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Balls to the Wall (2011)
Hi, I'm Lewis Gardner.
Ben is my best friend Camelina since the eighth grade. People always thought Ben cowardly way ... but not when really got the bug. Young lady, where do you go? Come here. WOMEN'S CLUB What would you do for love? Some guys buy flowers, others buy jewelry. Musician Tommy Lee's name tattooed girlfriend on his instrument. Ben? He dances all night long. What is very different from today extremely boring in our work. In Worldtec Worldwide on the beautiful San Fernando Valley. Eight hours a day Hell on earth. Find anything? Only some spyware ... M43 trojan program ... some pop-ups ... Wow! Some pictures of the naked man's wife. How wonderful! She is sexy as a large piece of cottage cheese, man. - This will work on emails. - You did not say that. But I will get to you. Happy hour later? No, I have to do some things with Rachel. You are excusing myself every day, man. What is happening? It offers snacks for 50 cents and drink for two dollars? Not for nothing, but I thought on how it goes when you're married? I will tell you, I will be the sad and lonely guy behind the bar. But you, you will be like a dog on a leash, a perfect stooge. Camelina! Yes? Sadie is waiting. Okay. Ben was a talented guy. He had goals, dreams, desires. But along the way, something ... Something went wrong. Sadie made the "geek"? He? Break off a little. Knead. Sadie is leaving eating grass again? No, I would not, Miss. Watson. Good. Now get outta here. They say that pain and suffering form great artists. If this is true, Ben would be a Picasso. Always drawing cute things for his girlfriend Rachel. And your drawings? You never drew. I drew a thing today. It's my boss. Here you are. He saw the pentagram? Represents the third chakra and that it my blood is dripping from her teeth. Now a bit of family history of Camelinas. Ben was eight when his father left. His mother faced the change very well. Say, after wasting ten years with that old ... she was determined to make for lost time. Ben! - This is the uncle range. - That's right. It rhymes with "bed". That's where we go. Almost every night, there appeared some new male member of the family of Ben ... in your home. Had Uncle Adam. Uncle Andy. Uncle Arthur. Uncle Al Uncle Antoine. And the bizarre pirate homeless. His mother had to find that several figures the father would feel better ... about the fact of not having a father of truth. But what counts is the intention, is not it? Ben said that most of them was pretty cool. Although some have left the house the smell of coconut oil body. But none has changed the lives of Ben, as did Uncle Sven. You know what, Bill? Ben. Whatever. Let me give you some advice. If you want to attract the kiddies, the track dance is the perfect place for that. Nothing is more provocative than a nice ass in action. Got it? But I'm allergic to cats, Uncle Sven. Let it go. You will return the panties my mother? Probably not. Uncle Sven's words haunted their dreams. And they could not stop thinking that bow tie. Sven! Okay, he did not understand right what Uncle Sven was saying. But that would change one day. - Hi, love. - Hi I brought your favorite wine. - And more brides porn magazines. - Legal. Ben, this is Clarissa, organizer wedding of Kingsley Estates. Hi, very pleased. - Come, sit here. - What did I miss? The Clarissa was telling me the party in the Rose Garden. Rose Garden? What a perfect! It would be perfect. Already chosen the date? Preferably in July this year. Unfortunately, there is no day available for the next year. Unless ... Just be a cancellation! For three months from now, actually. What lucky. The day is ours. I think we should know the first place. Do not think it would be a good idea? But someone may take that day between now and the day of his visit. You do not want this, Ben. We do not want this, Ben. So, you can dial. Thank you, dear. Well, what would it cost? The Rose Garden takes a minimum of two hundred guests, so ... I hope you have many friends. As long as suppliers, 18% the service, taxes ... I would say ... 49 000, $ 998. It is possible, is not it? It is less than 50 000. Is not it? Will win many miles ... the credit card. It is the Rose Garden. The Rose Garden? $ 50,000, wow! How will you afford it, Ben? I want to draw stories comics. You earn some money with it, is not it? I'm kidding. Would think something as important the hands of a moron like you? Of course I'll play the wedding. Really? Dad, thank you. I do everything for my little girl e. .. by the marriage of my little girl. What will we play? The marriage of Rachel. All fifty thousand dollars. That's it? I easily spend twice that. Good. How so? What? I said it would seek ice. I got it. It is on my own. The ice does not pay, you idiot. Why will not both? It's funny how a person's life can change in an instant. That's exactly what happened to Ben that