You see, it's these
factors, ladies and gentlemen,
that lead to
a widespread shortage
of clean drinking water
in the region,
leaving thousands
upon thousands
of diseased, dying people.
Your support
may be the last
chance we have
of ending this suffering.
We are not
gonna miss it.
Not on my watch!
I remember when a dear
friend of mine, Sam atwell,
when he first approached me
about joining this mission,
and it was his
determination
that sparked my passion
to make a difference.
His actions
have saved lives,
his message...
well, it's brought people
all over the world
closer to our lord,
our savior.
He is a leader.
He is a servant.
He also just happens
to be my best friend.
It is now
my distinct pleasure
to introduce to you the man
behind this mission.
Ladies and gentlemen, my good friend, Mr.
Sam atwell!
Beep, beep,
beep, beep,
beep, beep, beep
beep, beep,
beep, beep, beep.
Morning, Baker.
High is 97,
and your low is 75.
Sam, buddy, you can't
bail on me. I mean it.
Yes, I can. No, you can't, Sam.
Uh-uh.
What did she say exactly?
Okay, she said,
"Abby and I are going to go to
worship service this afternoon."
Don't know why
this is funny.
"Bring Sam along,
and we'll meet at church."
You know what? You need to take Baker.
I'm not taking Baker.
No way. I need somebody
who can party, Sam.
Somebody like me,
and you're closest...
At church?
Oh, yeah.
Phil, I'm just sensing
the gloomy skies over you, man.
Look alive.
The floor's lava.
Next time you can
do that with a smile.
Tyler, I'm gonna leave in a sec
if you want to come with me.
I got to bail, man. Still got to
finish these internship apps.
Why are you going
so early, anyway?
I got a meeting
before class.
Give this to Baker
if he gets up, okay?
What time... What time
does this class end?
4:30, Pierce.
Which is
just crazy
because this church thing's
popping off at 6:00 P.M.
All right, what are
we even wearing...
hey, all right!
That's great! Good!
Okay, listen, if you
want to be colorful,
Moses apparently had a whole
bunch of colors on his coat,
so I got something
made out of fuchsia...
maybe a skinny black tie.
Have a bit of edge.
Phil, grab my keys
in my bag, please.
I owe you, man.
I do. Appreciate that.
As long as everybody's happy.
I'll see you guys later.
It is not that bad.
It is that bad.
No, it's not. Sam, I haven't
slept in three weeks.
Okay, I've got
stats homework
growing out of
my backseat.
And to top it all off, I've got to
go in front of the I.F.C. Tonight
and deny all of the hazing
allegations they have on you guys.
I-I-I...
I'm not like you all.
I can't just get up in front of
people and just lie to their faces.
Okay. Who's your
stats Professor again?
You're in Elliot's class, right?
Yeah.
And did he start off
the year talking about
how even Einstein
failed math as a kid?
Yeah. Yeah, pretty
amazing story, right?
Only problem is,
that story
never happened.
Einstein didn't fail
math as a kid.
He mastered differential
calculus before he was 15.
Teachers still tell their
students that today because it...
It inspires a sense
of hope that their students
can overcome obstacles
and achieve their dreams.
Sometimes people do
want to be lied to.
So you want me
to sell out?
No, I want you
to buy in.
Look, Phil,
I think you're bad-ass, dude.
I really do.
But if you want to join a fraternity,
make sure there's one to join.
You're gonna be all right.
You know that, don't you?
Morning, gentlemen.
Morning, sir.
Grab Phil's stats book along
with my bag, please. Yes, sir.
Boys, Phil has fallen
deathly ill.
When you get back
to the dorms,
see that he goes straight
to sleep and isn't disturbed.
Understood?
Yes, sir.
I'll leave this on my porch
for you when I finish it.
Have a good day, Mr. atwell.
Have a good day, Mr. atwell.
What are you doing?
I just said that.
Come on!
All righty.
Your transcript
and your application
to graduate.
Thank you.
Pretty darn
exciting.
You're cool, right?
Yeah, you're cool.
Uh, for my address,
should I put my current
address or permanent address?
Here's what's gonna happen.
The business office is going to
to whatever you put in the blank
under "address." What... sorry.
I'm gonna be switching
houses is all,
because I'm going to law
school here in the fall.
So I'm wondering if I should...
Mm-hmm.
I was supposed to
go to law school.
It was the end
of my last semester
as a political
science major...
I'm a poli sci major.
And my therapist
convinced me to take
a semester off.
Just thought it might
help me find myself.
My therapist
and I went to
cabo San Lucas,
and they found her with...
Shut up, shut up,
shut up!
Shut it!
Are you okay?
I'll put my
permanent address.
It says here
there's
a hold on
my application
for $9,211, but my scholarship
should cover that.
Hmm?
Would you mind just
checking on that?
Check to see
if we made a mistake?
Have a real quick look? Now?
Yeah.
You took summer school
last year?
Yes. Some of
my professors
were saying that it'd be
a good way to make time
to prepare for
the Isat's, so...
Mm, that makes sense.
Yeah, I know. That's why I
shouldn't be penalized.
No, this tuition bill.
It all seems to be
adding up correctly.
Your scholarship expired
last semester.
I'm gonna pour you
a drink.
Uh, hold on. That's not gonna work for me.
I can't pay that.
Oh, shoot. I guess that makes you the
only student who can't afford college.
Hold on, hold on. I'm not
gonna be able to come up
with nine grand
in three weeks.
Then take a semester off. I'm
not taking a semester off.
Son, stop thinking about your dreams
being crushed as a bad thing.
It's fantastic.
This is the first day of the
rest of your pathetic life.
Take the advice
my father gave me:
Life is difficult.
Jesus.
Amen. You guys
can be seated.
We're gonna continue to fan
the flames of the spirit,
but first off, we're
gonna hear from Macy
about our missions team.
Hi everyone. I want to
talk to you this evening
about our annual
summer mission trip.
After a lot of
prayer and fasting,
our group has felt the lord's
calling to go and make disciples
in Hawaii!
Now, reaching the Hawaiians
with the gospel of Jesus
will be impossible without the
financial support of our church.
I'd love to answer
any questions you may have
after the service, and we just
really appreciate your support.
Thanks.
We have decided
to give tonight's offering
towards our missionaries
in their efforts.
As the ushers come
forward, all that I ask
is that you give
in a way that reflects
the faith
that you claim.
Let's continue to
worship together.
Look alive, look alive.
Here we go.
Hey, Macy.
Hey! How are you?
Good!
Sam atwell. I didn't know
you went to this church.
I don't. I came with
some friends, so...
Oh.
Yeah.
How's it going?
How's the fundraising going?
It's going well.
It's definitely
a challenge, though,
to raise 20,000.
Yeah, geez.
That's a lot.
