COME ON, BABY. OH, YEAH.
FISHERMAN--
WINNER, HERO.
HOW DOES I FEEL TO BE
BILL DUGAN?
WONDERFUL. BUT I'D JUST LIKE
TO THANK GOD
AND MY SPONSORS--HOOTERS,
JACK DANIEL'S, COORS LIGHT,
MILLER LIGHT, AND HEINEKEN.
WOW. YOU'RE AMAZING.
I'M HUMBLED TO
BE IN YOUR PRESENCE.
[STATIC]
[ALARM CLOCK]
[RADIO PROGRAM PLAYING]
GOOD MORNING,
SWEETHEART.
NO.
COME ON.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GOING FISHING.
FISHING!
[WHISTLING]
COME ON, SCOTT.
LET'S GO, SON.
THE FISH ARE WAITING.
DANG IT.
IT'S YOUR LOSS.
YEAH! HEY!
HEY, HEY! HEY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HEY, HEY!
COME ON!
THIS AIN'T SPRING BREAK.
AAH!
[HORN BLARES]
AAH!
JERK!
I WONDER WHAT THEY'RE
OPENING OVER THERE.
HOPEFULLY, IT'S ONE OF
THOSE MASSAGE PARLORS.
AT YOUR AGE?
HA HA HA!
YOU'RE LATE.
WERE YOU OU FISHING?
NO. I WAS RUNNING LATE,
SO I SHOWERED WITH
MY CLOTHES ON.
NOTHING GETS BY YOU, GUS.
BILL, CALL THE COPS.
IT LOOKS LIKE SOME
PUNKS BROKE IN
AND BUSTED
THE PLACE UP.
WAIT A MINUTE.
NOPE. THIS IS
HOW IT ALWAYS LOOKS.
HA HA!
[COUGHS]
[MOCK LAUGHTER]
IF YOU HACKED UP
A LUNG, MELVIN,
I AIN' CLEANING IT UP.
ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE.
[CHUCKLES]
GOOD MORNING, BOYS.
GOOD MORNING, BILL.
WHAT'S GOOD
ABOUT IT?
I SEE YOU'RE YOUR
USUAL CHIPPER SELF.
DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE
TO TALK ABOUT THE NEW
SUMMER MENU?
I WANT TO ADD CHILI.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS AIN'T A CHILI STORE.
IT'S NOT A HAT SHOP.
WE DON'T SELL SHOES OR BOOKS
OR EVEN THOSE LITTLE
TUBES OF TOOTHPASTE.
IT'S A BAIT SHOP.
WHATEVER. I ALREADY
DONE IT ANYWAY.
DOES NO ONE LISTEN
TO ME AROUND HERE?
HUH? YOU SAY
SOMETHING, BILL?
HA HA!
[MOCK LAUGH]
BY THE WAY,
YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW
DROPPED BY YESTERDAY.
[CLANG]
HE DID?
THE MATTRESS KING.
"HE'LL HELP YOU SLEEP
LIKE ROYALTY."
A GREAT GUY.
Bill: YEAH,
THAT GREAT GUY
WANTS ME TO SELL
THE BAIT SHOP AND...
[DEEP VOICE]
GET A REAL JOB!
[NORMAL VOICE]
SO I CAN GIVE
HIS LITTLE PRINCESS
THE LIFE SHE DESERVES.
HE WAS COMPLAINING
ABOUT THE ROTTED BOARDS
OUT ON THE DOCK.
WELL, MAYBE ODD JOB
COULD TAKE A LOOK AT I IF HE EVER DECIDES
TO SHOW UP.
OH, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?
GOOD MORNING, BOSS.
YOU'RE A HANDYMAN.
IT'S NOT A REQUIREMEN THAT YOU LIVE HERE.
I HAVE TO.
YOU SEE, MY LIVING
SITUATION HAS SOR OF BECOME...
UNTENABLE.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
STAYING WITH SHIRLEY.
OH, I WAS. IT TURNED
OUT SHE'S MARRIED.
IT WASN' A BIG DEAL TO ME,
BUT HER HUSBAND WAS
NONE TOO HAPPY
TO COME HOME
AND FIND ME.
Bill: I'LL BET.
IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE
THE 5 YEARS IN PRISON
REHABILITATED HIM
ONE BIT.
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU
NEED SOME COFFEE.
WHEN YOU GET DONE, GE OUT BACK AND FIX THAT DOCK.
OH, NO CAN DO.
I HAVE HAD ONE HECK
OF A MORNING.
I HOPE YOU'RE
CHARGING HIM
FOR THAT THING.
I'M TRYING TO
RUN A BUSINESS
HERE.
HEY, BILL.
HEY.
I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU GO ANY MONEY TO PAY FOR THOSE.
JUST PUT IT ON MY TAB.
WHAT TAB?
WELL, IF I HAD ANY MONEY,
I'D BE IN A DECEN ESTABLISHMENT.
I MEAN, WHO DRINKS BEER
IN A BAIT SHOP?
ANYWAY, I COME
BEARING INTELLIGENCE
ABOUT YOUR NEW NEIGHBOR.
YOU'RE TALKING ABOU THE MASSAGE PARLOR?
THAT'S WHAT THEY'D
LIKE YOU TO THINK.
THAT IS ACTUALLY A FRON FOR A FEMA BLACK OP.
NO, AND I HAVE I ON GOOD AUTHORITY
THAT HALLIBURTON'S
HURRICANE MACHINE IS
HEADED OUR WAY.
IS THAT RIGHT?
HI, ROY.
YOU GOT TIME FOR
A CUP OF COFFEE
THIS MORNING?
Roy: SORRY.
THE MAIL
CAN'T WAIT.
NOW, YOU KNOW
THE GOVERNMENT READS
ALL YOUR MAIL, RIGHT?
THEN THEY RESEAL
ENVELOPES IN TIJUANA.
TIJUANA, MEXICO.
THAT'S HOW THEM JACK-BOOTED
GOVERNMENT LACKEYS
STAY IN POWER.
I LOVE A MAN IN UNIFORM.
MM MM MM MM MM!
YOU'D LOVE A MAN
IN ANYTHING.
BILL!
HA HA!
WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?
THERE YOU GO, FELLAS.
GOOD LUCK ON
THE LAKE TODAY.
Gus: THAT WITCH. I TOLD
YOU SHE WAS NO GOOD.
HEY, GUYS!
WHAT HAVE I TOLD
YOU ABOUT KEEPING
YOUR VOICES DOWN
WHEN YOU'RE WATCHING
SOAP OPERAS?
SORRY, BILL.
IT'S JUST THA REBECCA JUST LEFT HER
COMATOSE HUSBAND.
AND NOW SHE'S
SLEEPING WITH
DR. McCARTHY.
ISN'T SHE
DR. McCARTHY'S SISTER?
OK. YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS IS A BAIT SHOP.
WE SHOULD BE
WATCHING SPORTS.
THERE'S GOT TO BE
A GAME ON OR SOMETHING.
OH, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.
IT'S PARADISE LAKE.
WELL, AIN'T THA A COINCIDENCE.
THAT'S
THE SAME NAME
AS OUR LAKE.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS COINCIDENCE.
SHUT UP, YOU IDIOTS.
I WANT TO HEAR THIS.
TV: WE'RE AT THE PARADISE
LAKE INVITATIONAL,
ONE OF THE PREMIER EVENTS
ON THE PRO BASSMASTERS' TOUR.
IT'S THE BEST FISHERMEN
IN AMERICA COMPETING
FOR A $50,000 PRIZE.
AND AS USUAL, ALL EYES
WILL BE ON BASS FISHING'S
REIGNING BAD BOY,
HOT ROD JOHNSON.
BLESSED WITH A SURGEON'S SKILL
AND THE MENTALITY OF
AN ASSASSIN,
HOT ROD IS QUITE SIMPLY
THE GREATEST BASS FISHERMAN
IN THE WORLD TODAY.
PART SHOWMAN, PART SAMURAI,
H.R.J. IS THAT NEW BREED
OF PRO ATHLETE
THAT WORKS HARD
BUT PARTIES HARDER.
MORE THAN JUST A MAN,
THIS AMERICAN ORIGINAL
KNOWS ONLY ONE WAY TO LIVE,
ON THE EDGE.
[TURNS OFF TV]
HE IS THE MAN.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
HE IS EVERYTHING THAT IS
WRONG WITH FISHING TODAY.
RIGHT. WE SHOULD
KILL HIM, BILL.
WHO'S WITH ME?
Bill: AS I WAS SAYING,
THIS SPORT IS ALL ABOU MAN VERSUS FISH.
TECHNOLOGY HAS TAKEN
ALL THE SKILL OUT OF IT.
ECHO SOUNDERS,
G.P.S. UNITS.
I'D LIKE TO SEE
HOW GOOD HE IS WITHOU ALL THOSE GIZMOS.
OH, COME ON, BILL.
HE IS GOOD.
PLEASE! HOT ROD JOHNSON
IS A JOKE, A REAL FRAUD.
IF HE EVER STEPS FOO IN THIS STORE,
I'LL TELL HIM THA RIGHT TO HIS SORRY FACE.
WHAT?
HE'S IN THE STORE,
ISN'T HE?
OH, HEY.
HELP YOU?
THAT'S THE GREAT THING
ABOUT LIVING IN THE GOOD
OLD U.S. OF A., GUYS.
EVERYBODY'S ENTITLED
TO THEIR OWN OPINION,
EVEN IF THEY'RE WRONG.
[LAUGHTER]
HOT ROD JOHNSON
REPORTING FOR DUTY.
GOOD AMERICAN
AND FISHING ICON.
I'M A TREMENDOUS
FAN, MR. JOHNSON.
YOU'RE A PERSONAL
HERO OF MINE.
I GET THAT ALL THE TIME.
AND, PLEASE,
CALL ME HOT ROD.
HEH HEH!
AH, LISTEN,
THAT WHOLE...
[CHUCKLES
NERVOUSLY]
YOU KNOW, I DIDN' KNOW YOU WERE...
NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE.
OK.
HOT ROD DON'T NEED
EVERYBODY TO LOVE HIM.
[LAUGHTER]
YOU KNOW WHA I'M GONNA DO?
AFTER I WIN
THIS TOURNAMENT,
I'M GONNA STOP IN, YOU CAN
BUY AN AUTOGRAPHED PHOTO.
Odd Job: HEY!
YOU COULD HANG
THAT UP
NEXT TO YOUR
TROPHIES, BILL.
YEAH.
OH, LOOK AT THOSE.
[LOW WHISTLE]
NOT BAD...
FOR AN AMATEUR.
HEY, WHY DON'T YOU
GET BUSY AND LOAD
A CASE OF THAT BEER
IN THE BACK OF
MY BOAT?
HOT ROD'S GO TO GO SIGN SOME
AUTOGRAPHS, OK?
THAT...
IS A GREAT GUY.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
HE'S GORGEOUS.
HE'S EVEN BETTER-LOOKING
IN PERSON.
[IMITATING GUS]
HE'S EVEN BETTER-LOOKING
IN PERSON.
HOT ROD JOHNSON.
[IMITATING HOT ROD]
GREAT AMERICAN HERO,
FISHING ICON.
SON OF A...
SHE'S A BEAUTY,
AIN'T SHE?
WHOA. LOOKS LIKE
YOUR SHOP'S WHERE
BOATS COME TO DIE.
A LITTLE ADVICE
FROM A PRO.
TAKING CARE OF
YOUR EQUIPMENT IS
AN INTEGRAL PAR OF CHAMPIONSHIP
BASS FISHING.
[ALL SPEAKING EXCITEDLY]
[CLEARS THROAT]
NOW, THAT WAS EXCITING.
A REAL CELEBRITY
HERE IN THE STORE.
YEAH. I ALMOS FAINTED.
JUNK, JUNK, JUNK.
BILL. BANK?
I WONDER WHAT THEY WANT.
OH, MY GOSH. OH, MY GOSH.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
WHAT IS IT?
PARADISE TRUST BANK,
THEY OWE ME $15,000.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
OH, MY GOSH!
