(Rain falling)
(Strikes)
(Hooters blaring)
(Big Ben continues)
Mr Howard?
Wouldn't it be better
if you went home?
No, l'd, er...l'd rather wait.
There's no further news yet.
- How long will it be?
- Not for some time, l'm afraid.
l'd rather wait.
- Can l get you a cup of tea?
- No, thanks.
Nurse, would you...
would you give my wife a message?
Of course.
What do you want me to say?
Well, would you tell her that...
Just give her my love. That's all.
l suppose you have fellows like me often,
making exactly the same fuss.
- Must happen every day.
- Yes.
But they don't all try
and burn down the hospital.
Oh, l'm terribly sorry!
l do hope it hasn't left a mark.
You know, Mr Howard,
l've loved nursing your wife.
- And she's told me such a lot about you.
- l hope it hasn't been too bad.
- Well, not too bad.
- What did she say?
Oh, that you work too hard
and that you smoke too much.
And that you never know
which is your own toothbrush.
You must come to see us when it's all over.
You'll be able to laugh at me
for making a fool of myself.
l shan't laugh at you.
l can just imagine how you feel...
- Are you married?
- No.
- Engaged?
- Yes. At least...
- You know all about being in love, then?
- Oh, yes.
l'm old-fashioned. l still think
it's the most important thing in life.
And the only sane thing. When it's real,
not the sort of thing you read about.
Yes, l think that too. But perhaps
we're not old enough to know.
Perhaps when we're old and grey,
we'll be disillusioned.
No, l don't think so.
Besides, l feel old and grey now.
You soon will be
if you go on worrying like this.
We shall need Dr Connor.
Will you get him at once?
Nurse, bring the patient to theatre.
We have to operate.
Sorry.
He brought you some flowers.
And he asked me to give you his love.
Was he like you expected, Nurse?
l mean, you weren't disappointed?
Not a bit.
He's awfully nice, isn't he?
Perhaps l exaggerated
in telling you he was so good-looking.
But... Well, l think
he's quite good-looking.
- Don't you?
- Yes, quite good-looking.
- (Sobs)
- Now, Mrs Howard, come on.
lt's not so bad really.
(Bicycle bells ring, car horns toot)
- What chance has she got, Doctor?
- Very little, l'm afraid.
- Child will be all right though.
- l'm sorry for the husband.
Yes. Why don't you knock off?
You want to get away, don't you?
- Yes, but l must see the case through.
- Where are you going?
Oh, only to Bexborough.
- With family?
- No, just with friends.
Oh, the same friends
that wait for you every evening?
- Yes, Doctor, exactly the same.
- l don't understand you young people.
- Why don't you get married?
- lt isn't easy on my salary.
- That's a young man's worry.
- His isn't much better.
- Why, what's he do?
- He works in an office.
- And we both have to help at home.
- You know your own business best.
After all, we can't wait forever.
Besides, you never know
what's going to happen in the world.
You've got to try and be happy
while you can.
l'm afraid we were born
20 years too early, Sister.
Speak for yourself, Doctor. The conductor
still calls me ''Miss'' on the bus.
Oh?
(Woman laughs)
(Women giggling)
(Child) Please, let us past!
(Woman) Oh, my parcel!
(Woman shrieking)
- Ooh, the paper's torn.
- l'm awfully sorry.
You will be if you've spoilt
my new sunsuit!
Why don't you look
where you're going?
Don't worry, dear. l've got a needle.
l'll mend it...
Doreen, it'll be all right, don't worry.
There's that man again.
Woman's World, Peg's Paper,
Betty's Own and Woman's Weekly.
- l'll never be able to wear it.
- Doreen, don't, it's torn ever so little.
Yes, but just where it matters.
(Man) Bexborough nonstop!
Have your tickets ready, please.
Come on now. Steady there now, steady.
Which do you want, Peg's or Betty's?
Aunt Mabel does the answers
to the correspondence in that one.
Yes, l once wrote and asked how to stop
my fianc from going off with another girl.
l didn't get an answer for three weeks
and by that time, he'd gone.
Ooh. (Giggles)
(Men chattering)
Doreen, look,
there's that awful Miss Mayfair!
- Bit to the right, Miss Mayfair.
- Hold it!
That's fine. Thank you.
Can you beat that? They're
photographing her for the papers.
- Thank you, Miss Mayfair.
- A little higher, please.
Little bit to the right.
Sauce!
Anybody would think she was
Miss England already, the airs she has.
Don't upset yourself.
lf they knew who you were,
they'd be photographing you.
- Go and tell them who l am.
- Ooh, l don't like to.
l'd do anything for you,
but l should laugh.
You are a soppy thing!
Doreen, l know,
you stand here and look casual,
put one foot on the step
and show your leg...
- Oh, Milly, no.
- You'll have to show more tomorrow.
- Thank you.
- Thank you very much.
Here she is, Miss Fulham.
Look, Miss Fulham!
