In memory of the two Georges.
'Felicity.'
Bonheur.
What time's your dental appointment?
I want to go by the hardware store.
...new developments now raise fears
of an insurance swindle.
According to the latest DNA tests,
the body of the driver
found near the Sailor's Cemetery in Sete
is not Emile Leullet,
who had taken out
life insurance
with his wife as beneficiary...
What do you need there?
Shelving for upstairs.
You think of everything.
I'm making them a plum pie.
- How's that?
- Perfect.
Someone rang.
I heard.
I'll get it.
May I speak to Inspector Bellamy,
please?
I'm sorry. He's not available.
When will he be available?
You've been prowling around for days.
Tell him he can reach me
at 0612248268.
Do you have a pen?
Don't bother. Don't come back.
Who was it?
The guy who's been prowling around.
So he made his mind up.
'Trip' in six letters...
Voyage.
What an idiot! I'm really out of it.
I know it's a word you hate.
Don't be silly.
Did he give you his name?
He only gave his cell number.
What is it?
My memory isn't what it used to be.
Sure it is.
What are you going to do?
I'm off. I'll be late.
- Don't keep your dentist waiting.
- Never.
I forgot to tell you,
Jacques arrives Thursday.
- Do you mind?
- No. What a thought!
It's vacation.
Of course your brother's welcome.
What time
are they coming tonight?
I don't know. I'll ask.
- First one home does the guinea fowl.
- Okay.
Paul Bellamy.
You trampled my flowerbed.
Be more careful, fella.
Here's my number: 0466312212
If you want to reach me, call.
Don't come uninvited.
Excuse me.
'Claire Bonheur'! What felicity!
- You new here?
- You buying that wood?
Yes, fir.
That's Norwegian pine. Oak is better.
Better for coffins.
I'm putting up bookshelves.
The shelves will sag.
Books are heavy.
It's for whodunits. Light reading.
Crime novels.
My cellar's full of them.
If you want to add to your collection.
- How many boards do you need?
- Seven.
I'll see what we have in stock.
Jojo?
Come here.
You whistle like a nightingale.
Will this be all?
That's all for today.
'A sudden gust of wind
'Sent her clothes flying
into the clouds
'Yes, into the clouds'
Nice.
My boyfriend got me into Brassens.
He was his god.
You should get a loyalty card
for a discount next time.
Isn't that a scam?
It's a loyalty card.
Well, well...
- Like guinea fowl, Alain?
- I'd be a liar if I said no.
Dentists are good liars.
They were, when they had to.
No need anymore.
Help yourself.
- Did I hurt you, Francoise?
- Never.
You sure Bernard can't make it?
He's sorry, but he's swamped.
What does your friend do?
Plastic surgeon. I told you.
Oh yes, that's right.
You do teeth, he does skin.
- You must both make a mint.
- We can't complain.
I'll serve you. A wing?
- Everyone wants to stay young.
- The scam of the century.
Let's not exaggerate.
And we accept installment payments.
And they find time to travel.
Aren't they the lucky ones!
Some cabbage?
I found out what you wanted to know.
There's still space
on the Egyptian cruise.
Why not?
- We'll think it over. Right, Paul?
- Sure.
That insurance con on the lam...
- Did you know the guy?
- Emile Leullet?
You bet.
I used to clean his teeth.
He worked at Axa.
He took leave without pay last year.
Smart move.
How's his name spelled?
L-E-U-double L-E-T.
What's he like?
With his mouth open,
like anyone else.
- And with it closed?
- Almost like anyone else.
Paul finds everyone
unique and interesting.
His Good Samaritan side.
A good cop
is a Good Samaritan, honey.
A cigar?
An ex-insurance broker who tries
to swindle the insurance company,
that only makes sense.
Sorry, honey.
You know where companies
get their money?
I know we pay exorbitant premiums.
The premiums are a screen.
Here, honey.
The big laundromat is behind it.
Prostitution, drugs,
arms, the works.
And behind the laundromat?
As usual, honey.
The grand orchestrators
of the whole damn mess.
There's nothing we can do.
It's beyond us.
Apart from cleaning his teeth,
you ever chat with Leullet?
Not that I remember.
Oh yes, once.
I refused to do him a favor.
What?
he brought a cousin for dental care.
He wanted the claim form
in his name. I said no.
Did he have a mistress?
So I heard.
But I never played third wheel.
Know who Nadia Sancho is?
The pedicurist. I never went to her.
Francoise has perfect feet.
She can wear any shoe.
I'd better go.
I'm up early tomorrow.
- But your champagne!
- Drink it and think of me.
I'm trying out my new blaster
on Inspector Leblanc tomorrow.
Leblanc!
That'll be a sight. He's a real sissy.
And a sissy, on top of it!
- This your Picasso?
- Yes, but Bernard saw something better.
- We're sorry he couldn't make it.
- Not as sorry as he'll be.
I have the D.A. Tomorrow.
Two big cavities.
Is he as much of a bore as ever?
I never saw such a chatterbox.
Even under anesthesia.
Do us a favor. Don't tell him
or the inspector we're in town.
They'll keep coming to ask
Paul's advice about things.
I promise.
I'll be as silent as a grave.
When do you go back to Paris?
We'll see.
Francoise is so happy here.
This is the house she grew up in.
I don't find him effeminate.
That depends on the situation.
Inspector Bellamy sees all.
He sees all.
Bellamy sees all.
I'm tired of the house I grew up in.
That Egyptian cruise
would be a change.
Holed up for three weeks
with a bunch of assholes...
Just say you want me dead.
- You'd charm everybody.
- Are you that bored with me?
I like to see you in public.
It makes me feel proud.
Well, I'm proud to be alone with you.
You smell nice.
You always smell nice.
You get it. My hands are wet.
- My hands are full.
- It might be your brother.
Inspector Bellamy, it's me.
Who's me?
Noel Gentil.
You left me a message.
It's midnight, Mr. Gentil.