I'M GONNA BUY
A NEW TRUCK,
A TRUCK WITH A C--
UH, BILL, THIS SAYS
YOU OWE THE BANK
$15,000.
NO, IT DOESN'T.
IT SAYS RIGHT THERE.
NO, NO.
IT SAYS YOU OWE
A $15,000
BALLOON PAYMEN ON THE MORTGAGE.
IT'S DUE
IN ONE WEEK.
A WEEK? BUT I WAS
GONNA BUY A NEW TRUCK.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
DOES LAURA KNOW
ABOUT THIS?
LAURA?
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IN EVERY MAN'S LIFE,
THERE COMES A DAY
WHEN HE IS FACED
WITH GREAT ADVERSITY.
AND THE BEST WAY FOR
HIM TO DEAL WITH IT IS
JUST TO GO TO
THE ONES HE LOVES
AND LIE TO THEM.
WHAT SHE DON'T KNOW
WON'T HURT HER.
BILL!
HOW ABOUT GIVING
ME A HAND?
OH, VERY FUNNY.
I'M BORED.
WELL, I'VE GO THE CURE FOR THAT.
TOMORROW YOU'RE GONNA
START YOUR JOB DOWN
AT THE BAIT SHOP.
MOM!
NO ARGUMENTS.
YOU'RE NOT LAYING AROUND
THIS HOUSE ALL SUMMER.
BESIDES, I THINK IT'S
IMPORTANT FOR A YOUNG MAN
TO SPEND TIME
WITH HIS FATHER,
LEARNING FROM A POSITIVE
MALE ROLE MODEL.
DID SOMEBODY SAY
"POSITIVE MALE
ROLE MODEL"?
GRANDPA!
HEY, KIDDO!
XBOX. AND I
KNOW HOW YOU LOVE
YOUR VIDEO GAMES.
THANKS, GRANDPA.
THIS IS AWESOME.
DADDY, PLEASE STOP
SPOILING HIM.
IF I DON'T,
WHO WILL?
I'M GONNA LOSE
THE BAIT SHOP.
DO YOU WAN A BEER?
DID YOU HEAR
WHAT I SAID?
YEAH, I HEARD YOU.
SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
THE PROBLEM IS I OWE
THE BANK $15,000.
BOY, THAT'S
A LOT OF MONEY.
I'M GLAD I'M OU OF THAT BUSINESS.
THAT BAIT SHOP WAS
ALWAYS A PAIN
IN MY REAR END.
YOU MIGHT HAVE MENTIONED
THAT TO ME BEFORE
I BOUGHT THE PLACE.
SHOOT. IT WASN' ALL THAT BAD.
I GOT A LOT OF WOMEN
BECAUSE OF THAT PLACE.
TOTAL CHICK MAGNET.
BUT I DOUBT THAT NOTICE
WAS THE FIRST ONE
YOU GOT FROM THE BANK.
NO. THERE WAS ONE
OR TWO...
OR 12.
I JUST FIGURED BUSINESS
WOULD PICK UP
AND I'D BE ABLE
TO HANDLE IT.
THAT'S
QUITE A PROBLEM.
I KNOW. THAT'S WHY
I'M HERE, BUDDY.
YOU'VE ALWAYS
BEEN MY FRIEND,
MY MENTOR, MY YODA.
WHAT?
NOTHING.
BUDDY, CAN I
BORROW $15,000?
YOU GIVE A MAN A FISH
AND HE'LL EAT ALL DAY.
YOU TEACH HIM
TO FISH AND HE'LL EA FOR A LIFETIME.
YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.
SO WHEN CAN I GE THE MONEY?
I'M NOT GONNA GIVE
YOU THE MONEY, BILL.
HOW'S LAURA TAKING
ALL THIS?
OH, YOU KNOW HER.
SHE'S MY ROCK.
ACTS LIKE THERE'S
NOTHING WRONG...
YOU GOT TO DEAL WITH
IT YOURSELF, BILL.
LIKE SHE DOESN' KNOW A THING.
SO HOW WAS
YOUR DAY TODAY?
GREAT.
EVERYTHING'S GREAT.
COULDN'T BE BETTER.
SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA
TELL ME THE BIG NEWS.
NEWS?
THERE--THERE WAS
NO NEWS,
PARTICULARLY
NO BAD NEWS...
OR ANY GOOD NEWS
EITHER.
YOU KNOW, NO NEWS IS
GOOD NEWS, RIGHT?
REALLY? BECAUSE
I RAN INTO BETTY
IN THE SUPERMARKET.
YOU DID?
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGH THAT HOT ROD JOHNSON
WOULD SHOW UP
AT THE BAIT SHOP?
THAT MUST HAVE BEEN
A THRILL!
OH, YEAH, HE'S
A REAL--
A REAL-LIFE CELEBRITY.
BOY, THAT'S EXCITING.
AND HE'S HOT.
YEAH. REALLY EXCITING.
HONEY, LOOK, I GO TO TALK TO YOU.
I GOT A--
BY THE WAY,
DAD CAME BY TODAY.
OH, GREAT. ALL HAIL
THE MATTRESS KING.
WHAT DID HE WANT?
DON'T WORRY. I TOLD
HIM TO STOP PUSHING YOU
ABOUT THAT JOB OFFER.
I'M PROUD OF YOU
AND WHAT YOU'VE DONE
WITH THE BAIT SHOP.
YOU'VE BUILT IT UP
FROM NOTHING,
AND THAT SAYS A LOT ABOU YOUR BUSINESS SKILLS.
YEAH. I'M
REALLY TALENTED.
I KNOW.
AND I THINK IT'S GREA THAT SCOTT'S GONNA BE
SPENDING TIME WITH YOU
DOWN AT THE SHOP.
HE'S SO EXCITED.
HE IS?
THIS SUCKS.
Gus: AH, QUIT YOUR
WHINING, BOY.
YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW GOOD YOU HAVE IT.
Melvin: THAT'S
RIGHT. WHEN I WAS
YOUR AGE, WE...
HEY, WHO AM I
KIDDING?
I DON'T REMEMBER
ANY OF IT.
WELL, I DO.
WE DIDN'T HAVE THE LUXURIES
THIS PUNK TAKES FOR GRANTED.
DIDN'T HAVE NO INTERNOT,
NO CABLE TV, NO COMPUTERS.
HECK, GROWING UP
BACK THEN SUCKED.
AH, THERE'S MY BOY.
AHH! THE SMELL OF
FISH DETRITUS.
THAT WONDERFUL AROMA
IS UNIQUE TO THIS BUSINESS.
NOTHING BETTER
THAN A FATHER AND HIS SON
WORKING SIDE BY SIDE, HUH?
YEAH, HOW ABOU A BREAK?
WE JUST GOT STARTED.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
MAYBE LATER ON, I'LL
TAKE YOU OUT ON THE LAKE,
AND ME AND YOU WILL
GO CATCH SOME FISH.
YOU KNOW, DAD,
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
MAYBE IT'S TIME YOU
GOT YOURSELF
A NEW BOAT.
I'VE BEEN READING UP
ON THE NEW XL SERIES--
21 FEET AND FULLY LOADED
WITH A 250 ENGINE, G.P.S.,
AND AN E.S. ECHO SOUNDER.
YOU SEE, SON,
THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
TECHNOLOGY
IS TAKING ALL
THE SKILL OUT OF IT.
YOU CAN'T RESPEC A BASS WITH ALL
THESE GIZMOS.
THE REAL
SATISFACTION COMES
WHEN YOU GE THAT BIG BASS
AFTER YOU'VE WORKED
REALLY HARD FOR IT.
HEY, GUYS, THE GRAND
OPENING IS STARTING.
HOW ABOUT WE HEAD
OVER AND SEE WHA THE BUZZ IS ABOUT?
YEAH! COME ON, DAD.
HEY, BILL...
OH, HEY, BUDDY,
SORRY. NO CHANGE.
IT'S ME--DALE.
DEEP COVER.
DALE, GET A GRIP.
THESE PEOPLE
AREN'T FEMA, OK?
I KNOW. IT'S A LO WORSE THAN THAT.
YOU SEE THAT GUY
UP THERE?
YEAH.
I'VE HAD HIM UNDER
SURVEILLANCE
FOR A MONTH,
AND THAT IS PURE
AL QAEDA.
HA HA! AL QAEDA?
THAT'S DONNIE RAINS,
THE WEATHERMAN
FROM CHANNEL 8.
OPEN YOUR EYES,
BILL.
THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT OSAMA WANTS
YOU TO THINK.
BOY, YOU DO HAVE
A PLATE IN YOUR HEAD,
DON'T YOU?
SO?
HEY.
HEY.
HEY. THANKS, BETTY.
I HOPE THEY'RE
GOOD NEIGHBORS.
YEAH.
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL,
NOT LIKE
YOUR PLACE, BILL,
WITH ALL THOSE ROTTED
BOARDS IN BACK ON THE DOCK.
OF COURSE, THEY DO GIVE
YOUR PLACE A CERTAIN
HOMEY CHARM.
I GOT YOUR CHARM
RIGHT HERE.
HELLO, PARADISE.
HELLO!
IS EVERYONE ENJOYING
THE FESTIVITIES?
HERE WE GO!
Donnie Rains: THAT'S
GREAT BECAUSE WE'RE
JUST GETTING STARTED.
SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO,
LET'S BRING OU OUR GUEST OF HONOR.
THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
YOU KNOW HIM.
YOU LOVE HIM.
YOU JUST CAN'T LIVE
WITHOUT HIM.
THE HARDEST WORKING MAN
IN BASS FISHING.
GIVE IT UP FOR HOT ROD JOHNSON!
Odd Job: THAT'S RIGHT!
YOU KNOW IT.
HOT ROD! HOT ROD!
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
IT'S REALLY HIM. COOL.
OH, MY GOSH.
HOT ROD JOHNSON'S MAKING
OUT WITH MY WIFE.
THAT'S AWESOME!
[APPLAUSE]
Hot Rod: WOW! LOOK A ALL THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE.
THANK YOU, FOLKS.
THANK YOU.
WHAT A JERK.
SHH! DAD.
WHILE GREAT AMERICAN
HEROES LIKE MYSELF ARE
CONSTANTLY UNDER ATTACK,
I VOW BEFORE YOU GREA CITIZENS OF PARADISE
TO STAND TALL
BECAUSE THIS IS THE LAND
OF THE FREE AND THE HOME
OF THE BRAVE.
AIN'T THAT RIGHT, AMERICA?
YOU ARE A TRUE
PATRIOT, HOT ROD.
NOW, WHAT DO YOU
SAY WE GIVE
THESE FOLKS
WHAT THEY CAME
TO SEE?
WHAT KIND OF STORE
DO YOU THINK THIS IS, BILL?
OH, YOU KNOW
THESE C-LIS CELEBRITIES.
THEY SLAP
THEIR NAME
ON ANYTHING.
PROBABLY
A TANNING SALON
OR A YOGUR SHOP.
...BUT NOT BEFORE WE
GET A LITTLE HELP FROM
THIS GREAT CROWD.
OH, I THINK WE
CAN DO THAT.
AND...
All: 3, 2, 1.
[CROWD CHEERS]
HOT ROD JOHNSON'S PRO
FISHING EMPORIUM,
THE FLAGSHIP STORE OF
MY NATIONWIDE FRANCHISE.
OH, DEAR!
IT IS BEAUTIFUL.
AWESOME.
NO, IT'S NOT.
CAN'T BE.
I--I WON'T LET IT.
BILL, ARE
YOU OK?
[WEAKLY]
UH-HUH.
[THUD]
Hot Rod: FOLKS,
ARE YOU READY TO GO
TO THE NEXT PLATEAU
WITH THE ULTIMATE
BASS FISHING BOATS?
HOW ABOUT YOU, SIR?
ARE YOU READY?
I--I GUESS SO.
YOU GUESS?
THE SUPERIOR FISHABILITY
OF THIS BOAT IS
A GIVEN.
AFTER ALL, I DRIVE ONE.
