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Aziris nuna (2006)
Aziris Nuna
It did it again. Good morning, Kostik. Good morning, chufufihiha. Where do you know these words from, you son of a desert jackal? Wait a moment, Im a desert jackal? Forgive me for the chufufiha, Mom, I found it in the Ancient-Egyptian textbook, it means "archaeologists wife". It's cool, right? In ancient Egyptian that sounds like Chufufe and Viha. Work on your pronunciation, son. Vuefiha? Practically, it's better than desert jackal. Hello? Yes, it's me. It cracked in front of you? And what's inside? Metal? Impossible! No, dont tell anybody for now. Yes, Im coming now. Looks like Dad is about to invent something again. See, the other archaeologists do what they are supposed to! They dig up skulls and flower pots but he wants to trace extra-terrestrial civillizations! Breakfast, boys! Galya, let's discuss something while the kids aren't here. Just dont get nervous, I think this is important. Kostya. Just dont tell me you found an ancient space device. How do you know? Well, you keep finding them all the time. Where this time, if not a secret? Tell me, what do you know about the sphinx head in the museum storage-room? It was found in Egypt, 2 centuries ago. Galya, wait. And you sit. Sit yourself. The museum warden just called and told me that the sphinx head started cracking. Seems like such a great invention! Dont be so quick to make fun of me, inside there is... Something made of metal! What? That. And what do you plan to do? What do you mean what, we take a chisel and hammer and go to break its head. Wait, you are a scientist, not some kind of vandal. You understand that this head is several thousand years old. And whatevers hidden in it, as you know, is as old. Dad isn't right! A spaceship. Thats right! At the end, even if it's not a spaceship. There are no such finds in archaeology. Be more quiet, the kids are here. Wipe yourself off. You can start eating, me and Dad will go by the museum. Yes, we have soemthing to do there. But today is sunday! And the park? The cinema? - No. You promised! - I'm sorry boys, but not today. Well... If we promised. Ok, eat breakfast, get dressed and hurry up! Come on, quicker, before we change our decision. You are always like this! Seryoja, lets do it Monday! At least think where could it be? Where? By the way I know where mom and dad hide the storage keys. Dad said that in the storage room they brought for restoration the mummy of Nemenkhotep IV. And you know what mummies look like. Oooh. We are scared already. Yeah right. Dont be scared. Youll be with me. I wonder how can a man be restorated. Hes not a man, hes an exhibit a mummy. Like Lenin. Cool. I think we are done for today. Ok, repeat your Ancient Egyptian, brush your teeth and to bed. What? Let's do the Ancient Egyption tomorrow. I think we overdid it, Galya. It's ok, theyll need it in life Ok, go. Stop. How do you say in pharaoh language "good night?". Aziris nuna, mom. Aziris nuna, dad. Aziris nuna, kids. Im the mummy. You dont look like it. I got the keys from the storage. So, nuna? Nuna! Hey, dont shine on the pharaoh! Should we go home? Why do you behave like a kid? You want me to turn it off at the most interesting part? Just dont get scared. Oooh! A little hole. What are you doing, cant you help me? You stand here, and I here. You think it will? Yes, I know what Im doing. Come on, 3... We must... We have to go, Thats it! Wait, I forgot the flashlight. I told you, dont get scared. Ok, and whats this button for? It works! Come in here. Its so cool! The mummy came to life. Enough already, ok? Wheres your mummy? Well... If... Dum dum. Bravo. My school. You think we just imagined it? Hallucinations or our eyes lied to us? What was that? We have to ask you! Dunno. We have to... find our way around. Theres an eye next to this button! Might be illuminators? You found em once already. Let's see. The Earth. Now what we did. The Moon. Mommy! Yes. Space is a cool thing, straight away you start feeleing like a particle of the Universe, like a chromosome or an atom! Do you really know what you said, eh? Philosopher! Look! Theyre saving us already. Maybe aliens? Thats right, bro! If they kidnap us, We shouldnt tell them anything. Yes. Especially about that spot under the bed where you have a strategical storage. Not about this! Whos there? We have to try to open the door. It might not? Like this. Pull yoourself together! Well... Hi, little