.
- You know what, Mother? Mother...
- Fuck you, Mother!
- Hello, I'm Axel Blackmar.
Fuck you, too!
What a beautiful dress that is.
Oh, please don't bullshit, because I didn't come
here to get cheap compliments from a salesman.
I wasn't complimenting you. I'm sorry. Listen.
If I've offended you anyway, please forgive me.
I'm sorry.
- Ok, you break, you pay!
- No.
- Break, you pay.
- No.
Something wrong with it?
- Yeah, it's funny.
- Thank you so much. That's very nice.
Okay, right.
The undercoating looks pretty good.
I dont know, but...
the suspension is funny. Look.
- Really?
- Yeah, look, you see the right wheel?
- It's lower than the left.
- It is.
Yeah, that's true.
Listen! I didn't mean to insult.
Believe me. I just... I just wanted
to tell you how beautiful you look.
- Listen! Are you going to sell me a car or not?
- Yes.
- Hello, Elaine.
- Hi!
- How are you?
- I didn't know you worked here.
Yes, I do. Temporarily.
Can you hold on a sec? I'll be right
with you. Axel, can I talk to you?
- Will you keep the daughter busy for me?
- No. Oh... she's my first customer.
The woman knows my face.
It's better for the sale, Axel.
- Woah, woah! It's better for the sale, if I do it! Because I asked...
- Hey, you're touching my suit, don't ever do that.
Please do me a favor,
keep the daughter busy.
- Elaine, do you want to step outside?
- Sure.
- Why's he looking at me like that?
- Oh, he's a kid. He's...
Do you ever think about suicide?
- Excuse me?
- Suicide.
- Not recently.
- No?
I think about it all the time.
I wanna come back as a turtle.
- Turtles are very nice.
- Yes, they're the best.
She's not my real mother. Did you know that?
She married my father. He's dead.
Both my parents are dead.
Boy! Do you become your parents,
like it or not.
Even if they're not your real parents.
I'm gonna kill myself before that happens.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Do you think maybe
you're overreacting?
- No?
- No.
It's an evil fucking match.
Look at my hands! Look at my hands!
These aren't my hands.
These are her hands.
Do you like my legs?
I hate them!
Sometimes I'll be sitting some place,
I'll look down...
...and my legs will be crossed
exactly like hers.
- Well! She does have nice legs.
- Yes, she does.
What's so bad
about becoming your mother?
Just wait. One morning you'll wake up,
and you'll be your father. Just wait.
- Wrong. My uncle is my only family.
- What does he do?
- He owns this place.
- See what I mean?
My father owned the 3rd largest
copper mine in Arizona.
Guess what? Now I own the 3rd largest
copper mine in Arizona.
You're an idiot if you think
you can escape it.
Don't call me an idiot.
Look, man...
...I gave you pazzazz...
...I offered you excitement,
vibes...
...sexy good-looking...
I even gave you waaaaaagaaanganngg!
What else could you possibly want in a car?
Good gas mileage. That's important.
Look, Mr. Del Monico, look at my lips,
look at them carefully.
Watch what they're gonna say to you.
They're gonna say:..
Take your whsshht and get off my lot,
before I punch you right in your didly squat!
Now git!
- Are you sore about something?
- Out!
Out!
Buy a Ford!
It's disgusting.
Isn't it disgusting?
- Goodbye, chickenhead.
- Axel.
- Hey Elaine, so I... you know, I was wondering...
- I mean you know we just met everything...
...I was wondering maybe the two of us could get
together some time, have a little picnic or a soire as sort?
I don't think so.
Goodbye, Paul.
- What the fuck was that?
- What?
I was waiting for that woman.
I told you I was waiting for that woman.
- Hey, come on!
- Why was the door locked?
- Why was the door locked in your office?
- She was making a phone call. A phone call.
- Oh, really?
- Yes, really.
Ok, gentlemen, new showroom policy:
As of today...
...if there's any customers
to come in here that are dressed casually...
...they're yours. As of today, starting now.
Clear the area.
Did you know
that the warriors in Papua New Guinea...
...afford eating turtle meat before battle?
They believe
that turtles are very shy...
...and if they eat the meat...
...their enemies will become shy,
and run away.
- Did you know that?
- Isn't that fascinating?
- Isn't that fascinating?
- Well, it's disgusting, but...
- A Papa New Guinea story!
- It's "Papua New Guinea".
I don't give a shit!
I don't give a shit!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Isn't that... isn't that the place
where the young boys from the village go into the woods...
...and they build a giant lean-to...
- Yes!
- Right! It's kind of shack.
- No! That's right!
- And they... Right...
- That's true.
- Right... right...
Then they bring out some beautiful woman
that they've captured in another village...
- A girl from another village...
- ...and they put her inside the lean-to.
...and put her into lean-to and then every boy in the village
one by one goes into the lean-to to lose his virginity.
Given the last boy in line is inside, the rest...
suddenly... go to in the shack and knock...
- Do you know the rest of it?
- Yes.
- Why do they knock it down?
- You do.
They knock it down, because then they
clear the way along as they go inside...
...to find the poor bastard who was
last one inside and eat him, and the girl.
- Nice.
- But they're natives. They're natives.
Oops! I've lost my napkin!
Everyday...
Everyday you come home...
Everyday you come home...
There's plenty of room here at this table.
Why don't you move your chairs apart?
No, thank you.
We're fine.
Grace! Grace!
Axel, why dont you tell them tell them
the Eskimo movie dream thing?
Why don't you, Paul?
Well, I'd love to hear it!
What is it?
Oh, yes!
My mother loves bedtime stories.
- Go on... go on, Axel.
- Well, this...
- This Eskimo, Dooey, is... is fishing through a...
- Grace!
...hole in the ice,
and he catches this fish.
- With both eyes on the same side of its head.
- I'm sorry.
- But is that a real fish?
- Yes, it's a real fish.
But then it's... it's a storm coming...
and... eh...
...so Dooey has to get on this dogsled,
and travels through the ice for the... eh...
Stop! Really, stop!