BUT ITS SUPREME
PERFORMANCE TRULY IS
WHAT SETS IT APAR FROM THE COMPETITION.
HEY, LISTEN, XL SERIES,
IT'S NOT FOR EVERYBODY.
BUT BY GOSH, IT MIGH JUST BE FOR YOU.
MY WIFE DOES NEED
THAT SURGERY.
Man: AH, HECK WITH IT.
I'LL TAKE IT.
GOOD CALL.
SIGN HIM UP.
WOW. THA WAS INCREDIBLE.
HOOKED HIM LIKE
A BIG MOUTH BASS.
OF COURSE, IF HE
CAN'T AFFORD IT,
I'LL JUST REPOSSESS IT.
SO IT'S REALLY A WIN-WIN
SITUATION FOR ME.
HOT ROD JOHNSON
REPORTING FOR DUTY.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME,
LITTLE MAN?
SCOTT.
SCOTT, FOLLOW ME.
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU
THE GRAND TOUR.
IS HE DEAD?
EVERYONE, STAND BACK. CLEAR!
OH!
OHH! I JUST HAD
THE WORST NIGHTMARE.
I DREAMT THA HOT ROD JOHNSON OPENED UP
THE BIGGEST FISHING
STORE I'D EVER SEEN RIGH ACROSS THE STREET.
BOY, THAT WOULD HAVE
BEEN THE FINAL NAIL
IN MY COFFIN.
AND THAT IS HANDS DOWN
THE GREATEST STORE
I HAVE EVER SEEN.
IT IS HEAVEN, PURE HEAV--
[OVER P.A. IN DISTANCE]
AND I GOT THE WINNING
TICKET HERE--NUMBER...
AND BY "HEAVEN," I MEAN
A DUMP, DIRTY.
PROBABLY GOT RATS IN THERE.
JUST TAKE I EASY, BILL.
EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE OK.
Odd Job: WELL, SURE IT IS.
EXCEPT FOR THE MOTHER OF
ALL FISHING STORES OPENING
UP ACROSS THE STREE AND THAT 15 GRAND YOU OWE
THE BANK,
YOU GOT NO PROBLEMS
TO SPEAK OF.
THEY'RE YOUR
FRIENDS, BILL.
I THOUGH THEY COULD HELP.
HELP? HOW?
BY SELLING A KIDNEY?
WHY? YOU NEED
A KIDNEY?
GIVE ME
12 HOURS.
ANYBODY HERE
SPEAK SPANISH?
YOU KNOW WHAT?
HE WANTS TO MESS WITH
BILL DUGAN? FINE.
BRING IT ON.
A LITTLE COMPETITION
NEVER HURT ANYBODY.
THAT'S
THE SPIRIT, BILL.
YEAH! IT'S ALWAYS...
DARKEST BEFORE THE DAWN.
THAT'S RIGHT. THA IS EXACTLY RIGHT.
MY DADDY DIDN' RAISE A QUITTER.
YOU KNOW WHAT? LOOK
AT THIS PLACE.
IT'S WORTH MORE THAN 15 GRAND.
I PUT MY BLOOD, SWEAT,
AND TEARS INTO THIS SHOP.
I'M GONNA GO DOWN
TO THAT BANK,
I'M GONNA FORCE THEM
TO GIVE ME A DEAL.
THEY'LL BE SORRY THEY EVER
HEARD THE NAME BILL DUGAN.
Dale: THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU GO GET 'EM, KILLER.
BILL, BILL, BILL...
All: BILL, BILL, BILL, BILL!
BILL, BILL!
BILL--
BI--
HE AIN'T GONNA GE THAT MONEY, IS HE?
NO A CHANCE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? BLUE?
[CLOCK CHIMES]
YOU MAKE NO MISTAKE.
I DON'T CARE WHO
THEY ARE.
THEY MISS ONE MORE
PAYMENT, THEY'RE OU ON THE STREET.
GOOD MORNING, SIR.
HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
UH, I'M A LONG-TIME
CUSTOMER OF THIS BANK,
AND I JUST WONDERED,
IS THERE ANY WAY I CAN GE A LITTLE WIGGLE ROOM
ON THAT BALLOON PAYMENT?
OH, YOU MEAN LIKE
AN EXTENSION?
YEAH, YEAH!
YEAH, WE DON' DO THAT HERE.
WELL, COME ON, MAN.
THERE'S GOT TO BE
SOMETHING WE CAN DO
TO EASE THIS SITUATION.
PERSONALLY, I FIND
LAP DANCES TO BE
A GREAT STRESS
RELIEVER,
BUT AS FAR AS TERMS
OF THE LOAN GO,
IT'S PRETTY CU AND DRIED.
WE NEED OUR MONEY.
LOOK, I'VE BEEN A LOYAL
CUSTOMER OF THIS BANK
FOR OVER 20 YEARS.
SO DON'T TELL ME THERE'S
NOTHING WE CAN DO--
MR. DUGAN, PLEASE.
NO, NO. DON'T GIVE ME
THAT ATTITUDE.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE JUS A DANCING CHIMP.
GO GET YOUR BOSS BECAUSE
I'M NOT LEAVING THIS BANK
TILL I GET SOME
SATISFACTION.
YEAH, NICE WAY
TO TREAT YOUR CUSTOMERS.
HEY, YOU AIN' ROBBING THE
PLACE, ARE YOU?
NO! MAKING A DEPOSIT.
BUSINESS IS BOOMING.
YOU SELL BAIT.
NO, YOU KNOW
WHAT I DO?
I SERVICE AN EXPLODING
DEMOGRAPHIC.
BASS FISHING IS
THE FASTEST-GROWING
SPORT IN AMERICA.
OVER 100,000 PEOPLE A YEAR
VISIT PARADISE LAKE.
THAT'S MY CUSTOMER BASE.
OVER 300 MILLION
AMERICANS SLEEP.
THAT'S MY
CUSTOMER BASE.
I'M RAKING IT IN.
I'D LIKE TO PU YOU TO SLEEP.
IDIOT.
HEY, HEY! HE IS
THE SULTAN OF SLEEP.
AH, AH!
THE MATTRESS KING.
YOU JUST MISSED
YOUR SON-IN-LAW.
AH.
TOUGH BREAK.
PROBLEMS?
[INDISTINCT P.A. ANNOUNCEMENTS]
I FEEL KIND OF
GUILTY,
LIKE WE'RE
CHEATING ON BILL.
WE'RE DOING HIM A FAVOR.
WE'RE THE INSIDE MEN
GETTING THE LAY
OF THE LAND. SPIES.
KNEW THAT C.I.A. FANTASY
CAMP WOULD PAY OFF.
THIS STORE
AIN'T HALF BAD.
WHAT THE HECK ARE
YOU WEARING?
YOU LOOK LIKE A MORON.
THE REST ROOM IN
THIS PLACE BLOWS BILL'S
ENTIRE STORE AWAY.
I CAN LIVE IN THERE.
Gus: HEY, BILL.
THIS IS SOME WEATHER
WE'RE HAVING, HUH?
YEAH, I GUESS.
BILL, YOU WAN ME TO GO OU AND FIX
THOSE ROTTED
BOARDS?
YEAH, I GUESS.
Dale: HEY, BILL...
DO YOU ADVOCATE THE OVERTHROW
OF THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT?
YEAH, I GUESS.
WELL, THIS AIN'T GOOD.
Betty:
HEY, FELLAS.
HOW DID IT GO
AT THE BANK?
NOT WELL.
BILL, I'M SORRY.
IT'S OVER.
THERE'S NOTHING
I CAN DO ABOUT IT.
I'LL PROBABLY HAVE
TO MOVE INTO A TRAILER
ACROSS THE TRACK.
LAURA AND SCOTT WILL
BECOME MIGRANT WORKERS.
AND OBVIOUSLY, I'M NO GONNA BE ABLE TO WORK
BECAUSE OF
THAT STRESS THING.
BUT WHAT ABOU THESE POOR LOSERS?
THEY LOOK UP TO ME.
WHO ARE THEY GONNA
RALLY AROUND
WHEN I'M NOT HERE?
CAN A FELLA GET A BEER
AROUND HERE?
BUDDY!
HEY, BUDDY!
I THINK THEY'LL MANAGE.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
LONG TIME,
NO SEE.
THANKS, BETTY.
AND THAT'S WHEN
I SAID,
"THAT AIN'T A BASS,
DARLING.
AND IT'LL COS YOU $25."
[LAUGHTER]
BILL, DID YOU FIGURE
OUT THAT THING WE
WAS TALKING ABOUT?
YEAH. 15 GRAND IN
A WEEK IS IMPOSSIBLE.
HEY, I GOT IT.
I JUST GO AN E-MAIL FROM
A NIGERIAN PRINCE
WITH AN INCREDIBLE
BUSINESS
OPPORTUNITY.
HE JUST NEEDS
OUR SOCIAL
SECURITY NUMBERS
TO GET STARTED.
YOU ARE AN IDIOT.
YOU KNOW,
I WAS THINKING...
OH, LORD.
NO, HEAR ME OUT.
HOW ABOUT ENTERING
IN THE PARADISE LAKE
INVITATIONAL?
IT'S A PRO
TOURNAMENT, YOU DOPE.
I'M NOT ELIGIBLE.
Buddy: THAT'S NO EXACTLY TRUE, BILL.
I FOUNDED THAT AMATEUR
TOURNAMENT.
AND WHEN IT TURNED PRO,
WE MADE AN AGREEMEN IT WOULD BE OPEN
TO ALL FORMER CHAMPIONS.
BILL, THAT MAKES
YOU ELIGIBLE.
AND THE GRAND PRIZE
FOR WINNING IS $50,000.
NOW, GUYS, GUYS,
GUYS, I HAVEN' FISHED COMPETITIVELY
IN YEARS.
HEY, IT'S LIKE
RIDING A BIKE, BILL.
YOU WERE A 5-TIME
CHAMPION.
IT'D TAKE A HECK OF
A FISHERMAN TO BEAT YOU.
I'M THE GREATEST FISHERMAN
IN ALL THE WORLD, SCOTT.
IT MUST BE A REAL
HONOR FOR YOU TO
HANG OUT WITH ME.
I SUPPOSE YOU
LOVE BASS FISHING.
IT'S OK.
"IT'S OK"?
SON, YOU SEE
THIS MERCEDES?
PAID FOR WITH
BASS FISHING.
THIS WATCH? BASS FISHING.
MY MONTHLY
BOTOX INJECTIONS?
BASS FISHING.
COOL.
YOU DANG RIGH IT'S COOL, SON.
I TELL YOU, YOU GO TO GET WITH THE HOT ROD
RULES OF THE ROAD.
RULE NUMBER ONE--
MONEY IS THE MOS IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE.
WHAT ABOUT FAMILY
AND FRIENDS?
OH, HECK, MAN.
YOU GOT MONEY, YOU
CAN BUY THOSE THINGS.
LOOK, I LIKE YOU, SCOTT.
AND HOT ROD DOESN' HAVE ANY KIDS.
WELL, HE'S GOT SOME,
BUT HIS ROLE IS MORE
FINANCIAL IN NATURE.
HE'S LOOKING FOR A PROTGE
TO FOLLOW IN HIS FOOTSTEPS.
YOU GOT ANY INTERES IN THE JOB?
SURE. WHAT DO
I HAVE TO DO?
BE HERE TOMORROW
AT 6:00.
LATER, TATER.
Betty: MAYBE
ONE OF US SHOULD
GO IN THERE.
IT'S BEEN OVER
AN HOUR.
OK, I JUST NEED SOME
C-4 TO BLOW THE HINGES
OFF THE DOOR.
LEAVE HIM BE.
SOMETIMES IT'S HELPFUL
FOR A MAN TO LOCK HIMSELF
IN HIS CLOSE AND HAVE A GOOD CRY.
Odd Job:
IT ALWAYS HELPS ME.
Melvin: I'D LIKE
TO BE THE NEXT TO GO
IN THE CRYING ROOM
IF IT'S ALL RIGH WITH Y'ALL.