So, uh, how much have you
all got left to raise?
Well, let's see...
$4,000 as of
Wednesday, which,
you know, we started
a week ago, so...
Wait, you've
raised 16,000...
you raised $16,000 in... where
did you get all that money?
God has been so good
to us in our mission.
Hasn't he?
My gosh!
Actually, a lot of my friends have had
success raising money for mission trips.
My cousin Allison
is in ruhongo
for living water,
drilling Wells.
There was a flood
in Lesotho,
so I'm pretty sure
she moved there,
but, ah,
she's everywhere.
So what kind of
accountability is there?
What do you mean?
Oh, I guess...
I guess I'm just thinking,
like, how do these people know
that you're not, like,
running off to Vegas
with the money?
Right, yeah. Obviously,
that's ridiculous.
Um...
Well, I'm...
Bringing my camera.
I don't get it.
Okay. Okay.
What do you not get?
Guys,
we only have three months left
together before we have to graduate.
I'm having a quarter-life crisis
here, and you're talking to Africa?
No. No. We're not
going to Africa.
But you want to dig Wells.
Well, it's this big thing right now.
It's about clean water.
We're not actually gonna be digging any.
You're dipping again, huh?
Yeah, I'm trying to quit smoking.
That a boy.
It's a healthy choice. Guys, why
do people go to charity events?
'Cause they want to help people.
Wrong. Because
they want to feel like
they're helping people,
and that feeling
comes with a price.
The sadder the cause,
the higher the price.
And what's sadder than kids in
Africa without clean water.
So I've been
doing my research.
It seems that now,
saving Africa
is as popular with christians
as Jesus Christ himself.
So if we can challenge christians to
prove their faith through giving,
they're gonna give whatever they
have to to not feel guilty.
Basically, we're
going to... steal.
Yeah. You want to steal
from christians.
Yeah?
Pierce clovins. Long-time
listener, first-time caller.
Uh, presentation looks great.
It's really cute.
The idea is awful.
It's just terrible.
But I appreciate the brewskis
and I appreciate the bro-skis.
I got things to do... Pierce, you'd
be doing me a real solid here.
I don't think so. You'd
be helping me out.
Sorry, buddy. There might
be money in it for you.
Would you all just
listen to Sam? Really!
Sam, please continue.
Thank you.
Very well-thought-out idea.
Thank you. Guys,
look, all I'm asking you to do
is help me put on one event.
Sam, I think Pierce
was trying to say
was that there has to be something
else... there isn't, dude!
I can't get a tuition
loan fast enough,
I can't get an emergency
loan big enough.
All the scholarships
are way past due.
And I'd be lucky to get
two grand for my car.
A lot of people take a year off to
pay for college. It's no big deal.
What do you know about paying
for college? Hey, hey.
I'm sorry my parents love
me, decided not to be poor.
Guys, everyone that
takes a year off
either moves home
or they lose momentum.
I'm not gonna
be that guy.
I'm going
to law school.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
You know what? Screw it. Yes!
I don't really get it.
Well...
But, guys, how many more
chances are we gonna get
to steal from people under
false pretenses as a family?
That's not really...
Huh? College, no parents.
I'm in.
And I know
Tyler's in.
No, I'm not in.
Tyler?
I couldn't live with myself
if we weren't giving
most of the money to charity.
Okay.
You know that I don't do public speaking.
That's fine.
We can give 20%
to a real charity.
Plus, we need someone on sound.
Perfect. Pierce.
Sam! I do not care about charities.
Not one bit.
But I will take a percentage
of those profits.
Yes, you will. Perfect.
But, guys, listen.
If we're gonna
do this,
we're gonna need
to go all the way.
And I mean, we're gonna
need some serious help.
Baker, you don't
think that...
Oh, I do think that. I was
hoping you'd say that.
You are the worst
pledge trainer ever.
Certainly the most handsome.
Thank you kindly.
Amen.
I was tangled
in all the wires
Tied down
and I felt the fire
there was nothing
for me to do
I was searching
but not for you
It is. It's just the craziest thing.
I know.
But then I thought about it, and I
realized, how could I not get involved?
You know what I mean? It's just
a cause so close to my heart.
Hey, could you just get, like,
two more jars for table two?
Thanks, dude. Appreciate all
your hard work. Hey, excuse me.
Sorry. Could you just tell
me who's running this event?
Uh, yeah. I am.
Sorry. Hi. I'm Sam. Oh!
Oh, my gosh. Hi. That's awesome.
How are you?
I actually worked in
Lesotho a few summers ago.
No way. Wow. Wow.
What district are you guys in?
I think it's game time.
Hello. I wish I
could stick around.
I got to go and do this show.
Sam!
Yikes. Yeah.
But, uh, yeah,
any questions you got, just check your
pamphlet. Should break everything down.
No, no, no. That's...
It's confusing.
He has given us
so much,
and we think that it's time
to give a little back.
Project
"get Wells soon"
would like to
challenge you to give
in a way that reflects
the faith that you claim.
So, before you go
to the donation tables,
I want to ask you,
will you give today
for a better tomorrow?
Praise God. Thank you all
so much for coming out!
We really appreciate it.
Please be careful
going home.
Good night!
I looked down, and there were
two benjis sitting there.
No way.
So way.
I think we hit
the frickin' jackpot.
Hey, wake up,
you lucky bastard.
You are really gonna graduate.
No, I am not.
No, no!
We got to help
these kids!
Saw that coming.
It's not enough. It's not enough.
I couldn't agree more.
Ken Hopkins, executive
director, cross country.
Good to meet you.
I've got to tell you,
I was out there listening,
and, boys, I was impressed.
I would like to...
Bless you.
Thank you.
I would like to take
you boys to dinner,
and I would like
to discuss
your future plans.
I have every intention of putting
you on the national stage
to make all the money
you need for your charity.
I really want this
mission of yours
to succeed.
One dinner?
27 cities, 27 shows.
We've been doing cross
country for 15 years,
and we've seen thousands of
people come to know Christ.
Last year, the holy
herald ranked us
the second-most impactful
ministry in the country.
So why, uh...
Why us?
I absolutely love
what you guys are doing
with project
"get Wells soon,"
and I love you guys. You're just...
Cool christians.
I am so sorry that
that took so long.
Hi, everyone.
Sit, please.
Gentlemen, this
is Callie Edwards,
the best tour coordinator
we ever had.
Hey, Joe's not gonna
budge. He said we could only afford one.
That's what I thought
would happen.
Fellas,
here's the deal.
We can only afford to offer
you one signing bonus,
but it is $15,000,
and we can cover
all of your food and lodging
expenses while you're on tour.
"On tour"? We would be
doing what, exactly?
Well, obviously, you would
be getting donations,
but primarily you'll be preaching.
Oh.
