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Bad City (2014)
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Hello. I'm L. Donald Bramante, director of The Canadian Oversight Committee of Artistic Social Studies and curator of the Great Manitoba Maple Museum, Ottawa Branch. Welcome to CFPBC's Film Fridays. Tonight, the 1974 Canucksploitation classic, Bad City. For those of you unfamiliar with Canucksploitation, it was a romantic era in Canadian film history, when, fuelled by tax incentives, Canadians... or Canucks, as they're more playfully known... tried to emulate American Blaxploitation films of the same era, despite there being very few black actors in Canada at the time. Bad City attracted a handful of aging American B-list stars, compelled by the demands of drug habits and numerous divorces to take whatever work they could get, including Ike Pinkerton, who we all know as outlaw Quincy Gunner on Gunner's Law... Lester Holloway, who played the salacious judge Booney Maverick in Autumn's Harbour. Bad City also gave us some newcomers... a total unknown then, but now a household name... Yes, I'm talking about Danish pop sensation Mans Asbjonder. This largely unfinished film spent the last 30 years completely unseen outside of Copenhagen... so you could imagine how excited we are to be able to bring you this film tonight... and now, without further ado, Bad City. "I, Mayor Douglas, am handing over control to my deputy mayor, the highly capable and handsome Dominic Kincaid." "I will now end my life, thus ending my shameful career." "Please, tell my wife I love her, despite the numerous prostitutes I slept with. Sincerely, W.B. Wilhelm Douglas." Say it ain't so, Mayor! Say it ain't so! You think I'm scared of you? You may have been able to use your drug-dealing ways to worm your way into city council, but you cannot take down the mayor... What the fuck? Are you insane? You... you think you can just shoot me? Were you not paying attention to your suicide letter, Mayor? I'm not going to shoot you. You're going to shoot you, in a shameful and ultimately quite sad suicide, and everybody's going to buy it, too. No one's going to believe you, you scumbag, 'cause the people know I'm innocent! Fff... You can't just do this to me, 'cause I'm the mayor, goddammit, and this is my fucking city! Wrong, mayor. This is my city. Kincai... I've got soul is what is happenin' My babe And if you don't have it listen here I don't know what to say, now Your hair's so soft, Franky... What can I say? Just don't get too attached, 'cause Franky New Guinea don't settle down for nobody. Oi! Whaddya got for us today, Rat-Face? Yeah! Word on the street is there's a new player in town. Dig? Hey! What the hell is going on here? Oh, boy... Franky, who is this bitch? Franky, who is this bitch? Hey, who you calling bitch, you bitch? The dime store bitch standing right in front of you, bitch. Oi, oi, oi, oi! Franky! Franky! Control those two women! I'm trying to have a conversation over here! All right, ladies, just relax, okay? Let me explain a couple of things to you, all right? I'm Franky New Guinea. I don't settle down for nobody. You were saying about the new drug boss... look at me, Rat-Face! Huh? The new drug boss? Shit, I can't tell you that... but there is a new drug. Shite. Franky New Guinea here... plenty of me to go around. We shouldn't be brawling. We should be balling... together, in a bed... with sexy music playing... but first we'll put down a sheet, because it is Certified California Leather. Certified California Leather. Oh... Yeah. It's certified. These baby blues are going to sell like hot potato, like hot... potato... The fuck you just say? Well, I said they're gonna sell like hot potatoes. What exactly are you saying about potatoes? They're like these fucking drugs? Is that what you're saying? What exactly are you saying about potatoes? I'm not... I'm not saying anything! I'm sorry. Potatoes are great! I love potatoes! Good. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man. All right. Now tell me who the new drug boss is. Shit, pig... I can't tell you that. I'll catch a bullet in the... Jesus! Come on, Franky! Wha? Rat-Face was just shot! Oh, Jesus, is that right? Give me a minute here, 'cause I just got to finish... there's just something happening right now. Fuck's sake, Franky! Regulations states I cannot pursue a perp without backup! Aw, Fitzy, you're so by-the-book. Franky! All right, just... all right. Babies, I've got to jet. Let's go! Jesus! When I try to kiss you And hold you tight Aah! Ah! Oh! Oh, dammit, partner! I broke my heel! Dammit, Franky! Just give me one second! Got to put this back on... I'll just be one second. Go up ahead! Aah! Billy! Billy! Billy! Oh, God! It's okay, partner! Just a little bit of blood here! Just a little bit... oh, god. Did you get 'im? I got 'im. I got 'im, partner. Billy... I'm sorry... I used you as a human shield just now. Better... Better me than you, partner. You give this to Billy Junior. Your comb. Of course. My pick. Your afro pick, of course. In my pocket... my pocket... pocket... in me pocket... Franky... Find... just find out... who the new drug boss is. I will, Billy. And Franky... Yeah? Do it by the book. Billy? Billy! Billy, no! Billy! Billy, no! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Billy, no! While I'm saddened and disturbed by recent revelations about our former mayor, W.B. Wilhelm "Jive" Douglas... I do humbly accept his recommendation for me as the new mayor of this city, Nnot because I want to take powerfrom The Man, but rather because I want to give power back to the Everyman. Turn that garbage off! How you holdin' up, Franky? Okay, Chief. Just going through some of Billy's paperwork. Ha! Franky New Guinea doing paperwork. Never thought I'd see the day. I live for paperwork now. I'm going to avenge Billy's death, no matter what... by the book. I know. I know you are. You think I don't know that about you? How long we known each other, huh? How many fishing trips we been on together? Listen, I know you got the fire in you, deep, deep down in your belly. If you need a little bit of time off... No, Chief. This... Is all I got. All right. I'm going to assign you a new partner. Wait, a new partner? Who? That is good shit. All right. Where's the dough? This is a joke, right? What? Where's the fucking dough? Dough's right there, Jack. Ha, ha. Very funny, very