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Balboa Blvd (2019)
- My dearest, Marquis,
I'm your mother and I would like to tell you a story. A true story. Your story. - Hey, man, how about a game? - I don't play pick up. - Just a quick one, till 11. - Like I said, I don't play pickup. - How about a quick game of horse? Come on, I just wanted a quick shoot around. It's been a while since I played and... 20 bucks says I win. - I don't wanna play for money. - It's too much. How about 10 bucks? You can do 10 bucks, right? - No, I just don't feel like playing for money. - You've gotta play for something. Let's start with a dollar. One dollar's not gonna hurt anyone. How's that sound? - One dollar? Quick game? Okay. - No donkey. - Okay, okay. Easy. - Let's see what you got. - All right, old man. Free throw line. - And it's on! - All right, okay. Side arm, one hand, off the backboard. -Okay, ah! - I got some old school in the air, man! - It's unbelievable. Oh! - Hello. Making these crazy shots. All right, hold up. I got one for you. Eyes closed. Ah! Man, so much for a quick game. Look, I gotta go. It's getting late. - It's a forfeit then. No, we had a bet. You forfeit, you lose the bet. You owe me a dollar. Pay up, kid! - Man, it's late, I'm not forfeiting. - Okay, we'll put it on hold. We'll resume again tomorrow, cool? - Yeah. - I'm Ray by the way. - Marquis. - Like a nobleman. It's good to meet you, Marquis. So tomorrow. We got a deal, remember? - Yeah, man, tomorrow. - Yeah? - Got it. - Tomorrow, kid! Is life Going down Is your joy standing down Are you stuck in a hole Can't you read or draw your faces anymore Life's a puzzle, oh Life's a headache, oh Life's a window, you just need a shade - My dearest Marquis, it was on a gloriously sunny California day when I first discovered that you were growing in my belly. I remember it so clearly. It felt amazing to me. You, this perfect little nugget growing inside of me. The moment was almost perfect. You see, I was laying in a hospital bed. My arm was broken, but they kept me there because of a concussion. I had been hit in the head again. I was comfortable enough being there in the hospital bed. It wasn't an unfamiliar scenario for me. At least I could rest. It was the doctor that broke the news. "You're pregnant." I wasn't shocked, Marquis, I was delighted. I fell in love with you from that very moment. Then Freddy walked in. I'll tell you about Freddy in my next letter. Always with my love, Mom. Life's a headache Life's a window you, just need a shade Is life going down Is your joy standing down - I was so scared this time. Not for myself, I'd become used to it. He had these large, heavy hands over my throat, squeezing so tight that I could barely breathe. He'd shake me back and forth and he was strong. My head would shake so violently that I could feel my brain sloshing about inside my skull, but that didn't scare me. I was used to it. I was scared for you, my most prized possession. Life's a window, you just need a shade - You're back. - You're still here. What a pair, huh? - What are you eating? Looks good, you're making me hungry. - Just a regular burrito. - Ah, nah, I don't eat meat. I got no beef with cows. - So how come you never play anymore, kid? You'd clean up. - I play people. - Oh, okay. Well, great. How'd you like to make some quick bucks putting those sweet moves to work? - Yeah, but I don't really need the money. - Ah, that must be nice. Mommy and Daddy take care of that for you? Look, I know you don't have a job. You're out here all day. - No, fuck you, Ray! You don't know me. Yeah, man, I got a job and I'm in Uni. So what if I wanna take some time to myself, huh? What's your excuse, man? Look at you. Bum. - Look. I'm not judging, alright? All I'm saying is that there's a pretty sweet sense of freedom when a man has some liquid cash in his pocket. If not for you, treat your girl. Oh, you're not gonna tell me a young man such as yourself doesn't have a girl? What's up with that? Okay, okay, put it towards a new pair of Jordan's or something. Think about it, we could team up. I'd make a great coach. Everyone could use some cash in their pockets. Am I right? Think about it, dollar boy! - You ain't got nothin', you ain't got nothin'. You ain't got nothin', you ain't got nothin'. You ain't got nothin'. Ah! Stupid, stupid. - Yes! - That was a great game, Marquis. Killer defense, man. So where does that come from? Does your Dad play? - Yeah, he played. Not well, but he tried. But he's dead. He's not my real Dad, he adopted me. - I'm sorry to hear that. - It's okay. He died three years ago. Heart condition. Alright, I gotta go, Ray. Thanks