1
Whoo-hoo!
[laughing maniacally]
[groans]
[yelps]
[sirens wailing in distance]
[smooth jazz music playing]
-[man] Is that...
-Oh.
-Oh, he's here.
-Huh?
[both gasp]
Oh, Bruce, is that you?
[Bruce] I know, soon.
Ah, this is a terrific space
for this.
A moment.
I have to take this.
[headset beeps]
I'm clear, Alfred. Update.
[Alfred on headset]
None as of yet.
Master Bruce, it is acceptable
to take one night off.
Speak to someone about sports.
[indistinct chatter]
Selina Kyle is here.
[Alfred]
Perhaps Ms. Kyle is merely
enjoying the festivities.
She hasn't been involved
in any illegal activity
for at least a year.
Sixteen months.
[Nightwing on headset]
Come on, it's Catwoman.
[man groaning,
blows landing on headset]
[both grunting]
She's probably
casing the joint.
One second.
[grunts and groans]
[all grunting]
You were only supposed
to be scouting tonight.
Sounds like it went sideways.
Yeah.
Found out the shipment
was tonight,
so I thought I'd torch it.
[explosion]
Who knew heroin
was so flammable?
[cocks gun, fires]
[explosion]
I'll be there in five.
-Five? Where's the trust?
-[detonator beeping]
[grunts]
-Huh?
-[beeping rapidly]
-[explosion]
-Aah!
[groans]
It's over in two.
[sirens approaching]
[Nightwing] Gotham PD is in,
so I'm out.
[headset beeps]
[Alfred on headset]
Sir, do you have an idea
what Ms. Kyle's interest
in the gala would be?
I'll ask.
Well, knock me over
with a feather.
Bruce Wayne mixing
with the swells.
So what do
they owe the honor?
It's mandatory.
I'm a board member.
How have you been, Selina?
Anything new?
You could say
I'm at a crossroads.
I used to love my work
at the gallery.
But now...
Sometimes change is good.
Like you would know.
[man] Bruce?
You're actually here.
You never come
to these things.
It's like seeing a unicorn
in a $5,000 suit.
Selina,
this is Thomas Elliot,
good friend and world-renowned
brain surgeon.
Thomas, Selina Kyle.
Hello. And I wouldn't say
"world-renowned."
Maybe the US
and parts of Canada.
Tom and I were inseparable
as kids,
especially after
losing my parents.
You're not getting away
this time.
Come on, let's have a drink.
Tony, line them up.
[Alfred on headset] Sorry
to interrupt, Master Bruce,
but I'm receiving reports that
Bane has abducted a child.
Ringing your phone now.
-[cell phone ringing]
-[headset beeps]
This needs my attention.
But it was good seeing you.
I'd like to catch up.
Soon.
Nice while it lasted.
[cell phone vibrating]
[message received tone]
[Tony] And here we are.
Seriously, both of them?
[chuckles] Perfect couple.
[lock chirps]
[device trills]
-[sirens wailing]
-[reporter] The scion of
the Dupree Chemical fortune,
eight-year-old Edward Dupree,
has been kidnapped
by the criminal known as Bane.
He has demanded
an undisclosed ransom,
which the family has agreed
to pay, against police advice.
Commissioner Gordon,
do you have a statement?
Bane, if you're watching,
we have your money.
Don't hurt the boy.
[sirens blaring]
[groans and grunts]
[Alfred on headset]
The child was taken from the
playground in broad daylight.
[gasps and groans]
It's not like Bane
to be so public.
[breathing heavily]
[groaning]
Everything will
be fine, Edward.
-[Bane] Where is he?
-[gasps]
Where's my damn money?
[Bane grunts]
[gasping]
[Bane roaring]
[chuckles] Stupid old Bat,
my Venom is stronger.
I am stronger!
[grunts]
-[grunts]
-[Bane groans]
[groaning]
[both grunt]
[Bane roars]
-[groans]
-I need my money.
-[electricity surging]
-[screaming]
[groans]
I'll kill you!
[Alfred on headset] Isn't Bane
usually a bit more eloquent?
[both grunting]
[Batman]
It must be a side effect
of the new Venom design.
Which means his mind
is under the same strain.
[Bane] Need my money
for more juice!
[gas hissing]
[breathing heavily]
[Batman] Here's your money.
-[blow thuds]
-[groans]
Come get it.
[roars]
-[groans]
-[electricity crackling]
[screaming in agony]
[groans]
Your parents
are waiting in front.
Asshole!
[device whirs]
[Bane breathing weakly]
Batman.
Apologies for
the interruption.
Lady Shiva.
The League of Assassins
has no business here.
[Lady Shiva] Perhaps we do.
The League has been in flux,
different factions
vying for power.
And?
And in the chaos,
the life-giving power
of a Lazarus Pit
was exploited by
an unknown intruder.
I would ask if you know
anything of this matter.
No.
-But I'll look into it.
-[door opens]
-[door closes]
-[police officer] Down here.
[Lady Shiva] My thanks.
It was a pleasure
to see you work.
Next time, call first.
Is it too much to ask
for one quiet weekend?
-Apparently.
-Well, thanks for saving
the day, as usual.
Wait, where's the ransom?
[thudding]
[Gordon] Catwoman?
Damn it!
Did you know
she was back in town?
[Batman] Catwoman.