Not a decent time to call.
Who is it?
- That guy from this afternoon.
- Him again?
I should have phoned earlier.
Sorry.
But it was difficult.
You'll be interested in my story.
Yes... Yes, I understand.
Sure, I understand.
Room 7, right?
- He hung up.
- The man's a screwball.
He probably is...
There are loads of them.
- What's he want?
- He wants me to go see him.
- When?
- Now.
- He's got a nerve.
- True.
You're going?
- But why?
- He intrigues me.
- Aren't you a little crazy?
- A little.
Go tomorrow.
I'm dead on my feet.
Keep my place warm.
Room 7, please.
All the way down on the right.
Any trouble finding it?
There's only the bed.
Don't worry about me.
I read your memoirs.
It's my bedside book.
Glad to hear it.
What were you doing
in my garden?
A cigarillo?
What were you doing
in my garden?
I had to talk to you.
But I didn't dare. I'm shy.
Then let's hear it.
Who's this?
It's him. The man I killed.
I mean, so to speak.
I don't understand what happened.
What happened exactly?
Aren't you overdoing it?
I don't know where to begin.
The beginning is always best.
I feel too ashamed.
This is no time for that.
How long have you been in hiding?
No one knows I'm here except you.
What's your little game?
I have one quality.
I thought it was.
I always work things out in advance.
Watch your step.
If you've killed, that's serious.
It's bad to kill people.
Why did you do it?
For money?
For love?
- For the hell of it?
- For the woman of my dreams.
It got out of hand, I admit it.
I screwed up.
It's my fault.
Have any children?
My wife has a grown son.
He's in the army.
You have two women?
- You might say that.
- Then say it.
- Your house is in whose name?
- The mortgage is in my name.
The sun rises
over the terrace at breakfast.
If I go to prison,
they'll foreclose!
Most likely.
Where'll my wife go?
Good question.
I thought I'd pull it off.
I wanted...
everyone to be happy.
I mean it, Inspector.
You have to get me out of this.
Why?
Give me one good reason.
It'll pass. I need sleep.
Here.
You can sleep later.
Show me your ID.
Have any money?
Enough till the end of the month.
I sold my watch.
Anyway,
I don't need it.
Day and night are the same to me.
So I noticed.
Okay, let's get down to business.
I keep the photo of your man
and you tell me your story.
I'm listening.
Who is it?
The guy he thinks he killed.
Funny, I see a resemblance.
Think so?
Yeah, you're right.
What else?
He fed me a lot of nonsense,
something totally far-fetched.
Tell me.
Not worth telling. It doesn't hold water.
He knows it.
He's no dope.
An operator.
He gave me a sob story.
What are you thinking?
Suppose you had a double life.
Suppose the opposite.
Impossible, I'm monogamous.
But if you had a double life,
how would you handle it?
If I told you,
it wouldn't be a double life, darling.
I can't win with you.
I forgot to tell you.
His ID is fake.
I checked the police records:
No Noel Gentil.
Yes indeed...
He thinks I'm a fool, on top of it.
Turn the music down.
- Don't like Tchaikovsky?
- Not really.
The taxi woke you?
I told him to turn the music down.
What a jerk!
We expected you on Thursday.
The trains were full.
I didn't have a reserved seat.
Nothing to eat. I'm beat.
Unshaven.
Turn out the light.
It feels nice to be with family.
Can I have a glass?
Get your brother a glass.
I know the house.
- Not drinking with me?
- Paul's given it up.
Not even a little drop?
Not even.
Shit.
- What do I do with this, then?
- What is it?
Anethole. You can make 200 bottles
of pastis with this.
It was for you.
- Where'd you get that?
- In Spain.
Druggists here can't sell it.
But pure alcohol, they can. Go figure.
Here, Francoise,
I brought you some touron.
Bad timing.
She's just been to the dentist.
It's the thought that counts.
Sure, it's the thought.
I have good thoughts and shitty gifts.
Eat your eggs. They'll get cold.
Have some bread with them.
To soak up the yoke. I'll butter it.
You're puffing like a grampus.
Apart from pastis extract
and Spanish nougat, what's in your bag?
Gold ingots, what else?
Got a toilet kit, at least?
I have soap and shampoo.
The hotels get stingier and stingier.
Say...
Lend me your Mercedes?
For now
I'll lend you a toothbrush.
Not that one!
- I'm not next to you?
- No, down here.
Really?
It's better here.
I look like your father.
Fixing up the house?
That's to re-build the bookshelves
you busted last time.
Oh, c'mon. I said I'd pay you back.
I've got something in the works.
Don't laugh! This is serious.
A forest!
That'll provide income forever.
Forests are the thing to invest in.
Here.
They're too small for me.
They should fit you.
- You're not even listening to me.
- Sure I am.
A forest. Where?
Up north, but you gotta act fast.
Always.
And what do you plan to do?
Timber. Firewood.
What, 'oh'? There's more
than just wind turbines.
Timber is energy.
It's organic, it doesn't pollute.
And still reasonably priced.
But not for much longer.
It's already climbing.
It's going to be madness.
It's already madness, fella.
But not only in timber.
I'll get a toothbrush.
Glad to see your brother?
Sure I'm glad.
There are blankets in the closet.
- Seen Jacques this morning?
- No.
- I think he's still sleeping.
- We can count on him for that.
Don't start.
You're right.
I'm going out.
To do some errands?
To see Gentil's wife.
He gave me her address.
It's very complicated.
'Upper Rambles,
- I see where that is.
- So do I. I checked the map.
Pretty nice area.
He doesn't strike me
as being down and out.
Why are you bothering?
I thought we were on vacation.
I don't know... The guy intrigues me.
He moves me.
I'm Paul Bellamy, police inspector.
I told Inspector Leblanc everything.
This is a private call.
Since you're Francoise's husband...
You know my wife?
The boy she's tutoring...
- He's very fond of her.
- He is.
Come in.
You sure have stuff.
