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Baby's First Christmas (2012)
(radio host) It's Christmas Eve, and you know what that means,
time for everyone to embrace the joy, the hope, and the faith in their lives, to be at peace with each other, and of course for all our listeners out there: the arrival of-- the Christmas Baby. Gentlemen, it is already Christmas. I'm begging you, as your lawyer, please do not takethis to trial. If you do not fight this,the long-term damage will be far greater thanthe short-term gain. Can you imagine whatyour competitors will do once they get theirhands on disclosure? The specter of a congressionalsweetheart deal married with the potential of insidertrading, all completely untrue. Interest over ego. But if you don't defend it, thenyou might as well be guilty. All people willremember is the... Long-gain! Short-gain. The long-gain! The short-gain! The long-gain! The short-gain! Congratulations,congratulations. You made theright choice. Oh,aha sorry. Merry Christmas,Jenna. You think you'reso smart. No. Do you know whythose guys fell my way? You think you'Because they wantso smart.their money today. Not tomorrow when their companyhas been bought, dismantled, and sold six times over beforethis could have been litigated. You like the longfights so much, you should have goneinto environmental law. For once I agreewith you, Kyle. And for your information,I accepted a position at an environmental lawfirm in San Francisco. And for your information,Really?I accepted a position When doyou start? First of the year. So-- Merry Christmas,Happy New Year. You know I've alwayshated Christmas. You just gave me a greatreason to celebrate. Merry Christmas,Jenna. Merry Christmas. ...Uh, little bit of both.I threw it while I kept it. There's mybrother. Talking to my sister. Hi. Hey. Hi.--Sorry Hi. Hey. Nice to see you.Hi.Good! Oh, perfect. Well it was really nicemeeting you, Trish. Likewise, Jim. Yeah...maybe I'll seeyou at the punch bowl. For sure! Yeah, I don'tthink so. (Whispering)I like him! I'm gonnabe sick. I'm gonnabe sick. Ugh. Ugh.I know-- If it weren't for him youwould have never met. If it weren't for her youwould never have met. I'm just so glad I don'twork with him anymore. Oh, by the way, I'm notsitting next to her Christmas morningon the couch. And if he so much as starts withthat conservative agenda... I am not gonna beresponsible for my actions! I mean the manlives in a bubble. You shouldn't let Karen be alonewith her, unless you want your daughter turning into a feministwho never wears a bra or shaves! Enoughabout him. I'm very excitedto see you guys and I can't wait tomeet my nephew! I'm excited to see you guys andI cannot wait to meet my nephew. (P.A.) Ladies and gentlemen a special cancellation announcment, all passengers on flight 403... Oh, come on! Oh, come on! You've gotta You've gottabe kidding me. be kidding me. I'll call I gottayou back. go. Hi. Hey. Hello? Hello? Ugh, Trisha? Did you talk toyour brother? Yeah. He just abruptly hung up. (Sigh)Same with my sister. Is it a mistake having themboth here for the holidays? Ugh. Yes. I mean...No.Ugh. It's Christmas. It's about family, even ifthey are polar opposites. Last Christmas they spenttogether, I swear, I saw the dog and the cat working togetheron an escape plan. When aunt Jenna anduncle Kyle get here, are they going to playthe silent game again? If we're lucky. Jim! What? They're suchstress balls! Well, you know,they're older now, Karen. And maybe they've...mellowed out. No? I don't know. So-- Let me get this straight,you can't get us on a flight until tomorrow,and that is a maybe? Yes and asking fifteen times isnot gonna change the answer! Next please! I'll handle this,counselor. Excuse me,I uh... I was on that New York flightas well, and uh-- Well... You can probably findus a couple of seats on a later flight ormaybe just one for me. I heard that. I'm sorry, Sir,unfortunately there are no flights untilthe weather clears. Listen, Audrey,that's a beautiful name. Did I mention that, uh,I'm a platinum member? Can't we just worksomething out? Sir, it is an icestorm out there, okay? We will notify you as soon asa flight becomes available. But-- Take your platinum as soon asmembership cards available. and enjoy theadmiral's lounge. Next please! Lady-- Next! The ice storm hasfrozen your heart. You've lost allof my sympathy. Seriously, you thought yourplatinum status would matter? Well, it hasin the past. You have fun. I'm driving. Wait, Jenna! At the risk of this being theworst idea in the world... Stop-- It alreadysounds bad. We could split rental,and take turns driving. No, no... That is theworst idea in the world. Oh, come on...It's gonna takeyou three days to get there. If we take turns and alternatewe can get there in a day. By Christmas Eve,huh? No-- I...I... Ugh... Okay. But no smoking. I quit. Well, I weara patch. And nopolitics. From youeither. And none ofthat rap music. It keepsme awake. Try coffee. No countryeither. What aboutTaylor Swift? She's like more ofa crossover artist. Then I getKanye. No country,no rap. Fine. (radio) Christmas is almost here and you know what that means: the arrival of the Christmas Baby. Ugh. the arrival of the Christmas Baby. (Singing) Sleighingsong tonight, Jingle bells, jingle bells,jingle all the way. Oh whatfun it... It's not that funny.You could drive. (Singing) ...one horseopen sleigh, hey!... Why do peoplealways say "hey"? It's not a Russian weddingor a Bar Mitzvah. Because Christmas isfun and you're not. You haveno idea! Oh, really? Really? All right. Okay. Do you like decoratingthe Christmas tree? Oh, please, putting astring through popcornOkay. is not myidea of fun. What about watchingChristmas movies? Everybody loves'It's A Wonderful Life'. I'd prefer whenit's over. Are you serious? You are aScrooge. You're anythingbut fun. That's not true. In college theycalled me "K Fun". I remember this one time Ihad these three blondes... Stop-- I don't wanna hear aboutyour glory days, thank you. New topic please. Whatever. What do you thinkthey're gonna call the kid? Well, I know what they'renaming their child. How doyou know? Because I take an interest in mybrother and your sister's lives. I'm