funny. No, I want money. Where's the fucking money? Oh, I understand now. You meant you wanted dough metaphorically. I thought you meant that you wanted literal dough to make some kind of pizza pie or spicy calzone. Yeah, I don't want to make a fuckin' calzone. I want money. Yeah, no, no, I dig, brother. I do. I get it. Problem is, I don't have any money, so how 'bout this instead? I take the coke, I take the dough, and both of you go to jail for a long-ass time, huh? Uh, Chief? Huh? You said you were assigning me a new partner, and then you just didn't say anything for, like, five minutes. Oh, god. Yeah, sorry about that, Franky. When you've had multiple strokes, it's just... Uh, Chief? Y-Your partner's right over there, Detective Reverend Grizzly Night-Bear. Detective Reverend...? Yeah, that's right. He just got back from a deep undercover assignment in the Northwest Territories. The drugs, and the money, and all that good shit. Harsh land. Harsh assignment... but he got in a little over his head, if you know what I mean, and if you don't, I'll tell you... guy's seen more blow than a Wichita wind factory. He's a loose cannon, a party animal with a badge, and he's your new partner. No, Chief, I don't want a new partner. Well, guess what? You're getting a new partner. No, Chief. Not happening. It is happening. Chief, don't tell me this is happening! I do not want this to be happening! Franky, it's happening. Look, I know you miss Billy, all right? We all do, but I think this might be just what you need right now. Hey, Chief, man... let me know when you're done talking to this... fucking pretty boy here so I can meet my new partner and scram, you dig? Guess what? This is your new partner. Franky New Guinea, Detective Reverend Grizzly Night-Bear. No, no, no, no, daddy-o, no... don't tell me that you're making me New Guinea's new partner? Shit... Guess I better watch my back, 'cause I heard that New Guinea's got a bad habit of losing partners. You son of a bitch. Oops. You son of a bitch, man. You guys done? You got it, Chief. I'm all done, son. Good, 'cause I want you to go over to Francis Kaiser. Bunch of kids there have been OD-in' on some crazy new drug. I want you to see what you can dig up. Hey! What the fuck are you doing? Cocaine, you fucking nerd. Are you fucking kidding me? What? Man, lay off me, man. What are you, The Man all of a sudden? Yeah, I'm a cop. That means I'm The Man. I got a newsflash for you, too. You're a cop! You're The Man! Not that I believe you're a real cop, nor do I believe you're a real Reverend. Well, guess what, daddy-o? I am a real both of those. Yeah? Who would make you a Reverend? The people. The people made me a Reverend. Yeah? Did the people also name you Grizzly Night-Bear? Yes, they did. Well, they must have been fucking high, just like you, you lousy junkie. These are them... the baddest kids in school. Hmph. Thanks, Lorraine. We'll take it from here. All right, now, if you could all pay attention, my name is Detective Franky New Guinea, this is, uh, Detective Grizzly Night-Bear... Detective Reverend. It doesn't matter! Hey! I almost died becoming a Reverend, man. I know you all think you're bad. You think "I'm bad," and that's bad, right? You all think it's bad to be bad. Well, let me tell you something. It's the opposite. It's bad to be bad. All right? All right, now, who's got the drugs, huh? You? You? You got drugs? Fff... I don't do drugs, man. Come on, you're higher than a firecracker on the fourth of July. Where's the drugs? All right, he's high. Who knows where the drugs are? Where's the drugs, man? Where did he get them drugs, kids? You! You know where he got 'em! Hey, Reverend, what are you doing? Hey, pops, back off, man! You want to find the dope? Let me do my thang. Yeah, a-all right. Fine. You wanna handle this, tough guy? They're all yours. Lorraine and I will mate... will wait outside. So you all think it's pretty cool to do drugs, huh? Gaah... Jesus Christ! Thou shalt not taketh thy Lord's name in vain! And I'm going to keep slapping unless you tell me where this new drug's coming from. Holy shit, he's OD-ing! Don't worry, don't worry. Back away, back away. I got 'im. Son? Son? Son! I lost 'im. That's a damn shame. Ah, don't blame the kid, man. Drugs is a man's game, man. Detectives, how did you let a child die on your watch? No comment! No way, man, no way. Thank you, gentlemen. Your making yourselves look bad has afforded me the opportunity to make myself look very good. Yes, thank you for asking that very poignant question, Petra. Our education system is broken, and the only way to fix it is through education. That's why I'm going to use my new-found powers as mayor to implement a new educational program, Kincaid's Kid Aids. Well, what are Kid Aids? Kid Aids are the best thing to ever happen to this city's kids, Petra. So, you're giving our students... - Aids. - Ah. Aids... to deliver much-needed books to our city's schools every week so that our children can advance in life through knowledge. I'm going to give our kids aids, Petra, so they don't end up dead like this guy. What a revolutionary idea, Mayor. You are... truly a man of the people. Yes, I am, Petra. Yes, I am. Free books for everyone! Something doesn't feel right about Kincaid giving those kids aids. Hey! Where you going? Wait, Night-Bear, what are you doing? You can't beat a child! Man, don't tell me not to beat a child, man... when that child is my child, man. Bring it on, motherfucker! What's your name, kid? Kyle. Kyle Night-Bear? That's right. Okay. Now, you tell me what was in that jive-ass honky Kincaid's book right now! Kincaid's not jive. You're jive! Jivest man alive! You stay away from him. You hear me, son? You stay away from Kincaid. He is bad news. Well, I got some badder news for you, pops! Kincaid's been more of a father to me than you ever were! I hate you. I never want to see you again! In my life! Should we, uh... Should we see if he survived that roll? How the fuck do you let something like that happen? You're snorting coke off the kid's desk, while you're off making babies with the teacher! Whoa, Lorraine is barren down there, Chief. She can't have any babies. Oh, shut up! I got the city coming down my throat on this one, and I got the press up my ass. I'm getting fucked on both ends, and I don't have any cab fare home! You understand? I got one cop who can't even be near people talking about drugs