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Barrio Tales (2012)
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(rock music playing) I'M A BIG BAD HAWK I LIKE TO FLY IN THE DARK I'M A BIG BAD HAWK I'M LEAVIN' BUH BUH-BUH BUH BUH-BUH B-B-BIG BAD WOLF JUST ROLLIN' AROUND B-B-BIG BAD WOLF SAYING HI TO THE GROUND (growls) (growls) (growls) DON'T STEP ON THE ROCKS YOU'RE MAKING TOO MUCH NOISE THERE'S MRS. SMITH'S SONS THEY'RE WILD BOYS YOU GONNA COME AROUND HERE YOU BETTER KEEP IT QUIE COME AROUND HERE YOU BETTER STAY SILEN (howling) (hip-hop music playing) COULD YOU WAIT FOR THA MAYBE, PLEASE? WHY, MAN? I'M FUCKIN' BORED. UM, 'CAUSE WE'RE IN MEXICO, AND I DON'T PLAN ON GOING TO JAIL DOWN HERE. DUDE, YOU'RE NO GONNA GO TO JAIL. THERE'S FUCKIN' NOBODY AROUND. ALL RIGHT, WELL, THEN, FINE, GIMME SOME. I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY LET YOU CONVINCE ME TO DRIVE DOWN HERE. DUDE, YOU WANTED CHEAP DRUGS. WELL, HERE WE ARE. WE'RE IN THE CHEAP DRUG CAPITAL OF THE WORLD, MAN. JESUS! SHOULD I? I DON'T KNOW. ROLL IT DOWN. HOLA, AMIGOS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE? JUST WAITING FOR A FRIEND. YOU DON'T LOOK MEXICAN. IS YOUR FRIEND MEXICAN? WELL, WE'VE ACTUALLY NEVER MET HIM OFFICIALLY. HEH. YOU'RE A LITTLE FAR OUT OF YOUR WAY TO SEE A FRIEND YOU NEVER EVEN MET. LISTEN, CREEPY FUCK, UH, WE'RE LOOKING FOR A DUDE NAMED PEDRO. DO YOU KNOW WHO HE IS? PEDRO? YEAH. I KNOW HIM WELL. I WILL TAKE YOU RIGHT TO HIM. UM... O-OKAY. WE'LL SIT HERE AND WAIT FOR PEDRO. HE IS RUNNING LATE. SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS PICKING UP? SOME FUCKIN' ORANGES. WHY DO YOU CARE? SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU'RE PICKING UP PARTY FAVORS FOR YOUR FRIENDS. YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY. (chuckles) I'M NOT THE ONE TRESPASSING TO SMUGGLE DRUGS BACK INTO YOUR COUNTRY. UM, SO WHEN'S PEDRO GETTING HERE? ANYTIME SOON, OR... ALL YOU AMERICANS... IN SUCH A RUSH. YOU DON'T CARE WHO YOU HAVE TO GET THROUGH OR HUR TO GET WHAT YOU WAN WHEN YOU WANT. EVERYTHING IS HANDED TO YOU. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU CRAZY FUCKIN' MEXICAN? I'M TALKING ABOU RICH AMERICAN PUNKS LIKE YOU. YOU KNOW, THERE'S A STORY ABOUT THREE RICH KIDS WHO DECIDED TO DISRESPEC SOMEONE FROM BARRIO, SOMEONE WHO HELPED THEM, SOMEONE INNOCEN WHO NEVER, EVER DID ANYTHING WRONG EXCEPT WORK FOR A LIVING. WELL, THESE BOYS... THEY PAID DEARLY FOR THEIR MISTAKES. (film projector clicking) ("Ave Maria" playing) AVE MARIA (singing in foreign language) (motorcycle approaching) HONEY, I'M HOME! MOM! YOUR BABY'S HOME FROM COLLEGE! DAD! WELL, SO MUCH FOR THE "WELCOME HOME" PARTY. (sighs) NICE. "HEY, TREV, MOM AND I DECIDED TO GO TO CAICOS LAST MINUTE. "THE WEATHER IS STUNNING THIS TIME OF YEAR. "I LEFT YOUR GRADUATION PRESEN IN THE DRAWER. "CONGRATS, KIDDO! DAD. P.S. BE NICE TO THE NEW MAID." (clatter) HOLA. HI. HI. YOU, UH, MUST BE THE NEW MAID. YES. MARIA. I'M SORRY? MARIA. M-MARIA? YES. COOL. YEAH. THE SANDWICHES I TRIED-- IT SEEMS REALLY GOOD. REALLY GOOD. IT WAS GOOD BREAD, DIFFERENT BREAD. I-- (car horn honks) THANK YOU. I'M GONNA JUST... OKAY. I'M GONNA GO THAT WAY, ACTUALLY. ALL RIGHT. (giggles) OKAY. (rock music playing) (breathing heavily) (groaning) (man) DUDE, JUST--DUDE, BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS IN MY WAY... WHAT'S UP, GUYS? AND I ALMOST POOPED IN THE COUGAR. NICE TO SEE YOU. OKAY, HEY, HOW YOU DOING? I GOTTA TAKE A POOP, SO... DUDE. DANNY, WHAT'S UP? GOOD TO SEE YOU. YEAH. WHERE ARE THE, UH, WHERE ARE THE 'RENTS, BRO? THEY ARE CURRENTLY IN TURKS AND CAICOS. OOH. YEAH, CAICOS. CLASSY. WHERE'S THE MONEY? WHAT MONEY? YOUR PARENTS ARE WORTH $4 BILLION. THEY LEFT YOU MONEY. OH! YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THAT MONEY. YEAH, FOLLOW ME. NICE. (Spanish music playing) JEREMIAH WAS A BULLFROG WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? MARIA. (hip-hop music playing) TWO STANDARD CINDERELLAS FOR MNAGE TROIS YOU JEALOUS OF THIS FELLA, NOT AS SUAVE AS MOI THE SLICKES IN THE CHICKEN COOP YOU FI INTO A DIFFERENT GROUP OF BITCHES WHO SHOULD LISTEN TO WHO THE FUCK'S THE SPANISH SOAP STAR IN THE BATHROOM? THAT IS THE NEW MAID-- MARIA. SHE'S PRETTY FUCKIN' HOT, RIGHT? WHAT HAPPENED TO LUPITA? I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW. UH, SHE PROBABLY GOT CAUGH STEALING OR DEPORTED OR FORGO TO SHAVE HER MUSTACHE FOR, LIKE, THE HUNDREDTH TIME. (laughter) (mocking laughter) WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, YOU HAVE A HOT-ASS SERVANT? DIBS. DUDE, I GOT DIBS. YOU OKAY? I REALLY LIKED LUPITA. HELLO. HOORAH. (man) DAMN. I'M JACK. WELCOME TO AMERICA. (sighs) TU HABLO INGLES? POQUITO. BUENO. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS TALKIN' ABOUT? IT'S SPANISH. WHAT? YOU SOUND LIKE A FUCKIN' IDIOT. (scoffs) MARIA, SMOKE-Y EL WEEDO? DICK. SHE'S WORKING, ALL RIGHT? LO SIENTO. I'M SORRY. N-NO PROBLEM. COME ON. WHAT, SHE CAN'T SCRUB THE FLOORS WHILE SHE'S HIGH? (eerie music playing) (Trevor) THERE IT IS. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. I DON'T WANT YOU CUTTING MY SHI WITH, UH, BAKING POWDER BECAUSE I'M NOT TRYING TO GROW MUFFINS OUT OF MY NOSE. