[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING] [WHISPERS]
I dare you. [JAZZ PLAYING] I DARE YOU. COME ON, I DARE YOU. I DARE YOU. OKAY.
JOAN, I DON' THINK YOU SHOULD. WHY NOT? WELL, BECAUSE
IT'S ILLEGAL. [TILL DINGS]
YEAH, SO? Woman: S-SO YOU
CAN'T JUST BREAK THE LAW. WHY NOT? WELL, BECAUSE YOU-- YOU JUST CAN'T AC ANY OLD WAY YOU LIKE. IT'S-- IT'S UNCIVILIZED. I DARE YOU. [LAUGHS] Joan:
GOOD AFTERNOON. AND HOW MAY I
HELP YOU, YOUNG LADY? I WOULD LIKE SOME
BENZEDRINE INHALERS FOR MY MIGRAINES,
PLEASE? Pharmacist:
WHO'S YOUR DOCTOR? Joan:
DR. BENNE IN TUXEDO PARK. I GO TO BARNARD,
BUT I STILL GO TO MY
FAMILY DOCTOR BACK HOME. Pharmacist:
AND HOW MANY
DO YOU NEED? OH, THE WHOLE CASE,
PLEASE. WELL, YOU SEEM LIKE
A PRETTY SENSIBLE GIRL. [JAZZ PLAYING] OH, GOD,
THAT TASTES TERRIBLE. OH, IT'S GOOD
FOR YOU, SADIE. DRINK YOUR MEDICINE
LIKE A GOOD GIRL. HELLO? ALLEN, I DARE YOU. OKAY,
DARE ME TO WHAT? BENZEDRINE
MAKES ME SING. PATTON'S 90 MILES
AWAY FROM PARIS. I DON'T THINK LUCIEN AND JACK
ARE GONNA MAKE IT IN TIME
FOR THE LIBERATION. WELL, THEY SHOULD'VE
APPRAISED GENERAL PATTON
OF THEIR PLANS. [LAUGHS] STILL, SAILING A FREIGHTER
ACROSS THE OCEAN, THAT'S REALLY SOMETHING. [ SIGHS ]
IT'S NOT LIKE THEY
RAN AWAY TO JOIN THE WAR. THEY JUS SIMPLY RAN AWAY. WELL, JOANIE, THERE'S STILL
U-BOATS IN THE ATLANTIC. GIVE THEM
A LITTLE BIT OF CREDIT. THERE ARE
OTHER THREATS
FROM BELOW. YOU GUYS,
LISTEN TO THIS. "THERE WAS A FIRE
IN A TRAVELING CIRCUS AND THEY SAVED
THE LIONS, BUT-- THIS IS
A VERY BIG BUT-- THE HIPPOS WERE BOILED
IN THEIR TANKS." [SADIE LAUGHING] "THE HIPPOS WERE BOILED
IN THEIR TANKS." [WHISTLES]
[KNOCKS] THE SAILORS ARE BACK. JACK! I THOUGHT YOU HAD TO SAIL
TO BE A SAILOR. DID YOU MISS US? I SPENT THE ENTIRE
DAY IN MOURNING. WHERE--
WHERE'S MY BLACK VEIL? ORDINARILY WHEN A GOING-AWAY
PARTY IS THROWN IN ONE'S HONOR, IT'S CUSTOMARY FOR ONE
TO ACTUALLY GO AWAY. WE FUCKED UP.
WE GOT KICKED OFF THE SHIP. NO, YOU FUCKED UP. I THOUGHT YOU WERE
DESPERATE TO GET AWAY
FROM DAVE. I AM, I AM.
WE'LL CATCH THE NEXT ONE. YEAH, AND WE'LL SIGN ON
AND WE'LL LEAVE TOMORROW. WELL, DON'T EXPEC ANOTHER GOING-AWAY PARTY. YOU GUYS HAVE HAD
ONE TOO MANY BON VOYAGES WITHOUT ACTUALLY
TAKING A VOYAGE. TOMORROW.
DEFINITELY
TOMORROW. YES, WE ARE DEFINITELY
LEAVING TOMORROW. Sadie: OH, JACK.
MISS ME, JOAN? MM, HOW LONG
IS THIS VOYAGE
GONNA LAST? ONE DAY?
MAYBE TWO? WELL, CAN I AT LEAS BUY YOU A BON VOYAGE DRINK? Joan:
GOOD CHEAP WINE. HOW DARE YOU
CAST ASPERSIONS
ON MY RED WINE. I THOUGHT WE WERE
DOING SOMETHING TONIGHT. I AM DOING SOMETHING.
I'M GETTING LIT. WELL, POUR ONE
FOR ME, WILL YA? SURE. Dave:
GOOD EVENING,
GOOD PEOPLE. OH, GOD. OH, IT'S A MIRACLE. YOU DIDN'T GO. NOW, DAVE,
IT'S NOT LIKE LUCIEN HAS JUST RISEN
FROM THE DEAD. WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE? THAT WAS MY QUESTION. WE, UH, GOT IN
A LITTLE BEEF. WE'RE GONNA
LEAVE TOMORROW. TOMORROW. AND TOMORROW
AND TOMORROW. WELL, I AM DELIGHTED
THAT YOU DIDN'T SHIP OUT. DELIGHTED. YES. WE NEED TO TALK. DAVE, WHAT IS THE POIN OF FIXATING ON LUCIEN
LIKE THIS? THE POINT? [LAUGHING]
NO, COME HERE. LOOK, MAYBE I AM
FIXATING. BUT EVERYONE'S
DRAWN TO HIM. I MEAN, YOU ARE. ADMIT IT. COME ON,
ADMIT IT, ALLEN.
NO, NO, I-- NO, LUCIEN
IS THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY. LU FOUND YOU
AND HE FOUND JACK
AND HE FOUND JOAN, AND LU MADE
THIS WHOLE SCENE HAPPEN BECAUSE OF
THIS AMAZING THING
THAT HE HAS. AND, ANYWAY,
I SAW HIM FIRST. AND I WANTED HIM FIRST. I SAW HIM AT CAMP WEHILO. DID I TELL YOU THAT I WAS
HIS-- HIS CAMP COUNSELOR?
