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Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies (2017)
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[car alarm blaring] [man, over headset] We're about to put Quadoxin, riverside test field drop. Mike, Whiskey, 31-Niner-84. Matt, beer me. [airplane engine rumbling] Damn, Lonnie's spraying crops kinda early. I mean, Tom... seeing this. Crazy, Robbie, he can't see shit. Yo! Your hot sister's in town? This better be worth it, Robbie. I'm kinda partied out, man. First day of the festival. Gotta keep the party going. Yo. What's in that pipe? [goats bleating] There it is. Stay close. You sure old Creighton's got pot? That's the same stuff y'all were smoking last night. So, yeah, I'm pretty sure. All we gotta do is get inside and take it. [bleats] Check the windows, see if he's inside. Hey, yo, I think I see Creighton. - I see a hand. - Hey, Creighton! Wake up, old man! Let's so some business! Must be piss drunk and blacked out. The hand ain't moving. Asher, don't bother. Matt, step back. [bleats] Dude, you didn't even break the door frame. I'm impressed. Saw a dude on YouTube. The trick is to kick right next to the lock with exquisite force. Creighton. Hey, Creighton? Wake up, you goat fucker. - What's that? - Nice. Damn, he don't look good at all. [Robbie] We got what we came for. Let's split before he wakes up. He's dead. Holy shit, man! Holy shit! Yeah. Yeah, man, he's dead. He ain't breathing. [growling, screaming] Get off! - Damn it! - Come on, man. Get up. [whimpering] - Let's get out! - [groans] [growling] Come on, go! [Creighton growling] [grunting, snorting] [saw buzzing] It's a beautiful day, Mr. Mayor. It is indeed a beautiful day, Ellie. Will you be taking lunch? Perhaps Mi Casa Su Casa? Jiffy's? Mama Lou's? Oh, Beau Clair's will do it. Always does. Beau Clair's it is, then. After that, we're gonna check out the blues music festival grounds for the gala opening this afternoon. The blues festival sure crept up fast, sir. It certainly has, Ellie. The grounds crew ought to be done setting up the stage or they're gonna get themselves an ass full of Italian leather. I'm not about to give a speech where I can't be heard. Let's get out of here. [engine roaring] How's today's run with our new mix, Lonnie? No problems to report, Dr. Fukushima. The mix isn't clogging up the nozzles anymore. We got a good drop. Excellent. We appreciate your help in our field research, Lonnie. Dr. Klein? [German accent] Yeah, we'll have a new application area ready within the week. Probably the northeast coordinates. So, shall we say Monday? That's fine, fine. How much longer you think this is gonna keep going? The work, I mean. We've permission from the mayor's office to run tests for another month. We'd like to try different variations of the mix. But after today's drop, we need to begin collecting field samples. This is a big deal for us, Lonnie. A very big deal. It could transform the South. Eradication of an invasive species benefits the region. It might even bring back entire groves of Quercus virginiana. Kweerkos what? Southern live oak. It's a true part of Southern heritage. The funny thing is, truth be told, we're used to kudzu around here. The goats love it. Heck, we even cook with it. So, you have the rest of the week off - before we begin again. - Great. I'll be helping my uncle get his meat pies going for the Mose Allison Blues Festival. You two should drop by. Unfortunately, Lonnie, it's all work and no play for us. Making us a pair of dull scientists, indeed, I'm afraid. Well, okay, then. 9:00 a.m. Monday? Yeah. - See you here. - See you here. [growling] Come on! Come on! Jeez, this hurts, man! Come on, Asher, buddy, let's go! Up there! You got it. Come on. Keep going. [growling] [grunting] [grunting, growling] [grinder whirring] You know, Lonnie, this is gonna be our best year yet. You think, Ed? I do. I surely, truly do. And this could be the year we go statewide. Imagine that. Of course, everyone knows we're already famous, right? Yeah, in Charleston maybe. I'm talking big, Lonnie. I'm talking about getting off the farm. Distribution centers, processing plants, trucking. Shit, I'm talking real big. Big dreams call for big thirst, guys. [chuckles] Okay, what's your pick? Lemonade or beer? [Ed] Don't you think