Took you long enough.
[whip cracks]
Like the view?
It's the only thing
you'll catch tonight.
[train horn blares]
Don't be so sure.
[whip cracks]
[grunts]
No.
[grunts angrily]
[groans]
[gasps]
Hush, Batman.
Hush.
[man] Heh,
told you it was him.
Fell out of the sky
like a dead pigeon.
-[electricity crackling]
-[screaming]
What the hell?
[groaning]
-[gun clicks]
-Only one way to deal
with this freak.
-[whip cracks]
-[groans]
Back off, boys.
He's mine.
How about we cut him in two,
and then you?
After we're done with you,
he means.
Naughty, naughty.
There's a three-strikes law
in this state, boys.
-[grunts]
-That was one.
-[grunts]
-Two.
-[groans]
-Three.
Ah!
-[whip cracks]
-Ahh! Ooh!
You know,
some guys pay for that.
[motorcycle approaching]
[tires screech]
-[Batgirl grunts]
-[men groaning]
Man, screw this.
That was...
uncalled for.
[Batgirl]
Get away from him.
You're working with Bane
and you're going down.
Calm yourself, little girl.
Come quietly
and you won't get hurt.
Aw, that's adorable.
[both grunting]
[whip cracks]
Take care of your boss.
[whip cracks]
Ugh! He's not my boss.
[Batman groaning]
-[headset beeps]
-Alfred, Batman's hurt.
Really hurt.
[groaning weakly]
[Poison Ivy] Any problems?
[Catwoman] Batman.
What happened?
He couldn't keep up.
You sound disappointed.
Does it matter?
I got the job done.
Don't worry yourself
with anyone or anything,
except pleasing me.
Now bring me my money.
Good Kitty.
How would you say it?
"Purrfect."
Say it for me, Kitty. Say,
"Purrfect."
Purrfect.
[Poison Ivy] Mmm.
You can go now.
[power switch clangs]
What the...
Not yet, Ivy.
Fifty-fifty, remember?
Since I can't control you,
maybe I'll finish our deal
another way.
Oh, I wouldn't.
If my vitals don't remain,
well, vital,
this herbicide bomb will make
nasty work of you
and your pets.
But let's not go down
that road.
I have a job that will pay
ten times what you made today.
Think of all the fertilizer
you could buy.
I even brought you a gift.
Your favorite color,
I believe.
[Batgirl] Is he gonna be okay?
[Alfred] His head injury
is beyond me, I'm afraid.
He needs a hospital.
Batman can go to the hospital?
No.
But reckless playboy
Bruce Wayne can.
Take the roadster
to Forest Road near
mile marker 82, and wreck it.
Dick Grayson will take him
to the emergency room.
Forty-five miles an hour
should be adequate.
Remember to tuck and roll.
Pretty screwed up
you guys have a plan for this.
I shall notify Thomas Elliot.
It seems Master Bruce
will be spending time
with his old friend after all.
Well, surgery couldn't
have gone better.
But you'll have to stay out
of the fast lane for a while.
Tom, I owe you so much.
It's the least I can do
for all the times
I left you hanging.
Oh, wait.
I know, I haven't been
a very good friend.
Are you kidding me?
Look at all the publicity
you gave me.
And don't think
you're the most notorious
patient I ever had.
I get around, you know.
You have patients
more infamous than me?
You'd know if you
hung around me more.
Maybe I will.
I'm serious, Tom.
I wanna be a better friend.
Bruce, I will always
be your friend...
no matter how annoying
that can be.
[Batcomputer trilling]
Dr. Elliot recommended
a minimum of two more weeks
bed rest.
Can't be helped, I need to go
to Blackgate Prison.
Yes, I see. I know better
than to try and dissuade you.
By now, I would hope so.
However, might I suggest
this one?
[device beeps rapidly]
The headpiece
has a bit more padding.
-Hmm.
-[Alfred] Do try to avoid
blows to the head.
I'd prefer not to buttle
for the World's Greatest
Vegetable, sir.
Yes, very thoughtful, Alfred.
[alarm blares]
[Gordon] Moving Bane
is unnecessary.
Waller, this is one of
the most secure prisons
on the planet.
Security has nothing
to do with it.
You have no paperwork,
no orders.
I'm calling the mayor.
Wondered when you'd get here.
Are you also gonna tell me
I can't take him?
Can't and shouldn't
are different things.
I need to speak with Bane.
Regarding?
I believe he's working
with Poison Ivy and Catwoman.
I need to know why.
-Five minutes is all--
-No.
I might have some information
to trade.
I'm on a schedule.
Another mission with your
so-called Suicide Squad?
-[alarms sounding]
-[Bane growling on monitor]
-[computer beeps]
-What's going on?
Didn't you sedate him?
Yes, ma'am, enough to tranq
a herd of elephants.
-[Bane grunts]
-[groans]
Bane is using a new Venom.
Makes him immune
to your sedatives.
I was going to tell you.
These tranquilizers can be
fired from the 20 millimeter
guns on your helicopters.
Stay back and I'll help you
reacquire him.
Batman.
Stay out of my business
and I might stay out of yours.
[grunts]
[Bane] Where is my money?
How should I know?
-[Bane] Wrong answer.
-[device whirring]
Listen, freak,
Ivy was controlling me,
she made me steal your money.