YES. YEAH, SEVERAL TIMES. SO, IT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU
IN THE SLIGHTEST THAT HE USES YOU
TO DO ERRANDS? NOT IF I KEEPS US CLOSE, ALLEN. I WILL DO ANYTHING
TO KEEP US CLOSE. OH, HE'S ALWAYS
BEEN A DEVIL. YOU KNOW,
NAUGHTIEST BOY
IN THE CAMP. I'M GONNA GO FIND HIM. [SIGHS] DON'T YOU THINK
IT'S A LITTLE DRASTIC, SAILING ALL THE WAY TO FRANCE
JUST TO GET AWAY FROM DAVE? IT'S NOT AS DRASTIC
AS WHEN DAVE QUIT TEACHING
TO BECOME
A JANITOR IN NEW YORK
JUST TO BE NEAR ME. I'M NOT HOLDING DAVE UP AS THE STANDARD
OF REASONABLE BEHAVIOR. BUT WHY DO YOU LET HIM
WRITE YOUR FRESHMAN
LIT PAPERS WHEN YOU'RE MORE THAN CAPABLE
OF DISCOURSING ON THE GREA FRESHMAN THEMES? DAVE GETS A KICK
OUT OF DOING IT FOR ME. WHO AM I TO DENY HIM
SOME SIMPLE PLEASURES? BECAUSE DAVE EXPECTS
SOMETHING FROM THE DEAL. THAT, LUCIEN,
IS REASONABLE. HE'S PATHETIC,
HE'S THE IDIOT. HE'S THE HUNCHBACK
OF NOTRE DAM WITHOU THE HUNCH. YES, DAVE IS PATHETIC, BUT HE'S A PERSON,
NOT A LITERARY CONCEIT. THAT'S WHY I GOTTA
GET OUT OF HERE. YOU DO NOT NEED
TO SAIL TO FRANCE.
CHEAP MELODRAMATICS. YOU PRETEND
LIKE YOU'RE RUNNING
AWAY FROM THE PROBLEM, BUT THE TRUTH IS YOU,
LUCIEN, ARE CREATING IT. WELL, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO. IT'S SIMPLE--
STOP USING DAVE. POLITELY PULL HIM ASIDE
AND TELL HIM TO LEAVE
YOU ALONE. CLEAN AND SIMPLE. TAKE CARE OF THIS,
LUCIEN. THESE THEATRICS
ARE BECOMING A REAL BORE. WELL, EXCEPT FOR YOU,
THE AUDIENCE SEEMS ENTERTAINED. AMATEUR THEATRICS. FRESHMAN THEATRICS. DOESN'T EVEN ASPIRE
TO THE SOPHOMORIC. STRICTLY NOWHERE. IF YOU MUST LEAVE, FINE. BUT DO IT SOON, LUCIEN. BEFORE SOMETHING NASTY
HAPPENS HERE. I'M SERIOUS. I'VE GOT 2.75 2.77. ALL RIGHT,
HE BETTER NOT BE GONE. MUST YOU SHIP OU AGAIN TOMORROW? NOW, LUCIEN, UH... I'LL MISS YOU VERY MUCH. I THINK HE KNOWS
HOW YOU FEEL, DAVE. WELL, I'M NEVER SURE
IF I ACCURATELY CONVEY
MY FEELINGS. OKAY, WELL, UH,
I'll SEE YOU LATER, DAVE. WHERE YOU GOIN'? WE'RE JUST TRYING
TO ROUND UP SOME MORE
SCRATCH FOR SOME BOOZE. UM, WE NEED
ABOUT A BUCK. OH, WELL, I'M--
I'M FLUSH. I'LL COVER IT.
HERE. UM, HERE, HERE, HERE.
DAVE, COOL IT,
WE GOT IT. NO, I'M--
I'M COOLING IT, LUCIEN. [PHONE RINGS] IT'S JUST--
IN THE SPIRI OF FRIENDSHIP. Joan:
ALLEN, IT'S YOUR BROTHER. SHIT. JOAN, I WISH
YOU'D TOLD HIM
I WASN'T HERE. COME ON, LET'S
GO GET THE BOOZE. IT'S A LIQUOR STORE, LU. IT'S NOT TIMBUKTU. ALL RIGHT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH THE BOOZE, ALL RIGHT? HURRY BACK. [LAUGHS] NOW, HERE IS
A NICE LITTLE ITEM ABOUT A CONFLAGRATION
IN A TRAVELING CIRCUS. "THE FIREFIGHTERS MANAGED
TO SAVE THE LIONS, BUT THE HIPPOS
WERE BOILED IN THEIR TANKS." WHO SAYS WE AREN' MAKING SACRIFICES
ON THE HOME FRONT? YES. "THE HIPPOS WERE BOILED
IN THEIR TANKS." AWFULLY RANK. MY EMPATHY IS BOTTOMLESS
FOR THE POOR HIPPOPOTAMUS. TOUCHE. IT IS TOO BAD
THAT YOU ARE NOT A MAN. AW, BILL,
NOBODY'S PERFECT. BOTTOMS UP. I CAN'T THINK OF ANYONE
EXCEPT FOR YOU. YOU'VE RUINED ME. NO, DAVE.
YOU RUINED YOURSELF. NO, I DID EVERYTHING
THAT YOU ASKED ME
TO DO, LUCIEN. YOU ENCOURAGED ME. NOW I'M DISCOURAGING YOU. I'M NEVER GONNA BE
WHAT YOU WANT. OH, NO. NO, BUT YOU ARE. YOU ARE, YOU'RE
EXACTLY WHAT I-- DAVE, I'M NOT A QUEER,
ALL RIGHT? FIND SOMEONE ELSE. BUT I FOUND YOU. YOU'VE BEEN TALKING
TO BILL, HAVEN'T YOU? THIS DOESN'T HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH BILL. I LIKE YOU, I REALLY DO. I JUST DON'T LIKE YOU
LIKE THAT. YOU CAN-- YOU CAN--
YOU CAN HANG OU WITH BILL AND YOU CAN HANG OU WITH ALLEN, BUT-- BUT IF I WANNA
HANG OUT WITH YOU, THEN I'VE GOTTA DO
ALL KINDS OF SHIT. I'VE GOTTA EARN YOUR
FUCKING FAVORS, LUCIEN. I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT. LOOK, I DON'T-- STOP, DAVE! Dave:
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU! LUCIEN, LUCIEN. LUCIEN, LOVE ME. LOVE ME. [KEYS CLACKING]
[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] LUCIEN! OH, GOD. WHAT HAPPENED? I KILLED DAVE. WHAT? WHAT? I STABBED HIM. WE WENT TO THE PARK
TO TALK, AND I... WANTED TO GET HIM
TO STOP OBSESSING. AND HE KISSED ME,
AND HE WOULDN'T STOP. THEN HE TRIED TO FUCK ME,
AND HE WOULDN'T STOP. EVEN AFTER
I STABBED HIM,
HE WOULDN'T STOP. I ROLLED HIS BODY