Uh, well, I'm not...
you're not... yeah.
You're not doing that.
He's actually
our tech guy.
He's actually interning
with us this year,
aren't you, Tyler? But he's as much
a part of the team as anybody.
Tyler, are you from South Africa?
What's that?
Quick question, Ken,
just because you had
mentioned fundraising...
how much money
could we expect to make?
Uh, for Africa?
Um...
Safely, quarter
of a million.
Now, I know you've probably already
discussed this, but I'm curious.
We would love to hear more
about your work in Lesotho.
Ah.
Well, uh, yeah.
Uh, I mean,
really, uh, if you're
boiling it down,
if you're really
just...
Let's really look
at the base facts.
I mean, this is...
This is really
the lord's work,
wouldn't you say?
Amen.
Amen.
And you guys,
are you all set up
to handle your own
accounting for the... Oh!
Well, yeah. We
recently switched to a
quarterly based accrual
system, right.
Which is going to... Perfect.
Good enough.
Our only requirement is that
100% go to the mission work.
- Sounds great.
- Yeah.
But we can't actually, um...
We can't...
yeah, we can't
make a decision
without talking
it over first.
Right? This guy...
Would you mind if we just
discussed it real quick?
Oh, certainly. Certainly.
Take a minute?
I've got tough
decisions of my own.
Jesus
so Callie's a smoke shell.
Intern, huh?
Yeah, let me
just explain.
Uh, okay, guys?
I think we can do this.
Oh, absolutely.
Oh, he's joking.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought I heard him say,
"quarter of a million
dollars." You guys hear that?
What if project "get Wells soon"
was a legitimate nonprofit?
We can't do it.
Why?
You heard what the guy said:
100% percent of the proceeds...
Has to go to the charity work.
Yeah, sure.
But I'm talking about cash. They're gonna
be keeping records of the card swipes
and the checks, but most of
this money is gonna be cash.
All I'm saying is, at the end of every
night, we're adding up the total...
We just skim off the top. No
one's gonna know the difference.
And then the rest, we can
give to a legitimate charity.
I already know one. It's called "living
water." This would really help them.
Real noble, Sam. Will that
bonus top off your tuition?
I'm not even thinking
about that right now.
Okay, yeah, all right.
It would, okay?
But you guys got to
think bigger than this.
This could be great
for all of us.
Ty, I know you don't want to be
someone's coffee bitch all summer.
Become an intern for
project "get Wells soon."
Baker, what are you
gonna do after graduation?
Huh? You want to kill yourself
at someone's desk job,
or do you want to get paid to
come have a wild time with us?
It's stealing.
I don't know, Sam.
Baker, trust me.
Okay.
Guys, I think we can do
a lot of good with this one.
Okay, why are you
so into this?
Why do you always think
I have ulterior motives?
Huh? There's a lot of good
I want to do in this world.
Okay, full disclosure: I lost
all my summer rent money.
If I ask my dad for any more,
he's gonna make me work for him,
and I just
can't have that.
So technically,
it is my only option,
but it is a plan I believe in.
It's a good plan.
Great plan.
Great plan.
Great plan.
Look, dude, if you don't trust
me, if you're not feeling it,
that's fine,
I'll stop talking about it.
All I'm asking is,
give me one good reason
why the hell not.
Hell is why not. Sam!
Tyler, you...
come on, dude.
You'd better write me
one hell of a recommendation.
Hey, could one of y'all just
turn off the sun, please?
I heard you won
big last night.
Could I see
your bag real quick.
I know I'm throwing
a lot at you guys,
but any questions you have should
be answered in those packets.
Oh, um...
Those are just the tour
policies you agreed to.
You're strict about the no-alcohol policy?
Definitely.
That's good, definitely.
Okay, so this will be
your typical green room.
This one kind of sucks,
but every place is different.
This is where we'll get your makeup
and microphone on beforehand.
Guys, this is awesome.
Dude, it's a microwave.
Yeah, but we've, like, made it.
You guys are the guys!
Hey, we're the guys.
You're Sam, Baker,
Tyler, Pierce!
Oh, I totally friend-requested
you guys last night.
I'm kind of the eyes
and ears backstage.
Hey, you might want to
change your privacy setting.
Okay, I got three wireless and a headset.
Who's running graphics?
That'd be me.
Sweet. Yeah, okay.
Be careful with those rascals in the back.
They don't get out much.
Okay. You all know how
these work, right?
It's pretty simple. You just
hold this button right here
and it turns on, and to
turn it on, it's the same.
You just hold it. It's great. And
make sure you don't mess that up.
Hey, Tyler, do you want to go up
to the booth and meet the team?
Uh...
Do it, dude.
Go up to the booth, dude.
Yeah, that'd...
awesome. It was great meeting you guys.
Seriously.
Bye, Yale.
Have fun in the booth.
Okay.
Let's just keep going
with this.
All right.
I like this guy.
Yale must be
a decaf man.
So this is
the best part
of our already
amazing tour, yes?
Um, you know what?
You guys should meet Gabriel.
He's the worship leader,
and his whole
band's here.
It's our only song.
It's not that hard.
Every moment
is a teaching moment.
Fellas! This must
be the God squad.
Hey, Sam.
How are ya?
Hey, Gabriel, obviously.
Friends call me Gabe.
Let's keep it at
"Gabriel" for now.
Like the archangel. That's cute.
What's that
so, uh, yeah...
oh, Gabriel's your...
that's your real name.
You weren't kidding.
No.
This is Gabriel,
the worship leader.
Well, now, I wouldn't
call myself that.
I mean, my life
is worship,
and, uh, I am
a bit of a leader.
I see how that label
would fit, but, no, no.
No, I'm just
an artist.
Wow.
Yeah.
But I'm also really busy,
so I got to get back to it.
By the way, big fan of you guys.
Love your work.
I mean, stay sweet.
Hey are we still on for 8:00?
Yeah.
Can I talk to you
for a second?
Just two seconds.
Hey, scales, scales.
G-c-d.
G-c-d is for...
I mean, do you think
he still wakes up
watching vh-1?
Because the goo-goo doll...
whoa.
Jesus
all I'm saying is, just know your
talking points before you go in there.
Dude, relax.
You're over-thinking it.
All I got to do is walk out,
say a couple verses,
teach the word of the lord.
No, dude,
the only thing you should be focusing
on is having an emotional response.
Yeah, don't go out there
and try to teach
what you don't understand.
It's fine.
It's covered. Seriously.
Baker, you're talking about
the problems in Lesotho.
Pierce, you are... Gonna
show 'em how to fix 'em.
Exactly.
What do you
need from me?
Uh, nothing.
Just do your thing
in the booth.
I will take care
of the rest.
Ten bucks says we don't
make it through this show.
Twenty.
Guys, guys, okay.
Ready to have some fun?
