1
[Dr. Mahinder Watsa]
Let's see what this one says.
[reading]
Two condoms are more unsafe
than one.
They tend to break
with the friction.
So one condom used properly
is safer.
They have a column, like,
Ask the Sex Expert.
The page number just bounced
into my head.
I think it's somewhere
between 32 or 34.
Sex Expert,
page 34, right?
Yeah, everyone knows about it.
[Dr. Watsa]
I'm a 28-year-old man.
I've never indulged in sex
and I am a virgin.
While bathing I pull down
my foreskin and wash the area
with Dettol
and soap water daily.
Well done, you're looking after
your hygiene.
Presumably, you also
do the same with the ears.
Why not try masturbation when
you're sexually aroused?
It is harmless
and will give you some idea
when you start
sexual intercourse.
[woman] What do you guys know
about this doctor
who writes the column?
Do you know anything about him?
He's a gynecologist
who writes that column.
Mahinder Watsa. That's it.
-He could be 30, 40.
-I believe he's 40 plus.
40 plus. Tall.
With mustache and everything.
Wears specs.
Beautiful wife.
Keeps her happy.
[all laughing]
I can't see properly, you know.
I'm a 35 year old man.
I'm a chain-smoker
and don't get a good erection.
My wife prefers to insert
a ripe banana in her vagina
instead of my penis.
She says I cannot satisfy her.
I am depressed.
She does not like
your bad breath.
Stop smoking.
The nicotine may have also
affected your erection.
Be more caring
and learn the art of foreplay.
She may then prefer you
to the banana every time.
Arey,Sanjay.
-[in English]
Morning. How are you?
-[man] Fine.
[man in English]
One of my partners.
[Dr. Watsa] What is the meaning
of old and young?
Everybody has got the same.
[in English] I got this
compliment from someone else.
[Dr. Watsa]
You got compliments?
[in English] Have you had
any intercourse also?
[Dr. Watsa in English]
Okay, let's have
a look at you and see.
I don't see anything
old about it.
Looks very good and smart.
You don't need to have
an erection pointing upwards.
Or downwards.
Even diameter, you will see.
[man in English] According to her it's too thin.
[in English]
Everything is good.
-[woman on phone] Hello?
-Hello, yes?
Hi, Dr. Watsa,
it's Erica from Radio 1.
-Yes, good evening.
-[Erica] Good evening.
So are you ready for this?
We'll ask you
a couple of questions.
-Okay. Right.
-Okay?
-Are you ready? Let's go.
-Let's go.
[Erica]
Welcome to Drive Mumbai,
and there's no other way
to say this
but let's talk about sex,
Dr. Watsa.
Okay.
Let's do that.
[Erica] What is it like
to be known
as India's foremost sexologist?
-Oh, very embarrassing,
no doubt.
-[Erica laughs]
Anyway, I'm quite happy
that after 40 years of work,
somebody has said good things about me and I like that.
[Erica] You know, talking about
sex education in schools,
how important is it for us
to get the facts right?
And should we start early
about age-appropriate
explanations
about the birds and the bees?
[Dr. Watsa] You got me
on the wrong foot over there.
For example,
in Maharashtra, Karnataka,
and many others,
sex education is banned
in schools.
[Erica] That is shocking.
[Dr. Watsa]
Yeah, and so, therefore,
I don't know where they get
their education from really.
Because parents
are not very good at that.
Teachers are not highly skilled in doing that.
So I think
they're left on their own
which is a pity.
-[Erica] Thank you so much
for joining us, Dr. Watsa.
-Thank you.
Whether we wish
to admit it or not,
we could all do
with advice on sex.
So when in doubt,
please ask
the sexpert Dr. Watsa.
[Meenal Baghel]
When we were designing
the paper,
I said, you know,
I want a daily sex column.
And one of my colleagues
suggested Dr. Watsa.
One of the things
that went in his favor
was his age,
the fact that he'd been
a gynecologist earlier.
For nine years,
he's been doing this
seven days a week,
month after month,
year on year.
I can't see well,
is it 37 or 27 mail?
17 mail.
Dr. Watsa's column turned out
to be a big hook,
but it was only
partly designed
as a hook.
Partly, I really wanted us
in the paper to discuss
issues of sexuality.
[woman] Have you ever read
the column called
Ask The Sexpert?
No, I've not read it.
I know from some people.
-[woman] What do you know
about it?
-I don't know.
[laughing]
You remember
you were discussing
with me about that?
It's a very interesting column
you were saying.
My family is demanding
that I get married.
How can I ascertain
if the girl is a virgin?
Most of the questioners
are male,
but he will always stress
on the woman's rights.
I suggest
you don't get married.
Unless you appoint detectives,
there's no way to find out.
Spare any poor woman
of your suspicious mind.
And the things
that make sex so wonderful
like where there is equality
between two partners.
[woman] We have
Dr. Pratiba Naitthani,
a social activist
and a professor
of political science
in St. Xavier's College,
Mumbai.
She has been a part
of many campaigns
relating to censorship issues
in our country.
[Pratiba Naitthani]
I'll begin with an example
of a condom ad
where you have
three young boys and there
are five model-like girls
in modern clothes,
making suggestive gestures.
And then,
these boys start moving
towards those girls
and then the condom ad says...
and use a condom.
[in English] Now, as a woman,
I find this ad
highly objectionable.
Don't tell me that you're
going to now moralize to them
as to not have sex.
Mr. Kathar, first of all,
why are we so allergic
to morality?
I am proud of this morality
and I will talk
about this morality.
You might not like it,
you are entitled
to your opinion.
India is a free country.
Yeah...
I always used to be
the monitor of the class.
The best person
is always the monitor.
And I remember
I used to chase the boys
with a ruler in my hand.
I used to beat them up.
And even now, when we meet
for school reunions,
they introduce me
to their wives that,
"This was the girl
who beat me up the most."
-[woman] You were amazing
in your speech.