for the game. - Okay, yeah. So I'll see you tomorrow? Hey, Marquis, don't forget your winnings! - That's enough, man. - You gotta remember, I'm from the 70s. You know what I mean. - Shit, how old are you, Ray? - I'm not that old. I can still shoot with the best of 'em. - Well. They do say the shot's the last thing to go. - I had one other prized possession, my granddaddy's ring. He told me it was his father's before him. A beautiful gold ring like nothing I had ever seen. I wore it around my neck. It was a man's ring so it was too big for me to wear on my finger. But this one day, with the sun on my belly, I'd twist the ring in my hand and the sunlight would catch on the stone and send sparkling light all over the room. God, it was so beautiful. Looking at the dancing light, at the ring on that very moment, at that very stone is when I knew I had the perfect name for you. You would be called Marquis. It's the name of the way they cut the stone. Did you know that? Marquis. I kept this ring safe for you. - You out here early. - My dearest, Marquis, I awoke to find myself in the hospital again, but I no longer felt safe, like it wasn't the place for me to rest as it once was. The doctors looked at me differently. I was used to them seeing my injuries. Stitching what needed to be stitched, bandaging what needed to be bandaged. Putting a cast on whatever was broken. This time they kept looking at me like they were looking inside me. But I adored that they always made a fuss over you. Checking my tummy, running tests. Talking about baby this and baby that. I just knew you were okay. You were strong. I could feel you moving about, playing. One of the nurses heard me singing to you. I would sing to you everyday. But on this day I struggled. I couldn't remember the words. - Morning. - Is it? - Did you sleep here all night? Ray, did you sleep here all night? Ray, I'm not stupid, man. Look at you. You're always in the same clothes, sleeping outside. Ray, are you homeless? - I have a home. - Where? - Sydney. - Sydney, so... So what are you doing in Adelaide? - Just started walking, I kinda stumbled on it. - You walked from Sydney to Adelaide. Are you crazy? - Yeah. Yeah, kid. Maybe I am. - So how long did that take? - I don't know. I wasn't really counting. - Ray, are you in trouble or something? - What were you reading? - When? - Just now. Just now when I woke up, you were reading something. What was it? - Just a letter from my Mom. My real Mom. - Oh. That's nice. - That's nice? Just right away you think it's nice? I guess it doesn't matter that she left me with nobody when I was born. Nothing but a name, Ray. Marquis. A name I don't know shit about. I guess it don't matter that she gave me up to the system, does it? I know. I know, it sounds clinical, right? It's not the way a normal person would describe an environment for kids, but you see, Ray. Nobody cares, man. It was so crowded. There were kids everywhere, man. I remember I had to sleep in a hallway. I remember being scared every night, every day. Not a word from her or anybody. They used to tease me, said I was some kinda alien. Like how could I be a real boy if I didn't have a mother or a father? Ray, and after 10 years in that black hole, I came here. The first letter came, then the second until now, Ray. I got this shoebox full of letters from some woman on the other side of the world who never wanted to know me there. It's okay, right? Like you said it, she was nice enough to write. - Of course, it matters, kid. But I'm sorry, I didn't think that... - I never opened those letters. - But you kept them. - Yeah. - And now started to read 'em. - Yeah. - How was it that you ended up in Australia? Instead of with a family in the States? - My Dad, Derrick, he was a Lewis just like my Mom. They were distant cousins and he moved to Australia a long time ago after he met Robin. I don't think he knew about me or even that my Mom existed. - Robin, she's your Mom now? - Well, she didn't send me back. I like to feel the rain, sun on my skin I dance how I want to Dancing around, dirt paths I follow It'll be okay 'cause I can fly away 'Cause I can fly away I can fly away, I can fly away I can fly away I can fly - It was a pleasure doing business with you. - Hey! - Oh, hey! - Hey! - Get back, settle down. - You fuckin' asshole! - Settle down. - Yo, man, yo, why he gotta treat him like that? Throwing his weight around? - Man, I hate people like that! Picking on kids younger and smaller than them. - Just relax, okay. - Don't tell me to relax, Ray! It's the reason why I'm here. It's why my life is so fucked up because of assholes like that when I was a kid. 