It's nice out here huh?
Yeah right.
You want to hit this?
No, I'm good.
What do you mean "you're good"?
This place freaks me out!
Can we get the fuck out of here already?
The tow truck is coming, okay?
I'm sorry I locked my keys in the car.
We don't have any cell phone reception!
It's fucking cold out here! It's hunting season!
I'm gonna take take a piss. I will be back in just a minute.
Will you hurry up!? I don't want to be left here by myself!
I'll be back.
Hurry!
text: "Sex with a donkey"
Eww gross!
noise: "weird animal sounds"
Hello?
noise: "weird animal sounds"
noise: "weird animal sounds"
I'm back!
Don't scare me like that!
I was just joking.
You get so spooked.
What?
I just don't want to be here!
They're coming.
The tow truck is coming.
I just want to be someplace warm.
Oh yeah
Cuddle.
Noise: "arrow impact"
Noise: "scream"
Oh my god! Oh my god!
Noise: "arrow impact"
Noise: "scream"
Noise: "footsteps"
Noise: "audience laughter"
Noise: "audience applause"
Intro carnival music
Music gets louder, faster and punk rock.
What the fuck!
Cut!
Alright guys, that is a wrap.
We're checking out studio space tomorrow.
It came right off!
Can we get an arrow that actually sticks on my forehead?
What'd you think of that last scene?
I think it's stupid.
You think it's stupid? You weren't even watching it!
You're too into your damn phone!
Well, I saw enough to know that it's stupid.
An arrow. Really
Please, please, please park in town
and I'll be by to pick you up in the van okay?
You're just jealous because I couldn't get you in the project.
You gotta learn how to act first.
You can't just become a movie star overnight.
Stick your tongue out again I kind of like that.
Nice take buddy.
Thanks buddy. Thanks.
You hear that?
Super star. That's why you love me huh?
Don't you have a girlfriend in LA?
Look at you cock blocking.
I try to pick up a different girl in every city.
You know there's a difference between picking someone up
and ordering someone. You know?
Picking up sounds better.
Are all those trees dead?
Yes. It's sad isn't it?
Well, come with daddy.
Alright guys, let's get out of here.
We've got a meeting with the studio tomorrow.
I told you we needed freeway visibility!
This place is in the middle of nowhere.
Alright.
I guess we can make it work.
This is after all a future home for
a statue of the great leader of the United States of America.
Oh, and cut down all these trees.
We need to make room for a parking lot.
Alright. Good enough.
I'll start tagging the trees that have to come down.
Thanks. Bye.
Oh, I don't think so!
Excuse me?
I hope you're not planning on cutting down that tree.
Why is that?
I'll tell you why!
You see that nest up there?
Yes.
It's home to the last living
passenger parrot in the whole world.
They estimated, that one time, there used to be
three to five billion passenger parrots.
And then all those Europeans came to
North America and then they killed them all!
That's the last living one
in that tree.
Interesting. Well thank you for the information.
However, I don't give a shit!
You have about 30 seconds to get the fuck off my property!
I have a lot of work to do.
If I see you again, I'll shoot you you!
You hold on right there!
You see this?
Yeah.
I have every legal right to be here.
I have something sign from the conservation office!
Thank you very much.
Look.
I'll be back in the morning with the chainsaw.
If you want that bird to live
you better take it with you.
Because in the morning, that trees coming down.
Don't you worry.
I will stay here all night if I have to.
I will not let anything bad happen to you!
Noise: "parrot squaks"
Noise: "car doors opening"
So this is our studio.
I thought we were looking at more than one?
This place sucks!
This is the only one in town so
Why don't we check it out first?
and then we'll determine
whether it's good or bad. ok?
Alright, lets go?
Hey. Come on.
Noise: "moaning girl"
Noise: "moaning girl"
Hi! Welcome to budget studios.
Ya'll must be the movie crew.
Which one of you is the director?
Yeah, we are here to rent one of the studios.
We need for a film we're shooting.
There's a refundable deposit required
before the tour can begin.
You have to pay that right now.
Talk to my producer.
He's the money guy.
Hey!
Where's the producer?
I don't know man.
Maybe maybe he's making out with that slut downstairs?
Wasn't he right behind you?
It's your boy.
I don't know where he's at.
Why the fuck is she here?
This is my model girlfriend.
As you can see
I bring her to set with me all the time.
She makes me a better actor.
Okay. Okay.
Got the checkbook?
Thanks.
Sorry I'm late.
Where the hell have you been?
I had to get more tapes.
You know I have to get more tapes if I'm shooting BTS.
I hired you to make behind-the-scenes footage.
Turn the camera on and start filming!
You're missing the good stuff!
Turn it on!
I want you covering everything
if I catch you not covering something
you're fired got it.
Got it?
Got it?
Dude!
Let's get this tour over with.
We have a movie to film.