it's a little early for beer? What else are you gonna drink on a day like this, Ed? Cheers, Aunt Nancy. Well, mind if I have the beer, my love? You go right ahead. Lemonade is fine with me on this hot day. How's it looking, Ed? Well, old Creighton did a hell of a job this year with his goats. They're all fat and happy from the kudzu they been eating. About all that old grump's good at is raising 'em. All the negotiating we did? [scoffs] They better be good. Thanks to you, Nancy. Now if Ben Johnson gets any at all, it'll be the least of the herd. [chuckles] Don't you worry about Ben Johnson. His pies can't compare to yours. Not with your secret recipe. [kisses] [Ed chuckles] [up-tempo blues music playing] [kids shouting playfully] Thank you. [Nancy] Thank you. Good bye. [bell dings] [Ben] Hey! Don't buy their pies! They'll make you sick! You'll turn green! Strike three! You're out! Now here's a man only needs one ball, right there! Give it to him! There you go! Hey! - [bell dings] - [cheers] Why don't you two get a room? One time for all! Try tour luck! Try your luck! Who are the men and who are the boys? Try your luck for a dollar! It's the 21st century, you sexist pig. - Give me that mallet! - Big talk for a little lady. Just remember, there's a first-aid tent right over there if you get tired. - [bell dings] - [cheering] Next time, take "big talk" from small girl seriously. See you later, creep. My baby! [man] Whoo! World's going to hell in a handbasket, huh? - If this is hell, book me a room immediately. - [toots horn] [chattering] One time for all! Try your luck! Try your luck! One time for all! [toots horn] Mmm. Watching you made me crave something. Oh, I hope it's meat pies, my sweet. Because I'm starving. Seriously, that really gave me a workout. I demand that we play the hunger games... for I am hungry. [squeals, giggles] Jennifer, Trish, we're gonna get something to eat. Beefcake here must be fed so he can get all the energy he needs if he's gonna ring my bell. - Well, I think we're gonna go take a walk. - Yeah. Ooh, got some games of your own you wanna play. - Wouldn't you like to know. - I'd like to sell tickets. You two were a big hit back there. That? That was the kiddie matinee. We charge a lot more for the "adults only" show. Yeah, sorry, man. - Hey, Kayla, did you say your brother was coming? - I haven't seen him around. He's probably bumming around with Asher and the rest of them short-bus achievers. It would be really nice to have some, um, herbalicious, you know what I'm saying? Uh, yeah. If I see Robbie, I'll let him know you're looking for him. [whirring] Quadoxin, chlorophyll, sample 15 ready. Quadoxin, adversity test. Field drop. Number MW-212. Chlorophyll sample, 15 of 30. All right, are you hungry? I was thinking of going into town, grabbing some grub. Shall I pick you up something? I've got that nice soup in the fridge if you want some. Organic and vegan. Well, finish up. I'll take a look at your notes. Most places might be closed because of that carnival. And there's not much in town either. I guess I'll have to see what the carnies have. Don't linger at the games, Danny, but if you do, bring me back a prize, okay? I'm not that lucky. Back in a bit. You caught anything yet? Hey, we're hungry. Not yet. They ain't biting today. Looks like I got one. It a biggin'. Fire up the grease. - All right! - Whoo! [roaring] [growling] - [blues music playing in distance] -[grunting] Got any that weren't made with peanut oil? - [Nancy] No, sorry. - Thank you. You can never expect the line to be short, but this is ridiculous. Why not visit the booths? Grab a trotskey for my apartment. I'm pretty sure you mean tchotchke. You want me to grab you a pie? Peanut allergy, remember? Ed's always used peanut oil. Sign says so right there. That guy is waving to us, I think. Huh. Uh... Yeah, well, Nancy Nelson says that the peanut oil is a base to their secret marinade, so... Um, yeah, you know, I think I'm gonna go check out some of the jewelry over there. Lon, wanna take a break, talk to her? Enjoy your pie. But... [sighs] No use, Ed. She's with Trent Raleigh. He goes to her college. Serves me right for staying and not following her. Whatever we had before is gone, I suppose. Take a break, Lon. You can try. Still might be sweet on ya. Hey, hey, hey! Hey, Bob, whatcha