All right. This is it.
Battle stations, everybody.
Now transitioning
from the charity portion
into the message sequence.
All hands on slides.
Plus, we're saving lives.
I mean, how neat is that?
Ladies and gentlemen,
a man who
needs no introduction,
Mr. Sam atwell.
Yeah!
This place is dead.
Wow!
Praise God!
Praise God!
Am I right, Atlanta?
My name is Sam atwell,
and welcome to
cross country.
Tonight, I, uh,
I want to talk to you
about God's plan for you.
I think the big
question is,
was Jesus really
walking on water here?
No. No.
This is obviously
a story...
a story...
a story to represent
these moments
when the fear
and-and... and, uh...
I mean, yes,
we all know that Jesus
did walk on water.
He can do that.
We know that.
But I think the question
we have to ask
is why? Why?
You don't think that God couldn't
have just sent a row boat?
"Row boat"? What the hell
is he talking about?
My best guess,
uh...
that is, uh...
that's...
move over.
Yeah.
Danica, switch
the lights to cyan
and bring them up
to 70% on my count.
Camera, get me some
ambient guitar.
This is the master, right?
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
Everybody ready?
But you know what
more than that?
More than that...
I believe that God has
amazing plans
for your life.
Do you believe that?
I believe
that God wants to
change the world
through the christians
in this room.
Do you believe that?
I believe...
I believe that,
through project
"get well soon,"
we can make
the water crisis history.
But do you
believe that?
If you believe
that God
still does miracles,
I'm gonna ask you to
join us in our efforts.
Will you give today
for a better tomorrow?
And as the ushers are
coming forward, all I ask,
all I ask is that
you just...
just give in a way that reflects
the faith that you claim.
Looks like they had
over $1,000 in that bag.
I can't believe it. Hey, you
saved our ass out there.
Congratulations on your
first show, you guys.
Callie, you had us thinking
there was a no-alcohol policy.
Oh, yeah, this is
all non-alcoholic.
Do you guys throw a party
like this after every show?
Yeah, pretty much.
We try to plan fun things
for the whole tour.
This should be on
all of your lanyards.
I took a closer
look at the song,
and I realized, "this is
supposed to be about Jesus,
so what are all those other
words doing in there?"
Ladies and gentlemen,
congratulations on
a successful first show!
Ow!
Hey! Hey-hey!
Whoo!
Honestly, I couldn't have asked for
a better way to kick off the tour.
I think we have
a few kinks to work out.
Gabriel, we have to see
if we can get you
to quit preaching sermons
between every song.
Hey, okay. All right.
Take it easy.
But seriously, you guys were
very flexible and considerate,
and I couldn't be
more proud.
If we keep this up,
we really will be
the most impactful
ministry
in the nation.
Now, as we wind down
the first
of many celebrations
to come,
I'd like to get someone
to close us in prayer.
And who better than our very own God squad.
What... God...
Baker, would you mind?
All right, guys.
Look, I'm sorry!
Bake, half of your prayer was
ripped from Jerry mcguire.
No! No, I was saying
the-the-the lord's prayer.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Hey, Sam, do
we have a tax I.D. Number?
Um, yeah,
I got it right here.
All right, and don't let me
forget to have you sign this.
Mm-hmm. How much do
you want to report?
Uh...
Hey, guys,
I think we did
pretty good.
Yeah, we're gonna need
a bigger bag.
Bake, you brought
that extra bag, right?
Yeah. Wait, hold on, guys.
We aren't really gonna carry this
around like drug dealers, are we?
Uh, Tyler, it's just
like you said...
we can't deposit the money because
technically it doesn't exist.
Okay. Hey, hold on, hold on
just one second, Baker,
before you get into that.
Guys, real talk...
I would've blown it for us tonight
if it hadn't been for Tyler.
I really would've. And I
can't ignore the fact
that we might be a little
in over our heads,
but all we got to do is
just get through this tour,
and if we're going to be playing
Sunday school for the next two months,
we got a lot of
homework to do.
The goal is
to blend in,
but to do that,
we're gonna have to learn
everything we can
about these people.
How do they worship?
What are their mannerisms?
What do they like to
eat and drink?
How do they pray?
What do christians love to wear?
What's their sense of humor?
Do they have any hobbies
other than God?
How do they socialize?
How do they interact?
We all need to read up
on some Bible stories,
maybe even memorize
a few verses.
If we can do that,
we're good.
We're gonna get together
every night
and teach each other.
Sound good?
Let's get to work.
All right. Yeah!
Yeah!
Who's ready to worship and pray?
Okay. Worship and pray.
Starting off with worship,
this is basically
the best way to
advertise your faith.
And from what I can tell
so far, there are four
essential
hand-raising techniques.
First one...
the gecko.
It's just hands by the
side, palms open.
Just going for God,
like this.
This one's really good
for blending in,
'cause no one can tell
if you're worshiping or not.
It's just like this.
Could go either way.
Your mom could...
Play it out,
play it out.
Your mom could... whenever she... stop.
You're dead.
Second...
call this one
"casual five."
One hand in the pocket,
one hand up in the air.
High-fiving God.
Subtle. Simple.
The next one:
The straightjacket.
This is very, very, simple.
You're literally gonna hug
yourself.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I recommend this one
when worship goes acoustic.
I don't need to hug anybody else?
It's just me?
Last but not least,
my favorite...
the Shawshank.
Now, this one,
this is a little intense...
maybe too intense.
Do we jump up and down
while Shawshank-ing? No.
How do you know?
Right? No. Please.
Look, again, if the situation calls
for it, if everyone's going to town,
I recommend
just little calf raises,
balls of your feet.
You don't want to force it. You don't want
to be Shawshank in a room full of geckos.
Got it? Okay.
Let's talk about prayer.
The idea is
to say these words
as many times as is humanly
possible within one prayer.
Oh, and the word's just:
This is your saving grace.
This the crutch word.
Sprinkle this in anywhere.
Other ingredients include
metaphors, self-degradation...
very popular.
- Dramatic pauses.
- That's nice.
What is? I saw
what he did there.
What'd he do? And also,
of course, old English.
Got that one? And as
long as you finish
with an "amen" or an
"ah-men," you're solid.
Questions?
And that's how messed up
everything is in Africa.
Let's pray.
Father God,
lord,
Jesus Christ,
God,
father,
we ask that you just
break our sinful hearts
and just...
Just...
Just help us.
Please help us
help you...
Help Africa.
Okay? Please?
Okay. Now, when we're
done highlighting,
we're gonna dip it into the water
to give it that distressed look.
While these dry,
let's talk vernacular.
Now, the first thing you need
to know is that christians
hate swear words
but love swearing.
If you want to swear like
a Christian, you either
spell out the word
or make it into a letter.