-Thank you.
I mean people think I'm mad,
but I keep taking up
every possible issue
which is connected
with women and children,
related to media
and child rights.
InMumbai Mirror,
they have a column
called Ask The Sexpert.
That one column is something
which I think is disastrous.
For example, the doctor says, "Do it, as long as
you're enjoying it.
"As long as
you are using condoms."
And then,
how to prevent pregnancies
and all.
What are we doing?
Are we promoting sex?
A girl saying that,
"I use the mascara tube
"I don't have a dildo,
"so I insert the mascara tube
in my vagina, and is it okay?"
And he says, "As long as
it's clean, you have to look
at the hygiene."
What are you teaching people?
Is it safe
to use colored condoms
for penetrative sex?
Colored condoms are safe,
used for oral sex
or intercourse.
Spend more money and you can
keep a different color
for a different day.
Daily, I get 60-65 questions.
I don't know the name,
I don't know who's written
about it, and all that.
Any kind of acidic substance
can prevent pregnancy.
Can I pour some drops
of lemon or orange juice
in my girlfriend's vagina
after the intercourse?
Will it harm her?
He said that acidic things
are also like family planning.
So, for family planning,
if I squeeze a lemon
on the vagina
then is it okay or not?
So the reply is
are you a lemonade vendor?
Where did you get
this weird idea from?
There are many other safe
and easy methods
of birth control.
Consider using a condom.
They come up with
a lot of weird questions.
If you told the word
"sex" to her,
her whole body used to tremble,
or something like that.
What's happening?
Like, all this
was quite alien to me.
And then it was like, "Okay."
[Dr. Watsa] Now,
after ten years or something,
she corrects me
on some of the terminologies
and, you know, like,
"Why don't you put it this way,
and not that way."
Initially,
if anyone would speak
about sex and all that,
you were like, "Okay..."
And now, it's...
"What's so great about it?"
Yeah, the attitude changes.
[Dr. Watsa] Nowadays,
she gets the better of me.
[crows cawing]
[in English] Hello,
I'm Dr. Watsa, here.
Who's speaking?
Hi, is it Hemlata? Yeah.
I'm very well.
And how are you doing?
Good, good.
So, I was wondering
how is that case getting on?
Is it still going on?
Good God.
What's happened to it?
Ask them to hurry up
because I'm already 91.
[chuckles]
They've filed a case
against theBombay Mirror
and me, of obscenity.
I was a bit worried about it,
I mean, not expecting
that to happen.
So long as
you don't put me in jail,
it's okay.
[laughs]
It can lead to imprisonment
if they prove it.
Now, how they will prove it,
one doesn't know.
Let's see.
[Pratiba] I have filed cases
against this column.
I know that I am standing
by the law
and I want something
which is definitely needed
to protect
our younger generation.
It's not a filthy, sex-rated
content publication
which people will not buy.
This is a newspaper
we're talking about.
Well, I think Dr. Watsa and I
have done rounds
of all the metropolitan courts
in Mumbai.
I think these cases
are really frivolous
and filed
by attention-seeking people.
I think, as a newspaper group, we will fight these cases.
Because obscenity,
like beauty, lies in the eyes
of the beholder.
[doorbell rings]
[in English] What do you want?
Doctor, I want
to meet with you.
[in English]
If you don't mind, sir.
[in English] I'll have to see
whether I can see you.
Okay, sir, thank you, sir.
For me? Thank you
very much, sir.
-Welcome. Sit down, please.
-Thank you very much.
She said he's 90 years old,
he's very nice.
[in English] Very good.
[in English] So that means
you are normal. Okay?
You are normal.
[man] Thank you very much.
[Dr. Watsa] Welcome.
All the best to you. Good luck.
You'll be all right.
Tell me
if there's nothing wrong
if it's wrong, come back.
[man] Okay, sir. Okay, sir.
[laughs]
That's why saris are so sexy
because there is a possibility
at every fold.
There's something
very non-threatening
about an older person
talking about sex.
And I think that's
what Dr. Mahinder Watsa
has going for him.
The way he spoke
made it possible for
me to be able
to speak more freely.
[all cheering]
[crowd clapping]
If you're having a vagina
remember it is not yours.
[all laughing]
It belongs to everybody.
This is the female's
Indian reproductive system.
This area over here is called
-Papa's concern.
-[all laughing]
So when
your reproductive system
-is of a penisable age...
-[all laughing]
...he will decide
who can slip it inside.
[crowd cheering and applauding]
And when he came for
that show I was just like
flipping out.
I was so excited.
He was like, you know,
"I have a lot to learn
from you, young lady."
And I was just like... [laughs]
I am a 25 year old man.
My girlfriend and I have been
in a relationship
for three years.
Of late, she has started
watching porn
and become addicted with
mimicking certain erotic acts
with sex toys
as shown on the film.
Will it affect our sex life
and will she face
any problems in future?
So what answer to give to them?
So simple thing is
she's enjoying herself.
Why are you not
when you are getting
live porn action
gratis?
A lot of people
refused to believe
that he was for real
and I had to, I remember,
once put his photograph
in the paper to say
that he does exist.
I just wanted to take
a few minutes to kick off
our question and answer portion
the really saucy part
of the evening, I hope.
And to invite
Dr. Mahinder Watsa,
the sexpert
that we all know and love,
up to the panel.
Give Dr. Watsa a hand.
[applauding]
First of all I'm feeling
very defensive.
There's a lot of clever ladies
next to me...
[all laughing]
And knowing so much
about sex education
that I didn't know myself.
[all laughing]
I remember a case where,
one of these young boys,
he came and said, you know,
"Can you tell us
"how much blood comes
when, you know,
you have
the first intercourse?"
So I asked them
whether you think
it's a bucketful or...
[all laughing]
And the boy takes out
a handkerchief
from his pocket
and says this little blood
which is there
do you think she's a virgin?
-Oh.
-Okay?
So this is the situation
which we are in.
