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Ashita no watashi no tsukurikata (How To Become Myself) (2007)
Hurry, hurry!
Eat this, nerd. Hey, I brought a camera today. Let's take one together. - Let's take one. - Sure! Take one for us then, Juri. Thanks. Back then... I was afraid of the arrival of tomorrow. Say cheese! Let's take one together, Kanako! If I wasn't myself... If I was her... Would there have been a different tomorrow for me? Say cheese. Hey, let's play dodgeball. Let me borrow it. Hey! Who wants to play dodgeball? Me! Dodgeball? Let's play! It must be the same in all elementary schools. Juri! What are you staring at? There's a bullied one, a chosen one... and one who is neither. Enough is enough! Don't raise your voice like that, our kids will hear us. It must be the same in all families. Should we go down? That place is too expensive. There's a father, It's no use. There's a mother... and a child trying to keep them together. Have you thought about which junior high school she should apply to? I'll leave everything to you. Can you stop being so irresponsible? I woke up because I was thirsty. Oh? Want something to drink? Back then... I was afraid of the arrival of tomorrow. Smile, Makoto. Look at the camera, all right? Smile! Say cheese! Okay, okay. That's it. Great, great. How to Become Myself Sugitani. Yes? I received a phone call from your mother. I heard you're taking a week off from school until the entrance exam. Yes. I don't approve of it as a teacher, but there's nothing I can do if that's what your parents want. Please sit down. I can't spend quality time with my daughter because of my busy work schedule. So I'm thankful to my wife for holding the family together. I try my best to put my grateful feelings into words, and express them to my wife in front of Juri. Juri is a kind, sensitive girl who cares for the family. Not only is she kind, she's growing up to be a truly strong girl... I was so nervous! That made me hungry. Hey, why don't we grab a bite on our way back? Let's... go straight home for today. Okay. Let's get Makoto too, and go out for dinner together when you're accepted by this school. - Really? - Sure. So work hard for the exam. Yes, I will. It can't be helped! She only took the entrance exam because you wanted her to. So it's my fault now? "Work hard", "I will", "try to work hard", "let's work hard". Are you trying to say it's my fault she failed? I tried my best. But no one taught me what to do when I tried my best... and still failed. I'll get going. Juri! ("Do your best" gesture) - I'll get going. - Take care. Don't worry too much about our parents. They are a lot stronger than we think. But... It might have been worse if you actually passed. What? They like to be needed by their children. Good morning. Things changed while I was taking days off from school. That popular Hanada Kanako lost her status because of some disagreements during a class rep meeting. ...what do we call planting different crops in the same space? Yes, Hanada? ...ssion planting. I can't hear you! Hanada? It's... Succession planting That's correct. The most common example in Japan is rice and wheat, remember? Rice during the summer... And that Kubota Manami was accepted by the private school I got rejected by. Mom, I have to return some books to the library. Bye. Thank you so much. Send me emails, okay? Don't forget about me. Sugitani, did you come here to avoid them too? They're sad about leaving each other, even though they never got along. They exchange thanks, when they're not really grateful. Everybody's so stupid. We're finally graduating. So, you don't ignore me when you're by yourself. I'm sorry... I don't mind. Everyone's like that. I was a class rep, then I was excluded by everyone. My school life was a roller-coaster ride! Question: Which one is the real me? The real one? I finally figured it out after being bullied for 2 months. Hanada Kanako for the past Fake? Myself from before, the class rep is the real me. Smart, popular... But I'm going to hide that right now. Fake Kanako is enough to deal with those people. I guess it's like I'm taking the position that someone in our class has to take? You know, someone else had to fill the void, after Kubota got out of that role. The role of a sacrificial lamb? I would've never imagined it would fall on me. Such a role... You know, the one who was studying hard was Sugitani Juri who wanted to please her parents. The truth is... my mom and dad were the ones who wanted to be accepted by that junior high, not me. That's the kind of role