night. Thank you for offering to pay marriage, Mr. Matthews. You're welcome. I always thought she would marry with Cole. But life is full of disappointments. There is, Ben? - So ... - Why do we still have that photo? Talk about your work. I'm still in the department of T.I., still in Worldtec Worldwide. What exactly does this company? The company's mission is to seek opportunities for growth and profit ... in emerging markets, explore new paradigms financial e. .. I think I dozed off in the middle of boring answer, Ben. Thirty years ago I am a financial consultant. Ten hours a day, five days a week. I only see numbers. Figures on numbers, numbers. So I take almost half a bottle of whiskey every night. You know what helps me stay drugs in the office? It has open bar in the meeting room? The notion of duty. Of responsibility. I had a family to support, and soon you'll have yours. Rachel is pregnant? For God's sake, no. I know you're young. Must have a lot of crazy dreams ... and think, "I will be in this job my rock band until it succeeds. " - I do not have ... - Forget it! 99.9% of Americans kill themselves working nine to five ... five days a week fifty weeks a year. Why should you be different? It would not be. Exactly. I'll wait in the car. Get some lottery tickets in the output. Okay. BERNIE NILES, BEWARE OF THE OWNER Hi, Bernie. - It's cleaner. - Yes Wait, listen, let's see if I understand it, Matthews. You already owe me two thousand dollars. And now you want to catch and borrow more? 50 000. I thought, as I have I owe you ... What would be 50 000, is not it? But you know what? Your help would be welcome now. - I am moving in the decor ... - This here? Right. - Just drag here. That's it. - Ready. I just need to cover that here. What do we do? This course? That's it. Wow that side, the corner as well. Opens everything right. Great job. Hello, Bernie! Why are you moving in decorating now? My friend Louie is here. I know that Louie? Yes, yes ... Say "hi" to Louie! Bernie, Bernie! We can solve this. - Is it? - Now we have a story. Stand up. I am ashamed for you. Come on. There you are. At last arrived. You brought your accessories, good. Come on. I said, are you prepared? - Yes! - I did not hear, are prepared? That's right, girls. I'm Candy Lane, and I want to introduce you to ... the newest member the men's room. He is dark as chocolate. He is. And it's light as a feather. - Why the clothes? - Clothing? - The number of "Everyman." Good! - Looking for Mr. Matthews. - Who? The Ice Man! Go there! Oh yes, it's the debut of the Iceman. You'd better prepare. Oh, it's his first time! He does not know what to do. He's shy. He's shy. This is part of the show, right? Oh, it looks like a big baby. Someone wants to give colinho for this baby? Who wants to be his mama? What are you doing here still? Do not know how to disguise this guy silly ever? No, Dad, that's okay. I found the "Ice Man" the new guy. He is on stage now. Excuse me. I'm Charlemagne. I'm the ice man. Sorry for the delay. So who the hell is that idiot? I have no idea. He had a few bags of ice. You want to see bags of ice? - I'll show you a bag of ice. - No. - You want to see? - Please, no! Take it all! It has a beautiful swing. Yes, he has. He will show his swagger. Move it! Take it all! Move, you jerk! Take it all! Take it all! Come closer! In tennis, tennis. Why are you crying so much? - Strange. - Yeah, Chad is great here. Not there. He is good. Yes, yes, I know. So I brought you here. You said you did not know. I know, I said. Because I did not want to influence. Yes, I understand. That's it! A round of applause for the Iceman! Thanks for the encouragement, the owner. My name is Maureen. I give you $ 300 if I lick like a lollipop. Thank you. Excuse me. I came here, and I want to receive. I'll be backstage. Go back a little, just a little. Thank you. This is Ben Camelina, My future son. Ben volunteered to ... paying my debt, doing his show for you. - I do not know ... - Bernie, heard the women down there? - They loved it. - True, they loved it. "True, they loved it." You will work from eight to midnight Tuesdays to Saturdays. Thank you, Bernie. You can leave. You made a great success. They loved it. He had one that loved it. Hey, Ben. So, it will be like ... every dollar you earn, will deposit in an account ... an application will be an investment. With his talent and my knowledge Financial ... we have $ 50,000 in no time. - I thought you already had the money. - I have. I have a lot of money. But it's all invested. In insurance, and stuff ... but it is not accessible, and I am struggling now. So ... I will not. But it's not for me. It is by Rachel, you know? And the wedding. Sure, you had agreed to pay. By tradition, the father plays the wedding. But the reality is a little different now. This is not happening. This visit to the club Male Locker Room did not happen. So let's see what we will talk before returning home. I will not lie to Rachel Matthews. Ben, you're getting married. Better get used to it. We arrived. - Where is everybody? - Thanks for forcing me to make room ... - To its customers all night. - We were worried sick. Ben, what happened? Us .. spent in a bar ... to celebrate. Celebrate? Celebrate what? My promotion. Have you been promoted? So to say that you will work is not much more now, Ben? Will work late. Come on, tell everything to them. - The ice melted. - Okay. That's it! A round of applause true for the Iceman. I know you want heat it in winter. He charged extra for these breasts? Hello, men. See who's here. Must be the night of amateur again. Good job there, the Iceman. Thank you, dear. 