"F" that. Exactly. This'll help you
sound edgy while you're preaching.
All you have to do is preface
it with something like,
"now, I know I might get in
trouble for this, but..."
So here's this guy,
and he's traveling around,
persecuting christians.
Now, I know I'm gonna get
an e-mail about this,
but he's being
kind of an a-hole.
Am I right?
He is.
But this is the thing... and I'm gonna
keep going back to this point...
- Granola bars.
- No.
Fast food. It depends
on how much you spend.
What about pie?
Now we're talking desserts.
If the dessert is part of the meal,
it's probably already been prayed for.
If the dessert is the meal,
best bet's to pray for it.
And then I said, "what's a
calvinist doing in a buffet line?"
Whoa. Allow me, all right?
Heavenly father, thank
you for blessing us...
Bartender, can I get
two Shirley temples,
hold the fruit?
Check it out.
It's Hebrew.
What?
Hebrew.
It's an ancient language.
What does it mean?
I'm not sure.
So, uh, how long
have you
and Gabriel been...
You and Gabriel?
Um, like, a year.
Wow. That's something. Yeah.
Actually,
he's been talking
about starting his own
nonprofit someday,
and I think that's great.
That's great. Yeah.
It is great.
- Great.
- Who is it?
Don't worry about it. Do
you have somewhere to be?
Uh, no.
It's nothing.
It's just a guy.
Were you just
drinking surge?
Okay. He's trying
to quit dipping.
Stained-glass windows, organ
players, church hymnals...
all these things
are dead.
Christians have traded them out for
smoke machines, hipster fashions,
and fair-trade coffee.
Now, with this change comes
new revenue streams,
including, and most
importantly, Christian apparel.
Which is why I propose we start a
clothing line, and we're gonna call it...
"Cross dressing."
Pierce, don't give me...
I like it.
Really?
Yeah.
Thank you. Every t-shirt
that Yale kid wears has
has a Christian brand name
or positive slogan,
so if we come up with our own name or
message, we'll kill it with merchandise.
You know what I say
about little African babies,
like,
who's born in the filth
with flies in his face,
nothing to drink but dirty
sewer water, and I think,
not on my watch.
Yeah.
Not on my watch!
All chanting:
Not on my watch!
Show me the money!
Not on my watch!
Cross dressing's all about
making a statement.
"Abstinence is bad-a!"
Yeah, it's looking at you, kid!
Right in the face!
"F Satan!"
Yeah!
Look at that, girl!
Okay, now,
to the left.
One more time
to the right.
So what does he do?
He goes crawling around,
all around the desert,
only to fall plumb
smack-dab in the middle
of quicksand!
Ladies and gentlemen,
we can get this baby
out of the quicksand!
Brothers,
I only ask you
one question:
God may love you,
but does he like you?
All right. Good morning.
Hey.
Shall we?
Let's join hands.
Heavenly father,
we thank you for
this wonderful day,
and thank you for
all the blessings
that you've given us.
Father...
father God...
as we live out this day,
what are you doing tonight?
Please remind us of all
your unyielding love
and endless grace.
Got to come get some barbecue
with us when we're in Austin.
I'll try.,..As we
head to Austin.
It's kind of
non-negotiable.
...that you continue to
build this ministry up,
that we would fulfill
your calling
to be the biggest faith
event in the whole world.
Let me talk to Gabriel, and maybe
we can meet up with you guys.
Yeah?
Amen.
Amen.
All right.
I'm sure most of you
know about
the recent tragedy in
Zambia, the earthquake,
and as we pair up,
pray for the victims
of that tragedy
and that God's name
be praised throughout.
And be ready to leave
for Austin at 1:00.
Break it up.
Sam, would you like to be
prayer partners with me?
Do you want to...
dear lord,
first of all, I want to
thank you for this day
and for all
the blessings
that you've
given us.
Father God, in all this
tour craziness,
I want to pray
for Sam.
I pray that you stop
anyone and anything
that might distract him
from helping people
reach you.
Father, throw out
all temptation,
and please give me
the courage
to do whatever is necessary
to hold him accountable.
Oh, and I want to echo
what Ken said earlier
about Zimbabwe.
Amen.
Sam, would you
like to pray?
Did I...
did I do something?
Good chat.
Oh, no, man.
Sam, you have to stay
away from her, all right?
The last thing we need is that guy
running around playing detective.
I got it. Because if he
figures out about the bag...
I said I got it.
Okay, I'm almost
ready for you.
Sam, Brent's
almost ready for you.
All right, look. We have to
do something with that bag.
Get it out of here. Maybe we should
drop it at the house before...
no. Yeah.
Check one.
Check one, check one.
Keep going.
Sam, he's not getting anything!
Yeah, yeah, it's fine.
Check, one, two. I swear, I
can never get this thing.
It always sticks.
Check one.
You got something?
Uh, hi, I'm Sam atwell.
Hello. This is Tyler.
We're good.
We're good? Good.
Are we good?
All right. Tyler.
No, you know what?
Just stay focused, Sam.
Okay?
Hey, Sam, hey.
I need to check the
pickups in your mic.
Yeah, it's fine,
it's fine.
That's what I thought too, but
the pickups... let me just...
Yale, it's fine.
I said I got it.
I can handle it.
Okay?
Yeah, you can handle it.
Hey, you know what? You could
lighten up a little bit.
We're putting on a pretty amazing show.
It's not just a show anymore.
Hey. Hey, Sam.
Hey!
How are you?
Fantastic, thank you.
I just had to tell you
how truly inspired
I have been by
your last two sermons.
That's great, dude. That's awesome.
Thanks. I appreciate it.
Hey, Sam...
Yeah?
I think God wants me
to go to Africa.
Just forget about school.
Drop everything here
and just go.
I know there are missionaries
leaving from Houston in a few days.
I understand that money may be a
huge issue and everything, but...
I just had to ask you,
how do you know what it is
that God wants you to do?
Well, I mean,
if you think about it, why wouldn't God
want you to go to Africa, you know?
I say if you feel
in your heart that God's
calling you to do that,
just go for it, dude.
Yes, yes, yes!
Definitely.
I... I just wish that God would
just pick up the phone, you know,
and give me a call
and tell me what to do,
but maybe if you wouldn't
mind praying for me.
Of course, dude. Yeah.
I'd really appreciate that.
I would really, really really appreciate
that. I got to get back to the booth.
Okay. Thank you, guys.
Thank you, thank you.
Hey, congratulations.
You're awesome.
Thanks.
What's up, you d.B.?
What up?
Brought you all some
breakfast taquitos.
Hey, guys, you got to read
some of these fan letters.
"Dearest God squad,
you are my heroes,
and I'd love to make your sidekick.
Unrighteousness?"
Not on my watch.
Four exclamation marks.
What the hell is that? Ty,
you got to check these out.