'Cause of bullies like that, Ray. Ray, you wanna know what was in those letters from my Mom? I'll tell you, my Mom, she was just a kid when she started getting slapped around. She wasn't even old enough to go to school. She finally got to school, she met Freddy. Freddy carried on with those beatings. Man, for years she was like his own personal punching bag. Nobody stopped him. When she'd leave the hospital, he'd send her right back in. Beat her, choke her, you name it. It wasn't until... It wasn't until she was pregnant with me they told her she had TBI from all the abuse. - What's TBI? - Stands for Traumatic Brain Injury. Women suffering from domestic violence. Caused by repeated head injuries and even strangling. You see, it happened to my Mom a lot because Freddy used to like to choke her. Ray, you tell me, what kind of coward does shit like that? - Jesus, Marquis. I'm so sorry. What happened to Freddy? - Freddy went to jail. She went to an institution. She was practically my age now, going through all of this shit. - Is that when she had you? - No. No, she escaped that place. If you want to call it escape, being on the streets and pregnant. - And Freddy? - Freddy was killed in jail. - That's karma. Is Freddy your father? - No, I don't think so. I mean, she said he wasn't but she never told me who was. - You know, Marquis, it sounds to me like she had it tougher than most. It sounds to me like leaving you wasn't really her choice. Do you still blame her? - I don't know, Ray. I don't know how I feel. I feel sorry for her. I mean, she was just as alone as I was. It's like the only person in this world she had was me. And the only person I had was her. - You ever considered meeting her? You gonna write back to her? - I don't know. - You know, Marquis. If there's one thing I've learned in this life, it's that you can't reach out for what's in front of you until you let go of what's behind you. - It wasn't all bad though. You know, she told me she'd sing to me all the time. She'd take me on these long walks while I was in her belly down some street called Balboa Boulevard. She loved to be around people. You're not gonna believe this, but she'd oftentime stop by the course and watch the guys play. Nice. No way. - I was thinking. We get bigger games, more money. - Bigger games? Yeah, I'm sure that's something I can organize. You need money, kid? - I might one day. - Tomorrow, Marquis. Today, I feel the same way as an empty shell Today, I feel as lonely as hell in my head And I'm so tired of feeling this way And when I look at you it makes me realize I don't even know who I am But maybe someday, maybe someday I will find me So maybe someday, maybe someday I will find you But for now I'm still so lost And I don't know what's missing to me But maybe someday, maybe someday I will find me And maybe someday, maybe someday I will find you And maybe someday, maybe someday I will find you I will find you And maybe someday I will find me, I will find me I know it will take some time But I'm ready to do what it takes And I know it won't be easy to find my way I'll be there And I know it will take some time But I'm ready to do what it takes And I know it won't be easy to find my way out here But maybe someday, maybe someday I will find me And maybe someday, maybe someday I will find you And maybe someday, maybe someday I will find you - Okay, kid, we've got ourselves a game - So we playing? Shit, man. - I'll be in your corner. You wanted bigger bucks, bigger bucks aren't easy. - That's a mean-looking dude, Ray. I don't know, maybe this was a bad idea. - A bad idea? Winner takes a cool grand. - Damn. What are the rules? And what's up with this court? This ain't no basketball court. - Don't worry about it, kid. It's their court, their rules. Play to 21, everything's one point. Winner's out. Your fitness and quickness alone should win this. - I don't know, I don't know. - Hey, kid, I've got your back. Just think of me as your coach. - But what if I lose, Ray? That's a lot of money. Do you know how many deliveries it'll take for me to save on my end? - Kid, I believe you can win this game. Come on, Marquis. - Hey, are we going to do this? - We good, kid? - Yeah. - Alright. Let me stretch. - Alright. Yeah, let's do this. - Come on, let's go. Enough of the stretching, kid. - You ready, kid? - Okay, Big Mike, make this kid pay. - You got nothing. Come on, you pussy. I bet you can't drive. You don't even have a license to drive, do you? Do you even have a car? Get your weak shit outta here. - Foul! That's a foul, come on! - Bring shit. You fucking watch us in the street, you little bitch. - Foul! What, come on! Watch