But no strength to unpack it.
What did you tell the police?
The truth.
That I didn't know anything.
I saw Noel Gentil yesterday.
Who's that?
You don't know anyone
by that name?
No one.
Are you ill?
I knew it would end badly.
This your first husband?
No, that's him.
Who?
Emile...
Emile Leullet.
You've only been married once?
For better or for worse, yes.
Your husband never talked about
changing his name?
Why should he?
'I knew it would end badly.'
What did you mean by that?
It wasn't his fault!
He fell asleep at the wheel.
Yes, but...
the charred remains in the car
weren't Emile Leullet's.
- Whose do you think it was?
- How should I know?
He never told me anything.
I only saw him at breakfast.
Will the insurance pay?
Dear lady, that would take a miracle.
Insurance companies don't appreciate
scams like this.
As soon as something smells fishy
they dig in their heels.
My husband should have known
all the tricks, after 20 years at Axa.
He lost his job?
He took unpaid leave.
All because...
of that bitch.
Excuse me for asking...
but can I get a glass of water?
- Yes, of course.
- I can get it.
How did you get along
with your husband?
He was a hard worker.
That's nice,
but how did you get along physically?
Not at all.
Yet when we first met, I had hopes.
You hoped what?
I had hopes.
I found him attractive.
Not handsome,
but he had presence.
Very elegant,
always fashionably dressed.
I liked him, dressed.
You liked to see him in public?
Exactly.
In public.
But in private, not so good.
Yes, you might say that.
But he made up for it.
- How's that?
- He was very generous.
I only had to ask. He'd get it for me.
Even more recently.
It's been harder more recently?
What did you tell Inspector Leblanc?
That he was under a spell.
He went to her every night.
I did all I could to stop it.
You threatened him?
Not my style.
Let me show you something.
Nice collection!
Crepe soles, so he could sneak out.
At first...
Later, he didn't bother.
So I had to resort to drastic measures.
You hid his car keys?
That wasn't enough.
He'd take taxis.
He absolutely had to see her.
So I locked the shoe closet,
and I hid the key.
Not a single pair of shoes available.
- So what'd he do?
- He got around it!
He took my slippers!
Have you ever met her?
Better than that.
He brought her here.
They rehearsed in the garage.
- They rehearsed what?
- Dancing.
Emile had joined a dance club.
She was his partner.
- Explain.
- His dance partner.
It was a city event.
Just like in America.
A contest that anyone could enroll in.
- So they rehearsed together...
- Right.
At first, I saw no harm in it.
I didn't hold it against them.
I figured: They're just dancing.
Look...
They won the contest.
The judges said
they were the handsomest couple.
Weren't you jealous?
I felt so confused.
But didn't you think it could go further?
That they'd go all the way?
I thought it was just a contest.
You were proud.
I never knew how to dance.
What I love is decorating my house.
In my family, we never had anything.
I even have a DVD of the contest.
I'm sure they still see each other.
Even if he's hiding, she goes to him.
I should've killed them.
You sure don't mince words.
Tell me, you still have this DVD?
And what do you read here?
B-A-D.
- And that makes?
- Bad.
It makes us bad...
She's a good teacher!
Who are you?
He's Paul's brother, Jacques.
I told you.
Jacques what?
Jacques Lebas.
Lebas, not Bellamy. He's no brother.
Yes, he is.
Families are complicated.
Very complicated.
Your teacher will explain.
That's enough, please.
Whose hand is that?
Emile Leullet's.
And that's his mistress.
Leullet, the swindler?
The naive fool, you mean.
He's got you hooked.
But he's no saint.
He got it figured all wrong.
I never saw a cop like you.
- He looks like our man.
- He is our man.
Emile Leullet
is hiding out as Noel Gentil.
- Looks like he had his face recarved.
- He did.
You guessed that?
The plastic surgery, the forged papers.
That must have cost him.
I'd like to know who was in that car.
Speaking of cars,
your brother wants to borrow yours.
He asked you?
Will you two grow up?
It has nothing to do with age.
Just where is he?
In the kitchen, with little Gilles.
He's having his portrait done.
Why didn't you have kids?
To spare them this rotten world.
Gilles, time's up. I'll take you home.
I haven't finished my drawing.
It'd be a shame not to.
Just five more minutes, then.
Have some chocolate.
There. Want some?
I'll lend you my car eventually.
You're not gone yet.
Say, I could use some money.
And what I gave you
two months ago?
You gonna ask how I spent it?
He wants to buy a forest.
I know, he told me all about it.
She said it had possibilities.
You said that?
I don't remember what I said.
She's afraid you'll get annoyed.
I'd like to smash your face in.
Just kidding.
- What's that?
- His gun.
He showed it to me.
It's yours, actually.
He wanted to see
a real police gun.
I should have asked,
but you were busy with Francoise.
It was just to show the boy.
You finished my portrait?
Swell.
I need some air.
No one's keeping you in.
Can I take your raincoat?
In case it rains.
Take my raincoat.
See you later...
Iovebirds.
Who's his wife?
He doesn't have one.
Now get your things and let's go.
Podiatrist-pedicurist
Not ticklish, I hope, Inspector?
I don't think so.
Tell me where it hurts.
You have fallen arches.
You need more exercise.
I got plenty in my youth.
I bet you were attractive.
You in town for a while?
A month's vacation.
My wife is from Nimes.
Someone recommended me?
What does it matter?
Talk to me
about your ex-dance partner.
Which one?
The one who vanished into thin air.
Emile Leullet.
Let's change the subject.
Were you happy with him?
Hey, is this a grilling?
A grilling is very different,
I assure you.
This is just a question.
It's a pleasure to answer a star.
Remember, this is a private visit.
No problem.
Fine.
I'll repeat my question:
Were you happy with Emile Leullet,
Miss Sancho?
I see what you're getting at.
There's more to life.
What more did he give you?
Trips. Two-day hops, at the most.
He must've promised more than that.
The moon!