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? (quietly) I'M AT THE OFFICE. WOW. HEY, FUCK-FACE... (snaps fingers) $100 A BALL? YEAH. YEAH. I MEAN, UNLESS YOU STILL HAVE SAND IN YOUR PUSS FROM THE LAST TIME I SMOKED YOU. NO, I DON'T HAVE SAND IN MY PUSS. HAVE YOU CHECKED? (bong bubbling) WE'RE ALL CLEAR. YO, ELTON, YOU GONNA PASS THAT? NO. FOR A GUY WHO'S GOT SAND IN HIS PUSS, I'M KINDA KICKIN' YOUR ASS. OKAY, ALL RIGHT. YOU STILL HAVE THE CASH, FUCKER? OKAY, WATCH THIS. MM-HMM. ARE YOU WATCHING? MM-HMM. OOH. YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I LOST MY CONTACT ON-- DID THAT GO IN? I SAW A COLOR DROP. (laughing) I'M JUST NOT SURE IF THAT WENT IN. WHY WOULD I WANT LAUNDRY DETERGENT IN MY COCAINE, BECAUSE... (scoffs) WHAT--WHAT AM I? AM I--AM I TRYING TO CLEAN CLOTHES WITH MY SEPTUM? SO YOU WANT TO STOP BEING A POOR PERSON AND GO FOR $300? FUCK IT. $300 IT IS. COOL. ALL RIGHT, UH... WOW. (Maria) SORRY. BRAVO. WAS THAT FOR REAL? ARE WE COUNTING THAT? YEAH, DUDE, DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT. I THINK SHE KNOWS WHO HER BOSS IS. NO, FUCK THAT. ARE YOU FUCKIN' SERIOUS? YOU JUST STEP IN FRONT OF MY SHOT? I'M SORRY. JUST RELAX. SHUT THE FUCK UP. GODDAMN IT. WELL, THAT SHO JUST COST ME $300. I'M SORRY. HOW ARE YOU GONNA PAY FOR IT? UH, FOOD STAMPS? I DON'T THINK SO. ACTUALLY, I DO HAVE A GOOD IDEA, THOUGH. UM, EL BLOW JOB-O? YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? I THINK THA WOULD MAKE US EVEN. I THINK THAT'S A SWELL IDEA. I THINK WE KNOW YOU THINK THAT, ELTON. YOU GUYS ARE BEING ASSHOLES. AND LOOK AT CHE GUEVARA OVER THERE BEING A REVOLUTIONARY. OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M OVER IT. UM, CONSUELA, CAN YOU JUST GE THE FUCK OUT, PLEASE? MARIA. WHAT DID YOU SAY? JUST GO. WHY ARE YOU FUCKING STARING AT ME? VAMANOS! THAT'S A WORD IN SPANISH, RIGHT? YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU GUYS ARE FUCKIN' DICKS. AND HE GOTTA BE HIS OWN WORST ENEMY ALL THE SAME MARIA, ARE YOU OKAY? GO AWAY. OH, NO, NO, NO, I'M NOT HERE TO FUCK WITH YOU. THAT'S WEIRD. OH. (Trevor) YO, YO, D-MAN! WHAT UP? OH, SUPER CHILL, BRO. YEAH. UH, OKAY, SO, DANNY, I HATE TO INTERRUP THE WHOLE SWAPPING OF ENCHILADA RECIPES, BUT I REALLY NEED YOUR INPU ON SOMETHING, A LITTLE... (sniffing) YOU KNOW? A LITTLE SOMETHIN'. LIKE WHAT? (sniffing) A LITTLE SOMETHIN', SOMETHIN'. OH, OKAY. OH... NO? YEAH, OKAY, I'LL JUST BE THINKING ABOUT YOU NAKED. (Awesome New Republic's "Deep Love" playing) I CAN'T WAI TO GET YOU OFF TONIGH I'LL SHIFT SHAPE AND MAKE YOU SOFT TONIGH WE CAN'T FAKE I OOH, WE CAN MAKE I DEEP LOVE OOH OOH DEEP LOVE OOH OOH I CAN'T HIDE WHEN YOU GO WALKING BY OH OH OH OH MAKE MY DAY AND TAKE ME HOME TONIGH BUT I DON'T MIND LET'S TAKE THE TIME FOR DEEP LOVE OOH OOH (loud bang) WHERE DID YOU GET THIS SHIT? UH, SOME CELEBRITY DEALER NAMED JAVI. HE ONLY SELLS TO CELEBRITIES AND ARTISTS AND STUFF. WELL, JAVI'S STUFF TASTES LIKE SHIT. OH. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, WAIT... WOW, YOU'VE TASTED SHIT. LISTEN. I WANT EVERYBODY TO LISTEN. (all) OH! WHOA, HEY, HEY, HEY. WHOA. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, I FUCKIN'--I GOT IT. (all laughing) ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, I-I WANT TO MAKE A SPEECH REAL QUICK... SHH! SO IF EVERYBODY COULD GIVE ME A COUPLE SECONDS, THAT'D BE FANTASTIC. TREVOR, LET'S DO IT. JACK, PLEASE. UM... (all laughing) FIRST AND FOREMOST, I-I WOULD LOVE TO TOAST TO MY PARENTS FOR GIVING ME THIS FUCKING AMAZING HOUSE TO USE FOR THE SUMMER. CAN I GET A "FUCK YEAH"? (all) FUCK YEAH! (Trevor) THANK YOU. ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THEM FOR THE, UM, WE COUNTED. WHAT WAS IT, LIKE, 15-- (Elton) 15 Gs. 15 Gs FOR ALL THE, UH... (girl) OH. ENABLING... WHOO! ELTON, I WOULDN'T GE TOO EXCITED. YOU ARE PROBABLY LITERALLY GONNA O.D. TONIGHT. (all laughing) UM, CAN'T--CAN'T FORGET-- I-I GOTTA THANK TURKS AND CAICOS FOR BEING SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. (Danny) IT IS A BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY, YES. (voices overlapping) (Elton) IT REALLY IS. YES. (Jack chuckles) AND LAST, BUT DEFINITELY NOT LEAST, I WANT TO THANK MY PARENTS FOR PURCHASING ME THIS FUCKIN' AMAZINGLY HOT MAID THAT I'M PRETTY SURE I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH FOR THE RES OF THE SUMMER, RIGHT? A FUCKIN' SEX SLAVE, HUH? MARIA, MARIA. YOU FUCKIN' FAT... IT'S A THYROID PROBLEM. MARIA. FIESTA, POR FAVOR, CON ALL OF US. NO, NO, NO, NO... (speaking indistinctly) DANCE. YOU KNOW, LIKE A CUCARACHA OR, UH, WHAT DO THEY--WHAT DO THEY FUCKIN' DO IN MEXICO? I THINK IT'S SOMETHING LIKE... DOO DOO DOO DOO (Elton) DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO (all laughing) YOU CAN DO THA IF YOU WANT. (Danny) NO, NO, NO... (speaking Spanish) SPEAK AMERICAN. FUCK MEXICAN LANGUAGE. I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT. WHY ARE YOU GUYS TALKING TO THE HELP? SHUT UP. SHE'S FUCKIN' HOT. BUT WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WHAT IS SHE HIDING UNDER ALL OF THAT? HEY, I'M FUCKING HUNGRY. TELL HER TO MAKE SOME SANDWICHES. MARIA? MARIA, OVER HERE. DO YOU HAVE, LIKE, A SWIMMING SUIT, A BIKINI OR SOMETHING? BECAUSE... UN BIKINI? YOU COULD BORROW MINE IF YOU NEED TO. (girl) TELL HER TO GO IN HER BRA. AH! (Jack) NUDE. (all) YEAH! JACK, I'M GONNA BE HONES WITH YOU REAL QUICK. I-I THINK SHE WANTS TO GO IN THE POOL. I JUST DON'T KNOW IF SHE'S READY FOR THAT... (laughter) SO YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TELL HER. WHOO-HOO! YES. I THINK TREVOR'S RIGHT. SORRY, UM, DO YOU MIND PICKING UP SOME OF THE, UH-- (all) OH! (Trevor) DO IT! JUST DO IT, BABY! (Elton) OH, HO HO! DO IT! (cheering) (crunch) (girl screams) OH, MY GOD, SHE HIT HER HEAD! (cell phone ringing) Hi, you've reached Karen McDonaugh. Please leave a message after the tone. Thank you. (cell phone beeps) Uh, hi, mom, it's Trevor. Uh, I was just calling to see how you were doing. Um, I really need to talk to you. I, uh... (breathing hard) I think I really fucked up this time. And, uh, so I really need you to come home, please. Please. ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE TO BURY THE BODY. NO, NO, YOU HAVE TO FUCKIN' BURY THE BODY. WHY DO I HAVE TO BURY THE BODY? BECAUSE YOU FUCKIN' KILLED HER. (whimpering) MY MOM'S GONNA BE SO FUCKING MAD AT ME. SHUT THE FUCK UP, ELTON. ALL RIGHT, I'LL BURY THE FUCKIN' BODY. ELTON, LET'S GO. (retching) (knock on door) UM, JACK HARVEY FOR WILLIAM WATKINS. HAVE A SEAT AND I'LL LET HIM KNOW YOU'RE HERE. (typing) (woman speaking Spanish, voice echoing) (mouthing words) 'SUP? (groans) (high-pitched whine) (whimpering) (panting) (William) LOOK, BARRY, ARE YOU LISTENING? THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE GETTING INTO THAT DEAL AT THAT PRICE. I'M TELLING YA, LAND IN FUCKIN' MEXICO IS TOO FUCKIN' CHEAP TO GO UP FROM WHERE WE ARE. LOOK, JUST TELL HIM I'M NOT SPENDING... (voice fades out) (high-pitched whine) WELL, YOUNG MR. HARVEY. (woman speaking Spanish, voice echoing) (Trevor grunting and moaning) (high-pitched whine) (groaning) FUCK! (screaming) (faint heartbeat) (panting) (high-pitched whine) (sobbing) READY TO GIVE THE REAL WORLD A SHOT, HUH? LOOKING FOR A JOB? YES, SIR, MR. WATKINS. YOUR BALLS HAVE DROPPED. YOU CAN CALL ME WILL NOW. OKAY, WILL. WELL, AS YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN WORKING... (clears throat) (loud rumbling) WORKING AT MY FATHER'S FIRM FOR, UM... (coughs) YOU OKAY? YOU WANT SOME WATER? (groaning) (faint heartbeat) (shrieking) (loud bang) (coughing) (gurgling, choking) WHAT THE FUCK? (high-pitched whine) (sobbing) (screaming) (low-pitched voice) MARIA. MARIA. MARIA. (panting and coughing) (woman speaking indistinctly) OH, GOD. TREVOR? (crying) (Danny speaking Spanish, voice echoing) (typing) WHAT THE FUCK? THAT IS-- THAT IS SUCH FUCKIN' BULLSHIT, MAN. NO. NO WAY. OKAY, BLEEDING FROM THE EARS AND EYES TURNING WHITE? THAT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. ABSOLUTELY NOT. FALSE. THIS GUY MIGHT ACTUALLY SMOKE MORE WEED THAN WE DO. OKAY, OKAY, TOUGH CROWD. DIDN'T REALIZE YOU GUYS WERE SO DOWN. (chuckles) ALL RIGHT, MAN. YOU KNOW WHAT? MY DAD HAS A WHOLE CUPBOARD FULL OF PILLS WE CAN JUST VANDALIZE IF WE WANT TO. LET'S JUS GET OUTTA HERE. (speaking indistinctly) YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO YOUR HOMBRE HERE. YEAH, WELL, YOU SHOULD MIND YOUR OWN FUCKIN' BUSINESS. HOW ABOUT THAT? (whispering) LET'S JUST GET OUTTA HERE. OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. HEY, YOU GUYS HUNGRY? UM, NO, THANK YOU. I HAD SOME TACOS ON THE WAY DOWN ALREADY, SO... OH, YEAH? WHERE FROM? SOME FUCKIN' TRUCK. WHY DO YOU CARE? I DON'T KNOW. I USED TO HAVE A FRIEND IN THE TACO BUSINESS. HE MADE THE BEST TACOS NORTH OF BARRIO. YEAH, WELL, WHO DOESN'T MAKE TACOS IN THIS FUCKIN' TOWN? (laughs) THAT IS VERY FUNNY. YOU DON'T MIND IF I EAT, DO YOU? GO AHEAD. SURE. MMM. FRESH TACOS. SO GOOD. YOU KNOW, MY FRIEND TIO WHO USED TO MAKE THE TACOS, HE HAD THE BEST SEASONING. JUST MUY PERFECTO. THEY SAY IT WAS THE, UH, SECRET INGREDIENT. (mariachi music playing) (film projector clicking) TIO'S TACOS IS NOW OPEN FOR LUNCH. (boy) GUYS. GUYS. GUYS, WAIT UP FOR ME, MAN. I'M TRYING TO READ YOU THIS STORY. WE CAN HEAR YOU FROM HERE, OGGY. AND I DON'T NEED YOU SPITTIN' ON ME, MAN. OKAY. OKAY, LISTEN, GUYS, THIS IS IMPORTANT. "FOUR TEENAGERS HAVE GONE MISSING IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS. "EVIDENCE SUGGESTS THA THE COUNTY SHERRIFF'S DEPARTMEN "SUGGESTS THAT THESE CASES ARE ALL PART OF AND CONNECTED TO A SERIAL KIDNAPPING." DUDE, WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS READING DEPRESSING SHIT LIKE THIS? I MEAN, CAN'T YOU JUST ENJOY THE SUMMER LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING? OH, OKAY. YOU WANT ME TO LIVE LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING? OKAY, SO BASICALLY WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS FOR ME TO LIVE MY LIFE, YOU KNOW, GO TO THE BEACH, HAVE A GOOD TIME, PUT ON SOME SUNSCREEN, BUILD A SLIP 'N SLIDE, YOU KNOW, HAVE THE BEST SUMMER OF MY LIFE AND PRETEND LIKE NOTHING-- NOTHING'S GOING ON. OH, AND IF I GET KIDNAPPED, YEAH, THAT'S JUST, LIKE, SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN, 'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY THE WORLD WORKS, RIGHT? IF YOU GOT KIDNAPPED, THE NAPPER WOULD BE SO BORED AND TIRED AND ANNOYED WITH YOU THAT HE'D HAVE YOU BACK BEFORE DINNER. HEY, UNCLE TIO, WHAT'S HAPPENING, MAN? (Tio) HEY, TYRONE. HOW ARE YOU, BRO? I'M GOOD. HOW YOU DOING? GOOD, MAN. YOU READY FOR ROUND TWO? OH, YOUR TACOS ARE KILLER, BRO. ALL RIGHT. WHAT DO YOU WANT? TRES ASADA. THREE ASADA. COMING RIGHT UP. NICE. YOU'RE