I get. I see... Then we're both the same kind of people. I wonder why people lie. Have you ever read novels by Dazai Osamu? No. "You're a good liar, so at least do the right thing." But it's easier said than done. Right. Juri? Juri? Where did she go? Juri? Juri? I haven't spoken to Hanada ever since. The bullying of Hanada continued in junior high school. I gradually got better at acting various roles. Me, who was nervous unless I was doing the same thing as others. Juri's hair is really smooth! It's so smooth! Me, who didn't have the courage to stop studying or have anything else I wanted to do. Listen to me! How do you think I feel, doing nothing but work day after day?! How do you think I feel, working hard for the family day after day?! Me, whose hands were full with just taking care of myself. In August of my second year in junior high, my parents divorced. I turned into Ooshima Juri from Sugitani Juri. I began living in a condo with my mother. [2 years since then] You're going to be late. I'm going as fast as I can. I left your lunch box on your bag. It's those spring rolls you love. Okay, thanks. It's been a while since we left home together. You're right. I have an early meeting today. Are you busy with work? I think it's starting to get better lately. That's good to hear. Today's the dinner day with your dad, right? I'm going to be late anyway, so take your time. I'll probably be back home before you. [Sorry, I missed the train. I hope you'll wait for me!] Are you going to the literature club today? Yes, I think I'll be pretty late today. I have a student council meeting too, so I'll send you an email when I'm done. Let's go home together if we can. It's a dad day today though. Oh, then we can only walk up to the station. Pay attention! It's not for a while, but listen carefully. We have a school anniversary festival on October 31st. At this school, we have a traditional group game by freshmen every single year. "Ryougetsufu". It's still more than 2 months away, but we're starting the dance lessons tomorrow. Okay? This year's opening ceremony was from homeroom A, the sports festival has had a representative chosen from homeroom B, so a class rep from our homeroom will be chosen for the opening speech this time. We'll be picking a representative before October 7th, so come up with a speech if you want to do it. Yes... That's all for today. Stand. Bow. Hey, let's go home together if we can, at least until the train station. Geez, Juri. You really hate being alone! - Remember there was a girl named Hanada? - Yeah. I heard she's moving. What? Is that Hanada Kanako? She's moving? I didn't know! What is it? Sorry, I overheard you girls talking. Is that Hanada Kanako from Seinan Junior High? You know her? - We were in the same junior high school. - Oh... Do you know Hanada? We were in the same prep school. Oh, I see. Hey, why is Hanada, the sacrificial lamb, moving? I don't know, but someone told me she's moving. She's moving to Yamanashi Prefecture because of "her parent's convenience"? Skipping town, maybe? Isn't that creepy? Looks like she's leaving today. That's tough, huh? Hey, can you tell me Hanada's email address? Sure, but why? Some guy from my junior high was saying he wanted to talk to her. So I just want to tell him. It's an email address from really long ago, so she might have changed it. I'll send this out, sir. See ya, Juri. - Have a safe trip. - Yes. Bye. It's rare for you to stay late. Many people who joined this club to read books are having a hard time with this though. I like reading too... but it seems I'm not fit for writing. This is just another activity for the literature club. Just write. Yes. Ooshima, have you ever told someone a totally made-up lie? A totally made-up lie. I have. Then just write it down. After all, novels are nothing but lies. What's wrong? "You're a good liar... so at least do the right thing." Dazai, huh? You've done enough for today. Go home. You won't get any new ideas when you're stuck. But make sure you write 2 week's worth for next week. What about you, dad? How was work today? How was it? Well, it was so-so. What about you, brother? Why are you wearing a business suit today? You look like an adult! Funeral. Who passed away? A classmate from back in junior high. He started stealing my suits ever since he got into university. Was he someone you still met often? Things like that don't matter. A friend is a friend. You're right. Sorry. This one's cooked. Wow, I got so many emails. I'm sorry you can only see dad once a month. I have you, mom! It's more fun