this. Yeah! In your face! Ooh! I'm gonna give you nightmares tonight. Yeah, bitch! - That's a foul! Come on! - Street rules, baby! What, your boy can't handle street rules? - This is absolute bullshit. Come on with this bullshit fouling! That's a foul, man, come on. - It's alright, play on. - Fuck, time out. Time out, man, hey! - Okay, okay, take your time out. It's not gonna make a difference anyway. - Take your drink, kid. - I'm about to punch that dickhead any minute now! - No, you're not. - Yeah. - No, you're not because it's exactly what he wants you to do. He's trying to rattle you, kid. Is it working? - No. - Are you sure? - Yeah! - Are you sure? - Yeah, he's fouling me when I drive in! Using his arm on me illegally. - Yeah, I know, kid. I'm sorry, I thought it was gonna be a clean game. Man, I can pull us out now if you want. They're cheating pretty bad. - No. No, I wanna finish this! Look, just tell me how to get the ball back and I'm gonna shoot the damn lights out. - Nice, that's what I wanna see. Right, it's 15 zip. Shut him down now and that grand is ours. You smother hum at the top and he's gonna have to take you in post like before, right? So he's gonna shove you and push you pretty hard to make you back down so take his momentum. Wait till you feel his weight and take it from behind and he's gonna fall like a big sack of shit. Yeah? Then grab that ball and shoot the lights out. No drives, okay, just shoot the damn lights out. Got it? - Yeah. - You got it? - Yeah. - Let's get it done. - Right. - Get it done. Come on, Marquis, this is yours! - Foul! - Street rules, baby! - Get up, you idiot. Fuck! - This game's mine. - We'll see about that. - Damn. Fuck! Come on, bitch. What you got, man? Fuck, that all you got, man? Fuck! - Pay up, pay up, pay up. Now that's how you shoot for your life. - I want a fuckin' rematch! Fuckin' fluke, man, fuckin' fluke! - Ah, you earned this. - Nah, that's too much, Ray. Some of that's yours. - Okay, but you're gonna have to convince me. How about 80-20? 80 because you did all the hard yacking out there and 20 for my coaching. - If you think that's fair. - That's what an agent would get. What do you need all that money for anyway? Gettin' a car? - I wish. Nah, something else. Something more important than that. - Oh, you're not gonna tell me about it. Alright, maybe when you're ready. Tell me something though. Where'd you get your love of the game from? - Love? - Yeah, love. That's what I saw out there this afternoon. You were playing that game like it was your last. Played it with so much energy and heart, kid. That's love for the game. - I don't know. I guess it was right from when I picked up the ball. I mean, back when I was in the States, when I was younger at that group home. I didn't have any friends. Nothing to do but just play with that damn orange ball. I guess it distracted me from all the shit that was happening in that place. Man, I couldn't shoot, I couldn't do anything. I'd just bounce it, bounce it over and over again. Just copy what the older kids did. Man, it took my mind off things. Gave me something to concentrate on. I lived by it. - It picked you, kid. Now it's part of you forever. - I guess. You know, Ray, it's like... It's like my psychologist, man. It's like therapy when I need it. - Therapy? - Yeah. Man, Ray, when I'm playing it's like I can shut the world out of all these distractions and stresses and just... Man, just go somewhere peaceful. - Yeah. Yeah, I found my share of solace in this game too. It's taught me a lot. Still teaching me today. - Are you sad about something, Ray? - Sad's an understatement, kid. Maybe someday when you tell what you're gonna do with all that money I'll tell you about it. I gotta go, kid. See you next time, next pickup, okay? - Ray, something I've been meaning to ask you, alright. You can't say no, okay. Thanksgiving is right around the corner and, man, Robin she tries to keep me connected with my culture. It's a pretty big deal. It would be so much more bearable if you joined us. What do you say? A little Thanksgiving, okay? My place? - You got a good heart, kid. I'll be there. - Later, Ray! Hi. You're Marjorie Goodman. - No, that's my Mom. I'm Stella. - Well, your Mom she's a new customer of ours. This is her first delivery. - Yeah, well, I mean, I saw your van there other day. Who could say no to a van like Green Veg? - Well, I hope... - Um, what have you been listening to? - No, not the stuff you're used to. - Hey, I saw you singing at the beach the other day. It was amazing. - Thanks, but, I mean, I love all music if you'll let me. Nice. What is this? - It's MC Hammer, Hammertime. You're