eatin' there, dude? Come on! Meat pies here! Hey, hey, man, you want a meat pie? I'm not real big on meat pies. Oh, come on, they'll put lead in your pecker. I don't think so, man. Oh, man! You can try it? Well, I don't know, his look okay over there. I think I'm gonna go with his. Thank you. There's an asshole in every crowd. That Ed Nelson and his wife screwed me good this time. How's that, Mr. Johnson? Well, me and Ed let Creighton decide who was gonna get the first pick of his goats this year. Son of a bitch, pissant, motherfucking shitheads! I hope they hear me! Son of a bitch. Fuck me for doing this, but I'm gonna go over there and say something. [groaning] [growling] [growling] [blues music playing] [engine revving] [growling] [roaring] [laughing] [panting] - [rustling] - Do you hear something? Oh. No, I... Sorry. I don't know. It's okay. [giggling] - [leaves rustle] - Trish. I think I saw something. - What? - Yeah, I think somebody... I think someone's over there. - I don't see anything. - No? - Hey! - [grunts, groans] - Robbie! - Jesus, my balls! [Robbie groans] - Come on, get on here! - What is going on? What happened to Asher? He got fucking bitten by an alligator near the creek. Yeah, 'gator! [groans] We gotta get your friend to a hospital, right? That doesn't look so good. Yeah, well, we thought about it, but we didn't need any fucking heat at the moment! We at least need to get him to the first-aid station or something. Are alligators rabid, though? Like, can they contract rabies? No, only mammals can. But honestly, that does not look like any kind of swamp rat or alligator for that matter. You're a doctor? No, I only play one on TV. - [girls laugh] - [coughs] I listened in science class. She's majoring in botany. I'm so proud. We should probably split for that first-aid tent down there. Hold up, boss. My balls! [coughs] We should keep moving, guys. Let's go. But does anybody have any weed, though? - [Matt] Shut the fuck up about weed! - Fine. [growling] [growling] [mayor talking on PA] Welcome fellow Charlestonians! [mayor chuckles] I'm proud to be standing before you to officially open the first day of our fourth annual Mose Allison Music Festival. For the kids, we got clowns and rides and about as much sugar as you can shake a stick at. So, parents, keep an eye on them little booger eaters. [laughs] And for the parents, we got the wine bar and beer garden again this year, and plenty of games of chance. Now, folks, I'm not going to wear you down with words, I am a politician. [mayor chuckles] Go have fun! Those look good on you. Thanks. It's not really my style, though. Maybe Trent will like 'em. Lonnie... you knew I was going away to college. Okay, I can't help that life changes. You mean you can't help that mine didn't? Lonnie, that's hardly true, or fair. I hoped you were doing well. I signed up for business courses online. Things are going really well for Ed. There's a future in those pies. Heck, even my crop-dusting work's going well. Lonnie, I know you'll succeed. You've got a great heart... and brains. And whatever paths we take, I'll always consider you a friend, but... [phone beeping] Uh... It's 911. I've gotta go. We'll talk more? Maybe before you leave? I don't know. Bye, Lonnie. Bye for now. Go to your better life, then. [sighs] Our town is on an upswing. You should be proud of your own hardworking efforts in making Charleston a better place to live. Lucky my ass! You done stole the election from me, you dirty rat! Oh, I never stole nothin' in my life there, sir. - All right. - Yeah, you did! [chuckles] I thought I told you to wait in the truck. - [man] I'll get you later! - Okay. Grandpa at the stage. Somebody come get him. - [laughs] - [man, mockingly] Ha-ha! Yeah! [mayor] If you haven't tried Ed Nelson's meat pies... Mmm! ...you oughta! They are the best in town. Son of a bitch! That son of a bitch! That Ed Nelson? He is indeed. Ha! He is indeed. For years I've been wanting to get that secret recipe of his. You know, I talked to Nancy once, Fred's Super Saver. Talked to her right in front of a case of frozen meat pies. [chuckles] I tell ya. Irony follows me like a cloud. [chuckles] Anyway, we were talking friendly, so I inquired about her recipe. Maybe it was the way I asked... a little too friendly, maybe a little too curious... but she closed up so