'm Hot, do what? You call that dancing? To have a juggernaut moves more graceful. And to think I left the club Rancho Men to work with you. You're so over. Chad! - Does anyone have a pair of scissors? - Give my hair. The Big Chad has no effect about people. It is not his problem. You- Yeah, you. Novato. Guess what. I need a partner, and I will come in five minutes. You just enter university of "onoma-Chad." Think you can? I have the answer for you. Neither the stick. I'm not doing that. Ben relaxes. Let's relax. - Could you please stop? - Okay. You need to pretend to be a girl. - Pretend that I am girl? - At least, think like a girl. Need to contact with his feminine side. Women love to dance, know the moves. You know how crazy men heterosexuals and lesbians. You need to connect with inside your vagina. What will you do with it? I'm doing this for a reason. For inspiration. - So, smashes. - Well, girl! Who is ready to participate in the show? The time is the lucky bride, Jessica Smith of Reseda! You can sit. Are you ready to be saved, dear? And I'm not talking in church, I'm talking on our firefighters. Applause for Chad! And the newest member the men's room. - The Common Man. - What a delight! Jessica, Jessica! Never steal my attention. You're just mad because she thought I was a good kisser. Shut up. Rachel always said I was a good kisser. Whenever ... Ouch! It's hot here. I'm so wet, who is wet? You heard the cries of them, Ben? As we gain? $ 159 in three minutes of work. I feel like a crack dealer. Thank you. Great job, kid. It is best to Chad careful, if you want remain the number one here. There is room for a "number" here, "Common Nerd." So it's better to learn to count to two. Old rascal, Big Chad does not need to count. Think is good enough to win the "Strip-Luz-Pope"? "Strip-pope" what? Strip-pa-pa-Luz. It's just the biggest event that there strippers for men. That's right. And I already have "c" in the name of a champion. "Chad". Change a few letters, I have the name of a champion. It is, believe me. His name also has "c" of pity. Has it? - $ 69,000. - No! Ben ... - No! - We would pay the whole match ... - With the money of this award. - It's a great idea, Matthews. We appear on national television, maybe you do not see Rachel. Well, the cake will cost two thousand dollars. Are you kidding? It is covered with gold or something? It has four floors. Can not be reduced to two floors, and make everyone eat less? Jack, people today get married once, or two. Three at most. But we want the wedding Rachel has perfect, at least the first. Now, I want to listen the band have chosen. In fact, an orchestra is well known, they are amazing. Listen. You know I love it. You are close my sleeping dragon. If you wake him up, I'm not responsible for their actions. - Do you need help, my friend? - I do not need, Chad. It costs me nothing, really. You do well in heavy lifting. The girls love men spotted. Great men like Chad. You know Chad loves the Great? Money. And when someone takes the money that should Chad is the Great, he gets angry. Then, he takes revenge. Who is your helper now? I think someone needs feel the weight of Chad. Who is the assistant now? That was good. What was I doing? Hi, red alert. Are you serious? Do not move. Can take. I'll be back. My God! Jesus! Wait, do not move. I'm going. Are you okay? Oh, there's a ... The Chad attacked again, is not it? Do what, do you? Tear his balls with a bite. It is an option. Not mine. It does this with all beginners. Up to you? No, I asked him to to me. But you did not ask. He can not stand there you need to position themselves, defend themselves. It's like that guy said, you should be you want to change the world. In fact, it makes total sense. Does it? I do not know what it means That said. So, Ben, is not soft. Well, I need money. Goodbye. Change. Do you come to this bank? It's my first day as a cashier. Can I make a deposit ... or you can make a withdrawal. Hi, girls! I was just exercising. How long I care the zoo? Why do you ask? The anaconda? She'll be in the cage. I'm alone and you are two. Why not join us? It's a baby snake now but it grows. Enough! - Hi - Hi You came home early. What are you doing? I was doing ... yoga. Good. Have you noticed that your ass is eating your underwear? Yes, that happens whenever I do The Downward-Facing Dog. Okay. I saw you on stage soon. Want to go out me when you finish your shift? I can not. I am committed. - I'm sorry. - Big deal, me too. Let's not be afraid. What is the problem? I'm just doing it to pay my marriage. I promised my bride the wedding of her dreams, so ... - But that cute. - Love makes us do these things. What cute. Thank you. Not bad. Not take their clothes off for that. I do not understand, man. Why me? Excuse me, miss. You arrived on time to help with a dilemma, we're having here. Can you explain what attracts him? In fact, you remind me My favorite nephew. Except when you swing your documents in my face, of course. These cowboys want to give a ride. But there's no bull. Receive the Great Chad! Hi, cowboy! Let me pull the trigger! You need to take off some money. Need a lot of money. Why did Chad earn all that money, do not you? He is muscular, up to his nipples are firm. His brain is the size of a peanut, but has self-esteem. He knows who he is. He believes in himself, and it shows. You need to be more as Chad. He is an outlaw. Applause! How about a ride to the barn? Do not feel good? Now, for every woman who ever wanted see a man looking at her thighs ... Trevor and Oleg! The first thing they look at is our thigh. Is not it? Wow! Yes, yes. Heck, he's big thing. I already know. I know! It's called "search for the signs." When I was your age ... was in doubt what to do in life, and a great friend of mine said ... "Go into the wilderness, let the land speak to you ... learn his teachings and meet. " It seems like the dumbest idea I've heard. That's right. I am inside. Thousand dollars on the horse winning. The Lucky Jones fifth. Thank you. And then ... The land is already talking to you, Ben? No. At least here is beautiful. We tend to forget of problems. We see that we are a speck insignificant next to mother nature. Do you know? Matthews? Matthews? Where are you going? Come back here! Go back! Damn! The earth is speaking to me. And you know what she is saying? "Ben, his future father- is a son of a callous and selfish. " No just kidding. You can go back and pick me up? Please? Damn. Matthews ... Who are you? My name is Belthagor. Here, it is best to take something, compadre. Need to stay hydrated here. Do you know what your problem is, Ben? The fact that you know my name? This business is very good. What is it? Blue agave tequila home. It distorts reality. It is. The problem is that you're just a silly coward. Are you a slave system, and too afraid to break free. You need to break currents, man. It's like I used to say when I was in the Air Force. Honor your balls, man. - Honor your balls. - Honor your balls. You've been in the Air Force? They let you fly a plane? Man ... Yes. And I'll tell you ... I think ... have someone in that trailer would love to have a conversation with you. Ben? Hi Hi, you are ... I, but ... child. No. You are me, but old. - This is weird. - I know. We need to talk about some things. What kind of things? This bid dance. You need to relax, man. If you release. The sphincter relaxes a little. How? You're too tense. Very concerned in making an idiot of myself. Who cares? People already think you a fool yourself. - Really? - You need to go ahead. Work as if you did not need money ... love as if it never hurt and if dance like nobody's watching. - Maybe you're right ... - Of course I'm right. Rachel is betting on you, man. It is betting on people. And I do not even like girls. I'd do anything for Rachel. I know I would. She is everything to me. You saw the samurai sword? It's so cool. Of course you saw. No one knows exactly what happened that day in the desert. If it was a dream, it was real ... And does it matter? The important thing is that Ben was another man. Matthews was right. Ben met. Although not all shave the bag after meeting ... but Ben was a man with a mission. Turbine and their motors because it is a very bad boy. Exclusively in Male Locker Room, the Common Man. I love you. Look here. Thank you. I love the Common Man. - Great, let's applaud the Common Man. - Thank you. Yeah, he's like our neighbor, he wants to mow your grass. - I think I've created a monster. - I do not know it was capable of it. Give up fear. - What did you think? - My God, just like Chad. Good boy. Matthews, that is. Thanks, kid. COMMON MAN Everyone is looking around ... trying to figure out what is happening. And then, a nun, looks at his shoe, and says "holy shit". Sure, you do not understand this kind of joke, forget it. Okay, not everyone understands ... Man, that too. They are looking blatantly to me. I'm being eaten with the eyes for these girls. Girls, and so good? We know you. You are the Common Man. Can you give us an autograph? In this place? That's what's chest. One more. - Down there. - It is. Oh my gosh. I also autograph? In