[Bane] Hmm.
Then you die first.
[grunts]
[groans]
[breathing heavily]
[Bane grunts]
-[explosion]
-[both scream]
[Bane gasps]
-Catwoman, down.
-[device beeps]
[Bane yells]
[straining]
[yelps]
[screams]
[groaning]
[sighs]
The package is secure.
Move out.
[wind whistling]
Thanks.
It appears we're even.
Stay out of trouble.
Wait, God, I know you're not
big on conversation,
but hold on.
You're going after Ivy
and I want in.
I have a code.
Revenge isn't part of it.
How about the address of her
pheromone-controlled minions?
Anyone knows where she went,
it's the zombies
who tended her plants.
Give me the information
and I'll take care of Ivy.
Nope.
Hmm. Fine,
we work together on this.
What's the address?
Oh, I'm not done
with my demands.
Ticktock. Trail's going cold.
We've done this dance
for so long.
Aren't you just
the least bit...
curious?
[wind whistling]
[groans] No more.
Metropolis.
Ivy's in Metropolis.
[Batman] Hmm.
[screams]
God, you're hot
when you smash stuff.
-[headset beeps]
-It's me. Get the jet ready.
[Alfred] Very good, sir.
And pack the jewelry.
[Alfred] Oh, dear.
Jewelry?
[Lois] "Man of Steel
Saves Bloodmobile."
I like it.
Hey, is "Man of Steel"
hyphenated?
I can never remember.
-Mmm, no.
-How about "Bloodmobile"?
Lois, I have a deadline.
Just super-type it
like you do when you think
I'm not watching.
How come you're
still hanging around?
Don't you have an interview?
He's coming here.
Quite the get.
-Who?
-[Bruce] That would be me.
Bruce, you're early.
Bruce Wayne,
this is Clark Kent.
I believe we've met.
Yes. I've admired
your work, Clark.
On occasion.
Excuse me, got to check if
the conference room is ready.
Something tells me
a man like you is here
for more than an interview.
I do like to multitask.
Any business you can
tell me about?
Not at the moment. Wouldn't
want any third parties
getting involved.
-[footsteps approach]
-[Lois] Ready.
Shall we?
I thought about buying
a newspaper once.
Wouldn't it be something
if I owned the Planet?
And you and Clark
could work for me.
Just don't forget
my big raise, Mr. Moneybags.
[Bruce chuckles] Lois.
[gasps]
Oh, please.
Don't tell me
you and the Boy Scout
have switched cities.
LexCorp makes
a fortified ethylene compound
engineered to allow
exotic plants
to withstand changes
in locale and temperature.
And, so, why are you here?
I need the delivery list
of that compound
for the last week.
So, of course you come to me
at 3:00 in the morning.
The sooner I have
the information, the sooner
you get back to sleep.
And you couldn't visit
the person who does
the deliveries
and is probably awake
as we speak?
The information was deleted
on her computer.
I assume yours has
a few more safeguards.
One or two.
[computer trilling]
Here.
Would you like a printout,
maybe some hot cocoa
before you leave?
I have what I need.
What you need is to show me
some respect.
I saved all your asses
against Cyborg Superman,
and I'll remind you I'm
a Justice League member now.
Probationary member.
Don't call us, we'll call you.
[Poison Ivy]
Well, look who's here.
Wondered when you'd find me.
I've come back to you.
Have you, now?
No one can resist you.
And why would they want to?
That's so true, Kitty.
But no one fakes it with me.
[groans]
Okay, crazy plant bitch,
it's on.
[both grunting]
[groans]
[straining]
[Poison Ivy] Nose filters?
What am I going
to do with you, Kitty?
Oh, I know.
[gasps]
-[straining]
-[vines tightening]
[gasps]
[Catwoman gasps]
[exhales]
Cut it close, why don't you.
You're going back
to Arkham, Ivy.
Oh!
Is Batman your new boy toy?
[snaps]
I have one, too.
[device humming]
Stay away from her.
You heard my Superman.
Lover...
kill them.
-Tell me you have a plan.
-Yes.
Run.
[glass shatters]
[inhaling deeply]
You thoughtless, worthless,
stupid meat.
I don't get my money
if they're still alive.
I won't... kill.
Are you trying to resist?
Seems my kryptonite kisses
need a touch-up.
Mmm.
Find them.
Kill them.
Yes.
-[whooshing]
-[rumbling]
Ugh, help these days.
[Catwoman]
How is he not on us?
He's as fast as a...
Well, you know.
[Batman] Lead-lined tunnels,
courtesy of LexCorp.
They'll buy us some time.
But this is Superman.
Yes, and if he wanted,
we'd be dead already.
Deep down, he's a good person.
And deep down...
I'm not.
That's the jewelry?
Normally I'd be disappointed.
You clear on your part?
Standard smash and grab,
not like I haven't
done it before.
[rumbling]
That's my cue.
[bricks crumbling]
[heavy thudding]
Listen to me, Clark,
I've opened the gas main.
One spark from
your heat vision,
you blow up the entire block.
And you know what building
we're under.
[device hums]
-[Batman grunting]
-[groaning]
[both grunting]
Huh?
[groans]
[groans]
Remember what I said
about the gas main?
I lied.
[groans]
[groans]
That hurt.
[chokes]
-It was supposed to.