But really speaking
we should start with
just simple hygiene
which is very important.
Dr. Watsa, if you could talk
a little bit about
your career and
how far we've come
and also where you would like
to see us go
in terms of sexual education.
That's a long story.
[all laughing]
[man] The school
that our kids go to,
has termed "sexy"
as a bad term.
So what is the word
which is used?
Because I remember
when I was about 16
somebody did call me
Sexy Watsa.
[all laughing]
What is the funniest,
sort of, most ridiculous
or most fantastical question
that's come across your desk?
Good God.
-There are so many
I can't remember now.
-[all laughing]
There was this one thing
that somebody wants
to do a goat.
I wrote to him and asked him,
"Have you asked Lucy herself?"
[all laughing]
[woman] That seems
like a great way
to end this conversation...
It's such an honor to be here
and see you live!
Especially in doing
the same subject.
[woman] I do have a request.
For me, sex ed started
with your columns.
It really did! I'm not kidding.
My parents never spoke to me
about it.
I started reading the newspaper
when I was 12.
I really need
a picture with you!
I'm a huge fan!
I read all your columns.
She said that
she remembered your...
I still remember the day...
One alone.
I'm a huge fan.
Thank you.
You're really hilarious
and to the point.
My name is Akansha.
Akansha Chawla.
You were wonderful, honestly.
You were everything
that everyone was looking for
in this event.
-Really?
-Yeah.
Light and funny
and making it relatable and
all the things
that sex ed should be.
[Dr. Watsa] We are some
10 to 15 nations together.
You go to any state
and they've got their own
culture and their own way
of behaving.
All across the board
attitudes are more
or less the same
as well as the questions
are also the same
and the worries
or the anxieties
are also the same.
The world has changed very fast and so has India.
So as far as my field goes
I think there's a great need.
There's a raging debate
in Maharashtra and Karnataka
on sex education.
What kind of sex education
should children be getting?
Oh, my gosh!
When I went through
the photographs and the instructions for the teachers
I was literally shaken
to the core.
You have to put a huge chart
of the female vagina
and the male organs
and then the students
have to identify
that "What is it called?"
It uses words like hole
while describing
women's anatomy.
It uses terms like,
sucking
while describing oral sex.
And the book also goes
to the extent...
The book also goes
to the extent of saying...
First of all it aimed at
HIV/AIDS awareness
so you can't call it
a sex education program per se.
I think if you want to tell
children to protect themselves
against HIV
then abstinence is
the only thing which will
protect them 100%
not a condom
or any other contraceptive.
I raised an objection
to this entire curriculum
because it was a highly
irresponsible curriculum.
[female newscaster]
Several states
including Gujarat,
Madhya Pradesh, Maharashtra,
Karnataka, Rajasthan,
Kerala, Chhattisgarh and Goa,
declared the program
unacceptable
and suspended it.
The petition committee accepted
my arguments and
went ahead with objecting
to the program.
We have an 8,000,
5,000 year old civilization.
It's not that
we had sex education
in the schools every time.
[man] ...and the conception
takes place.
Suppose no union is there
between the egg and the sperm
no conception will be there...
In 1952
when the Government of India
started five-year plans
for development of India,
family planning was included.
[man] Only for married people.
Only for married people
and those who wish
to plan their families.
But human sexuality
had no such backing.
Even in medical curriculums,
the undergraduates
they were not taught anything
about human sexuality.
He played
a very pioneering role
in that situation.
Just as I was qualifying
or just qualified,
there was
a very good journalist
by the name of Talyarkhan.
This lady used to publish
a women's journal
known asTrend.
So I used to write
the back of that page
answering questions.
I used to get these letters
from young people,
you know, from distant places
saying that we were molested as a child
and uncle did this
or a friend came to the house
and threatened me
now I'm going to get married so
my husband will know
that I had sex
so I'll commit suicide.
So that was the time when I
really started
getting interested.
Frankly, I didn't know
what to do about them
because there was nobody who
I could fall back upon.
There was no NGO
who was doing any work
there were no doctors who knew very much about the subject.
[Dr. Saroj Jha]
Dr. Watsa has had to
face huge challenges.
Despite the Kamasutra,
talking about sex
was taboo in India.
He was the one who started
the first workshop
on human sexuality.
Now finding this picture
is a difficult thing.
Here we are.
[Dr. Jha]
Dr. Watsa said
"How do you expect to be
talking about sex
"to people if you're not
using their language?"
He was there
at one of my lectures
at the Indian Medical Council
and it was a very big meeting
more than 800 doctors
where I was describing
the history of homosexuality
and then one
very senior doctor gets up
and says,
"Do you think
there'll be any progress
in getting an injectible
"where we can change
a homosexual
into a heterosexual?"
I was very upset.
I was as polite as possible.
I said, "No, but,
maybe I'll find an injectible
that makes a heterosexual
into a homosexual."
And the person
who got up and clapped
was Dr. Watsa.
[Dr. Kalpana Apte] There was
this one training program
we were invited to.
All the doctors and counselors
and he was talking about
the family planning work
that we did, contraception.
And then he said how sex
was an integral part
of any contraceptive work
that we did.
So far so good.
It wasn't too bad.
Then he got into
his ultra-radical mood
and he says, "So,
"who can tell me
about oral sex?"
And I'm like, don't look at me.
-Don't ask me. I don't know.
-[man laughing]
You don't exist. I don't exist.
I was looking... All of us.
None of us wanted
to look at him.
These conversations
were not easy to be had
in those days.
[doorbell ringing]
[woman] This time
he's taken the initiative
and he's taken the effort
to come here.
So I'm 100% sure he really
wants things to be sorted now.
And he told me,
"Okay, go ahead, find
a good doctor and we'll go."
So, like, the first step
was taken by him.
[Dr. Watsa]
How did you find a good doctor?
[woman laughing]
I was hunting online.
-I was doing a lot of research.