talking to you than dad anyway. [For some reason I'm really tired.] Come on, hurry and get in the bath. Okay. "You're a good liar, so at least do the right thing." That was refreshing! Here. Oh, thanks. Kanako, your bath is ready! Okay. Don't make such a sad face. I'm sure you'll have fun in your new school. What's wrong? Nothing. I'm really tired today for some reason. Did dad say something to you? It's not like that. I was just thinking about an old friend. You have to cherish your friends. I know, I know! Watch how you talk, Juri! Yes, no problem. I'm back home. Thank you for doing this for me all the time. I should listen to my parents! "Take your bath early..." [Hanada Kanako] "Cherish your friends." [i-mode Sending] [Email Sent] [Good evening, are you ready for tomorrow?] [Who are you?] [I'm your friend.] I'm your friend. [Do you remember what we talked about...] I hope you can live as your real self in the new high school. ["the real me" and "the fake me"?] Who is it? [I have no friends.] [What's this "real me"?] [Harassment? Please leave me alone.] She forgot about me. It's been so long. [Kanako] ["Hina"] [Juri] ["Kotori"] ("Hina" and "Kotori" are alternative ways of reading their names in kanji) I'm sorry, it seems I sent an email to the wrong person. I'm called Kotori. I apologize for telling you all this so suddenly, but there is a conversation I had with a friend of mine in the past that really helped me out. Thanks to this friend, I learned how to live my life well. Let's say this is some kind of fate. If you don't mind, would you listen to the story of me and my friend, Hina through email? "Would you listen?" Yet you keep sending without permission. Stop it already. I call it, "The Story of Hina and Kotori". (Hina: Baby chick, Kotori: Baby bird) Our first encounter was Hina's transfer to my class. She was an off-season transfer student, so the whole class was filled with curiosity. When Hina appeared before us, she looked like a really smart beauty. She gave a conventional greeting of "Hello, I'm Hina. Nice to meet you." Then she suddenly tripped and fell! Are you okay? Oops, I fell! There's the clumsy side of a seemingly unapproachable beauty. Hina blended into the class in no time. First, Hina found and joined an odd-numbered group. She casually maintained her position between others while walking home. [Sorry! I still can't get out of work. Can you put my dinner in the fridge? I'll be back before 10 PM.] Dear Kotori. Please tell me the rest of the story. This means it went well? Leave it to me! Everyone, get in your positions. Yes! Now, hold your hands... Arrive for school early. Talk to your classmates before your classes start. Get your parents to put a little extra in your lunchbox, so you can share with your friends. ...5, 6, 7, 8. Impersonate your favorite comedians and perform in your classroom. Start a trend of "good luck charm for love" in your class by using pink nails. It's so cute! This is a good luck charm for love. By the way, what was your nickname in your old school? Hina... I guess? That's so cute! Can we call you Hina too? Sure. Then, what kind of music do you listen to, Hina? I listen to everything. Oh, really? Then, let's go karaoke together next time. Yeah! Let's go! What should we sing? ...Thank you. What did Hina do when someone invited her for karaoke? Go no matter what! Karaoke box is a sealed room, so it's an irreplaceable place for strengthening friendship. "Improv singing" is best for making things exciting. The key is to make the old lyrics come to life. Whenever you fail the test... they make you take extra review sessions... Pointless tests, open your textbooks and study... Okay, okay. Bye. Bye-bye. You seem busy! I have 2 week's worth piled up. Want some coffee? Yes, please. It's pretty stupid, isn't it? No, it's interesting. What? Really? Yes. Why is Kotori doing something like this? That will be the key to the second half. What do you think? Who knows? Let me read the rest next week. Yes. Excuse me, Japanese beef Galbi and Japanese beef loins please. And a tomato salad too. There's still some lettuce left. We have to eat plenty of vegetables, right? Brother, do you have a girlfriend yet? He can't get one looking like this! How long are you going to stay single? What about you, dad? Aren't you getting a girlfriend? Hurry and eat! Okay. Has something good happened to you? Why do you ask? Never mind. Nothing's happened. But... boring everyday became a tad more fun. Funny Juri in school, hard working Juri at home with mom, cheerful Juri I show to my dad... I