-[distant grunting]
[grunts] Hey!
What are you doing?
What... Get your hands off--
Shut up and hope
the Big Blue Boy Scout
snaps out of it.
[device humming]
[Batman] Get control.
You can save her.
It's your choice, not Ivy's.
[deep grunt]
Damn it.
[groaning]
Okay, looks like
we do it the hard way.
[screaming]
[Lois] Superman, help!
[screaming]
[gasping]
Oh.
How's your day been, honey?
Mine's been... eventful.
I'll explain everything.
I promise.
I, uh, blacked out
for that part.
You better have.
[Superman] Catwoman.
He made me do it.
[Batman] I wouldn't get
too comfortable if I were you.
[Poison Ivy] Shit.
[panting]
-[Catwoman grunts]
-[groans]
[Poison Ivy groaning]
Was that really necessary?
[both] Yes.
You could have gotten
Lois killed.
I had faith you'd save her.
-Hmm.
-[Catwoman] Batman.
Catch.
Synthetic kryptonite.
-You know who made it?
-Working on it.
[gasps] Mother...
None of this is my fault.
I was forced to use Catwoman
to steal Bane's ransom.
[sighs] Then he made me
control Superman.
Can't say he put up
much of a fight.
What's his name?
Now that would be telling.
[grunts] Not the hair!
-[claws protract]
-[Poison Ivy screams]
They may go easy on you,
but I won't.
Name. Now.
Hush.
It's true,
he calls himself Hush.
I never met him before.
He knew a lot about me.
Too much.
[Superman] That's enough.
-I'll take her.
-[groans]
I think your business here
is done.
You weren't supposed
to throw Lois off the roof.
Is this your code again?
Superman was going
to squish you.
So I improvised.
That's what partners do,
right?
[Catwoman moans softly]
[Hush] This just gets
better and better.
Look at you, making an effort.
So wait, does this mean
Selina is two-timing
Batman with you,
-or vice versa?
-Don't you have
something to do?
Nope.
Just thought
of something else.
Maybe she likes you both
because you're both
the same guy,
only she doesn't know it.
Thank you, Alfred.
There he goes.
Bruce Wayne on a genuine date.
Don't do anything
I wouldn't do!
[phone ringing]
[Bruce] Hello, Damian.
Titus.
Pennyworth tells me you're
romantically involved
with a criminal now?
Ex-criminal.
And it's only a date.
There are
no ex-criminals, Father,
only ones who aren't breaking
the law at the moment.
[barks]
She's not like that anymore.
-Damian, I--
-Look, I understand.
This never-ending mission
of ours is a lonely endeavor.
If this trollop provides
some carnal release, so be it.
"Trollop"?
Your slang skills need work.
But I needn't bring up your
past poor choices in women,
including but not limited to
my mother.
Damian, I'm not--
-Not that I'm ungrateful
being here, mind you...
-[brakes screech]
...however, I must insist
that you use protection.
And another thing,
-cover your drink.
-Goodbye, Damian.
[beeps]
[hyenas laughing]
Here's your steak, Larry.
And one for you, Moe.
And, Shemp,
-you get two because
it's your birthday.
-[low growling]
Aw.
I don't know why Mr. J
isn't here.
[hyenas whimpering]
-[soft gunshots]
-[hyenas whine]
Huh?
Oh, he's not coming.
Okay, freak, who are you
and what do you know
about my puddin'?
I know he needs your help.
Hey, I'm the only one who gets
to tie up Mr. J!
Just do me a little favor and
you can have him back again.
Good as new.
[knocking on door]
[Selina] It's open. Come in.
Are those for moi?
Yes. You look...
incredible.
Right back at ya.
-Is there time for a drink?
-Why not?
You know, I had a bet
with Eartha here
that you wouldn't show up.
-[Eartha meows]
-I thought for sure I'd get
a phone call with some excuse.
And yet...
[yowling]
...here I am.
Actually,
I've been rethinking
certain things in my life.
Ooh, confession time.
Do tell.
Nothing specific.
I've just been feeling
the need to...
change some things.
I know the feeling.
I've done some changing myself
since we first met.
I was wilder then.
I thought maybe that's
why you dropped me,
too unrefined
for your social circle.
That wasn't it.
Truth be told,
I like that about you.
I hope you're not
entirely tamed.
No.
But I like
to balance things more.
To balance.
[operatic singing]
-[groans]
-[audience gasping]
"Wah, wah, wah."
Crying clowns,
who needs them, am I right?
Ladies and jerks,
there's been a slight change
to tonight's program.
[all gasp]
[Harley] Along with the opera
robbing you
-for 1,000 bucks a ticket...
-[people gasping]
...we're gonna rob you too!
-Ha-ha!
-[man gasps]
I'm also here for my puddin',
who's been clown-napped.
To get him back,
I have to kill...
-[gasps]
-Eh, not you.
-Maybe you.
-[gasps]
-Uh, you!
-[gasps]
You I should kill
for that stupid beard!
Oh, there you are.
Bruce Wayne.
Nice tux.
Hope it's not a rental.
[Selina screams]
[laughing maniacally]
Whoa.
[resumes laughing]
Tom, get the ladies
to safety.
Okay, but I'm coming back.
What are you gonna do?
-[laughter continues]
-She wants me,
she'll follow me.
-Don't get killed.