Get a shot of this guy painting.
It makes good behind-the-scenes footage.
Got it.
Jesus. This place is awesome.
I filmed in the studio here before.
The one we're about to see.
Well, I definitely appreciate it.
We're all from LA so we don't know
anything about this place.
No problem.
I love this.
What the hell is that guy doing?
I'm not sure.
I've never seen him around here before.
He must be new.
Make sure i get copies of those photos
Ugh, pervert!
Do something!
This fucking pervert is taking pictures up my skirt.
Sweet! Let me see.
Oh. At least you've got underwear on this time.
Fucking sicko.
Hey cowboy!
Knock it off!
This isn't mardi gras.
Well it seems like everybody's back.
Should we continue the tour?
Let's check this studio out.
This is our largest studio.
Studio A.
This place is huge.
It will be perfect.
What kind of movie ya'll making anyway?
It's a horror flick.
This space is exactly what we're looking for!
We'll take it.
That's great!
So...
When can we move in?
Right away.
I'm going out of town for a few days
but when I get back, we'll settle up all the fees.
Sounds great.
Hey.
I'm gonna run into town and pick up the others. Okay?
Make sure you fill up with gas while you're there.
Ok.
Hey.
Get me a candy bar.
Right.
Wait.
Yeah me too please.
I want some candy.
Make it four.
Here's a $20.
Alright.
So...
Anybody down play some...
strip poker?
Okay.
music
Looks like the rest of the gang is here.
But...uhh...
Everyone left their car in town right?
Yep.
Everyone shuttled in so...
this van is all we got.
If that goes.
We're stranded.
You put gas in the van right?
Shit!
I forgot.
But there's enough gas in here to get us to town so
we'll just send some later pick it up.
Noise: "chainsaw motor running"
If you don't move
we're gonna have some problems.
Come on!
No! No!
Get off!
Somebody call me the cops!
That won't be necessary.
We are live with a breaking story.
A local developer is trying to cut down
the tree which is home to the last
living passenger parrot.
The site will be used as the future home
for a statue of our great leader of the United States.
We'll be covering this story for as long
as it takes.
Back to you studio.
You hang in there buddy.
Keep fighting the good fight.
music
Yeah, I think you got all of it in there buddy.
The generator's out of gas
but the gas can's empty so
what do you want me to do?
Do I look like a fucking mechanic?
I'm fucking talent.
I don't play with gas.
Why don't you siphon it out of the van?
You guys are fucking idiots around here.
Can you please leave?
I can see you in my reflection.
I read the script you know.
I didn't know they had a picture book version.
Well...
I know about the sex scene you have with
my boyfriend.
So what?
He's only doing it because he has to.
it's not like he wants to.
Oh yeah?
Well, I've been fantasizing about it all week.
I can't wait to post all the juicy
details on the internet
pictures and everything.
He's going to love doing this scene with me.
He couldn't enjoy it even if he wants to.
I'm gonna be on set and see the whole thing.
Oh yeah?
Watch this.
Can I talk to you for a minute?
Yeah sure.
What's up?
I'm a little nervous about doing the sex scene.
Can you make sure that no one extra is on set?
Just crew only.
Yeah no problem.
Thanks sweetie!
You're welcome.
You know.
I'm crazy enough to fucking hurt you!
Listen up!
Everyone needs to go outside.
I've got some business to take care of.
NOW!
You too sugar cunt.
What are you doing here?
I'm in charge of building the sets.
How about you?
I'm with him.
You wanna hit?
Sure.
Thanks.
She's a total bitch.
I know why do you hate her?
She called me a whore.
I'm not a whore.
I'm a high-priced call girl.
There's a fucking difference.
What have you got?
I got the newest version of the script here.
It just needs a final scene reworked.
Keep working on it!
What do you got?
Is it any good?
Hey, now you're offending me man.
This is the best shit on the streets right now.
This right here.
Four times as potent as last week.
Open it up.
Stick your finger right in there.
Hey!
Has anyone seen anything...
suspicious?
What do you mean by suspicious?
Someone's been going around town
chopping people up!
How much are we talking here?
Another hundred grand.
I already loaned you $100,000 for this movie
and then you told me you won't even need all of it.
There's been some unexpected costs
that made it go over budget.
Unexpected costs like what?
Cocaine and hookers?
Here's $20,000.
If you don't finish this fucking movie
I'll personally rip your cock off
and then throw it in the freeway myself!
Do i make myself clear?
Yes.
You can pass the word along to you stupid
director friend too.
What the fuck are you doing here?
You two know each other?
Oh Yeah.
This is one of my bitches.
I'm sorry.
Is she for you?
Please tell me
that you're not paying my bitches
with the money I'm loaning you.
I'm getting paid with my own fucking money.
aint that some shit!
Well, just to let you know.
The cops are here.
Not for the drugs.