INTO THE-- INTO
THE HUDSON. THEN I SUNK HIM. I SUNK DAVE. I GUESS I SHOULD'VE
STAYED HERE. THEY'LL PROBABLY GIVE ME
THE CHAIR FOR THIS, HUH? DON'T BE ABSURD. THEY DON'T FRY
FRESHMAN LITERATURE STUDENTS. YOU NEED TO CALL
YOUR MOTHER AND ASK HER
FOR SOME MONEY AND GET A LAWYER
AND TURN YOURSELF IN. GOD DAMN IT, LUCIEN. I SAVED
HIS CIGARETTES. YOU WAN THE LAST ONE? OH, BILL. I THOUGHT THIS
WAS GOING TO END BADLY. [PIANO PLAYS
MELANCHOLIC PIECE] [GRUNTING] [FLUSHES] [WHISTLE TOOTS] [TOOT] [TOOT] ONE FOR THE ROAD. [CLICK] BULL'S-EYE. WHERE IS THE BROOD? THE BROOD IS OUT PLAYING
WITH THE NEIGHBORHOOD
URCHINS. SO, DO THEY HAVE RUINS
DOWN IN GUATEMALA? IT'S ALL RUINS. OR IT ALL WILL BE,
GIVEN ENOUGH TIME. AH. JUS LIKE PEOPLE. YES. BUT PEOPLE
DECAY MORE PROMPTLY
THAN MAYAN TEMPLES. I TOLD LEE
THAT I WOULD MEET HIM
DOWN AT THE STATION. AND WHA DOES YOUR YOUNG MAN
MAKE OF THE MAYANS? WELL, I HAVE YET TO INQUIRE
ABOUT HIS PREFERENCE
IN LOST CIVILIZATIONS. AH, BU HE MUST LIKE RUINS. [CHUCKLES] YES. HE LIKES ME
TOLERABLY ENOUGH. WE HAVE REACHED
AN ACCOMMODATION. WELL,
THAT MUST BE NICE WHEN SEX
CAN BE SO TOLERABLY
ACCOMMODATED. YOU HAVE A NICE
VACATION, DEAR. YOU, TOO. BUT I'M NOT GOING
ANYWHERE. REMEMBER? A VACATION FROM ME. STAYING BEHIND
IS NOT A VACATION. ENVY AND RESENTMENT,
JOANIE, IS ONLY POSSIBLE BECAUSE YOU CANNOT SEE
YOUR OWN SPACE-TIME
LOCATION. WILLIAM, I SEE
MY SPACE-TIME LOCATION, AND I AM ANGRY ABOU BEING LEFT BEHIND. I THOUGHT YOU SAID
LUCIEN AND ALLEN WERE
DRIVING DOWN TO VISIT. WELL, IF YOU
REALLY THOUGHT SO, YOU'D STAY TO SEE
YOUR OLDEST FRIENDS,
WOULDN'T YOU? WELL. VERY TEMPTING...
BUT... BUT OTHER ACTIVITIES
ARE MORE TEMPTING. GOOD-BYE, DEAR. [STREET MUSIC
PLAYS DISTANTLY] WELL. GOOD-BYE,
LITTLE BEASTS. [PIANO PLAYS
MELANCHOLIC PIECE] [ORCHESTRA COMES IN] [CHICKEN CLUCKING] DID YOU SEE
THE FLOCK OF VULTURES? NOPE. A FLOCK OF VULTURES. A BROOD OF VULTURES. A BROOD
OF BROODING VULTURES. ONE MUST BE
VERY CAREFUL TO CALL A PREDATOR
BY ITS PROPER PLURAL,
DON'T YOU THINK, LEE? WHO CARES? YEAH. [BIRD SQUAWKS] JOAN!
GUYS! HI! HI! HOW ARE YOU? AHHH...
OH, GOD! IT'S SO GREA TO SEE YOU. OH, I HAVEN' SEEN YOU IN SO LONG,
YOU GUYS. AND, YOU--
I HAVEN'T SEEN, UH,
YOU SINCE... SINCE, UH...PRISON. PRISON.
RIGHT. WHERE'S BILL? BILL'S IN, UH, GUATEMALA
WITH HIS BOYFRIEND. GUATEMALA? YEAH. IT'S RIDICULOUS, HUH?
SO WE MISSED
WILLY? HE JUST, UH,
HE JUST SPLIT? WELL, CONSIDER
YOURSELVES LUCKY. BILL'S BEEN ACTING
LIKE A SCHOOLGIRL
IN LOVE. WHAT A FAGGY DRAG. WE ONLY HAVE 3,
4 DAYS TOPS, BEFORE WE HAVE
TO GET BACK
TO THE CITY. WHY ARE YOU
LEAVING SO SOON? AH. I HAVE TO GET BACK
TO WORK ON MONDAY... AS THE NEWLY APPOINTED
JUNIOR EDITOR OF THE UNITED PRESS
INTERNATIONAL. A FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT. THAT'S RIGHT.
A CORRESPONDEN IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY. HOW UTTERLY DASHING.
THANK YOU. SO, LUCIEN, ARE YOU
COMPLETELY REHABILITATED? Allen: JOAN,
I WROTE BILL
WE WERE COMING. I DON'T UNDERSTAND
HOW HE COULD JUST SPLIT. YOU KNOW WHAT?
FORGET ABOUT BILL, 'CAUSE WE ARE
GONNA HAVE KICKS. HEY, JULIE. JULIE, THIS
IS LUCIEN. HEY, KIDDO.
HOW ABOU A KISS? I COLLEC KISSES FROM SWEE LITTLE GIRLS. THANK YOU
VERY MUCH. HI THERE.
I'M ALLEN.
I MET YOU BOTH WHEN YOU WERE, UH,
VERY, VERY LITTLE. IT WAS
BACK IN TEXAS.
HUH? MMM. [ALLEN AND JOAN CHUCKLE] DO YOU LIKE
MY DRESS? OH...WHAT A VERY,
VERY, VERY PRETTY
GREEN DRESS. IT'S PINK! IT IS PINK!
WHAT A PRETTY
PINK DRESS. HOW PRETTY? TOO, TOO PRETTY.
YOU AND YOUR PINK DRESS
ARE JUST TOO, TOO PRETTY. JUST LIKE
YOUR MOM. SHE'S GONNA GIVE YOU
SOME COMPETITION, JOAN.
[GIGGLES] YEAH. I'M OU OF THE RUNNING. [SIGHS HEAVILY] HUH. SO, UH...HOW ARE YOU? HOW AM I? I LIVE
IN A MEXICAN SLUM. MY HUSBAND HAS RUN OFF
WITH ANOTHER MAN. AND I'VE BEEN TOO BUSY
WITH MY CHILDREN TO GO DOWN TO THE FARMACIA
AND REFILL MY DEXEDRINA. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU
TO A FRIEND. BENNY, JOAN. JOAN, BENNY. BENNY! OHH! GOD. THANK YOU. I WOULD LIKE
TO PROPOSE A TOAST... ABSOLUTELY.
TO... MY... 2 FAVORITE BOYFRIENDS. SALUD. AH. WELL, THIS
IS GONNA BE KICKS.
WHAT SHOULD WE DO? I HAVE A FRIEND WITH
A BAR DOWN THE STREET. WE COULD GO
FOR FREE DRINKS. PERFECT.