interested, I'm just alittle more busy than you. I mean,I have a life. Um, besides I--I... I don't do wellwith babies. When Karen turned three,I was okay because she was like thislittle person. But babies, I mean theypoop and throw up... Christopher. His name isChristopher. How can they name hime isafter that deadbeat?pher. That is an awful thingto say about your father. Oh yeah? Till my mom was gone, his ideaof Christmas was bring us to the casino and letting usplay with that little plastic bucket that he used tohave his tokens in. Kyle, that was the past, I meanyour dad has totally cleaned up since then, and Trish hasbeen able to forgive him. So, whycan't you? Too little,too late. You know what it's like to haveyour father show up drunk at your graduation? People should haveto get a license or at least certifiedto have a kid. Do you know how many peopleI know who have them just to fill that emptyvoid in their life? Selfishly makingsomeone to love them who ends up hatingyou anyhow. Wow. That's cold. Do you reallybelieve that? Absolutely. Babies are hope. You know? The future. Yeah, whatever. You ought to write oneof those self-help books. Please tell me that you haveone good Christmas memory. Just one. One Christmas all Iwanted was this train. That's all I cared aboutgetting, this stupid train. And he has to buy me tenscratch-off lottery tickets, none of them winners,by the way. (sigh) You know what? It's Christmas. It's timeto forgive. People can change. You've watched way toomany Christmas movies. You do know, right?That your father's coming? Yeah? Well, we'll makeawkward small talk, get through the day andgo our separate ways. get through the day andMmm okay.parate ways. I want to usetwo hands. Yeah. Mmmhmm. Not the hat...Not the hat... Frosty...Frosty's right. Of course, she's dreamingabout Christmas. (Yawns) Thank you. Hey!Thank you. Hey! Oh, amazingtiming! We just called a cab,but can we take your rental? Sure--Yeah, Is she...(Gasps) Mom's water spilled! That's broke,honey. The contractions aresix minutes apart. That's broke,Okay, babe.honey. Okay, okay. Move--Let's go! Hey guys! Hi! It's good tosee you. Oh, oh, uh... Karen-- Can youguys watch Karen? Yes! Want us tocome with you? No, I'll give you ashout from the hospital. There it is. Okay, bye. Good to see you.Thanks man. Be careful with the interior,we didn't get the insurance. What--Really? MerryChristmas Eve! I mean it! Maybe you should put atowel underneath her. Really?Seriously? Hi, sweetie. Hi, sweetie. Mom and dad let meopen a present early. Yeah? I got a Barbie manni, pettisalon! Do you wanna play? Oh Barbie... I don't know... Here we go. Barbie promotesmaterialism and unrealistic bodyexpectations... And thereit is. That can lead toeating disorders. What's an eatingdisorder? Uh...nothing. Your aunt Jenna would behappy to have her nails done. Obviously shecould use the color. Hey! It's true. Besides, Barbie is theultimate independent woman. Does your father have abottle with a pirate on it? Like Jack Sparrow? Exactly likeJack Sparrow. I don't know. I'll look myself. (basketball game playing on television) No-- No, no, no,no, no. What the--? Karen! What's upwith your tv? Uh, I don't know. Awe, I have twohundred on this game! He means twohundred percent, high hopes that histeam will win. No! Karen, I mean I have twoishundred hard earned dollars that I set aside so that I cangamble on this basketball game. So you can betmoney on sports? Yeah. Uh, that wayeveryone can play. Your uncle Kyle isjust kidding sweetie. Are you crazy? You trying toturn our niece into an alcoholic gamblerbefore she's ten? Well, at leastshe'll be fun. You need tolighten up. Excuse me? Oh, come on. Do you remember everyfactoid you were told when you wereseven years old? Weren't you just tellingme about some "factoids" about a certain gambling,drinking father last night? This is totallydifferent. Is it? I don't have myaccount number. This is my sister'splace, I um.. I just uh... I wanna see theClippers game. Can you getit back on? It's on the bill? Okay, um,let me go check. Let me see ifI can find it. Uh yeah... Here we go. So, are you excited tomeet your baby brother? I sure am! It's a lot of responsibilitybeing a big sister. As a bigsister I know. That's pretty odd. Yeah-- Um, oh my God, they got a lot of bills. All right yeah-- No just-- I just hope wewin the contest. What contestsweetie? The Christmas Babycontest. The radio hasit every year. The family with the first babyborn on Christmas wins $25,000. Wow! That's fun! We need the money. That's what mom and dad say. They're always lookingat the website. Can you show methe website? Mommy and daddy say if we win, it would really help them. See? Mommy and daddy say iHelp them?it would really help Hmm.. So, Karen, when your dad gets upin the morning what does he do? Um, well, he drives me toschool, then he comes home and stays on the computermost of the day, Um, wand the phone, me toschool, tI think.omes home Mom says he'sworking from home. Jim's a money manageron Wall Street. I'll tell you what,I'm really interested in that "manny petti"thing that you're doing. What color do you thinkwould match my... Shoes? They're black. Um, what colorgoes with black? Everything goeswith black. (Laughs) Come here. Yeah. Look at their bills. And their um... Credit. Utilities. Look at this-- They're two paymentspassed on their house. And electricity is gonnabe shut off any day now. No. It's bad. But he didn't say anythingabout being laid off. Well, it's nota surprise. Goldman Sax,Leeman Brothers... You know it's bound totrickle down sometime. Oh God, and they havea baby on the way. Thanks Jenna. You always manageto point out the obvious. Okay, let's not dothis now. Okay? I paid the cable. It'll beback in a couple hours... Don't act like a hero.You did that for yourself, so that you couldwatch the game. If I win, I'll givethem my winnings. Very Jimmy Stewartof you, Kyle. What do youwant from me? I'm not thatsavings and loan. Oh no, you're just a lawyerin a corporate law firm with courtside Clippersseasons tickets. You are the onepercent, Kyle. So, I'm the enemy becauseI make a good living? Found one! What about this? Too pink. (phone ringing) I need toget that. It's