Wotcher, Fulham!
- lt's no good. Pull your skirt down.
- Beasts!
They'll grin the other side of their silly faces
when you're Miss England.
- Come on, we'll lose our places.
- Where's my sunsuit?
There, l put it quite safe, dear.
(Man) Nonstop Bexborough!
Nonstop Bexborough!
- Porter, put my luggage in here.
- Bexborough, nonstop! Bexborough!
- Did you see that?
- Women like that
ought to be whipped through the streets.
- (Train whistle blows)
- Nonstop Bexborough!
(Passengers cheering)
(Guard's whistle blows)
- Bexborough?
- 253, platform five.
- What time?
- Join the queue over there.
- Art...
- Don't argue. Come on.
- Go on.
- Go on. Go on.
- Careful.
- Mind me... Oh, me hat!
- Here, go on, dear, follow your dad.
- All right, Mummy.
- 'Ere, where's Marina?
- l thought she was with you.
- What did you let go of her for?
- Marina!
Marina!
Marina! Marina!
Marina, come here this instant!
Arthur, Arthur,
Marina's gone down the convenience.
l can't be in two places at once.
Why don't you hang on to the kids?
Look after the place in the queue.
Mum, Mum, Ken's mucking about
with the chocolate machine!
Ken boy! Ken!
Come here this instance!
You keep the place in the queue.
Leave that be.
Spending your holiday money already!
Come here, give me that chocolate!
Give it here! Come here!
(Boys shouting)
You come here! Thank you, sir.
You know what children are.
Nearly knocking the gentleman over!
- Not at all, not at all.
- That's quite all right.
You behave yourself!
''Oh, not at all''!
What do you think you are? Lady Muck?
l only was pleased at finding
a young man be so polite.
Oh, me hair's coming down!
He must've thought l looked a scarecrow.
Shut it, he's got something better to do
than to look at you. Come on, kids.
One of these days. You wait!
- Push over, mate.
- What's your game? Take your turn!
You can see that stuff is ours.
Anybody with half an eye could.
- Get down the end, will you?
- 'Ere, come on, Arthur.
- Get out of it, will you?
- See the sorts we're mixing with?
We ought to have gone to Southend.
(Man on PA) Attention, please.
Next train for Bexborough,
number two platform.
Art! Art! 'Ere!
Art?
One moment, she's just coming now.
Hello, Geoffrey.
Look, l'm sorry, l'm still here.
l'm afraid l can't come yet.
Cath, you said you'd be here by two o'clock.
l've been at the station for ages.
Poor little Geoff, do forgive me.
But you see...
Surely those selfish blighters
will let you off on August bank holiday?
lt'll soon be over at this rate.
- Listen, Geoff, Dr Nicholls said l could go.
- Well, why haven't you, then?
Would you walk out
in the middle of an important job?
lf it meant keeping
a chap hanging about, l would.
Well, it's a matter of life and death.
Geoff, they operated this afternoon
and the patient hasn't come round yet.
All right.
But try and get a move on.
l say, Cath, what about the Grand?
lt's the best hotel in Bexborough.
Mm-hm. But Geoff,
won't it be rather expensive?
Hang the expense!
l've been saving up. l'm going to blue the lot.
No, Geoff.
Listen, l...l've got to go now.
Will you ring me back later?
All right, darling. Goodbye.
- How soon?
- ln an hour.
Sorry.
l assure you, we did everything we could.
Will you see the baby now,
Mr Howard?
The baby, Mr Howard.
Won't you come and see him?
No. No, never.
No, l never want to see it.
l'd like to see her now. Could l?
Of course.
( Lively piano playing, distant)
(Woman screams, piano stops)
(Children shouting)
(Piano playing restarts)
l've poured out some water for you.
l'm all right, thanks. Don't worry.
Mr Howard, isn't there
something l can do for you?
No, thanks. l'll go now.
There's nothing to wait for, is there?
Can l get you a taxi?
Would you like me to come with you?
l mean, shouldn't
somebody see you home?
Why?
l thought you might not
like to be alone.
No.
Don't mind my asking, but at your home,
there's no one there, is there?
No, there's no one there.
Don't you think you should have
someone to see you're all right?
- l think you should.
- No, thank you, Nurse. Don't worry.
l told you, l should be all right.
- Stephen!
- Ann! Where have you been all this time?
But where have you? The last time l saw you,
you'd got your first job
and were trying to grow a moustache!
Was it that long ago? Oh, yes, l remember,
you'd just put your hair up.
- Anyway, we found each other.
- We won't lose each other this time.
- Come out with me.
- Oh, Stephen, l can't. l'm on my way home.
Mother's expecting me. Telephone me
tomorrow and we'll arrange something.
Why tomorrow?
You know it never comes. Tonight.
Don't be silly, there's no hurry.
We've all our lives.
(Whistle blows)
- Hello, Geoff.
- Cath, at last!
That's not much of a kiss
to wait two hours for.