-[gunshots continue]
[people screaming]
Bingo-matic.
[groans]
-[grunting]
-Hold still,
you wascally wabbit.
[Harley whining]
-[screams]
-Whoops.
Sorry, Rico!
[grunts]
Huh?
What?
[yelps]
Your jester drag was over
in the '90s,
now it's just sad.
[grunting]
-[whip cracks]
-Oh. Oh!
-[whip cracks]
-[grunts] Hyah!
[grunts]
[grunting]
[vocalizing circus music]
[grunting]
[people screaming]
[woman gasping]
[groaning]
What is it
the theater folks say?
Break a face!
[groans]
Bats with Cats, now? Ugh.
[imitates retching]
I just threw up
in my mouth a little.
-Batman.
-Lie still. You've been hurt.
Not that bad.
Get the clown.
[gunshot]
[thunderclap]
[maniacal laughter]
[continues laughing]
Hmm?
[chuckles]
Oh, boy. This does not
look good, does it?
Joker!
You know what the joke
is here? I'm totally innocent.
Ugh, that doesn't even
sound right, does it?
[grunts]
[groans]
[chuckling] Batsy,
I was in a basement
until five minutes ago.
I'm also looking for Harley.
Have you seen her?
[grunting]
Stop. Stop!
[chuckling]
-[Joker screams]
-[thunderclap]
[blows thudding]
[Joker cackling]
[Joker] Stop. Stop!
-[Batman grunts]
-[pants]
-[Batman grunting]
-[groaning]
Batman, stop... [spits]
[panting and wheezing]
Stop me if you've
heard this one before.
Two guys walk into a bar...
[grunts]
[chokes]
[growls]
[choking]
[grunts]
I want you to break your code,
but for something
I actually did.
-[Joker chokes]
-[Gordon] Batman, don't!
I'm warning you, Batman,
let him go!
[growling]
Do not make me do this,
not over him.
-[growls]
-I won't let you
throw your life away.
[continues choking]
Gotham needs Batman.
[gurgles, splutters]
[sighs softly]
[thunder rumbling]
[sirens wailing]
[groaning]
[Joker breathing heavily]
That sentimental
claptrap worked.
[clears throat]
Well, back to the grind.
Who's Robin these days?
Shut your damn mouth.
[laughing]
Strip him.
-[handcuffs clicking]
-Double hand and leg cuffs.
Ooh, kinky.
[Joker laughing maniacally]
[thunderclap]
[priest] "Do not store up
treasures here on earth,
where moths eat them
and rust destroys them,
and where thieves
break in and steal.
Store your treasures
in heaven,
where moths and rust
cannot destroy,
and thieves do not break in
and steal.
Wherever your treasure is,
there the desires
of your heart will also be.
Your eye is like a lamp,
it provides light
for your body.
When your eye is healthy,
your whole body
is filled with light.
But when your eye
is unhealthy,
your whole body
is filled with darkness.
And if the light you think
you have is actually darkness,
how deep that darkness is."
[bats chittering]
[Batcomputer beeping]
[Nightwing] Knockout gas
from a jack-in-the-box.
-Someone did their homework.
-The knockout gas
only kept him unconscious
for 15 minutes.
After coming to, Joker used
the acid in his boutonniere
to burn through his ropes.
How do you forget
about the boutonniere?
He didn't.
He wanted Joker to escape.
[typing]
It was all planned
so Joker would wake up
in time to free himself,
as Harley attacked.
Then he ran to the opera,
arriving just as
Tom was killed.
So, the Joker
really is innocent?
This time.
The events of the past months
reach as high as Superman
and as low as the Joker.
All were set into motion
by Hush.
But why kill Thomas Elliot?
He's got no connection
to Batman.
But he does...
Did have one
with Bruce Wayne.
Hush knows
Bruce Wayne is Batman.
[Batcomputer trilling]
[cell phone beeps]
Hi, Selina. How are you?
-Sorry I haven't returned
your calls.
-[Bruce] It's okay.
I just wanted to thank you
for... At the funeral.
That meant a lot to me.
I thought you could
use a friend.
I'm so sorry about Thomas.
He seemed like
one of the good ones.
He was.
Let's not wait
another ten years before
seeing each other, okay?
I'd like that.
There's just some business
I need to take care of first.
If I were you,
I wouldn't wait too long.
Are you saying
I have competition?
Full disclosure?
I was seeing someone
on and off before you called.
It's complicated.
Ah. A mystery man.
You have no idea.
Well, may the best
mystery man win.
Be careful what you wish for.
-Stay safe, Bruce.
-[cell phone beeps]
[cell phone beeps]
I didn't hear a thing.
[alarm blaring]
[sighs] What now?
[tires screeching]
-[Batcomputer beeps]
-[Batman] Riddler.
That C-lister?
It's like they're all
crawling out from
under the carpets now.
It might be
none of my business,
but I want you to know
I'm for this thing.
Thing?
You and Selina.
Brucelina?
Anyway, I think
she's good for you.
-She makes you...
-[tires screeching]
...less intense.
[weapon beeps]
Hold on.
But if you're serious
about her, you're going to
have to tell her everything.
Otherwise it won't work.
-You're right.
-I am?
It's none of your business.