ones! I love meeting ancient civillizations! What? Hi! Are you russian? We thought you were aliens. What are you talking about, little one, you are Russian aliens. And Im the translator here, because they dont dig a word of Russian! Hey, the little ones, they chatter in Russian. Well, what do you expect? Theyve been living in Russia. Ive been dreaming to learn the language of Tolstoy and Dostoevski. Ok, in short, little ones, So I dont have to translate all the time and you to wonder how to answer, here. Teaching linguotablets, put em under your tongue And in 2 secons youll be chattering The Anyland language, just like me. Enjoy your meal. Welcome to our sector. The central one. Let me introduce myself. Boss of reality defence deprtment, General Kubatay! Commander of security patrol service, Major Ayna. Translator of the contact section of the reality defence department, Captain Smolyanin! Kostya, namely Konstantin. Stanislav, namely Stas. Excuse me, but how do we let our parents know that we are here. Yes, because theyre worried! Your parents are gone since a long time. I meant to say that, relating to our time, they are in the distant past. Its 2506 now. And you can say that we are your distant heirs. Stop, stop! What do you mean? Our parents are gone now? Now I will... You mean, we came here with a time machine? So we can go back to the past with it? Thats a secret of universal importance. Boys, you havent eaten for almost 500 years. Yes but... No "buts", its already served! Captain Smolyanin! - Yes Sir! Start now. Your attention, please First... Whats this? Whats going on? Whats this mess? Who is this? This is Shidlo. He was already threatening to hit our station. Shidlo? Scrawny cat! Yes sir, its on line now. What? In the name of the sphinx civillization we want the kids back in our paws! Is that an ultimatum? Hey, dont wake the the beast in me! To me, general Kubatay? Stop it now! You, Shidlo, are behaving, how to say, provocatively! What did he say? He said that... What? That about me?! Outrageous! We want to close the time hole, by bringing the kids back to 21st century! Time travel is forbidden, they will stay here! Excuse me, are you serious? Captain, the hand! - This one? What are you up to, bastard? Now I will... you know what I will do to you? Smolyanin! Calm them down! Take the little ones to the sleep sector. Boys. Dont be mad at our general, hes been doing the hardest job for a cenrury now, worse than him is only... OK. The thing is that if someone goes to the past, the whole world will be gone. Why? Its enough someone to go back to the past and boom, the whole world will blow up. It will burst like a baloon that was pumped too much. The extra voulume will destroy it. Boys. I know how hard it is for you and you... look so much like my kids. And I... Good night. I won't leave it like this! Open up! Major, the department decided To destroy the chronoscaph right away! But, general! No "buts"! Do it! This is your home, boys, youll live here. Here? Theres everything you need to live happily. This is a macromulti-game-station. Here are gathered the games of all times, nations and civillizations. These are visualizers that connect the thoughts with the virtual world. It's enough to think of something and it becomes reality. But please, dont lose your mind playing. Remember who you realy are. So. I have to go. So? Come on, catch up! And I was thinking what I have there! You hear me, Kostya? Well... Kostik! You hear me? Wake up. Wake up, bro! I am a pilot! I am a pilot. What did they do to you? I am a pil... Now I will... Remember, bro! Come on! Were are we? In prison. Forever. And theyre zombifying us. Here. We have to do something. Beore they start again... Come on. The second one. Whos here? Hi, kittens. Shut up, I am Shidlo. Dont be afaid, I am your friend. Aha, hello. We dont like the local pals too much. I will help you go back. And how exactly? She just felt bad about you. Risking her life she disobeyed the department and saved the chronoscaph. With her help I succeeded to get in this space prison. Like this. But well, you aren't lying? - Me? If I lie I become a dog! Yes and then? We, the sphinxes, want to send you back home, to prove to the people that a time loop exists, this way... Why did you ask him, eh? ...and we could travel in time. And who are you? Let's be friends, eh? We are from Venus, of course! The sphinxes have their own civillization, this and that, in