What?
Why did you do that? What?
Oh, you d... you didn't see
how excited that kid was?
That kid's name
is Cameron.
And you can't just push a decision
like that on someone you don't know.
I'm not pushing anything
on anyone, okay?
I'm just... he...
he believes that God
wants him to go to Africa.
I can't help if he's convicted. That's
not my fault. Are you kidding me?
You keep saying you're supporting people
who believe in God, but you're not.
All you're doing is pushing God
on people that believe in you.
You have to chill, okay?
I'm not doing anything
except saying what people
expect me to say... that's it.
And if people want to give money to
a good cause, what's so bad about...
what we're taking is
worse than their money.
You just turned Cameron's
life upside down
for something you don't
even believe in.
It doesn't matter if I believe
it, if you believe it.
It doesn't matter if any of us believe it.
We're here to facilitate...
no, we're here because you got
backed into a corner. That is it.
That's it, man.
It was you that
needed them,
not the other
way around.
Let me get this straight. So you think
that Cameron shouldn't go to Africa?
You think that
christians shouldn't make
the world a better
place, is that right?
Not if they're doing it for bullshit
reasons. It's not bullshit to Cameron.
He believes in Jesus. Why
does that bother you so much?
He only believes it
because people like you
stand on that stage
and sell it to him.
He doesn't know any better
than to buy it.
Hey, Tyler,
chill out, man.
- Just simmer down.
- Guys, we're all tired.
We're all stressed. We've
been on the road a long time.
Okay? Look, what I want
you to do... I'm done.
What?
I'm done, man.
What do you mean? I'm
not doing this anymore.
I can't do this
anymore.
And, guys, maybe
we don't have to.
Maybe we can just
leave the tour.
We all heard about the
earthquakes in Zambia, right?
And Cameron was just telling
us about some missionaries
that are going there
in the next few days.
We could just go to Ken and tell
him that God called us there.
How could he
argue with that?
We made enough money, and the time
to get out couldn't be better.
What's going on
in Zambia?
Don't
worry about Zambia, Baker.
We're not going to Zambia.
We're not going to Zambia.
'Cause there's plenty of
money to be had right here.
For once, this is the perfect time
for you to quit while you're ahead.
I didn't ask for your opinion. I'm
not lying to these people anymore.
Good, then leave, get out. You just
forfeit your share for somebody else.
Okay? Go find some
other internship.
Why don't you think about someone
other than yourself for a second?
Quiet!
No one's leaving.
We're gonna finish
what we started.
Works for me, Sam.
Okay?
Tyler? Tyler!
Sam,
I am not trying to put
you guys in a tough spot,
but tonight is
my last show, man.
And if y'all want to
keep going, then...
Well, then,
that's on you.
It's on me?
Hold on. Tyler.
Tyler!
So I know this is
just the worst timing.
Oh, no, no. No.
I understand.
I do.
Well, these are the total
donations from Dallas,
and Sam will be coordinating
with our offices
for the remaining shows.
Well, fantastic. We sure
will miss you around here.
Thank you
for everything,
and God bless you.
Hey.
I'm sorry.
What are you doing?
I'm sorry. Thanks for that.
I really appreciate it.
What are you doing?
What's up?
Awesome job tonight.
That was...
That was...
Oh, high five. Okay.
I'm going for it. Yep.
So, Gabriel has to meet
with Ken about something,
and I think it's gonna
be a while, but...
I would still be up for hanging
out with you guys if you want.
Oh, yeah.
Uh, I don't know if the guys are
gonna be able to make it anymore,
so...
That's fine.
But I'm still happy to
show you the city
if you want.
Uh...
I'd be up for it.
Yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah, sure.
Are you ready now?
- The trailer park's just down the street.
- Okay.
Wait, what?
Honestly, I spent
more time playing soccer
with the kids than I
ever did teaching. Yeah?
Yeah.
Why am I not surprised?
Here, I want you
to see them.
Oh, wow.
Oh, he's a good-looking guy.
I know.
He's strapping.
Hey, I know
you hear this enough,
but I have to say it:
You're really making a
difference over there.
It's just, it matters,
that's all.
He's a cool kid.
Mm-hmm.
You really miss
Lesotho, huh?
Yeah.
How come
you came back?
I wanted people here
to know Jesus too.
You know,
I wanted them
to come to things
like this and not miss
the whole point
of it all.
I don't know.
I just...
I'm not sure
if I've really
changed anything.
Callie,
you are not
responsible
for changing
everybody.
You can't be.
Yeah.
The truth is,
some of these people
are gonna show up,
and they're gonna miss the point
of it all, they just are.
But, you got to believe
that these events
inspire hope, and that is
better than being hopeless.
That's something.
I guess I just
feel like
if your hope's
not in Jesus,
then...
Maybe you are hopeless.
Don't you?
Hey.
Hey, good morning.
Good morning.
You sound tired.
You weren't driving some poor girl around
the city till 1:00 A.M., were you?
Hey, uh, do you want to grab
breakfast with me or something?
I just, uh...
I just wanted to talk
to you about something.
Hold on a second.
Can you hold on?
Hey.
Hey.
You got a sec?
Hey, did Baker sleep
in here last night?
Uh, I don't know.
Where is he?
I think he went to
some party near campus,
but I'm not sure.
Where are you going?
Okay, that sounds fine.
What's that?
I said that sounds fine.
Uh, great, okay.
Why don't I meet you
downstairs at a quarter till?
Okay. Okay, see you in a bit.
Hey, have you seen
my keys anywhere?
Uh, no.
What are you doing?
Uh, big Russ got a glimpse
of my credit card statement
showing where my
allowance money went,
so he said I got 48 hours
to get it back to him,
or I'm gonna have to work
for him to pay it off.
So I'm gonna need
my share of the cash.
Yeah, uh, I'm gonna need to talk
to you about that. What's up?
I think we should
give the money back.
That's great.
I think we should give it
to a real charity. Uh-huh.
I'm serious. Look, I get
that this was my idea.
I get that. I get that I said it
didn't matter where the money went,
because it's not about money to these
people, and it's probably not,
but there's a whole other
group of people
that are just dying,
hold on.
And that depend on this
money just to survive.
I can't... we got to
do the right thing here.
Sam, that's just not
gonna work for me.
Pierce, just... just listen for a second.
That's not happening.
Sam, you make decisions
based off what's right for you.
Okay? And that's fine.
That's what everybody does.
But you're not the authority on
what is right and what is wrong.
You do whatever you want
with your share, okay?
Give it away.
I don't care.
Just don't all of a sudden pretend
like you're some good guy
I'm not acting like because you
had a conviction last night.
I'm a good guy, I just...
anyone would agree
that this is wrong, okay?
No shit.
No shit, Einstein.
Where was this
four months ago?