-[Dr. Watsa]
You hunted me, is it?
-[both] Yeah.
-[woman laughing]
Amazing.
How long have you been married?
[both] Four years.
[man] You know, everything
is perfect in our marriage.
Very good.
You're a remarkable couple.
We'll have to give you a medal.
What do you find good in her?
[man] Everything.
Everything? My God.
She must be very pleased
with you.
-You don't quarrel
with him it seems.
-[woman laughs]
No, we do fight.
Like we used to fight
a lot, earlier.
How often do you have sex?
[woman in English]
He doesn't feel like at all.
Even if I come close to him,
I can see it on his face
that he doesn't want it at all.
And he gets irritated.
I can see it on his face.
You want to change that
to something better
to make your wife happy?
I am in the transport business.
[in English]
When we got married,
I was very much well settled.
But after marriage,
my business was
literally shut down.
[in English] Breakfast time
is breakfast time
and sex time is sex time.
[woman] He's tried doing that
but it's just not working
for him.
[in English]
What you require, you require
to make up your mind.
Don't have this one-track mind
as your transport business.
The next thing is
since you masturbate
you must be thinking
of something or the other,
correct?
[woman] You don't masturbate.
[man] I don't do it.
[woman]
He doesn't masturbate
at all.
You don't masturbate at all?
So you have
nocturnal emissions?
-[man] No.
-Then?
In any case, you must be seeing
an erection sometime
in your life, no?
Don't do intercourse
if you don't want to.
You just touch her.
Kiss her, hug her.
Can you do that?
And you can kiss each other.
At least do you kiss
each other or not?
[woman] Yes.
[man] Yeah.
[woman] When I cry
he gets pissed off.
He gets pissed off
and he's like, "Why the hell
do you have to cry?"
[man] I turn my face
and I go to sleep.
That's the best thing you know?
[woman] No, that's not
the best thing.
That's the best escape
he's got.
Because he doesn't know
how to console somebody
who's crying.
And I understood it
in a very hard way.
Because, see if I'm sad,
I can speak it out,
I can cry it out
but he can't even do that.
[Dr. Watsa] You've got
a very wise wife, huh?
Do you have any objection
to touching her organs?
Do you do that?
[man] No, very rare cases.
This is the clitoris.
Which is her penis actually.
This is the one
which makes her happy.
Why don't you take her
on your lap?
Oral sex is also quite healthy.
There is no dirtiness about it.
If you want to do it, do it.
You can also do it for him.
It's up to you to decide.
Will you keep two days aside
in the week?
Whether you do intercourse
or you don't, these two days
are reserved for
touching, kissing,
and hugging and being nice
about each other.
It's simple.
You've done very well
in these three years.
-So, this is one more step.
Yeah?
-[woman] Yeah.
Anyway, like a good Punjabi
now you get better.
All Punjabis should
not be like that.
[both laughing]
[man] Thank you, Doctor.
Nice meeting you.
[Dr. Watsa] You too.
If there's anything,
you'll let me know.
[woman] Thank you
so much, Doctor.
[woman] We started from
a place where there was no hope
for our relationship, frankly.
Maybe now
we both are mentally prepared
to take the next step.
[Dr. Watsa] All the best.
[woman] I think
it will work out for us.
We'll be fine.
It's a difficult thing,
you know, living together.
In a way.
Personally I like something
like this, see?
These ones, you know.
Simple things.
Most of the times
if it was a shirt
or something...
[mumbling]
She'd pick it
and I used to accept that.
She was about 81 when she died.
In 2006.
Some years back now.
[woman] Were you very open?
Did you talk about everything
between each other?
[Dr. Watsa]
No, not particularly.
Not very much... I mean like,
in the sexual field
and all, no.
Regretfully,
we didn't spend more time
which we should have.
And in fact she became
quite independent.
Like for example,
if I went to a conference
in Cyprus and all
she was on her own.
But looking back
I think I could've been
a better husband.
You know, I had more time
spent on going to lectures
and things
on weekdays and weekends
and God knows all the time.
So I should've given her
more time.
You know
when you have something
you don't really bother,
you know, you don't see it
in that way.
Now when they're not there,
then you start
missing them, no?
That is always so.
We can put them back.
I think out of 365 Saturdays
and Sundays
I must have been out for
300 Saturdays and Sundays.
Delhi, Jabalpur,
all these places.
So many weekends
that I was hardly home
for the weekends.
Whose kids are these
I don't know.
[doorbell rings]
Hmm.
There's a leakage again
on the drainage side here.
Drain?
Yeah, on the first floor.
It's all dripping.
I don't know what it is.
Mmm.
[Gautam Watsa]
We've always been close.
I mean, of course, not as close
as most other dads would be
because in the morning
he was gone and I was gone.
In the evening he was
at his clinic and he never
came back till 10:30
and it was the same routine.
It was only over holidays
or the occasional weekend
that we'd spend time together.
[Dr. Watsa]
Who are the two kids here?
Is one of them Leisha
or Ayesha?
No, one is me, that I can
make out, but I don't know
who the other one is.
-Oh, that's you?
-Yeah.
I would finish school
around 4:30, Dad would
finish office around 5:00.
And on his way back home
he was supposed
to always fetch me.
Out of the five days in school
he normally forgot to fetch me
four days.
What did happen with me
is I became fairly independent.
The reason being I think
they traveled a lot.
Told you don't chew my laces.
Stupid girl.
Bailey, come here.
[Dr. Watsa]
We don't meet that often.
Say once in 10 days
or something.
The visits are very short
and brief. They come and go.
He's quite occupied
in his work,
and, generally,
I'm occupied in my work.
So there's not much to...
I mean, talk about, in a way.
Okay, well, see you.
Take care.
[Dr. Watsa]
Why don't you go down
in the lift?
No, I need some exercise.
[whining]
See how she misses.
Come here.
Come here.
Poochie.
Naughty girl.
Go!
Bailey!