played all my roles perfectly. Through Hina, I knew Hanada in Yamanashi was doing well. And just by writing down my story of lies I wrote for her on paper, I got rid of the literature club assignment. Perfect. What kind of dates did Hina have? Do not reply to emails right away. Only carry white accessories. The secret to success is to use them to reflect light on yourself. Constantly keep a smile on your face. Here is the menu. Who ordered Latte Royale? Order "Latte Royale" for your drink. What do you want to drink? I'll have Latte Royale. Huh? Latte? Royale. Is that coffee milk? Ice milk tea, please. Yes. [Romance technique's] "Why did you ask me out?" Why did you ask me out? My little sister told me about a transfer student. Then I saw a girl I'd never seen before in the bus, so I got curious... Ask what his hobbies are when you're not sure what to talk about. - What's your hobby... - You always... You always stare at your cell phone in the bus, right? You look really serious every day. Good listeners are good at being well-liked. Ah, excuse me. No problem. It's an email from a friend in my previous school. Everything all right? - Ice milk tea. - Yes. I guess "Mirai Yosouzu II" (by Dreams Come True), "Kabutomushi" (by aiko) and... "Sobakasu" (by Judy and Mary) I can't resist girls who sing these 3 songs. Why, is there someone you like? Go for karaoke after tea. Do you like karaoke? Yes, I do. Really? Sorry, that was a lie. I don't go very often. I try to make myself agreeable. Actually... I don't really like it either. What? But... my sister said you were amazing at improv singing. Oh, right... I guess. We met in the workplace, and we started to talk... I guess we're kind of similar. It has nothing to do with me. In addition to supporting your mother, I also want to support you. The two of you watching each other's back, giving each other a helping hand. It must have been tough. Your mother is a delicate person, so I'm sure there were times when you had to be the one looking after your mother. I'm sure it was a difficult role for a child like you to bear. You've done enough. Can you let me handle that role? Something wrong? You understand well... about how I feel. (What were you two talking about?) Can you let me borrow that CD we were talking about earlier? - You're interested in it? - Yeah. Sure, I'll bring it next time. Let's eat. Actually, they're coming to Japan next month. It's been a while since their last concert. Wow, really?! We haven't gone to a concert in a while, right? Juri? Their live performances are amazing, unlike their CD. - A lot of times... - "You're no longer needed, because I can play that role better than you." "Everything you've done up to this point has been a waste." It was delicious. Really? Glad to hear that. An acquaintance of mine told me about that place. [We took this picture today. Join us next time, Juri!] Juri, aren't you cold? No. "I want to support you, as well as your mother." "You've done enough." You've got lots of emails! [Emails are fun. Can I call you Hina?] [Hina's probable romance Q&A] [When he asks if he can refer to you by your first name:] [When he asks if he can refer to you by your first name:] [Of course!! That's kind of exciting!] [Of course!! That's kind of exciting!] Hello, yes. Thank you for tonight. Food was great. It was delicious. Juri really enjoyed it too. Thanks for the email, Kotori. No, I want to thank you. No matter what happens, "The Story of Hina and Kotori" will have a happy ending. [Create unique cute habits such as tilting your head.] [Asking advice for your love problems will actually strengthen your friendship.] [Ending your email with a question mark is effective.] [Have the same hobbies as other girls in your group.] [Say "It was fun" like you really mean it.] [Join the same clubs as other popular girls in your class.] [Give your homeroom teacher an amusing nickname.] [Do not brag about things you are good at.] [Aim for 3% above the class average in tests.] [Remember his birthday and tell him "Happy Birthday" before anyone else.] Writing "The Story of Hina and Kotori" was fun. But the rate my fingers hit the keyboard slowed down as I neared the end. And so, from Kotori in the story... I turned back into Juri in reality. There it is! I found it! Mine's on page 56. Thanks to the kindness of the bookstore, high school literature section will be back again this year. [The Story of Hina and Kotori] It will be on the shelves at the same time as other schools, on Saturday. [Sunflower Vol. 17] Did you find yours, Juri? Are they going to sell