Someone's going around killing people.
Noise: "girl screams"
What is it baby?
Go look for yourself.
Is it real?
Oh, it's real alright.
Of course it's real!
Look at the sweeping secondhand.
Not the watch!
The severed arm it's attached to!
We've been finding
body parts scattered all over town.
This is the second one today.
We could've used that arm as a prop.
We could use that watch as a down payment.
Listen up everyone!
Someone
or something's
been going around town
killing people.
Stay inside
and keep the doors locked.
If you need to make a phone call, do it now.
The cell tower is going to be out for the next six hours.
maintenance.
It's too late.
They're already dead.
What no cellphone reception?
Looks like you won't be able to post those
sex updates after all.
Tramp!
Slut!
Oh, you can keep doing your bickering
but do it inside.
Keep the doors locked
and if you see anything suspicious
let me know.
Check this out down here.
Prime it six times.
Yeah. Pull choke.
What do you think you're doing?
He was showing me his chainsaw.
It's the best on the market.
Damn straight.
Here's your chainsaw.
No!
No!
Don't you die on me!
NO!
NO!
This just in.
The passenger parrot is dead.
I repeat. The passenger parrot is dead.
This bird was keeping you from
developing your land now that the
species is no longer around
what are your thoughts?
Screw the bird!
I'm just glad I can get back to work.
There you have it folks.
Capitalism at its best.
I was only playing.
He tried to grope me on the last movie we worked on too.
You were wearing a dress.
What did you expect?
Listen! Either he leaves or I do!
It's up to you.
i'm sorry.
You're gonna have to leave.
I can't lose my leading actress
I got dropped off.
I'm gonna need a ride back to town.
Give him a ride back to town.
Put some gas in it too.
It won't start.
What do you mean it won't start?
I don't know. It must be out of gas.
It's no problem.
I'll just
Walk up the road and call a friend.
You're the one that invited him.
Yeah. Well, your pimp is my dealer
and main investor.
You told him i was paying you.
So what!
Deal with it!
He loaned me the money I paid you with.
He's not too happy.
That sounds like
you're losers problems.
Not mine.
Losers?
Why don't you get the fuck out of here!
Writer's going into town.
Why don't you get a ride with him.
Maybe you can make a quick buck while you're at it.
Fuck you.
What the fuck?!
Hey!
Who's in here?
Hello.
Listen.
Are you alone?
Yeah.
What did I say?
I said walk in packs.
Stay in a group.
It's not safe out there!
There's someone killing people.
And chopping them up.
And he will do the same to you.
Yeah, well
tell that to the guy that left me alone.
You show me where he is
and i will show him the law!
What happened to your arm?
Oh!
Nothing
my
my little puppy...
He's got a
bit of a temper on him.
I forgot to give him his medication.
Are you making a call?
It's not gonna happen.
Sorry honey.
Cell towers out for the next three hours
If you would've listened
you would have known that,
Well.
I need a ride back into town
Well.
Did you know I'm a police officer?
I have a job to do.
I have to make my rounds
and if I see your pretty little face
don't worry honey
I'll pick you up.
Sure. Thanks.
No problem.
Be careful out there.
He never shares his drugs with you?
Why not?
OMG
Oh thanks baby.
What's going on in here!?
You gettin' my girl high?
Yeah!
Come on bitch!
This bum is trouble.
I can't believe you'd hook up with that bum.
He gave you coke didn't he?
Did you suck his dick?
You sucked that scumbags dick?
He asked me too.
Did you snowball him?
Well. What do you say we have our own
little party?
I don't want to party with you.
Fine.
Cop should be back soon.
You can hang out with him.
How about me and you have our own little party?
That's a good idea.
You guys ready to rehearse the love scene?
Hmm. We're ready.
Oh. That's right. That's right.
Anybody who does not need to be here
this is a closed set so I need you guys
to leave now.
I need...please. I need you to leave now.
Thank you guys. Thank you.
That's better. Isn't it?
Yeah.
You know I've been fantasizing
about this all week right?
We're gonna have fun.
So how're we supposed to start
just wait for direction or what?
Show me.
Hey.
Wanna see if we can get the van started?
Yeah. Keep it going guys. Yeah.
Cut!
Cut!
What!
Makeup!
Eyelash!
Don't touch that. That is makeup's job!
That's what she's paid for.
Makeup!
Take a ten-minute break
I need to find makeup.
You guys are so unprofessional.
I'm glad my girlfriend ain't here.
Whoa!
Didn't you hear me calling?
Yeah but I was doing something.
Doing something right.
There was an eyelash and
Go and see what the others are doing.
We get a lot of activists types
that try to stop our development.
Most of them are pretty harmless
but every now and then
we'll get a biter.
Have you ever had to kill anybody?
Yeah. We normally take one out about once
a year so but it's mainly just a scare
tactic to get the others to leave us alone.