- Grow up! Yeah, Mother, grow up!
- And then they feel cold on the ice and then...
- Mind your own business!
- ...he gets down and builds a fire...
...and the snow from the tree falls down,
puts the...
- ...puts the fire out.
- Jesus.
Hi, sweetheart, go play.
- Is that it? What else happens?
- No. So now Dooey is dying...
- Grace!
- And... um...
...and his dog hypnotizes him...
...and... and brings him back to the igloo...
...where his wife rubs his...
his body with a sponge...
...and... um... you know...
brings him back to life.
That's beautiful.
It is beautiful.
- What was that?
- I'm... I'm sorry, my... my hand slipped. I'm sorry.
Kid, you know.
He's a kid. Beautiful.
It must give you great pleasure
to be the life of the party, Mother.
What party is that, Grace?
Why must you try to screw
every man you see under 30? Why?
Did you know, Grace, that...
...in Papua New Guinea, it's
considered a right of passage...
I don't wanna hear it! I don't wanna
hear it! I don't wanna hear it!
All I'm saying is that in Papua
New Guinea, if a woman wants to...
- I don't want to hear it! You stop with this, please.
- ...go to bed with a young man...
If she's older, it's okay!
- In Papua New Guinea!
- Okay!
If you fucking say it one more time,
I'm going to smash this table right now!
Papua New Guinea!
- You fucking thing!
- Go!
Fifth!
Paul, maybe we should go...
- You sit down!
- Go!
- You sit.
- Go!
- Sit!
- Go!
- Sit!
- No! You're not invited! Go!
- Sit!
- Go!
- Sit!
- Go!
- I think we should stay here tonight.
- No! You're not invited!
- Well, I am.
- Elaine, listen...
No, no! Don't talk to my friends like that.
They can stay if they want.
You are disgusting, you know that?
Do you know what you are? You are...
...you are a little immature girl in sagging,
old body!
But you're just a pale imitation
of me when I was your age.
Maybe so. Except I didn't kill my husband!
- Shut up!
- No, you go ahead!
You tell your fucking new friends...
- ...what it's like to murder somebody!
- Shut up!
- No, you go ahead!
- Shut up, Grace!
- You go ahead!
- Shut, up, Grace!
You're disgusting, you know that?
- Shut up!
- No, 'cuz I said it!
You know what? If it hadn't
been for you, he'd still be alive!
Fuck.
That's it. That's it. I am gonna kill...
I am gonna kill myself right now.
Oh! Okay, good.
Go ahead!
Go ahead!
I'll give you a nice funeral.
I'm sure you will, Mom. Guess what, though!
You're not getting any money!
You're not getting any of my money!
Wouldn't I like you? What else is new?
I don't care it anyway.
Look, Mom! See?
She's taking down her panty hose.
I'm so glad I'll be dead
before your stupid birthday!
You know what, it'd be the best present
you ever gave me!
This is it, Mom! Goodbye, Mom!
Grace!
Get fucking away!
Look, Mom!
She's got her panties around her neck!
Look at me!
- Mom! Look at me!
- I am eating! I'm eating now!
You are desperate...
and you're sick, Mom.
You're sick. I can't live this way, Mom.
I don't want to live this way, Mom.
- Why don't you have some dignity for a change?
- I'm not living this way.
- What do you want me to do? What do you want me to do?
- No, this is good.
What did you do that for?
I didn't bite him!
- Mom!
- You didn't have to hit me, did you?
- Mom!
- Is my nose bleeding?
- Mom!
- Grace, please don't do that!
Why aren't you looking, Mom?
Why aren't you looking at me?
I'm a failure!
- I won't live this way anymore.
- I've been incorrigible.
Everybody here witnessed, Mother,
you made me do this.
Grace, stop this right now!
You hear me?
- Go fuck yourself!
- Paul! Shut up!
...cowardly lion.
Grace, I'll never say it again.
- Liar!
- No! No, I promise!
- What you promise?
- Never to say "Papua..."
That's... You are so evil, Mother!
Grace!
Grace!
It's okay...
I'll fight you standing on one foot...
I'll fight you with my eyes closed!
Elaine!
Did you ever... You know when you're
just about to go to sleep...
...or you're just sort of,
you know, falling asleep...
...and... and you think you're falling really,
then you catch yourself?
- Yeah!
- That ever happen to you?
And you're not falling, you...
you're just falling asleep.
There you go.
When I was a little girl...
...I always wanted to fly.
From the top of the house.
At night, I'd close my eyes...
...and imagine I was on the roof...
...looking down at my parents
in their bed.
Then I'd jump off the roof...
...and I'd fly.
While everyone in the neighbourhood
was sleeping...
...I'd be soaring around...
...looking through their windows...
...flying...
...and resting in the trees.
I always knew I could...
...I never told them.
Once someone knows, they can make you fall.
They can make you fall. They can...
...make you...
They can...
After I'm big,
I may start acting weird.
I may even stop returning phone calls,
dressing in all black...
...fancy restaurants, the whole shtick.
I want you to keep me in perspective.
Do that for me.
- Paul, you already wear all black.
- Listen! You know what I mean.
I just can't become a slave to my...
to my career, to my success.
- I have to stay myself.
- I think she likes me.
- I mean, did you see how she looked in my eyes?
- The great Paul Leger!
I started thinking
about Paul's garbage theory...
...about the male organs producing the certain amount
of proteins when a beautiful woman looks at you.
And if she keeps on looking...
...your organs producing extra protein,
so deadly...
...that if you put one drop
on the tip of an arrow...
...it could kill
a fucking rhinoceros in 2 seconds.
I started to think
what I wanted her to think...
...I looked in her eyes...
...and bingo!
She was mine.
Paul swears that cavemen used this
deadly technique since time began...
...and that it was the deadly male protein
that killed the dinosaurs, not the ice age.
I think Paul saw it in a movie once,
and convinced himself it was true.
That's how Paul escaped
whenever there was danger.
And that's just what he did
the next day.
I never really paid much attention
to Paul's garbage theories.