Jim. Hey, what'shappening? Uh, she's notfully dilated yet! So, it could be minutesor it could be hours. I will keepyou posted. Okay. Jim, is everythingall right? Yeah! We're havinga baby! A son! Everything is morethan all right! I uh... I dunno it's amazing. Ilove you sis, I gotta go. I'm gonna get back there.Talk to you soon. Okay. Love you too. All right, bye. Did they havethe baby, yet? No. She's not fullydilated yet. Oh, a simple-- A simple no wouldhave sufficed. What's the verdictwith the bills? So, without the mortgagethat's $1600. Okay so$800 each. No, that's$1600 each. I-- Why would they eventhink having a new baby would be a good ideawhen they're broke? You don't lay that on yourchildren it's just... it's not right. Okay, how could they knowthat he would lose his job? Besides I'm sure thatit's just a temporary thing. Do theytake Visa? Environmental law doesn'tpay as much as corporate, huh? Lucky for you, they takeVisa and Mastercard. Environmental law doesn'tpay as much as corporExcellent. I will pay them,you write me a check. Guess you need themileage points, huh? You know, I didn't add thecable bill into the final tally. That'll be mytreat too. Oh, okay,great. Such a bigheart. So, this is their Christmas present? Yup. We still haven't solvedthe biggest problem yet: the mortgage. Yeah, I don't think there'sanything we can do about that. And it's Christmasand their uh... Their bankers saythey're on holiday... And they're being foreclosed on,on the first week in January. What? Just like that-- Banker inthat lame movie that you like. Potter,Henry Potter. Not Kotter. Well, I'm not gonna beable to sleep tonight. I never canin this city. That's why I brought my wavemachine. It sounds like Malibu. Can you try and have alittle compassion, Kyle? What do youwant from me? Just-- This is why wecan't work together, because younever care! I'm a corporateattorney. I'm paid to negotiate;I'm not paid to care. Hang on a second. Maybe... I cantrack him down. Who? Kotter? Mhmm. You're crazy. Yeah, yeah,yeah. Bronx-- too boring,Soho-- too hip... That's him. Uptown. That's our guy. And to prove that Ihave a big heart, I'm gonnacall him. Yeah, all right. (ringing) Hmm... No answer. We tried. No. No, we didn't. Karen, we are goingon a little adventure. You in? I'm in! Oh no, no,that's crazy. What? You want to stay here andnot watch the Clippers game? That's fine by me. Okay. I-- I'm going. But only becauseif I don't go you'll probably get yourradical self arrested. Bankers hateliberals. (Moans in pain) Oh-- Are youokay? Yeah. Are youokay?That's it. Here, here,here. Here. Oh,thank you. Can't wait to see your dad'sface when we tell him that we're naming thebaby Christopher. Can't wait tOh, it's gonna meanface when weso much to him. Thank you. For what? Working so hardfor this family. I know it hasn't been easy,but I have to say, it's a bit of aChristmas miracle. What is? You gettinga job. Yeah, well... Look I-- I don't want youworrying about money anymore. Okay? I told you I would providefor this family and I will. That's my job. I love you, JamesDouglas Pendrell. More than all of theleaves on all the trees. I love youso much. (radio) It's Christmas Eve, baby! That's right! Which means 25,000 big ones to the couple who delivers first. This is thecontest. Hopefully Christophergets his punctuality from my sideof the family. Need I remind you thatit was my brother who was on timefrom my sidefor their wedding.f the family. That's not howI recall it. As I recall it, thePendrell's are always late, except for you,Karen. You're like meand your mom. Stop fighting,please! I want to listento the radio. ...Plus the winning family will receive a year's supply of baby food and diapers, courtesy of Babies R' Us. Wow, it is really comingdown out there. ...is downright frightful with half of the Bronx and part of the mid-town and up-town experiencing brownouts. You know, we're close anyway.We'll get out here. Yeah, we'regonna get out. (Screaming in pain andbreathing heavily) Yeah, we'regonna get out. Hello.We're um-- We're looking forMr. Henry Kotter. Are you on theguest list sir? Yes--Yes we are. Mhmm. It's um...yeah right there. Yeah. Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Meleke andAshante? Yep. Meleke andAshanteThat's right. That's us. Uh, and this isour niece, Karen. Are you sureyou're the Smiths? Yes. AI'm Melekeeyou'reSmith.miths? Is there aproblem? Whatever. Let's find Kotter, make ourappeal, and get out of here. Okay. I'm Henry Kotter. Who are you? What are youdoing at my party? Mr. Kotter we are legalcounsel for the Pendrell's. We know that it's Christmas Eve, and we're sorry-- Who are thePendrell's? You're foreclosing ontheir home. 5589 AtlanticAvenue. Well they werein default. By terms of the loan thebank now owns that building. Let me show youthe way out. Sir, we are prepared to writeyou a check with 20% interest, as long as we get assurancethat you'll extend the grace period of the familyfor no less than two months. No deal. That property is partof a bundle being sold off to some venturecapitol group. You see, the whole area hasbeen re-zoned for office towers. As I said,good night. No, no, no-- You look here,Mr. Kotter. My brother and sister-in-laware good people and they have been in thathome for five years. That can't justbe for nothing. That can't justbe for nothing. Taxi! "Oh Mr. Kotter"... I was speaking fromthe heart! Okay? To a man whohas no heart-- Yeah and youought to know. Twenty percent! I offered twenty percent!You heard me! Hang on. Taxi! Hey, Adam.Uh, it's Jenna. I was wondering ifyou could look into a venture capitolgroup for me, buying up property aroundAtlantic Avenue in Brooklyn? Okay, thanks. You're asking someoneto work on Christmas? How Scrooge-likeof you. He celebrates Hanukkah andhe's my best friend's husband. He's an I.T. guy, if it's onthe internet, he'll find it. What if he does? There'snothing you can do with it. Well you don'tknow until you try! Listen, I'm really sorry aboutwhat's happening, all right? But it's afree market, and that's what happens ifyou don't pay your bills! How and why areyou defending them? Your sister's family isabout to lose their... home. Then we should try tohelp them find