quickly. Eyes grew cold. [scoffs] I tell ya, they'll never give you that recipe willingly. They probably use a lot of critters, huh? Oh, don't be a fool. They use Creighton's goats just like you do. Must be the spices, then. Hey, hold on just a minute here. - What's your angle? - What's yours? I wanna be big in meat pies. Bigger than Ed "Son of a Bitch" Nelson. And destroy them in the process. And I wanna market your pies. I wanna bring them to the next level. You know, nationally, globally. - Wow. - Yeah. Yeah, I can see it now. A clown. The Colonel Sanders of meat pies. I can see the billboards. With you and a little fat goat. - No! - Once we get the recipe. Yeah! No, I've been trying to get out of this clown business. - I hate kids. - Yeah, well, you don't to like the little kids, but we gonna make the little fuckers fat! We can do it together, but I've got a plan, and you're gonna have to listen to it as long as we've got a deal. All right. But the main thing is, I want to destroy those assholes over there. ...Mose Allison Festival! We are the Truck Patch Revival! Here we go! In a dirt road town ain't nothin' but small Everybody's laid back and we still say y'all [zombie snorts] Hey, buddy, you got a light? Oh, you smell worse than a buzzard on a... - [screaming] - [spits] - [screaming] - [growling] [Truck Patch Revival playing in distance] [Asher groaning] [Robbie] All I'm saying is, he was bit. We shouldn't have been messing around in the swamps. That doesn't look like an alligator did that to him. Robbie, what's wrong? What happened? What happened?! Anybody wanna give me some sort of idea about what's going on? Listen, listen. - We had no idea... - Matt, shut the hell up, man! [groans] Look, guys, he doesn't look so good. He's gotta get to a hospital. You have to tell us what really happened. Robbie, I won't be pissed, I won't tell Mom and Dad. I promise. [Trent] They're gonna ask, Matt... We went... Listen. We went to Creighton's... We went to Creighton's to get some weed. We got there. That motherfucker attacked us. Shit, we thought he was sleeping. All right? And he just... bit... Well, look, the ambulance just left before we got here. Yeah, we can't afford to wait. I hate to end our day this way. He-Man takes the challenge, ladies. I live for this stuff. - Let's get him to my car. - [stomach gurgling] [Kayla] What's wrong, He-Man? Gas, I guess. That meat pie's not sitting right. It'll pass. So about that weed you said you had? Uh, yeah, I got it right here. How much did you want? - How much you have? - How much you want? - I will give you whatever you want. - Oh, my God. [engine revs, stops] Shit. What you want to do first? - I wanna ride something. - I figured after last night, that ass of yours would be tired of riding. My ass is just fine, thank you. - I know. Shit. - [giggles] Stop, baby. Someone might be watching! You let 'em watch. Hell, I'll sell some tickets! - God, I fuckin' love you! - Fuckin' love you! [moaning] [growling] [screaming] Aah! Fuck! [clanking] [clanking] [groans] What's wrong? I don't know. I'm feeling sick. Aah! God! Mein head hurts like hell! It's the worst migraine ever. [groans] I vomited a few times on the way back. Food poisoning. You ate there, right? At the carnival? [groaning, yelling] [moaning] [moans] God, it hurts! Oh, my God, it hurts! [scream echoes] Assuming everything There's not enough room for all of us, so, Robbie, - you're coming with us. - [groaning] [engine sputtering] Damn it! [sighs] Something's wrong! I know cars. My dad's a mechanic. Pop the hood. [blues song playing in distance] [crowd cheering in distance] Man, you're shitting me. When was the last time you got gas, hmm? I filled up before we left. You sure you didn't ride out here on fumes, from all the mist, huh? Trent! How many times did I tell you to fill the tank up? Jesus, Kayla. I did! I did! What, you really think I just planned on this happening? Asher is dying, okay? And we're all just screwing around! [screaming] - Asher! Asher! - Shh! Asher, come on, man. Jesus! It was just a bite, man! The infection, whatever it was, it spread quickly. I mean, look at his skin. It looks like something's growing underneath it. Is he dead? Yeah. Yeah, he's gone. I'm sorry. [clattering] How do you think we're doing today, love? I think we done had our best year yet. Just