Poor little Geoff.
lt must've been miserable for you.
- That's better.
- Don't let's waste time.
- Where does the train go from?
- Over there. l've got tickets.
- l wish you'd stop calling me little Geoff.
- Why?
- lt sounds stupid. l'm five nine and a half.
- That's not the point.
- That's how l think of you, as little Geoff.
- Stop thinking of me like that.
- On the left, sir.
- My extravagant Geoff.
Because we're going to the Grand?
That's nothing!
l've never been to a big hotel. Have you?
- Cath, of course l have!
- Geoff, when?
- Several times.
- You never told me.
Haven't l?
Come on, here's an empty one.
Here, what's the idea?
Oh, Cath! Come on, Cath.
Stand in the window
and look like a crowd.
No, let's sit in the corner
like a honeymoon couple.
We are a honeymoon couple, aren't we?
Geoff, don't. People will see us.
- (Woman) Here's one, this'll do.
- Stand by the window.
There's only two in here.
Make room for others.
- lt's a first, Phyllis!
- Why didn't you say?
Some people seem to think
they bought the train!
- Geoff, didn't you notice this was a first?
- They stay where they are.
- You'll be caught by the inspector.
- Listen...
do you think l'd take you third
on an occasion like this?
Darling, l wish you wouldn't
pull me and push me about.
Sorry.
- Did you actually get first-class tickets?
- l thought it would please you.
- Whatever l did would be wrong.
- No, Geoff, it was sweet of you.
- Don't be bad-tempered. What's the matter?
- lt's not me, it's you.
You haven't been yourself
since we met.
And after hanging about
all that time for you...
- You wouldn't even kiss me properly.
- Oh, Geoff, l did.
lt's all turning out
so different to what l expected.
You don't seem a bit thrilled
about going away together at last.
l know, Geoff, but the case upset me.
- The girl died.
- Oh. Oh, l am sorry.
l ought to have cottoned on
it was something like that.
l suppose l'm selfish,
but you know how it is, Cath.
l've been looking forward
to this for months now.
l've thought of nothing else for weeks past.
l've saved up every penny so that
we could stay somewhere decent
because l want to give you
a really grand time, Cath.
Oh, gosh, l am happy to be alone with you.
Just think of it, the whole weekend
to forget the hospital, the office and...
just think about our two selves.
You know, it worries me that the work
at the hospital is so hard for you.
lt's marvellous the way you stick it.
But l promise that...
Cath, you're not listening.
Yes, l am. l heard every word you said.
No, you were thinking
about something else.
No, l wasn't.
(Letterbox clatters)
l didn't half have a business
with Mother and Dad!
Said l was going camping
with a chap from the office.
- Did they believe you?
- l think so. Then Dad said
it was funny to go camping
in these clothes.
- Do you think they suspected?
- Who cares anyway?
Would they get a shock
if they could see me in that big hotel?
Geoff, you haven't told me
when you stayed in a big hotel before.
- Are you sure it wasn't with some girl?
- My word of honour.
l'm about the only chap
at the office who hasn't, l can tell you that.
- Really?
- Cath, l didn't mean it like that.
lt's just that
l'm so worked up about everything.
- That you're doing this for me.
- What are you talking about?
- l wouldn't come if l didn't want to.
- l know.
But what people would say about you...
- Do you mind what they say?
- l don't mind if you don't.
Geoff, we've been over this scores of times.
You know l think we're justified.
Of course, when...when two people
love each other... Cath, you do love me?
What's that?
ls Nurse Catharine there?
Just a minute.
- Hello.
- Oh, Nurse Catharine.
l want to accept your offer after all.
You're right, it's impossible
for me to stay in the flat alone.
Nurse Catharine left some time ago.
Oh, l'm sorry.
- So you see, he left it on the table.
- You never told me about the husband.
- Yes, l did.
- No, you didn't.
You said it was a difficult case
and the girl died.
Don't be silly. Of course l told you.
- Why do you want to keep the lighter?
- l don't.
l just put it in my bag
so l could give it back.
- So that you could meet him again?
- Send it back, then.
You really are being ridiculous, Geoff.
Don't spoil everything by quarrelling.
You've got to stop thinking
about this darned case.
You won't make a good nurse until
you see it as part of the business.
- l'm not going to quarrel.
- l'll try not to think of it.
- No, not try, promise.
- Promise, then.
That's the girl. Now everything's gonna be
OK and we're gonna have a marvellous time.
- Geoff, did you book at the hotel?
- No.
- Oughtn't you to have?
- Not at a place like the Grand.
Besides, Bexborough won't be as
full as all that.
Let's walk down to the front
and listen to the band.
Look, Geoff! There's the Grand.
Looks all right, doesn't it?
No, no. Wait for the commissionaire.
- How much is that?
- Half a crown, please, sir.
Thank you.
Do l call him over?
l don't know. You said
you'd been to a big hotel before.
Cath, l think we ought
to pretend we're married.