without inhaling everything in sight... Sorry, man, there's drugs in this room? And the other one can't be near a woman without playing grab-ass or tonsil hockey while somebody gets killed! You two are a disgrace! We're sorry, Chief. It was like he was alive one minute, and then passed out for several minutes, then dead minutes after that. I mean, we did everything we could. Yeah, there is something funky going on at that school, Chief. Those kids is into some bad ju-ju, and you gots to let us investigate, dig? They told you were crazy, Night-Bear. They didn't tell me you were stupid too. Do you think I can let this go unpunished? Both of you are demoted to traffic duty, effective now. Oh, come on, Chief! No way, man. I don't want to hear it! Yeah! Thanks a lot, partner. Franky... I just want to say... You really fucked me on this one, bro. I eff-ed you? No, you eff-ed me. Uh... no, sorry, man, I said "fucked me." Yeah, I heard what you said. What then, man? What's the problem, man? Don't tell me you're too square to swear, man. Shit. Listen up, Reverend. If I'm gonna solve this case and avenge Billy's death, then I'm gonna do things by the book, all right? And that means no more profanities while I'm on duty. Oh yeah? Yeah. Yeah? Guess what? What? Fuck you, man. Fuck you! Listen up, you light-chested fancy boy! You might be the dumbest cop on the force, but I know that you know that something ain't right with what happened back at that school, and that Kincaid's book charity's got something to do with it, man. So if you don't want to get out of these tight-ass threads and go do some real fucking police work, that's fine by me. I'll save these kids all by myself... 'cause I've got the big stinking balls to do what's right, Jack... and that's a fact! All right. Well, I'm not gonna desert my post! You know what they did to deserters in 'Nam? Huh... books. All right. Police! Open up! I heard a rumour that there was an under-age party at this address, and that all of you was out of booze and weed, man. Hey, what the hell, man? What about my door? My parents are going to k... Learn how to party, haircut. Here we go! It's me. You better send someone right away. Oof... oh, boy. All right, Franky... control your sexual desires. Do this by the book. Can I help you... officer? Yes, I need to know everything you know about Kid Aids. I don't know anything about Kid Aids. But the sign outside says this is Kid Aids Headquarters. I could tell you about our most popular children's books... Oh yeah? What kind of books? You know... books about forbidden romance. Pirates with... chests full of booty. Mm... You are a devilish vixen... and I'm a weak, weak man. You son of a bitch! I know your kind, all right? I had my heart broken a thousand times by guys like you, with your slicked-back hair and your disco moves, and your .45 bulging out of your pants. Oh, my god. Well, I'm not attracted to guys like you anymore, all right, and if you think that I'm attracted to guys like you, then you're wrong, 'cause I'm not attracted to guys like you anymore. All right? Um... all right. I'm sorry, Miss, uh...? Fontaine. Izzy Fontaine. See, that's what I'm talking about. All right, I'm sorry, I... I thought you were flirting with me. Oh... Well, you... thought wrong... Officer. All right. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but you're squeezing my butt in a very flirtatious way. I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, now you're squeezing my biceps... touching my mustache... One could construe that as... flirtatious. What, you'd think I'd just throw myself at you? Like this? Oh, save me, Officer! I'm really vulnerable right now, and I've got a secret that I'm just dying to tell you. 'Cause I'm not going to do that, no. Okay. See you around. All right... Oops! It's not very hot in here. So there I was... standing... covered in feathers, with the crow's heart... making its way deep into my lower intestines, and I thought to myself, I thought... "Boy, oh, boy... that was one hell of a birthday, man." Outta sight! So, what kind of drugs you guys want to do next? I just got these Donkey Drops. Let's do them, gang! What? Donkey Drops? Man, what's a Donkey Drop? You sure you're not too square, man? Ooh.... I've done a lot of things with donkeys. I just never dropped one, dig? Right on, right on. So, shall we, uh... do some coke while we wait for this donkey shit to kick in, or what? Oh boy... Uh-oh, oh... Tell me, who sold you these Donkey Drops? First and last name, please. It was Kyle, man. Kyle? Kyle... I thought I told you you were grounded, man! No, you didn't! Kyle, you're grounded, man! Kyle, this is your dad? Far out! Coolest dad ever! No! He's the worst dad ever! He's never home, and he's always high! Hey, he taught me how to party. Yeah. Screw you, pops! You deserve what's coming. You deserve what's about to happen to you! Kyle... Kyle, no! Easy... everybody take it easy. Looks like he couldn't hold his liquor, man. Franky... you saved my life. I may not like my new partner, but you're still my new partner, and I'll be damned if I'm going to lose two partners on the same day... partner. Right on, partner. Honky shit. Kyle, why you so down, son? Oh, no, I'm fine, Mr. Kincaid. Get over here. Come over here. Let me pour you a drink. You know... I remember when I first met you. You came to me just a scrappy little runt looking to run some product for me, make some extra cash for that bicycle you wanted... but I saw more in you. I saw potential. Look at you now. You're my number-one man on the street corner, and in the hallway. Nobody moves more drugs than you do, Kyle. You're like the son I always wanted. Aw, shucks, Mr. Kincaid. Oh, it's true, you are. It's just, Mr. Kincaid... Please, Kyle, call me Dominic. Oh, sorry, Mr... Dominic. It's just seeing my stupid dad at that stupid party made me so mad. I know. I know, Kyle... but you did the right thing in calling me, 'cause right now, my boys are having a conversation with him and explaining to him that he won't be able to distract you from your true potential anymore, from what I can do for you... What I can help you become. You mean, a businessman like you? That's right. That's right. No more school, no more parents, and one day, you play your cards right, all that I have could be yours. Now, come on, now! Pour me another drink... and I'll have this bimbo show you her titties. Sure