Huh? Wasn't so obvious
when you needed the money.
And now I'm in a bind,
and you just leave me
hanging to dry?
I'm not leaving you out to dry, okay?
That's just unreal!
You talk about doing the right thing.
Why stop at giving the money back?
Why don't you
stand there on stage,
tell those thousands of people
you lied to who you really are.
Maybe I should!
Mm-hmm, but you won't.
'Cause you only tell the truth
when it's convenient...
To you.
So do whatever
you want with your share,
but I'm taking mine.
Thank you.
We got a problem.
He's just trying to freak us out.
He's doing a pretty good job.
Tyler wouldn't take... we don't know that!
Find him, okay?
All right. Where are you going?
Just meet me at the house.
And find out where Baker is!
All right, all right.
These guys have been
pretending to be christians
so they can scam money off people.
What?
The prayers, the sermons, the
charity, none of that is real!
Oh, my gosh, you're being ridiculous!
Callie, listen.
Sam has never
drilled any Wells.
He's never even
been to Africa,
and he certainly
does not believe in God.
I found a whole bag of donations
hidden in his closet.
How did he...
- he's been playing all of you.
- Hey, Callie?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hear it from him.
Gabriel...
Now, I know you don't believe
me, and he will never tell you,
but you can hide in the bathroom.
You sound crazy!
I know, I know. I'm sorry.
Hey, uh...
Hey, listen, something's come up.
Just call when you get a sec, okay?
Sam,
are you lost?
Where's Callie?
Sam, I thought
we had an understanding.
All right, Gabriel.
Sam, did you
lose something?
What did you do?
I didn't do anything.
You're the one stealing
from the tour, Sam.
Where did you hear that?
I heard it from you.
You're gonna want Yale
to replace that microphone,
which, by the way, I got to side
with Tyler on your argument.
Cameron would not last
a week in Africa.
I don't care what
you think you heard,
but you've stolen what belongs to me.
I need that back.
What I found does not
belong to you.
Prove it.
I did.
You see, I knew Ken
wouldn't believe me,
so I had him count
last night's donations
before he handed them
off to you,
and suffice to say,
there were some
significant
accounting errors.
What do you want,
Gabriel?
It's not about what
I want, Sam.
It's about what's right.
Your fans deserve the truth.
My fans?
You really think people
come to see me or see you?
They're here to worship God,
not to get your autograph.
Are you really gonna
lecture me about God?
You and your friends
are going to jail, Sam.
You are.
And you have no one to
blame but yourself.
Let's get breakfast.
Ken, if there's anything
that I can do... don't.
I think you're
done talking.
This is fraud
and embezzlement, Sam, the kind of thing
that will put you away for a long time,
and I can't even
begin to tell...
excuse me.
None for me, thanks.
I won't be
pressing charges, Sam.
What?
I was part of a church
where the pastor was exposed
for having an affair.
It was a good ministry,
but it slowly fell apart
once the news hit.
As long as
I'm in charge,
we are gonna stay 100 feet
from either side of a scandal,
because there is
no winner.
Ken, you're not gonna let these
guys get away with this...
my mind is made up. You need
to think about how this could
ruin people's faith,
not to mention
our donor list.
I can take over the charity. I
actually care about these people.
We are not having
this conversation again.
You play the songs.
Be grateful
for what God's given you.
If people want
the God squad,
then that's what
they're gonna get.
How are we gonna go about getting
the money to the charity?
It turns out the money you stole is
nothing short of an answered prayer.
See, it's just enough
to cap off the funding for cross
country's fall campus tour.
Ken, you cannot...
you are gonna sign over
all ownership and rights
for project "get Wells soon"
to cross country.
You are gonna travel
with the crew,
you are gonna preach
through the summer,
and you are going to be
very wise with your words,
because discretion,
Mr. atwell,
is the only thing keeping
you boys out of jail.
Now,
is there anyone else
who knows anything about this?
Let's keep it that way.
So we're not
going to jail?
We lost
the money, bake.
Are you kidding
me, man?
Just forget about the money. We're
lucky to have a way out of this.
Look, I can still fix this. Maybe
we do have to stay on tour...
Sam. Hey, Sam,
we don't have to
do anything.
Do you want to go
to prison? No.
It's over.
I had a best
friend growing up.
We were super tight.
He went to prison.
He said he hated it.
Look, guys, maybe
if we can just...
Stop. Just stop.
I'm gonna finish this tour, and
I'm gonna get back to my life.
Me too.
I'm sorry, man.
I'm sorry.
Heard this movie
is so bad-egg.
Did anybody invite the
God squad to the movie?
I did,
but they were saying...
You can't just invite
those guys to a movie.
They're probably busy
doing charity work right now.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
You see how tense they are?
They're sold out for the spirit
in ways you guys
would never understand.
- That's my daughter in there.
- Pull yourself together.
Her brain is in a coma,
not her heart.
What am I supposed to do?
How am I supposed to forgive?
I don't even know
where to begin.
Begin with God.
Your whole life you've
been building houses,
but you've never thought
about your own foundation.
It's too late
for me now.
It's just too hard.
It's never easy
to forgive.
We have to give up
our advantage,
like Christ did
for us.
Oh, it's a terrifying
and vulnerable thing,
but it sets us free.
You're never
gonna save grace
if you don't let
grace save you.
All right, all right.
Can you just talk
to me for a second?
- Just give me five minutes?
- I won't give you two minutes.
Okay, I'm fine with just one.
What do you want, Sam?
I just want to explain myself
so you don't think I'm...
I think you're
a liar and a thief
because you lied and stole
from thousands of people.
Is that about right? Is that
pretty much what happened?
I did lie about what I
believe, and I did lie...
Sam, stop, okay?
I am forgiving you, all right?
And that's it.
You're forgiving me? Just like that?
Yep, just like that.
I don't accept.
Excuse me?
You're playing the Christian
card and don't mean it.
Just be honest with me!
Why do you assume that acting like a
Christian means not being honest?
Because I know you're upset. I
know that I let everybody down.
Yeah, Sam, that's what happens
when you try to please everyone.
You have to lie to keep them
happy, and then eventually
you run out of lies
and everyone hates you.
Wow. Okay. Okay.
Did you ever hear that
Einstein failed a math class?
Yeah, that's actually not true.
Yeah, I know,
but the point is, teachers
still tell students that today
because it inspires
a sense of hope.
Well, those teachers
are stupid,
because there's plenty
of other stories out there
that are inspirational
and actually true.
Yeah. Yeah.
Look, Sam, if you
want to live right,
if you want to do right by
people, just be honest.
You want me to be honest? You want
me to be honest and go to jail.
You want me to be honest
and go to jail...
what about all the people that are gonna
walk away from their faith because of me?
Is that what I should do?
You have no problem lying
and letting an entire
village suffer for it?