- Geoff, l haven't got a ring.
- l have. Third finger, left hand.
Little Geoff certainly thinks of everything.
- Don't call me that.
- What?
- l told... l asked you not to before.
- l'm sorry, l forgot.
Don't be nervous, Geoff.
Cath, l wish you wouldn't keep...
(Woman) Paging Mr Thrower!
- Got the ring on properly?
- Mm-hm.
l hope l don't see anybody l know.
(Woman) Paging Mr Thrower!
Paging Mr Thrower!
- Oh, dear, that's rather early.
- l'll see if l can find you a later one.
- Let's talk about something.
- l can't think of anything.
(Clears throat)
- What?
- Oh, nothing.
- Does the...
- When shall we...
Does the charge include breakfast?
l don't know. l think so.
l never eat breakfast.
You mean you never eat breakfast?
l never knew that.
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you, madam.
- l want a double room and...
- Just a moment, sir, please.
- Now, sir.
- A room for myself and my wife.
We want a room facing the sea.
With a private bath. 1 8 and 6, isn't it?
- Does that include breakfast?
- l'm sorry, we're all booked up.
Oh. Well, what...what's your next price?
l'm afraid we've nothing at all.
Oh, but surely...
What, absolutely nothing at all?
l'm afraid not, sir. One moment.
l've got a small single room. That do you?
- What do you think, dear?
- Well, no, l don't think it would do at all.
- Oh, well, l'm afraid it's no good, then.
- l'm sorry.
Wait a minute.
Ooh, Doreen, we can't come in here.
Of course we can.
lf l don't sit down, my feet'll burst.
- Supposing they ask what we want?
- Well, we can order some tea.
l'm not hunting for any more rooms
until l've have my feet off the floor.
Doreen, look!
Let's find your name, dear.
Miss Fulham, Doreen Richards.
Ooh, aren't you proud?
- lt's in quite big letters too.
- As big as Miss Mayfair's!
That's right, dear.
Doreen, come away. That man behind
the counter's looking at us.
Milly, you are a soppy thing! There's
nothing to be frightened of. Come on...
(Milly) Ooh, there's that awful Miss Mayfair!
Ooh, did you see that? Common thing!
lt's absolutely disgusting.
Stuck-up beast!
Stuck out, you mean.
Did you see those hips?
- Did you see how she was made up?
- Fancy going into the bar by herself!
Expect she's always drinking cocktails.
Cocktails? Oh, cocktails are nothing.
l've had plenty. Haven't you?
l know, let's go and have some now.
l'll treat you.
(Giggles) Oh, Doreen, you are...
Oh, you are an unsophisticated thing.
Come on.
Excuse me, but you're sitting
on my Woman's World.
- Oh, good evening.
- (Both) Good evening.
- What will you have, dear?
- Well, what have they got?
Well, l think some cocktails.
Martini, Manhattan,
Bronx, Sidecar, Old-Fashioned,
Mountain Climber, Wild Jig, White Lady,
Maiden's Prayer, Satan's Whiskers,
Red Devil Special, Donkey Kick.
(Giggles)
Erm, well, l don't really know what
to choose. Er, you choose, dear.
- Two Benedictines, please.
- Just a minute, sir.
- What about some Benedictine?
- That would be lovely.
- We'll try some Benedictine, please.
- Very good.
They're only crisps.
- What teeny glasses.
- That's just to taste, just to see if we like it.
Yes, we'll have some of that.
Say when.
(Man) l never saw so many people
in the water in my life.
There was thousands of them!
Oi, take your hand off that bell, mate.
No use trying here.
Sleeping three in a bed already.
(Laughs)
(Man) They'll never get in anywhere.
Looks as though we made a mistake
in turning down that single room.
- What next? El Morocco?
- We've been there.
Come on, we'll try Mon Repos.
Look, Art, there's that young chap
that acted so nice.
You can see he's a college boy.
l love college boys.
You ought to be ashamed
of yourself, your age.
Do you remember when you used to
meet me at the Hammersmith Palais?
- A college boy once asked me to dance.
- ( Trumpet playing)
How do you know he was a college boy?
Oh, l could tell. Got on them plus fours.
- 'Ere, Arthur...
- Shan't be half a jiff.
Oh, don't make us late.
We haven't got our accommodation yet.
What do you think l'm going in there for?
lf the locals don't who's full up and who ain't,
who does?
Oh, all right.
Well, don't go and get full up yourself.
Hector, leave that dirty stuff alone.
Two shadows in the moonlight!
So dear to me!
Two shadows in the moonlight!
Just you and me...
Sorry, l've nothing.
( Lively piano music)
Oh, l do wish l could get these shoes off.
- Perhaps we should try the back of the town.
- What's the use, Geoff? They'll be full too.
- Cath?
- Mm?
- What about the beach?
- Oh, Geoff.
Well, it'll be nice and quiet there.
- All right.
- Come on, then.