YEAH? I HAVE TO GE A BABY-SITTER, THOUGH. WELL...I'LL--I'LL--
I'LL WATCH THE KIDS. I'D LIKE
TO STAY AND WASH OFF
SOME OF THIS ROAD GRIME. YEAH? IT'S MY PLEASURE. NOT TOO MUCH
PLEASURE, AL. EASY
ON THE PEDERASTY. YEAH, YEAH.
NOT TO WORRY, LU. I LACK YOUR GENIUS
FOR THE PERVERSE. DRUGS
ARE REALLY CHEAP. BILL CAN GE HIS MORFINA
OVER THE COUNTER. HE CAN
CARRY HIS GUNS
ANYWHERE HE WANTS, AND, UH,
HE CAN SHOOT THEM
IN THE HOUSE. THAT'S WHAT WILLY LIKES.
WHAT ABOUT YOU? WHAT ABOUT ME? WHAT DO YOU LIKE? HEH. I HAVE NO THOUGHT ABOUT THA FOR A WHILE. [MUSIC AND SINGING] I LOVE MY KIDS. AND I LOVE... THE OLD MAN. THAT'S THE PROPER SIDE
OF YOUR LIFE. I WANT TO HEAR ABOU THE IMPROPER SIDE. I LIKE TO HIT THE LUSH. IT'S A LOVE-HATE
THING-- LIKING THINGS
THAT ARE EVIL. BUT YOU KNOW
ALL ABOUT THAT. HOW'S THAT? DAVE. DO YOU THINK
ABOUT HIM? IT? DO YOU MEAN
DO I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT? HE TRIED TO FUCK ME.
AND HE FUCKED ME. 2 YEARS IN ELMIRA. WELL, DAVE'S REALLY
FUCKED. HE'S DEAD. I PAID FOR IT. 2 YEARS? COULD'VE BEEN
A LOT WORSE. IT'S MORE THAN THAT. WHAT? I LOST YOU. OH, I THINK IT'S TIME
TO PUT A SAD SONG
ON THE JUKEBOX. TELL ME ABOU YOUR GIRLFRIEND. THERE'S NOTHIN' TO TELL.
SHE'S JUST A GIRL. WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME
ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIENDS? I DON'T HAVE
ANY BOYFRIENDS. WILLY HAS A BOYFRIEND. YES, HE DOES. BUT I AM
DISGUSTINGLY LOYAL. Man: JOAN. EXCUSE ME. YOU FEEL LIKE GOING
UPSTAIRS TO MY APARTMEN FOR A QUIET DRINK? YOU CAN BRING
YOUR FRIEND. BILL HAS HIS
MEN FRIENDS. I DON'T SEE
WHY YOU SHOULDN' HAVE YOURS. I THINK THAT'S
BETWEEN BILL
AND HIS MEN. REMEMBER THIS ONE? HUG ME SLUG ME SAY YOU'LL NEVER-- WHAT, FUCK ME? [LAUGHS] FUCK ME
FUCK ME AS CUPID
FUCK ME Both: STRINGS HIS BOW Both: USE ME ABUSE ME SAY YOU'LL
NEVER CHOOSE ME FIRE AN ARROW
AT MY HEART AND SAY
IT'S TIME TO GO [STRUMS GUITAR] [CHUCKLES] WHAT THE HELL
KIND OF A SONG IS THAT? THAT IS A LOVE SONG. LUCIEN CAN WRITE
A SONG ABOUT ANYTHING. OH, REALLY? WELL, THEN WHY DON'T YOU SING US
A VOLCANO SONG? A VOLCANO SONG.
YEAH. YEAH. AT...PARICUTIN, HALFWAY TO GUADALAJARA. A REAL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE, HOT LAVA VOLCANO.
IS THAT IT? YEAH. "WHEN IT ERUPTED BACK IN '47,
IT WIPED OUT A WHOLE TOWN." SAYS HERE
THE ONLY THING
THAT WAS LEFT WAS THE CHURCH STEEPLE. THEY THINK THE VOLCANO
MIGHT ERUPT AGAIN. LET ME SEE THAT. HOT DAMN. SHOULD WE GO? DO WE DARE? YES. I NEED SOME FIRE
AND BRIMSTONE IN MY LIFE. I DON'T THINK
THAT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA. THEY'RE PROBABLY
EVACUATING THE AREA. HUH. WELL,
I PERSONALLY...
LOVE BAD IDEAS. BABY? YES. BAD IDEAS
ARE RARELY BORING. Lucien:
ADIOS, GENTLEMEN. BYE.
YEAH. HEY.
HEY. DO YOU, UH...
DO YOU NEED ANYTHING? LIKE, UH... LIKE WHAT? LIKE A BLANKET. NO. I'VE, UH...
GOT MY...BEDROLL. OH. OK. I'LL SEE YOU
TOMORROW. OK. OK. GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT. WE'LL, UH...LEAVE EARLY...
FOR THE VOLCANO. ALL RIGHT?
YES. [BOUNCY LATIN MUSIC PLAYS] Allen: YOU THINK
THE KIDS'LL BE OK? Joan: SURE,
THEY WILL. THEY'LL SURVIVE
WITHOUT ME. WE COULD'VE
BROUGHT 'EM ALONG.
I DON'T MIND. Lucien: MAN,
THEY WERE WAILING. WOW. WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME? I NEED THIS VACATION.
I MIGHT START SCREAMING
MY HEAD OFF. WHY DOES BILL GE TO HAVE ALL THE FUN? I'M ENTITLED TO SING
THE BODY ELECTRIC. MMM. "THE ARMIES
OF THOSE I LOVE
ENGIRTH ME, "AND I ENGIRTH THEM... Allen and Joan:
"AND CHARGE THEM FULL WITH THE CHARGE
OF THE SOUL." ALLEN, CARE
FOR A COCKTAIL? SHIT. THE FEDERALES. Lucien: WHAT,
YOU MEAN THE MAN? SI. EL HOMBRE. UH, THEY'RE...
WAVING ME OVER. WELL, THEN PULL OVER. ALL RIGHT.
PULLING OVER, MY DEAR. [BIRD CALLS] Joan:
BUENOS DIAS, SEORES. LOS PAPELES. YOU WANT A DRINK? [BOTTLE SHATTERS] [SPEAKING SPANISH] THAT'S A WASTE. ESTA INFRINGIENDO
LA LEY, SEORES. NOS VA A TENER
QUE ACOMPAAR. WHAT--WHAT DO--
WHAT DO THEY WANT? THEY WANT MONEY. AH. I HAVE MONEY. THERE YOU GO. GRACIAS. EH? [SPEAKING SPANISH] Joan: GIVE HIM
YOUR CASH. Allen: I DON'T HAVE
THAT MUCH ON ME. UH, UH...