[engine revving]
[beeps]
[tires screeching]
[groans]
-[grunts]
-[groans]
[all grunting]
[all grunting]
-[screams in pain]
-[groans]
[both groan]
[panting]
[yelps]
[gasps]
Oh, shit.
[Riddler whimpers]
Hey, hey, I'm not resisting.
Where is he?
I know not
whom you speak of.
Hush put you up to this.
Can you rephrase that
in the form of a riddle?
[gasps and groans]
There was no riddle.
That's the point.
Maybe I'm trying
something new.
You know, shake things up.
Shake, shake, shake
[chuckles]
[gasps]
[handcuffs click]
[Hush] I'm glad
you're here, Batman.
Who are you?
[Hush] I'm the man
that will destroy your life
before taking it.
We'll see about that.
[Hush] We already have.
Or at least Thomas Elliot has.
You'll run in circles
as I kill your friends
one by one.
Face me.
[Hush] No one
you care for is safe.
[Hush chuckles]
-[grunts]
-[Hush laughs maliciously]
-[continues laughing]
-[Batman grunting]
-[breathing heavily]
-[laughter echoing]
[grunts]
[growls]
[laughter continues]
[Hush] Soon, Batman.
Very soon.
[Batman breathing heavily]
[wind howling]
[Catwoman] Batman.
I'm not stealing anything,
just looking around.
Old habits.
I know this is your home,
Selina.
I have for a long time.
Right.
World's Greatest Detective.
So why are you here?
I want you to leave town.
I don't know what
you think we have,
but you don't get to
tell me what to do.
I wouldn't be here
if it wasn't serious.
Hush told me he's going to
hurt the ones closest to me.
The ones I care for most.
Okay. Unexpected.
Whoever Hush is, he's been
one step ahead of me
the whole time.
He undoubtedly
knows we're involved.
[sighs]
A few days ago,
I suffered a loss.
It's been suggested
that I'm handling it better
because I have you in my life.
In your life?
Isn't that a bit much?
Maybe it's time to find out.
Wait.
Are you sure?
I am.
Then let me.
Bruce?
Bruce Wayne is Batman?
So, what now?
Oh, I can think of
a few things.
[Selina moans]
I don't often say
something was worth the wait,
because I hate waiting.
But that? Meow.
I feel the same.
[Selina] Oh, my God.
Your scars.
So many.
You, uh, remember these?
I'd just gotten
my retractable claws.
Cost a small fortune.
They worked.
I had to upgrade my
Kevlar body armor after that.
Uh, sorry?
That was why you
broke it off with me.
-That's when you
found out I was Catwoman.
-A kleptomaniac.
What?
Sorry, you were beautiful,
brilliant and accomplished.
You could do
anything you wanted.
I assumed you did it because
you couldn't stop, and--
And if you can't
control your actions,
you're not quite sane.
Whole.
And I was wrong.
You did change.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
We're in uncharted territory.
Since you're not
leaving town,
maybe we should
go to my place.
Wayne Manor?
Better.
Huh?
Whoa... [groans]
You did it.
You actually did it.
Alfred, he did it!
Hi, Selina. Dick Grayson.
Pleasure.
Ms. Kyle, I've taken
the liberty to prepare tea
with assorted biscuits.
So everyone knows who I am?
Just us and Damian,
not Gordon.
-Who's Damian?
-Robin, his... son.
[chuckles] You two
are gonna have so much fun.
Hmm.
[loud thudding]
[whip cracks]
[freeze gun firing]
[blows thudding]
-[screams]
-[grunting]
[groans]
[grunts and groans]
-[Catwoman grunts]
-[groans]
[screams]
[groans]
-[groans]
-[claws protract]
[steam hissing]
[yawns] Morning, hon.
Mwah.
Pardon me. Ah.
Oh, is that coffee?
Mmm.
We do have unclaimed coffee.
Yours is better.
Look at this.
I'll even pay.
Okay, you pay.
After we catch Hush.
Who's disappeared.
Maybe he heard about your hot,
ferocious new partner,
or died setting a bear trap
for you. Either way...
You go. Take the jet.
I have to be here.
You won't always.
You know that, right?
Dick will take over one day.
Isn't that what you've been
grooming him for?
He's not ready.
And you were?
I'm not asking you to retire,
Bruce. I'm asking you to spend
some time away from this.
With me.
[sighs]
-If we were to do this,
we'd have--
-[squeals with glee]
[Bruce] Mmm.
[Alfred] I do apologize, sir.
It's Commissioner Gordon.
What is it, Jim?
Two minutes ago,
a silent alarm was tripped
at a medical practice.
The office belongs
to that doctor
Hush killed at the opera.
Thomas Elliot.
Yeah.
Thought you'd want to know.
-Thank you.
-[cell phone beeps]
There's been a break-in
at Thomas' practice.
Ah. You know, maybe this
is something that Batman
needs to do alone.
This shouldn't take long.
[Gordon] What a mess.
Professional job.
No fingerprints. No DNA
on any of the rifled papers.
[Gordon] Not a robbery.
Look at all this
fencible crap.
What were they after?
Information.
Glioblastoma multiforme
brain tumor.
Nearly inoperable.
Well, that doesn't sound good.
It isn't. For him.
But it may be for us.
You up for a trip to Arkham?
Oh, joy.
[cell phone beeps]
Professor,
it's time to pay
our respects.
Going on patrol, Alfred.