estimating... - I'd say ten grand, maybe 15. - Whoo-hoo! Ed, just one day alone, and we still got three days to go. [Nancy] Plenty to expand with. [Ed] Gotta watch out for that damn Ben. I think we ought to use that money to expand. I really do. We don't need the recipe to destroy them son of a bitches. You got that bottle? [clatters] [Matt] What's going on? What's happening, man? No... No! What the fuck, man? What the fuck is this? - [screeching] - What is this? [Robbie] What the hell is that? It's kudzu shoots. Oh, my God! I am way too stoned for this shit! [Ben grunts] Hello, Ben. Still pissed about them goats? Listen, Ed. I didn't mean nothing, I swear. Ben Johnson! What in the holy name of God? Snooping around here trying to find something. It was shitty what you two done! I had a deal! Shit! Nancy read "The Art of the Deal." Made Creighton a hell of a one. Trump himself would be proud. Five, ten years, we have exclusive rights to Creighton's finest. But you ain't gonna find no recipe around here... you dumb-ass ingrate! Ed! No! He ain't worth it. [screaming] [growling] What do we do for him? - [screaming] - [growling] - [growling] - No! No, no! [growling] [growling] - [shouting] - [growling] - [growling] - [shouting] Hey! Help me! Help me! - [growling] - [screaming] Oh my God! Asher, Jesus! - [shouting] - [growling] Come on, Asher! Stop, man! You're goddamn vegan, for Christ's sake! Stop! Stop! - [roaring] - What the hell was that? - [crowd screaming] -[muffled music playing through headphones] One meat pie, please. - [growls] - [screams] What in the hell is going on? Please let me go as a matter of professional courtesy. I ain't lettin' shit! - [growling] - Whoa. Whoa! [growling] - Guys! - [screaming] [growling] Aah! [screaming] [growling] [shrieks] [groaning] His illness has left him virtually comatose. I've estimated 40 minutes to one hour since ingestion of possible infected source material. [squelching] [breathing heavily] Dr. Klein's pulse has progressively slowed. I'm concerned that he may go into cardiac arrest. [gasping] [groaning] [weeping] Daniel, no! - [growls] - [whimpers] Daniel! Dr. Klein! Are you even you? If you can hear me... - [growling] - ...I'm so sorry! [grunts] - [growling] - No! [growling] No! No! - [growling] - [screaming] Rest in peace, my brother. What the hell happened to him? He looked crazy! Like... like he wanted to kill you. That thing that attacked that woman didn't look crazy. It looked dead. Asher had no pulse when I checked. That thing that's eating Matt right now? It's dead, too! Look at him! That used to be old man Creighton! Say goodbye, creep! [growling] I thought you were too stoned for this. It's too bad about Matt. He had some tasty herb. Hey, we need to get out of here before more of these dead bastards come at us. Well, they came from the festival. We should get out of town. [both chuckling] Can you move, man? He didn't bite my legs. I can stand. Yeah, but can you run? Hey, guys, I think I found the jackpot. [chuckles] Now we're talkin'. Let's go! - [growling] - [screaming] What in devil's hell is going on in my damn town? This ain't the Charleston I know. What are all the people of my fine town doing to each other, Ellie? [Ellie] It appears to be cannibalism, sir. Shit fire and save matches! I knew this would happen during a damn election year! Why me, Lord?! Why me?! We've got to get you out of here! [growling] [growling loudly] - Hurry! Get in, get in! - Go, go, go! Go! - [gunshot] - [zombie screams] [engine starting] - Wait! - [zombie screams] [groans] - [growls] - [gunshot] - [growling] - Aah! Let the power of rock and roll take over! [growling] [guitar twangs, reverberates] Aw, shit, it's the grocery boy. Let's go. Oh, no! No! Leave me alone! No! No! - [screams] - [growls] [growling] Grab the table. Goddamn zombies! We gotta do something about this. - Can you hold this? - Yeah, I got it. All right. [growling] [Ed] Pass me that lighter. Okay, come on, Ed. It's fourth and goal against Memphis Central. You got this, baby, come on! Take this! Put that table down so I can throw this out! [growling] Let's get out of here. - [screaming] - [growling] Oh, hell no! [growling, cackling] [growling] [cackling] [horn toots] What the hell got to this clown? I knew that, I guess I'd keep it a goddamn secret from you, Ed! You make me