[BILL WHISTLES]
WHAT ARE Y'ALL STARING AT?
WE'RE
JUST WORRIED
ABOUT YOU.
Bill: OH! WELL,
DON'T, MY FRIENDS,
BECAUSE I'M A MAN
WITH A PLAN.
Odd Job:
SO YOU'RE GONNA DO IT?
YOU'RE GONNA ENTER
THE TOURNAMENT?
OH, NO. THAT'S CRAZY.
THOSE GUYS
ARE PROFESSIONALS.
I'M AN AMATEUR.
I GOT NO CHANCE
TO WIN THAT CASH.
YOU MIGHT IF YOU
KILLED A FEW OF THEM.
Betty: DALE!
LAUGH IT UP, BUT THAT'S
HOW MISS GUATEMALA
BECAME MISS UNIVERSE.
SEE, I JUST NEEDED
SOME TIME TO WRAP I AROUND IN MY HEAD.
YOU KNOW,
LOOK AT THE PROBLEM
LOGICALLY.
AND THEN IT HIT ME.
IT WAS SO OBVIOUS,
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I DIDN'T THINK
OF IT BEFORE.
YOU WANT TO LET US IN
ON THIS PLAN OR WHAT?
YEAH. I'M GONNA TAKE
SCOTT'S COLLEGE
FUND, GO TO VEGAS,
PUT I ALL ON BLACK.
[BILL CHUCKLES]
MAYBE RED. NO,
DEFINITELY BLACK.
BILL, THAT'S
THE DUMBES THING
I'VE EVER HEARD.
HEY, DAD.
HEY.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
TALKING ABOUT?
NOTHING.
SON, YOU MAY WANT TO STAR LOOKING INTO TRADE SCHOOLS.
LET'S GO, SON.
YOU KNOW, SON, IT WAS
JUST GREAT SPENDING
TIME WITH YOU TODAY.
YEAH, I KNOW YOU
DON'T THINK
YOUR DAD'S
THE COOLEST GUY
IN TOWN,
BUT IT WASN' SO BAD, WAS IT?
ACTUALLY, I WAS
THINKING WE COULD GO
TO THE BAIT SHOP
A BIT EARLY TOMORROW,
MAYBE AROUND 6:00.
REALLY. NO KIDDING.
YEAH, I MEAN,
I'M STARTING TO SEE
A WHOLE DIFFERENT SIDE
OF THE FISHING BUSINESS.
THAT'S GREAT, SON.
I DIDN'T THINK
YOU'D EVER TAKE
AN INTERES IN WHAT I DO.
IT'S GOOD FOR A BOY
TO HAVE A POSITIVE
MALE ROLE MODEL.
HEY, LOOK!
GRANDPA'S HERE.
Bill, weakly:
OH, GREAT.
OH, WOW, DAD! COME
AND CHECK THIS OUT.
SEE WHAT GRANDPA GOT US.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS.
WE ARE NOT--NO.
NO. IS IT HIGH DEF?
I AM GLAD YOU LIKE IT.
YEAH, I WAS DOWN
AT THE STORE,
I GOT TO THINKING.
WHAT'S THE USE OF
HAVING MONEY UNLESS
YOU CAN BUY THINGS
FOR THOSE YOU LOVE?
I'LL BET YOU'RE
ALWAYS SURPRISING
SCOTT AND LAURA
WITH EXPENSIVE
GIFTS, EH?
YES, LAST WEEK, I BOUGH HER AN ELECTRIC RAZOR.
I HAVE TO TELL YOU,
I KNOW I'VE BEEN
HARD ON YOU
ABOUT THE BAIT SHOP
AND COMING TO
WORK FOR ME,
BUT TODAY,
I REALIZED YOU'RE
A GREAT BUSINESSMAN.
I SHOULD JUS LEAVE YOU ALONE.
YOU DID?
I WAS THINKING OF MAKING
YOU A NO-INTEREST LOAN.
YOU COULD FIX UP
THINGS AT THE SHOP,
BUT I HEAR EVERYTHING
IS SO GREAT,
YOU GOT I UNDER CONTROL.
WELL, THANKS. YEAH.
I--WAIT.
A LOAN?
YEAH. ABOUT 20,000 OR SO.
THEN IT HIT ME.
THAT WOULD BE AN INSUL TO A GREAT ENTREPRENEUR
LIKE YOU ARE.
SEE YOU.
I MEANT TO ASK YOU,
DAD SAID HE SAW YOU
AT THE BANK TODAY.
YEAH, YEAH.
I WAS DOWN THERE.
I WAS TRYING TO
MAXIMIZE OUR PROFITS
BY INVESTING IN--
PLEASE. DAD TOLD ME
ABOUT THE $15,000
WE OWE THE BANK!
HOW COULD YOU KEEP
THIS FROM ME?
SWEETIE, I WAS
GONNA TELL YOU WHEN
THE TIME WAS RIGHT.
SURE. DAD SAYS THAT--
"OH, MY DAD SAYS"!
ENOUGH WITH
YOUR DAD.
EVERY DAY I'M
AT THAT BAIT SHOP
BUSTING MY HUMP
JUST TO TRY TO KEEP
IT TOGETHER.
AND IT'D BE NICE
IF I COULD GET JUS A LITTLE SUPPOR AROUND HERE.
[TEARFULLY]
I'VE BEEN SUPPORTIVE,
AND IN TURN, YOU LIE TO ME.
DAD?
YEAH.
MOM SAID YOU
LIED TO HER.
WELL, YOUR MOM AND I
HAD A LITTLE DISAGREEMENT.
BUT I DIDN'T LIE.
NOT EXACTLY.
MAYBE I WITHHELD
PERTINENT INFORMATION
AND PRESENTED CERTAIN
FACTS IN A WAY
TO SPIN THE STORY
FOR MY BENEFI BUT ONLY IN A FASHION
THAT WOULD PREVEN THAT MARITAL DISCORD.
SO YOU LIED.
YEAH. TECHNICALLY,
YES, I LIED.
BUT THERE WERE
CIRCUMSTANCES
THAT YOU JUST--
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHEN YOU GET OLDER,
YOU'LL UNDERSTAND.
Bill: TODAY
IS OUR DAY.
ME AND MY BOY
SPENDING A LITTLE
TIME TOGETHER.
WHATEVER YOU WAN TO DO TODAY, SON,
YOU NAME IT.
SURE, DAD. I'LL SEE
YOU IN A LITTLE WHILE.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WHERE YOU GOING?
UM, I'M GOING
TO MEET A FRIEND.
I'LL BE BACK LATER.
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL SEE YOU.
GANG, I'M GONNA DO IT.
I'M GONNA ENTER
THAT TOURNAMENT,
AND I AM GONNA
WIN THAT $50,000.
Gus: ALL RIGHT.
GOOD FOR YOU, BILL.
YEAH, I STARTED
THINKING ABOUT IT.
I'M A GOOD
FISHERMAN.
A LITTLE BI OF PRACTICE,
THAT PRIZE MONEY IS
AS GOOD AS MINE.
HE'S FINALLY CRACKED.
SAD.
I HEARD THAT.
BUT THAT'S OK,
BECAUSE MY BOY
BELIEVES IN ME.
AS LONG AS MY BOY STILL
BELIEVES IN ME,
THERE'S NO WAY I CAN LOSE.
I WANT MY MULLET BACK
BACK
BACK, BACK
YEAH!
YEAH!
ALL RIGHT!
COME ON, Y'ALL
YOU'RE THE GREATES FISHERMAN IN THE WORLD.
I KNOW. I'LL GIVE
YOU A LITTLE
ADVICE, SCOTTY.
FISHING IS WAR.
YOU MUST BE PREPARED
BOTH MENTALLY
AND PHYSICALLY...
FOR YOUR BATTLE
WITH THE BASS.
CLIMB ABOARD, SON.
HOT ROD'S GOT SOMETHING
HE WANTS TO SHOW YOU.
HOLD MY ROD.
I GOT THIS BABY
CUSTOMIZED.
IT'S ALL HERE.
BESIDES TWIN
MERCURY MOTORS,
IT'S GOT CD, DVD,
G.P.S., TIVO,
WIRELESS INTERNET,
AND PLAYSTATION ONE,
2, AND 3.
IT'S THE BOMB.
WOW!
"WOW" IS RIGHT.
NOW, HOW ABOUT WE
TAKE HER OUT FOR
A LITTLE SPIN
AND GET SOME
FISHING IN?
UM, NOW?
I KIND OF HAVE
TO GO TO WORK.
WORK? WORK IS
FOR LOSERS.
HOT ROD'S RULES OF
THE ROAD NUMBER 11.
ALWAYS GE SOMEONE ELSE TO
DO THAT FOR YOU.
OK. LET ME JUST GO
TELL MY DAD--BOSS
AND I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
[SIGHS]
A 4-LETTER WORD--WORK.
HEY, DAD.
HEY, SON, YOU'RE
JUST IN TIME.
I'M JUST HEADING
OUT ON THE LAKE.
WHY DON'T YOU
GO GRAB YOUR ROD
AND I'LL TEACH YOU
SOMETHING?
ACTUALLY, I WANTED TO
GO FISHING WITH A FRIEND,
IF THAT'S OK WITH YOU.
OH. WELL, I THOUGH YOU AND I WERE GONNA--
AH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
NEVER MIND.
GO AHEAD. HAVE SOME FUN.
THANKS, DAD.
ALL RIGHT.
SEE YOU.
COME ON!
IT MIGHT BE TIME TO
UPGRADE TO A BIGGER
MOTOR, DON'T YOU THINK?
NO WAY. THIS
LITTLE MOTOR
HAS SERVED ME
JUST FINE.
THOSE BIG ENGINES
ARE OVERRATED.
HEY, FIX THAT DOCK.
HOO-WHEE!
RULE NUMBER 9--
ALWAYS HAVE A BIG MOTOR.
IF YOU AIN'T GO 225 HORSEPOWER,
YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING.
ISN'T THIS
A NO-WAKE ZONE.
WHEN YOU'RE RICH
AND FAMOUS, RULES
DO NOT APPLY.
WHOO-HOO!
HEY! OH, MY...
WIND IN YOUR FACE.
NOW THIS IS FISHING!
WHOO-HOO!
WHOO-HOO!
YEAH!
OH, NO.
COME ON.
OH!
[DEVICE BEEPING]
HEY, SCOTTY,
JUST CAST YOUR LINE
RIGHT OVER THERE.
WHOA.
WHOO!
GOT IT.
MOTOROLA ECHO 2000.
COME ON...
AIN'T A BASS IN
THE WORLD THA CAN DEFEAT SONAR.
YEAH!
THIS IS AWESOME.
OH, YOU DANG STRAIGH IT'S AWESOME.
MODERN TECHNOLOGY.
SOME FOLKS SAY I TAKES THE SKILL
OUT OF FISHING.
ME, I'D RATHER WIN.
HA HA!
HA HA HA!
WHOO! LET'S
GET A PICTURE
OF THIS BABY.
OH, YES! COME ON, BABY.
HEE HEE!
OH, YOU'RE A BEAST.
COME HERE. OH, DON'T BREAK.
DON'T BREAK. DON'T--
THERE WE--
WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL.
THIS IS THE WORST DAY
OF MY LIFE.
[CHEERING]
YEAH!
YEAH!
OVER THERE, SON.
HA HA!
LIKE THE WAY SHE LETS I LETS IT SHOW
WELL, I LIKE THE WAY
SHE LETS IT
LET IT ROLL
IF YOU NEED A MAN
TO ROLL WITH
BABY, LET ME KNOW
THIS IS THE GREATES DAY OF MY LIFE.
NA NA DA DA DA
WOW. THE GUYS
AT THE PLAN ARE GONNA FREAK
WHEN THEY SEE
THIS PICTURE.
THANKS, HOT ROD.
SURE. THAT'LL BE 5 BUCKS.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
COUGH IT UP. HOT ROD'S
GOT MOUTHS TO FEED.
OH, HERE HE IS--
PARADISE LAKE'S FAVORITE
AMATEUR FISHERMAN.