these? It's free distribution. We won't get any royalties even if they're all taken. The story I sketched out had a happy ending. [At last, the story is about to reach its climax. Hina reveals her last secret in the end.] [Sharing secrets will strengthen the bond between you two.] You can ask for my help with anything. Thank you. [And so, Hina attained happiness.] A friend... gives me advice. Things can't go wrong as long as I do as she says. That's a nice friend. It seems I'm similar to her friend. The environment surrounding us too. [I'm sure you two will live happily ever after.] I'm sorry. Why do you apologize? I wonder why Kotori sends emails to someone like me? It's obvious. Because she loves you, right? She loves... me? I would want to send you emails too, if something was troubling you. Will you send me emails too, if something is troubling me? Yes... I will send you emails. Will you send them to me right away? Right away? Yes. I will. We'll be late if we don't get going soon. Yeah. I'll wait for you by the bus stop on the way back. Hey. Yes? Let's stop seeing each other. No volunteers? Still no volunteers after so long... Does anyone want to nominate someone else? Oh, let's do that. Raise your hand if you want to nominate someone. "Rivers cease to stop flowing." "In addition, it's never the same water flowing..." Yes. I think Ooshima would be the best. A while ago, Tamura of modern literature said Ooshima was good at writing. So I think Ooshima should do it. I realized it along the way. That I was trying to convince myself I changed after moving here, but in fact, I haven't changed at all. That I was just playing the role of Hina, instead of playing Kubota Manami's role. How about it, Ooshima? Um... I'm not good at those kind of things. It's a rare opportunity, why don't you give it a try? But I couldn't stop it even after I realized it. Because Hina sketched out by Kotori was simply too appealing. But it's all over. Who am I supposed to become now? [I realized it along the way... ...Who am I supposed to become now?] [Delete 1 draft message?] [Message deleted.] [Messages received] Are you finished with it? Thanks. Where are you going? Just going out for a walk. Ooshima. I got curious, so I came here early. Same here. Um, teacher... I'm glad I used this cover. Wow! The cover looks really romantic! Mine's right here! I've been thinking about it the whole time... but I still don't understand it. I'm sorry. That's not what I mean. I want you to forget about us. Because Hina you fell in love with... is not me. What's that supposed to mean? I don't get it at all. Excuse me, you're Sugitani, right? Yes? Don't you remember me? I went to the same elementary school as you, it's Kubota Manami. Kubota?! It's been so long! It's been a long time... You've changed a lot. Really? Yes, I'm surprised. Do you live around here? No, I just stopped by from shopping... Fine, I got it. It never happened. I'm sorry. Nice to meet you, my name is Kanei. I fell in love with you at first sight, please go out with me. I erased everything from my memory. That's not what I meant. I don't get this "real me" and "fake me" business. All I know... is that I'm in love with the Hanada Kanako I see in front of me. I love the Hanada Kanako in front of me. Can't I? Can't I love you? Something wrong? This address... I moved last year. You moved? Is there a problem? No, it's nothing. But I envy your talent. I could never write a novel by myself. I'm not very good. Not at all. What's wrong? You're acting weird. I'm sorry. Maybe I'm a little fatigued. Excuse me. I'll leave these here. Thanks. Something bothering you? Are you all right? Weren't you just about to say something back there? I didn't tell dad. Do you want him to come too? You would be enough. Teacher, why did you say I was good at writing? Because I thought so. I'm not good at all. It's your fault I'm responsible for the opening speech in Ryougetsufu. My fault? But I like "The Story of Hina and Kotori". You were able to write the novel when you tried. I'm sure you can come up with a good opening speech too. I will never write a novel again. I don't want to be able to write something like that, so... So? I'm sorry for making you worry. I'm going home for today. Me from elementary school, me from junior high, and me after moving here... Which one do you think is the best? Thinking about lots of things, troubled and hurt by them, all those things included are what's wonderful about you. Your mom always loves you no matter what you're like. Hey, something's boiling. Oh, sorry. I