Can you man the comms?
Of course, Master Dick.
Well, I'm not sitting around
doing nothing.
Mind if I tag along?
Hop in.
But I'm driving.
So, you guys used to do this
every night?
Pretty much.
Do you mind if I ask you
a personal question?
You can ask.
How is it dating the man
who is Batman?
It's weird.
Complicated.
Incredible.
The only drawback
is he just won't shut up
about his feelings.
[chuckles]
Good one.
[police dispatcher]
71 Charlie.
Report of a person
breaking the lock
on the Gotham Cemetery gate.
Suspect believed to be
inside the grounds.
It's like Halloween.
Everything but
the Great Pumpkin.
Catwoman, over here.
Wait, I've been here before.
So have you.
-But why would someone--
-Nightwing!
[cackles]
[grunts]
[laughs]
[sighs]
[Catwoman groans]
[grunting]
[yells]
[strains]
Have a face full of fear!
[groans]
-[grunts]
-[Catwoman groans]
[grunts]
[pants]
-[laughs demonically]
-[birds cawing]
No! Get away!
[both grunt]
[breathes heavily]
[grunts]
[Scarecrow] Hold still.
[demonic]
This will sting a bit.
[cackles, grunts]
[whip cracks]
Mmm.
Scaredy-cat wants to play.
[grunting]
-How?
-Nose plugs.
Have you smelled
yourself lately?
[grunting]
[Scarecrow groans]
[whip cracks]
No, he'll kill me!
I cannot fail.
-[Catwoman grunts]
-[groans]
Sure you can. Ass.
[groaning]
[sighs]
[gasps]
[distorted growling]
[groans] Stay back!
Nightwing, it's Selina!
Stop fighting me!
[groans]
[groans weakly]
[strains]
[shivers]
Get me to the car.
[groans]
[breathing heavily]
Alfred, are you listening?
I am.
I shall remote pilot
the Batmobile to the Batcave
whilst you secure Scarecrow.
[engine roars]
-[gasps]
-[thuds]
[groans]
[gasps]
[grunts]
-[groaning loudly]
-[Hush] Now, now.
Wouldn't wanna make it
too easy.
[device beeps]
So you finally
figured it out?
I was getting bored.
This is nuts.
How's the Riddler involved?
He's been locked in here.
When I saw the name
Arthur Wynne in
Thomas Elliot's files,
I knew he was more
than a bit player.
Okay, I'll bite,
who's Arthur Wynne?
Inventor of
the crossword puzzle?
[scoffs] Cretin.
It was the name you used when
visiting Dr. Thomas Elliot
for your brain tumor.
[groans]
That useless incompetent!
Supposed to be so brilliant.
He was the only doctor
who'd operate on me.
After the surgery failed,
he told me to get
my affairs in order.
But I refused to let that
be the end of me.
No, no, no,
I found another way.
A Lazarus Pit.
[Riddler] All it took
was a few bribes
and I was able to dip myself
in its healing waters.
In that moment,
I saw everything,
knew everything,
including the answer to my
most frustrating riddle...
who is the Batman?
[screaming in agony]
It was so obvious, right
in front of me the whole time.
In a flash of inspiration,
I saw a way to destroy you
and get revenge on
the criminal swine who
disrespected me in the past.
I needed a new persona.
My true identity
had to be kept hush, hush.
One by one,
I convinced, cajoled,
and compelled the others
to play their part...
and do my bidding.
You see, Batman,
this is my game
and everyone follows my rules.
Even you.
That's some fancy monologuing
for a guy in cuffs.
Batman caught you.
Oh, woe is me. Foiled again.
Time for a riddle, I suppose.
Riddle me this,
Commissioner Gordon...
who is Batman?
Jesus.
[gurgles]
[Riddler on device]
Oh, you shouldn't
have done that.
I was using it to control him.
Shit, Clayface!
Finally, I'm free.
[grunts]
[inmates clamoring]
[laughs maliciously]
All right, get him!
[inmate] Yeah, kill him!
[inmates yelling indistinctly]
Ooh, dinner and a show.
-[tray clatters]
-This place isn't all bad.
[laughs maniacally]
[Joker cackling]
[Joker shouts indistinctly]
[Clayface groaning]
[inmate] Yeah!
-[inmates cheering]
-You're seeing
another villain already?
I thought we had
something special.
Shut up, freak!
"Freak"? Batsy,
are you going to let him
talk to me that way?
[inmate] Get him, Clayface!
Oh, it is so like you
not to defend me.
[grumbles] How many others
were there? No, don't tell me!
[Joker sobs]
I guess the joke's on me.
And scene.
[Clayface growls]
[yells]
[chuckles]
Way not to die, Batsy.
Gordon! As usual,
you're laying there
with your thumb up your ass.
Do something, man!
[inmates jeering]
[Joker chuckles]
-[gunshots]
-[inmate] Yeah!
-[Joker] Bullseye!
-[grumbling]
[Joker cackling]
[gun clicks]
[inmates cheering]
[muffled thudding]
[Clayface screaming]
[Joker] Now you're just
raining on my parade.
[Clayface grunts]
[water releasing]
[Joker] Oh, no! [cackles]
[Clayface screams]
-[coughing]
-[Joker] Oh!
[breathing heavily]
Anyone got a mint?