probably not into 90s music though. - Are you kidding me? How can you go past MJ, Nirvana, Radiohead? REM, Pepper, Sinead, No Doubt. - Wait, don't forget about Tupac. - Thank you, yeah. - Biggie. - Yes. - Busta Rhymes, DMX. Oh, I love his voice. Wait, who else, who else? - Eminem! - Wow. - I told you, I love all music. - Hey, I hope you don't mind me asking, but why were you busking at the beach the other day? - My teacher says that I need to build up my confidence when I sing so singing to large crowds is great practice. - Cool. - Cool. - Oh. I'm sorry, he's your delivery, Ma'am. - Thank you, sir. Wait. You know my name, but I don't know yours. - Marquis. - Marquis. - And now I know where you live. I mean, not like that. - And, um, you have my number too. - Yeah. Alright, bye, Stella. - Bye, Marquis. - You guys are short. We're only playing for full amount. - You guys wanted the rematch. That's all we have. Play us for that or we find another game somewhere else. - Hey. Throw the kid's shoes in the mix and that should make us square. - No way. Alright. Give me a second. Marquis, we can walk, you know. - No, shoe or no shoe. Give me that big oaf again. - We're good! - Okay, man, we have a game. Come on, Big Mike, teach thee guys a lesson! - Check it, chump. You know you fluked on me last time. - Yeah, yeah, whatever. - You're going to school tonight. - School, you ain't doing shit. - Take their money! - Come on, Marquis, shut him down. Come on, Marquis! - Hey, bitches! - Suck on that! - Give me my shoes. And the other one. Thank you very much. - Uh, we got hustled, kid. They played us good. - Damn! I'm better than that. Shit, I'm sorry, Ray. That's a lot of money, man. - Don't worry about it, kid. It's only money. There's more important things in life than money. - That's all I had. That's all my savings. - You win some you lose some. But we are gonna win It all back and then some. - Damn! - Bye, kid! I'll setup the next game. We're gonna win it all back! So maybe someday, maybe someday I will find you But for now I'm still so lost And I don't know what's missing to me But maybe someday, maybe someday I will find me And maybe someday, maybe someday I will find you And maybe someday, maybe someday I will find you I will find you And maybe someday I will find me, I will find me I know it will take some time But I'm ready to do what it takes And I know it won't be easy to find my way - Ray, you okay? - Yeah. I'm sorry, Marquis, I thought I could do this but I can't. I got a lot on my mind. Please excuse me. - Ray, where you going? Are you okay? - I'm sorry. I just miss them so much. My daughter, Sarah. She was so beautiful and vibrant, so full of life. My wife, Rebecca. If I could only, If I could only touch her one more time. I'd give anything for that. Rebecca wanted us all to visit the Haunted Valley for the weekend. She did ask me to finish work early so we could all... Just, we could all travel up together. I was in a meeting... that afternoon and I missed her call. Then she left her last text and voice messages. Before I left the office, I went to call them. To see how far they had gone. And she didn't even bring anything up. But a strange woman answered Rebecca's phone that evening. She asked me if I knew the woman and the little girl. In that moment I knew. And I felt it, I felt it so much. Everything in my body felt it. Paralyzed with fear and loss. Hurting and grief. So much grief. I told her that I was her husband. She started telling me that she was sorry, that they were gone. And that it was quick and they didn't suffer. It was a fatal collision with a truck. And now they're gone. They're gone forever. And I will never. I will never see them or hear them or touch them ever again. Just like that. My whole life was gone. - I'm so sorry, Ray. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring the mood down. Thank you, but I'll just see myself out. - Ray. Ray. Man, I'm really sorry. I had no idea. - How could you? - See you tomorrow? - Happy thanksgiving, my friend. Running slow Does it feel like you're alone It's fine Don't let it go You're so right, don't know it now Life's a puzzle Life's a headache Life's a window you just need a shade Is life going down Is your joy standing down Are you stuck in a hole Can't you read or draw your faces anymore Life's a puzzle Life's a headache Life's a window you just need to show - Hi, Stella. - Hey. - I wanna talk about my friend, Ray, if that's okay. - Man, I've been looking for you everywhere. How you doing? - I'm okay. - It's really good to see you, Ray. - It's good to see you too. What are you reading? Michael Jordan, "The Life." That's a good