YOU WANT MY CLOTHES? Joan: DON'T GIVE HIM
YOUR CLOTHES.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. LUCIEN, DON'T GIVE HIM
YOUR CLOTHES. NO, YOU'LL LIKE IT.
YOU'LL LOOK GOOD IN IT. THERE YOU GO.
ESTA LOCO. ESTE CABRON
IS CRAZY? NO, NO, NO.
TAKE THAT.
SI, LOCO. LOCO.
YOU WANT MY SHOES? [SPEAKING SPANISH] LOCO?
NEW YORK CITY SHOES? LUCIEN,
I DON'T THINK
HE GETS IT. YOU WAN THE WHOLE HIP OUTFIT.
IS THAT RIGHT? HOLD ON ONE SECOND. WAIT. NO, NO. Lucien: THAT'S GOOD.
Joan: OHHH... Allen: I DON'T THINK
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. Lucien: VOILA. [SPEAKING SPANISH] [CHUCKLES] GET IN THE CAR. [POLICE CAR
MOTOR STARTS] WHAT? ADIOS. [CHURCH BELL CHIMING] [INDISTINCT CHATTER] CHRIST, IT'S HOT. MAYBE WE SHOULD
TAKE A SIESTA. [DISTANT THUNDER] OH, JESUS. GOD! CAN'T YOU-- CAN'T YOU EVER KEEP
YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF? I THOUGH A LITTLE COMPANIONSHIP
MIGHT BE NICE. I AGREED TO SLEEP
WITH YOU TWICE A WEEK. I'VE ALREADY
SLEPT WITH YOU TWICE...
THIS WEEK. A DEAL IS A DE--
A DEAL. [SIGHS] NO NEED TO BE SMALL
ABOUT THIS. LET'S JUST TRY
AND KEEP THINGS
ON A FRIENDLY BASIS. MAYBE TOMORROW. IF YOU KEEP
YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF IN THE MEANTIME. WATER, WATER
EVERYWHERE, AND NOT A DROP
TO DRINK. DRINK THIS. WHY DIDN'T WE EVER
GET TOGETHER? YOU KNOW,
BEFORE ALL THE... BEFORE... WELL, BEFORE
THE WHOLE DAVE THING. AH, THE WHOLE DAVE THING. YEAH. EVERYONE SPEN THAT WHOLE SUMMER TALKING ABOU AND ANALYZING THAT "WHOLE DAVE THING." SO THAT'S WHY
YOU DIDN'T DIG ME? [CHUCKLES] I DIDN'T DIG YOU
BECAUSE YOU WENT TO PRISON BEFORE I GOT A CHANCE
TO DO ANY DIGGING. I'M HERE NOW. OK. OK. WHOA. OHHH...
[CLEARS THROAT] SCRATCH A BOHEMIAN,
AND YOU GOT A BOY SCOUT. NOT THAT I'M A BOHEMIAN
OR A BOY SCOUT, BUT... STILL...I STILL SORT OF
HAVE THESE TRUE-BLUE
FEELINGS FOR WILLY. HMMPH. OH, COME ON.
HE'S STILL MY FRIEND. [JOAN SNICKERS] HEY! SMILE. COME HERE. [PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYS] [BIRD CHIRPS] [VARIOUS ANIMAL CALLS] FUCKING MEXICO. IT'S A BEAT PLACE. YES, IT IS. I'VE HAD MY FILL. IF YOU'RE SO UNHAPPY,
THEN LEAVE... WITH ME. WITH US. BILL CAN'T GO
BACK TO THE STATES. HE HAD THAT HEROIN
CONVICTION. YOU'RE CLEAN. I'M POLLUTED. YOUR RECORD'S CLEAN.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY. I CAN'T LEAVE BILL. I LEFT BILL. BILL WAS SUCKING ME DRY.
BILL IS A PSYCHIC VAMPIRE. THAT'S HIS PHRASE. WHY DO YOU
STAY WITH HIM? BILL HAS GREAT POTENTIAL. HE DOESN'T WRITE
ANYTHING EXCEPT LETTERS. ALLEN, DID YOU JUS COME DOWN HERE TO GIVE
ADVICE TO THE LOVELORN? WHY NOT?
WHO ISN'T LOVELORN? LUCIEN HAS
GREAT POTENTIAL. YEAH. HE DID... BEFORE HE STABBED
DAVE TO DEATH. LUCIEN IS
A TENDER SPIRIT... SLIGHTLY ARROGANT,
SLIGHTLY HUMBLE... SLIGHTLY BEAUTIFUL,
SLIGHTLY DARING,
SLIGHTLY BRILLIANT. I TRY TO SEE THE WORLD
THROUGH LUCIEN'S EYES. I DREAM...
ABOUT HIM. REAL...SLEEPY-TIME,
I-CAN'T-CONTROL-
MY-SUBCONSCIOUS... DREAMS. IF HE HAD ANY IDEA
OF THE MADNESS... WENT ON IN MY HEAD... HE WOULD DETEST ME
AS A PSYCHIC VAMPIRE,
AS MY PHRASE. AND I KNOW
THAT IT'S ALL TOO HOPELESS
EVEN TO BE HOPELESS LOVE. I'M NOT DAVE. BUT LUCIEN
IS MY BEST FRIEND. ALL THE SAME. YEAH...
WE ARE THE LOVELORN. [CHUCKLES] [SIGHS] HA HA HA. DONDE ESTAN
TU PADRES? MAS DINERO. [CHUCKLES] Lee: THAT WAS
BRILLIANT. HE'LL SPREAD THE WORD,
AND THE HORDE WILL DESCEND. WELL, NOT ALL OF US
ARE SO STINGY
WITH OUR FAVORS. WE DID MAKE A DEAL. YES, WE DID. AND TONIGH AT MIDNIGHT IT IS THE BEGINNING
OF A NEW WEEK. WAIT UP, LEE. [SPEAKING
SPANISH] SI, SEORITA... [SPEAKING
SPANISH] AH. GRACIAS. WE ARE GOING
THE RIGHT WAY. WHERE'S THE LAVA
AND THE FABLED
FIRE AND BRIMSTONE? WELL, THE VOLCANO
HAS GONE BACK TO SLEEP, BUT IT'S STILL SMOKING. WE CAN, UH,
GO TO THE TOWN IT WIPED OUT LAST TIME. OLD NEWS. Allen: HEY,
THE VOLCANO GOD'S
AT PEACE. BE THANKFUL. HOW UTTERLY
FUCKING BORING. WE NEED TO GE THE VOLCANO GOD
GOOD AND GODDAMN ANGRY. [BEATS OU QUICK RHYTHM] SHALL WE GO
FOR A STROLL? SURE. COME ON,
ALLEN. NO, THANKS. HEY...WATCH OUT FOR,
UH, THE VOLCANO GOD. HE'S, UH, LURKING
IN ALL THAT OLD LAVA. [DISTANT RUMBLING] STOP IT. I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO. WANTED TO WHAT? YOU KNOW. FUCK? YOU HAD
YOUR CHANCE YESTERDAY, AND YOU TURNED
INTO A BOY SCOUT. I'M NOT A BOY SCOUT NOW. EXACTLY. NOT NOW. I DON'T NEED ANOTHER
PERSON IN MY LIFE
TAKING ME FOR GRANTED. [RUMBLING] WOULD YOU KILL ALLEN
IF HE TRIED TO FUCK YOU? ALLEN'S HIP ENOUGH
TO KEEP HIS LOVE FOR ME
UNREQUITED. YEAH, ALLEN'S SMART ENOUGH
NOT TO ACT LIKE DAVE. WHY ARE YOU
SO OBSESSED WITH DAVE? I'M NO OBSESSED WITH DAVE.