thing, Dominic! Oh boy! Mr. Kincaid! Mr. Kincaid... those cops, they killed Marty and Sal. What? What are we gonna do, boss? We can't let these pigs get away with this. Kyle... C'mere. Take these Donkey Drops. See if you can't unload some of them at the roller rink. I've got to take care of this. What about my dad? You're not gonna... you're not gonna... Kyle, please! I'm a businessman, not a thug. I solve my problems with dialogue, not violence. Run along, now. I'll see you later. You're not actually going to solve it with all of that, uh, dia... dia... you know, that talking stuff you just said. Course we are! I'm gonna have a dialogue over the telephone with an assassin, and he's gonna find Night-Bear and New Guinea and kill them once and for all! Man, you a bad motherfucker. Damn, it's 8625, not 8652. You have a beautiful home, Night-Bear. Thank you, partner. Shh... Shh, shh. Hush. Hush. I know. I know, but I'm here now. Aren't I? I know... I know, I know, I miss you too. I miss you too, baby. I missed your body. Franky New Guinea? Please meet my wife, Pauline Night-Bear. Mrs. Night-Bear, it's a pleasure to meet you, and thank you for the glass of milk. Honey, you can't... I'm sorry, partner, she's not usually so crass in front of guests, you dig? Dirty little girl. Tell me, sweetheart... where's our son, Kyle? I need to whoop his ass into understanding something. I'll... I'll... He'll come home, don't worry, and when he does, I will talk to him. Sweetie, be cool. Don't... Night-Bear... I just want to thank you for bringing me to your home. You've shown me what's really important in life... family, honour, respect. The way you and Pauline show your love for each other has shown me that I not only have to play by the book on the job, but I gotta play by the book with women... play by the book of love and respect. Right on, brother. I was wrong about you, Grizzly. You know, you really remind me a lot of my old partner, Billy. You two? You two... oh! You two would've gotten along... if I hadn't have gotten him killed. Nah... nah, don't... don't do that to yourself. No, it's true! No... It's true! I got my partner killed, and I'll never settle down with a woman. Hey, hey! Look at me. No way, Jose. Bring it in. You're okay, Franky. You're gonna be okay, brother. Oh, perogies! Oh, brother, you are in for a treat. Pauline! Pauline? Pauline! Pauline! No! No, why? Pauline! Pauline... Mom? This is your fault! How is this my fault? Oh, boy... I'm going to see Kincaid. No, I'm going to see Kincaid! Wait, why are you going to see Kincaid? 'Cause I know he had something to do with this, that's why! You think he hired an assassin to kill Mom? No. To kill us... but he missed. You don't know that! He wouldn't do that. I know, son! I know it here... and I know it here. Let me guess, your spirit animal told you in a dream? Don't you dare disrespect your spiritual ancestors, boy. The Night-Bear is the noblest of all the night animals, and you know it. Fuck you... and your spirit animal! Kyle... Kyle! Wait, just let him cool off. Let him cool off, Night-Bear! He's tearing us apart! Kincaid is tearing my family apart! No, Night-Bear, no! Kincaid! Kincaid! Kincaid! Kincaid! Kincaid! Kincaid! Kincaid! Kincaid! Kincaid! Hunh! How'd it go? Uh, it's not so good. What do you mean, "not so good"? I didn't get them. I...I missed. Give me that gun. Certainly. Ooh! Kill you! Piece of shit! Oh, God! Thank God you're okay. 'Course I'm okay. I'm Dominic Kincaid. My mom, she's... she's... and my dad, he's coming here to get you... Kincaid! You killed my wife... my love... the only thing that was good in my life. What about your son, Kyle? What about him? Kyle is a very special boy, Reverend Night-Bear... Detective Reverend Grizzly Night-Bear! Oh, of course. My point is, you're a terrible father. I'm just that glad I, a servant of the people, was able to step in and become Kyle's new, better father before you ruined this young man's future completely. Kyle! You step yo ass away from this jive turkey right now, man! No way! I hate you! It's your fault that Mom's dead. Kincaid... I'm going to bash your fucking brains in, man. In front of your already traumatized kid. Exactly what a terrible father would do. Do it. Go ahead. Do it. I'm gonna do it! You're in trouble, man. Do it. I'm not going anywhere. Good! I'm right here. Don't do it! Dude! He's not worth it, man. Oh, he's worth it, all right. Man, he's not even worth a chicken-fried ham off a Back-Porch Sally. Brother, you're right. But Night-Bear, we don't have any evidence. That's right! You got nothing on me. You cops got nothing on me! I'm the mayor, goddammit! Ha! I'm the goddamn mayor! He's right. Everything he said is correct. Evidence? Don't make me laugh. What kind of cop you think I am, man? Who the hell do you think you are? Arresting the mayor? Are you two insane? He killed my wife, man! Where's your evidence? I felt it, Chief. I felt it... here... and in here. Yeah, well, you know what I'm feeling in here and in here? Like smacking you upside the head! Asshole! Mr. Mayor, I am terribly sorry. Look, if there is anything that I can do... Oh, there is... one little thing you can do. You can fire this no-good for-nothing cop right now before he turns your police force into an even bigger joke than it already is. Ha ha! Mr. Mayor, I... Fire this man, or I fire you. Night-Bear... Save your breath, Chief. Smells like shit anyways. Watch your back, Kincaid. Yeah... 'cause we're going to be all over you like a spider monkey at a banana-tree party. We're going to be hanging around. Don't worry about Kincaid. We know he's guilty. Soon as we get some evidence, we'll put him away for a long time. Man, I got fired. You can't work with me. It's against the rules. I can bend the rules this time... if we get some evidence. Where are we going to find some evidence? Don't worry. I know where we can find some evidence. Right on. You got it, brother. That I do... because I got you. You know, I was hoping I'd see you again. I'm sorry I was toying with you before, but... I've just been hurt so many times in the past. Franky needs to know you... everything about you. You're not like any girl that I've ever met before. Let's leave. Darkness... darkness... darkness. It's all dark, jack... and black... but I can't see the light... Tonight. To. Night. I go from door to door, selling, man. I go from whore to whore, yelling, "Man!" Be