book. Who's your GOAT? - Michael Jordan, man. Too skilled, too athletic, Ray. - Really? Young buck like you. I thought you'd be all about Kobe or Lebron. - Nah. Lebron, not a chance. Kobe, maybe. I think he lacks the speed Jordan had. I mean, even if you take away all the media and marketing hype surrounding Jordan. Man, he's still the best basketball player we've ever seen. A real baller. I mean, you put him on the playground, on the gym with anybody, let him go one on one, Jordan reigns supreme every time. Not even Kobe has a chance. - I don't know, man. I think Kobe might win a few. I think he'd take some games. - No chance. Mike had no weaknesses, Ray. I mean, look, man. His defense alone would have beat 'em all. I mean, his mental game, Ray, was killer. - What about Allen Iverson? He crossed him up pretty good. - That was one crossover. Everybody keeps talking about this one crossover. He's too small. Wouldn't have been able to guard Michael when he had the ball. - Okay, what about Lebron? Lebron, he's bigger, he's faster, and he's stronger. Jordan couldn't guard him and he definitely couldn't guard Shaq. - Shaq, Ray? Nobody can guard, Shaquille, he's too big. And Lebron. You forget that Jordan was also strong and much quicker off the first step. I mean, here's a guy that took Dr. Jay's dunk and took it up another level, man. He could jump from the free throw line and have his head at the rim. - Okay. - I mean, he would smother Lebron and then use his quick hands to take the ball from him every time. - Okay. - Nah, I don't think you understand, man. Jordan is the master, Ray. Okay, there ain't nobody in history or today's game that could beat him. - That's bullshit. - Whatever, old man. You're just as soft as him. - Oh, yeah. - I swear we'll see who the pussy is if you challenge us, chump. - Just get the fuck off the court. - Okay. - Shit! - Fuck! Shit! - Ah, kid, can you still play? - If he can't play, you guys forfeit and we take the win. Sorry, but that's how it goes. - Don't worry, just give us of couple minutes and we're good, oaky? - You got five minutes, that's all, or you're out. - He undercut me, man! - I know, it's the only way he can beat you. It's a cheat! - Pull me up. - He's done. He can't play. - Goddammit. Fuck, man, let's play! Let's play. Before it tightens up, let's go! - Point game. - We cool? Respect, man. Take care, kid, I might see you around. - That was amazing stuff, Marquis. We have some celebrating to do, don't you think? - I can't. I got deliveries to make for Robin. You know I can't miss that again. Damn, she's gonna be so pissed that I sprained my ankle. - Mrs. Lewis, my name is Mr. Lockhart. I'm calling you from the Los Angeles Department of Family Services. - Yes. - I'm the senior caseworker on duty and I have some news in relation to your adopted son, Mr. Marquis Lewis. - What is it? - I'm sorry to tell you that I have some terrible news. Our office has been notified that Marquis's biological mother, one Ms. Shari Lewis, was pronounced dead at 9:30 this evening. I'm very sorry for your loss. - Can you tell me what happened? - There was an accident. She was struck by a distracted driver earlier on in the day. She was transported to a local hospital where she unfortunately did not survive her injuries. Sleep in heavenly peace Silent night, holy night Shepherds quake at the sight Glory stream from heaven afar Heavenly host sing allelujah Christ the savior is born Christ the savior is born - What am I supposed to do now? Silent night, holy night Son of God, love's pure light - I cannot let her be buried alone. I've been saving for a long time. I have enough for a plane ticket. And a headstone. I mean, it'll be small, but at least it's something. - I can help. - No. No. I appreciate it, but I have enough. I mean, I was gonna go see her anyway. - There's something else. She must have sent it before the accident. - Don't worry, Mom. I'm coming home. This came today. I can't open it. - You want me to open it? - Yeah. Read it to me, Ray. - My dearest, Marquis... A thought recently-- - A thought recently occurred to me. After all these years and all these letters I never once thanked you. For the life of me, I just don't know why. I wonder everyday why don't you write me back. I don't blame you for being mad, for hating me. I've been selfish, it's true. I had it in my mind that if I couldn't give you a roof or clothes I food, I'd give you what I could, and all I could figure to give you was my love and your story. I know it's important for a man to know who he is. Most people are... Oh, I hope everyday that it's enough even though I know it's not. But enough for you