Let's see if there's any mail
come in now.
I answered all the mail
in the morning.
[seagulls squawking]
[Dr. Watsa] "My neighbor is
a married woman and very hot.
"They dry their clothes
on the common railing
between our apartment flat.
I saw her underwear
drying on the railing,
and could not resist myself.
I was stealing the underwear
when she caught me.
She has complained
to her husband about me.
He is threatening
to lodge a police complaint.
But he cannot get me
arrested for fantasizing
about his wife,
because my fantasies are mine.
How do I deal
with the husband?"
"Stop your thinking
about her underwear.
Meet the husband, apologize
to him, and promise
never to do it again.
Avoid any
further police action.
Stealing is not fantasy."
He stole the thing.
He still thinks he's okay.
[horn honking]
[in English] Okay?
Well, I know that Dr. Watsa is
known to be one of the
key leaders in the field
of sexuality education,
family planning.
I'd like to think that maybe
I am part of
the sexuality education
brigade.
Is there a brigade?
[laughs]
I think a very tiny one.
[in English]
I've tried to do it now
on a voluntary basis.
Whoever wants me,
I'm happy to go and talk
to their kids about sex.
[chuckles]
[all laughing]
[Munshi] Most of our sessions
start off with
a lot of giggles,
and children looking
here and there
and everything, but...
[in English] If you're able
to keep a straight face
for the first 10 minutes...
[all laughing]
they realize that this is
actually something
they want to talk about.
If you say the word, "Penis,"
once, twice, thrice,
by the fourth or fifth time,
it's just another word.
[in English] Eighty percent
of the questions
are always the same
and they're so basic.
Okay, not mouth and nose
and ears and all.
[boy] Three.
[girl] Five.
Five.
What about boys?
-Three.
-Three.
I don't know.
So girls have three openings.
[girl] Vagina.
[Munshi]
Everything that's happening
has its own limitations.
I can have a very open discussion, but it's just those 20 kids over there
that I'm able to meet
one time, you know?
How many schools can I go to,
or can an independent educator or even an NGO, reach?
Realistically, the school
seems to me to be
the best place where you can do something like this.
Oh, you're already here?
-Good morning.
-Morning, how are you? Sorry.
I didn't want to disturb you.
Good morning.
-How are you doing?
-Good, great.
There's a lot of...
Um...
What should I say?
Resistance, when it comes
to school authorities
in terms of, you know...
[Dr. Watsa]
What difficulties
have you found there?
Very recently, I was asked
to conduct a session
with some teachers.
And the day before,
I sent her my slides.
But I think that
when she opened the slides
in the morning,
she got a shock,
and I had this panicked call,
early in the morning, saying.
"But, ma'am, our ladies
will be very uncomfortable."
-Yeah.
-So I had to tell her,
"You have to just trust me
and let me handle this,
let me come there
and talk to you."
I think, still, many people
have the old style
of doing things.
So there's a conflict.
I am finding that, every year,
younger people
are now going in
for sexual intercourse.
Formerly, it was all
like touching, kissing,
and all that was all right.
But now, they go all the way,
as they say.
Even 15-year-old and 16 years,
they want to know
about sexual intercourse
and all that.
-How many times
can you do it a week?
-Oh, yeah.
-All these questions
come up now, no?
-Yes, yes.
Has any question
embarrassed you?
-Not anymore. [laughs]
-[Dr. Watsa] No?
Initially maybe, but, yeah.
Because you're now
a hardened educator.
But really speaking,
do you think that what
we're doing is the right thing?
I mean, like
giving sex education
to the young?
And minusing the parents
out of this whole exercise?
Yes, it's a case
of something being better
than nothing, sadly.
But...
But that can cause trouble, no?
Uh... [laughs]
[Pratiba] Unfortunately,
this takes years.
I'm still going to the court
for my complaints
filed in 2004 and 2005.
I really don't know
what's wrong with me.
[laughs]
If you call it
being something wrong.
[humming]
I'm a very restless person.
You can see that
from my body language, I think,
and the speed at which I talk.
I'm a very restless person.
My mother tells me,
"Do you like to live alone?"
I tell her,
"I never live alone.
Understand that.
"There's no time to live alone.
I'm busy doing so many things."
The Ask the Sexpert case.
the FIR was registered,
the case has been filed,
but it has not yet
come up for hearing.
It's black and white
in law.
We've gone with an appeal
saying that a law
has been violated,
and it's being constantly
violated, and the court
needs to intervene.
And that's the reason
why the court
took cognizance of it.
The judge will say, "This is
an informative article.
This is not something where,
per se, sex is being depicted.
In fact, he's trying
to help out youngsters
and find out
what is the problem,
what is not the problem."
It's very sad that
these things
are happening every day.
What can you do?
If you go to high court,
they'll say, "File a complaint
with the magistrate."
Hmm.
Magistrate's court
will take minimum
seven to eight years.
-To decide the issue.
-Decide, yeah.
And by the time the matter
will come up after seven,
eight years, they'll say,
"Nothing survives.
Everybody has forgotten."
The sensibilities of people
are going down.
What can you and me do?
I'm 43 today.
When I was 23, the society was much different.
In a civilized society,
you have to have morals
which are followed.
[male newscaster]
Several hotels in Mumbai's
Aksa Beach area
were raided late on Saturday.
Forty couples were booked
for indecency in public.
[female newscaster] Ghaziabad police has come down
heavily on young lovers
in public places.
The crackdown has been
holding up couples
and punishing them on the spot.
The cops say this kind of humiliation is the only way
to ensure security for women
against men, who harass them
and take advantage of them.
[in English] Aditi Mittal
is back. She's a stand up
comedian and writer.
This is the most
natural human impulse,
is to want to interact
with the opposite sex.
You know, you talking
like it's
an ethical responsibility
of a parent state.
This is not it.
And nowhere in the Constitution
does it say...
[in English] With sex,
everyone's had it.