GONNA LIKE THESE ONES. OH, YEAH? EXTRA SPECIAL JUST FOR YOU. THAT SO? ON THE HOUSE, BROTHER. OH. ON THE HOUSE? ON THE HOUSE. RALE, MAN. THANKS, BROTHER. NOW GO FIX THOSE POTHOLES FOR ME. ALWAYS, MAN. TAKE CARE, HUH? ME AND MY HOMEYS WERE IN THE MGM GRAND, AND TONY HAWK CAME BY-- YO, BABY, YOU LIKE TACOS? (woman) FUCK YOU. (laughs) (chuckles) YOU LIKE TACOS. TRUE. (Tio) WHAT'S UP, GUYS? HEY, TIO. WHAT'S UP, MAN? WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM? OGGY'S SCARED HE'S GONNA GET KIDNAPPED. LIKE ANYONE EVEN WANTS HIM. YOU KIDS ARE FUNNY. SO WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? UM, I'LL TAKE A NUMBER ONE, NO BEANS, NO RICE, JUST THE GUACAMOLE. OKAY. AND, CHAD, I ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. TWO TACOS, CARNE ASADA, EXTRA MEAT. YOU KNOW IT. ALL RIGHT. WHAT ABOUT YOU, OGGY? OH, I'M NOT-- I'M NOT HUNGRY. WHAT? YOU TELLING ME YOU DON'T WANT MY TACOS? WELL, I-I'M SORRY, TIO. IT'S JUST-- I'M ON A MISSION. PLANNING ON STOPPING THE KIDNAPPINGS? WELL--WELL, AT LEAST TRY. I MEAN--I MEAN, THE COPS AREN'T DOING ANYTHING. WELL, LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED MY HELP. OKAY? LET ME GE THOSE TACOS FOR YOU. DON'T FORGE THE GUACAMOLE. I WILL NOT FORGE THE GUACAMOLE. IT'S ALREADY READY TO GO. NICE DAY TODAY, HUH? YEAH. I ALWAYS SAY IT'S A GREAT DAY FOR TACOS. DEFINITELY. CHEERS. ALL RIGHT. BYE, TIO. (Chad) ARE YOU GOING TO STOP EATING EVERY TIME SOMETHING BAD LIKE THIS HAPPENS. LIKE THE TIME YOU HEARD ABOU CHELSEA'S OLDER BROTHER ELTON... OH. DYING IN THE BATHROOM? YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA GO BLIND FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS. HEY. HEY, THAT'S A LEGITIMATE FEAR, OKAY? YOU DON'T PLAY AROUND WITH THAT. YOU DON'T TOUCH THAT, OKAY? HE HAD 20/20 VISION BEFORE THAT, AND THEN SUDDENLY HE COULDN'T SEE, OKAY? ALL RIGHT, OGGY. FOR SURE. (Tio) HEY, GUYS. HEY. HOW DO YOU LIKE MY TACOS TODAY? A LITTLE SPICIER. NEW RECIPE? I ADDED A LITTLE SOMETHING EXTRA. OKAY. I'LL TELL YOU MY SECRE IF YOU HELP ME PREPARE FOR TOMORROW'S LUNCH. WHY? WHERE'S HECTOR? HECTOR... OH, HECTOR. HE WENT BACK TO BARRIO. SO ANY TAKERS? I GOT SOCCER TONIGHT, MAN. MY MOM'S MAKING ME DINNER BEFORE SHE LEAVES TOWN TOMORROW. WELL, TIO, I-I CAN HELP YOU. I MEAN, I'M FREE, SO... GREAT. ON ONE CONDITION. YEAH. WHAT? YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE MY SECRET, INCLUDING THESE TWO. COME ON. COME ON, TIO. ALL RIGHT, YOU GOT A DEAL. ALL RIGHT? DEAL. THANK YOU. SEE YOU SOON, OKAY? ALL RIGHT, BYE, TIO. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. BYE, TIO. BYE. HEY, DUDE, HAVE YOU SEEN OGGY? I DON'T KNOW. HE'S YOUR FRIEND. I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HIM SINCE LAST NIGHT. HE PROBABLY GOT HIS PENIS STUCK IN AN ANTHILL AGAIN. THAT'S RIDICULOUS. YEAH, SO CAN WE GE SOMETHING TO EAT? I'VE GOT THE MUNCHIES. THANK YOU. WHO'S THE FREAK SHOW? THAT'S MY BROTHER LES. HE'S STAYING WITH ME WHILE MY MOM'S AWAY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM? I HAVE NO IDEA. (metal clanking) (girl) TIO! (knocking on door) TIO! TIO! HEY, KIDS, WHAT'S UP? S-SORRY, TIO. UM, WE JUS THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE HAD SOME MORE TACOS FOR US. UH, YOU OKAY? YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, I'M FINE. I'M FINE. JUST, UH, WORKIN' HARD, YOU KNOW? AREN'T YOU CLOSED? YEAH, YEAH, I'M CLOSED, BUT I'M JUST FINISHING UP SOME THINGS. YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING READY TO GO. I'M TIRED. I'M REAL TIRED. OKAY? SEE YOU GUYS. UH... WHAT ABOUT THE TACOS? YEAH, I'LL GET 'EM FOR YOU. OH, HEY, TIO, UH, HAVE YOU SEEN OGGY? UH, YEAH, LAST TIME I SAW HIM, HE WAS WITH, UH, YOU GUYS HAVING LUNCH. DIDN'T HE HELP YOU WITH THE NEW RECIPE LAST NIGHT? YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, I-I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE THEN. OH, OKAY. MM-HMM. ALL RIGHT. SEE YOU LATER. YOU GUYS TAKE CARE. (girl whispering) THAT WAS WEIRD. I SAW BLOOD ON HIS SHOES. CHAD, HE'S A CHEF. BUT IT LOOKED NEW. WHERE'S YOUR SKATEBOARD? OH, SHIT. BE RIGHT BACK. (crunching, squishing sounds) (sounds stop) (metal clanking) (Tio sighs) TIO? YEAH. HELLO, CHAD. WELL, HEY, TIO. MY SKATEBOARD? (eerie music playing) THANKS. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. OKAY, DUDE, THERE'S JUST NO WAY YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THIS. I SWEAR TO GOOD, MIMS. CHAD, ARE YOU SURE? YES, I-I SAW HIS GLASSES WITH A CRACK RIGHT DOWN THE FRAME. OKAY, CHAD, BUT IT'S TIO. I MEAN, HOW CAN WE ACCUSE UNCLE TIO OF BEING THE KIDNAPPER? KIDNAPPER? HE'S A FUCKING MURDERER. I-I THINK I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HECTOR. YEAH, ME, TOO. HE MOVED BACK TO BARRIO. NO, MIMS, HE GOT HACKED UP INTO LITTLE PIECES BY UNCLE TIO. (punk rock music playing) (Mimi) LES! LES! LES! (music stops) LES! WHAT THE FUCK, YO?! DON'T TURN THAT SHIT OFF! LES, IT'S IMPORTANT. OKAY, I TOLD YOU NOT TO BOTHER ME WHEN I'M WORKING ON MY WHIP, MEEM. OKAY, THAT'S-- THAT'S SACRED TIME. OKAY, LES, HAVE YOU SEEN OGGY BY ANY CHANCE? THE LITTLE FREAK WITH THE GLASSES? YES. THAT WEARS THE HIGH-UP BACKPACK AND THE MAD SCIENTIST HAIRCUT? YES. THE TYPE OF DUDE WHO'S GONNA SHOOT UP A SCHOOL IN THREE TO FIVE YEARS? YES. NO, I DON'T THINK I'VE SEEN HIM. (scoffs) LES, ARE YOU SURE? I'M AS SURE AS THIS NORTH VALLEY HIGH C.T.F. CHAMPIONSHIP RING, SO, YEAH, I'M PRETTY FUCKIN' SURE. OH, DID YOU GRAB ME SOME OF THOSE TACOS? (Chad) NO. TIO WAS TOO BUSY HACKING UP OGGY. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS LITTLE SHIT TALKING ABOUT? CHAD SWEARS HE SAW OGGY'S GLASSES BLOODY AND BROKEN IN TIO'S TRUCK. YEAH, RIGHT, OKAY, UNCLE TIO-- UNCLE TIO WOULDN'T HURT A FLY. HE'S LIKE THE TOWN SAINT, OKAY? HE MIGHT AS WELL BE MY REAL UNCLE. NO, LES, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH TIO, AND IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH ALL THOSE KIDS THAT ARE DISAPPEARING. NO, NO, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH UNCLE TIO, OKAY? THE ONLY THING THAT'S WRONG WITH UNCLE TIO-- HE'S A KIND-HEARTED MEXICAN MAN WHO'S BEEN SERVING THIS COMMUNITY FOR MANY YEARS, OKAY? JAVI! HEY. WHAT'S UP, BROTHER? WHAT--LISTEN, NOT NOW, LES. PLEASE. ENOUGH OF THE SANDBOX CONSPIRACY THEORIES, OKAY? SCOOT YOUR BOOT. LES! SCOOT YOUR BOOT! (scoffs) YOUR SISTER, DUDE. YOU GOT WHAT I NEED? YOU MEAN A HIT? I FUCKIN' NEED MORE THAN A HIT. LET'S DO IT. (speaking indistinctly) DON'T TOUCH IT. DON'T FUCKIN' TOUCH IT. CHILLY. (mariachi music playing) (cat mewling) (loud thud, cat shrieks) GO AWAY, YOU STUPID CAT. (hip-hop music playing faintly) (coughing) ARE YOU SURE THIS SHI ISN'T LACED, MAN? IT'S MAKING ME FEEL KINDA FUNKY. UH, NO, HOMEY. I GOT IT FROM SOME CRACKHEAD FROM EL BARRIO. I TOLD SOME KIDS THAT I GOT I FROM SOME CELEB DEALER, SO I CHARGED THEM, LIKE, TWICE THE PRICE. (laughing) YOU'RE A BADASS MOTHERFUCKER, JAVI. WHO THE FUCK IS THA BACK THERE, DUDE? DUDE, RELAX. THAT'S THAT TACO GUY. OH, IT'S UNCLE TIO. WHAT A WEIRD DUDE. YOU BIT YOUR FUCKIN' TONGUE WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT UNCLE TIO, OKAY? HE'S A GOOD MAN. JEEZ, MAN, TAKE IT EASY. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M FUCKIN' SICK OF PEOPLE PREJUDGING UNCLE TIO BEFORE THEY GIVE HIM A SHOT, OKAY? HE'S GOT A BIG HEART AND MAKES A MEAN MOTHERFUCKIN' TACO. LES, I DIDN' MEAN IT LIKE THAT. YEAH, WELL, IT HURT MY FEELINGS. I WONDER WHAT HE'S DOING OU SO FUCKIN' LATE AT NIGHT, MAN. MAYBE HE'S OPEN LATE NIGHTS. WHOA, REALLY? YOU THINK SO? OH, BUT IT'S LIKE FUCKIN' 3:45 IN THE MORNING. THAT--THAT'S TOO LATE. THAT--THAT'S WEIRD. SO GO FIND OUT. AND BRING US BACK SOME TACOS. YOU THINK SO? YOU THINK HE WOULD GIVE US SOME? YEAH. YEAH. TACOS WOULD BE GOOD. SO I'M GONNA DO IT. YEAH. (voice squeaking) HERE, YOU TAKE THAT. (coughs) JUST DON'T--DON' SMOKE THE REST OF THAT, OKAY? NO, NO. DON'T FUCKIN' SMOKE MY SHIT. HEY, BRING BACK SOME H-O-T SAUCE. PUTO. TIO! TIO? (knocking on door) TIO, DUDE, YOU-- YOU OKAY? FUCK. I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU, TIO! FUCK! (cat mews) (vomits) FUCK, MAN. WHAT THE... (whispering) TIO'S TACOS ARE PEOPLE. (normal voice) TIO'S TACOS ARE PEOPLE. TIO'S TACOS ARE FUCKING PEOPLE! (Les yelps) (Javi) LES? LES? (sputtering) (chuckles) WHO YOU TRYIN' TO GET CRAZY WITH, ESE? DON'T YOU KNOW I'M LOCO? (laughing) (loud crash) (Javi) LES? (hip-hop music playing faintly) (whimpering and muttering) (grunts) (loud crack) (clock ticking, echoing) (car approaching) (horn honking, loud bang) (panting) (screams) LES! LES, IT'S HIM. LES, OPEN THE DOOR, PLEASE! (crying) "MIMI, I HOPE YOU'VE ENJOYED YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS "FOR THE LAST FEW YEARS. "YOUR BROTHER HELPED ME MAKE THIS FOR YOU. UNCLE TIO." SHIT, SHIT, WHAT DO I DO? WHERE'S MY BAT? WHERE'S MY BAT? WHERE'S-- AAH! (speaking indistinctly) YOU CAN'T BEAT ME. YOU'RE JUST A STUPID-ASS LITTLE GIRL. I'VE BEEN DOING THIS MY WHOLE CULINARY LIFE. (laughs) AND HUMAN FLESH... (sniffs) OH, IT JUST TASTES BETTER. (whimpers) (laughing) HUNTING PEOPLE IS SO MUCH MORE INTIMATE THAN HUNTING ANIMALS, BECAUSE WE'RE SO MUCH EASIER TO CATCH! (laughing maniacally) (coughing) THIS MOLE SAUCE? IT'S YOUR BROTHER. YOU'RE FUCKIN' CRAZY. FUCK YOU, YOU LITTLE BITCH! YOU LOVE MY TACOS. I'M UNCLE TIO, REMEMBER? (giggles) THAT'S RIGHT. (yelping and groaning) (coughing) DUDE, COME ON, MAN. (man laughing) THAT'S DISGUSTING. MAN UP, KYLE. I THREW UP ON MY SHOES. OH, MY GOD. LOOKS LIKE THOSE TACOS AREN' SITTING THAT WELL, HUH? YOU REALLY ARE A TWISTED OLD FUCK, MAN. DUDE, FUCK THIS. I'M OVER IT. CAN WE LEAVE, PLEASE? STOP BEING A PUSSY, DUDE. YOU ATE SOME FUCKIN' BAD TACOS. BOOHOO. LISTEN, I KNOW YOU'RE FUCKING WITH US, MAN. AND I'M STARTING TO THINK PEDRO'S NOT GONNA SHOW UP. SO WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? RELAX. RELAX. WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. IT TAKES TIME TO GET OUT HERE. NOT ALL OF US HAVE CARS LIKE YOU. SOMETIMES OUR SHI BREAKS DOWN. (coyotes howling) DON'T BE SO JUMPY. THERE ARE A LOT OF WILD ANIMALS AROUND HERE. THIS IS JUST A COYOTE. NOT LIKE IT'S A MONSTER OR ANYTHING. BUT WHO'S TO SAY WHAT A MONSTER IS? MAYBE A MONSTER TO ME IS NOT A MONSTER TO YOU. AND MAYBE A MONSTER TO YOU IS NOT A MONSTER TO ME. OR MAYBE A MONSTER TO ME IS SOMEBODY WHO KILLS HIS OWN KIND. I'M TALKING ABOUT... HUMAN-ON-HUMAN KILLING. HMM. WHAT IF I WERE TO KILL ONE OF YOU, NO EXPLANATION NECESSARY, JUST COLD-BLOODED MURDER? HMM. THEY SAY A MONSTER STILL LURKS IN THIS VERY AREA IN SEARCH FOR VENGEANCE. HE WAS ONCE THE MOST FEARED MEXICAN KILLER THERE WAS. HE KILLED EVERYTHING THAT