sorry I saved your stupid ass. [screaming] [growls] Here's what we gotta do. We gotta make it to Neil's up the street. If I know that old preppin' bastard, he's happier than a dog's balls about this whole thing. Probably sitting in the basement surrounded by maximum firepower. And jacking his AK, sir. Good call. Hey! Chester! Jimmy! [whistles] Over here! Real good to see you fellas. Follow me, stay close. We're off to Neil's army. Come on. Lonnie, take the lead. I'll be right back. Meet me over there. All right. [retches] [grunts] [screaming] [Trent yelling] Kayla! [screaming] - [Kayla screams] - [Trent] Kayla! - Hey, this way! Let's go! - [Kayla screaming] - [screaming] - [growling] Kayla! Run Kayla! [Robbie] You zombie bastard! Are you all right? Bite? No, I'm okay. But what about Trent? Ed! Ed! Help me with this guy! Come on. There's nowhere to go, Lonnie! Everyone, the alley! Now! [growls] [distant growls] This is about a shitty situation we're in! [engine idling] [Ben] Oh, God. See that? [Nancy] The damage can't be too bad. The engine's running. Running down the gas. - [Nancy] Shit, Ben. - [Ben] All I'm saying is, we may have a short trip to wherever the hell we're going. Worth checking out. At least we know the key's in it. Lonnie, where are we going? We gotta get Trent to a hospital. Whatever happened to Asher is happening to him. You're the botanist, babe, what do you think? I don't know. I mean, this isn't exactly textbook. I have an idea. It means heading to the Muni, though. The airport? Why not the hospital, man? 'Cause whatever it is, the answer might be out there. I know a person that might be able to help Trent. Does it have anything to do with the stuff you were spraying this morning? What is he talking about, Lonnie? It could be tied up with the chemical they're testing out there. I want Trent to live. Please help us, Lonnie. [growling] We'll split into two groups. Leave Trent here with Kayla. One group will distract and then the other will... [shouts] [loud rumbling] Is this the change you were looking for, Lon? You damn fool! I said no RPGs, Salvador! We're saving the town, not destroying it! Tell you what. I'll do it. I'll distract 'em. I'm gonna need this, though. - Hey! Come on! I'm over here! - [rapid gunfire] - [horn honking] - [rapid gunfire] [woman screams, cries] Keep aiming for the heads! The heads! [grunts] [grunts] Hey, wait up! [growling] Thank you, Ellie. Don't mention it. - [screams] - No! [Ellie screaming] [screams] [growling] [shouting] [mayor] Oh, Ellie. I'm so sorry. Damn shame, Sam. She was a truly fine aide. A young lady of strong character. And, boy, could she handle a pistol. I swear, I'm gonna kick the undead shit out of everyone of these damn sons of bitches! Mr. Mayor. What can I do for you, son? I need a few of your men for cover. My people are back there, beyond the alley, and they need help now. All right, then. Neil! Take a few of our folks and line up at the end of that street so this kid's people can regroup here. [growls] All right, on the double, everybody! Cal. Go ahead. We need cover fire on the west side of the square. Roger that. [Cal, over radio] Good to go on your mark. - [gunfire] - [growling] [gunshot] [growling] [Ed] Move the van! [gunfire] It's not moving. I should've never given that damn GlobalBio bullshit permission to run them damn tests! [crying] Ellie died 'cause of me! The whole town! I don't know if I can deal with this! Oh, mercy, Lord, mercy! The money they offered me made me happier than Richard Simmons watching "Brokeback Mountain!" And I am ashamed, Lord! I am shamed! Lord, I am shamed and I repent! What's done is done, okay? There's still time to do something, but we gotta get to the hangar. Fukushima and Klein might have the answers we need. At least we've gotta try for Trent and others over there. Maybe this town can come together and really... Be saved! Be saved, yes! Yes! Enough, Lonnie, go on, get going. Look, go see Neil over there. Take my gun and get some more weapons and ammo. Thank you, sir. I just wish a few of your folks might stay. We could use all the living people we can find to help us out over here. We'll need all the help we can get, too. All right, go on, go see Neil. Good luck, ladies. And to you, Mr. Mayor. Got all the luck I need, lady. It's in my very name. Hey, just remember