Everyone's heard about it,
everyone's sneakily read books.
And it blows my mind
that we're still
doing it sneakily,
that we're still so terrified.
[Dr. Watsa] I feel very sorry
for the young girls
who had gone out.
They must not have
told their parents and so on
and now to be caught like this.
The police committed
a serious breach of privacy.
Some years and years ago,
this whole place was sandy.
This has become lovers' lane.
In between cars,
they put their bikes.
From upstairs, you can see
any number of them.
Lovers.
[Dr. Indira Kapoor]
It was a love marriage
of 55 years.
And what was great
about them it was
an equal footing marriage.
They were more of friends
than husband and wife,
typical Indian marriage.
They would have arguments,
but she will fight equal level,
like if he did.
She would sit
at the back of a lecture
or something like that,
and then say, you know,
"You didn't do
that well today,"
or something like that.
And would say
you missed out
this or that.
She was quite savvy
on all those things.
She had sort of got
into the field in this thing.
It was very hard for him,
because he was totally
dependent on her
for everything.
Even simple things
like taking out his clothes,
doing his packing, you know.
I mean, simple things.
But she had really,
really spoiled him.
And he was quite at sea.
He's handled it well.
And, in fact, now,
he likes to be on his own.
[Deepa] How many doorbells?
My God.
[Dr. Watsa] How many?
-Every 10 minutes,
there's a doorbell.
-I know.
[Deepa] Come here.
Bailey, come.
Bailey, come here, baba.
We have arguments about this
every time we meet.
Every time we meet.
Strange people
coming to the house.
Some of them
I would not even entertain,
honestly speaking.
[Deepa] The fact is
that he's 91 plus,
he's frail now.
Let's help these people, no?
And we're always very concerned that somebody may come
and actually,
not be happy with the advice
he or she's been given
and attack him.
What's happening?
But he just won't listen.
[doorbell rings]
[Deepa] People are walking
all over the house,
examining things.
[Gautam] I've told him
a hundred times over that
if you take an appointment,
take the person's number,
take some details.
But he'll see them.
This is the whole problem.
-How are you?
My name is Watsa.
-Hi, Watsa.
[in English]
Hello? Yeah, speaking.
-[cell phone rings]
-Oh, oh, that's mine.
He himself says he finds it
now difficult to speak
for more than 10 minutes
or 15 minutes.
I say what is the need?
You see people,
last appointment
you finish at 1:00.
I can understand
you're passionate about it,
but then you don't go
over the top.
You need to draw a line
on what you're doing.
[Dr. Watsa] There's nothing to retire from.
I mean, if one person
comes to you
and wants
to discuss their problem
and it's very intimate,
they can't discuss it
with their family
or they don't like to go
to their own family doctor
and so on.
I mean, they want
somebody who could
vibe with them also,
and make them feel comfortable.
[girl] I'm 18 years old.
And I'm from Mumbai.
I started...
Can I say the word?
I started masturbating
when I was 16.
I used to use a water pump.
Then I spoke
to this friend of mine.
She was a little taken aback.
Like, "How do you do that?
"Don't you get infections
or something like that?"
When you talk about something
like sex or masturbation,
it's really difficult
to open up,
And especially for girls.
You could get slut shamed.
I've been reading it
for a long time, the column.
So I wrote in.
He told me that it was safe,
as long as I didn't insert it
into the orifice.
I was pretty happy because,
in two days, it got answered,
and I was kind of worried.
"I'm a 21 year old boy,
and I'm gay.
"My parents want me
to get married and even I
don't wish to be gay,
"as gays are not accepted
in society.
"Is there some treatment
that can help me
become straight?
"I've heard that
psychiatrists may help."
Frankly, you will
yourself decide
what will make you happier
in your sex life.
If you decide for gay,
take courage and speak
to your parents,
but before that,
check whether you are bisexual.
"I must say
that I'm really surprised
"in the way you answer
people's questions on sex.
"I do understand you
are a specialist in that area,
"but that does not mean
you encourage people
to commit sin.
"It is clearly understood
from your advice
"that it is all right to have
relationship outside marriage.
"You are directly encouraging
immorality, adultery,
"promiscuity, premarital sex.
"Making the already
sinful world
to sink even deeper
"into the evil pit
with no sense of godliness,
"dignity or
value based system."
I think we'll stop there.
-Hello!
-[woman] Hi.
The bell doesn't ring, is it?
Come, come, come.
My bell doesn't ring?
[laughs]
Many other things don't work.
-Like me. [chuckles]
-I know.
Mini, for so many years
you've been doing this.
You don't
suffer from what they call
a burnout?
Mini's cases vary so much.
There's such a lot of variation
And second point is
Mini loves his job.
Like if you phone Mini
during one of those sessions,
you've had it.
He's not going to answer you
however urgent you may sound.
But you can get a burnout.
So what do you do about it?
What do you suggest
should be done?
Write a book. Like you did.
[laughs]
What's the title?
I'm Normal.
-It's Normal.
-It's Normal.
But why are you looking
so sullen about it?
I thought you would be ecstatic
that your book
has finally come out.
Excited, it takes more
to excite Mini.
-[laughs]
-He's got so used to it.
He's got so used to what
excites people normally.
[laughs]
[both] My penis is small.
I think that question
has already been dealt with.
Is it?
Do you want to retain it?
-Or do you want to...
-I think retain it.
[Vaishali Mathur]
I had been looking for
somebody who would do a
sex book for us
and I got super excited.
I was, like, here's the person
who should be writing the book.
Then I flew down.
I said I have to come here
and convince him
to do this book.
This question
which is... I don't know.
To me, it was very offensive.
Do you want to take it up?
"During sex,
can a husband and wife
eat or drink..."
Yeah, I was also a little...
Urine, a lot
of people do, but...
Stool certainly...
But I think it's so unusual
that... Leave it.
I'll leave it?
Okay.
Just... I was just
grossed out completely
when I saw this.
This is...