short! Ayna is waiting by the gate. But Kubatay might find this out any moment now. Are you ready to fly with me? Of course yes! Then leave your dirty things. And to the gate! Let the adults have a word for a moment. Kitty, come here! Easy! Why are you sitting? Lets go! Ayna, thank you! We found out who we are! This is for your kids. Let them play real games. But be careful, it's real. Thats it, boys. Hurry up, maybe well meet again. Dont be bored, kitty. Ok, let's get out of here! Shidlo. And what's going to happen with Ayna? My brothers the sphinxes Will send her with her kids to Venus today. You see, Ayna always wanted to live among us. And on our planet no dog would ever mess with her! Kubatay calling Shidlo! Bring the little ones back now! The sphinxes wont like this! No way! What? Ill block you! I give you 30 seconds! Im sick of it! So, kittens, let's time travel? Are we already in the past? But this general... Somethings broken. It has to be fixed. I dont get it. When we are. You meant "where". I know where. Theres Earth. But its not clear what time. Ok, we start landing. Well see whats going on there. Let's go. Where are we anyway? And what time? I won't be surprised If a tyrannosaurus jumps out of somewhere. Like he needs you. Wouldve been cool. Can we make a fire? But we have to get some timber. Take these revive-bracelets. Revive? - Wear them. They fix any wounds, heal any diseases, resurrect the dead. Look here. It's easy to use them, so, this thing with the button is a remote, if you pushed it you are alive. All clear? We are good? Ok, I will go fix that thing. But take it easy, so your hands dont get too hot. Ok, your turn. I will... Yes... so you keep working and working, you dont stop and only in such moments you understand, how close you are to nature, the primitive instincts awaken. I would like something... like this. What? Different. With our dad, we went often outside the city, made a fire, grilled sausages. Hey, kittens stay here quietly, Im coming in a bit. Whats up with him? His primitive instinct mustve waken up. He answered the call of nature. And here, when is it going to start to... to wake up. When it's time. A cat. Big and black one. Female. It didnt see me. And then? Well... - Black one? Thats a panther. Stop! Its a mammal, So there are no tyrannosauruses here. What did you say a panther? Yes, a predator from the cat family. Cats huh? So they have the same chromosomes as ours. And its possible that theyre making sphinx-panthers or panther-sphinxes for us. I doubt it. In your bed! It's time for you to sleep! In the chronoscaph! No way! - You sound like Mom! Here I'm your Mom and Dad! And you? Ill sit here for a bit! But she wasnt bad, interesting. But stupid. Funny. Enough, bro. They are all like that. - What? No, nothing. Well go find food. Some fruit. But dont go far. And Ill start doing the repair. Funny! Yeh, to die laughung! I dont really like it. Enough. Come on, bro, there are no tyrannosauruses here. What if the panther appears, or savage people? - Savage people, there's only savage nature! People! Eh? Take a break! There are your people. Check out their spears! The points are iron, so they aren't savages. So they are good smiths. Hello, brothers in mind! You hear? He speaks Ancient Egyptian. Well... So we are in Ancient Egypt? Cool! Rummage the savages! We aren't savages, why are you acting like kids? Then who are you? Servants of the dirty Seth? You are... Excuse me, we are visitors from the future. We are hmmm, servants of the good god Aziris. I'm the one on which steps the left sandal of Nemenkhotep IV, when hes getting off the chariot. Nemenkhotep? But we know him! Hes lying in our museum! Well, who doesn't know the great pharaoh! Son of the gods, Nemenkhotep IV. Tie them up tighter. Son of the sun, the earthly incarnation of Chor. Ruler of Lower, Upper and every Egypt, the great pharaoh Nemenkhotep IV. Thats how this museum rag looks like! Wait, bro, when we go back home Ill get all the dust out of him. And who are you anyway? And what do we do with you? We mmm... Me and my brother are Aziris servants. And you have to let us go. Aziris is waiting for us at the Nile bank. And hes probably mad already. Aha. And what do my counsellors think? Oh, pharaoh! I am Ashiri, your counsellor from the North. Even if the white aliens arent Aziris servants, we ought to treat them with honor and let them go... just to be safe. Oh, pharaoh! I am Bopa! Your counsellor from