one. Are wemoving? No, no, no sweetie.Nobody's moving. It's fine. This is not ourplace to talk here. She's witnessed uspay all of their bills, she's been ina bankers house, and tried to stop a foreclosure,I think she's clued in! This adventuresure is cold. Do some jumping jacks.It'll warm you up. She's right. We need tofind some place to warm up and check in onChristopher. Here. Okay, let'sgo honey. Taxi! Let's go. I'm sorryit's so cold. Ow! Does thathurt? Yeah. This is going to be trickierthan we first thought. So, sorry-- The baby? Mom and the baby aregoing to be just fine. But uh... (church bells ringing) Okay,here we go. Quick! Okay, honey.Please be open! In you go--You first, honey. I can't believe you wantto crash a church service. You can't crasha church. Everyone iswelcome. Besides, it's theclosest place open. (phone ringing) Hello? Uh, there's beena complication. Complication...uh, is she okay? They're fine. They're fine. The doctor thinks that the baby's position has to be adjusted. But it could be a coupleof hours given the time between Trish'scontractions. I'm kinda in the dark.But I'll keep you posted and I'll let you know.I'm gonna get back there. Okay, we'll be thereas soon as we can! Call us if anything changes,all right, Jim? Love you! I love you,bye. --Wait, wait, wait! What's the name ofthe hospital? Hello? Hello? He must havehung up. Call back. Okay. (ringing) (Machine): You've reached Jim Pendrell, leave a message. He must have turnedhis phone off. Are you worried? No. No. You don't remember the name ofthe hospital? Do you, Karen? No. You don't But, I knowe name ofthe hospiwhere it is. Karen? Where sweetie? That's the empirestate building. I know. It's a blockover from there. Well, what are wewaiting for? Let's go! Do you needsome help? Nope. WACK! (barking) Oh my god! Oh my God, I'm sorry,I didn't see you! Oh, ma'am. Oh my goodness. Oh God, her head! We need to get youto a hospital, ma'am. Oh... I-- I feel dizzy. Alright, you'regonna be okay. We're gonna getyou to the hospital. I'll flag a cab,okay? Okay. Nearest hospital! Step on it! (radio) Hey, this just in-- According to Norads, Santa's sleigh is over Finland at the moment as we are just four hours out-- Ugh, if I hear about theSanta'sChristmas Baby one more time!he ...that means, we are just hours away from the birth of Baby Christmas. We have reporters at the scene of every obstetrics ward in town. Come on,Christopher. We're having ababy tonight, sir. Not her. She's havinga concussion. Lamby! Now she's a littledelusional. Will you relax? She said..."Lamby", I-- Ma'am we're gonna be at thehospital very soon, alright? Yes. I'm sorry...Can you please... You're-- What are youmoving at a snails pace? Oh, that's am sorry...good one.an you please... Nurse, uh...we need help. Watch thislady here. I'm gonna go--I'm gonna go. Kyle's gonnago ahead. Excuse me nurse,nurse! Um, we havean emergency, I just-- I hit thislady with a door. Is this a domesticdisturbance? No, no!It happened at church. Is she arelative? No ma'am. I don't evenknow her name. Oh, we don't knowher name...No. Hello. Hello. I'm sorry my unclehit you with the door. Are you okay? Oh, I'm fine. I was a little dazed,but I feel better now. I'm a toughold broad. My name'sKaren Pendrell. What's yours? EthelGoodenthorn. It's a pleasure to meetyou, Karen Pendrell. It's nice to meet you,Ethel Goodenthorn. We're having ababy tonight. You don't say? My baby brother,his name's Christopher. He may win theChristmas Baby contest. I see. He may win theChristmas BabA Christmas Baby... Oh, how exciting! So much hopeand promise. Oh! Oh, no! What's wrong-- Where's Lamby? Who's Lamby? He's my dog. He was with me! I think-- He ran off when myuncle hit you with the door. Oh, dear. Can we callyour family? Maybe they canstart looking for him. Oh, no. My son is afirefighter. He's alwaysworking. He won't beavailable. Hang on. Excuse me-- We're looking fora Trisha Pendrell. Obstetrics. She went into labour acouple of hours ago. Sorry,no Trisha Pendrell. What? Really? I don't know what to tell you.What? Is there anotherhospital around here? St. Andrews, aboutten minutes by cab. St. Andrews, Okay-- Uncle Kyle,aunt Jenna! We have tofind Lamby! Sweetie,who's Lamby? Ethel's dog, it ran off whenyou hit her with the door. Let's gotalk to her. Do wehave to? Yes! You need to learnabout accountability. Do I have to? Yes, because Jim said it'dbe another couple hours, a half hour ago--We have time. Hi, I'm Karen's aunt,I'm Jenna. It's a pleasureto meet you. Is this yourhusband? No. No. Uh, this is my... Kyle. Karen tells me you'llhelp me find my dog. You see, we were onour way to church. The reverend said,I could only bring Lamby because it was thenativity story. But I think he thinksI'm blind as a bat and that Lambyhelps me walk. I'm not. Listen, Ethel, I'm sureyour dog is just-- Lamby. Lamby-- Is just sniffingaround the area. We would love tohelp you find him. Why don't you... Um... Write down your name andaddress for us, Ethel. Yes. Um, and then we will uh... We'll see if we can find himbecause he might have run home. Okay, great. Super. Okay, great.Goodenthorn? Like the insurancecompany? Oh, I don't have anythingto do with that anymore. It was my insurancehusband's work. Thank you. I appreciateyour kindness. I'm uh... I'm reallysorry about that and it truly wasan accident. There are noaccidents. I know you'llfind him. We will. Take care,Ethel. Okay. Take care,Bye.Ethel. Bye. Lamby. Do you know who that woman was? Uh, insurance? I don't know. Lamby! She's abillionaire! Lamby! Lamby! Yeah and now she'salone in a hospital on Christmas Evethanks to you. Lamby! I get it. I'm anawful person! She's abillionaire! She could buy athousand Lambies! Lamby. Whatever. I think it's sad. She reallyloves Lamby. Money can't buyhappiness, Kyle. I know that! I spent thousands of dollarstoday all I garnered for is I knocked a woman out, lost herdog, and I've been freezing This is not theface of happiness! Okay. I think you're learninga valuable lesson. There is a silverlining here! Besides, we're still waitingon Baby Christmas. Oh, don't even go there,all right? I don't care. Lamby! Hey-- Where-- Where's theaddress? Uh... The dog's gotta be cold too--it