"If I smear
a male dog's semen
on my...
"...when having sex
with a woman, what kind
of baby will be born?"
"Dog-human"...
And I've said
it will come out
bow-wow, no?
-First check if the dog
will oblige.
-[laughs]
[Vaishali]
Everytime I try to get
intimate with her,
I hear her ex's voice
coming from her navel
and asking me to get lost.
I have done some research
and concluded
that her navel is a portal
to her ex. [laughs]
You have to be thinking a lot
in order to get to the point
where the navel
starts talking to you.
So, Dr. Watsa's response is
you need to visit
a psychiatrist.
Please let me know
your research technique.
Shall try talking
to my navel.
Tell your friend
to tell her navel friend
to get lost.
[woman] The only way
to deal with it is with humor.
Absurd questions.
The joke is always
that none of us
are immaculate conceptions
and how did we have
a population of billions
if we were not doing it?
People think
that I have made up
all these questions
Yeah... For titillation.
I couldn't even think
of the number of things
they've thought about
but anyway...
On this page we are done.
My wife has a strange habit
of urinating a little
in the tea
that she serves to guests.
She says it gives her a kick.
Even though
I was shocked at first,
I have also started
enjoying it.
In fact,
even I urinate a little
when I make tea
for our guests.
Is it safe
to continue doing this?
That's a weird question.
How do you answer
a question like that?
-I mean... Lunatics.
-[laughs]
[man] I was very happy
when I turned vegan
in 2007.
You know, I was free
from many, many...
-Ailments.
-Limitations
and ailments.
My sinus was off.
[chuckles] Actually,
I became over enthusiastic
and in the last 8 months,
I went a step further.
I became a raw foodist.
-You did what?
-Raw foodist.
-Raw food.
-Within six months
-my capacity was over.
-[phone ringing]
-Please take the call.
-Excuse me.
[man sighs]
[man] From last 8 months,
there has been
a significant decrease.
Not in the desire
but the capacity.
The penis doesn't stiffen up.
It doesn't penetrate.
Hmm.
And my wife is left
with unhappiness.
And you don't do masturbation,
do you, in between?
-I do it very regularly.
-You do?
I'm addicted to porn sites.
I need to release myself
-once every day.
-Okay.
When I go to the office,
the first thing I do is that.
And then only
I feel like working.
Right. In the office
you do masturbation?
[stammers] It's my own office,
my own cabin.
-I see.
-I see porn sites.
I read some stories.
Then I masturbate.
Actually, with increase in age,
the difference between
the husband and the wife
has a little bit widened.
-Widened.
-Uh...
I'm into business,
she's into household.
She is not vegan.
You see,
I'm the happiest person
in my group.
-Very good.
-I'm the luckiest person
in my group.
Friend circle.
I am also
most pampered boy in my family.
The limitation is that
everything is decided
by my father.
Everywhere, my father
has got 95% control.
-Oh.
-I'm having barely 5% control.
He takes a call...
And it is, uh,
surprisingly he's 100% right
and, surprisingly,
I'm 100% wrong.
I feel I'm powerless
on the back of my mind.
So you think all these factors
are affecting your erection?
I believe it is affecting
my confidence
on the back of my mind.
But when you don't
have confidence,
that can also reflect
back on your
-genital system, no?
-Yes.
Whenever I bring up a topic
-of fancy dressing, or...
-Yeah.
Then she immediately
throws back...
-Then, what will happen?
-Then, out of...
No, no. Out of
all six brothers' wives,
she has been the most modern.
Right. You're doing
a lot of comparison
with everybody.
She's doing.
Okay. Have a look at this.
Like this, see?
Take her legs on your shoulder
Even when I'm talking to you,
some ideas are coming
to your mind and...
No. No erection is coming.
No, erection will not come now.
Yes, ideas I'm getting.
But...
Actually, you know,
there has been
a bit of conflict.
Her friends circle,
there are four-five programs
in three months.
And with my friends circle,
zero programs.
Zero program. Then...
Fifth or sixth time,
my head will go off.
"I'm not coming. You go alone."
-See, there's one thing.
-Yeah.
You are able to identify
that there are a lot
of these conflicts.
-Mmm-hmm.
-Which are, in a way,
-not very mature.
-Yeah, yeah.
-This is what a child would do.
-Correct.
-So, you're not a child, but...
-Yeah.
-That childlike attitude.
-Yeah.
Think how you can always
make yourself like an adult.
I'm just trying to settle down
because, you know,
you never think of these things
unless somebody inquires,
you know?
And then you feel
you know, head turning...
There are some areas
I wanted to know.
I wanted to engage
a couple in, sort of,
some romantic...
-Situations.
-Situations.
Not, I mean, not...
But if two couples together
can generate something, like,
joint swimming.
You know, and, uh...
Yeah, but that's
a difficult thing to do.
Yeah, I've to convince
all of them.
-First, you do this.
-First, I'll do this.
-Then we'll see.
-Yeah, we'll see.
-Okay?
-Yeah.
[man chuckles]
My God, we've grown up.
We're discussing these topics.[chuckles]
[Dr. Watsa] Every man
wants to think he's a hero.
[horns honking]
Doctor, can a...
Can a young person read this?
[Dr. Watsa] Yeah, yeah.
Nineteen-20 years?
[Dr. Watsa]
Oh, definitely.
It's meant for them.
[laughing]
Tell me something
nice to write.
[chuckles]
You should know.
You're the funny man.
[woman] Hello?
Good evening, everyone.
It's lovely to see
a full house here.
Of course, I expected
a full house because
it's Dr. Watsa.
So, are there any
interesting anecdotes
or stories from your patients
that you wish you could address
in your column?
Is there anything
that you can think of?
Well, I thought
you'd ask me that question
and I sort of made
a little note over there.
Maybe you could read it
from there.
"I have a small penis
and I can't seem
to satisfy my girlfriend.