forgot. Kotori. [Alumni Contact List] Ah... Hello... I'm Hanada. Um... we were in the same junior high. There's something I would like to ask you... Yes? Hello? Kotori? I'm Hina. Hello? Can you hear me? How? How did you get this number? Hey, can you switch to video call? Yes, I can. Hold on. Currently switching, please wait a moment. Nice to meet you, Kotori. I had to see you and show you my gratitude. Thank you for sending me emails, Kotori. It's not like that. I don't deserve your gratitude. Hina was the ideal image of myself imagined by Kotori. I'm sorry. I said I was doing it for you, yet I was writing emails of lies to protect myself. Because... while I was writing emails... I wasn't Juri. I was able to become Kotori. Are Juri and Kotori different? Kotori has a best friend named Hina, and she gets along with her family too. Juri is not even close. Just because I don't want my mom to feel bad, I pretend as if I didn't mind being only with her. But the truth is, I still can't forget the time when dad was there, and the whole family was living happily together. Sometimes I wonder if only I worked harder... maybe we could've kept living together like back then. It was painful. Even in school, I was afraid of doing different things and becoming isolated. I don't have a best friend. We really are the same kind of people. We're both cowardly, so... we both prefer to play the given role, rather than get hurt by showing our real selves. But you know, I became popular through Hina, and I also got a boyfriend, yet I... I ran away again. What? The whole time, I wished I could become the real me one day. Then I should've just done it. Nobody's stopping me. I didn't want to accept myself living here right now as the real me. Because... She's so dull and uncool. "It's the fake me, so it can't be helped." It made me feel better thinking that way. But I found out. The cowardly me, the role of myself that I play, they're all me. Me, who wants to run away... me, who lies... and also me, who gets hurt... are all me. I'm still a little scared, but I want to live my life the best I can in my own way. Because even if something bad happens today... something good might happen tomorrow. Because no matter what happens... our story will have a happy ending! I was able to think this way because of Kotori... you, Juri. Thank you. When did you figure out... that it was me? From the very start. What? How can I possibly forget? What we talked about in the library after graduation is... a precious memory of mine. I see. It's a precious memory for me too. Right. Hanada. Hmm? I wanted to see you the whole time. I wanted to see you too. Let's go home. I'm leaving! You've brought your subway pass, right? Oh, I left it on the table! You're coming home early, right? - Yes, I'm finished by noon. - Here. Thanks, I'll get going. Hey... Hmm? I'm also inviting dad to Ryougetsufu for my high school's anniversary. Oh. So why don't you invite Ueshima too? Hey, who are you sending those emails to? She's going out on a date! Hey, is that Juri? You're right. Hey, why don't we stop by for karaoke later? - Good idea. - I memorized Yuna's new song! What about you, Juri? I already have plans for today, so I'm going home. - Really? - Yes, sorry. That sucks. I'll go next time. I'm awesome at Yuna's new song! You serious? I can't wait to hear it! Bye, see you tomorrow. I'm home. You have a package. Okay. [23rd Suiryou High School Anniversary Festival] [~Ryougetsufu~] Ah, sorry, this way. Good luck. All rise. Presentation of the group game Ryougetsufu by our freshmen this year. Opening speech by freshmen representative. Ooshima Juri. Yes. I have my friends, my teachers, my father, my brother, and my mother. This is me. And starting today, I will live my life in my own way. The story we will sketch out will definitely have a happy ending. English translation by 8thSin Subtitle re-timing for this version by chochoc NARUMI RIKO as Ooshima Juri MAEDA ATSUKO as Hanada Kanako TAKAOKA SOUSUKE as Tamura Hiroyuki OKUNUKI KAORU as Kanako's mother ISHIHARA MARIKO as Juri's mother ISHIHARA YOSHIZUMI as Juri's father EKIMOTO TOKIO as Juri's brother SAKURADA DOORI as Kanei Jun KONDOU YOSHIMASA as Juri's mother's boyfriend Theme song: SNOWKEL - Tenki Yohou Based on a novel by: Mado Kaori Screenplay: Hosotani Madoka Special thanks: FSC - Fantastic Super Club for making this subtitle possible Directed by Ichikawa Jun "Ashita no Watashi no Tsukurikata" How to Create Myself of Tomorrow International Title: How to Become Myself |
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