your dreams, crazy. He is so hairy. What the hell was that, man? I think I missed something here. What are you doing tonight? Let's go skinny-dipping with the Common Man! Thank you. My goodness! We need to chill this pool. Stop it! Come on. He is a good one. Are you wet? I am. Come on baby. Now another girl on stage that will want to pull her panties because ... the Common Man. Because he also delivers pizza with extra pepperoni. Good evening. Damn! Exit the car, Maureen. $ 500 for you to spank me like a schoolgirl. This is against the rules of the house. We are no longer in the house, loverboy. Thousand dollars and I ride on you as a pogo stick. Good evening, Maureen. At least let me stay with it. Do not touch that. This is very important to me. Do not touch. Get out. Get out. Thank you. Good evening, Maureen. Someone is bravinho today. I'll stick with that. Mad. Hi, love. Hi How was your day? Mine was over. I love you. Are you sure? I love you. Take off my socks? Common Man, I was thinking. What do you think of taking to headline the Friday night? I do not know, Mr. Niles. Are you kidding? On Friday rolls a lot of money. Hey, better work when women are more drunk, and believe me, they are never more drunk than on Friday. But the Chad? It is not his shift? Yeah, yeah, Chad ... The Chad is great ... but his presentations are outdated. You know, nobody can be number one forever, is not it? Is not it? It is not, man? You're Justin Timberlake, and it is the Village People. - Yeah, Niles? - Great Chad! You can pick up your Friday, and shove it. Wait, wait. Please, Chad. Listen. I'm sorry. You'll have a bath in the mud and you were the chosen friend. Remember what I said. Ben was bright, successful, beautiful ... I almost wanted to sleep with him. The problem is that he was still feeling the pressure of marriage. You like them? Sample wedding invitation. - Why you got so much alike? - I'm trying to do everything right. I am struggling and no one is seeing the stress that I'm passing. And why, why are you covering nipples with a towel? It was cold in the bathroom. And Rachel is smart. She was beginning to suspect something. A problem, dear? Yes, it's Ben. There's something going on, and I do not know what it is. He walks too far lately. You know, we do not talk more. We do not ... You do not? No, we do not ... Welcome to my world. I thought he was happy, you know? I'm happy. Nobody ever made me feel the way that makes me Ben. And that other guy? You know that your father wanted as a man. Cole? Are you kidding? Cole looked cool, but he never made me laugh the way Ben does. Why have you done with it? Why did he betray me with my best friend. It is. Maybe you should call him. The case between the two might be over. I do not want Cole, mother. I want Ben. And if he no longer want to marry? I can not force him to marry me. Yes you can. Sure you can. That's what therapists. And my friend Grace by chance has a great therapist. This is not the problem. Well, things have improved. Our wedding will be in less than a month. We have felt the stress, a little but it has some other problem with Ben ... he walks too far, but he did not tell me what you think. So here I am. There is, Ben? I'd like to talk to each separately. Do you mind, Rachel? You can leave a little, please? - No, no problem. - I think I could stay here ... Rachel, do not ... My God. Sure, Ben, there is a kind abandonment here. - Maureen, what are you doing? - I think we need to talk ... about it face to face. This is not necessary, Maureen. Seriously. What? I'm not attractive enough? You are very attractive, is that ... - My ass is too soft? - No, it's pretty stiff, you can see. And my breasts? They are not big enough for you? Please. What is it? What did you say, Ben? It hurts, it hurts. Enough, Maureen, Maureen. - Can you imagine what you can do to me? - I do not want to imagine. - Come on, Ben! - I do not want to imagine. That's it. My God! Ben! Are you ready? Come on. We'll be fine. Camelina already prepared everything for the power point presentation ... the meeting with the executives? We're trying, but it seems that the projector ... So be faster. The meeting is in ten minutes. Not eleven, ten. Jesus, what a nightmare. Ben, I looked for you everywhere. - But what? - So this is where the magic happens. What are you doing here? We need to talk. Have a second? I do not ... I do not. You can handle it? What was, what happened? You need to quit her job here. Why do that? Why are you a machine to make money, my friend. We need to think big, and take care of your marketing. We need to create brand the Common Man. You know, you need to get out of nightclubs, go to birthday parties, bat mitzvahs to. Wait, why are you talking about "we"? Well, we're partners. Are not we? Matthews, something happened and you are hiding. Okay, okay. Promise you will not freak out? Sure. Right. I've lost all our money, Ben. Are you serious? As