But after a while,
I realized he was right.
I felt the proteins running through my body
like broken glass, I didn't know what to do.
I thought I was gonna go blind, so I tried to keep all
these proteins busy by making a flying machine.
I've never built a flying machine
before, but how hard it could be?
The proteins were making things fly in my
head, so I was kind of off to a good start.
And the more I worked on it,
the more I was sure it would fly.
I just kept telling myself over
and over again: It's gonna fly.
I never thought it could happen
that love hit me like an elephant...
...and I was thrown
into a jungle of dreams.
My mother was all wrong
about magnetic pulls in the world.
There was only one pull,
and she was lying on my back.
It was wrong to say I was "falling in
love," because I never felt any weight...
...because I was really "flying in love,"
for the first time in my life.
- Hi, Axel.
- Hi, Grace.
It's beautiful morning out,
isn't it?
- Yes, it is.
- Yeah.
Hey! Go on, sit down.
I'll do this.
- Cereal?
- Huh?
Cereal!
Sure.
- I made some coffee for you.
- Great, thanks.
Did you fuck her?
What?
My mother.
Did you fuck her?
No.
You... liar!
I can smell her on you.
You're not the first,
did you know that?
Could I have some milk?
She's had a lot of young ones like yourself,
she eats you up like chocolates.
A spoon?
Could I have a spoon?
Do you know she does it till she's
done in a whole box of chocolates?
She sticks her finger down her
throat, and it all comes back up.
- You must have done really well in school.
- Straight A's.
- Food!
- Good!
Food! Hungry!
- I'm kind of hungry.
- Hungry!
- Very good.
- Good... Thirsty? Yes.
Two... one... go!
Almost!
- You ever thought about leaving?
- Only about a million times.
Why don't you?
I am. Very soon,
I'm going to Papua New Guinea.
- Ever thought about Alaska?
- Oh, why would I go... why would I go there?
It's very beautiful.
Very beautiful.
In my dream... You know, the movie dream?
There was this place on the Bering Sea.
It's completely flat, and really,
really quiet, you know?
Not even the wind whistling, because there's
nothing for the wind to whistle against.
And there's a boat...
...and then...
- ...and then, you know, there's the Eskimos.
- Yeah, the Eskimos!
You know what the Eskimos do with their
old people? Push them out on ice floes to die!
- No!
- That was just said...
No, they don't do that!
Elaine, I was trying
to tell you the other night.
Eskimos believe that
even though you die...
...you're never...
...really dead.
What are you then?
Um... You're infinity.
See, they believe that when
the physical suit of skin dies...
...it becomes part of the earth...
...but your soul...
...keeps going, you know...
...into other things like... um...
...trees...
...or fish...
...or rocks...
...or even other people, who are
actually, at that point, you.
What if you don't like
what you turned into?
Um...
Shit!
You just wait. Wait a few years,
then you turn into something else.
And love works
the same way as so like...
...if... if you and I
went down in a plane crash...
...that would be okay, because
our souls would keep going, you know?
And we'd love each other over and
over, from place to place, because...
...because it's infinity.
- And you wanna go there with me?
- Yeah.
We would love each other
over and over, for infinity.
Elaine...
...we're going to the Bering Sea,
we'll be in love, and we'll never die.
Never die. Leave tomorrow,
we can leave right now.
Okay.
Good afternoon.
- Hope we're not disturbing anything.
- What are you doing here, Leo?
- Axel, is that how you say hello?
- Just hold it.
Mrs. Stalker, nice seeing you again.
Axel, want you to get your
things together, we can get going.
I'm not going anywhere, Leo.
I bet you're gonna come.
- Paul, just hold it, alright?
- Alright.
- Hello, darling.
- Mrs. Stalker, if we could... um...
...just be privately for a moment?
Yes.
- So you're working on the old airplane, huh?
- Don't touch it!
Oh, I'm sorry.
Axel, I'm sorry.
Yes. Great.
Great. Great.
Don't you think... um...
...maybe you should be with your sick uncle,
instead of playing co-pilot with the nutcase here?
- You know, this whole airplane...
- What did you say?
- ...you know the airplane thing...
- What did you say?
You know what this is for her?
Wanna know what this is for her?
- This is a job like a prescription.
- The name?
- What was the name?
- This is a prescription.
What was the name you called her?
What was the name you called her?
- Oh, I called her a name, right?
- Yeah.
- Just now...
- I mean...
What did I call her? I can't remember.
I think I called her...
I remember... Psycho!
I called her psychopath, right?
Psycho!
When you gonna get it, Axel?
- Ah... Nothing like freshly brewed coffee.
- It's instant.
I knew that, Mrs. Stalker.
I don't like conflict.
- No one said you did, Mr. Smiley.
- Sweetie. It's Sweetie.
And I know that
no one said that I did.
That's right, but we should
get down to business.
We don't have any business,
Mr. Smiley.
- Swe... Sweetie.
- Sweetie.
- Try that. Sweetie.
- Sweetie.
Good.
Very... very nice.
Yeah, we do have business.
I want him returned to me.
He's a man, not an object,
Mr. Smi... Swe... Sweetie.
A stranger doesn't tell
a father what a son is.
I think if you take a look around,
you'll find it's not me who's the stranger.
Mrs. Stalker,
let me put it this way:..
- You see that '65 Coup de Ville over there?
- It's a '66, not a '65.
I beg your pardon, it's a '65...
...and although it's a very nice car,
it needs suspension work done in the front.
Suspension is perfect.
I just had it checked.
Fine.
Then it needs a new alignment.
Did you come here
to give me automotive advice?
Even though it's an older model,
it still retains its poise and its style.
- Sugar?
- No, thank you. I never use it.
Now, just imagine
if you will, Mrs. Stalker...
A brand new Coup de Ville.
Fresh from the factory.
Sitting alongside your '65.
The beautiful lines
of the older model...
...lose their elegance. The body sags,
the finish is dull. So you wash it...
...you wax it, but it's still lifeless.
And there isn't a thing you can do.
Mr. Smiley...