STEPPED IN HIS PATH TILL ONE DAY SOME MEXICANS KILLED HIS FAMILY AND THOUGHT THEY'D SLAIN THE MONSTER HIMSELF. BUT EVERY NIGH I CAN STILL HEAR THE GROANS OF HIS SUFFERING AND THE THIRS FOR HIS REVENGE. (rock music playing) (film projector clicking) GETTING TOO CLOSE, BETTER PULL ON BACK SUCKER PUNCHES, NEED A ONE-TWO WHEN YOU'RE TALKIN' ON THE TELEPHONE YOU DON' M-M-M-M-M-M-MUMBLE YOU GOT BUSINESS, NEED TO FOLLOW THROUGH YEAH (singing indistinctly) (speaking Spanish) BUENOS DIAS, AMIGOS. Y'ALL LOOKIN' FOR WORK? S. YEAH? WELL, WELCOME TO AMERICA. TU HABLO INGLES? UH... PO-POQUITO. AH, YOU MEAN, "YES, A LITTLE." WE'RE IN AMERICA NOW, HOMBRE. WHERE Y'ALL COMING FROM? UM, MEXICO. MEXICO. I KNOW MEXICO. WHAT PART? BARRIO? BARRIO. BEAU, THEY'RE FROM BARRIO. ALL RIGHT. Y'ALL HUNGRY, THIRSTY? S. S? WELL, IF Y'ALL ARE LOOKIN' FOR WORK, WE GOT PLENTY OF IT. WHY DON'T Y'ALL HOP UP? (man) COME ON, GUYS, DON'T BE SCARED. (man speaking Spanish) DON'T BE SCARED NOW. MY NAME'S BEAU. THIS IS CAL. HOWDY. WELCOME TO AMERICA. COME ON UP. COME ON UP HERE. COME ON. WE GOT PLENTY OF ROOM. (Beau) ALL RIGHT. THERE WE GO. YOU GUYS MUST BE TIRED. YOU ALL RIGHT THERE? YOU GUYS MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME BACK HERE. I WISH WE HAD BETTER SEATS FOR Y'ALL. (whistles) HEY, Y'ALL THIRSTY? AGUA. THERE YOU GO, AMIGOS. SHARE IT AROUND. JUAN... (metal clanking) (Beau) GOOD MORNING, MEXICANS! WELL, I HOPE Y'ALL GO SOME GOOD SLEEP, 'CAUSE Y'ALL ARE ABOUT TO BE UP FOR A VERY LONG TIME. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, MY NAME'S BEAU. AND I'M GONNA BE YOUR MASTER OF CEREMONIES. Y'ALL KNOW MY LITTLE BROTHER CAL. HOWDY-DOODY, Y'ALL. THIS HERE'S OUR BEAUTIFUL SISTER DIDI. HI, Y'ALL. AND THAT HANDSOME CREATURE BACK THERE IS OUR LITTLE BABY BROTHER REGGIE. BUT DON'T GET TOO CLOSE. HE WILL FUCKIN' BITE YOU. (giggles) SO Y'ALL KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE, I PRESUME. YOU. POR QU ESTS AQU? JUST LET US GO. (man) PLEASE. LET YOU GO. (coughs) (laughs) LET YOU GO? Y'ALL STEPPED ON RED, WHITE, AND BLUE TERRITORY WITHOUT A HALL PASS, HOMBRE. TRY AGAIN. I PROMISE. I PROMISE WE'LL JUST GO BACK HOME. NOW WHAT THE FUCK IS IN IT FOR US IF WE JUST LET YOU GO HOME? DIDI, TELL HIM. NOTHIN', BEAU. NOTHIN'. SHE SAYS NOTHIN', AND I BELIEVE HER. SO NOW THE FUN STUFF. Y'ALL MIGHT NOT KNOW THIS, BUT OUR DADDY IS A VERY POWERFUL MAN. (growling) HE'S SOMEONE I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE Y'ALL TO AT SOME POINT, HOWEVER, HE GETS A LITTLE NERVOUS AROUND BIG CROWDS. SO WE'RE GONNA BRING Y'ALL BACK ONE AT A TIME TO MEET HIM. SO WHO'S FIRST? (growling) AH, HELL, I NEVER LIKED PICKING. SOMEONE'S FEELINGS ALWAYS GET HURT. CAL, WHY DON'T YOU DO IT? I DON'T KNOW, BEAU. THIS IS HARD. I'LL DO IT. I'LL DO IT. I'LL DO IT. ALL RIGHT, DIDI. BUT YOU PICK WISELY NOW. I KNOW WHAT TO DO. DUCK, DUCK! (Cal giggles) DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, GOOSE. AH, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE THE GOOSE, HOMBRE. (laughing) NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! TIME TO MEE EL MONSTRUO. (yelling and laughter) (man whimpering) (Reggie) YOU'RE STUPID. I DIDN'T KILL YOU. IT'S YOUR FAULT, 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE. (loud crunch, squishing) (loud crunch, whimpering stops) BLOOD. (crying) BLOOD. NO, NO, NO. BLOOD. (screams) AAH! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! AAH! (giggling) (Didi) LA LA LA LA LA LA LA (mariachi music playing) CUCARACHA CUCARACHA LA LA LA-LA LA-LA LA YOU WANT TO TOUCH ME? I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU. YOU LIKE GOATS, DON'T YA? OH. AH. OOPS. (giggles) (squeals) STAY RIGHT THERE. POP. HMM. (woman screaming) NO, POR FAVOR! NO! NO! NO, POR FAVOR! NO! (crying) NO! NO! NO, POR FAVOR! NO! NO! SHUT UP. THIS WON'T HURT NONE. NO! NO, POR FAVOR! NO. NO, NO. (grunts) (screams) (groans) (growls) (whimpering) (man) AH, YEAH. (gunshot) GODDAMN, CAL. YOU GOT BLOOD EVERYWHERE. (giggles) (laughing) I CAN NEVER GET OVER DEAD MEXICANS. YOU'RE DISGUSTING. (giggling) HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. I FORGOT TO ASK YOU YOUR NAME. I MEAN, WE'RE GONNA BE BESTIES NOW. FUCK YOU. "FUCK YOU" IS A REALLY WEIRD FUCKIN' NAME FOR A MEXICAN. MAYBE FOR A CHINAMAN. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS ANYWAY? BECAUSE YOU WERE TRESPASSIN'. I WASN'T TRESPASSING. I'M A FUCKING AMERICAN CITIZEN, BITCH! I WAS JUST HELPING MY PEOPLE. UH-OH, I'M KILLIN' ONE OF MY OWN. (speaking indistinctly) BESIDES, YOU'RE NOT EVEN FUCKING AMERICAN. ALL YOU DO IS MAKE 'EM LOOK LIKE TRASH, LIKE THE FUCKING WHITE TRASH YOU ARE. I'M GONNA MAKE YOU MY SLAVE. OH, YEAH? WELL, I THINK YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG MEXICAN, BITCH. (gasps) OH, THIS IS KINKY! THAT'S KINKY? THAT'S KINKY FOR YOU? (giggling) IS THIS KINKY FOR YOU, BITCH?! DIE, BITCH, DIE! (speaking indistinctly) DIE, BITCH, DIE! YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG COYOTE. (yells) MMM. BEANS ARE REALLY GOOD. DON'T Y'ALL THINK SO? MAN, HOW COME IT TAKES YOU TWO TIMES TO FRY 'EM? (speaking Spanish) YOU WHAT? YOU WANT SOME BEANS? (speaking Spanish) HOMBRE? THERE'S SOME BEANS. EAT 'EM. (revolver cocks) EAT 'EM. YOU'RE HOMBRE, RIGHT? IT'S OKAY. I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD USE YOUR HANDS. JUST EAT 'EM. PUT YOUR HANDS DOWN. JUST EAT IT. YOU'RE HUNGRY, AREN'T YOU? WHO ELSE IS HUNGRY? ANYBODY ELSE HUNGRY? (speaking Spanish) EAT IT. EAT IT. EAT THE BEANS. NO, SENOR. Y'ALL WON'T DO IT? BANG! (laughing) YOU DON'T GOTTA EAT 'EM. SORRY, BRO. HERE. MAYBE THERE'S A FEW LEFT. (singsong voice) FEE, FI, FO, FUM, I'M GONNA FIND YOU. (whispering) OH, FUCK. FUCK. (cell phone buzzes) YO, THIS IS P. HEY, P., IT'S OSCAR, MAN. (speaking indistinctly) WHERE YOU AT, FOOL? P., EVERYTHING WENT TO SHIT. (speaking Spanish) HOLLER, DAWG. (speaking Spanish) WHAT'S UP, MOTHERFUCKER? WHERE YOU BEEN? We were caught. BY WHO? (speaking Spanish) FUCK, EVERYTHING'S FUCKING UP. MOTHERFUCKER, BY WHO? EL MONSTRUO. COME ON, MAN, Don't be joking with me like that, ese. I AIN'T JOKING WITH YOU, ASSHOLE. I SAW HIM WITH MY OWN TWO EYES... (sighs) LOOK, MOTHERFUCKER, I'M GONNA TELL YOU THIS 'CAUSE I LOVE YOU. YOU'RE MY BROTHER. YOU'RE MY FAMILY. Dude, El Monstruo is just a fucking myth CREATED BY OUR AMERICAN-HATING ANCESTORS, MOTHERFUCKER, JUST TO SCARE THE FUCK OUT OF US. CHRISTIAN, IF I WANTED TO BE FUCKING WITH YOU, I WOULD BE FUCKING WITH YOU, SON OF A BITCH! Come help me out! I need your help! Please come down here, dude! OKAY, MOTHERFUCKER, I'LL BE THERE. WHERE YOU AT? I DON'T KNOW, SOME FUCKING SHITTY PARK NORTH OF A BORDER TOWN BY BARRIO. All right. I'll be there, bro. OKAY, JUST-- JUST FIND ME, DUDE. FIND ME. (sighs) THIS MOTHERFUCKER WANTS US TO GO PICK HIM UP. HE'S AT A PARK OUTSIDE THE BARRIO BORDER, MAN. KNOW WHERE THAT IS? (speaking indistinctly) LET'S GO, MAN. MOTHERFUCKER THINKS HE SAW EL MONSTRUO, ESE. WHAT THE FUCK? (laughs) (speaking indistinctly) BEEN SMOKING TOO MUCH CRACK, HOMEY. (speaking indistinctly) RALE. LET'S ROLL, DAWG. OH, NO. I LOST ANOTHER MEXICAN. BEAU IS GONNA BE SO MAD AT ME. (hip-hop music playing) (music stops) OH, MY GOD, P., EL MONSTRUO'S GONNA GET US, P.! EL MONSTRUO'S GONNA GET US! LISTEN, SON OF A BITCH, FOR AS MUCH AS YOU'RE MY BROTHER, I'LL STILL KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU KEEP MAKING FUN OF THAT SHIT. I KNOW WHAT I SAW. (speaking Spanish) SO YOU BETTER FUCKING BELIEVE ME AND STOP SHITTING AROUND. YOU, TOO, P. THERE'S A LO OF PEOPLE THERE, AND THEY ALL NEED OUR FUCKING HELP! OKAY? SO STOP IT! LET'S DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. OKAY, MAN. JUST TELL US WHERE THE FUCK HE IS. LET'S GO GET 'EM. LET'S GO GET 'EM, ESE. (strumming banjo) (playing "Amazing Grace") (both) AMAZING GRACE HOW SWEET THE SOUND THAT SAVED A WRETCH LIKE ME I ONCE WAS LOS BUT NOW AM FOUND WAS BLIND BUT NOW I SEE DIDI? DIDI? DIDI. DIDI. (grunts) DIDI. (moaning) HEY! NO! DIDI. (sobbing) DIDI. DIDI. DIDI! NO! (screaming) (sobbing) REGGIE, WHO DID THIS? I DON'T KNOW, BEAU. I DON'T KNOW, BEAU. SHH. IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. LOOKS LIKE WE GOT A MEXICAN ON THE LOOSE, BOYS, A VERY DEAD MEXICAN. (both crying) (screams) DADDY, DIDI'S DEAD. (sighs) (growling) WE GOT A BREACH, BUT I'M GONNA LOCK THIS PLACE DOWN. (screams) (animal roars) (Cal laughs) REALLY, Y'ALL? WE ALREADY GOT OUR FIRS "MEXICAN OF THE YEAR" AWARD, HUH? CONGRATULATIONS. SEE, THE ONLY PROBLEM I GOT WITH THAT IS NOW I'VE GOTTA PUT YOU ON LOCKDOWN WHILE WE HUN THAT MOTHERFUCKER DOWN. (revolver cocks) WE WILL HUNT HIM DOWN. AND WHEN WE FIND HIM, WE'RE GONNA GUT HIM LIKE THE PIG HE IS. (speaking Spanish) (voices overlapping) (man) NO, NO... (speaking Spanish) YOU LITTLE SHITS. NO, NO. OH, YOU--YOU ARE PRETTY, YOU KNOW? IT'S OKAY. (speaking Spanish) YOU SEE, I'M NOT LIKE MY BROTHER BEAU. I KNOW THAT A GOOD MEXICAN... (revolver clicks) NO. NO. IT'S OKAY, I WOULDN'T HURT YOU. (crying) (speaking indistinctly) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! (laughing) BANG! BANG! CRAZY FUCK. HEY, WHERE YOU GOIN', DAWG? HUH? WHERE THE FUCK YOU GOIN'? AAH! THAT'S RIGHT. YOU GOT AN AXE, HOMEY. I GOT A BLADE, ESE. YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO TAKE ME DOWN, NO? WHAT THE FUCK YOU WAITING FOR? (speaking indistinctly) AAH! (grunts) (speaking indistinctly) SHOULD I KILL YOU OR LET YOU BLEED OUT, CABRN? (animal growling) (loud crack) (indistinct conversation) BOO! SOMEBODY MISSED OL' CAL. YEAH. DID YOU REALIZE YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG MEXICANS, PUTO? (laughs) SEE, THE THING IS, I LOVE MESSING WITH THE WRONG MEXICANS. SO ARE YOU GONNA SHOO OR JUST POINT THAT SHIT AT ME? HUH? HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT? WELL, PUTO, YOU AND ME HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT? JUST LIKE YOU, I HAVE A BROTHER. A DEAD ONE. HE'S A LOT SMARTER. OKAY. (gunshot) AND HE'S STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU. THIS AIN'T OUR FIRST TIME AT THE RODEO, FUCKER. (Christian speaking Spanish) I'M GONNA KILL ALL THESE MEXICANS. I'M GONNA KILL ALL OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! (Beau sighs) (man) SO IT SEEMS THE TABLES HAVE TURNED, EH? PUTO? (laughs) FUCK YOU. NO, FUCK YOU. LISTEN TO ME. LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF. I'M OSCAR, AND THAT THERE IS MY BROTHER CHRISTIAN. (laughs) CHRISTIAN? OH, THAT'S FUNNY. I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I JUST NOTICED THAT ME AND MY BRO HERE MIGHT BE JUST A LITTLE BI MORE CRAZIER, YOU KNOW, MORE LOCO THAN