you do this, Matthews? Well, it was a card game. Card game? What happened to the application, and that great investment? And "I have a plan." What happened? I thought this would be a secure investment in the short term. I had the best cards the deck. You know how likely for the other guy got better cards? It was one in a million. Very rare. I should not have bet everything I'm sorry. But I can change everything in a pinch. Man! A helper is well! Wait, Ben. I also lost my car. I know, I'm not a good day. And I took a taxi here ... was expensive, and I have no money enough ... What is this? A bus? What madness. A bus. Faster, Camelina. Here you go. I tried to distract them, but are not messing around. Okay, it might work. Damn. See? What did I say? You are a slave to the system. You are a disgrace, Camelina. Camelina? - Camelina! - What? - What is it? - Never talk to me like that. In fact, I never talk to me, only I say. Do you understand? He can answer that, or is it worth now? You shut up. You're a nothing, Camelina. You say the guy from T. I? But I'll tell you what his "T.I." means. "Totally Stupid". My grandmother had more courage than you. I have news for you, Miss. Entojo. See it! Camelina! Come down. I do not want. - Do something. - He's doing well. Monday to Friday, Monday through Friday! Security! Camelina! Down, down! I'm going down, love. I'm going down! It is time for the conference! Listen to Miss. Entojo, folks. By the way, shut up! You will not stop me. I am a free man. You can not fire me, I ask because the bills ... - I'm outta here. - Come on. I'll take the Chinese to me, dammit! Get off me! Must admit, it was absolutely too much. But I found? What is it? Chad, we can dance with you Strip-the Pope-Luz? You are joking, right? You are a complement, an accessory. The Strip-pope-Luz is a serious thing. And the amazing Chad goes alone. That was not like? Well, too bad. Now, outside, are scaring me. Hi, all right, smack balls? Know that we will find Strip-in-Luza Pope tomorrow. Happy? Yes, I'm happy. No, actually, I'm not. That's right, Ben. I love men with self-confidence. You can stop, I know silly. That check for $ 69,000 already has a name, Chad is great. This is fact. Common Man, go to the cabin, is a bachelorette party. STRIP-TO-Luca, TOMORROW. GRAND PRIX OF 69 THOUSAND DOLLARS Check out the stuff! Who is this? One second. Maureen, what you want now? I can not stop thinking you. You are in my dreams, in my fantasies. You understand me? You ruined my life. I tried to be polite. Do you know? Now I want you to stay away from me. I do not want you, and would never want to ... pursued even if your spit money as an ATM. Persecuted? I'll be back, ladies. Do not touch that. I mean, so? - Maureen! - Hello, nice. How kind of you, thank you. Congratulations and all that. - Thank you. - Maureen! Girls, I'll be back. Maureen, your crazy nymphomaniac. Give it here! Returns! Hi, want a ride? Yes, thank you. Follow that insect there. What is turning right. Why do we have to follow that car? You have been stolen? It is, as you know? It always happens. Should get a lot of girls this car is not it? Actually, no. What are you doing? She is going away. We will miss it. Why are you stopping? - What are you doing? - You are giving a hard, horny that. No! Stop it! Let me out of here. Not funny, unlock the door. Kiss me. Let me out of here, its crazy. Young lady, where do you go? Come here. Stopped! I said stop! We have a fugitive. Get up, get up! Stand up. Place your hands on the head. And separate the fingers. - Already are. - Are you facing me? - No. - Take two steps back. Come on. Stop it. Move your feet. Move more. Cross your feet. - Let us cross. - Cross your feet. Place hands on hips. Hold your breath. I changed my mind, move your feet. Place your hands on the head. Stop it. Lower. Tap your feet, man. - Wow. - No, you can get up, get up! Turn around. - I'm sorry, I did not see the lights. - Right, right ... Seriously, I never ... It is silent. Is tight. Wow! Let me see your wrist. Love, hi, me again. Where are you? I'm starting to get worried. Call me when you hear the message, okay? I love you. No sound here. We can create one. - We show for it. - Yes - Let's see? - Want to be a pervert or a prostitute? I will be weighed. Come on. How much do you charge per hour, precious? $ 50. Discount for seniors. This ... This ... No, no. No! - I can not. - It's too big for my mouth. Wow, was very good. And it was fast. See? Quiet. - It's not funny. - I know. So how about this test? He offered me a ride. - You're disgusting. - It is. - And why the silver floss? - Not what you're thinking. - Is not it? - So what is it? - Look, if you ... - Sitting. Okay. It is they turn the image, will see that I was trying ... - Trying to what? - Unlock the door. With this thong? I know it seems, but I can assure things that did not happen. He had oral sex. He touched me ... Can we start again? You