There isn't a thing you can do
to make it new again!
Those two automobiles do not belong
together. Am I making myself clear?
- No, the only thing that's clear, Mr. Smiley...
- No! Sweetie!
...Mr. Smiley, is that your feeble
attempts to insult me with car metaphors...
...are incredibly immature!
Immature! Right! You're
old enough to be his mother!
But I'm not, Mr. Sweetie.
I'm his lover.
And I must tell you, your nephew
is a wild animal in bed.
Perhaps you might ask him
for lessons.
My reaction has one old regret
for my nephew.
I had hoped his sexual awakening...
...would've been with someone that knew the
difference between making love and fucking!
Oh! Come on!
Ok! Coffee break is over, fellas.
Back to work!
- Come on, Paul! Axel, up! Come on!
- Well, I'm not going, I'm not going!
- Paul, grab the other arm!
- Come on! Come on, Axel!
I'm gonna kick the shit out of you,
you little son-of-a-bitch!
- Come on, Axel!
- You obviously don't realize how angry I am.
- Just come along!
- I'm really mad!
- I know!
- Take your hands off him, Mr. Smilie!
It's Sweetie!
Elaine, you can't shoot me,
I have this performance on Friday.
Elaine! It's an audition.
It's an auditon.
It's not a performance, Elaine. It's an
audition. He's lying to you. It's an audition.
That... This is ridiculous... Um...
I mean... uh...
What I mean to say is... um... Mrs. Stalker,
we've said a lot of things, and...
...some were half kidding, but...
Why don't you put down the gun?
Uh... th... that I understand.
That makes sense, but... um...
But I'm not going to go around
for any more of that.
Axel, don't forget,
Friday at 8:30!
Oh, yes!
Oh, yes! We get in the car
and go back to where we should be!
I knew if Paul saw me trying
to build a flying machine...
...he would never understand that going
to Papua New Guinea wasn't the answer.
Flying was the secret.
If Columbus were alive today...
...I don't think he'd think I was crazy for
trying to make a machine that would fly.
Because history is all dreams.
No rules or books,
it's just there.
Waiting to be discovered like when Columbus
crossed the Atlantic and found this whole place.
I don't know if he found the dream he was
looking for, but maybe he didn't have a choice.
Fuck with me, now!
Because once you're in the middle
of a storm, you can't turn back.
Elaine was waiting the same way.
And there was no place
to sail with straight ahead.
And if she asked me to build a rocket,
and take her to another galaxy...
...I'd build a rocket.
Very nice! Oh, good.
Excellent!
- You finished now?
- No!
- No?
- No!
Alright!
You just finish.
Whenever I try
to remember my dreams...
...I always turn them into stories.
But dreams are like life.
You can't catch them in your hands, because
you can't catch something you don't really see.
If you believe in your dreams,
you could be surer than any force...
...a tornado, volcano or typhoon...
...wouldn't be able
to knock you "out of love".
Because love exists on its own.
Listen to me!
If you ever touch
this flying machine again...
...I'm gonna fucking kill you!
Being caught in the dream of two women is
the craziest storm you ever find yourself in.
And the battle is never a fight of good
and evil, but between weaker and stronger.
And the weaker is always
desperate for air.
At this moment, my feet were
planted in the ground like a tree.
And if you moved to one side,
you become the storm.
And even though I was ready
to kill Grace...
...I wasn't sure which side
of the storm I'd move to.
So I tried to anchor myself
until the storm passed.
Disgusting!
Turn around!
- That's the second time.
- What is?
- Where were you two minutes ago, huh?
- Here.
- You smashed the flying machine again, didn't you?
- No.
- Nope! 'Cause I don't care.
- Liar!
- All night I've been here.
- Prove it!
I don't know how to. I have...
Are you seeing me playing, right?
- To my turtles.
- Why's your hair wet?
Because I just took a bath.
- You like these turtles?
- Yeah.
If you want these filthy little bastards to live,
you'll stay away from that fucking flying machine.
- I'm scared.
- Are you scared?
- I'm scared.
- Are you scared?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
Yeah.
- Do you think it'll fly?
- Oh, yeah, I'm more than sure.
Let's do it then!
I can't wait any longer.
I'm flying!
I'm flying!
I'm fly..!
Sometimes you have to crash your
head into a tree to know what to do...
...and realize the secret of anything
is meaningless.
I'm not sure
why I remember that...
...but my English teacher in high school
talked about this Russian guy...
...who said that if you see a gun
in the first half of a book...
...you can be sure
it'll go off in the second half.
Somebody was gonna
have to use that gun.
The minute I first saw
the revolver in the barn...
...I started getting nervous,
because I realized...
...it was the same exact revolver
from my dream.
Never in my life did I think I'd be
an Eskimo in the middle of a desert...
...knowing I had to kill something
to put something out of its misery.
And suddenly, it all became clear to me,
like wiping the window out in the rain.
I was afraid if I didn't do anything,
at any moment something would blow up...
...possibly me.
So I decided right down to go and do it,
just to keep from killing myself.
The only problem was that
they were both so miserable.
I didn't know which one to shoot.
- I've been waiting for you.
- What?
Are you gonna use it?
- Don't talk to me.
- Do it!
What are you afraid of, Axel?
Nothing.
Do it!
- Do it, Axel, do it!
- Shut up!
- What are you afraid of, Axel?
- Nothing.
- Do it!
- Shut up!
- Do it!
- Shut up!
- Do it!
- Please shut up, Grace.
- Do it! Do it!
- Shut up!
Oh, if you're not gonna shoot me,
sit down on the bed, Axel.
You didn't come here to shoot me.
You came here to make my mother happy.
Don't talk anymore!
- Axel.
- Turn around!
- Turn around!
- You know what! Axel!
I had a friend
who was just like you.
When we were little,
we were rollerskating on my roof.
Huge... huge roof.
No people.
And I would keep rollerskating
and each time, I'd get closer to the edge...
And he was standing behind me...
- Oh, God!
- ...just like you...
...and never let me go.
Okay.