right there, Mrs. Night-Bear. I placed kisses right there, on your vuh-gina. I'm just tryin' ta... kiss you instead of miss you... but... just a kiss becomes... syphilis. I'm burning up. I'm churning up. When are you turning up, Mrs. Night-Bear? When you coming home? Pauline, I'm all alone. I miss you so much, Pauline! Pauline! Grizzly Night-Bear, everybody! Far out. Because I... this is just really the way I feel about you, and I mean everything that I'm saying. Oh, yeah! Oh, Franky! Ooh, baby I get high On your love Hot! Oh, yeah! Oh! Ah, yeah! I get high On your love But I'm lovin' you baby Oh, but I'm close to you close to you Listen, Franky... I want to trust you, but I don't know if I can. Damn it, Izzy, if you can't trust a cop in this town, then who can you trust? I swear I'll protect you. You can't protect me from Kincaid. He's too powerful. Not too powerful for Franky New Guinea. Franky New Guinea is also very powerful. I know you're powerful. This has nothing to do with who's more powerful! Goddammit, Izzy, can't you trust me? I don't know if I can. Izzy, you know what you're like? You're like this wilted flower sitting on the side of the road, dying to come into the light... and you know what I am? What, Franky? I'm a cup... of water. Franky... you know how to move me like no other. ...and higher I get high Oof... Wow. All right. Mm. All right, now tell me everything you know about Kincaid. All I know is that every night, after I close up at 9:00, Kincaid's goons show up. You will never guess which one of our... buddies was hired to kill them two cops... but missed and killed the cop's wife instead. No shit? Who? John Johnderson! Ha! John Johnderson? Ha ha! John Johnderson John Johnderson? You're serious, right? John Johnderson, the same John Johnderson that we know from John Johnderson, right? That's what I fucking said. John Johnderson, man. Keep going, man! John Johnderson! John Johnderson, yeah... I said John fucking Johnderson! The fuck is your problem, man? Come on! John motherfucking... I think that shit is funny. John motherfucking Johnderson. John Johnderson? Yeah, John Johnderson! All right? Is that what you wanted to hear? Well, fine! It was John Johnderson! All right? You got it all out of me, and I'm yours now, Franky! I'm yours... Hey, hey... What? Hey, whoa... whoa, whoa, whoa. I know it's hard... Yeah. Feels a lot better to talk about it, though. I wasn't talking about the case. I know it's hard. Franky... you are an animal. Come here. I get higher I get high I got a name. John Johnderson? Yes? Can I help you? Ooh, I was higher than a motherfucker! You're John Johnderson? Yes. Enough talk! Come on, Johnderson! Tell me, man, who fucking hired you? Who hired you, Johnderson? Who hired you? I don't know! We got 'im! We got the shooter! Nothin' to see here! Book 'im, Rico. What the hell are you two doing? We got 'im, Chief. We got the shooter, man. Both of you, in my office, right now! And we have footage now of the vicious attack by two police officers earlier today... All right, move along! Official police business. Nothing to see here. Come on, nJohnderson! Absolutely nothing to see. Hey! I said move along. nYou want me to come over there? I'll come over there. Some film students shooting a documentary were able to capture the footage, which only gets more and more disturbing. Hey, is that camera on? Oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa. Is that camera on? No? Is it? Good. Good. Wait... how old are you, sweetheart? Are you 18 yet? No? Okay. Well, then move along! How do you think this looks? The D.A. is going to have my dick in a vise! No, no, no, Chief, man... we got the shooter, man. Yeah, Chief, it's okay. Is it? Is it okay? Yeah. - It's okay? - I think so. It's not okay! It would be okay if you two had got the shooter, but you didn't get the shooter, you morons! What are you talking about? We got a witness who says John Johnderson was the shooter. Oh yeah? Well, your witness was lying, because John Johnderson is not a goddamn street assassin, he's a city councillor! He's probably the one real competition Kincaid has in the next election! Congratulations, dipshits, you just beat the living shit out of one of the good guys! What? No, that can't be. It can't be! Yeah, well, it is. Guess what? Somebody just made a fool out of both of you and got you kicked off the force. Oh, Chief, you can't do that to us, all right? We were set up. Oh, yeah? By who? Well, uh... this girl, she told me... Oh, shit, another girl! Goddammit, Franky, when are you going to learn? This one is different. I don't give a shit. You beat an innocent man half to death! You're off the force. Now, turn in your badges! Nah, Chief, man... Now! Now, get out of my sight! Why can't you be a woman? Franky, I'm sorry I had to do that to you. I know you are, Chief, I know you are. Why can't you be a woman? Chiefy? Chief? Why can't you be a woman? Hey. My fellow Americans, I ask you to share with me today... Chief? Goddammit! Hey, hey, Reverend, would you please keep your drug-sniffing hands to yourself, all right, 'cause this is Certified California Leather. Certified California Leather. All right? Man... I got news for you. All that hanky-panky was clouding your vision, man. You couldn't even see that that sweet, sweet piece of ass was fooling your ass from the start. Fooling your ass from the start! Yeah? Yeah! Well, at least my wife's not dead! There! I said it! You son of a bitch! I don't need you, you hear me? I will find Kincaid and take him down on my own, and none of your by-the-book ways are gonna slow me down. Yeah, well, you being constantly high and drunk all the time wasn't exactly speeding things up either! Fine! Goddammit... oh, Billy! I'm so sorry, uh, Billy. Why? Why did you do that to me? Franky, you're hurting me. You deserted me when I needed you. Franky, please... You know what they did to deserters in 'Nam? Franky, you're scaring me. Am I? Yeah. Am I scaring you? Yeah, you're scaring me! Well, you're scaring me too, with your beautiful eyes and your soft lips. They're scaring the shit out of me, because... I love 'em... and that scares the shit out of me! I did what a girl's gotta do. All right? I'm sorry, Franky. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let you in. It's like my daddy always said, you only get one Tuesday to make a jack-o-lantern crow. It's a hard hard, hard road And I'm running Out of steam Oh, god... Fuck! It's a hard hard, hard road Back off! And I'm running Get outta here! Out of steam Yeah, you know what I mean Billy! It's a hard hard, long road And I'm tired Of holding on Just too far gone Don't look at me! Look at the other wall! Look at the other wall! It's a hard hard, long road And I'm tired Of holding on I'm just too far gone Hey, sweetie, $11 only gets you... Oh! Darkness... darkness... dark... Before it was darker... pretty... pretty much... it's darker now. Pretty hungry right now. Kyle! Kyle... So happy to see you, son. Oh... Kyle, Kyle, I'm... I'm sorry. I... I'm sorry I let you down. I was focused on, on my job, and then your mother... You're all I have now, son. Kyle, I'm so sorry... but it's just you and me now, and I love you, son. Kyle, I love you so much! Kyle! 'Kay. Okay. Night-Bear, everybody! My boy, I love you! Kyle, I l... I love you. And there were three more reports of teen overdoses in the greater city area this week, making 14 overdoses this month alone. In unrelated news, Mayor Kincaid was at Francis Kaiser High School today, celebrating the undeniable success that the Kincaid's Kid Aids program has become. But I can't take all credit for the undeniable success of Kid Aids. The true heroes here are the kids! Snap out of it, Franky! What happened? I'll tell you what happened! You've been humping that desk for the last 18 hours straight! You... you fucked yourself into some kind of sex coma. What the hell's the matter with you? I'm sorry, Chief, I just... just got nothing left to live for. I've got no chance of avenging Billy's death... I'm worthless. You think I give a crap? Well, I don't. I don't give a crap, but... get your shit together and get the hell out of here! Chief... I'm sorry. After all you've done for me, I let you down. No. Don't apologize to me, Franky. You let yourself down. You let... yourself... Oh... almost forgot. This came for you. "If you want to solve the Kincaid case, meet me in the woods in one hour. A friend." A friend? A friend... Hello? Anybody here? You have got to be fucking me. Reverend, what are you doing here? I got this letter. Told me to show up, so... You? Letter. Same. Did you send the letter? Yeah, man. Yeah! I sent you the letter, then I sent myself the letter, man. Fucking idiot. Gentlemen... I sent that letter. John Johnderson? Yes, it was I, John Johnderson, who sent that letter. What gives, Johnderson? You told us you could help us take down Kincaid. And I can. Well, out with it, Johnderson. How can we take down Kincaid? Together. Oh, brother... Hear me out. While I was enduring hours and hours of painful recovery from the extensive and permanent injuries that you caused me, I heard you two had been kicked off the force and were no longer friends. I may never be able to walk again... Which we're really sorry about, John. Can't apologize enough for that, man. No, I'm fine. It's cool. Cool. Chief told me you two had lost... Wait, the Chief? Of Police? Yeah, the Chief of Police. When he told me what happened, I knew it was my duty to try and get you two back together. You could take Kincaid down, once and for all. Cool, man. But how? You. Franky, with your by-the-book ways... And you, Night-Bear, with your not-by-the-book ways... If these two separate pathways of policework could merge together into one unified road... nay... a superhighway of law enforcement... God as my witness, I think you could take down Kincaid once and for all. What do you say, partner? Partners? Brother. Partners. Partners! This is so great! My dad never played any pool games with me. Hmm. I got to be honest with you about something, Kyle. Your daddy, he means well, but he is in every way a bad man, and do you know why? Because he did those things with that owl that one time? Mm. But also because... Because he killed my mom. That's right. That's right. So you and me, if we're going to be a team, Kyle, you can't ever see him again. Are we a team, Kyle? Yes, Mr. Kin... I mean, Dominic. Good boy. You're like a son to me now, K-man. Don't ever betray that trust. I won't do it no more! I won't do it! Drew! Handle this bitch for me, would you, Drew? Relax, bitch. Relax. Okay, Kyle, run along now. Remember, you play your cards right, and all that I have could be yours one day. Aw, Izzy... What's wrong? I won't do it no more. I won't be a part of it. I quit. What, you think you can just quit like working at the shoe store or something? It doesn't work like that, Izzy! Well, you can't make me stay. No... I can't make you stay, but I can make you dead. You and your whole family. Your aunt Maureen, your cousin Tyler, your uncle Giuseppe... How do you know their names? Your nephew Derrick, your best friend Whitney... No! Your brother Mike, your sister Micah, your cat, Mr. Mittens... No, please! Oh yes! I know them all... and while I consider myself to be a reasonable man, you so much as think of quitting at the library, so help me god, your whole family, and your motherfucking cat, are gonna be dead! No... Franky... he'll never let you get away with it. Who, New Guinea? Oh, please... please! Please, that's delicious! Please, try to follow along with me here. I killed the mayor, and he couldn't stop me. I killed New Guinea's partner, and he couldn't stop me. I killed his new partner's wife, and he couldn't stop me, and tonight, I'm going to kill him... and guess what? He can't stop me. You recognizing the pattern here, Izzy? How about that John Johnderson? Hell of a guy. Hell of a great guy. Reverend, I, uh... just want to say... I'm sorry. I was wrong. Thank you. Thank you, Franky, for... for saying those things, man, and... I wanna say that I too am sorry. I was wrong about you as well. You're a good man. Also, I would like to apologize for the ancient Navajo curse that I placed unto you. You didn't lose too many toenails, I hope? No, not too many, no. Good man. Good man. Well, all is forgiven. Now to slow down for this turn in the road. Someone must've cut the brake lines! No! I'm too late! My father, who I never got to tell I love, is dead! Kyle! Dad! You're... Someone must have cut the brake lines. Brake lines... brake lines... I thought you were dead! Son, I'm right here. I'm right here... forever. Dad, you were right... about everything. Kincaid, I heard him say it... he did kill mom. That son of a bitch! And your partner. That son of a bitch! And tonight, he said he was