Have you seen my microphone?
Last time you had was with the activist guy.
That's right.
I'll go get it from him now.
Got it!
Where was it?
Under the activist guy.
Under the activist guy?
What was he doing
No. He's dead.
Looks like something killed him.
Why are you so calm about this?
Well.
If I tell someone about it
they'd probably call the cops.
Then I'd have to do a story on it.
Van's already packed and ready to go.
and I'm off the clock.
He's a human being!
Show some respect!
Did you see what killed him?
No, I really didn't.
I gotta take a piss I'll be right back.
Okay.
That was fun. I had a great time.
What the fuck!
Where did all this blood come from?
It looks like somebody was murdered.
She should turn that camera off!
Yeah, turn that camera off.
What happened?
It looks like someone was "Attacked on Set" ;)
It looks like someone is killing somebody on set.
This is not an accident that's real blood.
We've gotta get out of here.
Follow me.
He was in the...
he was under the sink.
Blood coming out of his nose.
Slow down.
Something killed somebody out in the van.
We just seen somebody dead in the van.
Well the fucking executives dead
under the sink. Overdosed. Dead.
Okay.
Jesus. What's happening?
Will you get her some tissues?
If we all stay inside
There should be no problems.
Okay. So everyone stay calm.
Noise: girl's scream
No! You don't understand.
I just saw him.
He had blood all over him and a mask.
He was fucking freaky.
I swear.
We gotta find a way outta here right now.
He's right.
If we don't we're all dead.
We can't go outside.
We'll be killed.
You were out there filming when they were killed.
Did you see anything?
No, I didn't see anything!
It was dark.
Plus, they started to gross me out.
So I left.
What about the camera?
Did you get any footage of the
killer on the camera?
Yeah.
Come on let's see it.
The battery died.
The battery died.
Why don't you just charge it?
I left the charger at home.
How do you expect to keep filming then.
Shut the fuck up!
We're going to keep doors locked
and we're gonna make this damn movie.
You got it!
Are you fucking losing your mind?
People are getting killed
and you think we're gonna keep making a movie.
Yeah buddy. Just so you know
this movie isn't getting finished.
You're crazy.
Shut
the fuck up!
you stupid motherfucker.
I hired all of you to make a movie
and that's what you're gonna do!
got it?
Do you know who the fuck I am?
I will stab the fuck out you right now!
You see that?
That?
Seriously?
Fucking that?
Craft services bitch.
Don't be scared of this fucking idiot.
Fuck your knife!
I have a gun!
Where'd you get a gun from?
Don't take this shit!
Fucking stab that asshole!
Oh my god!
You shot me you asshole!
FUUCCCKKKK!!!
I thought you're a better person than this.
I can't believe I made love to you.
I knew you were a hack!
I thought this movie would be different
but its total shit!
Just like everything you've ever made.
I can't believe it.
I can't believe he blew his head off.
I'm just glad he didn't make us finish the movie.
We've gotta get outta here but the van is out of gas.
The generator
What about it?
The Set dresser.
I told him to siphon the gas into the
generator
all we gotta do is get the gas out of
the generator back in the van and we can
get out of here.
That's great!
Go get the gas can fill it
up I'm gonna stay back here and get the
van ready okay?
I'm gonna go with her to get the gas.
Go follow them in case they need help.
Looking for some wires?
How you like them wires?
Noise: girl screams
Oh my god!
Are you okay?
What happened?
I'm trying to help.
We have service.
We have service. Yes.
Yes. Yes.
I love you.
I wanna fuck you.
What the fuck!
I saw her run and knew you needed my help.
I wasn't going to let that little girl
spoil our fun.
You know the thing i hate most
about killing all these people?
What?
Having to wait two days
before I can fuck them.
I can still sense the soul.
Until they're all the way cold.
These silly little twats
don't have souls.
Besides
you have your new masterpiece.
I knew I could bring you enough people
to finish it.
I love you baby butter.
I love you beast.
May I?
I fucking love you.
I'm just going to hurt you.
What's the big deal?
Are you just gonna sit there?
That's more like it.
Hey! Do you like my beast's cock?
Enough already!
Get on with it.
I'm gonna shove my cock in you fucking hole.
Oh. Babe.
Don't be sad.
Why so blue?
He's got big
plans for you.
All you gotta do is die first.
Shut the hell up!
Kill her
and come on and get fucked.
Okay.
Hey.
Looks like justice just got served
again.
I heard the screams and
came out of my drug induced coma
I knew something was wrong.
Then I
found out that the cellphone service that come
back on
and called the police.
Sorry could have been there sooner
rape is a very
very hard thing to go through.
At least
he's gone
forever.
Noise: Crying baby
Someday.
you can grow up to be just like
your daddy.
Looks like justice just got served again
again.
Thanks for watching. -tom novell