And what comes with it.
A divorce, life insurance for his wife,
then away we go.
Away where?
Around the world, to start with.
Then settle down somewhere.
- And you said yes?
- I wasn't going to argue.
He'd say, 'leave it to me.'
He was stubborn.
Is this place yours?
The office...
The lease is in my name.
And the loan?
There was none.
Leullet lent me money.
He played the stock market.
What do you owe him?
All the hassles he got me into.
Don't be ridiculous.
You have hassles?
You bet I do.
Think Leblanc let me off lightly?
You should see how he treats me.
He threatened me: I'm an accomplice,
it'll end badly for me.
- If I only knew what was going on.
- I can explain.
You met one of the few men
who keeps his promises.
Aren't I a lucky girl!
He said he'd take you away,
but had a moral debt to his wife.
Hence, the insurance scam
and the staging of his own death.
He found a man who could be his double
and sent him to kingdom come
at the Sete cemetery.
But nobody got the insurance.
And no divorce.
The whole plan's dead.
Especially the toasted stiff in the car.
Did you know him?
Did Leblanc already ask you that?
He didn't think of it.
I'm not surprised.
Well, I'm asking.
You knew about the insurance scam?
He said his wife
needed money for the mortgage.
So you did know.
I did help him out, that's true.
By doing what?
Finding a sucker?
Somebody had to hold
the steering wheel.
Before sending the car over the cliff.
He didn't tell me
what he wanted to do.
Granted.
- Who was the man?
- A tramp. That's all we could find.
I spotted him camping out front.
Emile said he'd fit the bill,
but didn't tell me his plan.
And you never wondered?
You're not curious.
Then what?
You talked him into getting
in the car with you?
It wasn't very difficult.
You okay?
Sete is far. It's not all highway.
Don't worry, he's driving.
You know where
the Sailor's Cemetery is?
There will be signs on the road, relax.
Here, some clean clothes.
You got all fancied up.
I don't have to dress like a lord
to go to a cemetery.
It would be more pleasant.
He's afraid
I'm gonna dirty up his carriage,
that bobo.
It's for you.
- You can shower at my place.
- I hate showers!
A bath, then.
A bubble bath?
A bubble bath.
When do we leave?
And you went with them?
Only as far as Montpellier.
Pull over. I feel sick.
I have pills in my jacket.
I don't want your pills.
I want to get out.
I'm going back to Nimes.
You changed your mind?
I didn't feel up to it.
What did Leullet say?
You don't know him.
He opened the car door.
- What was this tramp like?
- Handsome once.
A bit like Emile, only better looking.
But that's not enough.
You have to fight... to get there.
Get where?
Where you want to be.
And where did he want to be?
Did you ask?
He was fed up with his life here.
He wanted to see the sea.
It was our big opportunity.
Why did you walk out on him?
Honestly?
- I didn't want to be an accomplice.
- You already were.
I can turn the page.
And even tear it up.
I got scared.
I didn't know what he had in mind.
The life he planned on offering you.
Apparently, a lot of hot air.
The plan bombed.
I get the feeling
you tire of people fast. Am I wrong?
I'm pretty fast.
Aren't you?
I'm a bastard!
What's the matter?
Nothing.
Sorry to wake you.
I heard someone yell.
You all right?
We're fine.
I had a weird dream, too.
We're fine, we said.
Have a sip.
Good night.
Right.
I'm a bastard.
Yes, a real bastard.
There's no other word for it.
You enjoy torturing yourself,
Mr. Leullet.
I'm completely lost.
It all went too fast.
It's as if it all happened
to someone else.
You're no original, pal.
We always kill to get rid of something.
But most people who kill
get rid of themselves
at the same time.
Look at you.
You imagine killing a homeless person
so his body can take your place
in the burnt-out car.
You get a face job and fake ID
to make a new life for your dream girl.
Then bam!
The shit hits the fan.
The insurance company
discovers the scam.
What if I said I didn't kill him?
You're so convincing.
I feel like I've touched bottom.
Don't worry,
you can still sink lower.
Tell me about your little outing.
Let me drive!
- Not now.
- Let me drive!
I don't want to die.
I do! I wanna die, prick!
He wanted to kill himself.
And you obliged him, right?
I told you I'm a bastard.
Only half-and-half, like everyone else.
But not everyone kills.
- I didn't kill him.
- Except that not everyone
plans on killing someone.
What happened next?
He was thirsty.
We stopped at a gas station
You'd have let him drive dead drunk
sitting next to him?
- I'd have gotten out before.
- In any case,
you sacrificed the car.
In any case,
the problem never came up.
When I came back with the bottle,
the car was gone.
- You didn't beat around the bush.
- I always finish what I start.
Got anything to drink?
I have a half-bottle of wine.
- Perfect.
- But only a toothbrush glass.
No problem.
So tell me about life
with your two women.
You never frankly explained the situation
to either one of them?
I preferred to handle things my way.
And your way was to send a tramp
to kingdom come?
Think my wife will be all right?
I have no idea...
but she told me
a thing or two about you.
She never tried to understand me.
She treated me like a child.
Made me feel guilty.
I couldn't get it up anymore...
you see?
I felt like an old man.
Did you see Nadia, too?
I dropped by.
- She has a nice foot skeleton.
- Don't mock her!
Far be it from me.
She restored your taste for life.
She sure did. Thanks to her,
I realized my life wasn't over,
that I could still accomplish things.
She didn't wear panties.
So as not to waste time.
I'd never known anything like it.
She wanted it anywhere: A restaurant,
under a table, in a doorway.
She was capable of anything!
Anything!
Didn't that scare you a little?
Sure it did...
At first.
It intimidated me.
The nerve came gradually.
The nerve to kill?
Give me your king.
He sees right through the cards.
Let him cheat if it makes him happy.
You should talk!
I don't cheat.
You got all the good cards.
Nice of you to wait up for me.
It's almost midnight.
We kept busy.