OH, DON'T TELL ME YOU
CAME BACK EMPTY-HANDED.
YOU DON'T JUST GO
OUT ON THE LAKE
AND CATCH A BASS
ON A WHIM.
IT'S A PROCESS.
UPS AND DOWNS,
EBBS AND FLOWS,
PEAKS AND VALLEYS.
SCOTT?
HEY, DAD.
Hot Rod: HEY, SLOW YOUR ROLL
HERE NOW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS
YOUR KID.
I THOUGHT HE WAS
JUST SOME HOMELESS
STREET URCHIN
IN NEED OF
A LITTLE DIRECTION.
YOU WANT TO TELL
ME WHAT THE HECK
YOU'RE DOING
HANGING OUT WITH
THIS POMPOUS JERK?
DAD, YOU CAN'T JUS COME HERE LIKE THIS.
LOOKS TO ME LIKE HE
WAS CATCHING HIMSELF
A BOATLOAD FULL
OF FISH.
THE BOY'S GO TALENT.
THAT'S WHY
HOT ROD'S MADE
HIM HIS PROTGE.
COME ON, NOW.
LET'S HEAD DOWN
TO MY STORE
AND MAKE US A COUPLE
PROTEIN SMOOTHIES.
HEY, HE'S NO GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU.
DAD, YOU'RE
EMBARRASSING ME!
THIS MAN STANDS FOR
EVERYTHING I'M AGAINST.
HE'S ALL STYLE,
NO SUBSTANCE.
STYLE KICKS
SUBSTANCE'S BUTT.
HOT ROD RULES
OF THE ROAD
NUMBER 17.
COME ON. LET'S GO.
ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?
HE IS A BAD INFLUENCE,
AND I DON'T WANT YOU--
HAVING ANY FUN?
Hot Rod: OH, MAN!
WE DID HAVE FUN,
DIDN'T WE?
WHOO! COME ON.
LET'S GO.
GET IN THAT BAIT SHOP
RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS SO LAME.
HEY!
UH! OHH! GAH!
OH, LOOKIE THERE.
IT LOOKS LIKE STYLE
JUST GAVE SUBSTANCE
ANOTHER SWIFT KICK
IN THE BUTT.
BUT DON'T WORRY.
HOT ROD WILL GIVE
SCOTTY A RIDE HOME.
DAD, YOU OK?
FINE. JUST GO.
ODD JOB!
[HORN HONKING]
YOU ARE NO GONNA BELIEVE
WHAT HAPPENED.
SCOTT IS GROUNDED
FOR A MONTH.
OH, HE IS?
YEAH.
WHEN ARE YOU
GONNA FILL ME IN
ON HOW WE'RE
GONNA COME UP
WITH THE MONEY?
RELAX ABOU THE MONEY.
I GOT IT ALL
FIGURED OUT.
I FOUND
A LOOPHOLE THAT'S
GONNA ALLOW ME
TO EXPLOI MY TALENTS
AND ENTER
THE PARADISE LAKE
TOURNAMENT.
THE 50 GRAND IS
GOOD AS MINE.
SEE? DON'T YOU
FEEL BETTER?
OH, COME ON.
LAURA.
[DOOR KNOB WILL NOT TURN]
YOU KNOW WHAT?
[KNOCK KNOCK]
THAT'S MATURE.
MM-HMM.
I SURE HAVE MESSED
THINGS UP, HAVEN'T I,
BUDDY?
HA HA.
THERE'S A BLAS FROM THE PAST.
[CHUCKLING]
[HORNS HONKING]
READ THIS!
CATCH A BASS. CATCH A BASS.
OH, OH! HEY! WHOA! WHOA!
HOWDY DOODY!
WHOO! HEY!
FISH OR BUY BAIT!
BILL'S BAIT SHOP.
NOT INTERESTED.
OH, UP YOURS.
HEY, HEY. BABY, WE
GOT A SALE THERE
AT BILL'S BAIT SHOP.
A BIG SALE.
OH, I THOUGHT YOU
WORKED FOR HOT ROD.
MY HUSBAND LOVES
THAT GUY.
HOT ROD? HE'S A CREEP.
HEY! WE GO A BIG SALE A BILL'S BAIT SHOP.
RIGHT HERE. WHOA! WHOA!
I DON'T FISH.
YOU DON'T FISH?
WHAT ARE YOU, A COMMUNIST?
[TIRES SCREECH]
WELL, WHAT, YOU WAN A LITTLE PIECE OF FISH?
[PUNCH IS THROWN]
WHAT ARE YOU, SOME
KIND OF FREAK?
NO, I'M NOT A FREAK.
I'M A BASS.
I'M A BASS!
[HORN HONKS]
OH, SHUT UP.
BILL?
OOH!
[THUD]
Man: OH, LORD.
WHAT? YOU NEVER SEEN
A BASS IN A BAR BEFORE?
Hot Rod: I'VE CAUGH A FEW THAT BIG,
BUT NEVER ONE QUITE
THAT UGLY.
WELL, WELL, WELL.
IF IT AIN' THE GREA HOT ROD JOHNSON.
EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY,
BOW YOUR HEADS
AND DON'T MAKE
DIRECT EYE CONTAC BECAUSE HE'S NOT JUS A FISHERMAN,
HE'S A REAL
AMERICAN HERO.
BOY, YOU THINK YOU'RE
JUST SOME KIND OF
TOUGH GUY, DON'T YOU?
YOU BETTER BE
CAREFUL, BILL.
I'VE BEEN KNOWN
TO BRING THE THUNDER.
IS THAT RIGHT?
WELL, I BEEN KNOWN
TO BREAK THE WIND.
Dale: EASY,
EASY, EASY, FELLAS.
SO YOU GUYS WANT TO
GO A COUPLE ROUNDS?
CAN'T YOU GUYS JUS SETTLE THIS LIKE MEN?
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
HOW ABOU A KNIFE FIGHT?
I GOT A BETTER IDEA.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.
SETTLE DOWN.
SEE, THE BE IS FOR $100.
Crowd: OOH!
NOW, HERE'S THE DEAL.
I BET I CAN DOWN
MY 3 BEERS
BEFORE OLD BIG MOUTH BILL
CAN DOWN HIS 3 SHOTS.
OH!
OH!
Bill: HA HA HA!
REALLY?
HUP, HUP. THE ONLY
RULE IS YOU CAN'T TOUCH
THE OTHER MAN'S GLASS.
HA HA. THIS IS GONNA
BE THE EASIEST MONEY
I EVER MADE.
YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE
ALL MINE.
WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
ALL RIGHT.
ON THE COUNT OF 3.
1, 2, 3.
Man: GO, HOT ROD. COME ON.
Dale: THAT'S ONE.
Woman: YEAH!
[BILL CHUCKLES]
Dale: LET'S GO, BILL.
THERE'S TWO.
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
REMEMBER, BILL, YOU
CAN'T TOUCH MY GLASS.
[LAUGHTER]
OH, BABY, HE GO YOU, BILL!
HE IS A GOD.
Hot Rod: WELL, BILL,
I'M REQUIRED BY
THE STATE TO INFORM YOU
THAT THESE HANDS
ARE REGISTERED
AS LETHAL WEAPONS.
SON OF A--
Crowd: OOH!
[YELLS]
[CROWD OHS]
[THUNDER]
OW!
OHH!
[VOMITS]
I FEEL LIKE
BILL LOOKS.
THEN YOU MUST BE
IN A WORLD OF PAIN.
DRINK THIS.
YOU SMELL LIKE A WINO.
WELL, I DRANK
LIKE ONE.
YOU NEED TO
SHAPE UP, BILL.
THE TOURNAMEN STARTS TOMORROW.
I'LL BE FINE.
WHERE'S ODD JOB
AND DALE?
UM, I'M SURE
THEY'RE AROUND.
Bill: OH, I SEE.
LIKE RATS JUMPING
OFF A SINKING SHIP.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHO NEEDS THEM?
IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.
IT'S JUST THAT LATELY
YOU'VE BEEN A LITTLE
BIT HARD TO--
GOOD MORNING.
GOOD MORNING, ROY.
YOU HAVE TIME FOR
A CUP OF COFFEE.
OH, I DON'T THINK
I CAN, BETTY,
WHAT WITH
MY ROUNDS AND ALL.
OH, FOR
THE LOVE OF--
ROY, SHE'S GO THE HOTS FOR YOU.
WHY DO YOU THINK
SHE TRIES TO GIVE
YOU A CUP OF COFFEE
EVERY DAY? DUH.
UM, I'LL SEE
YOU GUYS LATER.
BILL?
I'VE NEVER BEEN
SO EMBARRASSED
IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
HOW COULD YOU!
OOH!
OH, BETTY, COME ON.
IT'S NOT THAT--
GOOD MORNING,
BOYS.
OH, GREAT. WHO
KNEW SATAN FISHED?
IT WAS QUITE
A SPECTACLE
YOU MADE
OF YOURSELF
LAST NIGHT.
THEY'RE E-MAILING
THIS PICTURE AROUND
DOWN AT THE STORE.
OH, JACK, THIS REALLY IS
NOT A GOOD DAY FOR THIS.
I'VE COME TO GIVE YOU
THE 15 GRAND.
I'M LISTENING.
SO YOU'LL TAKE
MY MONEY?
NORMALLY, NO WAY.
BUT I NEED TO SAVE
MY SHOP.
SAVE YOUR SHOP?
NO, NO. THIS IS
TO PAY OFF THE BANK.
I'M GONNA
SELL THIS PLACE
TO HOT ROD.
WHAT?!
YEAH. HIS NAME ON
THE BAIT SHOP,
A SUREFIRE MONEY MAKER.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
WHAT ABOUT ME?
WELL, YOU CAN
COME WORK FOR ME
AND SELL MATTRESSES.
FACE IT. WHERE THE HELL
ELSE ARE YOU GONNA
GET THE MONEY?
WANT A BEER?
NOTHING LIKE A COLD BEER
ON A HOT AFTERNOON
TO MAKE A MAN FEEL--
BUDDY.
ALL RIGHT.
HOW'S IT GOING?
TERRIBLE.
MY FATHER-IN-LAW'S
TRYING TO MUSCLE IN.
MY FRIENDS
HAVE LEFT ME.
MY FAMILY'S NOWHERE
TO BE FOUND.
WHOA, WHOA. I'M NO DR. PHIL HERE.
I MEANT,
HOW'S THE FISHING?
YEAH. THE FISHING.
I MUST HAVE BEEN
OUT OF MY MIND
TO ENTER THAT THING.
I HAVEN'T WON
A TOURNAMEN IN YEARS.
I'M ACTUALLY
THINKING
ABOUT BUYING
ONE OF THOSE
ECHO SOUNDERS,
YOU KNOW, TO GIVE
ME AN EDGE.
BILL...
YOU GOT TO DANCE
WITH WHO BRUNG YOU.
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
Announcer: WELCOME TO ESPN's
COVERAGE
OF THE PARADISE LAKE
INVITATIONAL,
ONE OF THE PREMIER EVENTS
ON THE BASSMASTER PRO TOUR.
IT'S A PERFECT DAY,
GUARANTEEING
AN EXCITING SHOOTOUT,
AS THE WORLD'S BASS ANGLERS
HAVE CONVERGED
ON THIS BEAUTIFUL SPO TO COMPETE FOR $50,000 CASH
FOR WHAT SHOULD BE THE MOS EXCITING EVENT OF THE SEASON.
GOOD MORNING, ALL.
I'M KEITH ALAN.
BY MY SIDE,
MARK ZONA,
BASSMASTER VETERAN,
READY TO BREAK I DOWN FOR US.
MAGICAL STUFF
AS ALWAYS, KEITH.
PLAIN AND SIMPLE,
IT IS GONNA TAKE
A MINOR MIRACLE
FOR ANY OF THESE
ANGLERS TO UNSEA THE NUMBER-ONE RANKED
BASS ANGLER IN THE WORLD,
HOT ROD JOHNSON.