to vote for your friend Sam Luckwood when this thing all blows over, okay? We're ready to go, but we ain't got much gas. Muni's less than four miles out. We'll be riding on fumes if we get there at all. All right, then, let's go. All right, listen up! Okay, men, we have work to do, and we do not have cell phone use. Neil, Jimmy, take a group down that street, right now. Come on, let's go. Salvador, take a group down that way. Cordell, Uri, go find Perr and make a sweep of that whole street. Let's go! [yelling] [growling] [engine sputters] Damn, we're outta gas! [distant growling] You know, before I retired as an RN, I saw a lot of infection. Sepsis. I can't believe he's still alert. - He's a fighter, sweetie. He's a fighter. - [Kayla crying] But that doesn't matter, does it? Because he's gonna be dead! And then he's gonna come back just like those things! He can... he can hear us, can't he? Right, he can hear us, in there, talking all these... these God-awful things about him. He can hear us in there, right? God. Trent! Trent! I don't know what to do! My chest feels like it's gonna explode. Oh, baby! I don't know how to help you! I don't know... I don't know what to do! If you still have feelings for Lonnie, don't deny them. No, I can't. I love you! I love you so... Please. I know you still have feelings for Lonnie. People have different ideas about what they want out of this life, Kayla. Don't deny him your heart. Be happy! - Don't! - No, I love you! Trent! Trent! No, Trent! No! No! No! No! No! - [Kayla] Jennifer! - [growling] Jennifer! [growling] [yelling] Get this slimy son of a bitch off me! Shit! Hold still, old man! Fuck it! Son of a bitch! You wrecked my pants! - Come on, Kayla, we need to go! - No, I... I'll distract the dead ones! Go! Now! You have to! Come on, Kayla! Hey! Ugly! Yeah, you! Come and get me! Take me on! Take me on! - Take me on! - Trent! No! [growling] No! Come on, baby, they're coming. I just don't know if I can get there, Ed. Just remember, honey, I'll always... Shh. I don't wanna hear that talk, okay? It's gonna be all right. I'll make sure of it. [growling] Come on. What you waiting on? Let's go. [groaning] I can't go on. Look at me, Ed. I'm all messed up. I'm dying. What can we do for you, Ben? I'd appreciate it, Nancy, if you just... send me on to glory. I don't wanna come back as one of those cuds of... covered cannibals. Well, you know, Ben, the secret was always in the meat marinade. A little cumin, cracked pepper, sea salt, paprika, mustard seed, a few orange peels. And a dash of JT's Bone Shack Famous Sauce. Hell! Ain't that cheatin', Ed? Here I was thinking you used some kind of exotic meat, like, uh... maybe possum or... hog nuts or... Come on, man. We gotta keep going. [Ben] I'm ready to go. Thank y'all for being so kind to me. Just let her rip, Ed. [gunshot echoes] [growling] [screams] Trish! [screaming] Get the fuck off of her, you creep! Get off her! Are you okay? Are you all right? [zombie screaming] Did he get you? Oh, no! I just fucking cut my leg! Fuck... [groaning] - Come on. - Okay, okay. Hold on. - [screaming] - Nancy! No! [screaming] [rapid gunfire] The airport's just right over there. We can move up behind the helicopter. Ed and Nancy, let's go. [growling] Ease down, Kayla. Relax. It's okay. We're not outta this yet. Save your ammo. There'll be more to kill for Trent's sake. Promise. Let's go, guys. [zombies growling] You got keys for the chopper? No, they're inside. So what's the plan? We can rush it, best we can. - All right, let's go. - Let's go. [growling] [growling] Dr. Fukushima! Dr. Klein! Are you here? Hello? - [pounding] - [growling] [Lonnie] You're all right. No. God damn it. God damn! You did your best, Ed. She loved you so much, Ed. Never a moment when she didn't. She was a real peach. I just don't know what I'm gonna do without her. Oh, my God, your arm. I know. And I... I can already feel it inside me, whatever it is. I need to find Fukushima. If she's here, she might be able to help us and help you. Hello? Hello? Doctors, are you here? Hello? Dr. Fukushima? [clanking] [growling] Sorry, Nancy. [Dr. Fukushima crying] It's okay. It's okay. You're gonna be all right. [zombies growling in distance] And Dr. Klein? He didn't make it. Fuck... [groans] - How much ammo do you have left? - Let me see. Not much. It's