Your report, Inspector.
It may change,
but for now, it's a guy
who wants to kill a guy
who wants to die.
You want to help me die?
No, he doesn't mean you.
I don't mean you.
Hunting a dangerous criminal?
I thought you were on vacation.
Vacation's not in his vocabulary.
Work's like vacation to him.
I know I'm a hell of a lucky guy.
What about you?
What about me?
Want my schedule?
- No. I don't give a shit.
- I know you don't.
Paul, stop drinking.
My last.
Remember when Gramps
pissed in the elevator?
At the lawyer's.
He was drunk as a skunk.
Don't talk like that. He raised you.
I'm talking about sinking.
In our family,
we always sank pretty low.
Didn't you own land?
Land isn't worth anything.
I've had enough. I'm turning in.
I'll go up with you.
I'll get those shelves up tomorrow.
Get up the stairs first.
I looked. You forgot the nails.
You married well, you lucky stiff.
You know Francoise
inherited from her aunt.
Not just the house.
The mutual funds, too.
Those, too, yes.
Do you manage the portfolio?
What's it to you?
You wouldn't have lost the land.
I know the value of things.
Keep moving.
Hold on.
I'd like to be like you.
Have the last word.
It's not something you learn.
You'll have it when you croak.
I forbid you to talk to me like that!
C'mon.
You could use some air.
See this?
It used to be a fancy brothel,
for the middle class,
officials and even clergy.
The bastards!
Did they get it up or not?
The story doesn't say.
They've all gone into humanitarian aid.
The visitors are the same.
The motivations differ.
You think mankind is improving?
Given that example, it's debatable.
And me...
When I'm dead,
what will you say about me?
I'll go before you do.
You'll come piss on my grave.
I like it when you talk that way.
I like it when you shut up.
How are you?
Still on for Thursday?
- Sure.
- See you Thursday, then.
Who's that?
Francoise's dentist and his boyfriend.
- You might have introduced us!
- Come along Thursday, if you like.
Ever been fucked in the ass?
Don't start about
your time in prison again!
You really left me in the lurch.
Half-brother, different names,
no one the wiser.
I've put up with enough
of your bullshit.
There comes a time
when you want a break.
Let's get back
before you catch your death.
- Back for a few trifles?
- I hope not.
Your hair looks nice that way.
Can I talk to you a minute?
Not here.
- Jojo, take over for five minutes?
- Ten, if you want.
Sorry, I didn't realize who you were.
I saw your name on your credit card.
I was afraid to look dumb.
I wouldn't worry about it.
But you're famous.
- Am I too close? Does it bother you?
- All depends what for.
Some enlightenment.
You were summoned by the police.
How do you know?
Your name's on the visitor's register
at the morgue.
You came with a detective
to identify a body
that could be your friend
Denis Leprince,
no occupation listed,
no known address.
Did you recognize him?
Hard to tell. It might be him.
Were you told how he died?
In a car at the bottom of a gully.
At the foot of the Sete cemetery.
Where Georges Brassens is buried.
Denis wanted to visit his grave.
He worshipped him.
So that's it.
That's how Leullet managed
to get him into his car.
Was your friend Denis suicidal?
He was dreadfully ill, really.
But he wouldn't die.
He couldn't believe he was still around.
That didn't stop him from being sweet.
And smart.
When did you meet him?
When he worked
as a pharmacist's assistant.
I liked him right off.
What did you like about him?
His way of seeing things.
He thought the world was a mess.
- He was right.
- Being right doesn't make you happy.
It's often the opposite.
Did he try to find out why?
Did he want to change things?
He couldn't stand anything. Or anyone.
Let me guess. He started drinking?
And getting fired all the time.
- What was he like, drunk?
- You couldn't tell.
Maybe he had a slightly stiffer walk.
But he was always kind.
His gestures were very gentle.
He got that from his father.
His father was an alcoholic, too?
He was a judge
before being an alcoholic.
Did they get along well?
Badly. The old man was no fun.
Was Denis fun?
He thought I was fun.
How long were you together?
Five years.
Then he vanished just like that,
no explanation,
not a word.
Did you love him?
He was in a class by himself.
He'd say what he thought, like kids do.
It was a change from the rest.
You never saw him again?
Just talking about
it hurts even more.
I know. Airing bad memories
doesn't help. That's nonsense.
If they catch that guy Leullet,
what'll he get?
That'll depend on the judges.
They like things clear-cut:
Good guys on one side,
bad on the other.
Denis wouldn't have liked that.
He got the homeless man into his car.
Is that what they call assisted suicide?
If we believe
his version, they set out for a murder
and ended with a suicide.
Do you believe his story?
Half-and-half.
I can't seem to get a fix on this guy.
Whether he's weak and innocent
or diabolically clever.
He may be both.
Kiss me.
You can do better.
Not now. We'll be late.
This dinner is getting to be a bore.
This one will do.
A viognier.
I've never been jealous.
As long as he was happy.
You deserve a lot of credit.
I don't think so. That's how I am.
You should dress that way
more often.
It suits you. Elegance.
Remember when you'd give me
four-leaf clovers?
I used to find them everywhere.
Not any more.
Try as I might. No more!
Shit! I'm so clumsy.
Not always.
It's okay. Go change. We'll wait.
White wine doesn't stain.
Let's go.
Move over, please.
You're blocking my view.
Same old story.
Ever since I was a kid. 'Move over! '
- Don't you ever get tired of it?
- No, move.
Jerk!
Hand me the sweater in the back.
Cold?
Your bickering gives me a chill.
Two brothers!
Right, the rival brothers.
It goes back to the dawn of time!
That from History Magazine?
Stop making fun of me all the time.
Outta the way, dammit!
I can't see out the back!
If you want to drive, go ahead!
- Where you going?
- You were too sharp.
Get in.
I'd rather walk.
He doesn't know where they live.
Yes, he does.
We drove by this afternoon.
Someone's always around to help him.
He manages pretty well, finally.