AND YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO WAKE UP PRETTY
EARLY IN THE MORNING
TO BEAT HOT ROD JOHNSON.
IF HE DROPS 5 BOMBS,
AND THIS THING IS OVER
BEFORE IT STARTS...
OH, NO, NO, NO!
Mark Zona:
HOT ROD JOHNSON IS...
WHEN NOBODY ELSE
CATCHES HIM.
I'M GONNA TELL YOU
SOMETHING, KEITH,
HOT ROD JOHNSON...
RODS, RODS, RODS.
HOT ROD JOHNSON IS BUIL FOR TOURNAMENTS LIKE THIS.
LISTEN WHEN I
TELL YOU...
THIS LAKE IS JUST PERFEC FOR HOT ROD JOHNSON...
PROBABLY GONNA
NEED PANTS.
EVERYTHING LOOKS
GOOD HERE.
YOU'RE GOOD TO GO.
HEY, I'M BILL DUGAN.
SORRY I'M LATE.
OH, YES, OUR AMATEUR.
WE'RE READY FOR YOU.
YOU CAN LAUNCH
YOUR BOAT OVER HERE.
HANG ON. HEY.
WHAT IDIOT PARKED THEIR
PIECE OF GARBAGE HERE?
YEAH! BOY, HUH?
THE NERVE OF
SOME PEOPLE.
[INDISTINCT P.A. ANNOUNCEMENTS]
PRETTY, ISN'T IT?
YEAH. HONEY, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
I THOUGHT YOU MIGH WANT THIS.
WHAT IS IT?
IT'S YOUR OLD
CHAMPIONSHIP SHIRT.
THANKS.
BILL, NO MATTER
WHAT HAPPENS WITH
THE TOURNAMEN OR THE MONEY, YOU
AND I REALLY NEED
TO SIT DOWN AND TALK
WHEN THIS IS
ALL OVER.
TALK. YEAH, HONEY,
I WAS GONNA--
MR. DUGAN, WE NEED YOU.
OK, I'LL BE
RIGHT THERE.
SWEETIE, I WAS
GONNA TELL YOU--
IT'S OK, BILL.
GO AHEAD.
SIT RIGHT THERE.
HERE COMES SOME FRESH MEAT.
HEY, HOW ABOUT YOU, GUY?
GUY WITH THE YELLOW SHIRT.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Keith Alan: HERE HE IS,
THE LOCAL HERO
AND FORMER AMATEUR
CHAMPION, BILL DOOGIE.
THANKS, MAN,
BUT ACTUALLY
IT'S DUGAN.
WONDERFUL. HEY, YOU GO TO BE EXCITED TO BE HERE.
OH, I MEAN, IT'S
A DREAM COME TRU--
YOU KNOW, I HAD
AN OPPORTUNITY
TO SPEND SOME TIME
WITH YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW
TODAY.
THE MATTRESS
KING.
THAT'S RIGHT.
EXACTLY.
AND LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING.
THIS TRULY IS
A SAD STORY.
BILL DOOGIE SITS
HERE A SHELL OF MAN
ON THE EDGE OF THE ABYSS
ABOUT TO LOSE IT ALL.
HE'S FACING HUMILIATION,
BANKRUPTCY, PERSONAL RUIN.
ZONA, THAT PRIZE MONEY
SURE COULD HELP.
Zona: YOU GO THAT RIGHT.
YOU KNOW, HE'S GO ABOUT AS MUCH CHANCE
AS YOU DO WINNING A GOLD
MEDAL IN SYNCHRONIZED
SWIMMING, KEITH.
THE WORST THING IS
POOR DOOGIE IS
ALMOST HOMELESS.
Bill: NOW,
WAIT A MINUTE.
BILL DOOGIE, A MAN
WITH A DREAM,
A DREAM THAT COULD
TURN INTO A TRAGEDY.
AND NOW A WORD
FROM OUR SPONSOR,
MATTRESS KING.
WE'LL MAKE YOU SLEEP
LIKE ROYALTY
WHAT THE HECK
WAS THAT?!
WHOA!
IT'S ALL GOOD.
IT'S ALL GOOD.
HEY, HERE WE GO.
IT'S HOT ROD.
H.R.J.
YES!
TV: AT MATTRESS KING...
WE'LL MAKE YOU SLEEP
LIKE ROYALTY
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Announcer:
WELCOME BACK, EVERYONE.
WE'RE JOINED BY TOURNAMEN FAVORITE, CROWD FAVORITE,
AND AMERICA'S FAVORITE,
HOT ROD JOHNSON.
YOU KNOW, CHAMP,
WE WERE JUST TALKING
TO THE AMATEUR,
BILL DOOGIE.
WHAT ADVICE COULD YOU
THROW HIM RIGHT NOW?
WELL, MARK ZONA,
I JUST THINK
IT'S GREAT THAT WE
LIVE IN A COUNTRY
WHERE ANYONE CAN
PARTICIPATE IN
A FANTASTIC EVEN LIKE THIS ONE.
AWESOME.
WOW. GREAT, GREAT STUFF.
Bill: GET OUT OF MY--
LET GO OF ME.
"HOMELESS"?
"SHELL OF A MAN"?
LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING, ZONA.
HOW MUCH GEL YOU GO IN THAT HAIR, HUH?
LET ME GONNA TELL YOU
SOMETHING, GUYS.
THAT TOOL COULDN' CATCH A BASS
IN A TOILET BOWL.
MAN, IT'S LIKE WATCHING
A CAR WRECK.
YOU CAN'T TAKE
YOUR EYES AWAY
FROM THE SCREEN.
BILL LOOKS GOOD,
THOUGH.
CRAZED BUT GOOD.
Hot Rod on TV: SOUNDS
LIKE SOMEONE MISSED
THEIR MEDICATION.
Announcer: GENTLEMEN,
START YOUR ENGINES.
[CROWD CHEERS]
Announcer: AND THEY'RE OFF.
Bill: HEY, HOT ROD'S
LEAVING EARLY.
COME ON, COME ON!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
[BILL COUGHS]
OH, YEAH!
NOPE.
Keith: HOT ROD SURE IS
MAKING IT LOOK EASY
OUT THERE.
WHAT A GREAT EXAMPLE
FOR THE KIDS.
CLASSIC
HOT ROD JOHNSON.
SOME GUYS MAKE
GOLD RECORDS.
HOT ROD WINS BASS
TOURNAMENTS.
Boy: YEAH, HOT ROD!
WELL, BY CONTRAST,
WE GOT TO TALK
A LITTLE BI ABOUT THE AMATEUR,
BILL DOOGIE.
QUITE HONESTLY,
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT THAT GUY'S
DOING HERE.
YOU KNOW, IT'S OBVIOUS
TO ME AT LEAST--
YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN IN
THIS FOR THE BETTER
SIDE OF 25 YEARS--
THAT THAT MAN IS
CLEARLY OUTMANNED RIGHT--
IT'S COMING IN.
WE'RE GOING TO
ACTUALLY TAKE YOU OU TO THE WATER WITH
OUR AMATEUR CHAMPION,
BILL DOOGIE,
AND TAKE A PEEK AT WHA HE'S GOT HIS HANDS ON NOW.
NO. NO, NO. NO...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
THAT THAT'S LEGAL.
OOH!
[LAUGHTER]
OH, YEAH. COME TO PAPA.
HERE WE GO.
HEY, NOW, BABY.
NOW WE TALKING.
HEY, GET IN THERE.
Man: 13 POUNDS, 6 OUNCES
FOR PRESTON CLARKE,
PUTTING HIM IN THIRD
PLACE FOR THE DAY.
NICE WORK, PRESTON.
AND HERE HE COMES, FOLKS,
HOT ROD JOHNSON!
Man: YEAH!
THE GREATEST!
Man: HEY,
HOT ROD!
THAT'S
THE WAY TO REEL
IT IN, HOT ROD.
GOOD JOB!
[ODD JOB CHUCKLING]
TV: 16 POUNDS, 3 OUNCES.
THAT PUTS HOT ROD JOHNSON
IN FIRST PLACE.
Odd Job:
THAT'S USUALLY
A 2-DAY TOTAL.
Zona: YOU KNOW, WE
ALWAYS TALK ABOUT GUYS
FISHING THEIR STRENGTH
ON THIS TOURNAMENT TRAIL.
AND HOT ROD JOHNSON HAS
DONE THAT TO PERFECTION
TODAY, KEITH.
I'M GONNA TELL YOU,
ONE OF THE MOST FLAWLESS
PERFORMANCES
I'VE EVER SEEN ON
THE WATER THIS AFTERNOON.
WELL, THE GUY NEVER
CEASES TO AMAZE ME.
HOT ROD JOHNSON HAS
DELIVERED AGAIN.
AND WITH JUST ONE
MINUTE TO GO,
STILL NO SIGN OF
THE AMATEUR, UH,
BILL DOOGIE.
OH!
GAH! I CAN'T GET--AAH!
LOOK OUT!
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
OW! OW!
WHERE'S THE FISH? FISH?
SORRY.
[BILL CHUCKLES]
AND IT LOOKS LIKE
8 POUNDS, ONE OUNCE.
HA! IS THA ALL YOU GOT?
Announcer: THAT PUTS
BILL DUGAN IN 12th PLACE.
MR. DUGAN, WHAT ARE
YOU GONNA DO ABOU YOUR BOAT?
MY BOAT?
WHAT ABOUT MY BOAT!
YOU ARE AWARE OF
THE RULE THAT STATES
YOU CAN'T USE
A DIFFERENT BOA ON DAY 2, RIGHT?
FAILURE TO USE THAT BOA WILL RESULT IN YOUR
DISQUALIFICATION.
HEY, BILL!
WELL, I SEE GOOD NEWS
TRAVELS FAST.
AW. SHAME
ABOUT YOUR BOAT.
YEAH. I CAN TELL
YOU'RE REAL
BROKEN UP ABOUT IT.
RELAX.
I'M STILL OFFERING
YOU THE 15 GRAND.
JACK, I TOLD YOU,
I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY.
THE BAIT SHOP IS GONE
ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.
THIS WAY,
YOUR DEBT IS PAID.
OK. FINE.
I KNEW YOU'D
SEE IT MY WAY.
THE JOB OFFER'S
STILL GOOD.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'LL BE MANAGING
A MATTRESS STORE.
MANAGING? YOU COULDN' RUN A BAIT SHOP.
I'M STARTING YOU OU ON THE GROUND FLOOR
WITH THE HIGH SCHOOL
DROPOUTS.
DON'T YOU WORRY
ABOUT LAURA AND SCOTT.
I GOT PLENTY OF MONEY.
THEY'LL BE
TAKEN CARE OF
[SIGH]
GUESS DAD HAD
A PRETTY BAD DAY TODAY, HUH?
YEAH.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS
IS THAT HE TRIED
HIS BEST.
HOT ROD RULES
OF THE ROAD NUMBER 24:
TRYING DOESN'T MATTER.
IT'S WINNING THAT COUNTS.
WHAT? I WANT YOU
TO LISTEN TO ME.
HOT ROD JOHNSON
IS FULL OF IT.
YOUR FATHER IS HONES AND HARD-WORKING,
AND HE HAS
MORE INTEGRITY
IN HIS LITTLE FINGER
THAN HOT ROD HAS
IN HIS ENTIRE BODY.
HOT ROD RULES
OF THE ROAD--
I THINK IT'S TIME
THAT YOU STAR SHOWING YOUR FATHER
A LITTLE RESPEC AND GIVE HIM
SOME CREDIT.
YEAH!
YEAH!
YEAH!
HEY, HEY, HEY!
GIVE THESE FOLKS
A ROUND OF DRINKS
ON ME.
LOOKS LIKE THEY
FINALLY DECIDED TO
GET WITH A WINNER!
HEH HEH!
HOW ABOUT A TOAST?
TO THE LATE, GREA BILL DUGAN.
GUS,
HE'S NOT DEAD.
HE'S BOUND
TO KILL HIMSELF
AFTER TODAY, THOUGH.
HEY, BUDDY!