I'M JUST CURIOUS. YOU KILLED
AN ASPIRING LOVER. I THINK IT'S
PERVERSELY ATTRACTIVE. WHAT ABOU MY UNREQUITED LOVE
FOR YOU? YOU-- YOU AREN' THE UNREQUITED TYPE,
LUCIEN. [DISTANT RUMBLING] [INHALES] SOME VOLCANO. [DRAMATIC
MUSIC PLAYING] Lucien: WE NEVER EVEN
MADE IT ALL THE WAY
TO THE VOLCANO. WE SHOULD'VE HIKED
UP THE CINDER CONE. WE GOT CLOSE ENOUGH. NO. AL, WE DROVE
ALL THE WAY OUT HERE. WE NEEDED TO MAKE I TO THE TOP. LUCIEN, THERE'S
CLOSE ENOUGH, AND
THERE'S TOO FAR. YOU ALWAYS WAN TO GO TOO FAR. THERE'S WANTING,
AND THEN THERE'S GOING. TUH! HA! [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION] CUANTO? Lucien: MEXICO'S
PRETTY FUCKING
COMPLICATED. Allen: LIKE WHAT? LIKE JOAN. WHAT'S COMPLICATED
ABOUT IT? YOU HAVE
THE HOTS FOR HER. THAT'S AS BASIC
AS IT GETS. THAT'S
FUNDAMENTAL CHEMISTRY. BILL'S WHA MAKES IT COMPLICATED. OH! YOU DON'T SEEM
TO BE ACTING
UNDULY INHIBITED. WHAT THE FUCK
DO YOU KNOW, AL? YOU NEVER COVETED
A BUDDY'S WIFE BEFORE. I HAVE BEEN
IN LOVE SITUATIONS
THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT. IT'S THE SAME THING. I'M JUST TRYING TO THINK
ABOUT WHAT IT'D BE LIKE
IF I STAYED WITH HER. I MEAN, IT'S GREAT NOW,
BUT IF WE'D STAYED
TOGETHER, WOULD IT STAY GREAT?
YOU KNOW? AND THOSE KIDS. WELL, JOAN TAKES CARE
OF THE KIDS. YEAH, WITH BILL'S
ALLOWANCE MONEY. THAT'S LESS
THAN YOU MAKE AT U.P.I. SHE LOVES BILL,
THOUGH. BUT HE'S WORN HER OUT. I GOT A GIRLFRIEND
BACK IN THE CITY
ANYWAY. IT DOESN'T MATTER.
WELL, LU,
WHAT IS THE DEAL? ARE YOU TRYING TO TALK
YOURSELF INTO SOMETHING
OR OUT OF IT? I DON'T KNOW. UH... Lucien: HEY. THERE'S
MY BATHING BEAUTY. YOUR WORN-OU BATHING BEAUTY. JUST WORRIED
ABOUT YOU. THAT'S ALL. DON'T BE BORING. YOU WANT TO GO
FOR A SWIM? YEAH. Joan:
COME ON, ALLEN. MM. GO AHEAD. YOU TOO WORN OUT? [CHUCKLES CRYPTICALLY] [ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING] [SIGHS DEEPLY] STRONG CURRENT. NO. I DIDN'T SAY
YOU COULD DO THAT. SO, WHERE DO YOU THINK
THE PACIFIC IS? I DON'T KNOW.
WE COULD FLOAT... JUST FLOA AND FLOAT AWAY... AND FIND OUT... AND DROWN OUR SORROWS. YOU NEVER KNOW. I'M GONNA STEP OUT. JOAN? JOAN! JOAN! JOAN! Allen: WHA HAPPENED? I DON'T KNOW.
I GOT TIRED,
SO I GOT OUT. SHE WANTED TO FLOW
WITH THE FUCKING CURRENT. JOAN!
CAN SHE SWIM? I DON'T KNOW.
IF SHE WANTS. JOAN? YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE
LEFT HER ALONE! I DIDN'T LEAVE HER.
YOU GOT OUT OF THE
WATER, DIDN'T YOU? I DIDN'T LEAVE HER! JOAN?
[INDISTINCT CHATTER] JOAN! JOAN! FUCK! JOAN! JOAN? WHA ARE YOU DOIN'? WHAT DOES IT LOOK
LIKE I'M DOIN'? I'M STARING
INTO THE ABYSS. HONEY... IF YOU STARE
INTO THE ABYSS
LONG ENOUGH, IT STARES
BACK INTO YOU. OH, IT HAS. [TWIG SNAPS] IT HAS. [INSECTS BUZZING,
NIGHT BIRDS SCREECHING] [FROGS CROAKING] NOTHIN' IS SIMPLE
WITH YOU AND I. WE'RE BOTH DOOMED. HOW AM I DOOMED? DAVE'S GHOST. WHAT'S YOUR DOOM? MAYBE YOU ARE. WHY DON'T YOU COME
BACK TO NEW YORK? COME BACK HOW? YOU CAN COME BACK
WITH US. WITH ME. I CAN'T LEAVE BILL. YOU CAN DO
ANYTHING YOU WANT. WILL YOU KISS ME? STOP. STOP. STOP. WHAT'S THE MATTER? WHY KEEP KISSING? HAVE YOU
RECONSIDERED? SLEEPING WITH YOU? NO. NEW YORK. IT'S NOT REALISTIC. WE'RE BOTH LUCKLESS. I'M FAITHFUL, AND
YOU'RE...TOO FAITHLESS. WHAT ABOUT WILLY? RUNNING OFF
INTO THE JUNGLE WITH ANOTHER
LITTLE BOYFRIEND? THAT'S NO EXACTLY FAITHFUL. WILLY ALWAYS COMES BACK. AND AT THE END
OF THE ROAD... WHAT ABOUT-- WHAT DO WE DO?
WHAT DO-- WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO? THE OLD GANG.