(Man) Come along, gentlemen,
bar's closed!
Dad! Dad's coming! Dad!
(Children shouting)
(Milly) Two shadows in the moonlight
Just you and me
Two shadows in the moonlight...
(Hums melody)
What l say is, dear, you should never
have let your fianc know you cared.
Don't be silly, Milly.
What are you talking about?
lt's what Aunt Mabel advises
in Betty's Own -
a girl should never
let a man know she cares for him
until after the marriage. lt cheapens it.
You wait till Jack sees
my picture in the papers.
''Miss England, Doreen Richards.''
- He'll wish he hadn't left me then.
- That's right, just you show him.
lf l do win, Mill - oh, but l must -
l'd feel like somebody.
Losing Jack
has made me feel like nobody.
Doreen, you? Nobody?
Well, if you're nobody,
whatever on earth can l be?
Thank you, dear.
You know, Mill, when he sent me
that letter saying everything was over,
l said to myself, l said,
''There's only one thing to be done.
- ''l must pretend l never met him.''
- Doreen, you're wonderful!
You're much too good for any man,
that's what it is.
Still, l think l'd rather be jilted by a nice boy
than never to have had
a nice boy at all.
Oh, poor old Mill, haven't you ever
had a man's arms around you?
Well, dear, don't tell anyone, l'll tell you.
l haven't. Of course l've thought about it
a lot and imagined it.
l don't suppose l ever shall know, really.
Poor old Mill.
Phew! lt's hot.
l think we'd better go. They want to
close and we haven't got our rooms yet.
Our parcels!
l'm terrified l'll leave my sunsuit somewhere.
- l couldn't enter the competition without it.
- Supposing you did!
- How are your feet now, dear?
- Lovely. l can't feel them at all.
- (Waves lapping shore)
- l think it'll be romantic, don't you?
Just you and l.
(Giggles)
What are you laughing at?
Oh, l...l'm so sorry.
Cheer up, Geoff. lt may not be a room
in the Grand, but at least it's facing the sea.
- 'Ere, what's the idea?
- What's the matter?
- That man insulted me.
- Who did?!
- He did.
- Him?
l wouldn't touch her with a bargepole.
Oh, you wouldn't? Get up, come on!
- Me?
- Yes.
l said l wouldn't touch her
with a bargepole and l wouldn't.
- Oh.
- 'Ere, do you want a fight?
- l'd blind ya...
- Who, me?
Leave him alone! Lie down.
- He'll hit you. Remember your gallstones.
- (Laughs)
What are you laughing about? l'll give you
something worse than gallstones!
(All shout)
Leave him to me!
Where were you educated?
- Who, me?
- Yes. Balliol?
- Shut up, you!
- l'll show you!
(All shout)
(Shouting continues)
Two shadows in the moonlight...
- What's it all about, Geoff?
- l don't know.
(Both shout at once)
(Shouting continues)
l'll see to you in the morning.
That's if you're still there.
l shall be there.
Number one, that's my address.
(Shouting subsides)
Number one. Pleasant dreams.
l hope you get run over in 'em.
You... Touch you?
- Doreen, did you dream last night? l did.
- What?
Dreamt l woke up and a good-looking
solider got his arms right round me.
And l've always wondered what it felt like.
- What was it like?
- Like being in a lovely, hot bath
with cold water running down your back.
Oh, that's nothing.
Doreen, don't say anything.
l've got a funny feeling
it really did happen.
Do you think so? No, it must have been
that Benedictine we had last night.
No, Doreen, l'm sure
he's lying there still next to me.
Go on, no. Don't be so soft.
- Well, have a look and see.
- No, you.
- No, you.
- No, you.
lt's your business.
Go on, Mill, have a look.
All right, l will, then.
(Screams) You're quite right, dear,
it was a dream!
Oh, l hope so!
Oh, all right, dear.
Put on your bathing costume
and run down to the sea.
Arthur? Arthur?
Give me a hand with the kiddies
while l get into my beach pyjamas,
will you?
- Hello, where's he gone?
- ''l've gone to breakfast at the McCarter.
''lf not there,
will be at the bandstand.
''lf not there, will be on the pier.
''After there,
l will be in the Queen's Arms.''
Oh, just like him. You'll have to
give me a hand to pack all this up.
Come on, now, hurry up!
Oh, that was good!
Five more minutes,
then l'll see if l can get a room.
- l'm going in. Are you coming?
- No.
- How was that, Cath?
- Marvellous!
Come on, now let's see you do it.
Come on, Cath.
What's the matter?
What are you afraid of?
- l never knew you were such a coward.
- Yes, Geoff, l'm a coward.
l'm going in again. Come in when
you feel better. Just come in down the steps.
- What's the matter now?
- Nothing.
Just leave me alone, Geoff.
You don't seem to enjoy anything.
l tried to make the holiday decent.
Not my fault we had to sleep on the beach.
- l know it wasn't.
- What is it, then? Or don't you know?