going to kill Izzy, and then you two! That son of a bitch! Oh, yeah What an exciting turn of events for our heroes. Though, as many of you are aware, the backbone of programming like this are donations from viewers like you. If you haven't yet had the opportunity to do so, please, send cheque or money order to Film Friday, in care of CFPBC, 11314 123rd Street, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, T5M 0E9, or give us a call. Our phone lines are always open and available to receive your donations. We depend on the support of callers like you, and our phone lines are always open. Hi, so can I put you down for a thousand? Have you called yet? Have you called yet? If you haven't had the chance to call, call. Thank you... and now, back to Bad City. Listen to me, all right? If we wanna take down Kincaid for good so that another Kincaid doesn't replace the current Kincaid, then we gotta do it from the inside, by the book. Are you sure that we can't just... just kill him, man? I feel like it would be much more satisfying. No, New Guinea's right, Dad. We've got to take him down from the inside. I know just how to do it, too. How? I'll wear a wire. No... No, Kyle... that's too dangerous, man. I know. I've got to. For Mom. Kyle, I... I fucking love you, man. My baby boy. Now you're a man. Here it comes! Baby, this is too good to be true Whoa! I'm in love with you And I pray to God the things you do They're more to me than any pot of gold We did it! Go long! Hut! Touchdown. I can tell the world I love you, baby Yeah, I do You know, Kyle... you don't have to do this, man. Yes, I do, Dad. For Mom. You're so fucking brave. You know, I know I've never told you this before, but... son, I'm proud of you. You... are the one blessing from the spirits that I never saw coming. Thank you, many spirits... for the blessing that is Kyle. All right, kid, now, we've got to get Kincaid on tape talking about drugs or the killing of your mom, or the killing of my partner. You got it? Got it. All right, good luck, kid. Before I go... Izzy... she loves you, man. She feels terrible that she betrayed you, but if she didn't lie to you and tell you that John Johnderson was the shooter, then her whole family would be dead right now... and her cat too. Ooh, yeah. Come on, now, relax. Relax! I said relax, bitch! Mm-hmm. That ought to help you relax. K-Kool. How you doing, my man? I'm doin', I'm doin'. How you doing? I'm well. Thank you for asking. Okay. Is there something wrong? That's it, man, his cover's blown. I'm going in there! No, wait, Reverend, wait. Wrong? No, I'm cool. Feeling cool... just riding the breeze. Are you sure you're feeling cool? 'Cause you're sweating profusely. Nah, yeah, I'm cool. I'm just... workin' hard to sell those drugs for you, which is what I do for you, right? I tell you what, why don't we cool you off, go for a drink after we finish what we're doing here? That sounds... swell... and just what exactly are we doing here again? What do you mean? Yeah, kid, that's the ticket, that's the ticket! I just mean what are we doing here... right now... at this location? What does it look like we're doing right here, right now, at this location? It looks like... we're putting illegal drugs into Kid's Aids books. No shit! Actually, we're putting stories into Kid Aids books. Seriously, you're acting retarded right now, but you're a smart boy, Kyle. What's going on? Whoa, whoa, ease off the gas, buddy. Ah....nothing. You know me, 'Caid... I mean, Dominic. Just messin' around, like kids do. Oh, Kyle, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you retarded just now. I appreciate that. Why don't we just get back to what we were doing? That's it... Which is something not too many people know about... Yes? Something highly illegal... Oh, this is it. We got 'im. Yeah! Something that, if caught, would surely cost me my position as mayor and take me down once and for all... Yeah, it's just like I told you! And that very illegal thing is... I'm going to kill a cop's kid! Do you hear me, Night-Bear? Do you hear? My boy! Reverend, no! What am I supposed to do, man? Tyrone! Nicky! Tie this kid up and secure the doors. We's about to have company! We can't go in there without backup! You know the rules. Think about this for a second... Fuck think... and fuck the rules too, 'cause I got a news flash for you, teacher... school's out, and we on the playground now, and out here, we don't play by your teacher rules. We got our own set of rules... playground rules, and they sure as shit don't involve waiting for no stinking backup when it's time to fight! Out here, you fight all alone, man. It's you... and the man... by your side... fighting right next to you! Franky... it's personal, brother. Mm... That's my whole world all tied up in there, man. That's my... my whole Mother Gaia, you understand? So it's time for you and me, partner, to play... a little different. Now we play... not by the book. You dig? Reverend, I dig completely. Let's go in there and take care of your son. Right on, partner. Not by the book! Yeah... All right! After you. I'll exit this side. Lookie-lookie... Ha! It's a coke-cane! It's like the drug... But on a cane. Yeah. You hear that? Oh, come now, gentlemen, I know you're out there somewhere. I can smell your bear-skin clothing from here, Reverend. I just want to say, I commend you. Turns out you were right about your pussy son, Kyle. He is a good little boy, just like his daddy. Too bad he's going to die... just like his mommy. Kincaid... He also gonna die like that dead partner of your partner's that I killed! Kincaid! Fun-time's over, Kincaid. Not so fast. Drop your weapons, or I kill them both. So predictable. So predictable. You know, I'm actually glad to see you two, because I have a confession to make. I almost wanted to get caught. Isn't that something? It's true, though. I think maybe deep down in my heart, I knew that giving these kid aids, that in turn were giving these kids drugs, that in turn were giving these kids seizures, was wrong... but, then again, having more money and more power and more cocaine and more women than any man in this city feels so right. You know what I'm talking about, Night-Bear. You son of a bitch! Franky! I'm sorry! I've been hurt by the wrong guys my whole life, and the one time a man treats me right, I hurt him. No, it's okay, Izzy. You just did what a girl's gotta do. Oh, isn't that sweet? You