He's weak.
You have to forgive him.
Why do we always forgive the weak?
Because they're weak.
That's how it is.
You're beautiful and profound.
I love you.
Watch the road.
I still love you.
And without panties,
would you still love me?
What?
Watch the road, I said.
What's all this about panties?
I'm not wearing panties.
They show.
An excellent reason.
This is...
I must say it's...
Isn't this something!
I must say...
You have quite a collection!
I know it's a bit tendentious,
but I must say I'm proud of it.
Bernard?
- Shall we eat?
- Sure. Let's go.
We hope your brother comes.
I hope so, too.
Francoise, would you sit here?
- And Paul, here.
- Fine.
What a place!
- You like hot oysters, I hope?
- I like everything. That's my charm.
I'm keeping the fifth plate warm.
Your wine is chilling.
Meanwhile, taste ours.
With pleasure.
Great minds think alike!
So, what have you decided
about that cruise?
Better ask Paul.
My poor Francoise,
he seems to have no desire
to take a break.
Paul, Alain asked you a question.
These oysters are great, Bernard.
We can divide up my brother's portion.
He hates seafood.
To change the subject,
I thought of you, Paul.
I grilled your friend,
Inspector Leblanc.
- He's one horny bastard!
- So they say.
- Where'd you hear that?
- At the hairdresser's.
Anyway, we sold him the Picasso.
He got a deal:
- So, no more car?
- We're onto a hybrid.
What's that?
It runs AC/DC.
Good definition.
What else did Leblanc tell you?
He told me about the homeless guy.
They identified him from his teeth.
The dead man's jaw diagram
didn't match Leullet's.
- You gave him the X-rays?
- Of course.
When they have a body to identify,
they call dentists first.
Still no news of this Leullet?
He'll turn up sooner or later.
I hear the city bought
the Excelsior theatre.
I saw Night of the Hunter there.
What'll they do with it?
A new police building, apparently.
I made you my special chicken salad.
I'll go get it.
I have a scoop.
Our tramp was named Denis Leprince,
and his father
was the presiding judge here.
Was? He died?
Two years ago. During a trial.
Before the sentence?
The guy got lucky.
Old man Leprince was no softie.
He claimed not to have a son.
A tramp in the family stains the image.
Especially when you live alone
in a 12-room house.
Look who's here at last.
Now for my chicken salad.
Take a seat.
You missed the hot oysters.
Your brother ate your share.
I'm not surprised.
Relaxation... That's what it's like.
You spend your time tanning and fishing.
- Do you fish, Paul?
- Sure.
I swing wide so as not to scare the fish.
- But preferably in rivers.
- Rivers are dangerous!
I once saw a guy drowning.
He was waving his arms.
Drowning people
often seem to be waving.
Sorry. I'm not bored,
but I have to be off.
Thank you for dinner.
He's an interesting character...
My wife thinks so, too.
Oh, please!
Is that scarf yours?
You want your car keys, too?
Let's make a deal.
Wait ten minutes, take us home,
then go to your whores or whatever.
And no accidents.
I won't, I promise.
Thanks, that's kind.
My dumb brother got the date wrong.
His nose looks better now.
What a bummer to have good looks
you can't show off.
I find this business so exciting.
And Leblanc
has no idea where he's hiding!
Leblanc is the dumbest cop in the land.
That's what my aunt said.
You liar! You're wearing panties.
I must have put them on
without thinking.
Tell me,
when Leullet comes out of hiding,
what'll he do?
Who will he go see?
His wife, to ask for forgiveness.
No! His mistress.
A man goes to his mistress first.
How do you know that?
Answer me.
I am answering.
I asked a question, you didn't answer.
I need to know what you think
and why you think it.
- I think about what I do.
- Really?
I always think about what I do.
You're the dreamer.
- Don't turn the light off.
- I will.
Those are the bowls from Mom's.
I thought they were broken.
- We drank hot chocolate out of them.
- Coffee with milk.
The coffee wasn't in these.
These were for hot chocolate.
No, these were for coffee with milk.
There's not much gas left.
I figured as much.
Did you go to the whores?
- Did you go gambling?
- No. Yes.
- Did you win?
- You know I didn't. I never win.
I never have any luck. You took it all.
What? What did I take?
The luck.
You left none for the others.
And you don't even realize it.
That's a new one.
I should've hated you for it.
I tried at first.
Nothing doing:
I admired you.
To me, you were tops.
That's a new one, too.
No kidding. You don't say.
I'm not being critical,
but you used to heat up real milk.
- I didn't buy any.
- So what? You take your coffee black.
Wipe your mouth.
You break my balls!
- You don't know what he's capable of.
- Drink your coffee.
Tell her you never took risks.
Even bedding chicks.
He pulled the wool over your eyes
for so long!
Even if you say you don't give a damn...
- I can't stand it.
- Jacques, stop it.
- I'll smash his face in.
- You're too indecisive.
- Dammit!
- You two are mad!
Really? Yes, I'll check.
Call you back.
That was Bernard.
He had more than 2000 euros
in his coat pocket.
Did you take that money? Was it you?
See how he looks away!
I'll run over and pay him back.
I don't want any trouble.
What'll I do with you?
Got a cigar?
Are you kidding me?
I'm asking if you have a cigar.
Get up.
Okay,
let's say I'm scum.
You killed Mom with all your bullshit.
Put that bottle away.
I like talking to you.
I'm not sorry I came.
I'll miss your critical eye.
When do you leave?
I haven't decided yet.
I'm not thirsty.
C'mon. You know I hate to drink alone.
I don't believe this.
Well, well...
You went out for air?
I went to see Nadia.
I missed her too much.
- Not very smart.
- I know, but I couldn't help it.
And how'd it go?
What did she say?
- What did she say?
- It's funny.
What's funny?
That's what she said: 'It's funny.'
That all she said?
She said:
'You look like someone I know.'
And?
Nothing. I didn't dare say anything.