PULL UP A CHAIR!
AIN'T THIS A SIGHT?
MUST BE THE TRAITORS' BAR.
I RESENT THAT,
BUDDY.
THEY NEVER DID PROVE
THAT I SOLD THEM
DOCUMENTS
TO THA CHINESE FELLA.
NO, MORON.
AFTER ALL THE YEARS
OF BILL PUTTING UP
WITH YOU FREELOADERS,
YOU ABANDON HIM
WHEN HE NEEDS YOU THE MOST?
DALE, YOU BEEN
THROWN OUT OF
EVERY DECENT JOIN IN 3 COUNTIES,
BUT BILL TOOK YOU IN.
ODD JOB,
YOU WERE UNEMPLOYABLE.
BILL GAVE YOU A JOB.
BETTY, WHEN YOU FIRS OPENED THE SNACK BAR,
YOUR COFFEE TASTED
LIKE BILGE WATER.
BILL STUCK WITH YOU
TILL YOU GOT IT TOGETHER.
AND YOU TWO--
YEAH, WE KNOW.
WE'RE INGRATES.
BUT WE'RE TOO OLD
TO CHANGE.
YOU'RE RIGHT, BUDDY.
WE'RE TERRIBLE
FRIENDS.
BUT WHAT CAN WE DO NOW?
I THINK HELPING BILL
WIN THIS TOURNAMEN WOULD BE A START.
NOW, WE COULD CU THE FUEL LINE
ON OLD HOT ROD'S
CABIN CRUISER
AND RIG UP
A SIMPLE FUSE
WITH A BIC LIGHTER
AND BLOW HIM
STRAIGHT BACK
TO WHEREVER
HE CAME FROM.
OH, I SUPPOSE SOMEBODY'S
GOT A BETTER IDEA.
BUDDY, BILL DOESN' EVEN HAVE A BOAT TO
COMPETE IN TOMORROW.
HE'S GONNA BE DISQUALIFIED.
BILL'S GOT A BOAT.
HE JUST NEEDS SOMEONE
TO GO DOWN THERE
AND GET IT FOR HIM.
GET BILL HIS BOAT.
WELL, THAT'S A GREA IDEA, BUDDY!
HECK OF AN IDEA!
OH, YOU MEAN RIGHT NOW?
[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE]
HEY.
ROUGH DAY, HUH?
NO KIDDING.
EVEN THAT DIDN'T WORK.
JUST DOESN'T MATTER.
BOAT OR NO BOAT,
I JUST COULD NO FIND THE FISH TODAY.
WHY DID--WHY DID YOU
MARRY ME, ANYWAY?
WELL, IT HAD NOTHING
TO DO WITH YOUR SKILLS
AS A FISHERMAN.
I MARRIED YOU BECAUSE
YOU'RE A GOOD MAN.
WELL, NOT LATELY.
MAYBE YOU
HAVEN'T NOTICED,
BUT OVER THE LAS COUPLE WEEKS,
I'VE BEEN PRETTY MUCH
A STUBBORN, BULLHEADED
JERK.
AND FEEL FREE
TO CONTRADICT ME
AT ANY TIME.
HEY, WHEN YOU'RE RIGHT,
YOU'RE RIGHT.
LISTEN.
GOD, I KNOW I'VE MADE
A MESS OF THIS WHOLE THING.
I MEAN, I'M GONNA
LOSE THE TOURNAMENT,
AND I'M GONNA LOSE
MY BAIT SHOP, AND--
AND THAT'S OK
BECAUSE I CAN HANDLE
THAT STUFF.
BUT, BABY,
WHAT I CAN'T HANDLE IS
LOSING YOU AND SCOTT.
I DON'T--I DON'T WAN TO GET DIVORCED.
WE'RE NOT GONNA
GET DIVORCED, BILL.
WE'RE NOT?
OF COURSE NOT.
IT'S LIKE
THE MAN SAID,
FOR RICHER
OR FOR POORER.
BUT FROM NOW ON,
YOU GOT TO BE
HONEST WITH ME
100% OF THE TIME.
OK.
I HATE YOUR TUNA CASSEROLE.
OH, YOU...
[LAUGHS]
OH, MY GOD.
WHOO-HOO!
THAT REMINDS ME OF
THAT CONTRACT WORK
I DID FOR THEM
NAVY SEALS!
WHEW!
ARE YOU SURE
YOU CAN REPAIR THIS?
JUST RELAX AND LEAVE I TO OLD ODD JOB.
OK, I HAVE TO GO
AND MEET HOT ROD.
I DON'T THINK
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
BUT, MOM--
OH, NO, NO, NO,
IT'S--IT'S OK.
IT'S OK.
SCOTT PROMISED HIM
HE'D HELP HIM
PREP HIS BOAT,
AND WE DUGANS
KEEP OUR WORD.
BESIDES THAT, YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU'VE BEEN HAVING FUN.
GO AHEAD.
THANKS, DAD.
GOOD LUCK.
ALL RIGHT.
YEAH. GOOD LUCK
WITH WHAT?
I DON'T EVEN
GOT A BOAT.
WHY'D WE EVEN BOTHER
COMING DOWN HERE?
YOUR DAD'S JUS GONNA RUB I IN MY FACE.
THE MAN I MARRIED
ISN'T A QUITTER.
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING
WE CAN DO.
BESIDES, WHAT'S THE WORS THAT CAN HAPPEN?
YOU'LL LEARN HOW
TO SELL MATTRESSES.
IF SOMEONE LIKE MY DAD
CAN DO IT,
HOW HARD CAN IT BE?
YEAH!
[LAUGHTER]
I'M SORRY.
THE RULES ARE CLEAR.
YOU CANNOT COMPETE TODAY
UNLESS YOU USE
THE SAME BOAT.
HEY, BILL.
TOUGH LUCK.
LOSING THE BAIT SHOP,
LOSING THE TOURNAMENT--
SEEMS TO BE A THEME HERE.
YOU KNOW WHAT, JACK?
GIVE IT A REST.
HEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER,
YOU CAN'T STAND
A LITTLE CRITICISM?
HEY, YOU'D BETTER
GET USED TO I IF YOU'RE GONNA BE
WORKING FOR ME.
DADDY,
THAT'S ENOUGH.
NO, NO. IT'S ALL RIGHT.
LISTEN TO THE MAN, LAURA.
IT'S ALL OVER!
Betty: BILL!
DA-DA!
WELL? DO YOU LIKE IT?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
WOW! SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!
BUT HOW DID YOU--
I TOOK CHARGE, BILL.
I AM WELL SCHOOLED
IN CRISIS MANAGEMENT.
LET'S JUST SAY
SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS
WHO FORMERLY TOOK YOUR
FRIENDSHIP FOR GRANTED
REALIZED THE ERROR
OF THEIR WAYS.
Gus:
WE'RE SORRY, BILL.
YOU'RE NOT JUS A GOOD FISHERMAN.
YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND.
GUYS.
YOU CAN'T USE
THAT PIECE OF JUNK.
ACTUALLY, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
THERE'S NOTHING
IN THE RULE BOOK
SAYS A PARTICIPAN CAN'T MAKE REPAIRS.
GOOD TO GO, MR. DOOGIE.
IT'S "DUGAN."
DOESN'T MATTER.
WE HAD AN AGREEMENT.
YOU TOOK MY MONEY.
STUFF I IN YOUR MATTRESS, JACK.
YOU DUMB SON OF A--OH!
HA HA HA!
[STAMMERING]
SHUT UP, DADDY.
[LAUGHTER]
GO GET 'EM, HONEY.
YEAH!
[CHANTING, "BILL!"]
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
UNH!
LOOK AT THAT RUST BUCKE OVER THERE.
SOME PEOPLE DON' GOT NO PRIDE.
MUST BE EMBARRASSING
TO BE HIS KID.
NO, IT ISN'T.
HE'S A GOOD GUY.
GOOD GUY?
WHO CARES?
I'D RATHER WIN.
WHAT ABOUT WORKING HARD
OR INTEGRITY?
YOU CAN KEEP
YOUR INTEGRITY.
HOT ROD WOULD RATHER WIN.
HA HA!
NICE BOAT.
YEAH! SHE'S GREAT,
ISN'T SHE?
I TELL YOU WHAT,
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THOSE GUYS.
BUT, BUDDY, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THE HECK
I'M GONNA DO
OUT THERE TODAY.
MAN,
I LOST ALL MY GEAR--
YOUR GEAR? THAT'S NO THE BILL DUGAN I KNOW.
THE GUY I KNOW
NEVER BOTHERED
WITH ECHO SOUNDERS
OR FISH FINDERS
OR G.P.S. UNITS.
HE WAS A FISHERMAN,
AND HE KNEW THE LAKE,
TREATED THE BASS
LIKE A KINDRED SPIRIT.
YEAH.
WELL, THAT WAS
A LONG TIME AGO.
WELL, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
ANYWAYS, I GOT YOU
A LITTLE SOMETHING.
WHAT IS IT?
DON'T OPEN IT UNTIL
YOU GET OUT ON THE LAKE.
DON'T WORRY.
EVERYTHING YOU NEED'S
INSIDE.
Man on P.A.: GENTLEMEN,
START YOUR ENGINES!
WHAT ARE YOU
WAITING FOR?
[CHEERING]
YOU THE MAN!
YOU THE FISHERMAN!
Bill: ALL RIGHT, BUDDY.
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT ME.
"DANCE WITH WHO BRUNG YA"?
WHAT IS IT WITH
ALL THESE RIDDLES?
[ECHOING]
BUDDY, YOU OLD SON OF A GUN.
ALL RIGHT. COME ON, FISH.
I NEED YOU.
I'LL BE DURNED.
BUDDY, YOU ARE STILL MY YODA.
WHOO, HOO, HOO, HOO!
YEAH. UH-HUH.
Alan: WELCOME
TO ESPN'S COVERAGE
OF THE PARADISE LAKE
INVITATIONAL
AS THE WORLD'S BEST BASS ANGLERS
HAVE CONVERGED
ON THIS BEAUTIFUL SPO TO COMPETE FOR $50,000 CASH.
Zona: HOT ROD JOHNSON
IS BUIL FOR TOURNAMENTS
LIKE THIS.
WELL,
IN THE DICTIONARY,
UNDER "CONFIDENCE,"
THERE OUGHT TO BE
A PICTURE OF
HOT ROD JOHNSON.
THE CHAMP IS REALLY
LOOKING COMFORTABLE
OUT THERE
WITH THAT BIG LEAD.
AND CHECK OU THE AMATEUR COMING
TO THE PARTY RIGHT NOW.
IT LOOKS LIKE BILL DOOGIE
WON'T GO HUNGRY,
EVEN IF HE IS HOMELESS.
[CHEERING]
I'M BACK.
YEAH!
Odd Job
on walkie-talkie:
BILL, WHERE ARE YOU?
I'M OVER HERE
BY HANCOCK BRIDGE.
THAT'S THE FAR SIDE
OF THE THE LAKE.
YOU'D BETTER HEAD BACK.
YOU ONLY HAVE
20 MINUTES LEFT.
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT,
I'M HEADING IN.
YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST ONE MORE.
OH! YEAH.
THERE WE GO.
COME ON, BABY.
HOO, HOO, HOO, HOO,
HOO, HOO!
LOOK AT YOU! YOU'RE A PIG!
HA HA HA!
COME HERE. COME HERE.
COME HERE. COME HERE.
HEY, COME HERE.
COME HERE.
COME HERE.
OH! NO. COME BACK.
[GRUNTS]
NO!
Alan: WELL, MARK,
THE PARADISE LAKE
INVITATIONAL
HAS BEEN A SPECTACLE
BOTH ON AND OFF
THE WATER.
WELL, THESE GUYS HAVE DONE
A GREAT JOB OF DISSECTING
THIS LAKE THIS WEEK,
BUT, THAT BEING SAID,
HOT ROD JOHNSON,
HE HAS BEEN ON FIRE
THIS WEEK.
WE TALK ABOUT GUYS
FISHING IN THE MOMENT.