YOU. (laughs) I DON'T THINK SO, MOTHERFUCKER. AND I AIN'T CRAZY. I'M JUST AN AMERICAN HERO. OH, AMERICAN HERO. YOU KNOW WHAT? SHUT THE FUCK UP, MOTHERFUCKER! YOU KNOW, WE'RE STILL TALKING, MAN. AAH! LISTEN TO HIM! ME AND MY BROTHER ARE IN A FUCKIN' DILEMMA. YOU'VE CAUSED SO MUCH SHI TO MY FUCKIN' PEOPLE, IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY. IT'S NOT EVEN FAIR. THERE'S NO PUNISHMEN I COULD DO TO YOU, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF WHITE TRASH, THAT WOULD EVEN COMPARE TO WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MY PEOPLE. HEY, HEY. I'VE GOT A LITTLE ITCH ON MY NOSE. CAN YOU GET IT? YEAH, SURE, MAN. SO I'VE GOT THREE OPTIONS FOR YOU, MOTHERFUCKER. FIRST ONE IS I PUT A BULLE THROUGH YOUR FUCKIN' HEAD. YOU'D LOVE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU? IT'D BE QUICK AND EASY, CALL IT A DAY. BUT NO, MOTHERFUCKER. THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU DESERVE, YOU PIECE OF WHITE TRASH. OPTION NUMBER TWO, WE TORTURE THE FUCK OUT OF YOU, MOTHERFUCKER. (laughs) WE MAKE NOT EVEN BE ABLE TO WALK, TALK, OR EVEN SEE RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKER. (groans) IMAGINE YOURSELF LIKE THIS, ALL CROSS-EYED AND SHIT. THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH... I GET SOME OF MY HOMEYS IN HERE, GIVE YOU A TASTE OF YOUR OWN FUCKIN' MEDICINE, YOU PIECE OF WHITE TRASH. HOPE YOU LIKE IT. (Oscar) THAT'S RIGHT. OKAY, WELL... (clears throat) COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR AND BRUSH SOME TEETH? OR I GOT SOME GUM IN BACK POCKET. YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF THA DOG SHIT BREATH OF YOURS. ALL RIGHT, BITCH. Y'ALL KNOW WHO MY DADDY IS? YOU KNOW WHO MY FUCKIN' DADDY IS?! AAH! I KNOW WHO YOUR FUCKIN' DADDY IS. (grunting) I KNOW WHO HE IS. HE'S EL MONSTRUO, NO? OH, BY THE WAY, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW OUR LITTLE NICKNAME. ME AND HIM... OH, YEAH, THE BROTHERS COYOTE, HUH? SURE, I HEARD OF YOU. THAT'S RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKER. BROTHERS COYOTE FOR YOU, MOTHERFUCKER. NOT ONLY ARE YOU GONNA DIE... BUT YOU'RE ALSO GONNA SEE YOUR DAD DIE, MOTHERFUCKER. 'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH. THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA KILL HIM. THAT LEGEND IS GONE. EL MONSTRUO'S OVER, MOTHERFUCKER. I'M DONE WITH YOUR SHIT, PUTO. YO, HOMEYS, GET IN HERE. HAVE FUN, MOTHERFUCKER. BRING IT, HERMANOS COYOTES! FUCKIN' BRING IT! COME ON, LET'S GO! SHUT THE FUCK UP. (indistinct shouting) WHOO! HERMANOS COYOTES, MOTHERFUCKER! GOD BLESS AMERICA! GOD BLESS YOU! (indistinct shouting) (Oscar) EL MONSTRUO. NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU, FUCKER. YOU KNOW YOU GOT I COMING TO YOU. YEAH. LOOKS LIKE WE GOT OURSELVES A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED MEXICAN STANDOFF, MOTHERFUCKER. (laughs) WHAT THE FUCK YOU LAUGHING AT, PAYASO? DON'T YOU KNOW BROWN IS THE NEW RED, WHITE, AND BLUE? PUTO. THAT'S RIGHT. (speaking Spanish) LET'S GO, MOTHERFUCKER. (rock music playing) (gunshot) I HOPE THIS SONG WILL BE THE END SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT? WHAT DO I THINK? I THINK YOU'RE PEDRO. AND I THINK YOU HAVE OUR FUCKIN' DRUGS. I THINK YOU ARE MISTAKEN. NOW I'M GONNA ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME... BRYAN, WHAT THE FUCK? PEDRO, WHERE THE FUCK ARE OUR DRUGS? YOU KNOW, TELLING ALL THESE STORIES IS MAKING ME HUNGRY AGAIN. (Kyle) BRYAN, THIS GUY IS OBVIOUSLY A FUCKING LUNATIC. CAN WE PLEASE JUST LEAVE? NO, WE CAN'T LEAVE. OKAY, WE CAME HERE FOR DRUGS. I'M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT 'EM. I WISH TIO WAS HERE SO I COULD HAVE SOME OF HIS DELICIOUS TACOS. YOU KNOW WHAT? IF YOU WANT TO STAY HERE WITH THE CANNIBALISTIC TACO GUY, BE MY GUEST. I'M FUCKING LEAVING, WITH OR WITHOUT YOU. WAIT. I HAVE ONE MORE STORY. NO, FUCK YOU. OKAY? AND FUCK YOUR STUPID FAIRY TALES. I'M GONNA GIVE YOU FIVE SECONDS. IF I DON'T HAVE MY FUCKIN' DRUGS, I'M GONNA PUT A HOLE IN THAT BIG BROWN HEAD OF YOURS. IT'S ABOUT TWO YOUNG GENTLEMEN... FIVE... WHO SNUCK INTO BARRIO COUNTRY... FOUR... AND WERE LOOKING FOR DRUGS. THREE... PEDRO, HE'S NO FUCKING AROUND. BRYAN, PUT THE GUN AWAY. THEY WERE LOOKING FOR TROUBLE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES. TWO--BITCH, I WILL SHOOT YOU OUT OF PRINCIPLE. THEY WERE IN OVER THEIR HEADS, GOT CHOPPED UP INTO TINY PIECES, SERVED TO HOMELESS MEXICANS. ONE! BANG! WHAT'S THE MATTER, HOMBRE? YOU NEVER KILLED ANYBODY BEFORE? WHAT'S SO FUCKIN' FUNNY, MAN? (laughing) ME NEITHER. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO MY FRIEND PEDRO. HOLA, AMIGO. (laughing) (speaking indistinctly) (screaming) WELCOME TO BARRIO, AMIGOS. (cell phone ringing) I HAVE TO TAKE THIS. HOLA. THIS IS PEDRO. YES, I HAVE ECSTASY. OF COURSE I HAVE ECSTASY. COCAINE, MARIJUANA. I GOT IT ALL. YOU KNOW WHERE BARRIO IS? (film projector clicking) (rock music playing) I'M A BIG BAD HAWK I LIKE TO FLY IN THE DARK I'M A BIG BAD HAWK I'M LEAVIN' BUH BUH-BUH BUH BUH-BUH B-B-BIG BAD WOLF JUST ROAMIN' AROUND B-B-BIG BAD WOLF SAYING HI TO THE GROUND (snarls) DON'T STEP ON THE ROCKS YOU'RE MAKIN' TOO MUCH NOISE THERE'S MRS. SMITH'S SONS THEY'RE WILD BOYS YOU GONNA COME AROUND HERE (howls) |
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