would go home. Okay, um...It's uh... What? You're not gonnabelieve this. Yes, folks yourcab has arrived. Evening, folks. I need you to signin at this hour. Who's expectingyou? Uh...I'm sorry, sir. We were here earlierat the Kotter party. We just had to go homeand feed our dog and we just decidedto come back. Ma'am, I was bornon a Tuesday, but not lastTuesday. Kotter warned us ofpotential party crashers. Of coursehe did. It's black tie, so I would guess you wouldbe said party crashers. Oh, he's good. Please sir? We're lookingfor Lamby. He's missing. Is this Goodenthorn'sLamby? Yes. The thing is, we had totake her to the hospital. What? Why? She's fine, she fellwhile walking her dog,What? we were thereto catch her... She okay? Yes.She's fine. Don't worry. But she is veryconcerned for Lamby. Could you just check and seeif it went to her apartment? Yeah-- absolutely,absolutely. There are so many peoplegoing in and out, he might have slipped by;he's a smart cookie. I'll be back. God-- Please takecare of them. And uh... I know you're not a headhunteror anything, but if you know of any opportunitieswith a trading firm, I know you're not a headhunteror anythilet me know.ou know of I just uh... I just can't failmy family. I won't. I'm really sorry guys, I looked everywhere,he wasn't there. Do you think her familypicked him up? No dear, Miss Etheldoesn't have any family. What abouther son? The firefighter? David died inthe towers. He's areal hero. I don't think she believeshe is really gone. He was awonderful man. He lived with heruntil he died. In this apartment? No she owned thepenthouse for years, she just recentlymoved downstairs. Didn't need allthat space. Kotter'spenthouse? Yeah. I bet that's whereLamby went. I'm sorry dear, but dog's generallydon't use the elevator. Do you have asecurity camera? Yeah. Do you mindjust checking? You're luckyit's Christmas. Well what doyou know. We have togo up there. I have to goon a coffee break, I really hope you folks don'tsneak passed me when I'm gone. Thanks,very much. Thanks--? Sal. Sal. Just try to stay awayfrom Kotter and good luck.. Let's ask the butler aboutthe dog and get out. If Kotter sees us,he'll have us arrested. Okay. You again? I'm callingthe police. No-- Please Mr. Kotter, I'msorry to bother you again. We have onelast question and thenwe'll go-- Call the police! Excuse me, sir! Did someone try and delivera small white poodle? Well...Yes. One of my staff dropped it offat the pound, on her way home. What pound,sir? Well...I don't know. The one that hascats and dogs. It's important. The lady you boughtthis place from-- It was her dog. And it's the onlyfamily she has left. Please sir,it's Christmas. Look-- I'd like to help,I really would. But there's nothingI can do. Goodnight. He's a Scrooge. Can't. This way.He's a Scrooge. We have to goto the pound. No, no...We are not goingon anymore wild goose chases. It's not a wildgoose chase! It's a domesticateddog chase. A Lam chase. In case you forgot,we have a nephew, you-- you have a brother about tobe born into this world. I want tohelp Ethel. My brother, Christopher,would want us to help her. The pound keeps pets for aboutfive days before they... Lamby has his tagsand chips I'm sure... So, it's amood point... It's your faulthe's missing. Why don't you care? I do care. We just-- we haveto be realistic. Karen, I love howbig your heart is, but we have to bepractical about this. That is a load of bull! Okay listen, it isChristmas Eve and-- and we are gonnado the right thing. We are going to find that woman's dog, I don't care if we gottago to every pound, and then we'll goto the hospital. You are crazy! Oh right,we're crazy. Why? Because we care aboutsomething other than ourselves? I've been wanting to get offyour train wreck for awhile. So, I'm gonna takeKaren to the hospital. Fine. Fine. Didn't go so well,huh? Yeah. You wouldn't happento have a jacket or a coat I couldborrow or buy? Now whoneeds help? I'll take thatas a no. I've got somethingfor you, just a sec. I'll take thatIt's um... It's a little uh...well... It's fine. I'll get itback to you. Word of advice... Yeah? She makes youa better man. Yep.Whatever. Hey, don't have to listen to me.You can believe what you want. But I had that once. Stubborn, principle,drive you crazy-kind of girl. And she mademe better. I don't wannabe better. I just wannabe warm. Suit yourself. Thanks forthe coat. I appreciate it. I ap(humming Christmas song) Ahh!!! AHH!!! STOP! HEY! AHH! I'll get him!I'll get him! (police sirens) This isn't whatit looks like. (phone ringing) Hello? (phonWhat?ging) Kyle? (pho--What?ing) Wait, wait... You're in--in jail? Uh, yeah, okay, yes,we'll be right there. And you thought theradical liberal was gonnaget arrested. Yes I did. Thanks forcoming down. I didn't think they weregoing to let me out. You're lucky that it's Christmasand I felt sorry for you. So whathappened? Some woman got her pursesnatched and I got involved. See what happens whenyou try to help people? Really? True story. Look at you, alltussled and tattered. Putting someone else'sneeds before your own. I know, I know. I'm a hero. No, I wouldn'tgo that far. But it is agood start. Any luck withthe dog? No, because we only gotto visit two places before we had to comeand pick you up. Now you know how Lamby you mustfeel, all cold and behind bars. That's a goodpoint, Karen. Thanks again for,rescuing me. Yeah, yeah. Someone had to. Folks! Go online if youwanna chatroom. You can'twait here. Can we just wait until the snowstorm, dies down a little? Can't do it here! Really? You're gonna kick usout into the snow storm? It's Christmas Eve. There's gotta besomewhere we can stay. (horse neighing) This...is awesome! Still enjoyingthe adventure? No. Look! A horse! His name'sGabriel. Loves Christmascarols. Craziest thing. They tell you to wait outthe storm back here? Yeah. Is-- is that okay? Oh, sure. Where you folkstryin' to get to? St. Andrews. My sister and her brotherare having a baby. Hey. Congratulations. Thank you. Christmas baby. You know that's all theytalk about on the radio. We know. We know. St. Andrews is close tothe Chrysler building. About fifteenminutes from here. Wait it's, not by theEmpire State building? No, no, no. The Chryslerbuilding. But unless itlet's up outside, my guess is you guysare going nowhere. Feel free to help yourselves to some coffee. Merry Christmas. Thank you. Coffee? Yes please. (radio) Two hours to go folks. I know you know what time it is, but do babies have watches? I'm just saying, if you have a baby on the way or you just wanna say, Merry Christmas New York, I'm waiting for your call. 212-555-0175. Coffee? In a mug. Congratulations you have justminimized your carbon footprint. Wow. Congratulations you havHow doesminimized your carbon fit feel?. Surprisinglygood. You know what, I should uh,should check in with Jim. Yeah.