want to hear again? Okay, let's go. - No, the tape ... - Let us again. Whether you again? - I want to be a prostitute now. - A whore? - I want! - Okay, let's get back. - OK. - You have sex with singles? I accept meal vouchers also I am a cheap whore. - Return the money because I'm ugly. - Whore cheap. Something terrible has happened. Honey, stop worrying. He is an adult. Should be fine. He never did it before, he, he ... He never stayed out so late, much less without binding. It is Ben. Ben, where are you? We spent a sleepless night. Arrested? Why? You said "male prostitution"? Seriously, Spiderman ... I'm flattered to have found My pretty mouth. Seriously. I can make you very happy. I guess I could think straight. VALLEY POLICE DEPARTMEN I think I owe you an explanation. Please, do not be so. Rachel, I love you. Love? Do not talk to me about love, our love is really a farce. What are you talking about? I do not know, maybe you're on the street, selling her body in the middle of the night. - You may have to do with it. - Not what you're thinking. Well, you were not collecting donations for the church. Mother, please. This is not your account. None of my account? In the last six weeks, I am killing me to help organize ... marriage for you, and Mister Universe. Of course none of my business. The marriage will not happen again, for sure. Rachel ... You do not know what I'm doing. I'm doing it for you ... I do not want to hear. I do not want to hear any more and you arrive. I loved you, Ben. I trusted you. That's what I deserve for being so stupid. - Yeah, yeah. - Be quiet, mother! Stop the car. Now. That sounds good. Let's stop and calm down. Get out of here. What? Rachel. Sai you. This car is my mother. Okay. I go out. I came here to pay bail Ben Camelina. This name is familiar to me. The deep throat. You can not. He already was. It was? He kicked the bucket? What did you say? If he "kicked the bucket"? I do not hear this from the seventies. No one kicked the bucket, it kicks the bucket, close the jacket. Someone has posted bail for him. Now out of here. Thank you. - And no running in the lobby. - OK. Where's Ben? What does it matter? He must have told everything. The face is what is happening. Honey, I'm sorry. It's all my fault. What? As well, it's all your fault? I forced to do so. I know it was a bad idea, but what can I say? Ben was good. - He was good? - Actually, he was great. How do you know? Well, I watched him every night. I'm going to vomit. It was not that bad. I even learned some things. Ben has been innovating and getting better and better. It was something incredible. And so, one needed managing money. My God, and we were winning money like mad. Wait, you were the pimp him? No, I prefer the name "Administrator of business." This story is getting worse. Look, dear, do not know if that makes a difference to you, but ... he had especially for women. Mostly? Well, sometimes he had gay men. Good. I'm glad he did more sex with strange women ... than with men. Who mentioned the word "sex"? Sex tends to be a very important in prostitution, is not it? Okay, let's recap this conversation. And when the going gets tough, for whom you care? For your best buddy in the world. What will you do now? The bags, I think. Over? Really? I think being arrested for prostitution male ends up with anything. Find another woman. Come on, it's okay. He's living a dream. You are the "common man". The girls are coming, asking to autograph her breasts ... and elsewhere. Not sure why I feel sorry for you, of truth. Not supposed to be, you know? Yeah. Thank you for me, Lewis. Company you want, man? Dancer in the night? Yeah, I wanted to marry a lawyer, but ... How to let it go, Jack? How can you lie to us? I did not lie to you. I just omit the truth. Why did you would become a stripper? This is a good question. It is best to prepare for response. I can not find my vitamins. The tablets are in the drawer. How do I say this delicately? We are broken. - What? - Wait, what broke? No, dear, we're broke. Broken? I mean, no money? Not a penny. But at least we have each other, right? We had a trick up his sleeve. Ben would win the Strip-pope-Luz, e. .. would pay for the wedding. Everything was out in the end. Strip-Pope what? It is the biggest competition of male strippers the country's e. .. good, an event is transmitted live on TV. Ben would be naked on TV? No, Ben was going to be dental floss on television. My God. Honey, do not blame Ben for it. Please. It was all my fault. And he was doing it for you. All he wanted was to give the wedding of your dreams. E. .. I do too. Ben would do it for me? Yes, he would. Now that I know well, I think I would do almost anything for you. He loves you, Rachel. I could not expect anything else a son in law. What time would he have? In just over an hour. STRIP-PAPA-Luz Twenty years, five hundred cans of hairspray ... four thousand gallons of depilatory wax ... and