IT'LL BE KICKS. YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE WELL
IN NEW YORK. ARE YOU READY
FOR ME AND MY CHILDREN? ARE YOU READY FOR THAT? ARE YOU? I DON'T KNOW. [SIGHS] [SIGHING]
MMHH... DOES THAT BOTHER YOU? NO. NOT TOO MUCH. YOU SEEMED LIKE... YOU LIKED IT BEFORE. OH-- OH, IT WAS ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S-- WHAT'S
WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS? WHAT ARE YOU
FISHIN' AROUND FOR? NOTHING. I'M JUST TRYIN'
TO BE PERSONABLE... AFFECTIONATE. [SNICKERING]
AFFECTIONATE. SAVE THE AFFECTION
FOR YOUR KIDS. MAYBE... YOUR WIFE
WOULD LIKE SOME, TOO. JOANIE
HAS MY AFFECTION. IF YOU LOVE
YOUR WIFE SO MUCH... THEN WHY ARE YOU
HERE WITH ME? LOVE IS NOT SEX. I NEVER REALIZED
HOW BORING IT IS... TO DRIVE BACK SOMEPLACE... MILE AFTER MILE... JUST TO GET BACK
TO WHERE YOU STARTED FROM. HEY! HEY, YOU. OOH! MMM!
MMM-UHH. WHERE'S
YOUR BROTHER? UPSTAIRS. HE'S UPSTAIRS? IS YOUR DADDY
BACK? NO. HE'S NOT? WILL YOU GE BILLY FOR ME? GO GE YOUR BROTHER. OH, IT'S SO GOOD
TO SEE YOU. ALL THE WAY TO MEXICO,
AND NO WILLY. I THINK
HE'S AVOIDING US. YEAH. WE HAVE THAT IN COMMON. WELL, IT'S, UH,
A LONG WAY BACK
TO THE APPLE. I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE NOT COMIN'
WITH US. [SIGHS] YOU WANNA-- YOU WANNA
GET BACK IN THE CAR? IT'S NOT TOO LATE. GRAB THE KIDS...
JUMP IN YOUR CAR? SURE. JUST, UH... WE COULD JUS LEAVE BILL A NOTE? DEAR BILL,
TAKEN THE KIDS, GONE TO NEW YORK.
ADIOS, MUCHACHO. WHY NOT?
CAR'S RIGHT THERE. I'LL LOAN YOU
A PIECE OF PAPER
FOR THE NOTE. NO. THINK ABOUT NEW YORK. I WILL. PROMISE? ALL THE TIME. Allen: SMILE. [SHUTTER SNAPS] SEE YA. I WOULD SAY...
DRIVE CAREFULLY, BUT IT DOESN' SEEM TO APPLY, SO... DRIVE CARELESSLY.
YOU KNOW...WITHOUT A CARE. [MOODY, MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYS] SHE'S SO FUCKING EXCITING. I TRIED TO GET HER
TO COME BACK. HOW HARD DID YOU TRY? I TRIED. I FUCKING TRIED.
I DID. SHE LOVES BILL. SHE'S GO THOSE 2 KIDS. IT'S NOT LIKE
SHE'S FREE. YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN? YOU WANT ABSOLUTION? STOP AT A FUCKING CHURCH. YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT. I SHOULD'VE
JUST GRABBED HER
AND THOSE KIDS AND THROWN 'EM
IN THE BACKSEAT. SO TURN AROUND. SHE THINKS I'M DOOMED. SHE THINKS I'M DOOMED. WHAT CAN I SAY? HELLO, JOANIE. HELLO. YOU MISSED
ALLEN AND LUCIEN. OH, WHAT A PITY. HOW WAS THEIR VISIT? WE WENT TO THE VOLCANO
IN PARICUTIN. OH. YES. AND HOW WAS YOUR TRIP? EVERYTHING
ABOUT GUATEMALA WAS
NASTY AND UNRELIABLE. AT THE END OF THE ROAD,
THERE WAS ONLY MUD
AND MOSQUITOES... AND A MAD DOCTOR. AND HOW WAS
YOUR PRETTY BOY? LEE WAS PARSIMONIOUS
IN DISPENSING
HIS FAVORS. HE WAS NICE TO PAPA
TWICE A WEEK ONLY BECAUSE I WAS
FOOTING THE BILL. HE WAS FAR MORE
LAWYERLY THAN LUSTFUL. HE CRIED
"BREACH OF CONTRACT" EVERY TIME I ASKED
FOR SOMETHING MORE. I'VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD
YOUR TASTE IN MEN. [CHUCKLES] AND I YOURS. DID YOU PAY THE RENT? WITH WHAT? MY ALLOWANCE
DOES NOT COME IN
UNTIL THE 15th. WELL, THAT MUST CRIMP
YOUR STYLE AS A SUGAR DADDY. PERHAPS YOUR PARAMOUR
THINKS YOU'RE IMPECUNIOUS. CUANTO DINERO TO BE NICE TO PAPA
TWICE A WEEK? I ENJOYED SEEING ALLEN... AND LUCIEN. I ENJOYED I VERY MUCH. ARE YOU... LEAVING ME? SHOULD I? AS YOU LIKE. I MAY... JUST GO
BACK TO NEW YORK. LUCIEN IS A TOURIST. YOU ARE
AN AZTEC PYRAMID... LOCAL COLOR. WHAT ARE YOU? A SCORPION SLITHERING
ACROSS YOUR CRUMBLING STEPS. WE REALLY DO NEED MONEY. WE NEED FOOD. YES. AND GIN. AND GIN. FINE. I WILL SELL A GUN. CHEERS. FUCKING LUCK. NO, OUR LUCK'S
BEEN GOOD. DON'T BE PERVERSE.
ALL RIGHT? NO, THINK ABOUT IT.
NEW YORK, MEXICO CITY,
BACK TO TEXAS? OUR DEAR CHARIOT'S
BEEN FLAWLESS. YEAH, UNTIL NOW. THE KARMIC WHEEL'S
TURNED, MY FRIEND. NO, THE KARMIC WHEEL
HAS STOPPED, AL. IT'S ALL THE SAME THING.
YOU KNOW, AS BILL SAYS, BETTER GET COMFORTABLE
WITH YOUR SPACE-TIME
LOCATION. THIS IS NO MY SPACE-TIME
LOCATION. IT'S FUCKIN'
NOWHERE, MAN. [MARIACHIS SINGING
DISTANTLY] YEAH. YEAH, I REMEMBER
TRYIN' THIS GUN. IT'S A DOG, BILL. YES, WELL, I DON' LIKE IT MUCH, EITHER, BUT IT IS
AN AUTOMATIC, AND IT'S WORTH
400 PESOS. [CHUCKLES]
MAYBE NOT THAT MUCH. BUT I THINK
I KNOW A BUYER. WHY DON'T YOU BRING I OVER TO MY PLACE
TOMORROW NIGHT? THANK YOU, HEARD. IT'S
IN MY SELF-INTEREST,
BILL. YOU NEED
DRINKING MONEY. YES. [CASH REGISTER
RINGS] HOLA.