It's okay.
I have a game for you.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Old game.
Strict rules.
Okay.
Okay.
- It's your turn.
- No.
You don't say no to this game.
- No.
- Okay. Okay, I'll take your turn. Okay.
Grace.
Grace... please!
- Grace!
- Shh.
- Don't.
- It's a game, Axel.
- Stop! Don't do it, please!
- Shh.
My mother's sleeping.
- Okay, Axel, Look.
- Fuck you!
- Look at me!
- Fuck you!
No!
Here. Take it.
I don't want it.
What... what are you?
Afraid?
No, Grace, I'm not afraid of anything.
I... I just don't feel like dying.
- But that's not fair.
- That's not fair.
No! You came here to kill me...
...and we're playing a game right now,
you're breaking the rules!
Axel, what are you,
like this frightened little boy?
You're just afraid of everything?
Huh?
Axel? You're just afraid, huh?
You're just a little boy, huh?
Oh, you're so scared.
Come on!
Take the gun!
Take it!
Go!
You don't!
No, Axel!
You can't do that!
That's breaking the rules!
Axel.
It's gonna be okay.
Do you see...
You people...
Gazing at me...
You see a doll on a music box
that's found by a key...
How can you tell...
I'm under a spell...
I'm waiting for love's first kiss...
You cannot see...
How much I long to be free...
Turning around on this music box
that's found by a key...
Turning...
Yearning...
I'm... I'm...
Turning around and around...
And around...
And around...
And...
Thank you,
ladies and gentlemen!
Our next act,
Mr. Paul Ledger!
- Le... Leger. Leger. Paul Leger.
- Paul Leger!
Uh...
My n... Hello.
My name is Paul Leger.
A lot of you may be wondering
what Leger means.
A lot of you may be wondering
what kind of name it is.
Is it Italian?
Or is it Swedish?
Well, actually, it's a French name,
and it literally means...
..."Born to act."
And that's exactly
what I'm gonna do for you...
...uh... this evening.
I'm gonna be
Alfred Hitchcock style.
I'm gonna be performing from the master's
classic, "North by Norths... Northwest."
The famous scene in which Alfred...
The famous scene in which Cary Grant
is being chased by a crop-dusting plane.
Fuck!
Shit!
- Thank you very much, Paul Leger!
- I'm not... I'm not done!
The judges are.
I'm not done yet!
I'm not done!
- Come on!
- I'm not done yet!
Thank you! Oh!
Thank you! Thank you!
A one? One? I was brilliant!
Can't you see brilliance?
A one? You... you see that!
I should have got a ten!
A ten! And give me a one?
A one? What? On amateur night?
- Axel! Axel, I really have to talk to you.
- Hi, Millie. Hi, Millie. You sit down.
A one?
What do you know about art?
- Yeah! Can we go over there?
- Sure. Sure.
Hey! Uh...
- Elaine. This is Elaine. This is Millie.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Leo's... Leo's... uh...
- ...fiance.
- Oh!
This is Grace.
- Hi.
- Grace, this is Millie.
Hi.
Alright. Okay.
Leo?
Leo!
- Where is he, Millie? Leo!
- Leo?
He's over here.
He's locked himself in the bedroom.
Leo, can I come in?
Open the door, Leo!
- Open up!
- Go away!
- Let's go inside.
- Alright. One... two... three!
Leo?
Leo!
Millie! Get an...
get an ambulance, Millie!
You're okay.
You're okay.
Shouldn't I say something?
- To who?
- Your parents.
It's her mark.
They're dead, Leo.
Yes, I know that, but...
should I say something or not?
- Don't talk like that. You're gonna be fine.
- Yes, I know, I'm gonna be fine.
Promise me that you'll take
care of Millie after the funeral.
Don't say that!
Don't talk, just promise.
Alright, I promise.
Good, now that that's taken care of,
I want you to buy yourself...
...a few nice suits
and go back to New York.
I wanna stay with you.
I wanna sell cars.
I don't want you to sell cars!
You're gonna grow up soon enough!
I am grown up, Leo.
I love you.
Leo! Leo!
Oh, I'm okay. I'm just...
...just stacking cars.
I need you to help me.
It's too late.
They're not driving
the big models anymore.
Leo, we can work in the showroom
together, we can sell cars together...
...you and me.
- It's too late, Axel, the dream is over.
- I've been practicing my "hellos," Leo.
You wanna hear my "Hellos"?
Leo?
I gotta start climbing.
It's a long way, Axel.
It's a long way to the moon.
Leo!
Leo!
Leo...
You never came back.
There was a lot of legal stuff
to take care of. I'm sorry.
So not even a phone call?
I know, Elaine. I just, you know,
got caught up in everything what was going on.
I'm really sorry. I wanted to
call a thousand times, you know.
I'm really sorry.
So what you just... um... make you decide
to pop over? For a quick cup of coffee?
You can't just waltz over here
and tell me you feel like it.
- Elaine, please, it's your birthday tomorrow.
- Well...
- Please.
- ...what do you care? What do you care?
'Cause my uncle died, I'm sorry...
- ...I didn't come back sooner...
- Well, well, look.
- ...but I had to, you know...
- If you're looking for sympathy...
- ...take care of the funeral and everything.
- ...you've come to the wrong place.
It's the wrong place to come,
if you're looking for sympathy.
Okay?
Is that okay with you?
Please, let me
to celebrate your birthday.
What do you care?
What do you...
what do you care, huh?
Well, look!
You know what you should do?
You should just turn around... turn around
and go back where you came from.
Just go back
where you came from, okay?
How's Millie, huh?
Millie?
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
- What did you say? Tell me to go?
- Well... well... you... you...
Are you just going?
You're just gonna go now?
- Just go now?
- What did you say?
Are you just gonna leave the hell
or you're going for now?
You're going for long time,
how long you're going for?
- Are you going forever?
- Do I stay, or you want me to go?
- What do you want?
- I...
- What do you want?
- I want you to go! I want you to go!
- Fine!
- I want you...
I want you to come!
So what do you wanna do?