What'll become of me without her?
We'll be better off in your room.
Come on, pal.
What a change.
I'm trying to climb out of my hole.
I brought you oranges.
You need your vitamins.
My wife and I both come
from a very modest background.
Nadia, too, in fact.
And you wanted to get rich.
It's not the first time that...
you've taken risks.
No, it's not the first time.
When was the first time?
When I was an insurance broker,
I did overtime.
I invested clients' money.
But hey, they made a bundle.
I see.
You did it for them, and took your cut.
I got results. Talent has a price.
Sure. Everything has a price.
Murder has a price. On credit or not.
What murder?
I'll pay my dues.
I'll do what I have to.
I want to be a decent guy.
What's it mean to be a decent guy?
Do you think I'm a decent guy?
- With or without a scarf?
- Without.
Without anything, in fact.
So, am I a decent guy?
You're a pain.
- What's for lunch?
- Check the fridge.
What's wrong with my brother, exactly?
I'm not going to pinch your gun.
Where are you going?
- Out for air.
- Can I come along?
You could be nicer to him.
Call him, tell him to come.
- I'll call and reserve for three.
- Skip it.
You were right.
Leullet went to see his mistress first.
So what do you think of him?
Think he's a decent guy?
Funny you should ask.
He tries hard
to make me believe he is.
- And?
- I'm not convinced.
Or of the contrary either.
You have to have been poor
to understand.
The poor want to be like the rich.
- You don't care about money.
- That's because I think I have enough.
- I side with the little guys.
- Against the powerful?
- The other day you said the opposite.
- I changed my mind.
There's no such thing as the powerful.
I imagined that to justify myself.
We can't always do what we want,
but often what we don't want to.
Get it?
I get we're talking about your brother.
I asked you a question. Answer me.
Okay.
- I think you're being a bit murky.
- Really?
Why?
Because I happen to face reality
from time to time?
The manhole! You almost fell in!
Yes, I almost did,
but I didn't.
You were here.
Sorry, I don't have a handkerchief.
I gave all my tissues to Leullet.
What's the matter?
Why am I so lucky?
Why?
Don't go.
I need to talk.
About what?
You're right
to let me fend for myself.
I'm sick of always needing help.
It's humiliating.
Good night.
How about that!
You're just a poor
police inspector's dog.
Poor dog!
Sorry, but I can't see you now.
- You're closed?
- I'm busy.
Tell him his dog is thirsty.
Inspector Leblanc.
The Picasso is his car, right?
He just bought it from friends.
I see who I want.
What did you want to know?
What you just told me.
My cousin in Colombia
says I can find work there.
I could send money home to my wife.
She doesn't want to go to Colombia?
I'm going with my princess.
Seeing me the other day was a surprise.
It's normal.
She has to get used to my new looks.
Here...
give her this for me.
How'd you get that?
I swapped my watch
with some motel customers. Germans.
Your princess
is screwing that cretin.
What cretin?
My local colleague,
Inspector Leblanc.
- That can't be.
- Oh yes, it can.
Stop.
Stop!
That's not going to change
your life.
Put it behind you.
Forget your princess.
If you want my opinion,
she won't do you any favors.
You're better off counting on your wife,
if she still has any feelings for you.
Why'd you get Leprince in your car?
Leave me alone! Get the hell out!
No one talks to me like that, okay?
You came to me.
Forgive me.
I'm sorry. Accept my apologies.
Done.
Why'd you get Leprince into your car?
He wanted
to see Georges Brassens's grave
at the cemetery at Sete.
I thought it'd make a nice outing.
Want me to go see your wife?
See what she thinks?
- She was obviously watering her plants.
- Death was instantaneous.
She had severe cardiac arrhythmia.
But this wasn't expected.
I'll have to request an autopsy.
Her family must be notified.
What are you doing?
What are you staring at?
I'm sorting your closet.
I gave him your blue suit.
It's too small.
Stealing from the rich
to clothe the poor.
What is it?
What's been going on here?
Nothing. I was changing the sheets.
Why was he shirtless?
He was in the bathroom.
He took a shower.
What went on between you two?
What do you mean, what went on?
When?
I don't know when.
I'm asking what went on.
Don't remember?
Like with the panties?
Sorry.
I don't know what got into me.
I think you need some rest.
If you want to lie down,
take off your shoes.
It's funny to see them together.
No doubt about it,
we're not the same size.
Sure, but still, it's odd.
Men and women are different.
That's the latest scoop.
There's another one.
Leullet vanished.
Again?
And even a third: His wife is dead.
Ruptured aneurysm.
- A real debacle!
- And his mistress is screwing Leblanc.
I sleep with a cop, too.
One last glass. That'll fix us.
Not too much!
Here we go!
- Where's he going?
- To puke.
Why not tell him to stop drinking?
Like pissing in the wind.
We can't con each other anymore.
- What do you mean?
- We become ruthless.
We see all the little flaws.
You can accept them.
You can even forgive.
It doesn't stop you from seeing them.
You talking about us?
We're different.
We love each other.
- You hate your brother that much?
- Worse than that.
It's as if he were me.
- Not tired of destroying yourself?
- You're sweet to care.
- I found the answer.
- Then answer to what, for God's sake?
To the question
I've been asking myself.
Two teas, please.
I'd prefer sparkling water.
You mind?
You always decide for him.
I'll go tell the girl.
The Nimes police have reason
to be pleased.
A man contacted them this morning.
He'd been hiding out in a hotel
under an assumed name
and a new face. He is none other than
former insurance broker Emile Leullet,
wanted for insurance fraud
and the murder of a homeless man...
For reasons that remain obscure,
he turned himself in.
He is now being questioned
by /nspector Leblanc.
And now, the latest bullfight news...
- Looking for someone?
- I haven't been here in ages.
The neighborhood's changed a bit.
Third floor.
Only a woman's legs don't change.
- You the sentimental type?
- I have nice memories.
So do I...
Denis and I lived here for five years.