Women are all the same.
They don't know what they want.
No, nothing's the matter,
really, l'm all right.
OK, you stay here and rest
and l'll go and fix up the hotel.
- l'll meet you at that same place on the beach.
- All right.
- Mummy, where's Dad?
- l don't know, dear.
Hector, 'ere, go and have a look
if he's in there.
Come on, jump.
Mummy, where's Dad?
Mum! Mum, where's Dad?
Mum, where's Dad?
Mummy, what's happening in there?
- Mum, l'm going in there!
- You're not going in that nasty place.
(Man) That's all, ladies.
Mind where you put your feet -
Hercules has hopped it!
Ah, gentlemen, just in time.
Only two more seats left, that's all.
Come along, they're happy, they're slappy,
they're alive. Come along, come along!
This way to the Follies,
only a few seats left!
(Chorus) The same old bands
The same old bands
play the same old
Pom-tiddly-om, pom-pom
lt's the same old bathers
bobbing up and down
The same old games
there used to be
Lovely girls in pretty scores
You will see them by the shores
lt's the same old seaside shore
beside the sea, hey!
- Where are you going, Charlie?
- Church, to pray for rain.
Ladies and gentlemen,
one or two nursery rhymes up to date.
Mary had a little lamb,
she placed it on the shelf,
and every time he wagged his tail
he slapped his little self!
Here lies the body of Martha Gurney,
she fell off the bus
and broke her journey.
- Got the time, mate?
- Ten past twelve.
- Blimey, they're open!
- Simple Simon met a pieman
sitting on the grass,
said Simple Simon to the...
He's gone to have a bev.
How did you enjoy it? Not bad, eh?
lf l told you, you'd sue me for libel!
- Hello, how are you?
- We've been looking for you everywhere.
l'm going for a quick one.
See you on the beach later.
Oh, Art!
- Let me see, Marina!
- Let me see, Hector!
Hector, come out of that thing!
Take her down. Showing her that!
You naughty boy!
l've been staying in Paris with a friend,
Count Ponchay. He's a Hungarian.
- lsn't he something to do with films?
- No, no, no, no.
(Giggles) Doreen, look!
lt's that Miss Mayfair again.
Ooh, isn't she awful?
She ought to be ashamed of herself.
(People shouting)
They're coming!
(Cheering)
( Band playing national anthem)
(Sergeant shouts orders)
Stephen, l can't see!
Hold me up!
lsn't it wonderful?
(Sergeant shouts orders)
Oh, Stephen, Stephen!
Ann! Ann!
Ann!
Cath, l've fixed it,
l've booked a room!
- Where?
- Where do you think? The Grand.
- That's fine.
- Some people are moving out tonight.
We can't have the room till then,
but it's absolutely fixed.
Phew!
l could do with a choc-ice.
- Still fond of me?
- Mm-hm.
- Happy now?
- Yes.
- Got a match, darling?
- No.
- Well, how did you light yours?
- l had one left.
Of course, the lighter. l forgot.
That's a funny thing to forget.
- You didn't want me to use it.
- Why shouldn't l?
That's what l should like to know.
How many times have you met that man?
- Don't be silly.
- l'm sorry, but...
You've broken your promise anyhow.
l said this would spoil the holiday
and now it has!
Geoff!
Listen, Geoff...
(Thunder)
Come on.
Standing room...
No, madam, standing room only!
What a comedian,
what a show, what weather!
Oh, no seats, no! Standing room only!
Two shillings a time. Come along now...
( Band playing waltz)
Well, here's to the actor's best friend,
the English climate!
Hear, hear!
- How much is that, Joe?
- 1 5 shillings, sir.
l left my money in the box office.
l'll get it.
Bring some back for us.
We're all broke, aren't we?
Set 'em up again, Joe.
l shan't be long.
- OK, sir.
- Cheerio.
- Are you having plaice or haddock?
- l want a ginger pop!
We only serve dinner, sir.
We had ours at one o'clock.
What's the idea?
We'll order in a minute, sir,
if you don't mind.
You're going to be rushed.
l could see it in his eye.
Did you not ask me
to take you to a show?
- Not a bathing parade.
- lt's entertainment, ain't it?
Whenever you want a night out,
all you think about is the Empire.
- l want a ginger pop!
- Manners, Ken.
l'll give you a smack in the ear hole.
- The contestants' room, please?
- Through there to the left.
- ls my room ready for me?
- Name, sir?
- Smith.
- Smith?
- l booked it this morning.
- Ah, yes. Mr and Mrs Smith.
- Take Mr and Mrs Smith to 31 9.
- Very good, sir.
This way, please.
l wonder whether...
There you are, my dear.
- Will that be all, sir?
- Yes, thank you.
Oh.
Thank you, sir.
- This is marvellous, isn't it, Cath?
- Mm-hm.
lt's worth the extra six shillings, isn't it?
''Grand Hotel, Bexborough.''
Could write home on that.