You wanna go or you wanna stay?
I wanna stay.
I don't think
you need this right now.
You know?
She'll be okay. She just gets like
this, some time she'll be alright.
Um... Alright, but I'm not
staying in there tonight, okay?
Elaine?
It's gonna be okay.
Nothing is gonna be okay!
Come on!
Hey... uh...
Elaine! Wait, wait, wait!
I... I brought you a present.
- I don't want it!
- You don't even know what it is, Elaine!
Elaine, you don't know what it is.
- Come on, Elaine, please. Just take it.
- I don't want it.
- I don't want it.
- It's a present!
- I don't want it!
- Please! It's a present!
- Thank you for the wad of paper.
- It's not a wad of paper, Elaine...
...it's... it's two tickets for Shishmaref.
It's right on the Bering Sea.
- Train ticket?
- Yeah.
You expect me me to go
all the way to Alaska by train?
Well, you said you didn't
wanna fly again, so I just...
No, I didn't!
- Yes, you did!
- No, I didn't!
- Yes, you did!
- No, I didn't!
- Yes, you did!
- I... I... I... I want to fly there.
Okay!
Okay!
Okay!
I'm gonna... I'm gonna cancel the train tickets and
I'm gonna make a plane reservation, it's okay?
- Alright.
- Stop!
What?
You think I'm old, don't you?
- No!
- Yes, you think! You think I'm old.
Don't tell me what I think.
That's why you wanna go by train,
you're ashamed to be with me!
I'm not ashamed, Elaine.
I'm gonna go trade these tickets in.
No! No, no, no! Listen!
I don't blame you. You're right!
I'm old, you're young.
You're right! It's disgusting!
Just stop it!
Wh...wh...wh...what did I have?
Can't you find someone your own age?
Why are you with me?
- I... I... I wanna be with you!
- But I don't need your goddamn pity!
- I'm not giving you any goddamn pity, Elaine.
- I don't need that. Then what? What do you do?
- What do you give me?
- I'm trying to give you everything.
- What? What?
- I'm trying to give you love.
Oh, love.
- What do you know about love?
- What... what do you know?
What?
You're a child.
I know what you need is
someone... sweet...
...and beautiful...
- ...and young!
- Like who?
Like Millie.
- She's like Switzerland, beautiful, but dumb.
- I want you to listen to me.
She was my uncle's fiance.
I don't want her. I want you!
This is crazy!
Ro... Ronny used to say that,
and Grace still says it...
..."Take your medication, Mother,
or you'll be crazy."
But he hurt her,
and I killed him...
- ...and I'm not crazy!
- I'm not your fucking husband, either! I'm me!
- Do you understand? You are fucking crazy.
- Get out!
- You're fucking crazy!
- Get out!
- No, I'm not leaving! I'm not going anywhere!
- Get out!
- Get out of my house!
- You just asked me to stay!
I did not!
I want you to go!
- Go!
- I'm pretty fucking tired of this game, Elaine.
What do you want?
- What do you want?
- I... I want you to understand me!
- You know something?
- What?
Paul was right.
- Paul was right?
- Paul was right.
Paul was right?
I can't believe that you would listen to anything
he would have to say about me. What did he say?
- Nothing.
- How nothing? What did he say?
- Didn't say a fucking thing!
- I'm gonna find out what Paul said about me.
- Find out who...
- No, you're going nowhere.
- You're going nowhere.
- Shall I go... Did you think I'm...
- You're going nowhere!
- Axel, I will not...
Where you gonna go?
You'll go nowhere while I'm here.
- Let me go!
- Come on... Come on, Elaine, come on.
You're not crazy.
Show me you're not crazy!
- Come on!
- Let me go!
I don't think you're old.
I think you're beautiful now. Don't say it again.
Do you understand? I don't wanna hear it!
Let me go!
Stop!
- Elaine? Elaine!
- Get out of my life!
- Get out of my house or...
- Lie it down!
- Put it down!
- Get out of my house!
- My leg!
- It's alright! It' okay!
- That's enough!
- No!
That's enough!
Wow!
I can't believe she did it!
Is it flying?
You fucked my wife?
You fucked my wife?
Oh, come on!
Please! Please!
Come on!
Listen!
That's Mexico!
That is Mexico. This is America.
We speak English.
Speak English.
Speak English.
- Yes.
- Look at his face!
What do you mean?
You're gonna tell me...
Shit!
- Paul, would you quit screwing around?
- Can't you see I'm having a fucking nightmare?
Leave her alone!
You're distracting her.
She's trying to fly the plane.
Please! Please!
This isn't happening!
I hate this film!
Life is beautiful.
I think what you did is beautiful.
Thanks.
I'm sorry about your uncle.
Yeah, me too.
Where do you think he is right now?
Right now?
Right now I think he's
probably on the moon...
...driving a golden Cadillac.
Life is beautiful.
- Grace?
- Yeah?
Um...
Do you think it would be
really bad if I... uh... uh...
- ...kissed you?
- No.
No?
- I'm sorry!
- Oh, you wanna hear now?
- I'm sorry.
- Are you gonna listen this time?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Alright.
Anyway...
Elaine is like a blueberry pie. Okay?
The pie is good, but it's very messy.
- And she's a kind of a... a trick.
- Oh, my gosh!
- Let's say she's a blueberry pie...
- Oh, my gosh!
...blueberry pie.
She looks good.
She smells good.
She probably even tastes good,
but there's one little problem:..
She's full of a little sprits...
...because when you take a bite, you've got
pins poking you in the mouth...
...and they're choking you...
in the mouth.
Do you understand? Do you understand
what I'm trying to tell you?
Good boy. Good boy.
Do you understand?
- Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?
- Yes.
- Okay!
- This philosophy is down with...
...with pies and bananas and...
- ...Q-tips and... and...
- What? What?
Yeah, well, I'm an artist.
What can I say?
You're a bullshit artist.
Bullshit artist, artist, what's the
difference? It's the same thing.
- Art is art.
- Axel, it's my birthday. Dance.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Run! Beautiful.