His first long relationship?
He used to say I was fun.
Always in a good mood.
Impervious
to psychological complications.
That's enough to keep a man.
He was so miserable.
Put yourself in his shoes.
This is it.
It belonged to Denis,
from his college days.
In pharmacology?
He wanted to be an entomologist.
- May I?
- Please don't.
- It hurts too much.
- You don't have to look.
I know them by heart.
Please don't...
- Can I introduce someone?
- A new boyfriend?
I don't have one.
A childhood friend.
He's a lawyer.
He's like my brother.
Can I go get him?
Assholes.
I'm a friend of Claire's.
She even got me my studio.
How are things?
Not too bad.
He just got his degree.
This will be his first case.
We examined this from every angle.
We decided not to press charges.
I understand.
You agree with me?
We can't be sure...
I'm like you,
I have a soft spot for murderers.
That's in your memoirs.
It stuck in my mind.
Forget my memoirs.
You still need a stance.
How are you going to plead?
Happenstance... Coincidences happen.
Which don't always happen by chance.
A combination of circumstances,
if you prefer.
They were fated to meet.
Leprince wanted to die
and Leullet threw him a line,
even if he had another plan.
It's not a murder,
but an exchange of favors.
You're ambitious, kid.
I can see why you chose this profession.
He should be acquitted,
shouldn't he?
Maybe.
I can't say.
But judges are hard-headed.
It's hard to surprise them,
and even harder to come out on top.
We need a plan.
Then find one, quick.
Something to wake Denis up
and make him laugh up there.
Easier said than done.
Let's see what stuff you're made of.
That sonofabitch Leblanc,
you should have seen his face
when I told him.
Inspectors aren't all the same,
believe me.
What'd you tell him?
That he had no business
sleeping with Nadia.
That she's not up for grabs.
Takes two to screw.
She didn't pity you.
I'll fight. She's my princess.
She's cost you enough.
My lawyer is pessimistic.
What does he know?
The girlfriend of the man
you took for a ride, Denis Leprince,
decided not to press charges.
She'll be an ordinary witness.
You'll take her lawyer.
- The same one?
- The same one.
He'll explain why a poor wretch
wanted to be buried near the Sete beach.
Oh, really?
He'd do that?
What's this lawyer like?
Like you. He's driven.
Why are you...
...doing this for me?
- None of your business.
I've seen
too many empty rooms lately.
- That all he took?
- The car, too.
The bastard! He had a copy made.
He drank all that?
You let him leave drunk?
I wasn't here when he left.
I wasn't here.
Goddammit!
You're suffocating me.
You know that girl
who runs the school choir?
Can you give me her number?
What for?
To give voice lessons.
Think she'd do it?
What are you cooking up now?
Good things, I hope.
My defense will be brief.
It will only take a few minutes.
Go on, counsel, you may begin.
'Without being a total ignoramus,
'I'm no thinker,
no beauty, nobody famous
'But I'm not a bad sort
and I have a good heart
'That should make up for a start...
'A twit can be a decent guy
'Like me, like you, like all of us
No need to cry
'lf he commits a silly act,
'Devoid of tact
'He wouldn't hurt a fly
'But sadly, as the Earth turns,
"Most deadbeats are lower than worms
"They bustle, and hustle, and tussle
To get in our way"
What is this? Star Search?
'To make our lives hell day after day
'Forgive me, O Lord,
if my words seem tart
'When you cast the poor jerk
in the villain's part
'You made this world,
you must confess,
'What it is today: A Godawful mess! '
This news flash just in:
Emile Leullet alias Noel Gentil,
was finally acquitted.
The defense by his young lawyer,
Jean-philippe Metrail,
ad hoc performer
of our great Georges Brassens,
astonished the courtroom
but eased tensions.
Tell us how it happened.
Well...
- Singing at a trial was a first...
- / believe so/
But it was a hit in any case.
Only the insurance companies
called the trial grotesque...
Singing Brassens at a trial...
That takes some doing!
Be right with you, Mrs. Chantemerle.
It was Paul's idea.
- It was nothing really.
- You're too modest!
Some modesty does no harm
in this day and age.
I've finished with your wife.
Your brother sent us a nice card
from Saint Malo.
- Lucky you.
- He's not a bad fellow.
No, he's harmless.
What a long face!
You should be pleased.
I don't know.
I wonder if Leullet and princess Nadia
didn't take me for a ride.
What makes you think that?
The look on his face
after the acquittal.
You look tired.
It's not the fatigue.
This business with Leullet?
Why didn't Jacques
send us a postcard, too?
I don't know.
He tell you what I did to him
when we were kids?
I don't want to talk about him.
I know. You want to travel.
We'll go. We'll stay in some hotel
with palm trees in the lobby
and prim old ladies
clinging to their rattan armchairs.
That Agatha Christie stuff
is ancient history.
You're right.
I'm stuck in the past. It's dumb.
Turn on the light, for once.
For once, what?
He doesn't remember.
Or he'd hate me even more.
Remember what?
I couldn't stand
his little angel face anymore.
I was supposed to protect
my kid brother. But I couldn't.
That's why...
That's why, what?
I almost killed him, you see?
- Are you kidding?
- Not at all.
I'm not kidding at all.
I don't believe you. It's not true.
I was lucky, once again.
He didn't die.
I had him by the throat.
Then, a miracle happened.
The miracle was the door opened.
It was Gramps. He got the wrong room.
He saw Jacques half-dead.
'What'd you do to your brother? '
He said.
I can still hear his voice.
How could you bear it,
all these years?
I found a kind of dignity
in despising myself.
I'll get it.
Yes, this is Mrs. Bellamy.
Oh, my God!
It's Jacques.
About time!
No, that's not it.
The car...
He had an accident.
He's dead.
An accident?
That's what they said.
He had the last word.
He was drunk. It was an accident.
'... there is always another story,
'there is more than meets the eye.'
Cynthia Schoch & Lenny Borger