Oh, l'm supposed to be camping.
- l say, Cath, come and look at this.
- Just a minute.
This must be without breakfast.
We're just over the winter garden.
They're dancing down there.
What's the matter?
You look as though
you've seen a ghost.
Geoff, let's go down and dance, shall we?
All right.
We can have a look at the competition.
We can leave the unpacking till later.
- Oh, Geoff, l've forgotten my bag.
- l'll get it.
No, no, you don't know where it is.
You go and get a table.
Have you a London directory?
Hello? Trunks?
- Budga-budga, you can't do it!
- Budga-budga!
Budga-budga-budga-budga! (Laughs)
- Come on, now do it again.
- Budga-budga-budga!
Your call, madam. Box seven.
You're through!
(Telephone ringing)
(Catharine) Hello?
Hello?
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello, exchange, could you try again?
lt rang, then there was silence.
l cannot connect you.
The subscriber has removed the receiver.
Well, couldn't you...
No.
No, it's all right. Thank you.
- There was no answer, was there?
- No.
(Door opens)
l'm sorry, Geoff.
Cath.
What's this note? What does it mean?
- ''lt's all a mistake.''
- What l say, Geoff.
- But what have l done to upset you?
- Nothing.
lt's only that l realised the whole things'
a mistake. We ought never to have come.
- We don't love each other.
- How can you say that?
Can't you see you're deceiving yourself?
You've been deceiving yourself all along.
We've never been in love.
We were lonely and we liked each other.
- What have l done?
- lt's not your fault.
- l'm the wrong person for you.
- But you're not, Cath.
l shall never want anyone else...
Oh, Geoff, it's no good. Let me go.
So, you've been lying to me? You never
cared, you've just been leading me on!
Geoff, l thought it was real.
l know it isn't now, that's all.
You found it out very suddenly!
l know what the trouble is.
lt's that fellow at the hospital.
- l suppose you're going to him now.
- Yes, Geoff, l am.
- Why?
- l don't know, l can't explain,
but l feel something terrible
is going to happen to him.
- lf l don't go, it'll be too late.
- Nonsense! That's just an excuse.
Bye, Geoff.
- You mean you're not in love with him?
- l've got to go. Let me get by.
- Let me go.
- To somebody else?
l'd be a fine fellow!
What do you think l am?
l brought you away on this weekend,
l saved for months.
l've done my best for you.
You shan't let me down now!
- Geoff, you're mad!
- You think you can play me up?
Going off with the first chap
you take a fancy to! You stay here with me!
(Gasps)
l'm sorry, Cath.
lt's nothing. lt's not your fault.
l'm sorry, l've just found
l haven't any money.
- l'm terribly sorry.
- Yes, well, l don't drive for my health!
Please, sir,
l want to hire a car to London.
l haven't any money,
that's why l couldn't go by train.
l could leave my watch,
it's a very good one.
Well... Jack, the young lady
wants to go to London.
- The Morris out?
- Yeah.
Sorry, miss, we can't help.
- Gentleman here going to London.
- Why don't you ask him?
Er, excuse me.
l understand you're going to London.
- You want a lift, do you?
- lf you possibly manage it.
- OK, hop in.
- Thank you.
- This is what l call a service station.
- Good night, sir.
Good evening.
( Band playing lively tune)
l'm going to turn it up.
lt's too hot for dancing.
May l have the pleasure of this dance?
l don't know, l'm sure.
l don't know, l'm sure.
(Band stops, scattered applause)
- Would you like a drink?
- l don't think l will, thank you.
l think l really ought to be getting back now.
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.
Nice goings-on! What will the kids think?
Their ma dancing
with a bloomin' college boy!
l don't know and l don't care!
- He's gone. Scarpered with every bean.
- What's that?
- He's gone.
- You're kidding.
- l'm not. He left for London in his car.
- What shall we do?
Send for the police
so they can catch him on the road.
- That's for the idea.
- Now for the telephone.
l may just be making a fool of myself.
l mean, suppose nothing is wrong,
what will he think of me
arriving so late at night?
lf l were in his shoes,
l shouldn't waste my time thinking.
Women are all the same.
They get what they can and then leave you.
They pretend they love you,
then let you down.
Here, let's get it straight.
Ooh, you look lovely, you're sure to win it.
They're all the same,
the whole blasted lot of them!
(Screams)
(Laughs)
- l'll kill you, l'll kill you!
- All right, all right. l'll fix it.
(Tyres squeal)
Now what's wrong?
- What's the matter?
- l don't know.
- Are you the owner of this car?
- Yes.
l've reason to believe you're in possession
of stolen property.
l must ask you both to accompany me
to the station.
- Very well.
- l'll get in and show you the way.
Thank you.
lt'll soon be me.
Fix this for me, quick. Oh, hurry, hurry!
Can't your wife
wear dresses that fit properly?
Miss Dulwich.
Miss Clacton.
Hurry!
Oh, thank you. Thanks awfully.