Of course I have
a problem with...
Sam, listen, listen.
I am not trying to tell
you what to do, okay?
But if anyone's faith is in you,
they should walk away from it.
And this isn't me
trying to make some
come-to-Jesus moment,
okay, it's just...
It seems like you don't
even know what you believe,
and I think
until you do know,
your best answer is that
you don't have one.
I just think you should put your hope
in something that's worthy of you.
That's all.
Callie...
I'm so sorry.
For everything.
I hope
you know that.
I hope that's true.
You got a minute?
We're not getting
to the money.
I can get to the money. That's
not the problem. What is?
Ken will never let me...
Ken cannot stop you.
Then somebody else will.
You don't understand.
These people put me in this box, like
the only thing I can do is music.
And then they resent me
'cause they're jealous.
They don't resent you
because they're jealous,
they resent you because
you're kind of a dick.
No, no, look. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Look. Listen.
You need to cut this
rock-star crap, dude, okay?
Listen, I think you're the perfect
guys to run project "get Wells soon."
I know that your heart
is in the right place,
but, man, you got to
change your attitude.
I think we can really help each
other, but you got to trust me.
Now, do you know
any other songs?
Mm.
Aha! Come in!
Come in, come in.
I'm just getting my stuff ready.
Yeah. Yeah.
I about fell out of my chair when you
called and said you had a new song.
Yeah, well, I'm just experimenting
with a few new words.
Ah, I get it.
Artist thing.
I understand.
One second.
Hello.
Yes, it's him.
Huh?
Oh. Uh...
Wh... uh...
Absolutely.
And you are here
right now?
Well, yeah, I can
come down right now.
Sounds great. Thank you
see you soon.
Gabriel, this is it!
You just tune up,
do what you need to do,
warm up, whatever.
I'm gonna run
downstairs real quick.
Apparently someone from
the holy herald is here
talking about rankings.
All right. I'll just do
some scales or something.
Great. Bye-bye.
Good evening.
I can't tell you how happy we
are to be back here in Houston.
Tonight,
let's get rid of
every distraction
and focus on
praising Jesus.
- Amen?
- Amen!
All right.
Here we go.
Jesus
yo!
What's up, dude?
How you doin'?
Hey, dude,
you never told me about
the party the other night.
How was it?
You don't even...
It was a disaster.
Really?
Yeah.
I drank 19 beers,
and three months ago,
that's bad-ass.
And now it was
just like,
"who's the old guy with the
drinking problem?"
Still, college, no parents.
Right?
No.
Nope.
I got to get a life.
Yo!
Yo, yo, what's up?
What's up, you d.B.'S?
You guys just
making out, or...
Baker, we've got
a real love.
Yeah. Something you
wouldn't understand.
Hey, uh, guys?
I just wanted to say,
I'm really, really sorry
about everything.
If I could do this whole
summer over again, you know...
ah, you're good, Sam.
Yeah. I mean, the
idea, from the onset,
terrible.
Thank you.
But you got to
see it to the end.
I did you get you
a hell of a recommendation.
Don't worry about that, man.
Unless you already wrote it.
'Cause, then, yeah.
Yeah, I'll take it.
I did. You will.
I just wish all y'all could've
got something out of it.
Uh... we got
something out of it.
Check this out.
Boom, for you.
Boom, for you.
Thanks. What is it?
What is this?
Our fat stacks, yo! Royalty
checks from cross dressing!
Baker, this is $6,500.
Guys, I'm the frigging man.
This happened.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what?
You should just
take my check.
All of y'all, just split it up.
What?
I got to work for my dad
anyways after this
to pay back some debts,
so I already got a job.
I don't need... although,
with all these checks,
I could pay him
back right now
one fell swoop,
which would be great
for me and him,
probably you guys too.
You know what, Pierce?
None of us
could thank you enough.
That's very sweet
of you. That's...
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
You're supposed to say, "no, we
couldn't," and then you give me my...
forget it.
Just give me my...
are you gonna go down? All right,
you're going down right now.
Hey, you guys,
Gabriel's...
Uh...
Gabriel's on
his last song.
Hey, Baker,
let's finish
what we started.
You got it, Pierce.
Yeah, man, I'm gonna
get to the booth.
Okay.
Hmm?
Will you give today
for a better tomorrow?
You know, if you
make $25,000 a year,
you're in the top 10%
of wealth in this world.
I mean, we are blessed
beyond belief,
and yet I don't think there's
anybody in this room who cares.
That's it.
All right.
It's heavy.
Hey, what are you
gonna say?
Uh...
I don't know.
Just...
I'll just get out there
and say the first thing that
pops into my head, I guess.
Hey, can you... Can you
deliver something for me?
Uh, yeah.
Sure.
Thanks.
Callie?
Yeah?
You...
You know how the other night you
were talking about how you feel like
you're on tour, and...
You haven't
changed anything?
You really shouldn't worry
about that so much.
It is now my
distinct pleasure
to introduce
to you the man
behind this mission.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Sam atwell!
Thank you guys.
Thank you all
so much.
I was just reading Matthew,
and, uh,
there's this story
about a rich, young guy
who meets Jesus,
and he asks him,
"how do I get
into heaven?"
And Jesus is like,
"have you obeyed
the commandments?"
And the guy's like,
"yeah, I have."
But Jesus told him
that he had
something missing,
so he asked him
to give up everything,
sacrifice everything,
and follow him.
But the guy
couldn't do it.
And it says that
the rich, young guy
walked away sad,
because
he had too much
to lose.
This guy believed in Jesus
right up to the point
that it was gonna cost him
something, and then he just bailed,
which makes me wonder
if he ever really,
really believed
in the first place.
Sometimes a decision
comes your way,
and it's...
It's a hard decision.
But it shows you
in that moment
what you really believe.
I, uh...
Morning prayer
took the girl unawares
she was late for class
and she knew it
the broadcaster had a voice
that was soothing
she couldn't tell
if it was a man or woman
and a patch of sun fell
onto her desk
she put her head
on her arms, on her neck
the lesson today was
the acts of apostles
the crazy hippies,
they're running scared
she shut her eyes
and imagined the desert
no cars, no mobiles,
just sun and bread
what would she look like
standing by the well?
More like a woman
and less like a girl
oh
if I could make sense
of it all
I wished that
I could sing
I'd stay in a melody
I would float along
in my everlasting song
what would I do
to believe?
later on she plays
"morning has broken"
she knows she's bad
she is slowing
everybody down
the choirmaster,
usually a bastard
knows her mother's sick
he'll be nice to her
she thinks that she
shouldn't be there at all
her worries make everything
else seem trivial
oh
if I could make sense
of it all
I wished that
I could sing
I'd stay in a melody
I would float along
in my everlasting song
what would I do
to believe?