the sunny South. Before you kick these impostors out, you have to whip them in the dark, of course in the name of Aziris. I kind of liked the first version better. Well do this: for now well put them in a dungeon, and tomorrow... In the day of my wedding with the wonderful Haline. We will sacrifice them. Of course in the name of Aziris! Ok, and whats next on the program? And now the forecast! Throughout all Egypt the weather will be marvellous! Not so much rain at Upper Nile, and at Middle and even Lower Nile, will stay a steady sunny and wonderful time! With daily temperature of +30, and during the night not lower than +20. Only to the East, along Red Sea, there might be some North wind. And to the West, closer to Libya, a south wind From Africa will direct towards our enemies. And will throw dust into their eyes! Finally. It's all your fault. What is it? This! Who took the storage key? Oh yes? Now Ill... You will what? This! Hi, boys. So, you work here? No, I'm the Pharaohs fiancee. And I decided to take a look at you You are so funny. Ah yes, to die laughing! Fiancee! Are you 18 yet? You think youll cheat us? Why is he like this? Dont pay attention to him. Usually hes normal. Excuse me, but would you help us escape? Ah yes? Oh, boys, I'm not his wife yet. And when Ill be, youll be boiled already. We have to run. If I could... Nothing. Tomorrow youll be the pharaohs wife, Youll have a lot of servants and clothes, treasures and all that... Shut up! Do you think I want to get married? Nemenkhotep ordered to bring all girls to the palace. Looked at me and chose me! Since then I haven't seen either Mom or Dad. They burnt them. Why? Because Dad was a common working man, and Mom, a wife of a common working man. The pharaoh can't have common relatives. It's ok, soon Ill meet them, the pharaoh is very sick and soon will die. And with him to the Kingdom of the Dead will go his servants and of course, his wife. About the Kingdom of the Dead, you are very wrong. Maybe they will heal him? None of the doctors could, The ones... that were in Egypt. Were... And can you have a talk with the pharaoh? Tell him that in your dream appeared Aziris! And told you, that we are his servants. And we can heal the pharaoh. Really? With the help. Of these devices. The special bracelets. Ok I will tell him, but he wont believe. Then, he will die. Where could they be? Im so sad! I would like to look. What do you think, will she tell him? Dunno. You know how the beautiful ones are. And she is really beautiful. Theres one more bridegroom. Ok. My bride saw Aziris in her dream and told her that you can cure me? She told him. I wanted to sacrifice you, but I can change my mind if... - We will cure you! You have to put these bracelets on. After that I will say a special spell and be healthy! We can even cure a dead man. Ok then. Before you start my cure, you go in the caldron! You! And youll resurrect him. If it works, you will cure me, if not. Well watch you boil after him. You know what? Take mine too. One of them should work for sure. And you? What, bro? Do you remember how I cut my leg, when... Enough! Ok, come on. Come on, bro. And whats this for? Do you want to eat me? Not us, the gods will eat you. See, son, this is the gods sacrificial caldron. I beg to differ! Egyptian brothers! A day will come when you... Enough! Enough! Enough! What's there? Let's not distract! My fault, sorry. Let's forget the past and be friends. I'm not sure. Excuse my unbelief! Devoted son of Aziris! Lets start the cure. The cure is off! But why? Just like that! You insulted these devoted servants of the very Aziris! You made my brother boil in a soup! Now you have to dive into the caldron! Enough nonsense, dear. The spell wont work then. And how is the spell? What did they eat there? - Sweets... You see. But you dont want. Now Ill go into the caldron, and that one has to resurrect me. If he doesnt do it. With both of them... Ill feed the crocodiles. Haline! Come on! Take it off! - What? The hat. Haline! Im coming to you! So, Ill be a priest instead of you? And youll be... - Of course! Why did you insult the kid? Are you talking to me? Yes, you! Is this really your business? Be happy! People of Egypt! The bloody tyrant Nemenkhotep is dethroned! And now the pharaoh function goes to me! What a joy! - Is it clear?! Catch the traitor! Kill him! A typical palace coup! North, after me! South, after me! Whats going on? The time stopped. Hi. You hear? Hello, kittens! I