(clears throat) Gimme a second. (ringing) (answering machine) You've reached Jim Pendrell, leave a message. Hey. Jim. Can you pick up yourphone 'cause you know what, you're really startingto make me worry. (heavy breathing) Breathe. (heavy breathing) Not how you thought you'dbe spending your Christmas, huh? With me. In a stable. No. I would not havepredicted it. But-- I have to admit itis pretty authentic. We're just missingthe manger. Mmhmm. And a baby. It's at the hospital. (laughs) What? Why do you, loveChristmas so much? Because-- Christmas is theonly time of year when the worldcollectively gives hope. The energybecomes... magical. And, it feels like, anykinda miracles, can happen. Miracles, onlyhappen in movies. I mean, life is a,little bit more difficult. You're socynical. I-- Prayed and prayedfor a miracle once. It never came. What was it? I don't wannatalk about it. Aww, why? Cause you didn'tget what you wanted? Something like that.Aww, why? Oh, come on. You can tell me. Please. I um... I wantedmy father, to be there for my motherwhen she was dying. And he couldn'tdo it.her, I don't think I'll everforgive him for that. I'm sorry. It's okay. Hey you knowwhat I think? I think that miracles happeneverywhere and every day. And if you startto notice one, you are gonnasee them all. Christopher. Grade A miracle! It's mymiddle name. Really? I didn'tknow that. --And no matter how muchI try to get away from him, my father, he'salways there. Kyle, Christopher,Davidson. I'm, sorry forbeing a jerk. Today and, you know,every day in the past. Do you acceptmy apology? I do. And, I willhave you know, that we just witnessedanother miracle. You. Apologizing forbeing a jerk. And look I--I'm sorry too. Cause I've um, I've been,pretty hard on you. Really? Because I nevernoticed. I um-- Oh.I um-- Look at her. She's beautiful,huh? Gosh. I remember, when Iwas a little girl, my grandfather usedto take me skating, at the RockefellerCenter. And... It was sobeautiful. All that snow falling onthese, giant buildings and I rememberthinking, it doesn't get anybetter than this. You look differentin a barn. So do you. So, how come... You and Inever dated? I mean, coworkersgo out all the time. Right-- Like youand that temp. She was justa temp. Touche. What about you and thatum, office Xerox copy guy. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, okay he, fromaffar looked like Hugh Jackman. From affar, sonot my fault, and you know we might haveflirted, that was it. You asked him outfor Belini's. I ask everybody. Well you neverasked me. Do you likeBelini's? No, but I would haveenjoyed your company. What did you say? Um, I mean,we're... different. We, we do have ourdifferences, don't we. Yeah, uh, for one you uh,you like to talk in your sleep. What? How doyou know that? Well, 'cause on the drive downfrom Chicago you were, uh, talking inyour sleep. Oh my gosh,I'm so embarrassed! You should be! I mean at first I was intriguedwith what you were dreaming about until I realizedyou were dreaming about buildinga snowman. (laughs) Really? Oh, wow. Yeah you, you reallylove Christmas don't you? Yeah. I do. Are you guysgonna kiss? No! No! Cause, it lookedlike you were. No, well,we're not because there's nokissing going on here. No, wellNo, and I-- I was just,we're noI'm gonna-- He's gonna-- I'm gonna checkthe weather. I'm going-- Aunt Jenna, can Iborrow your phone? Uh, yeah. Sure-- I'll just getit for you. Thanks. (radio) Hi! Who am I talking to? Karen. How old are you Karen? Seven. Am I on the air? You can hear me on the radio? You're on the air. How's your Christmas been so far? You're on the air. So far? Well, so far, my dad lost his job, and Mr. Kotter's trying to take away our house. We lost MissEthel's dog and Uncle Kyle got arrestedfor something he didn't do. He and Aunt Jenna are fighting, we're snowed-in in a barn, we're trying to get to the hospital, my baby brother's being born, and now, he probablywon't even win the contest. So, my Christmas so far,it's sucked. Eugh! Sounds like you're having a bad night. I am. And, to tell the truthI don't really care. All I care about is mybaby brother being born. You love him an awful lot, don't you? I do. My heart feels full. And I keep thinking it could help but, no one ever listens. Karen, wow! Hey, I've got news for you. The phone lines are lighting up. All of New York and our listeners throughout the world are all listening. You've got our attention young lady. throughout the world are all listening.Cool! Let's take our first caller. You're on the air. Hey, it's Jojo! Hey, Karen, we're listening, and your love definitly makes things better. Thanks, Jojo. Merry Christmas! Hey, caller, go ahead. Hi, i'm calling about that little girl, Karen. Is there anything we can do to help her? (multiple callers talking to Karen) (multiple callers talking to Karen) Trisha, I need you to stoppushing, and breath normally. Why?Is something wrong? Everything'sgonna be okay. Going to be? We need to doa cesarean. Nurse, move Mrs.Pendrell to the O.R. and page theanesthesiologist. We good? Hey baby,how're you doing? I'm okay. I'm right here! I'm scared. It's gonnabe okay. Okay. It's gonnaRight?!. (Cell phone chime) My phone! There's a message. It's from Jim. There was a problem.He, I-- They're puttingher under. They're puttingher under? I don't...I don't know. He had to go. Yeah and we'restuck here. (HONK HONK) No, we're not. Oh!! Let's go. Let's go! Let's go! Grandpa! (laughs) Hey, sweetie! Daddy! Aww! How are you? Good. Well? Um-- We're still waiting. But everything's fine,they're both gonna be