HOLA. CAN I BUY YOU
A DRINK, SIR? WITH WHAT? CREDIT. BILL...WHY DON'T YOU
SELL THE GUN FIRST AND THEN STAR STANDING ROUNDS? SO, WHA CAN I GET YA? TEQUILA, POR FAVOR. [DRUNKENLY]
ADIOS... MUCHACHOS COMPAEROS ADIOS MUCHACHOS COMPAEROS ADIOS... OHHH... I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU
BACK TONIGHT. LOVE'S LABOR'S LOST. BILL, I DON'T WAN MUCH FROM YOU. I JUST WAN YOUR ARMS AROUND ME
SOMETIMES. [DEEP SIGH] [EXHALES SHARPLY] HERE'S THE KEYS. ALL RIGHT? I'LL SEND YOU BACK
A TRUCK. AND, UM...
HERE'S SOME MONEY. THERE YOU GO.
THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH. ALL RIGHT.
HERE. TAKE IT. IF YOU NEED MORE,
I'LL WIRE IT BACK TO YOU
FROM THE CITY. ALL RIGHT? YOU'RE DOING I AGAIN. DOING WHAT AGAIN? ABANDONING. MAN, DON'T BE A QUEEN. WHO KNOWS HOW LONG
IT'S GONNA TAKE TO FIX
THE DEAR OLD CHARIOT? I GOTTA GE BACK TO MY JOB. ABANDONING. LOOK, MAN, I RECOGNIZE
MY SPACE-TIME LOCATION. I TRULY DO.
IT'S NOT HERE. [HORN HONKS] SEE YOU
BACK IN THE CITY? [CROW CAWS] [TYPING] [AIR PISTOL DISCHARGES] I HAD A STRANGE DREAM
LAST NIGHT. I DREAMT I GAVE BIRTH
TO A LARGE SPIDER. WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE
THAT MEANS? WELL...THE FREUDIAN
INTERPRETATION WOULD BE THAT I WANT TO HAVE SEX
WITH MY FATHER. SAY, BILL,
DOES THE OEDIPAL COMPLEX
GET REVERSED FOR FAGS? [CHUCKLES] WELL, SPEAKING
FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE... I NEVER WANTED
TO FUCK MY FATHER. MMHH. [WHISTLE TOOTS] THE KNIFE SHARPENER'S
HERE. JOANIE, LOOK. AN HONEST-TO-GOODNESS
BOY SCOUT KNIFE. [CHUCKLES] LUCIEN USED TO HAVE
A KNIFE LIKE THAT. HE USED TO OPEN
WINE BOTTLES WITH IT. [WHISTLE TOOTS] I THINK I'LL GO
GET THE KNIFE SHARPENED. [SPEAKING SPANISH] ESTA BIEN, SEOR? SI. [MACHINERY SQUEAKING] [KNIFE GRINDING] Heard: BILL.
COME IN. HELLO, HEARD. HEY. Heard: JOAN. HELLO. Heard: GOOD. I SEE
YOU GOT THE GUN. YES. LEE. HELLO. SO. IS THE BUYER
HERE? DEPENDS ON WHO'S
BUYIN' WHAT. JOANIE, YOU KNOW LEE. BY REPUTATION. LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW
WHERE MARV IS, BUT I GOTTA
GO TEND BAR. DWIGHT, YOU
KNOW MARV, RIGHT? YEAH, SURE THING.
WE WERE STATIONED
IN GERMANY TOGETHER. ALL RIGHT. BILL,
YOU GONNA BE OK? LIKE A PIG
IN A TROUGH. HEARD, YOU GO DOWN
AND TEND TO THE BAR, AND I WILL COME DOWN
WITH YOUR COMMISSION AS SOON AS I HAVE
NEGOTIATED THE SWINDLE. PERFECT. SWINDLE? [DOOR CLOSES] MARV'S A STAND-UP GUY. IT IS A FAIR GUN
FOR A FAIR PRICE. I LIVE MY LIFE
BY THE BOY SCOUT CODE. I KNOW MY GUNS. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
THE BOY SCOUT MOTTO, WISENHEIMER. [CHUCKLES] YES. BE...PREPARED. [SIGHS DISGUSTEDLY] WERE YOU
A BOY SCOUT, LEE? UH, NO, I WAS
NEVER A BOY SCOUT. OH, REALLY? WELL,
THEN BILL HERE COULD TEACH YOU
KNOT TYING. OR WRESTLING HOLDS, IF HE HASN'T ALREADY. DIDN'T YOU TWO BONE UP
ON YOUR WILDERNESS LORE DOWN THERE IN THE JUNGLE? THE JUNGLE
WAS FUCKING GHASTLY. UH, I DON'T UNDERSTAND. THE-- THE JUNGLE
WAS GHASTLY, OR THE FUCKING
WAS GHASTLY...OR BOTH? JOANIE. I LOVE TRAVEL STORIES, ESPECIALLY GHASTLY
FUCKING ONES. Dwight: YOU'VE GO SOME MOUTH ON YOU,
MRS. BURROUGHS. OH, DWIGHT, NOT COMPARED
TO SOME OTHER MOUTHS. AND WHERE THOSE MOUTHS
HAVE BEEN. [SIGHS] WELL. [POURS DRINK] WELL. I AM SO... BORED. WELL, THEN, MY DEAR... WHY DON'T WE
SHOW THE BOYS HERE OUR WILLIAM TELL ACT? OK, BILL. LET'S SHOW THEM
OUR LITTLE PARLOR TRICK,
SHALL WE? HA HA HA HA HA! [CHUCKLES] I DARE YOU. [BODY FALLS, GLASS CLATTERS] JOANIE! Lee: I'LL, UH, GO GE THAT MEDICAL STUDEN WHO LIVES ON THE ROOF. Dwight:
I'LL CALL
AN AMBULANCE. JOANIE!
SHE'S GONNA BE FINE! COME ON. COME ON. [BREATHING FRANTICALLY] [SOBS] HELP! [SOBBING] OH...GOD. COME ON. SIT UP. HEY, YOU. COME ON. [SOBBING] AAAHHH! [INDISTINCT UTTERINGS] [ELEVATOR DINGS] [TYPEWRITERS CLACKING] [CHATTER] HEY, CARR.
YEAH? WHAT WAS THE NAME
OF THAT FRIEND OF YOURS DOWN IN MEXICO?
THE ONE YOU JUST VISITED? BURROUGHS. WHY? BAD NEWS, I THINK. THIS JUST CAME
OVER THE WIRE. Joanie, softly:
I DARE YOU. [MUSIC PLAYING] [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]