okay, we'll be all right. [growling] [grunts] Creep! Dr. Fukushima, I presume? Yes. Doctor, please to meet you under these circumstances. I mean, the entire town's been overrun with these things. Our friends are dead. Any idea how this happened? Maybe you can tell us how it is that the dead can walk around, turning into, I don't know what, plants? Kudzu zombies would be the more technical word. Oh, my God! [laughs] Any ideas, Doctor? The Quadoxin was having the opposite effect of what we intended. It seems to be causing substantial growth in the plant instead, 'causing it to seek out nutrition. Whatever is left here, we can't let it be used. [Ed] You started this damn thing? You ought to be ashamed! Death, destruction, our families! How dare you! How dare you! Ed. She didn't know. I doubt any of them did. Lonnie... there is a way out for you all. Chopper outside. What about the Quadoxin? Destroy it. Ed... is that enough fuel to take this place down? Yeah. Yeah, that'll do it. Take the keys and go. What about you, Doctor? Unfortunately... I won't be leaving this facility. Is there any way to stop the infection? There's nothing. Just escape... for you. No, not for me. Ed, no! You can't stay. I can. Now you all get out of here. Lonnie, you take them, you get out. And don't stop until you get to Memphis or beyond. Warn them, Lonnie. There's still Quadoxin out there. Me and the good Doc will stay here and light this place up. All right? For the good of the town... and for my Nancy. Now we'll do our part. Make sure you do yours. Go now! Out the back exit. Get to the chopper! First let me light this place up. Let's get these barrels. It's gonna be all right, Lon. I have faith. But do me one favor. What's that, Ed? Get out of the meat pie business. It's up and died. Get outta here. [squelching] [growling] [Kayla screaming] Shit. They're not gonna make it. Hey! Over here! Over here! Stay five feet behind the plane! [engine starting] [punches landing] [yells] [yells] Goddamn zombie son of a bitch! [splatting] [grunting] [grunts] Ed! No! No, Lonnie, we've gotta go! Let's get to a hospital this time, Lonnie. Memphis, wherever. Jen needs a doctor. I'm not dead yet. Lonnie, I really want to say thank you. And I'm sorry. For what? Maybe for not believing in you enough? Or maybe for not sticking around here with you? Or maybe for not taking you with me. I never stopped loving you. I know. [rock music playing] I love the smell of Quadoxin in the morning. Are these the results of the latest formulation? Yes, Mr. Blair. Perfect. Absolutely perfect. There's a plant that grows down in the South land Brought in from Japan They hear about it from a man Oh Now it's outta hand It grows a foot a day is what they say Ain't gonna kill it don't matter what you spray Now I'm all ears [growling] [growling] [growling] [grunting] [growling] Charleston, Mississippi, and on down the line Consuming everything in sight It grows high and tall and thick and green You ain't gonna stop it no matter what you bring Oh It's the kudzu vine What were they thinking back in '35 When they planted this evil the kudzu vine Was they out of their minds? The road is covered with trees, hell Covered damn near everything Whoa, oh, whoa Whoa, it's the kudzu It's the kudzu vine stretchin' from Caroline Charleston, Mississippi, and on down the line Consuming everything in sight It grows high and tall thick and green You ain't gonna stop it no matter what you bring Oh, oh, oh It's the kudzu vine stretchin' from Caroline Charleston, Mississippi, and on down the line Consuming everything in sight It grows high and tall thick and green You ain't gonna stop it no matter what you bring Oh, oh It's the kudzu vine I've heard cries and whispers Like a storm up in the pines Seen fires set up on a house Like angry kudzu vines Seen grown men on their knees But that story's old as time It's just the way of the world I've heard every battle Is the one to end all war Seen thousand fall in line And never know what for And still our greatest fear Is just that knock upon the door It's just the way of the world Is there any difference In the sun that climbs or falls? Or in trying to get in or out When facing down a wall? I just know I must get over As somehow must we all It's just the way of the world |
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