know, there's another reason I'm glad you're here... because now that I get to kill you, there won't be anyone stopping me from running this town the way I want, no badges running around making being mayor and dealing drugs difficult for me. You can't kill us, Kincaid, because just like the spirit of the night-bear, the spirit of brotherhood... that shit's eternal, man. Ha! Exactly. That shit's eternal. You can't kill us, Kincaid, but we can kill you. Ha ha ha! I'd like to see you try! All right. There's a funky little nightclub It's a swingin' little spot where the soul people meet They got a funky little waitress there Little go-go dancer And a smooth bartender Night-Bear! That knows all the answers Come on! At the nightclub dig it, baby At the nightclub Too much soul Fuck you, Night-Bear. Chapter one... you're dead, assholes. Looks like they took a page out of the wrong book. Ha ha! Nice work, turkeys. This is where the good times end. Night-Bear! Uh, uh, uh... not so fast. Drop 'em! Drop your weapons, or I kill them both. Ha ha! You're so stupid! - Kyle! No! Aah! Jesus Christ! That's our cue to leave, sweetheart. Oh, God... Reverend... Grizzly... I'm so sorry I got you killed... just like Billy. Don't worry about it. Oh, my god. You're dying! Oh... I said... don't worry about it. No, goddammit, no! Holy shit. What's he doing? Night-bear! Go for it, Dad. I believe in you. What the... Ho ho ho... Ha ha! Nice try, Night-Bear. Even with the power of the spirit of the bear, you couldn't take me down. Ha! You missed! Did I? Wait, Franky, what are you doing? You could hurt me! Trust. But I... Trust! But... Trust me. Okay, Franky. I trust you! You hear me? I finally trust a man, and it's you! You understand? Oh, Jesus Christ! Ha! You missed, you big dummy! Did I? Oh, no! Well... looks like you were right about one thing, brother. Oh yeah? What's that? Sometimes, playing by the book really does work. Ha ha! Kyle! My boy! My beautiful baby boy, you're going to be fine. You're going to survive this! I know... Dad. I know. Franky... I'm sorry I betrayed you. No, it's okay, Izzy. I forgive you, as long as from now on, you trust me. Trust this, Franky New Guinea. Yeah! What the hell's going on here? We got 'im, Chief. We got the guy who killed my Pauline and Franky's deceased partner, Billy O'FitzSullivan, man. And we got all the evidence we need. Looks like you're stuck between a Tennessee Bull-Worm and an Uptown Annie, Kincaid. You're going away for a long time. Yeah? Those drugs aren't mine. This is ridiculous! It's entrapment! They entrapped me! My lawyer's going to have a field day with you two. You should just release me now, save yourself the trouble of all the paperwork. Ha! I live for paperwork. Ow! Fuck, my nose! All right, get this piece of garbage out of my office. You can't do this! Rico! Do you know who I am? I'm Dominic Kincaid! This is my city! I'm Dominic Kincaid! You have not seen the last of me! I'm Kincaid! I'm Kincaid, goddammit! Kincaid! Well... I guess you two think this is the part where I say "Congratulations! You saved the day, and you avenged your fallen loved ones... and you're the two damn best cops I've ever seen in my whole life, and your legacy is going to live through the ages." And... guess I should inform you that now that you've solved the case, you're no longer required to be partners. Well, that's good... 'cause then I don't have to look at his ugly mug anymore. Yeah, man, and... I guess I don't have to follow any of your goddamn rules anymore either... even though... I mean, I guess they are pretty helpful sometimes. Well... I guess this is... Yeah... You're right, Jack. This is... this is time, brother... for you and me to go back out there and clean up the streets of this bad city. Yeah! Yeah! It's a bad Bad, bad city It's a bad city. It's a bad Bad, bad city But if you think You're gonna fight this fight and win They're gonna take you down Before you even get in It's a bad Bad, bad city It's a bad Bad, bad city If you think you're gonna come out alive You'll be lucky if you even survive It's a bad Bad, bad city It's a bad Bad, bad city If you think you are the coolest cat in town There are two jive cops And they're gonna bring you down It's a bad Bad, bad city It's a bad Bad, bad city Ooh And if you think that crime really pays These bad-ass boys Are gonna show you an end of days It's a bad Bad, bad city It's a bad Bad, bad city It's a bad City There you have it. Buried in the pot of gold at the end of the Canucksploitation rainbow, a diamond in the rough, Bad City. Following production, it was only Mans Asbjonder who went on to see further success, releasing his electro-pop hit single, Mans, which held the number-one position in the Central European pop charts for eight weeks in a row, finally taken down by teen idol Chrissy, best known for her hits Is It Tonight and Heels in the Air. That's all the time we have for tonight. I'm L. Donald Bramante. Good night. It's a bad city They're coming so you better get out Well, I got love inside of me And I got soul runnin' deep And I got two shoes on my feet And they're pounding out a beat Oh yeah Well, I got heart right from the start And I got feelin' leavin' you reelin' And I got both sides to the sun I got love like a glove And I got love For you to find And I got love For you to find And I got love For you to find And I got love For you to find Oh shit, man I seen love Well, I got bones and I got blood And I got skill and I got mud And I got one mind open wide And I got love For you to find And I got love For you to find And I got love For you to find And I got love For you to find And I got love For you to find Oh, yeah Hey, Joseph, man. Get a bit more of that twang on that guitar, would you? Dana, turn up that kick drum, man, I can't hear it. Matt, feel it. That's what I'm talking about. Oh yeah Oh yeah Oh yeah I said, I got love I got love He got love And we got love She got love And we got love Feel it, feel it hell yeah We got love we got love We got love we got love We got love we got love We got love we got love We got love Oh yeah We got love For you to find And he got love For you to find And she got love For you to find And we got love For you to find And I got love For you to find And I got love For you to find And I got love For you to find And I got love For you to find Yeah Print it. |
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