THAT GUY HAS BEEN
IN THE MOMENT HIS WHOLE LIFE.
THEN THERE'S
THE AMATEUR,
BILL DOOGIE,
COMING INTO THE DAY
IN 12th PLACE.
HE IS TAKING ADVANTAGE
OF EVERY LAST MOMEN TO FISH OUT THERE
TODAY,
AND HOPEFULLY,
IT'S GONNA PAY OFF
FOR HIM.
WHERE IS HE?
DON'T WORRY.
HE'LL BE HERE.
GONNA BE BEGGING ME
FOR THAT JOB.
HOPE HE KNOWS
HOW TO USE A BROOM.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!
THERE HE IS!
[CHEERING]
[GRUNT]
WHAT A FINISH!
AND HERE HE COMES,
YOUR DAY ONE LEADER,
FISHING TO
THE VERY LAST SECOND,
DROVE I LIKE HE STOLE I ALL THE WAY BACK
TO THE WEIGH-IN--
HOT ROD JOHNSON.
WHAT'S UP?
H.R.J.
LET'S PUT HIM
ON THE SCALES.
LOOKS LIKE 7 POUNDS EVEN.
THAT GIVES HOT ROD
A TWO-DAY TOTAL OF
23 POUNDS, 3 OUNCES.
STILL IN FIRST PLACE.
CONGRATULATIONS, HOT ROD.
THANK YOU.
MUCH DESERVED.
I'D LIKE TO THANK
MY ADORING FANS,
MY SPONSORS--
HEY!
THIS TOURNAMEN AIN'T OVER YET.
NOT UNLESS YOU CAUGH FREE WILLY OUT THERE.
[LAUGHTER]
UNBELIEVABLE--
AN AMATEUR AGAINS THE BIGGEST NAMES
IN THE SPORT.
THIS GUY IS GONNA NEED
A MIRACLE RIGHT NOW.
HE PULLS THIS OFF,
I WILL GO TO MASS
EVERY MORNING AT DAWN.
THAT BRINGS
YOUR TWO-DAY TOTAL
TO 17 POUNDS, 5 OUNCES.
THAT MOVES YOU
INTO FOURTH PLACE.
I KNEW HE DIDN' HAVE IT IN HIM.
DO YOU HAVE
ANYTHING ELSE TO
PUT IN THE BASKET?
WELL, I MIGHT HAVE
ONE MORE.
HEY, COME ON,
LET'S JUST GO AHEAD
AND CUT HOT ROD
A CHECK.
WE'LL CALL HIM
"FREE WILLY."
[CROWD GASPING]
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
BUT I GUESS I'D BETTER
SET MY ALARM CLOCK.
THAT IS AN ABSOLUTE
GIANT, BILL.
HOW'D YOU DO IT?
OH...
IT WAS NOTHING.
NO!
OH!
[GRUNTING]
AH HA HA HA!
PIECE OF CAKE.
LET ME GET IN THERE.
10 POUNDS, 10 OUNCES!
THAT BRINGS YOUR TWO-DAY TOTAL
TO 27 POUNDS, 15 OUNCES.
YOUR NEW PARADISE LAKE
INVITATIONAL CHAMPION,
BILL DOOGIE!
All: IT'S DUGAN!
HUH? HUH?
Hot Rod:
HOLD UP, FOLKS.
HOLD IT.
YOU KNOW
WHAT THEY SAY--
IT AIN'T OVER TILL
THE FAT LADY CLOSES
HER TACKLE BOX.
I GUESS YOU JUST WAN TO CONGRATULATE ME
ON MY WIN.
NO. I GOT ONE MORE FISH
I FORGOT TO WEIGH.
HERE YOU GO, BOSS.
THANK YOU, BABY.
YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.
NOBODY BEATS HOT ROD.
YEAH.
8 POUNDS, 5 OUNCES.
THAT BRINGS YOUR TWO-DAY TOTAL
TO 31 POUNDS, 8 OUNCES.
HOT ROD,
YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN!
WELL, WELL, WELL,
LOOKS LIKE THE PRO
PULLED IT OFF, DIDN'T HE?
THANK THE LORD,
I CAN SLEEP LATE AGAIN.
YOU KNOW H.R.J.
NOT GOING DOWN
WITHOUT A FIGHT.
THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS.
GIVE IT UP
FOR THE GREATEST.
HEY, I CAUGHT THAT BASS
A COUPLE DAYS AGO.
SHUT UP, KID.
YOU'RE JUST MAD
BECAUSE I BEA YOUR LOSER DAD.
THAT'S A STRONG
ACCUSATION, SON.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PROOF?
YEAH, I GO THIS PICTURE
RIGHT HERE.
LOOK AT THE MARKINGS
ON THE TAIL.
THAT'S MY BASS.
Man: COME ON.
HE'S RIGHT.
HOLD ON HERE.
IT'S JUST A BIG
MISUNDERSTANDING.
THAT'S ALL IT IS.
CHEATER!
CHEATER!
[YELLING]
CHEATER!
Announcer:
WHAT AN INSANE
TURN OF EVENTS.
THIS IS THE BIGGES DISGRACE
I HAVE EVER SEEN
IN ALL MY YEARS
BASS FISHING.
HOT ROD JOHNSON
SHOULD BE TAKEN OU TO THAT LAKE
AND DROWNED.
WHAT ABOUT IT, CHAIRMAN?
IS THERE A DEATH PENALTY
IN BASS FISHING?
UNFORTUNATELY, NO.
WE OUTLAWED I IN '83.
BUT THIS KIND
OF CHEATING
CALLS FOR A LIFETIME
SUSPENSION,
AND OF COURSE,
YOU'RE DISQUALIFIED
FROM THIS EVENT.
WHAT?
MR. DUGAN,
I'M PROUD TO SAY
YOU'RE THE WINNER
AND THE WINNER OF
$50,000!
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
WHAT A GREAT STORY
HERE, Z.
WHAT AN INCREDIBLE
MOMENT FOR THE UNDERDOG.
HE JUST WEN FROM THE OUTHOUSE
TO THE PENTHOUSE.
FROM ZERO TO HERO
AND RIGHT TO THE TOP
OF THE FOOD CHAIN.
WHAT ABOUT IT, BILL?
WHAT HAPPENED
OUT THERE TODAY?
OUT THERE,
NOTHING REALLY.
JUST FISHING, MOSTLY.
BUT IN HERE--
IN HERE,
I HAD A REALIZATION,
A REALIZATION THAT I GO A WONDERFUL FAMILY,
I'M SURROUNDED
BY GREAT FRIENDS,
AND THAT'S THE BEST CATCH
A MAN CAN HAVE.
I'M JUST REALLY LUCKY.
WE'RE THE REALLY
LUCKY ONES.
I LOVE YOU, BILL.
YOU LITTLE PUNK!
HOT ROD'S GONNA KICK
YOUR SCRAWNY BUTT.
OOH!
HA HA HA!
[APPLAUSE]
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE
YOUR SORRY LOSER BUT OUT OF OUR TOWN?
AIN'T NO ROOM FOR YOU
IN PARADISE.
YOU AIN'T SEEN
THE LAST OF ME!
NOBODY MESSES WITH
HOT ROD JOHNSON--
NOBODY!
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
DALE?
DALE?
DALE?
WHAT?
NOW, I THOUGH WE ALL AGREED
ON THAT FUEL LINE
THING.
[LAUGHTER]
I WONDER WHAT THEY'RE
GONNA OPEN
ACROSS THE STREET.
I STILL GOT MY FINGERS
CROSSED FOR THAT...
MASSAGE PARLOR.
AT YOUR AGE?
HEH HEH HEH!
THAT'LL BE 20 BUCKS.
I'M JUST KIDDING YOU.
HA HA HA!
SEE YOU ON TOUR
NEXT YEAR, MR. DUGAN.
YOU GOT IT. YOU GOT IT.
BETTY.
HEY, BILL. WE'RE OFF.
3 DAYS IN MIAMI.
WELL, YOU GUYS
HAVE FUN.
JUST HAVE HER
BACK BY MONDAY.
I WILL.
WE WILL.
MR. DUGAN, WILL YOU
SIGN THIS FOR ME?
OH, YOU BETCHA.
COME ON, DAD, LET'S GO.
HONEY, THE FISH
ARE WAITING FOR YOU.
ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE.
HEY, DAD, WHO'S GONNA
DELIVER THE MAIL?
DON'T WORRY. I TOOK CARE OF IT.
[CHUCKLES]
THERE YOU GO.
NOW, YOU KNOW,
GOVERNMENT READS
YOUR MAIL, RIGHT?
HEE HEE HEE!
Jeremy McComb: I'LL PROBABLY
NEVER SEE A MILLION DOLLARS
NEVER OWN SOME BIG HOUSE
OUT ON THE WATER
NEVER SEE THE SUNSE FROM A YACHT IN MONTEGO BAY
THAT'S OK
'CAUSE I'VE GOT EVERYTHING
A POOR MAN NEEDS
SOME CHANGE IN MY POCKET,
SOMETHING COLD TO DRINK
SOME FRIENDS
THAT GOT MY BACK
COME HELL OR HIGH WATER
YEAH, I'M DOING ALL RIGHT,
DOING OK
SOMEHOW EVERYTHING
SEEMS TO FALL IN PLACE
EVEN WHEN THE SKY IS FALLING,
SOMEHOW I GET THROUGH
YEAH, I DO
IT'S A HARD ROAD
WHAT A GREAT RIDE
I GOT EVERYTHING I NEED
RIGHT BY MY SIDE
YOU'RE THE ONE THING
THAT MAKES ME WHO I AM
YOU'RE EVERYTHING,
AND I'M YOUR MAN
THIS GREAT, BIG WORLD
CAN GET SO SMALL
THROW YOU AROUND
WITH THE WEIGHT OF IT ALL
SQUARE ON YOUR SHOULDERS
SO HEAVY THAT YOU MIGHT FALL
NOT FOR LONG
IT'S A PENNY FOR A POUND,
A NICKEL FOR A DOLLAR
YOU BEND TILL YOU'RE BROKE
AND BEND A LITTLE FARTHER
CHANGE WHAT YOU CAN
AND DO WHAT YOU SAY
DAY BY DAY
I'M DOING ALL RIGHT,
DOING OK
SOMEHOW EVERYTHING
SEEMS TO FALL IN PLACE
EVEN WHEN THE SKY IS FALLING,
SOMEHOW I GET THROUGH
I ALWAYS DO
IT'S A HARD ROAD
WHAT A GREAT RIDE
I'VE GOT EVERYTHING I NEED
RIGHT BY MY SIDE
YOU'RE THE ONE THING
THAT MAKES ME WHO I AM
YOU'RE EVERYTHING,
AND I'M YOUR MAN
I'M DOING ALL RIGHT,
DOING OK
SOMEHOW EVERYTHING
SEEMS TO FALL IN PLACE
EVEN WHEN THE SKY IS FALLING,
SOMEHOW I GET THROUGH
I ALWAYS DO
IT'S A HARD ROAD
WHAT A GREAT RIDE
GOT EVERYTHING I NEED
RIGHT BY MY SIDE
YOU'RE THE ONE THING
THAT MAKES ME WHO I AM
YOU'RE THE ONE THING
THAT MAKES ME WHO I AM
YOU'RE EVERYTHING,
AND I'M YOUR MAN
YES, I'M YOUR MAN
YES, I AM
I'M DOING ALL RIGHT,
DOING OK
SOMEHOW EVERYTHING
SEEMS TO FALL IN PLACE
EVEN WHEN THE SKY IS FALLING,
SOMEHOW I GET THROUGH
I ALWAYS DO
IT'S A HARD ROAD
WHAT A GREAT RIDE
GOT EVERYTHING I NEED
RIGHT BY MY SIDE
YOU'RE THE ONE THING
THAT MAKES ME WHO I AM
YOU'RE THE ONE THING
THAT MAKES ME WHO I AM
YOU'RE EVERYTHING,
AND I'M YOUR MAN
YES, I'M YOUR MAN
YES, I AM