millions of horny women around the world. The National Association of strippers male ... proudly presents Strip-the-pope Luza number twenty. Ben, my father told me everything. About money, striptease, everything. I'm sorry, okay I. .. Ben, for. Being in night, by stripping to make money ... for marriage doing this for me ... It makes me the luckiest woman the world. Really? I love you so much, Ben camelish. I love you, Rachel Matthews. Camelina. Well, I think it's time Lewis Gardner fall out ... before rolling the sex of reconciliation. Not yet. Ben comes in 20 minutes, not I will miss the chance to see him dancing ... in front of a lot of women hysterical. Are you sure? You'll flip when you see my little steps. I'm like a ninja on stage. - Come on. - Thank you. And now, the man who has never seen a mirror without falling in love, Chad! Okay, where the hell are they? Putting the matter in a day coffee? And onstage, coming there from Australia, here it is, kangaroo jumping Jack! It'll be nice. I'll use that fancy? Use what you're wearing, you will get it. That's what I like. Common Man, you're next. Excuse me, sir. Yes? The Common Man has not arrived yet. Could you wait few minutes for him? Why do not you go on stage and speaks to a studio full ... of excited women, we stop the show ... because of an idiot who does not know read the time. That's great. To talk like that? The wave of love coming from Tokyo. Please receive ... the great Tsunami! Jack, do something. - Need to act, to buy time for them. - And how do I do this? I do ask. You are the king of lies. This is not my problem. It's your problem, yes. This whole situation is a ridiculous problem of its own, Jack. Stop taking the body out. Be a man. You are right. Hope you're not running away, Jack Matthews. - What are you doing? - Man, I'd use it tomorrow. Improvising. Pay attention to the road. Ladies, there was a change in the program. But you will love. Receive the "99 cents". And there, DJ? Passing. Go, go, go. And that, ladies? Uncle Sven? Bill? It is Ben. You will not perform, are you? No, I created the strip-pope-Luz. And I was rich. Remember my mother, is not it? How do I forget? She taught me things that I did not know existed. She has already shown the videos we did together? I saw your performance unwittingly you were great. Thank you. What are you doing here? Introducing myself. Wonder. Thanks! I just wanted to say you always made me feel as if I had a father. Okay. Interval, called the range. It's my husband. Cut, cut! Ladies, please. Thank you, girls. And now, I want lots of applause ... for the sole and exclusive Common Man! I love you. My goodness! Ladies, control yourself! Let me go, let me go! Stay connected. After the break ... we'll announce the winner vigzimo the Strip-Pope-Luz. Thank you, guys. Please, thank you. I want to thank all competitors, for this beautiful night we had, is not it? Applause to them. Yeah, they were phenomenal. And now we will announce our winner. Come on. The Ice Man and Gelinhos. That's it! That's it. Congratulations. Very well. Congratulations. Personal, applause! Love, you were amazing. I know. Not amazing enough to win, but he deserved it. That's life. Ben did not win the money ... but more importantly, he won Rachel's heart. But look at the situation ... she will marry a guy what was once a stripper. He will shake the very bedroom. I do not want a fancy wedding. I was delighted with the magazines, and TV shows ... and believe all the crap I read about having a perfect marriage. Ben, Ben. I think not. It's not fair. Can not believe he won. These people should be prosecuted. - It was really stolen. - Jack, relax. I do not want to have a heart attack and die ... I will now that I find attractive for the first time in ten years. Really? How did this happen? Was it the robot as well? - Enough, can we go? - Yes - Come on. - Come on. Thanks for everything, Matthews. It is Mr. Matthews. Just kidding, call me "father." There is not much to talk about now. Mr. Matthews decided to pursue their dreams ... and retired from financial advisor. Now he is a professional player. The table is mine. Damn! Miss. Watson was fired after a day of drinking ... they sent an email to company-wide ... with a naked photo of our President annexed. This is my story, and I'll keep it until the end. And you must be wondering ... what happened to that man manly named Lewis Gardner and sexy. And Ben Camelina ... He began to devote their drawings. There are many people behind him because of a comic book ... he wrote called "Everyman." They are even talking about doing a movie about it. As Hollywood is ridiculous. And by the way, Ben and Rachel found a way of paying for the wedding. So the power vested in me the state of California ... Dressing the Male and the guy upstairs ... I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride, lucky asshole |
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