(Announcer) Miss lslington!
(Applause)
Oh, you poor thing.
What's the matter? Why don't you go?
l am going in a minute.
l just saw that letter.
- Don't worry about her.
- (Announcer) Miss Mayfair!
Miss Fulham!
Miss Fulham!
Go on. Why don't you go?
Miss Fulham!
Why don't you go?
You'll miss your turn.
Because l don't want to.
Miss Leeds!
(Applause)
You are a silly fool.
You take my advice, it isn't worth it.
Love's silly, really.
l've been through it, so l know.
Love's nothing.
What do you mean,
you've been through it?
l thought someone was in love with me
until l found out he wasn't.
Just like you.
lt's decent of you to trouble about me,
but it can't do any good.
l can give you some advice.
l've been through it all,
so l know what it's all like.
Have you really?
Well, l...
When my fianc left me,
l said, ''l don't love him.''
l said, ''l don't love him, l never met him,
and l don't love him, so there!''
And l'm absolutely sure now
that l don't love him.
At least, l did love him a little bit.
He was ever such a nice boy really.
(Sobs)
The horrible beast!
We're conducting an inquiry
into a report about an amount of money
alleged to have been stolen from
the box office of the...Bexborough Follies
between 7:00 and 8:30 this evening.
- Would you like a cup of tea, miss?
- No, thanks.
Now, look here, just because l haven't got
my driving licence with me
- doesn't make me the man you're after.
- Did l say it did?
Tell me where you were
between the hours stated.
l told you, l was taking the wife
for a little run in the country.
l'm not his wife!
l've never seen this man before!
- You'll get your turn.
- Look, l've got to get to London.
All right, all right, it won't run away.
Let's have those cases over here.
- ls this your case?
- l never saw it before in my life.
Shut that door, Charlie.
Well, let's have a look inside.
Funny place to keep your loose change.
l wasn't the only person inside that car,
you know.
Oh, l see.
lt's your wife's case?
- l tell you, l'm not his wife. Look, l've got to...
- As a matter of fact, she isn't my wife.
l only said that
to keep her out of trouble.
l didn't know about this then.
l picked her up on the front, Bexborough.
- That true?
- Well, yes, but...
Oh. Let's have your story, then.
- lt's like this...
- Name first.
Catharine Lawrence.
- Do you live in Bexborough?
- No. l've been staying at the Grand.
Nice place, the Grand.
l had a case there once.
Had his pockets picked.
Give me the Grand, Bexborough.
- What's the matter?
- They won't know me under that name.
- You've two names, have you?
- No, but l've been staying there with a friend.
- Let's have his name, then.
- Smith.
Didn't show much imagination, did he?
Jim, get a glass of water.
- Everybody lets you down, that's what l think.
- (Sobbing)
They're not worth it, not one of them.
No, they're not.
(Telephone rings)
- Hello?
- Ah. Were you staying there
with a young lady by the name
of Catharine Lawrence?
- Who's speaking, please?
- lt's the Sussex County Police.
- Sussex County Police?
- Did you stay there as Mr and Mrs Smith,
with a young lady by the name
of Catharine Lawrence?
Sure? l see.
All right. Thank you.
He says he doesn't know anything about you.
- Let me speak to him!
- No, no, no.
l've got to get to London! Something terrible
is going to happen to someone l know.
You don't understand. l telephoned
him and the receiver was off.
lf you don't think l'm telling the truth,
please ring Tulse Hill 3980.
Oh, you must believe me!
His name's Stephen Howard.
l met him at the hospital where l work.
l'm a nurse.
His wife died yesterday
and l had to break the news to him.
Oh, please, won't you just try?
Tulse Hill 3980.
You see, he was desperate,
l shouldn't have left him.
lf anything happens to him now,
you'll be responsible!
You'll be to blame for not letting me go!
(Sobs) You'll have murdered him!
She's telling the truth.
l took the money. l've every right.
l'm the manager.
l'm sending them their share by cheque.
Let her go. She knows
nothing whatever about it.
Mm, l see.
Jim!
Never mind. Open it up.
Here's the flat.
This door's locked.
- (Banging on door)
- Mr Howard!
(Catharine) Mr Howard!
(She screams)
- (Boys shouting)
- Cut that out!
Come here!
l'm not having no more of that.
l've stood it for ten years
and l'll stand it no longer.
- You can't hit Hector, you can't do that.
- Can't l? l haven't started yet!
Go on. Behave yourselves.
- Have a good time?
- Time of my life!
Me too.
- Clumsy!
- Got everything?
Yes, l've got everything.
Doreen, forgive me for making you
lose the competition.
Of course.
l've got over it absolutely.
- Have you got over your troubles too?
- What?
You know what l mean. Have you?
You bet!
Hello. l thought you were on holiday.
Bank holiday, wasn't it?
Yes. But l've been
and come back again.
- Come back?
- Everybody's coming back.
The holiday's over.