to find it in your heart to forgive me. To hear your voice, to read your words. I thought if I gave you all that I could you would know that I love you. But today it just hit me. There was something else that I could give you that I haven't yet and that's my thanks, my most honest and truest thanks. Thanks to you for giving me so much. It's because of you that I write everyday and the writing helps me work my mind, which has helped me get through the worst of my TBI. You've given me focus. That focus has led to purpose and working hard to get my life back. I have a job. It's just a small job, but I have my own desk and a boss who laughs everyday. It's a greeting card company so laughing's to be expected. They started me out as an office assistant and now I'm writing greetings, if you can believe it. So I want to thank you for that. And thanks to you I have the hope that one day I'll know what it feels like to wrap my arms around that beautiful little baby who is now a man. Always with my love, Mom. - For as much as it has pleased our Heavenly Father in his wise Providence to take onto Himself our beloved Shari Lewis. Her body now committed to the ground. Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Mr. Lewis, would you like to say anything? - Of course, I blamed you. I told myself I didn't care to know you. Told myself I hated you for throwing me away. If you didn't want me, I didn't want you. As the years passed and the letters... piled up I ignored them. It was the only way to punish you. To make you feel some of my pain. It was all that I could control. But out of a moment of desperation, I realized that I... I can no longer resist you. I needed answers. I needed my Mom. Your letters have helped me realize it's not about what I don't have but to finally see what I do. I wrote this letter before I knew the significance of time. I never dreamed that you wouldn't get a chance to read it. That we'd never have a chance to meet. There's so much I wanted to share with you. I wanted to tell you about this girl I met, this beautiful girl, and... I've been too afraid to ask her out, but now I know, I know not to waste time and so I'm gonna change that. I wanted to tell you about my friend, Ray. My best friend. And he's opened my eyes. He's help me see that I've been so lucky. That you've always had the biggest part of my heart. And we share this love of basketball. And I have to thank you for that. Thank you. Did you know her? - Yes, I was assigned to her case when you were born. - Thank you for being there for her. - I'm here for you too if ever you need me. Oh, I almost forgot. This is for you. She always hoped to give it to you one day. - At our most desperate times when you plead for Him to hear you, to really hear you, you hope for a reply, a sign, something to suggest that you're not alone. A sign that you are in exactly the place that you're meant to be in at that exact moment, but then you also know better. You don't actually expect a reply. You know that's not how it works. My life was living proof that God didn't much care about my desperation until that night when my water broke and you were born, Marquis. On a dinky little bus stop on Balboa Boulevard. That night, I received a sign and wouldn't you know it. My sign was a literal sign. Illuminated from the darkness of the street, propped up on the corner of a little church. It read, "Jesus didn't reject people, neither do we." - Hello. Stella? Yeah, I'm out of town. Hey, Stella. Do you think it would be okay, you know, if I take you out to dinner, movie, karaoke? Yeah. I'm coming home. - Coming to pay up, dollar boy. - Holy shit, Ray. - You scrub up all right, for an old man. What's going on with you? - I'm going home. - Really? - Mm-hmm. You're walking all the way back to Sydney? - Oh, no, no. No, I'm done with walking. I'm gonna sit back, put my feet up, let the Greyhound do the work. - The bus, okay. Man, you could see the path you walked. - Yeah, yeah, I was thinking the same thing. - You okay? - I will be, what about you? - Yeah me too. - I'm not leaving without my dollar. - We got a game before we go. - Well, you better change that bus ticket. - Oh yeah. - 'Cause you ain't goin' home. - Oh, is that right, is it? Alright, come on. - Last time, hurry your business. - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, by the way. Off the head and to the back. Life's a puzzle Life's a headache Life's a window, you just need a shade Is life going down Is your joy standing down Are you stuck in a hole Can't you read or draw your faces anymore Life's a puzzle Life's a headache |
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