pushed the chronobreak and stopped the time, well... for some time. And why can we move? Because we are from another time. And now quick in the chronoscaph, to stop the time energy is wasted and we dont have much left. Shidlo, we have to take another passenger! No! No other passenger. If we dont take Haline! Who is that Haline? The pharaohs fiancee, theyll bury her with that evil old man! Alive! Are you serious? We turn into dogs if we lie. And wheres that Haline of yours? Right there. Couldnt you do lower? Lets go princess. Bye, see you! See, we meet, boys. And you were saying theres no Kingdom of the Dead. Quiet. Ill explain later. But first let me introduce you. Shidlo, this is Haline. Haline, this is Shidlo the sphinx, hello, kitty! Oh, come on. Hes cool! Im the dumbest cat in the universe. The chronoscaph doesnt have enough energy to return to the past and close the time loop. Its probably because of me? Extra load. The energy is enough only to bring you to your time. And what happens if we throw away the extra weight? Better leave me somewhere on the way. But Haline is right. If we leave her 20 years before our time, then the saved energy will be enough to bring you home, and for me to go back to the past. 20 isnt that much! Ill find you in your time for sure. True. But well have to wait a long time. To you these years will seem just a moment. If you wish, she could find you even today. Ok, lets hurry. We are approaching your time. So? Where do we land? Somewhere with mild climate. Some place warm and sunny, like Egypt. Tashkent. Thats right! You are really good. Farewell, sphinx. Thank you. Ciao, kitten. See you. Bye, Haline. See you today. Actually, I totally forgot that there are all kinds of dangers awaiting you here. In a case of threat, heres a mummifier. You have to point it towards your enemy and push this button like this and its ready. - Ready? It's time! Hurry up! Farewell, Haline. Were here, kittens! And wheres your house? Here. Shidlo. A bit to the left. Right here. To stop the time for some time. Farewell, Shidlo. Thank you for everything. You are a real sphinx and friend. Oh come on! Well, the time loop is closed. Im going home. Ciao. Ehh, Shidlo. - What? This is for you, bro! To remind you. Bye. Shidlo started the time. Lets go home. Careful not to wake anyone up. Wow, Kostya. Is that me? - Yes. Shidlo said that well return a bit before our time. We are so stupid! I wish I couldve caught up and kicked myself. Everything is meant to be, bro. We couldnt have done other way, its fate. Wait, we have to go to the left. What left? The left left, its shorter like that, come. Kostya! What are you doing there? I can't ever find the reviver remote. Go to bed! Ok, where have you really been? Dad! In the head from the museum, theres no spaceship, But a chronoscaph, in other words, a time machine. We were in the future, also in the past. In Ancient Egypt. We boiled Nemenkhotep up and met Haline, but had to leave her in Tashkent, because the energy wasnt enough! Ok, I knew that the ancient egyptian lessons wouldnt lead to anything good! Go to bed! Ill call an ambulance. Enough! Enough teling the truth. What warden? The head, yes. What? What do you mean just pebbles? No! Dont call the cops, Im coming now. Yes, right away. Get up! The museum warden called, the capsule is gone. What happened? That... Ok, in detail then. Ok, Kostya, begin. So. Like this. Wheres the pharaoh? Then he flew away. Flew away? Flew away. In brief, Dad, do you believe us or not? I do! but no one else would, even Mom. Theres no proof. If the time machine existed, its already gone. Theres the museum and the warden waiting. Were coming with you! Usually in such case they say "no"! OK! Well go through the window! Not to wake Mom up! Ivan Stepanovich, whats going on here? Who tied you up like this? Ill untie you. Hurry, in! Untie the warden and stay here! And I will take care of the exhibit! Not boiled enough! Thank you, Aziris! You made me invulnerable! We have to turn the revivers off! Kostya, where did you put the remote? Dad, where did you put that thing you found in our room? I dont have time to look for it now! Dad, can you remember where it is? Hell make the pharaoh vulnerable! I put it in your shirt pocket! Haline! Receive! Galya? Mom! I told you That well meet today. Haline? But you are our Mom? Dad! Thats Haline! I told you that well meet! Galya! |
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