Sure.
I was right.
What time is the train
leaving for Alaska?
- You mean the plane?
- No, I mean the train.
We're not taking the train, we're
flying. Didn't you fly all day?
Oh, no, you can't take that all
the way to Alaska, it's too cold.
I don't want to fly there.
Elaine, I already changed
the reservations, you know.
We have to take the train.
It's safer.
So... you want me to switch
the plane reservations and...
...and make them into
train reservations now?
- Yes.
- Okay.
It's time.
...37, 38, 39, 40... 40...
Stairs, stairs, stairs...
Wall... Axel?
Axel, here, here.
Oh!
- Aw!
- I'm sorry.
- Yeah!
- This way. This way.
Oh! Don't touch me.
Watch my face.
- Axel?
- Please watch my face, alright?
Wait.
Wait.
Stairs! Stairs!
Axel! Stairs!
Tree!
Tree and table!
- Move!
- Aw! Aw!
Whoa, Axel, whoa!
Axel! Whoa!
I can't see nothing.
Axel!
I can't see!
- Aw!
- Axel!
- What?
- Wait for me!
Here it is!
I found it!
- Axel!
- What?
Here!
- She found it!
- Here!
- She found it!
- Wait for me!
I found it! I found it!
Come on, I found it!
- Paul!
- Axel! I can't see nothing! Axel!
- Axel?
- Where are you?
- Axel!
- What?
- Alright!
- Paul!
Here?
Okay everybody?
It's raining!
It's raining!
It's raining!
Come on, it's raining.
It's raining.
It's fucking raining!
- Mom! Mother!
- Yes!
I'm coming over, mom!
Mom! Here we go!
Happy Birthday!
- I love you.
- I love you!
- Happy Birthday!
- I love you.
I'm going in!
Go play.
Go play.
Go play.
Go play.
Did I tell you time when Axel treated
me for my 21st birthday dinner?
My good pal.
- No.
- Can I tell her the story?
- Or would you like to tell her?
- No, no, go ahead.
Anyway... uh... he decided...
...for my 21st birthday present, he was gonna
take me out to dinner and pay for it himself.
He'd saved up some money and decided he was
gonna take me to dinner, so we go to this restaurant.
Uh... this place we used to go with Leo.
We drove up there together and... uh...
...we had this great meal.
Big great meal...
...and I knew it would be expensive,
but he said, "The sky's the limit."
So anyway, after dinner
I have to go to the bathroom...
...and I go into the bathroom,
and when I come out of the bathroom...
...I see him standing by the door,
and he looks unusually nervous.
And I'm looking at the waiter and the waiter is
standing by our table kind of flapping the check...
...you know, on the table, he's... he's
kind of pointing at the check, you know.
- And I'm looking at Axel and I call up to myself:..
- Will you come up?
..."Listen! What's going on, lad?
Did you pay the check?"
Will you help me
wrap the presents?
"You said you were
paying for everthing."
- "Whaddya mean?"
- Okay.
"You made me not bring
any money with me."
I say, "Whaddya mean
you have no money?"
Anyway, next thing I know...
...we're running down the streets of
Tucson being chased by this wai...
...our waiter who was... who was this fifty
year old guy, but he was like me...
- Hi!
- Hi!
What's that?
- Huh?
- No! No!
Nope!
Very nice!
Wow!
I want you to have something.
For me?
- It's beautiful.
- I want you to have the world.
Thank you.
- I was thinking about what you said.
- What did I say?
That I was supposed to be
with you.
Could you hand me that tape?
Yeah.
You know...
...when I first met her,
I... I felt something kind of strong.
I didn't know what it was...
...you know?
I... I didn't know what to call it.
Now everything's kind of turned
around, and... she's like... uh...
...she's like this cloud...
...that I can see through.
And on the other side,
I see you.
And I feel something
very strong.
I think I know
what to call it, you know?
That make any sense?
Could you put your finger
here for a second?
Yeah. What do you think?
- About what?
- About us, kind of...
...belonging together.
What about this lamp?
Do you think Paul will like this lamp?
Yeah, he'll... he'll love it.
What do you think?
I think two wrongs
don't make a right.
- Meaning what?
- Meaning us. Two wrongs.
What if we're not? What if we're two
rights, and everybody else is wrong?
Nah!
- Either way, we're gonna be screwed, Axel.
- But this way we can be screwed together.
Oh...
- ...I wish I could take you with me.
- Let's go!
Let's go right now!
No trains...
...no planes, no fucking doors.
We'll go right out the window!
Hey, I have to take care
of some business though.
- House?
- Yes.
Last night in my dream I'm standing in the middle
of the desert, and my house is tied around my neck...
...and my body's breaking under its weight,
and it's engulfed in flames, and the flames are...
...climbing up the rope, and they...
...they almost reach my neck, and right
before they do, I wake up, and I know...
...I know that I have to
get rid of this house.
- I want you to promise me something.
- What?
That when you're done with
this house stuff...
...we can go away.
Come on!
Come on!
I promise.
- You promise?
- Yeah.
I promise.
Good.
It's funny.
I mean, it's a funny story.
And I have a lot of
funny stories, you know.
Hey!
Here they are!
- Is this is for me?
- Yes.
- You bought this for me?
- Yes.
- That's very nice.
- Yes.
Here.
You open yours first.
See what I get?
I feel like a clam here, right?
I've always wanted to be a sea
turtle. They're always happy.
How do you know
when a turtle's happy?
Because if you look at their faces,
they're always smiling.
- Turtles don't smile, Grace.
- Yes, they do.
- No, they don't.
- Yes, they do.
- I...
- They can't smile.
I don't think turtles smile.
Yes, yes, they do,
and they live forever.
- Who wants to live forever?
- See?
I'd like to die when I'm 35.
- You want to die when you're 35?
- Yes.
- How would you die when you're 35?
- How would I die when I'm 35?
How would I die?
I'll tell you how I'd die.
I'd take off all my clothes and get into
a bathtub filled with ice-cold vodka.