fine. Um, Karen, why don't you, goover to that vending machine and see if you can get thebiggest bag of Skittles. All right?...Okay. So, whathappened? It's tricky. Tricky? Um-- Basically, the shoulderwon't pass the pelvice. So, they're gonna haveto push the baby back and take it outvia C-section. That happensall the time. Well-- Yeah, but this ismore complicated because the umbilical cord is wrappedaround the baby's neck, and if they apply toomuch pressure... Heh... Anyway, I'm gonnaget back in there. Okay. And, uh-- You know, maybe it couldn'thurt to say a little prayer. How long areyou here, Kyle? Uh, I fly outon the 26th. Maybe uh, one day you cangive me some grandkids. So, you can love themmore than your own kids? Kyle-- I'm gonna gocheck on Karen. He's just hurt,you know. I've tried. For years,I've tried. He won't even sit inthe same room with me. I don't know whatto do anymore. It's Christmas. And you, have a grandsonbeing born in there. Mr. Davidson-- Christmas, is aboutpeople coming together. Take tonightfor instance. I had no idea howwe'd get here. But I knewthat we would. And youknow what? What? People cametogether,? and miracleshappened. Come here!Look! Excuse me for onemoment, okay? I'll beright back. How are yourSkittles? Good. Your coffee? Meh. Maybe if you hada bigger cup.ee? This one's betterfor the environment. Are my um, mom andbrother gonna be okay? Yeah. Sometimes... Sometimes things,seem complicated. Doesn't meananything's wrong. On the contrary,everything's right. It's just, hard tosee that sometimes. Like... With you andAunt Jenna. Uh, no, not likeme and Aunt Jenna. It's obvious you likeher and she likes you. You really thinkshe likes me? Yeah. It's like when Tommy O'Sullivankept trying to pull my hair last year, and the teachersaid he was only doing it to get my attention. You are way toosmart for your age. I know. You and Aunt Jennashould be together. All right,I take that back. You're notthat smart. I'm just sayin'! Whatever. How did youfind him?! I heard Karen on the radio andso did the guy at the pound. Aww,sweet baby! I know someone whomisses you terribly! I was thinking you andKaren would wanna give him to Ethel after all youwent through to find him. Really? Oh Sal,that's so sweet. If it weren't for, you Godknows what woulda happened. Aww, come here! It's kinda sad really--The woman has all the money in the world and it can'treplace the one you love. Isn't that true! It's like thosefireflies in summer. There one moment,and the next-- Gone. Nothing like Christmas to makeyou appreciate what you've got. Nothing like it! Thank you,Sal. This is amazing. Look who we found! Hi, guys! Aww. Look whowe have! Sal found her! (monitors beeping) Nurse,suction please. All right. Okay. She's doinggood. Okay. Oh, yeah.Good boy, good boy. Well, I'm gonna grab a cup ofcoffee before I hit the road. You like tar? I like warm. At least the snow'slet up a little bit. (cellphone buzz)True. Where are yougonna put Lamby? Uh, rental car? Uh, we'd have toget the keys. Right. Hey, what'swith the dog? Hmm? It's Christmas. (laughs) What is it? Um, I just got anemail from Adam. Your I.T. guy? Yeah. He said, the venturecapitol company is,r I.T. guy? called the MalreighCompanies, and... What's wrong? They're represented by the firmof Davidson, Meyer & Levine. Your clients are takingaway their home! I'm not responsiblefor their dealings. I know yourjob Kyle. I used to do it,remember? How couldyou do that? They're a multi-milliondollar client! In all fairness, I don'tget the exact address of every propertyacquired. I didn't know! Well, what are you gonna just let that happen?! My hands aretied Jenna. Why? Why are yourstupid hands tied?!?! I could give you a hundredmillion reasons why! And I'd thoughtyou'd changed! I guess youproved me wrong! Boy I feel reallystupid right now. I thought that you andI might even have a-- Connection. This is not themovies Jenna! People don'tchange. You play the hand you're dealtand you don't get another card! Right old man?! Common, Kyle. Don't wannaback me up? Heh. At least you'reconsistent. Okay councilorthat's enough. Why is UncleKyle leaving? Because that'swhat he does! It's Dad! You can'tbring the dog! Karen! Hey, sweetie! Wha- what is this? Jim!Is it okay?! Yeah!Come on! That's so exciting!Oh, that's so great! Oh my gosh! You wanna meet yourlittle brother? How doyou feel? Everything hasbeen great! You okay? Yeah. I'm okay. You don'tlook it. Look, Sal, I um, I appreciateyou finding the dog and bringin' him andeverything, but uh, I'm really not up fora heart-to-heart. Well, lucky for you I'mall outta heart-to-hearts. That's good. I'm just sitting here,enjoying my coffee. You know, I spent the best Christmas ofmy life here, in this hospital. Really? Mmm hmm. Three years ago,my wife was here.Really? Decorated the room withthose little lights and... brought ina mini tree. I held her allnight long. And in the morningshe was gone. Sorry, Sal, I--I didn't know. Don't be. If that was yourbest Christmas, what wasyour worst? Every one since. But, hey. Life isshort right? All that mattersis love. Love coming intothis world. Love goingout. We get that... I'd say you'redoing pretty good. Merry Christmas,Kyle. You too, Sal. (baby making sounds) Oh! He's sobeautiful! I love him. He's beautiful. What's his name? Christopher,dad. His name isChristopher. Hi! It's been--It's amazing! Yeah! Your big sisteris here! He's ourChristmas baby. Merry Christmaslittle baby. This is yourfamily. (radio) Congratulations to Scott and Marlene Winters for the birth of their baby girl, Rose! WNKW's Christmas Baby! Oh, well. It woulda been fun ifit was Christopher. Yeah. Okay, so I spoke to Sal,and he said that Ethel is being discharged right now,so, if we go now, Lamby will be homebefore she will! I'll go get Lamby! Lamby! Lamby! Lamby! (sigh) (baby noises) Hey, Christopher. I know you're not gonnaunderstand this, or evenremember it. I wanted to tell you something. Even though, you and I,share the same name, and it's defined me anddoesn't have to define you. You're the oneChristopher. You're the one that can,break this family curse. I'm countingon you buddy. (distant laughing and talking) Oh,and uh-- Your Uncle Kyleloves you. Merry