My astrologer has advised me
to pull it every day.
for 15 minutes
while reciting a prayer.
I have been doing this
for a month
but it hasn't helped.
What should I do?"
[audience laughing]
"If he was right,
most men would have a penis
hitting their knees."
[laughing]
"God doesn't help gullible,
foolish men.
Go visit a sexpert instead
who can teach you
the art of making love."
I'd like
to throw the floor open
to you guys.
Please come up
and ask a question.
The mic will be around.
Come on, guys.
Somebody needs
to break the ice here.
Anyone with questions?
What is digital sex?
Using your fingers.
[laughing]
That's it!
Thank you so much.
Different castes
have different sex power.
Different castes
have different sex power?
No, no, no.
Different castes
have different power.
We'll sit down
and talk about it
after I've signed this.
I'm going to crash the queue
just to say congratulations
and I will call you
and we shall meet.
This week.
Yeah, you better.
-Of course,
I have your autograph.
-You've divorced me.
No, no. [laughs]
All the very best.
The power of sex
depends upon the community.
Muslim has more power.
-Parsi has got more...
-No, no, no. Nothing like that.
-You're taking him home?
-Yes.
Let me have a picture with you.
Sex also depends
upon the height
of a woman or a man.
Or the size of...
-Of a woman.
-No, no. Not at all.
Not at all.
This is going to be very handy
for me to read
-because my husband
left me...
-Oh.
Three-and-a-half years ago
when I was going
through menopause.
Thank you very, very much.
All the best.
The smaller the height of a...
-No, no, no.
-Boy. Has got a very small...
Not at all. Not at all.
So the size and the height
is not concerned at all?
Not at all.
If you can get the book,
you read it. It will be
a useful book for you.
Yeah.
[Dr. Watsa]
Ignorance is
profound sometimes.
What we are doing
is like a drop
in the ocean, literally.
[Pratiba singing in Hindi]
[Pratiba]
Maybe it's just a drop
in the huge ocean
but, in India,
if you want to bring change,
you need to have lots
and lots of patience.
Lots and lots of patience.
And especially
if you're looking for
a positive change, certainly.
[laughs]
It's been so many years.
That's why I'm saying that now,
they're exhausted
of questions also,
so, they've come down
to pee in the tea,
et cetera, et cetera.
[laughs] You're serving tea
with pee!
And you're printing it.
I mean... [clicks tongue]
What's wrong with them?
So, the column is what it was.
The case is where it was.
[woman] Would you be interested
to know if the column
has been of help to people?
For what? I'm not bothered
about people's sexual health.
I'm not a sexpert
like Mahinder Watsa.
I don't make my living
out of solving people's
sexual problems.
If they say,
"I'm well within my right,
my freedom of expression,"
I'm well within my right
to object to it.
That's what democracy
is unfortunately all about.
[Dr. Watsa] Okay, here we are.
I'd like to read you something
which, I think,
will give in summary
what my hopes that the work
that I'm doing will help.
All human beings are sexual.
Going through life
is a wonderful journey,
full of excitement
and surprises.
Learning about sexuality begins from the time a child is born
and continues
until the end of life.
That's pretty.
That's pretty, yeah?
-It's been a pleasure, sir.
-How do you do?
Yeah, I mean...
[laughs] I am awestruck.
Completely.
[laughs] I don't have my phone.
I just wanna go home,
get my phone,
and get a picture with you.
-Go. I'll wait for you.
-It's just...
Okay. I'll be right back!
-Go.
-Bye. See you!
Good.
Hello. I'm back with my phone.
We thought
you'd disappeared.
Not at all. [laughs]
These people who are
in their 40s or 50s, they're
like a sandwich generation.
You know? Because their parents
taught them something
and their children
are completely not
what they thought of.
Like, I'm 27 years old
and I have a curfew.
I earn, I make a living,
and I have a curfew
at 10 o'clock.
-You have a curfew?
-Yes! [laughs]
Well, you're
a pretty girl, so...
You're what people want,
you know.
Please. I can
take care of myself.
At least in my city.
You're not trying to,
now sort of think also
of settling down in marriage
or something?
No, I'm not very...
You'll wait for your parents
to arrange it?
No, not at all.
I'm waiting
for my career to set.
But why not simultaneously?
You have to be
economically independent.
Then que sera sera.
-Whatever happens, happens.
-That's good. That's good.
But all my guy friends
who are my buddies
they have categorically told me
that I'm cute
but I'm not hot.
Better change your friends.
[laughs] Hopefully.
They're not your friends.
They're just friends.
-Smile.
-Let me take my glasses off.
Oh, my God.
You're just like me.
Okay. Okay.
Smile.
Okay. I'm smiling.
Don't you consider yourself
as a legend?
-Not at all.
-Oh, please.
That's very modest.
Not at all.
Okay. So, legend is high.
Too much.
Do you consider yourself
that you have
achieved something
that is significant
and that has made...
-I think I have.
-...life better for people
in India?
That I don't know,
whether it's made
life better for people in India
but I have established
sex education.
-Isn't that contributing...
-From 1976.
Isn't that contributing
towards your country?
Yeah, it's all right.
So I'm not feeling
great about it.
You're not feeling
great about it?
No. Actually, it's okay.
I think, by age, you know,
people stop being excited.
Or, you know,
they don't feel that...
No, no, no.
-No?
-Uh-uh.
-It's always been like that.
-Like, see, I'm so...
I'm so excited
talking with you,
you're just calm and composed.
Yeah, I find people, you know,
make opinions about each other
by themselves.
So why should I make
my own opinion?
They might think
"this fellow is a rogue."
"This fellow
is writing rubbish."
-Do you enjoy your work?
-Yeah. Why not?
You always should enjoy it,
otherwise what's
the point of...
Yeah, what's the point.
Exactly.
Doing something you don't like?
Absolutely.
Okay. Thank you so much.
-Welcome. Good luck.
-It was a pleasure.
-Thank you.
-Good luck to you.