And I'd have a TV in the room with me,
I'd be watching "North by Northwest".
So just when the scene comes with the airplane,
I'd pull the TV into the tub and shock myself.
I hate that film!
I'd like to die as a little girl.
I'd... I'd go up on the roof
and jump off, and I'd be flying.
Well, I mean, I'd look down see all the
people watch me from the ground...
...but instead of falling, I would just fly...
...higher and higher.
What did I get?
- What is this thing?
- Lava lamp.
- Axel?
- All these are nice. Thank you. Lamp.
- Axel? What about you?
- It's very nice.
- Thanks.
- I'd like to be...
...I'd like to be thrown off a cliff, and then
my body could smash into the rocks.
But I... I wouldn't want a lot of people
at the funeral, you know, 'cause I don't...
...I wouldn't want 'em to look at me.
You'd be all smashed up. Why would
you want them to look at you?
I don't want them to look at me.
There... you're laying there in the box,
people staring at...
- You'll wind up living forever.
- It's for all of us.
Grace. What about you?
Me?
I'm not going to die.
I'm gonna live forever until one
day I'll wake up and I'll be a turtle.
Turtle Grace!
Sing it!
- Good night.
- Good night.
I love you.
Where you going?
- Good night.
- What do you mean "good night"?
What do you mean "good night"? We just
got by the fire. We're having a good time.
I've... I have to get up
and do things.
- Stay with us a little while.
- Yes.
Come on. No?
- Come on!
- Okay, I'll see you. Good bye.
Come on, Grace!
Is something wrong?
Did I say something?
Come on! Come on! Come on!
- Come on!
- Alright!
Sing!
Axel, I'm tired too.
I'll be get going!
In the middle of the song!
We didn't finish the song.
- Are you coming, Axel?
- Yeah.
Good night.
That's it! Just leave me!
Leave me in the middle of a song! I had
a great moment! Just leave me like that!
Go up and sleep,
leave me soaking wet here!
- Good night, Paul.
- Good night, Elaine.
- Wasn't that a funny story I said?
- Yeah!
Yeah? What do you
know about funny?
Good dinner, throw the food
on the floor. That's real funny!
Then you have a birthday cake,
and no one wants to cut the cake.
Well, I'll cut the cake,
thank you.
Happy birthday to me!
Happy birthday to Paul!
That's me! Paul!
Looks like she left about
Alright! Good!
Enough, enough, guys. Enough!
Stop! Stop! Stop!
Come on.
I gotta work, okay? I work for money.
Time is money. Have a drink.
Have a drink! You need it.
You need a drink. Go ahead.
Go home, and suffer with your
families. Suffer like animals! Yeah!
Why do I have to talk to four
fake artists? That's my day!
So good!
Godfather!
...big deal together, and that there was
something in it for me, if I could help him out.
He said that... He said that you were
being tough on the negotiations...
...but if they could get a little
help and close the deal fast...
- ...it... it'd be good for the family.
- Do you believe that, son?
- Do you believe that?
- He said there was something in it for me!
- On my own!
- I've always taken care of you.
Taken care of me?
You're my kid brother!
You take care of me?
You ever think about that?
You ever once think about that?
Set Freddo off to do this!
Set Freddo on to do that!
Let Freddo take care of some
Mickey Mouse night club somewhere.
Send Freddo
to pick up somebody at the airport!
I'm your older brother, Mike,
and I was stepped over!
- That's the way Pop wanted it.
- It ain't the way I wanted it!
I can handle things.
I'm smart!
Not like everybody says,
I'm smart and I want respect!
Is there anything you can
tell me about this investigation?
Any more?
The Senate lawyer quest that.
He belongs to Wroth.
Freddo.
You're nothing to me now.
You're not a brother,
you're not a friend.
I don't wanna know you,
or what you do.
I don't want to see you in hotels,
I don't want you near my house.
When you see our mother...
...I wanna know a day in advance,
so I won't be there.
Understand?
- Mikey!
- Mikey!
I don't want anything to happen to you,
not while our mother is alive.
Grace!
Grace!
- Grace!
- No!
- Grace!
- No!
Grace!
Grace!
Grace...
...go home.
Grace?
Grace! No! Grace!
- Grace!
- Grace!
Grace!
You promised!
For the last time, I heard a voice
that wasn't my mother's...
...whispering,
"Good morning, Columbus."
And it didn't bother me.
And finally...
...the voice became lower and turned into a wind
that sent the peaceful smell of cheap cologne.
And for the first time in my life...
...I realized, like Columbus, I had
to live in a world of cheap cologne.
And I wasn't sure any discovery
in America was possible anymore.
Smoothing roads and counting fish
wasn't science...
...but somehow
it prepared me for the ocean.
I don't know why, but... my father's
words jumped back into my head.
You know that work was like
a hat that you put on your head...
...and even if you didn't have pants, you didn't have
to walk down the street being ashamed of your ass...
...because you had a hat.
And even though my uncle Leo
worked for everything he got...
...I'm not sure he got
anything he needed.
Elaine and Grace were really one person
who were too big to share life in one body...
...no matter how much they loved
or hated each other.
After the storm,
I couldn't say life was beautiful...
...but all I kept hoping for
was the Eskimo boy in my dream...
...to run out of one of
these doors and hug me.
Even though I no longer
felt like a fish...
...and realized I knew nothing...
...I was happy to be alive.
Correction & Arrangement:
BANQUO
A howling wind is whistling
in the night...
My dog is growling in the dark...
Something's pulling me
outside...
To ride around in circles...
I know you have
got the time...
Coz anything I want, you do...
You'll take a ride
through the strangers...
Who don't understand
how to feel...
In the deathcar, we're alive...
In the deathcar...
We're alive...
I'll let some air come
in the window...
Kind of wakes me up a little...
I don't turn on the radio...
Coz they play shit, like...
You know...
When your hand was
down on my dick...
It felt quite amazing...
And now that,
that is all over...
All we've got is the silence...
In the deathcar, we're alive...
In the deathcar...
We're alive...
Come on mandolins, play...