Christmas,Chris. (baby noises) Merry Christmas. What areyou doing? What does it looklike I'm doing? I'm leaving. I'm on flightstand-by. Now, if you really care for her,you wouldn't run away. Like you used todo with mom? Now you reallysurprised me. I thought you'dbe different. But, as it turns out,you know, we're a lot alike. I am nothinglike you. Kyle-- I am nothingI love you.like you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I can't getthose years back I wish I could. But I knowI can't. Spare meold man. I do knowthat if you-- Run away from heryou're gonna regret it. Enjoy yourturkey. Just a second. I've got somethingfor you. Please. Please? Lamby!Please?Come on, come on! Oh! Oh. Oh, my sweet,sweet Lamby! Thank youso much! You're welcome. Merry ChristmasEthel! Merry Christmasto you! I can see that you andLamby have really bonded. We sure did! I took real goodcare of him. Oh, I know! Listen, Ethel,we wanted to know if you would like tojoin us for Christmas. That's today? It is! Oh-- And Lamby is ofcourse, invited too. Oh!! Did youhear that? We have been invitedfor Christmas dinner! We'd love!! Did youto have you.r that? Well we'dlove to come. Great! (laughs) Oh!(laughs) This is a pre-boarding call for flight 372 to Los Angeles... to Los Angeles... Hey. Yeah it's,it's Kyle. Merry Christmas. Yeah, that's uh, yeahthat's not why I'm calling. Listen uh-- What do you think thechances are of us um, dropping the Mulray Companyas a um, as a client? I uh, I, I found some of theirbusiness dealings to be-- Unethical. They're um, well, they're,they're buying homes and putting peopleon the street. My family arevictims in this. I won't put people out on the street. All right? Our firm needs to be part of the solution here, not the problem. I'm making an, an ethical decision here. Well, then,fine. I-- I quit. 5589 Atlantic Avenue. Do you know any sportinggoods stores on the way? Okay, so, I wouldlike to make a toast. To Christopher, ourvery own Christmas baby! And to family. The ones who couldn'tbe here to join us, and the ones we findalong the way! Cheers. (everyone)Cheers. I'm really sorry that mybrother ran off like that. Oh, well, that's fine, I'm surehe had work, to get back to. Speaking of work. Jim-- Karen tells me you'regood with money. Uh, well, it's thefield that I'm in. Investing,trading. It's been a bit of atough go lately. But he's found something,haven't you Jim. Yeah. Too bad. My familyhas a trust. Mmm. Yes, Ethel's late husbandfounded Goodenthorn Insurance. Wow! It's a sizabletrust. Yeah! It's a sizabletrust.Is that big? Oh, Karen, we don'task people about money. But you doall the time. Oh, it's okay. It's a goodquestion actually. As a matter of fact, after thefirst eight zeros I lost count. (chuckles) I'm getting on. We could really usesomeone to manage it for us. You know the portfolio with the charities. Is it something youmight be interested in? Uh... It would befull time. Six figure salaryplus benefits. Uh, absolutely! Well of courseyou are darling! Well then! It's done! Cheers! (everyone)Cheers. Cheers to Ethel! Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh, Over the fields we go,laughing all the way! Ha... What is that? Is that... Uncle Kyle? Making spirits bright! What fun it is to laugh and sing a sleighing song tonight. Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ridein a one horse open sleigh. HEY! (together) Jingle bells,jingle bells, jingle allthe way! Oh, what fun it is to ridein a one horse open sleigh. Hey. Hey. You're crazy. I know. Skates? I bought useach a pair. Thought we could go tothe Rockefeller Center and you maybe might,wanna teach me how to skate. Oh and um, I uh,I left my firm. What? Kyle, you didn'th and um, I uh,have to--I left my firm. Yes I--Yes I did. Jenna, somewhere on this uh,this, crazy Christmas adventure I had, I realized somethingvery important to me. You. Me? Yes you. You bring out thebest side of me. The side of meI didn't know, the-- the side that doesthe right thing. And-- I guess I-- I always,I always knew that. But I was, I was tooproud to admit it. With you I--I thought that, I-- We could havedone anything. And then-- When you told me you wereleaving for San Francisco, I-- I was crushed. I wanted to, I wanted to grabyou, I wanted to stop you, I-- But I knewyou hated me. God, no. I neverhated you. I mean I-- you,You-- Irritated me but you,you always made me laugh. Wait I--I irritated you? Yes, but ina god way. In a good way. Jenna... You're my miracle. It's about time. Dad. Hi. Son. Thanks. What for? Today, for the firsttime, you, uh, you gave me what Ineeded all along. Well, I highly doubtyou needed a toy train. I just thought it was,me what Ioverdue.needed all along. It's not just a,it's not just a train. I finally havea father. I love you dad. I love you. I love you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's amazingabout Ethel. Who wouldathought? I would've. Trish, I gottabe honest. There wasn'tanother job. I just didn't want you to worryanymore, and, are you mad? No. I just diBecause I wasn't worryanymore, worried for a moment. How come? I know you'll alwaystake care of your family. That and... And...What? I always know when you'restretching the truth. I know youtoo well. You're an amazingman, Jim Pendrell. I love youso much. More than all the leaveson all the trees? More than all the leaves,on all the trees. (cellphone buzz) (sigh) Uhg! What is it? It's uh, email. From the bank. What does it say? They're granting us a fourweek extension on the mortgage. We're keepingthe house! We're keepingthe house? We are keeping,the house. We are keepingthe house! (together) We'rekeeping the house! (laughing) What?! Oh my god! Merry ChristmasMrs. Pendrell. Merry ChristmasMr. Pendrell. Oh my gosh!!! That's awesome! Hi, my littlenephew. Hi! He loves you. Well, he hasgood taste. He certainlydoes. Just likehis uncle. A Christmas baby. Think he'll ever know all thedrama that lead up to his birth? Hmm, yeah. For sure. We will tell him,when he's older. Cause, it's areally good story. It's a great story. (Laughing) On behalf of all of us here, at WNKW, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night! |
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