[Joker cackles]
[Riddler on device]
Seems you're still playing
catch-up, Batman.
Let's end this, Hush.
Agreed, but you come to me.
You see, I went
to the graveyard
to catch a bat
but was off by a letter.
Toodles.
-[device beeps]
-What did that mean?
[metal rattling]
[gasps]
Ah, admiring my beauty mark?
The damage to you
may be more severe.
Batman will find you.
Of course he will.
Within seconds, he'll have
dissembled the device
I used to turn Clayface
into my doppelganger.
He'll then know the effective
range is ten miles,
and search that radius.
Which means...
-we better get started.
-[device beeps]
Batman will then
contact Alfred to confirm
you're missing.
[straining]
Batman will come alone.
He'll deduce I've prepared
a place for our showdown.
He'll compile a list of every
factory and warehouse
within the ten-mile radius,
of which there are 62.
He'll winnow that list to 14,
too many to search one-by-one.
[strains] Shut up! Shut up!
Since I've left
no other tools,
Batman will revisit
the name, Arthur Wynne,
and check the names
of the 14 places
to find that only one
is an anagram
for "Arthur Wynne."
"New Thurnary."
Even allowing for traffic,
he should be here any minute.
Screw you!
-No time.
-[straining]
[Riddler] Riddle me this.
"The less of me you have,
the more I am worth.
What am I?"
Answer?
A friend.
I'm going to kill you.
You're not going anywhere
except down.
-[device beeps]
-[machine whirring]
[screams]
[groans]
[metal creaking]
[grunts]
What's a bat to do?
-[straining]
-[claws grating metal]
-[grunts]
-[Catwoman gasps]
[strains]
The briefest of reprieves,
I assure you.
Ha!
[grunts]
Ha!
[grunts]
[grunts and groans]
[Riddler groans]
[groans]
-[Riddler grunts]
-[groans]
-[Riddler cackles]
-[groaning]
[groans]
Tonight, I'll show them all
by doing
what none of them could,
killing the Batman!
-[Riddler grunts]
-[groans]
[grunts]
Can you feel it, Bruce?
Can you feel it all
slipping away?
[grunting]
[straining and grunting]
What do you think of me now?
-[groans]
-[bone crunches]
You talk too much.
[scoffs and cackles]
[both grunting]
[yells]
I repeat,
what do you think of me now?
That you're the same
insecure C-lister you were
before you went
into the Lazarus Pit.
Big talk from a dead man!
-[grunting]
-[Batman] You tell riddles
a fifth grader could solve
-and you call yourself
the Riddler.
-[groans in frustration]
The sheer lack of imagination
is staggering.
[pants] You take that back!
A one-gimmick hack.
The joke of the underworld.
Damn you. Shut up!
[grunting]
You think you got the best
of Ivy, Joker, and Bane?
Once they find out
Hush was The Riddler...
[Catwoman straining]
-...they'll hunt you down
like a dog.
-[grunts]
It won't be pretty.
[high-pitched] I'm not
scared of them anymore!
I'll kill them just like
I'm going to kill you.
[grunts and groans]
[yells]
-[Riddler gasping]
-The effects of the Pit
don't last forever.
I'm betting even now
you can feel it.
All that strength
and genius slipping away
just when you need it most.
No, no!
-[grunts]
-[claws protract]
[picking lock]
Riddle me this,
who's his own worst enemy?
[yelling]
[groans]
[groans]
-[electricity crackling]
-[machine whirring]
[gasps]
[grunts]
I have you now!
[grunts]
[picking lock]
[cylinders screech]
[loud explosion]
[grunts and groans]
[whirring]
[grunts]
-[whirring intensifies]
-[glass cracking]
[loud explosion]
[grunts and groans]
[shouts]
[Riddler groaning]
-[Riddler yells]
-[screams]
-[Riddler cackles]
-[explosions]
I win! I win!
I win!
[groans]
Nine lives, remember?
Now let's beat the crap
out of this asshole.
[growling]
[all grunting]
[groans]
[screaming]
[loud explosion]
-[groaning]
-[Batman grunting]
[grunts]
[Riddler whimpering]
Ahh! Oh...
[Riddler gasping]
[screaming]
[straining]
[gasps]
Don't let me die! Please!
Pull me up.
Pull me up!
-Please!
-[straining]
Leave him! [groans]
-[rope creaking]
-Go!
[explosions]
[nervously] Wait!
You're Batman,
you can't let me die!
Screw this shit.
[claws protract]
[grunts]
[screaming]
[explosions]
[explosions continue]
[both grunt]
[both groan]
[Catwoman panting]
He didn't have to die.
What?
He didn't have to die.
You're crazy.
You're absolutely insane.
He killed your friend.
Tried to murder Nightwing.
Hell, he almost killed me
and you're sorry he's dead?
I had to try.
If someone can be saved,
I have to try.
You do, don't you?
It's a compulsion.
You and your goddamn code.
And you'll die because of it,
you know this, right?
Will that make it all better?
Without a code,
I'm no better than them.
I'm such a stupid fool.
I can't believe I let myself
get caught up in this again.
No, I changed!
I would have changed more,
a lot more, for you!
For us!
Selina, I...
But you won't.
Or can't.
[sirens wailing in distance]
Maybe someday.
But not today.
Goodbye, Bruce.
[sirens approaching]
Someday.